AN: I am blown away by your reviews from the last chapter :-). Jessica didn't know what hit her.

I don't want to give any spoilers, but some of you might get a little upset with both our Edward and Bella here. I try to make the characters as human and realistic as possible, so none of them are perfect. I'm also a firm believer in balance. When there is a great high, it must be followed by a low of some sort.

Trust me.

My Insecurities

Edward collapses next to me and quickly tucks me into his side as we both try to calm our exerted breathing and racing hearts. The soft moss is comfortable and Edward's body heat keeps me warm. The enhanced emotions I've felt from my wolf all evening are beginning to normalize as I lay next to Edward catching my breath. I can actually feel that my mind is finally able to think rationally again. Although I know I should probably feel bad for some of my more extreme reactions I had tonight, especially in regards to Jessica, I don't. Edward's soft chuckle pulls me from my thoughts and I tilt my head back so that I can meet his gaze. As I do, I briefly become distracted by how the vibrant color of his eyes perfectly match the green moss that we are using as our make-shift bed. Those eyes are sparkling with laughter and contentment.

"What?" I ask him with a curious smile.

Our bodies are facing one another, one of my legs tucked between his and my head resting on his outstretched arm, while his other arm rests languidly over my waist. He chuckles again almost in disbelief before trailing his eyes tenderly across my face. His expression becomes tender and those red sparkles begin to crackle around us as he lifts the hand at my waist to cup my cheek. Edward snuggles closer, his warm breath brushing across my face.

"I have made the mistake before of underestimating you," he reveals openly and to the point. My brows furrow slightly in response to his words, but he quickly begins to explain.

"When we first met, all I could see were your weaknesses and the fact that you were half witch. I acted like a superior idiot, who was completely blinded by other people's opinions of you."

He pauses, his fervent eyes burning into mine. My mouth runs dry and I know I couldn't respond even if I wanted to.

"You have proven me wrong again and again, Bella. You are not weak. In fact, you might be the strongest person I know. Your magical talents only enhance your wolf genes and after being able to feel your magic as you do… I can't understand why I was ever skeptical of your powers."

I can feel my cheeks heat at the intensity in his gaze and squirm slightly, unable to accept his praise. Before I can object, however, he quickly interrupts me.

"No, listen," he argues and makes sure that I keep my eyes on him as he continues.

"Everything you did today-," his voice trails off as though there aren't any words for him to describe what he's feeling.

Yet, I can both see and feel his complete adoration. The look in his eyes thrills me, but it scares me a little as well. He chuckles almost in disbelief, his emerald eyes sparkling with excitement as though he's been given an incredible gift. Our eyes hold each other captive, and after a brief pause his expression changes and those small red sparks appear again at the edge of my vision. This time they mold together and grow larger and larger, moving to surround us in a protective cocoon, but I keep my eyes focused on Edward. My heart skips a beat at the very intense and forceful emotion that I feel growing within him. I recognize it immediately, as part of me begins to panic and rebel against it. This is all going too fast. I've accepted Edward as my mate and I already care for him deeply, but there are still aspects about our situation that make me feel weary and hesitant. I'm not ready to jump into the deep end with him yet.

"You are my perfect mate," he whispers as though he's just had an epiphany.

I keep my eyes locked on his as I do my best to push away the rising panic within me. I know he can sense it as well, but his expression and emotions remain steady and strong. The electricity continues to flow between us and I can feel how much the bond between us is begging me to give in, to throw caution to the wind and accept Edward's love, but I'm not mentally ready. Not yet. If my reluctance disappoints him at all, he doesn't show it.

Instead of answering him vocally, I tilt my head and gently brush my lips against his. His lips are soft and so warm; I feel as though I could stay in his embrace forever. An intense urge rises to deepen our connection and throw my newly found rationality to the wind, but I know we need to talk. Reluctantly, I pull my lips away, making sure to drag my nose against his to show my affection before creating more of a space between us. He exhales deeply and opens his eyes slowly. His emotions are calm and relaxed. Moving, as though it is the most natural thing in the world, I wrap my arms around him and lean my head against his strong chest. We both sigh in deep contentment, our bond humming with pleasure.

"Thank you," I whisper after a short while; realizing that I'm not only thanking him for his kind words, but also because of the fact that he isn't pushing me to acknowledge the emotion that he knows I felt coming from him.

His arms tighten around me and I can feel how his entire body relaxes against our makeshift bed. My mind wanders and I'm suddenly reminded of that captivating smell and the intense desire that basically took over my entire body as soon as we arrived in this area.

"Edward?" I ask and his chest rumbles softly as he simply hums his response.

