Alex hadn't slept, kept up by a growing sense of anxiety, and the debate raging at Emily's kitchen table. They'd all assembled there; all the Pack, all the Imprints – and when Jacob had gotten back from driving Bella home, the discussion had started.
Sam was with Jacob – his sense of responsibility to the people of La Push seemed to stretch to the inhabitants of Forks too, and he had also mentioned Bella's ties to the pack through Jacob, and her father. Paul had seemed to be the only one standing in opposition to Jacob's proposition. At least – he had been the only one open about it. Jared had remained silent, though Kim had drawn closer to Paul and Kitty, a silent show of support. Emily had sat near Sam, a hand on his shoulder.
It had left Alex, Jared and Embry standing silently together, but when Jacob and Sam had looked to Embry and Jared, the two had separated; Embry to stand with Sam, Jared with Paul, a torn expression on his usually jovial face.
Of course, it wasn't a true debate. The Alpha had already made up his mind, and Alex knew that the shows of defiance from Paul and Jared were just that; shows. Alex couldn't blame them for their view – Bella was asking them to put themselves between her and a clearly bloodthirsty and relentless vampire, running the risk of leaving their home and hearts undefended.
When Sam had put his foot down, rising from his seat, Paul and Jared sighing in defeat – Kim and Kitty had turned to each other, making some kind of silent agreement between themselves. Whatever had happened between her sister and Paul had seemed to come to a tentative peace, and though Kitty had tensed when Paul had pressed a kiss to her forehead, she had still stood by him.
Her sister had beckoned her over to where she was standing with Kim and Emily. The men had moved outside to the porch, and even from here Alex could see Paul's scowl as he responded to whatever Sam was saying.
"We need to stay safe ourselves." Kitty had said, face tight.
"That means staying in one place for a while, staying together makes it easier to stay safe." Kim was matter of fact, no-nonsense, busy typing on her phone as she spoke. "I'm telling my mum I'm staying with Emily for a while."
"Are you sure?" Alex had asked Emily, who was looking drawn and white, a far cry from the solid support she'd displayed by Sam's side. Alex realised Emily wasn't in favour of the idea either, but had remained by Sam's side anyway. Instinctively, Alex had thrown her arms around the elder woman.
"I'm sure. I don't want to be alone." Emily had said in a whisper. The other two girls had drawn in closer at her words, and they stood in an awkward group huddle until Jared had ducked inside. He had looked a little guilty at interrupting, clearing his throat and announcing that they were headed out, and that they were all to stay inside until one of them returned.
And that had been that. The Pack had disappeared into the night, Emily had regained her surety, Kitty her pep, Kim her enthusiasm, and Alex was left almost dizzy at the abrupt change in mood as the other women moved around getting the house ready for the new guests they'd be having.
Alex had been given the small guest room to share with Kitty, and though her sister had fallen asleep quickly in the small bed they'd squashed themselves into, Alex had lingered awake until the first rays of the morning began to light up the wood panelling.
She sighed, and sat up.
She needed to call Quil, explain why she'd need to abandon their plans for the first week of Spring Break. They'd been planning to head up to Seattle on Tuesday, but it didn't look like she'd be let out of Emily and Kitty's sight.
God, Quil was going to hate her.
Alex slipped out of bed, wiggling her way out from Kitty's octopus embrace and tip-toed down the hallway. The house quiet, with no sign that any of the boys had returned, and Alex felt herself frown at the notion. They'd be so exhausted.
She was unsurprised to find Emily in the kitchen.
"Morning, Em."
Emily jumped, letting out a small squeak and whirling. "Alex! Do not scare me like that." Alex grinned at her, waltzing closer to look over Emily's shoulder. She was icing cupcakes, though Alex could note that Emily's usually steady hand had obviously wobbled and she frowned.
"Did you get any sleep?" She asked the older woman, moving back to properly look at Emily. Emily looked pale and drawn, and Alex frowned at the sight. "Emily…"
"I should be asking you the same question, Alex." Emily squinted at her.
