Herb hears Bojack come home one afternoon and fully expects him to come up to his office to greet him. But what he doesn't expect is the force with which the door is slammed open. He jumps with a yelp and narrowly avoids spilling coffee all over his new computer when Bojack strides inside and announces himself.

"You're looking at the new face of Seaborn brand seahorse milk!"

Herb closes his netbook slowly and cocks his head to the side, "What the hell is seahorse milk?"

Bojack scoffs and waves his hand dismissively, "I don't know, some kelp-based juice in a bottle I think. Does it really matter?"

Herb gives him a smirk, happy his husband was excited about the job, but not above a little teasing. "I thought jobs like that were 'below you'."

Bojack smirks back and points at the other man, "They are. But I heard Mr. Peanutbutter was interested in this one so I went down to the studio lot and stole it out from under him. I mean, you should at least have a land-horse advertising a sea-horse brand right? What does a dog know about sea horse milk?"

Herb can't help but laugh, "What do you know about seahorse milk?"

"All I know is that I'm trusting Seaborn for all my aquatic based dairy needs from now on." Bojack proudly boasts, gripping the lapels of his jacket.

Herb rolls his eyes and closes his laptop. "I really don't understand why you still hold a grudge against that guy BJ."

He shakes his head, "I'll never be over it Herb. That guy is as much of a cheap knock off of me, as his show was a cheap knock off of Horsin Around."

Herb counts on his fingers, "A: That show was never his fault. And B: both shows ended over a decade ago!"

Bojack sneers and crosses his arms, "Yeah, and Mr. Peanutbutter was there for the last six years to snatch up all the roles I wasn't being offered anymore after we were outed."

Herb frowns, "BJ… You can't actually believe that. You were both in completely different acting fields when-"

"Also he's just plain annoying. You can't deny that you think it too!"

"Uh, well, that's not really-"

The horse crosses his arms angrily, "And what's with him letting that Todd kid sleep on his couch? He's been there for months, is he ever gonna leave?"

"What does Todd have to do with-?"

Bojack raises his voice to a shout, "And why don't you ever agree with me that he sucks? You always make excuses for him!"

Herb puts his hands up defensively, "Okay, okay I get it! Touchy subject…"

Bojack winces at his own outburst and fidgets uncomfortably, looking ashamed. "I'm sorry Herb. He's just so…. fake nice you know? And he always pretends we're somehow best friends whenever I see him?" He sighs, "Whenever I'm around him I feel on edge, like there's some big joke that everyone's in on but me..."

The office is quiet and Herb stands to approach him. "Oh, BJ… That's-"

Bojack shot up straight, "Anyway! That's a talk for my therapist." He laughed nervously, desperate to change the topic. "The point is, I'm gonna be in a bunch of undersea commercials! Yay!"

Herb offered a weak smile. "That sounds great baby."

"And Mr. Peanutbutter won't be."

Herb frowned.

"Scripts should be two words! Pretty Woman. Beautiful Girls. Private Parts."

"Well then you might not like this one..."

Princess Carolyn found herself in the same place she'd been for the last fourteen years. Standing in Marv's office and watching him repeatedly throwing scripts that she took the weekend to read and recommend to him into the ceiling fan where she could actually watch her hard work be shredded into pieces in real-time.

"There Will Be Blood" didn't seem to make the cut.

She sighs as the tattered remains of the script showered her, "This last one is really special. It's a TV pilot from a veteran sitcom writer named Cuddlywhiskers called… hmm… Mitch's Life."

Marv's expression brightened, "Now there's a title!"

"I think if we attach the right talent, this could be a hit!"

He leaned back in his seat and clasps his hands. "Hmm, is Ron Silver still alive?"

"Uh, I'm not sure… Oh! But you know who'd be great?" She leans forward excitedly and taps the cover for emphasis, "Bojack Horseman."

Marv laughed, "Bojack? Oh, PC don't make me laugh. Because I have a heart condition and it could kill me! He hasn't worked on anything bigger than a guest spot in years."

Princess Carolyn held the script close to her chest, "I think they'd be happy to have him! Cuddlywhiskers himself is a former substance abuse victim just like Bojack. And the central plot is about giving up vices to pursue a happier life, even if it's hard. Bojack's a shoo in!"

He sighs and shakes his head sadly, tapping his cigar out in his ashtray as he spoke, "Princess Carolyn, you're living in a fantasy world. I'll admit, I thought Bojack's career was done the day those photos came out. But a role like this? Too much, too fast. Audiences would never accept it. Hell, Bojack wouldn't accept it!" He shouts, throwing his hands up, "Everything big we offer him he shoots down!"