"What kind of a place is this?"

There is slight pause between us and it doesn't take me long to notice how a hint of apprehension is slowly rising within Edward. I force myself to stay calm and wait for his response, but I can feel how my insecurities are building within me. He clears his throat and begins drawing circles on my upper arm in an almost soothing manner as though he is trying to calm me down, or brace me for his response.

"Uhm… it's a little difficult to explain, really," he begins before pausing.

"There's something supernatural about this area that only shifters appear to react to. They've tried to figure out what it is, but they haven't been able to come up with anything. When female wolves are in heat they usually find their way here to breed and it's also a popular place for wolves to come to mate either in wolf or human form. Some say it's something in the air, others swear it must come from the moss, the only thing we all know is that the effect it has on us is quite…potent," Edward pauses.

Although Edward has already assured me that I'm not in my heat cycle and therefore can't get pregnant, I still feel my shoulders tense as nerves begin swelling up inside of me. Edward quickly reacts by moving me back slightly so that my head now rests against his strong arm and he can search my face for my reaction. He has already learned to read my expressions so well and is quick to address my unspoken concern.

"Don't worry. I'll be able to smell when your body begins to change in preparation of your first heat cycle a few months before it actually happens. We'll have time to make necessary arrangements and precautions if you don't feel ready to start a family just yet," he assures me and I can feel my shoulders relax.

There's suddenly a rustle of movement coming from our left and I immediately react by curling my body against Edward, trying to hide my nudity from whoever it is. Edward's deep laughter rumbles through his chest and I quickly glance up at him, trying to figure out what has caused his reaction. His handsome face holds a wide and carefree smile that instantly sends a wave of heat through me and makes me forget why I reacted in the first place. Lustful moans fill the air and I suddenly realize what is going on. Glancing around us, I realize that we are safely protected from view by a few fallen tree trunks and some wild bushes. The moans continue and soon I quickly understand that there are quite a few couples that have found their way down into this particular ravine. The sensual noises have an almost aphrodisiacal effect on me and my thighs clench together as hot desire yet again begins to build within me.

I'm so caught up in the moment, listening to the evidence of several other couples as they carnally join together, that I'm completely taken off guard when Edward's large hand suddenly slips between my thighs. My loud whimper rises and joins the others in their sensual song as Edward's fingers find my wet core. I can feel my pleasure quickly begin to rise as his middle finger firmly and repeatedly draws the infinity symbol on the sensitive skin surrounding my clit.

"As I said, this is a popular spot for certain activities and when we all gather as a Pack many members feel the need to relieve some tension," he whispers gruffly into my ear and I feel my entire body tremble as his finger dips into me before returning to my clit.

He leans forward and begins to leave wet kisses down my sternum and just below my breasts. I can feel how our bond is pulling at me to give into my building desire, but a thought flashes through my mind and I know I need to ask Edward about it before we go any further.

"Mated members?" I ask, my voice breathless. For some reason this matters to me, even though my body's burning desire is slowly taking over every single one of my senses.

Edward moves closer and begins to kiss and suck the sensitive skin just above his mark on my neck as his finger yet again enters me, and the palm of his hand conjures up fireworks of pleasure as delicious tension continues to build inside of me.

"Hmmm?" he responds as though he hasn't heard my question.

"Mmmmm!" I moan when his finger touches that very special spot deep inside of me and I don't even care that someone might hear me. The fact that someone might catch us, actually makes the whole thing much more exciting. One of my hands grabs his wrist, willing him to stop? Continue? I don't think I even know. His movements don't falter, but his touch is lighter; teasing. I whimper, but my head clears enough so that I can repeat my question.

"The couples that find their way down here. They are all mated couples, right?" I ask, my voice begging for more pressure.

There is a brief pause before Edward answers and for some reason it feels as though someone has thrown a bucket of icy water over my entire body.

"Not necessarily," Edward responds and continues his efforts as though nothing has happened.

His response feels like a bucket of icy cold water quickly quenching the furnace of desire that has been spreading throughout my entire body. Victoria's words and innuendo echoes in my mind and suddenly a memory flashes before my eyes. The night of the bonfire. Edward had been sitting with a group of people all huddled together in pairs, doing God-knows-what underneath thick blankets. Jasper making out with Maria. Jessica kissing down Edward's neck. I hadn't paid the rest of the group any mind because I didn't recognize them then… But now as the memory becomes clearer as I focus in on them, something in my mind clicks. There on Edward's left is a vibrant redhead, Victoria, who is busy kissing a beautiful blond haired woman as an African American male watches with lust in his eyes. Tyler and Lauren. It had to have been them. They'd been there with Edward. They all appeared to be good friends, which meant….