"You saying I look like shit?" Alex asked, turning to pull out the bottle of orange juice from the fridge. She took a swig, ignoring Emily's pointed sigh. "Because I certainly feel like shit. And now I've got to go be a shit and cancel on Quil."
Emily tutted. "Poor Quil. He's got to be close now, right?" She pursed her lips, looking concerned. "I hate to think of him all alone out there."
Alex shrugged. "I don't know. He seemed fine the last time I saw him." She didn't want to think about Quil being dragged into all this mess. "But you're right. It sucks. Big time." Alex took another long drink, and jumped up to perch atop the kitchen counter. Emily clicked her tongue disapprovingly at her, but didn't force her down, and Alex made sure to keep her legs out of the way as Emily bustled around the kitchen.
Kim and Kitty surfaced around the time Alex decided it was a reasonable hour to call Quil, and as the two women joined Emily's final breakfast prep, she headed over to Emily's house phone, and leant against the yellow wall, waiting for Quil to pick up.
"Hello, Joy Ateara speaking."
"Hey, Joy – it's Alex, is Quil at home?" Alex waited for Quil's mother's response, not disappointed at the jolly woman's happy laugh.
"Oh, hello dear! I haven't heard from you in a while! I hear you and Quil have plans to head to Seattle this week!"
Alex grimaced. "Well that's just it, Joy – I think I'm going to have to cancel. I've got relatives coming to town, and my family's making me stick around to see them."
"That's too bad." Joy sounded genuinely disappointed. "I know Quil was looking forward to it. he's become a regular shut-in recently, all grumpy and quiet. Well, I'll call him for you."
"Wait – Joy, what do you mean grumpy?" Alex asked, but Joy was already yelling Quil's name faintly, unable to hear her. From the kitchen, Kim had turned and was looking at her a little suspiciously, and she smiled awkwardly, turning away a little.
"Yo. 'Lex." Quil's voice was deeper than she remembered, and she winced.
"Sup, dude. What's up?"
"Not much, but I reckon I'm getting sick. Cannot wait for the holidays." Quil bemoaned. Alex felt impossibly guilty as he sighed. "I fucking broke my board yesterday too, so we're gonna need to pick a new one up before we go."
"Shit man." Alex said, pressing her head a little harder into the wall. "I wish I didn't have to do this but-"
"Oh no." Quil's voice wavered and Alex could just picture his distraught expression. "Please, please don't tell me you're flaking on me. My dad's driving me fucking crazy! Keeps talking about some bullshit; upcoming responsibility and doing what's right – I just want to get out of here."
Alex knew she had to cancel, knew she had to do the right thing – stay away from Quil for his own safety – but she didn't want to abandon him again. She turned further away from the women in the kitchen, lowering her voice so they couldn't hear. "Quil, I'm sorry – I can't make Seattle, but I promise I'll come to see you this week. I'm on lockdown at home, my family's here – but I'll come, okay." Quil was silent. "Quil, I'm sorry. We'll do Seattle, I promise – but just not this week." And not until that blood-sucking bitch was caught.
"Yeah. Right." Quil said shortly. "I'll see you round, Alex." He hung up, and Alex groaned, slamming the phone back into its cradle with a little more force than necessary.
"Is everything okay?" Kitty was looking at her curiously and Alex nodded, forcing a smile onto her face.
"Peachy keen." She responded. Her sister looked unconvinced but didn't press the issue, beckoning her to the table instead.
Kim sighed, checking her watch over her bowl of muesli. "Shit, I'm going to be late."
Alex frowned. "You're still going to work?"
Kitty nodded. "We both are. As long as we stay together at night, we should be fine." She sighed, rubbing a hand over her face. "As much as Paul wants to deny it, I can't afford to just stop working."
Emily raised an eyebrow, "How did that talk with him go?"
Alex looked between the two women, feeling a little left out, and when Kitty cleared her throat, looking a little guilty, she realised she had probably not been included on purpose. "It was fine. Let's talk about it later." Kitty said, pulling an unconvincing smile onto her face.
Alex set down her knife and fork. "I'm going out."
"Stay close to the house, okay?" Emily said.