Princess Carolyn felt her heart drop, "But Marv, I think-"

Marv waves his hands around, "Bup bup bup, enough about Bojack PC. Now, do I get you coffee and pick up your dry cleaning? And buy you peek-a-boo negligees for strange women you saw at the train station once?"

She purses her lips and discreetly digs her nails into the thick script's pages. "No."

"Then how about you don't do my job, and I don't do your job?"

She forces a smile, "You know, I would like to be an agent someday..."

He swirls around in his chair to put his back to her, "Sure sure, someday. But for now, you're learning from the greats. Mark my words. The best agent in the world couldn't get that joker to agree to a starring role again!"

"Bojack! How's my boss's favorite client?"

"Uh pretty good since I talked to you yesterday about seahorse milk. What's up?"

She talks fast, eager to blow through the practiced routine they'd set up in the past months. One where she introduces him to new a project, then he decides within a second whether or not he wants to do it without hearing all the details, and then doubles down and refuses to even entertain the idea until she finds him something more "his speed". A typecasting she has yet to decipher.

"A couple of scripts came in last week and I read this one that I think would be a great fit for you!"

She can practically see the anxiety on his face as she talks.

On the other side of the phone, Bojack cringes and rubs at the back of his neck. "I… I don't know Princess Carolyn. I've got a lot going on now that I landed that Seaborn gig. I'm not sure I have the time for a role like that."

A whine edges its way into her voice, "But I'm telling you its a real stand out! A drama about a depressed, alcoholic, addict who turns his life around through emotional hard work and perseverance. It's a perfect fit for you! And it was written by a former alcoholic himself, a sitcom writer named Cuddlywhiskers. He's been to rehab, you've been to rehab, you'll have so much to talk about!"

"Talk about?"

She pretends not to notice the accusatory tone shift. "Sure! I mean, the main character does go to rehab in the show. You two could talk about that, you've already got a foot in the door Boj!"

"Talk to who?"

She's sweating now. "The writer! Cuddlywhiskers!"

"Where?"

She coughs lightly, "At the meeting I set up between you two at his house on Thursday?"

Bojack's heart leaps into his throat, "What!? You haven't even told me the title, but you set up a meeting without my permission?"

"Because I thought you'd just say no right away!"

"Yeah, that's sound reasoning. You thought I'd say no so you went ahead and did it anyway." Bojack huffs.

Princess Carolyn rubs her temples, "Are you just going to keep doing commercials for the rest of your life? Or do you actually want to act again?"

Bojack was quiet for a long moment. "...PC are you sure about this? I haven't gotten an offer like this in… years."

"Bojack, listen to me, this role was meant for you."

"I'll… think about it."

She jumps up from her desk, "Thats not good enough Bojack! I need you to do this for me. Marv already doesn't respect my opinions, if I can get you to take this job, then he'll have to admit I'm agent material!"

"Oooooh, now I see what this is about." Bojack complains, the irritation evident in his voice now.

"It's about a lot of things!" She says defensively.

"PC I'm not gonna accept a job to star in a TV show as a favor to you. That's a huge commitment!"

"Of course not! I just want you to meet with Cuddlywhiskers to discuss the show. No commitment, just a meeting."

He groans, "I… should talk to Herb about it first probably. Yeah, yeah, need to talk husband first. Uh, this is a, big thing, and he should definitely know about it."

Princess Carolyn knows him well enough to know that "a talk with Herb" is never going to happen, and her calls will just be ignored until the offer expires. But she has one last trick up her sleeve…

She sighs heavily, "Alright Bojack... If you really feel that strongly about staying with the same low impact roles you've been doing. Then I can't make you take this meeting." She puts on a sad voice to really nail it home, "I'll see if I can get you a one-episode guest spot on a season one finale of a show that airs on Monday nights. Or maybe I'll try and find you a local commercial gig for 'Mane and Tail' that they'll air for a month before moving on to another campaign..."

"Oh, um… okay." She can hear the uncertainty creep into his voice. Time for the finishing blow.

She sighs again for dramatic effect, "I guess I'll just have to call my friend Vanessa Gekko over at FME and tell her her client Mr. Peanutbutter has all but got the part."

Bojack chokes slightly over the line and she pauses, a smile forming on her face.

He makes a small strangled noise in his throat before speaking up. "Wait."

Got him.

Bojack excitedly paces around the bedroom Thursday night as Herb watches from the bed, book in hand.

"And then, Cuddlywhiskers said, 'What if we stop thinking of TV as a conduit to tell stories, and started thinking about it as a conduit to tell truths?' And I was like, Damn, this guy must have gone to Yale or something!'"

Herb smiles warmly at the horse and puts down "Water For Elephants", "So, you're gonna do the show?"

