After so many months of celebration and the chaos of creating a country, building a foundation, fretting over a union, the streets are quieter than I expect. I dress simply, in black. Glad that I have no need for donning the coat of my Patriotism.
Angelica keeps glancing at me, her hand in mine as we stroll the streets, her teeth worrying her bottom lip, and I know that I am quieter than she is use to, but the morning weighs on me, or rather the nightmare and the concern in her eyes as she woke me this morning. There were no nightmares in the camp as we tended the wounded, counted the dead, negotiated, as we worked on a draft of basic governance, but then we had worked ourselves to exhaustion, when was there time for nightmares?
"John," she says quietly, her voice pulling me from the depth of my thoughts.
"Yes, my dearest, compassionate wife?" I reply, a grin turning my mouth.
"Don't fret over this morning. I trust you will tell me in time if you need to. Given what you've seen and done, there are bound to be bad memories. I'm here when you have need of me," she says.
I bring her hand to my lips and grace her palm with a kiss, noticing the flush that darkens her rich dark complexion. "I know. I have no doubt of your care for me."
She nods and then comes to a halt. We are standing before a dressmaker's shop, and there are christening gowns in the window. Her hand drops to the swell of our growing child. I smile at her nod toward the entrance. "Let's have a look, shall we?"
Her face lights up in delight as she leads me into the shop. We look at the gowns, and I follow as she takes inventory of the materials in the shop, inquiring prices, and time for delivery of infant and child clothing. As she talks with the shop owner, realization finally dawns on me. Within months I will be a father, there will be a child between us.
My thoughts turn to our modest house, good enough for us now, but we will need more space for the child on the way, space, and furnishings, security to provide for the family we intend to have. I swallow thickly at the thought, remember Alexander's proposal, professional partnership. I'm educated enough and can learn enough to work in proposing laws, and I know quite a bit about estate and property, topics my father deemed essential in my education up until I cut my ties and joined the Revolution.
I shake my head to clear it at the sound of Angelica calling out to me. I hold my elbow out to her, and she slips her arm through mine. "Did you order anything, or were you just inquiring?"
"Inquiring for now, though I like her work," Angelica replies and then sighs. "I am sorry if it seemed tedious."
My brow furrows, "Hmm? What no, I am enjoying our time together. I'm sorry I seemed lost in thought… It's just being in the shop, seeing tiny clothes and watching you handling the fabrics and asking after prices and expectation of time, it makes all of this so real."
"You had your hand over my belly for most of the night, and this is what makes it real?" she laughs in amusement.
I feel the heat rush up my neck and across my cheeks. "Not like that, just the preparation for a child, she will be here in a few months, and it seems that time will pass so quickly and there is much to be done to anticipate her arrival."
Angelica nods. "You are certain we will have a little girl?"
"Alex got his boy, why shouldn't we get our little girl?" I ask, and at the brief cast of doubt in her eyes, I amend, "But should we have a boy first, I would love them no less, my dearest, compassionate Angelica."
She smiles, pleased at my response and I lean toward her, my lips press her cheek and she laughs, the sound rich and enchanting. "I suppose there is much to be done. Whatever do you have in mind, my dearest consternation."
I snort at her sentiment, and then reply, "Well, Alexander and I spoke about a professional partnership in the time we had between negotiations and other duties in the time following the final battles. He mentioned practicing law since we will most likely be part of drafting the laws of our young nation. I have experience in property laws, ideas for proposing proper and representative taxes fair to all. Alex and I spoke a lot about taxes fitting representation. He is drafting a plan for our government and for a financial institution the likes of which the world has never yet seen. He's brilliant Angelica, and he wants me by his side to help him, to support his ideas, and to share my own."
"That sounds wonderful," she says wistfully and I do not miss the sadness.
"Anything I draft, I want to go over and read with you, ask for your help in revisions, and seek your advice as much as his. You have a brilliant mind, and I would readily seek your counsel just as quickly as Alex's," I say with a smile.
Her eyes light up in joy. "Would you? Even at the prospect of being called henpecked?"
"Equity, woman, equity. And why should I care what nosy busy-bodies have to say? I would rather a satisfied wife than conforming to a society that values appearance over happiness."
"You have proven good at pleasing me," she replies, and I glance down to the swell of her belly.
"I should say so, given our present circumstances," I say with a smirk of pride, and that devil of a woman smacks my shoulder and I wince.
She shakes her head, though her expression is one of amusement as I remind her, "I warned you that if you expected a southern gentleman, that I would disappoint."
"Knave," she replies teasingly.
"Your knave."
"I would say so," she replies and then sighs.
"Are you well I ask? Is this too much? Should we rest, or stop to eat?" I ask, hypervigilant to her condition.
She shakes her head. "No, I just had a thought. I received a letter from a friend of mine, in France. She heard rumors of our marriage, and she confided in me quite a scandal."
"Oh," I say with some interest. "I thought you were not one for gossip."
She rolls her eyes and gives me a sharp glance. "As it pleases my wife, do tell."
"My good friend, Maria Cosway, finds herself entangled in an affair with, of all people, Thomas Jefferson. He was widowed not too long ago, but the haste at which she seeks his attention does make one pause and question," Angelica replies.
"Thomas Jefferson," I say, and wince, "The ass that ran off after Benjamin Franklin to France to avoid fighting in the Revolution? Hardly a man of honor. It wouldn't surprise me that he would mourn so short awhile before moving on so quickly."
"Should I caution her over Jefferson's intentions then? What would you advise?" Angelica asks.