"But Kim and Kitty are going to work!" Alex jabbed a finger accusingly at the two women sitting at the table still. Kim blinked at her over the rim of her mug, looking distinctly unimpressed and Kitty just looked guilty again. Emily remained unmoved, slowly crossing her arms in a movement reminiscent of Sam. "Ugh! Fine, whatever."
She left without saying goodbye, jogging down the porch steps, tugging on her jacket as she went, heading for the beach. It wasn't too cold, and when she hit the sand, she paused to toe off her shoes, tucking them and her jacket in the fork of an old weather-beaten tree, made smooth by the ocean air.
Alex made a beeline for the water.
She sat – flopped, really – onto the damp sand close to the waves, and stretched out her legs, feet just in reach of the gentle surf lapping at the shore. The water was freezing where the air was not, and she shivered a little at the uncomfortable sensation, casting her gaze out to sea.
And she breathed.
The bruise on her back still ached a little – yet it felt as if the explosive fight between her and Jacob had happened weeks ago, rather than days – and she wondered if their tentative peace would last. Of course, she couldn't quite tell – given that he'd been occupied with Bella whenever they were in the same room.
Bella. Isabella Swan.
Alex turned her name over in her mouth, said it aloud twice, and wondered. Was it cruel of her to wonder what drew them to her? Jacob, Edwin – Edward, whatever his name was – even the boys that had been sat around the beach fire that day. She was pretty, Alex could see it, pretty in a delicate way.
Maybe that was it. Perhaps the appeal of something to treasure, to protect, drew them in like flies to honey. Alex snorted at herself. "Poetic." She said to the water. "This is pathetic." It was. Dissecting the affections of others was hardly something a sane person did. "I don't even care."
A lie.
Yes, she did care. She cared what happened to the others, and if Bella was the reason – well.
And maybe, just maybe, she cared a little that Jacob had leapt so readily back into friendship with this girl, had readily offered the rest of the Pack as protection, as collateral. Alex couldn't help the uneasy unfurling of something a lot like dislike in her gut as she thought more about the other girl.
It wouldn't do anyone any good to spark an issue. Besides, Bella had always been… nice. Alex grimaced. Pleasant.
"Alexandra!"
Alex turned, brow creasing. It was as if she'd managed to summon the very person she'd been thinking about. Bella was coming down the beach towards her, hands balled into her sweater's pockets, head bowed a little as if it was windy. "Speak of the devil." Alex muttered, and got to her feet as Bella began to head down towards the water. Absently, she brushed down the back of her jeans, getting rid of as much sand as she could. "Hey, Bella. What, um, what are you doing here?" Alex tried to sound pleasant, even smiling at the shorter girl.
Bella smiled slightly. "Jake thought it would be best if I stayed in La Push. He thought it would be safer."
"Did he?" Alex muttered. Safer for who, exactly? She did her best to keep the smile on her face. "Well, he's probably right. Safety in numbers and all that."
"I suppose so." Bella said, and then was promptly silent. Alex swayed slightly on her feet, waiting for the girl to keep the conversation going. After a long moment, it became clear that that was all Bella had to say.
Bella looked lost, eyes darting between the sand, surf and Alex's face, almost as if she didn't want to make eye contact. Alex sighed. "Did you wanna walk up to the rocks with me? There's some cool rockpools up there. Maybe some crabs."
Bella's nose wrinkled a little. "Crabs? They freak me out."
Alex nodded. "I can see that. I think they're pretty cute though, with their little," she brought her thumb and fingers together in an approximation of crab claws clicking together, waddling a few steps sideways in a crab-walk.
"Yes, I suppose so." Bella said again, and Alex nearly passed out from resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Bella looked around Alex, squinting into the distance. "Which way are they?"
"A ten-minute walk that way." Alex nodded towards the coast in front of them. Bella nodded, and fell into step beside her.
Ten minutes turned into twenty – Alex had forgotten to factor in Bella's short legs and incredible lack of coordination. If Bella had laughed too, then maybe it wouldn't have been so annoying but when Bella had stumbled over nothing and nearly faceplanted to Alex's peals of laughter the first time, without reaction, or a shared smile, Alex had realised they were in for a long walk.