Bojack hesitates, "Nah. Timing's really off right now. I've got to go underseas next month, iPhone's coming out later this year so I need time to gear up for that..."

He trails off into the silence of the room and looks back at the bed in time to see Herb drag his hands down his face and sigh.

"BJ… you haven't stopped talking about this show since you came home." He gets out of bed and approaches the horse, groaning, "You keep turning down any role larger than an endorsement. Why won't you just do this? Give me one good reason."

"Because his show sounds incredible! And what if... I'm not?" Bojack slumps down onto the edge of the bed and puts a hand to his face, closing his eyes to avoid looking at Herb. He hated this feeling, the one that comes after he lets himself be emotionally vulnerable with people. The gnawing itch that he's made himself a burden.

"If I take this job, it'll be the first major thing I've done since we got outed."

Herb puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. "BJ, that was seven years ago, you've done things since then."

"Not really. There's just this huge crater in my career. In my life. Where nothing happened, hell I was in a severe depression for like three straight years after that." He shakes his head, "All that time, just gone, wasted. And I'll never get it back, it's too late."

Herb stays quiet and sits down beside him.

"I try to stay upbeat, I try to get excited. But I'm so sick of doing these little piddly guest spots and commercials. Nobody wants the real me to work for them; they just want the novelty of having 'the horse from Horsin Around' or 'the guy who played secretariat' or 'that guy who got outed' on their project." He sighs deeply and slides down to lean on his knees, "What if I'm not good enough? What if there's a reason I don't usually get offers like this anymore?"

Herb says slowly, "Bojack, these are a lot of big questions. But do you want to know my honest opinion?"

The horse looks up at him.

"You are amazing. You're bright, and funny, and smart, and talented, and charming, and you can do this. You know why?

Bojack smirks at him, "Because I'm 'BJ Goddamn Horseman?'"

Herb's cheeks flush, "Shut up... But yes."

Bojack laughs and Herb continues, "The point is, you have the skills and the acting experience, and Cuddlywhiskers likes you! If the writer thinks you're a good fit, I say trust that."

TWO MONTHS LATER

Bojack laughs nervously as he waits for the coffee to be done, "I didn't sleep at all last night, too pumped for today's table read."

Herb yawns as he props his head up on his hands on the counter, "Pumped or anxious?"

"I can be both." He says defensively.

Herb smiles fondly at him, "I'm sure it'll go great."

He sighs, "Yeah, it's just these things are always so nerve wracking y'know? You've gotta sit there and perform for these people like some kind of- "

"Professional actor?"

"Very funny." Bojack pouts as he crosses his arms. "By the way, I wanted to, thank you."

"Oh?"

"Thank you for convincing me to do this. And for putting up with me for the past few weeks, and… years." He plays with his hands as he talks, "I know I haven't been the easiest person to be around, during this whole thing..."

He trails off and Herb is left waiting for the end of the sentence. He raises his eyebrows and leans over the counter towards the horse, who now appears to be lost deep in thought.

"Baby?"

Bojack turns to him suddenly and leans across the divide himself, placing his hand on top of Herb's. "Promise me everything's gonna be okay today."

Herb squeezes Bojack's hand and smiles, "BJ, I promise, everything is gonna be great.

"They said the show will be, 'as big as Horsin Around'. I mean, doesn't that bother you?"

"... No?" Herb squeaked out, completely flabbergasted by his husband's heel-turn opinion about the show since his table read. Since the moment he stepped back into the house, he was ranting.

Bojack spun around and gestured in the air, "Herb the network executives liked it! Don't you think that that might be a clue that we're playing it too safe?"

"Executives were the ones that greenlit Horsin Around Bojack..."

"Exactly!" he pointed dramatically at the other man, "Cuddlywhiskers and I wanted to do something different, something real. And now all we're doing is something that's gonna be "just as good as Horsin Around"."

Herb rubbed at his temples, "so… you don't want the executives to like it?"

"No!" His response is so childish Herb half expected him to stamp his foot along with it.

He sighed exasperatingly, "BJ, why would they buy it if they didn't like the damn thing?"

That actually seemed to successfully shove a stick through the spokes of the runaway wheel of anxiety and frustration that was currently spinning through the horse's head. "Uh…um…..huh." He just stood there in the middle of the living room, visibly having lost his steam and with no idea where to redirect his emotions now.

Herb gestured to an empty place on the couch and Bojack silently dropped down beside him and whined. "Why did I do this? Why did I think I could act again? This is why I didn't want to do another show. Everything was perfect before-"

Herb claps a hand on his shoulder. "BJ. Calm down."

He flinches slightly at Herb's tone but stops talking nonetheless. Pushing his hands under his legs to keep from fidgeting with them.

