Chapter 20: Broken
3 months later
"Would you like to tell me about Hatori-san now?" The therapist asked politely.
The mention of his name caused Erin's chest to tighten. She started scratching her hand, but then stopped and crossed her arms.
"Not really." She said curtly, avoiding her eye contact.
She had long grown tired of the small women who she called her therapist.
After the incident 3 months ago Erin never went home... no not home. She never went back to Shigure's house. After she was discharged from the hospital she went back to live with her aunt and her cousins.
It felt good to be with her cousins again. Her and her aunts relationship was civil, to say the least. She was polite to Erin and respected her space. But that was it. Her therapist said she had to give it time.
Time? What a funny thing to say she thought. As if time could make everything better. It had been 3 months since Hatori tore her heart out and she still couldn't fall asleep without crying first.
She paused her thoughts. Was it from the concussion she got? Because she could barely hold a train of thought anymore.
After she left Shigure's she went and moved in with her aunt and cousins... wait she already thought of that.
She placed her face in her hands to try to alleviate the headache forming.
She sighed trying to organize her thoughts. But all she could think about was how her life was finally looking up and now she was forced into therapy cause her aunt thought she needed it.
Well she probably did. But that wasn't the point.
"Erin, this will work better if you talk to me." She said.
Erin uncovered her face, and sat back up. She stared out the window. "I don't want to talk about him." She said quietly.
"Erin. You need to talk about it. I know he left. Do you know why he left?" She asked.
Erin looked at the floor, than at the ceiling, then finally back at the therapist. "I don't want to talk about him." She said flatly.
The therapist smiled. "Okay. Maybe tomorrow you'll feel up to talking about it."
Erin rolled her eyes. "Yeah maybe tomorrow." She said grabbing her bag and walking out.
As she walked out onto the street she saw a black car parked. Tears fell down her face. And she mentally cursed herself.
She saw some old women get into the black car and drive off. Erin wiped the tears away. She had to stop getting upset at all these triggers-as her therapist called them.
It just seemed everything reminded her of him. She missed him so much. Did he miss her? "Of course he doesn't. Why would he leave you if he would miss you." She said aloud. Great. Now she was talking to herself.
"Erin! Hey!
Erin looked to see Jirou jogging towards her. "Hey you're done early today." He said looking at her visible puffy eyes. "Rough day today?" He asked and Erin nodded.
"Still didn't want to talk about it?" He asked and Erin shook he head.
"Don't worry it'll get easier. Let's go home." Jirou said.
Erin walked behind him and followed his footsteps. It was a hot July day and the sun was beating down on them. Erin could hear all the cicadas chirping.
Her head hurt from the heat and she was tired. She wasn't fully healed yet.
There was nothing the doctors could do about her ribs. They would heal on their own. It was her head they were worried about. Apparently she suffered a really bad concussion. They said it would likely cause permanent damage. She would have trouble concentrating, irritability, and memory problems.
She was glad school was over, considering she could barely focus on a therapy session let alone a whole class.
And then there was the mental scars from years of physical and mental abuse. And then Hatori leaving her.
She kicked a rock. 'I'm a piece of work' she thought to herself sighing.
She could feel the heat making her irritable. It wasn't a long walk back home but it was long enough.
"It's too hot out." She complained dragging her feet.
"We're almost there." Jirou said patiently. He was used to dealing with the irritability.
She whined as she walked through the heat.
Finally they made it back and Erin was relieved. Now she could just hide up in her room for the rest of the day.
When she walked in her aunt and her had their daily conversation.
"How was it?" She would ask.
"Good." Erin would say before closing herself off in her room.
Erin plopped on her bed exhausted. Her head still hurt. She turned to see the small picture pinned on the wall beside her bed.
The picture of her and Hatori on her graduation day. She should throw it away. Why did she torture herself? Was it because it was her only reminder that he existed? That she didn't make up the whole thing?
She started to cry.
She was starting to forget what it was like have him. She started to forget the sound of his voice. The way he smiled and laughed.
It was all starting to phase into a distant memory.
"Hatori.." she whispered through the tears.
She couldn't do it. How can she handle this much heartbreak?
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Hatori sat at his desk going over paper work and medical files.
It was so quiet in his office. He debated on putting on some music to cut through the thick silence but decided against it.
He continued his work hoping to lose himself in the tedium of it all.
In the past three months all Hatori did was work. He took care of Akito, saw his regular patients, looked over files, and tried not to think about her.
Which was easier said than done.
He didn't go to Shigure's house anymore. Too much of her there to remind him.
He barely liked being in his own home, where they shared many memories.
He almost wish he could erase his own mind. It would be easier, living in blissful ignorance like Kana, or Momiji's mother.
He still didn't understand why Erin wouldn't want to forget. Why would she choose to be miserable? It just made no sense.
Of course everyone except for Shigure thinks her memories were erased...
SNAP!