My stomach turns and suffocating nausea wracks through my body like an avalanche. I quickly push Edward away and jump to my feet. My wolf is whimpering inside of my head as well. She doesn't like my train of thought either and agrees that we need to get away. Moving as fast as I can, I try to get as far away as I can from that intoxicating scent and those sensual sounds. Blinding pain spreads through my chest and I can feel tears well up in my eyes as I basically run away from my mate without explanation. I can hear him behind me and I can feel his confusion and concern, and although he is following at a distance, he is allowing me the space that I desperately need.

I'm feeling hurt and vulnerable, and it doesn't take long for me to become uncomfortably aware of my lack of clothing. Making a spur of the moment decision, I quickly phase into my wolf form, but make sure to maintain control by keeping my wolf in the far corner of my mind as I race back home to my cottage as fast as I can. When I finally arrive, I wrench the front door open and quickly lock it behind me. The door handle begins to move as Edward tries to enter. Shame joins the hurt and anger inside of me. I know we need to talk and that it is unfair of me to keep him locked out, but right now I feel like I could explode.

Moving to the bedroom, I grab a change of clothes and then quickly rush over to the bathroom and jump into the shower. Turning the water on as hot as it goes, I begin scrubbing my skin with my body wash. Suddenly, it isn't Edward and Jessica's faces that I see, but Stacy's… Stacy's and Oliver's, the tormentors of my past, with their triumphant faces as I'm dragged away by the police officer… I drop the sponge I've been using and use my hands and nails to scrub my skin… trying to wash away his touch… That first time that should have been something special, but wasn't… their betrayal.

"Stop!"

My movements freeze at Edward's commanding tone and I'm suddenly brought back to reality. Looking down I can see Edward's strong hands holding my wrists as drops of blood flow down the newly made scratches on my arms. My skin is bright pink from the burning hot water, but I still feel icy cold. Edward curses as he turns off the water and before I know it, I'm wrapped in a soft towel and delicately placed on the toilet as Edward carefully inspects my already healing wounds.

"I'm fine," I tell him mechanically and the look he shoots in my direction reveals exactly what he thinks of my response, but he appears to be holding his tongue.

Very gently, he wipes the remaining scratches and disinfects them before wrapping my arms with a bandage I know I really don't need. Then he helps me dress into the pajamas that I've left on the sink, before lifting me into his arms and carrying me to bed. He doesn't say a word as he helps me under the covers, but when he leaves a soft kiss on the top of my head I can feel myself crumble. Tears flow silently from my eyes as he leaves the room and begins rummaging around in the kitchen.

I feel drained. The day has felt like a rollercoaster of ups and downs and right now, I'm at an all-time low. Memories of the lies, deceptions and betrayals that I've successfully been able to bury for years are suddenly at the forefront of my brain, confusing me. Edward returns. He's gotten dressed and he's carrying a tray with two steaming cups of something warm and a few sandwiches. I realize that we've hardly eaten anything all day, but I don't feel hungry. He sees my tears, but simply hands me a box of tissues as he sets the tray on the bed between us. The mattress sinks as he makes himself comfortable at the foot of the bed, facing me, yet keeping his distance. Silence fills the room as he takes one of the plates and begins to eat. I mirror his movements, even though I can't taste the food that I'm putting in my mouth. After finishing half of the sandwich I take one of the cups of tea and lean back against my pillows and dry away the remnants of my tears. I know I owe Edward an explanation. I just don't know exactly where to begin.

"I'm sorry I just ran off," I begin, keeping my eyes downcast.

Thinking back on everything now, I realize that I overreacted and I'm ashamed of my actions. I've promised Edward that I won't run away from him again, but that particular habit is something proving to be very difficult to change. Edward doesn't respond, patiently waiting for me to continue. I shoot a quick glance in his direction and see that his eyes are studying me carefully as he waits. Drawing my bottom lip into my mouth, I bite down nervously. I haven't shared this story from my past with anyone, but I know I need to. Edward deserves to know why trusting him is so difficult for me, why I still keep my guard up and why I'm unable to throw caution to the wind and give into that overwhelming emotion that I already feel growing strongly between us.

"Remember how I told you about my time in high school, that after I'd spoken against Stacy in class she actually befriended me and included me into her gang of friends?" I begin in a monotone voice, forcing myself to raise my eyes and meet Edward's gaze.

His brows tighten and I can see the confusion in them. He doesn't understand where I am going with this, but he quickly nods his head in agreement.