I pause and consider it. "I would encourage caution and a question of his intentions. We both know how easily one can fall into scandal. If she cares for her reputation then she should be guarded until certain of his intentions, otherwise, she risks her heart and reputation, if her reputation matters to her."
She nods, considering my words as she tugs me forward and we resume our walk. Too late I realize our destination and grimace as I find myself arm in arm with my wife, standing before the gate of her father's home. Last night when I was here with Alex there was little Philip to discover. Today I feel that should I face my father-in-law now; he will question my ability to provide for my family given our present home.
"We are here to see our nephew," Angelica says with a smirk.
I grin and then sigh. "He's a beautiful little boy," I say, and then I give her a side-eyed glance, "And I will enjoy the visit with him, however, the confrontation I'm sure to have with your father has me apprehensive."
"While I know you do not get along, he has softened in temperament with a grandchild."
This I find difficult to believe, but I am careful to reply. "Alexander is in a far better position to see to the care and comfort of Eliza and the baby. He would not see my situation of the house I've provided you as suitable for you or our child."
She rolls her eyes. "You provide well enough, and we will manage. Given time we can find a new home, one better suited for a growing family, but for now, what we have is enough."
"You know your father will not share that perspective," I reply.
She pulls a face and snorts. "And as I recall, it was not my father I married."
With that, she pulls her arm free of mine and marches ahead of me through the gate and into the house. I laugh at my misfortune of stoking the Schuyler sister fire and make haste to catch up. It is also to my misfortune that before I can reach my wife, I encounter her father, and he requests a word with me in his study.
I hope his intentions are not to attempt to best me in a rematch of our prior drinking contest. With a groan, I follow him. Better to face his ire now than to be made to face it with Angelica present. She needn't see her father and I argue with her present condition.
He takes his seat at his desk and I take one of the plush chairs across from it.
"Laurens," he addresses me, his tone even, but filled with purpose.
"Surveyor General, sir," I reply.
"I am not yet ready to address you so personably as by your first name, as well you know. You have a child on the way, my grandchild, and you will understand my disapproval of you when you've a child of your own to raise and care for. That aside, I have concerns about my Angelica and the child," he says, sounding weary.
I consider his position, fully aware of his displeasure for me. "I understand your worry, sir."
His head snaps up, his temper flaring. "How can you? You are yet to be a father, yet to hold a child in your arms that is yours, and you've stolen mine from me! You provide no land, a sullied reputation, a small house unfit to raise a family in, the salary of a soldier and now that is done because the war is won! Do you really understand my worry?"
"Do you think this has not crossed my mind?" I snap. "I only just found out yesterday that Angelica is expecting our child! I have plans, Alexander and I have discussed a partnership in practicing law, and given our favor with General Washington and our dedication to the founding of this new nation, we will have a part to play in constructing a constitution. I may not have much now, but that does not mean I lack the ambition to secure a proper future for my family. My concerns at this moment are seeing to the happiness and health of my wife. Loathe me all you want, but do not disparage me in front of Angelica, do not press upon her this worry of yours, she need not be burdened so heavily right now in consideration of her condition and our growing child."
I see his eyes widen in shock at the anger that has burst from me, and all of the energy leaves me as I fall back into the chair, pinching the bridge of my nose as I collect myself.
"What is this?" he asks quietly and I am surprised by the concern in his tone.
I look up, quick to wipe my face free of the tears. "Sir?"
"Your concerns, is her health a present concern?" he asks.
I shake my head, "No, she told me she doesn't even complain of the sickness that sometimes accompanies the carrying of a child. I just want to tend to her needs and health. I want my wife and my child to be well. I want my wife to not only birth a healthy child but be present to raise our child as well."
"I see," he says, and I look up in surprise, noting the sympathy in his tone, the curiosity in his gaze.
"My father was not as kind with his children as you are with yours, and harder still were his expectations on my mother, it wore her down, and by the time my youngest siblings were born she was too weak to fully recover. I will be damned before such a weight of expectation is put upon Angelica or our children."
I watch as he takes in a deep breath, gives a slow nod, and then he stands. I stand as well and I am surprised when he reaches his hand out expectantly. I take his hand and shake it, bewildered at this turn of events.
"You love her," he says. "You are thinking about your future with her and your growing family, and seeing you now, recalling how you have defended her to me since I discovered your union, you have earned my respect, John."
"Sir?" I ask, unable to cover the confusion in my tone.
He laughs. "You will understand if you are fortunate enough to have daughters. Welcome to the family, son."
My eyes widen. "Have you had anything to drink?"
"Not yet, but we can have a glass of whiskey as we discuss the purchase of a home befitting a growing family," he replies, obviously taking pleasure from my bewilderment.
"Wh…what?"
"It is only fair that I do for you and Angelica what I am also doing for Alexander and Elizabeth. I do not agree with how you became my daughter's husband, but you care for her, you fight for her, even with me you fight for her. As a father, I could not ask for better. You also are capable of tempering Angelica. She is the most brazen of my daughters, and she has run off many a suitor given her intellect and demeanor."
I smile and nod. "I find her passion and fire refreshing. She is a woman of an independent mind, fierce and capable of anything. I hope, should our child be a girl, that she be of a similar bearing and sharp wit."
"You say that now," Schuyler says with a smirk, giving my shoulder a friendly clap before he goes to the liquor cabinet to pour our drinks, as he hands me two fingers of whiskey and continues, "But I assure you, the reality is quite daunting on a man's health."
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