Hatori looked down at his now broken pencil. He realized he had been pressing down on it as he was thinking.
He tossed the pieces into the waste basket as his door opened.
"Hari?" Momiji's voice called.
"In here." He deadpanned.
"Oh! There you are! I was looking for you!" He said cheerfully.
"I'm never anywhere else during the day." He said matter of factly.
"Hari, Tohru is making spicy soup tonight for dinner. I know that's your favorite we should go!" He said happily.
"No." He said going back to his work.
"But Hari Tohru made it for you." He whined.
"Tell her thank you but I can't. I won't go over there." He said flatly, hoping that ended the conversation.
"Please Hatori, please???" Momiji pleaded.
"Hatori! Please!" He heard Erin's voice scream in his memories. He clenched his fist.
"Momiji! No!" He yelled laying his fist down on his desk.
Momiji's face fell. Hatori felt bad about snapping on him. It wasn't Momiji's fault. He just couldn't do it. He couldn't see her room, be in that kitchen, or sit at that table. It was too painful.
"I just can't. Okay?" He sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.
Momiji nodded. "I'll bring you back leftovers." He said leaving.
Hatori went back to work. Momiji eventually brought the leftovers, and Hatori put them in the fridge.
It seemed Tohru had packed him extra as well. Sadly, he had no appetite at the moment. And as it got late he just went to bed without eating anything.
"Hatori?" Erin's voice called.
"I'm here." He called reaching out to her, but finding nothing. Where is she? Where was he?
He finally saw her hiding behind a rock. The ocean pounding the sand. He shown a light on her.
"You have to stop running off like this." He said sternly, trying to hide the worry in his voice.
She started crying. He didn't like to see her cry. He wanted to make it all better. He knelt down in front of her.
"What happened?" He asked softly reaching to move that stubborn piece of hair from her eyes.
She flinched like he had hurt her. "What happened? You left me that's what happened! I didn't want you to go and you did!" She yelled.
All of the sudden the bruises appear on her face, and he saw Akito punching and kicking her.
"Hatori! Please!" She screamed for help. He wanted to help her but he couldn't move... the bonds were tight he couldn't move. He just had to sit a listen to her scream.
"Stop!" He yelled sitting up. He looked around his room and sighed. It was just a dream. He looked down at his hands shaking.
'No sleeping doesn't help.' He thought covering his face in his hands.
It seemed all he could think about was him leaving her. He had never done anything harder in his life.
If actions could kill, than surely walking away from her while she screamed for him would've killed him. It did kill him.
There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't think of it. The way she looked when he glanced back at her.
What he would give just to be human and just run up to her and hold her and never let go.
But he wasn't. He was cursed. He was a monster.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
2 weeks later
Hatori closed his appointment book. Why was he always so busy? It had been busy around the main house.
After the incident with Kureno and Akito, and then Tohru taking that bad fall in the woods by Shigure's house, the whole house had been a buzz with gossip.
Hatori didn't care for any of it. None of it really affected him. So why should he care?
He had been worried about Tohru. But Shigure insisted she was fine and was leaving the hospital today.
He had offered to pick her up but Shigure just laughed. "No let Kyo do it. I think he has something he needs to talk about with her."
Hatori looked at the clock. Tohru has probably already been discharged. At least picking up Tohru would've given him something to do. He missed having a purpose.
He sighed and got up from his desk and walked outside for some fresh air.
Goodbye
Hatori froze in his tracks and dropped the medical file he'd been holding.
All of the sudden it felt like an a thousand pound weight was lifted off his shoulders, as the dragon spirit left his body.
The invisible blinders He always felt like he was wearing fell from him and he felt only himself in his mind. There were no other thoughts but his own. He felt empty and sad.
Thank you. Thank you for keeping that age old promise. The spirit told him as it left him.
The tears fell before he could stop them. He was crying.
He looked around as his mind cleared. Had anyone noticed him here crying? He took a deep breath and was amazed at how easier it was to breathe.
He was free. He was free.
He ran inside and called Shigure.
"Hatori." Shigure said answering the phone. He sounded like he'd been crying as well.
"Did the curse just-" Hatori started but couldn't finish the sentence.
"I think so." Shigure said in shock.
Hatori didn't know what else to say. As his mind finally was clear, all he saw was Erin's face and all his feelings for her washed over him. His human side was able to think freely without having an angry spirit crushing its thoughts.
She was out there, waiting for him. He needed to see her. He needed to hold her. His heart stopped at the thought.
He could hold her now. For as long as he wanted.
He almost dropped the phone. "Shigure.. I have to go.." he said flatly.
Shigure chuckled slightly. "Yes I'm sure there is someone you need to see." Shigure said hanging up the phone.
Hatori removed his medical coat, leaving him in his shirt and waistcoat, and ran out the door.
He had to see her.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
We're almost there! I'm sorry for emotionally breaking everyone last chapter lol
Sorry this one is short, next one will be long!