Alex slowed her pace deliberately as they neared the beginning of the rock formations, where rocks really were hiding beneath the sands, ready to trip up unsuspecting beach dwellers. Alex had lost two toenails to these particular rocks and called to Bella. "Just watch your step here, there's heaps of rocks under the sand."
"Sure, I'll keep an eye-out." Bella said, with a small smile – and then tripped over a hidden stone. She went down completely this time, hands coming up to stop her face hitting the sand. Alex bit down hard on the inside of her cheeks to stop herself laughing, hurrying towards the fallen girl.
"Shit, are you alright?" She crouched beside Bella, offering the elder her hand. Bella took it, and Alex hauled her to her feet. Bella was pink in the cheeks and had sand all up her front.
"I'm fine." She said, ducking her gaze, and hurriedly brushing at her clothes. "I can't stand getting sand in my clothes, I don't know how you do it. It feels so gross and dirty." Alex looked down at her own sandy pants, and surreptitiously ran her hands over the denim to dislodge as much as she could. "Are we nearly there?" Bella asked, voice taking on a suspiciously whiny tone. "I thought you said ten minutes."
"I did." Alex said, huffing a little. "We're here." She gestured at the lower pools. There was no way she was going to attempt to help Bella climb up the rocks to where the best pools were. Poor thing. Alex wondered what she would do if she was unable to ride a skateboard, or surf, or like, walk in a straight line without incident. "Follow me." Alex led the way this time, taking care to pick through the sand and avoid rocks. Thankfully, they made it to the edge of one of the largest pools without incident, and as Bella took a seat gingerly on the edge, Alex jumped up to walk around the rim, squatting over the edge with her back to the sea. She could feel the faintest spray of sea foam in her position, and tugged her shirt down from where it was riding up over her back.
The rock-pool was deeper than it looked, and Alex felt the urge to shove her head down into the clear water to see what was hiding. Seaweed, tiny micro-organisms, sand, shells – a whole miniaturized eco system, changed every day by the lowering and raising of the tide.
"A fish!" Alex cried a little loudly, catching a glimpse of a small silver and yellow creature swimming frantically to hide behind another clump of seaweed. "I wonder what type."
"I don't really know much about ocean life." Bella said, and when Alex looked at her, she saw that the other girl – though clearly leaning away from the pool, was at least making an effort to join her in her enthusiasm. Alex smiled.
"That's alright, me either. I'll look it up when we get back. I'm just surprised – I only ever see crabs and anemones in these pools." Alex peered a little closer. "He must be lost."
"Lost and alone." Bella said, with unusual gravity, and Alex watched as her features took on a far away expression, arms coming up almost unconsciously to tighten around her middle. "I know how that feels."
Alex wanted to laugh again, but held her tongue. She shouldn't laugh – even if it felt a little over-dramatic. What did she know about losing love? Nothing. She could hardly imagine what it felt like – but clearly the breakup had hurt Bella in an irreversible way, despite Jacob's obvious hopes to the contrary. She wondered if Bella knew how Jacob felt about her. "I'm sorry." She told the other girl. "I don't know what it's like, but it must suck."
"Suck." Bella echoed, a touch of disbelief on her face. "Sure, that's one way to put it." she sounded almost offended, and Alex wondered what she had said to upset the other girl. They fell back into an uncomfortable silence.
Alex didn't really feel like looking for crabs anymore, whatever dark mood Bella had found herself in making her feel guilty for even trying to enjoy her day. If it wasn't for Bella, she wouldn't have been trapped here.
"Bella! Bells! Oh – Alex."
Both of them had looked up at the call of Bella's name, Alex easily recognizing Jacob's large form loping towards them. The flame in her chest ignited with a sudden and fierce passion, and she physically twitched, nearly losing her balance on the edge of the pool. Bella stood, moving towards Jacob with surprising speed considering her pace earlier.
He wrapped her in a hug, her stumbling – she supposed, endearingly – into his chest, and she looked away as nausea rose in her throat.