"There was this guy… Oliver. He-," my voice breaks nervously. "He quickly showed an interest in me and it didn't take long before he asked me out on a date. He was one of the most popular guys in school and I couldn't really understand why he wanted to hang out with me, but he did so I agreed. I'd never dated anyone before and didn't really know what to expect. On our first date he took me to the movies and was very much a gentleman, opening the door for me, buying me popcorn and some treats. I felt like the luckiest girl on Earth," I pause and take a deep breath.

"When he dropped me off, he kissed me on the cheek and asked me if I wanted to go out again, which I agreed to," I take a sip of my tea.

"To make a long story short, he spent about a month sweeping me off my feet, making me fall head over heels in love with him. We'd kissed and made out a few times, but one evening he drove me to this remote area and we-. He-," my voice breaks off again and I have to inhale deeply a few times to calm myself before I continue.

"I asked him to stop, but he didn't," I reveal, casting my eyes down on the bedding again, unable to keep my eyes held high any longer. I close my eyes and as soon as I do, I see Oliver's face above me as he holds me down, pushing me against the leather seats in the back of his father's antique Cadillac. The smell of those seats is something that I'll never forget for as long as I live. I open my eyes again and take a calming breath.

"Afterwards he acted as though nothing had happened. He drove me home and kissed me goodnight just as always. The next day, as we all hung out together as a group preparing for the break-in, Oliver was being very affectionate and attentive and I remember second guessing myself. I had convinced myself that I loved him, so perhaps I was just overreacting. Everyone always said that the first time would be painful and-."

My voice drifts off when Edward suddenly moves to his feet and stands up from the bed. He immediately turns his back to me and looks out of the window for a second. I'm too caught up in my own emotions that I'm unable to get a good read on what he's feeling. He sets his cup calmly down on the windowsill and moves to the foot of the bed and curls his hands around my metal bedframe and bends his head. Silence fills the room again and it takes me a moment to realize that he's waiting for me to continue. I decide to skip ahead a little, a little worried by the fact that I'm unable to read him right now.

"That evening was the night of the break-in and when the police showed up and caught me, Stacy and Oliver were out there watching smugly as they put me in the back of the police cruiser. I'll never forget it, Oliver had his arms wrapped around Stacy as she filmed the whole thing. Later, I learned that they'd been together the entire time Oliver and I had been "dating", and that everything he did to me had been a part of their sick plan. He told her everything and she used every single detail to her advantage. The bullying was almost unbearable by the end of High School, but I survived."

Edward is breathing heavily and I can see how his knuckles are white as he grips the metal bedframe with his hands. His eyes are fixed on the floor. I reach out and try to get a read off of him, but all I can feel is rage. Is he angry with me? Nervous, I place my cup of tea on the nightstand and intertwine my fingers. I know I need to continue so that he'll understand why I left earlier.

"When we-… Just before I ran from the ravine, I remembered something from the bonfire. That night we first met?" I pause, hoping that he'll look up and meet my gaze, but he doesn't, he is seemingly frozen in place at the end of my bed.

"I remembered you hanging out with Jasper, Maria and Jessica and I think I remember seeing Victoria and what I think must be Tyler and Lauren. Can that be correct?" I ask, hoping he'll answer now that he's been given a direct question.

"Yes," he bites out angrily. His tone is harsh and I can't help but wince.

I've ruined everything, I'm sure of it. Edward won't want anything to do with me now. I can feel tears burn in my eyes again and a large lump grow in my throat, but I force myself to complete what I've set out to do.

"When you told me that a lot of members of the Pack would move down to the ravine to have sex, I remembered what Victoria said about her and being there with Tyler and Lauren. Then I couldn't help but wonder how many times you'd -."

The lump in my throat grows so large that I'm unable to continue and I desperately try to swallow it down and keep my tears at bay. Gazing up at the ceiling, I try to figure out what I can say to make this better.

"I know it's in the past and it's none of my business, but if that was something you usually partook in after a Pack Phasing, then perhaps it isn't strange that some of your previous conquests might think that they still have a chance. After Jessica brushed up against you today, I just couldn't help but wonder if maybe things weren't over between you and her."

"I've already told you that Jessica means nothing to me," Edward interrupts me with a cold tone.

He finally looks up from the floor, but his Beta mask of indifference is in place and a sudden wave of annoyance flows through me in response. I've just basically bared my soul to him and this is how he decides to react? Annoyance quickly builds into anger. My wolf, that has been silent through this whole thing, snaps her jaws at him and growls. She doesn't like his tone, any more than I do.

"From what I've gathered, that still didn't stop you from fucking her before!" I shout before I can stop myself, my wolf fueling my anger and jealousy.

