Where Are We Now

Chapter 20

Lady antebellum – just a kiss

Sunday morning and he was wide awake, he looked across to Molly still sleeping. He wanted to do something today as it was going to be a long 3 month while she was away. He kissed her on the cheek and pushed her hair away from her face. An action he had done many times. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he could show her he did love her, regain her trust and belief in him again.

She stretched and her eyes opened. "Mornin"

"Morning sleepy head" he answered smiling down at her "Do you want to go into London and see your Nan before we head back"

"Nah it's alright, I'll phone her tomorrow"

"It's not a problem Moll, won't take long from here to drive to East Ham"

"She'll be at my parents today, always goes round there for Sunday lunch and I ain't going round there" she frowned "What's the time anyway"

He laughed and looked at his watch "06.00. Well I do have an idea if you don't want to go into London"

"What's that then?"

"We haven't been in a long time, how about we go to Pennyhill Park. Go for a walk, maybe a swim have a nice dinner and spend the night and only 20 minutes to be back in barracks early Monday" he said smiling and waggling his eyebrows

"Why, we ain't been there since before …."

"I just thought you might like it, bit of pampering before 3 months of army rations." He started "and I want to give you a nice memory to take with you, and know I'll miss you"

"Soppy bugger" but the smile she gave made his heart flip "Bit extravagant though ain't it" still smiling "posh bugger like you not happy with a quick knee trembler in the store cupboard when we get back then?" She squealed with laughter as his long fingers started tickling her round her ribs

"Molly James there is not a romantic bone in your body is there" as he stopped tickling her to kiss her soundly on the lips.

"Not much call for it in Newham mate, lucky if you got a couple of pints, a curry and a shag behind the takeaway" she said laughing

"Molly!" he shook his head, there was really no sides, no hidden agenda to Molly, she just said what she thought. He just wished she had more self-esteem but he guessed he too now contributed to her low opinion of herself. "Come on let's get moving or we'll never get there"

They showered, dressed and had a quick breakfast and were on the road to Pennyhill Park as Charles had already booked them a room and dinner for the evening.

They were currently checking in when Charles asked what she wanted to do

"Sir there are extra activities today which were cancelled yesterday, so apart from the walks, golf, tennis and croquet we have the archery and pistol shooting today. Normally it's only on Saturdays but a family emergency yesterday means we are running it today" the receptionist said helpfully with a lustful smile at Charles. Molly sniggered behind him at the fact he didn't even seem to notice.

"Well that's it lets go pistol shooting" said Molly laughing

"Really?" he put his arm round her shoulder guiding her away from the desk and towards the stairs and their room

"Yeah I want to see if I can beat you" she smiled up at him

"OK half pint your wish is my command"

"Don't call me that" as she elbowed him in the ribs and he sniggered

They went out to join Eric the instructor for the pistol shooting and it seemed they were the only ones. Once he found they were in the army he offered to set up the clay pigeon shoot as well. It turned out he was retired from the army himself and this was something he could do that would make good use of his old skills. When he found that Molly was due for deployment he thought it would be good practise for her, using different weapons. They enjoyed themselves immensely. Molly actually beat Charles at the pistol shooting not by much but she did and she jumped up and down air punching, her eyes sparkling with excitement and happiness. It was short lived when they moved onto clay pigeon shooting with the shotgun and Charles couldn't stop sniggering that she missed every single target. Eric commented with his dry wit that perhaps it might be a good idea to tell the Taliban to stand still at which point Charles was almost wetting himself with laughter at Molly's crestfallen face.

They walked back to the hotel and bought swimming gear before going into the restaurant for a light lunch. Returning to their room to change and collect their complimentary robes they went to the pool. In the end they opting for the outdoor Canadian Hot Tub with bubble loungers and laid back on them.

"Thanks Charlie, I've had a lovely day"

"Good" he said kissing the back of her head as she laid against him in the hot tub "I just wish you weren't going"

"You never got this het up about me going on tour before, is it Afghan that bothers you"

"Course it is Molly, nothing good has happened in that place, I can't help but wonder if we ever should have gone, what have we achieved" he sighed "Look at the people it's taken Elvis, Smurf, Fingers, Geraint" "I can't help it if I'm worried and don't want you to go, I could have a word with Beck"

"Don't you dare" she swung round to look at him and put her hand on his cheek "You never would have met me if you hadn't gone there Charlie, was I a bad thing too"

"You know you're not Molly" he looked straight into her worried green eyes "I just don't want you to go that's all" he could feel the tension rising in him at just the thought. She turned again and rested her back on his chest

"I need to do this Charlie, when we split up I started down the promotion route so I could look after meself. I've done the exams and that, this is the final piece to help me"

"Help you do what Molly?" he was a little worried at this conversation as it sounded like she was making a new life for herself and he wasn't sure if he would be playing a part in that or if he was, then would it still be as her husband.