"Bojack, you're blowing things out of proportion because you're afraid." The horse opens his mouth to say something more but clamps it shut when he sees how serious Herb looks. "And don't say you're not because I have known you for 22 years and I know how you get when you're scared of things."

Herb closes his eyes takes a deep breath, "Listen, I can't promise you everyone's gonna love this show. I can't promise you that people won't treat it like 'Horsin Around 2' just because you're in it. But what I do know is that no matter what, people will remember it, and they'll remember you. This show is good, BJ. It's real, and edgy, and different. And only you could've given it that power and pulled it off."

He opens his eyes back up to see tears welling in Bojack's. Paired with a deeply touched and strained expression on his face as he tries to keep the tears from falling. He fails, and soon he's being pulled into Herb's arms, and sobbing into his shoulder. Herb squeezed him tight and gently rubbed his back until his sobs turned into sniffles and he pulled back enough to settle himself against Herb's chest.

"Do you really think that?" He asked in his tight 'post-crying' voice.

Herb kissed him right between his eyes on his star marking and gave him a small smile. "I do."

Bojack gave him a big wavering smile and looked like he might cry again, but more of a happy cry. Suddenly he cringes hard, and looks ashamed of himself. "I... I kinda said some mean things to Princess Carolyn earlier when I was freaking out."

Herb furrows his brow, "What did you say?"

Bojack starts to fidget a little under his gaze. "I uh… said I didn't want her opinion," His voice gets progressively more quiet and mumbly as he explains himself, "And that um… her opinion didn't matter because she's just an assistant….. And uh, that I'd let her know if someone needed a coffee…..."

Herb's jaw drops in shock. "...Why the hell would you say that to her?"

"Because she was right, but I was scared and I didn't want to hear it. So I lashed out, and pushed her away, and now she's never gonna want to talk to me again." He answers sadly and matter of factly. Like he's already come to peace with the self conceived notion that he was now permanently down one friend from the already small pool of people he was okay being around for an extended period of time.

Herb takes a second to collect himself and groans lightly, running a hand down his face, "Okay… that's a discussion for your therapist I think. But for now, I think you should apologize."

He burrows his face deeper into Herb's chest, "What if she doesn't forgive me?"

Herb wrinkles his nose as he thinks, "I hate to say this BJ, but I think Princess Carolyn is willing to put up with a lot. And don't get me wrong, what you said to her was shitty. But I feel like she's the forgiving type."

Bojack looks back up at him, "You think?"

Despite trying to remain stern, Herb can't help but smile at the horse. "Yeah."

He's talking to one of the actors from "Lost" when Herb gently touches his arm and in a low voice says, "Princess Carolyn's here Hun."

Bojack turns his head to see that his new agent was indeed at the party. She stood on the deck, cotton candy in hand, and looking a little uncomfortable. She was the mirror to Bojack himself in that moment. He made his way over to her and hoped he didn't look as awkward as he felt.

"Princess Carolyn! I wasn't sure you'd come."

She shrugged with a small smile. "Well, I figured since I'm your agent I should at least show up to your premiere party."

"I uh, I'm sorry I haven't called or checked in or anything in a while. Y'know, I've been kind of busy lately."

"Yeah. I figured you'd call me if you needed a coffee."

"Ouch." He laughed weakly, "Hey I already apologized for that."

She smirked. "I know."

Bojack rubbed at the back of his neck and Princess Carolyn averted her gaze to her cotton candy as a heavy lull settled into the conversation.

She cleared her throat, "So! Big premiere tonight! Very exciting."

He smiled. "Yeah I haven't been on TV for real since Horsin Around. After tonight, it's no more, 'Hey aren't you the Horse from Horsin Around?' It'll be 'Hey, aren't you the horse from Mitch's Life?''" He laughs again, but more nervously this time, his anxiety shining through the thin veneer of control he wore like a suit of armor.

She smiles up at him and reaches out to pat his arm, "I'm happy for you Bojack. And hey, for what it's worth, I always liked the Horse from Horsin Around."

He looks surprised. "You did?"

Now it's her turn to laugh, "Of course, everyone did." She gives him another pat before going inside with everybody else, as the show aired in just five minutes.

He stood alone on the deck for a few more minutes, and just stared out into the valley. Then he took a deep breath, stuffed the rest of his cotton candy into his mouth, and went inside just in time to catch the cold open.

Newspaper and magazine headlines from Fall 2007

BOJACK HORSEMAN SEES CAREER RESURGENCE AS RATINGS SOAR ON CBS DRAMA

THE BOJACK BLESSING? HORSEMAN BRINGS INSTANT POPULARITY TO NEW DRAMA

"MITCH'S LIFE" SET TO BE THIS SEASON'S NUMBER ONE SHOW