As soon as those harsh words leave my lips, I feel ashamed for even saying them, but I know I can't take them back. Edward's eyes widen and he raises his eyebrows in question. I've surprised him. Unable to maintain eye contact, I look away and take a calming breath. This isn't getting us anywhere, but I can't help but feel like there is something I'm missing. Edward and I are a mated couple, but still for some reason Jessica has felt she has had the right to make a move on Edward on two separate occasions. Once in the woods where Jake stepped in between them and then earlier when I ended up attacking her.

"If things were truly over between the two of you, why on earth would she brush up against you like she did?" I demand in a surprisingly commanding tone.

Edward exhales an exasperated breath and curls his hands around the metal frame yet again before he unapologetically lifts his eyes to mine, his mask of indifference slowly falling away.

"Bella, as I told you that night at the Den when she basically jumped me, my skin felt as though it had been scorched and that was even before we completed the imprint. I can't imagine that I'll ever be able to even touch another woman, not that I'd ever want to," he fixes me with a steady and determined look and my breath immediately catches at his words.

"I felt the exact same way when she brushed up against me as a wolf and I probably would have kicked her ass myself, if you hadn't shown up and very effectively threw her off of my back. Which by the way, was perhaps the sexiest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. No, scratch that, you commanding her to phase into her human form like an Alpha Queen and then holding her with one hand off the side of a cliff will go down in history as the hottest scene in my existence," Edward rambles as he begins to pace back and forth on the floor at the end of my bed as though he's unable to stand still. He exhales deeply again, and this time I can sense a deep sadness and almost helplessness in him.

"I don't know why she's continued to make advances at me. We've never been in a serious relationship. We learn about the imprint from a very young age, and there are very few committed relationships in our Pack that aren't mated. Entering into a relationship prior to an imprint is basically asking for trouble. I figure you already know what happened to Sam, Leah and Emily?"

I simply nod my answer. His jaw tightens and I know he's about to address some of his past transgressions.

"Although most of us don't enter into committed relationships, there has been a tradition for young, single wolves to-," he winces and I can feel how uncomfortable this topic makes him. "Experiment with one another. Traditionally most wolves would wait until they were mated, but that has gradually changed and become more liberal. Much in the same way as our regular society outside of the Pack. With the enhanced emotions that always arise during a Pack Phasing, sex has become an easy and gratifying way to let off some steam for most wolf shifters," Edward continues, trying to explain.

His words contradict so much of what I thought I knew about the Pack and their mating bond and I can see that Edward can read my assumption like an open book.

"When we finally do imprint, however, everything in the past is just that: the past. Nothing is to come between mated couples. It's our most sacred law. The bond makes it impossible for us to even touch anyone from the opposite sex that isn't a close family member without feeling revolted by it. The way you make me feel, Bella is unlike anything I've ever felt before. With just one simple touch, you have spoiled me from any other. When we join together, it is the greatest feeling I have ever experienced in my life. It's like a piece of heaven that the Gods have bestowed upon us as a mated couple. Nothing from before our imprint comes even remotely close."

My cheeks warm at his words and some of those insecurities that have begun to take root, start to shrivel away. Edward suddenly stops abruptly and his emerald eyes pierce into mine. Suddenly, it's as though someone has shattered the protective wall that's been shielding his emotions and I'm able to feel the full extent of them. His eyes are swirling with them. I can clearly see pain, hurt, despair, love and murderous rage. My mouth runs dry, but before I am able to even react, he's by my side, his large hands gently cradling my face.

"I was distracted when I saw how you were reacting to Rosalie and Jessica must have used my lack of attention as her chance to move in close. I don't know why she still felt as though she had the right to touch me. I swear to you, Bella, for me there is only you and that is the way I will feel for the rest of my life. YOU. ARE. IT. FOR. ME."

I can feel my walls crumble at his heartfelt declaration. I know that he's told me this before, but for the first time in… well… ever, I'm finally starting to believe that a man can truly care for me; that I am worthy of some else's love and that I can safely give my love in return. I know I still have a long way to go, and I desperately hope that Edward will be patient with me, but I finally feel as though I might be able to heal my deeply cut and wounded heart. Putting my trust in him to be honest, I allow myself to be vulnerable and ask him the question that is still bothering me. The question that I still don't feel like he is answering me truthfully.

"Edward, you said that the mating bond is sacred. That nothing or no one can come between a mated pair, that it is the Pack's most sacred law," I pause and he nods. Tears burn in my eyes, but I blink them away.

"Then why did Jessica still try to come between the two of us, twice?"