Stop. Just stop.
She wished her body would respond to her rational mind, and hopped backwards off the pool, landing in the water and splashing water up her calves. She sloshed to shore, as Jacob separated from Bella and looked at her. "You guys were hanging out."
"That's one way to put it." Alex said a little meanly, echoing Bella's dismissive words. Bella looked a little caught out, and ducked her head.
Jacob frowned at her. "Well that's… nice." Then he turned to Bella, and it was if she had ceased to exist, as he leant closer to touch Bella's hand. "I'm sorry I haven't been around as much. If I could-"
"It's okay, Jake, I know you have a lot on your plate. I feel safer just knowing you're out there. It's okay." Bella said softly, and Alex set her sights on the higher rock pools.
Despite her resolution to ignore the sheer turmoil – artificial though it was – that their Imprint connection was going through as Jacob interacted with Bella, Alex couldn't deny that turning her mind to other things, turning her mind away from the love-sickening scene in front of her helped a little. She grasped the rough rocks, and hauled herself up bodily, paying no mind to the rough scrape against her knees and shins as she scrabbled for a foot hold. When she had gathered herself atop the rocks, Jacob and Bella had separated slightly, Bella leaning into him. She was reminded briefly of sunflowers – the way they turned towards the sun.
"You right there?" Jacob sounded amused, and the way his eyes sparkled suddenly reminded Alex of his easy smile. Before all this.
She grinned at him. All teeth, no joy. He didn't seem to notice the difference. "I'll stick around here for a while. You guys go ahead and…hang." She finished lamely.
Jacob nodded, Bella looking a little relieved at the easy dismissal. Alex pretended she wasn't rankled. "Alright, Alex. I'll see you later?"
Alex shrugged. "I guess. I am on house arrest after all." It wasn't meant as a direct insult but Bella looked a little sheepish anyway. Good. Alex thought vindictively. At least she knows.
Jacob perked up. "Oh! See any crabs?"
Alex smiled for real now, shaking her head ruefully. "Unfortunately not. No snappy-babies."
Jacob raised his hands, doing an exact replica of her crab imitation earlier, albeit mournfully. "Sad. It's probably too early in the season."
"Probably." Alex said, and was about to tell him she'd keep an eye out, when Bella's hand snaked into Jacob's left.
"Jakey, can we head back? I'm freezing." Alex wasn't sure if Bella had shivered deliberately, or if it had just been perfect timing – but Jacob was distracted anyway – a faintly besotted look overtaking his face as he steered her away. They left without a goodbye, and Alex stared after them until she realised she was staring, blinking rapidly and turning her head away.
It wasn't her business. She didn't care. She didn't care.
Bella Swan became a constant in La Push.
Alex woke the next morning, hoping to descend on her breakfast and make for the beach again, but found Bella sitting at the kitchen table, drinking orange juice that Alex knew she'd staked her claim on, and chatting happily to Emily.
Alex mulishly took a seat across from Bella, next to Emily, and helped herself to the pile of bacon. "Morning."
"Good morning, chicken." Emily greeted.
"Morning, Alexandra." Bella said causally, before re-engaging Emily in whatever they had been talking about before Alex had arrived. Kitty and Kim were long gone; Kim's job at the Fork's bookstore, and Kitty's position at the kindergarten in town requiring them both to be gone before nine – and Alex had gotten out of bed at eleven. As Emily stood, collecting both her and Bella's plates, Alex had a sudden stomach dropping realisation that she was going to be alone. And not just for the day.
When Emily and Bella headed outside, bound for Emily's lovingly tended vegetable patch, Alex felt a distinct wave of displacement, a strange nauseous mix of loneliness and frustration. She stood, her movement jostling the table, and looked to the woods. She was longing, longing for something inexplicable, and it only took a moment of deliberation before she was on the move again.
Alex skipped Emily's front steps with her usual jump and skip, heading towards the trees, pulled by a feeling she couldn't explain. She ducked beneath the canopy with a distinct feeling of relief, and walked onwards.
And then she wasn't alone anymore.