"Well I started my EMT training and I want to be a Sergeant for the grades. If I leave the army my CMT qualifications aren't worth nothing, if I have the EMT I could maybe look for a job as a paramedic in the NHS or something".

"Do you want to leave the army Molly?"

"I dunno, maybe one day, I don't see it as a lifetime career like you do Charlie. Some of it's a bit shit, you know being away for months on end" now she sighed before continuing "When you kept going on tour with Georgie, I thought I would be on me own and I needed to make sure I would be alright. Plus, I didn't want to stay in if you both did, didn't want to have to keep seeing you".

He felt her shake and although he couldn't see her face he knew she was crying "I want this to work, I want us to be together but it won't be like before Charlie"

He felt his heart constrict and almost felt short of breath "Why can't we. I promise you can trust me" he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"It's not just about trust, you left me long before I said the words when I phoned you. I got used to being on me own. Think for meself and about what I wanted to do. You're trying to organise me Charlie, tell me what to do, not go on tour. You can't do that no more, we need to talk about stuff now. You can't expect me to just follow where you lead anymore".

"So why don't you want me to go to Afghan Charlie. I'm going to be in a hospital in Kabul vaccinating kiddies".

He put his chin on her shoulder, staring straight ahead but not really seeing anything

"I'm so scared Molly, that dream it's playing on my mind the one where you were falling from that building and not Elvis"

She put her hands over his and lifted one to her lips and kissed all his knuckles before replacing it on her stomach. "It's just a dream Charlie. Nothing's going to happen. I'm with a lot of top blokes, Kingy, Kinders, Brains, Dangles and Monk. Remember we don't just look after number one, but the man next to us. They'll have my back and I'll have theirs. We've all been before, we trained for this".

"I'm being a bit possessive aren't I?"

"A bit but it proves you care about me I guess"

"YOU GUESS! I don't know how I'd cope if I lost you."

"When we get back go see Ted. Don't slip back to where you were worrying about stuff that ain't gonna happen" she said with a small smile "Promise me"

"I promise"

"Right, I'm getting all wrinkly so let's go back to the room and change for dinner. I'm Hank"

"What?"

"Hank Marvin, Starvin" she rolled her eyes at him "You know that I've said it loads" she laughed

"Yeah well I still need google translate from time to time" as he laughed with her the conversation finished of the time being.

He had listened to her maybe for the first time. When they met she was only 20 and her first time abroad even out of London and everything was new, bright and shiny. He had been to boarding school, university and Sandhurst and was eight years older, a captain, used to being self-contained and giving orders. Maybe he had always, even unintentionally, been a little possessive or arrogant even at suggesting what she should do with her career. He had never asked her where she would like to go on holiday always making the suggestion of where. Even their home he had picked the area he thought best for getting back to barracks.

She may not have had a formal education but she was bright and streetwise. Right at the start of their relationship she said she was looking for something she was just worried what she might find. When he emotionally left her after Elvis she had to fend for herself, find her own way again after having spent years guided by him. In his time away she had grown, blossomed even and she had found a path she wanted to follow. He was grateful that she seemed happy that he could hold her hand and follow it with her.

.

They woke at the arse end of dawn on Monday morning wrapped in each other's arms her hoping she was giving him comfort at her going and him just wanting to hold her for as long as he could before she left for Afghan. Now they were both living in barracks, him being a Major and her a Corporal there would be no passionate farewell on Tuesday morning. This would be the last time for 3 very long months.

They did manage a last evening meal together in the Mess Hall in a relatively quiet corner surrounded by excited squaddies all fired up and ready to leave for Brize at 09.00 tomorrow.

His sad eyes kept looking at her drinking her in wishing they were somewhere else

"You don't fancy a quickie round the back of the stores then?" her eyes shining with cheek and desperately trying to cheer him up. Charles nearly spat his coffee out and started to cough

"Indeed, I do, but hardly appropriate for an officer" She surreptitiously ran her booted foot up the inside of his leg causing his eyes to widen. Her smile widened and she bit the corner of her lip and raised her eyebrows

"Well we could go back to plan A then, the knee trembler in the store cupboard in the med centre"

"Molly! Stop it or I'll have to sit here for bloody ages. Behave"

Her laughter was unrestrained "Your face, Charlie" and she was off again howling with laughter and he had no choice but to join in it was so infectious. She had done what she set out to do and lightened his mood.