Break My Pride

by roseandfoxes

At age nineteen, Prince Julian Schreave was supposed to have a Selection, but was involved in a deadly accident. At age twenty, just over a year later, Julian, now blind, and emotionally scarred from what happened, is again holding a Selection. Julian is now sarcastic and bitter, and doesn't know who to trust: especially when a saboteur could be among his staff. SYOC Closed :)

21. Don't Speak, But Don't Sit In Silence

This dance, Julian thinks, is remarkably different from the one he just had with Lulu, in a number of ways. The first being how less nervous he was than the last dance – Lulu helped soothe those nerves, sure, but knowing that it was his first dance and everyone was watching him and waiting, judging...it was scary. This dance is just as important, of course, but there's less pressure on him now, since he's already shared his first dance. The second difference being the woman, (obviously), and the way Julian feels when he's with her than with Lulu.

Julian steps back as Leona Carlet steps forward and then to the side as they sway around pleasantly to the music, a comfortable, friendly silence between the two of them. With Leona's hand in his, Julian feels happy, but not much else and that's...well...what is that? What does it mean, exactly? Lulu's hand in his was exciting, it was the start of his dance, it was something, but with Leona, Julian can only focus on her hand itself and not on how it makes him feel. Her hand is smaller than his, and soft, surprisingly so, for a baker, and delicate in a way, but doesn't feel like Julian would crush or hurt her. Actually, that's how Leona feels as a whole to Julian – girly and sweet, but with an undercurrent of something fiercer – something that promises a wicked grin and biting words if she were to ever be crossed.

Julian had bowed her to Leona, ("Prince Julian, please, I already asked that you call me Ona!"), in the same way that he had with Lulu and offered her his hand to start dancing. They had exchanged pleasantries, and then lapsed into the calm, happy quiet they were sharing now, and it was nice.

Just...nice.

Julian spins Ona around, and can feel the material of her dress swish against his pant leg while she does so, and when she comes back, there's no tension between them, nothing that gets Julian's heart racing, just a perfunctory motion. Is Julian being too rash? Sure, Lulu and Julian didn't have raging sexual tension or anything like that during their dance, (Were they supposed to? During a waltz, no less?), but there was still the edge of something between them that could turn into something romantic or sexual or something else. It kept Julian on edge in the best of ways during their dance, always anticipating something and eager for what was next, but with Ona, there's no anticipation, only being.

Julian clears his throat rather loudly, trying to save himself from his thoughts and overthinking, but Ona beats him to the punch. "You look petrified." She comments lightly, with the hint of a smile to her voice.

"I – what?" Julian balks, blinking once, twice, before trying to speak again. "I do?"

Ona giggles sweetly. "Yeah. Not the whole time we've been dancing, but I think you're just now realizing there's not much here." A pause. "Between us, I mean." She amends.

Julian almost stops moving completely at the bomb she just drops and feels his mouth open and close, gaping like a fish. It must look wholly unattractive but – "What?"

"Wow, should I be proud of myself for making a prince speechless?" Ona teases, letting Julian gather his bearings. There's an easiness to her voice, a levity that eases Julian's nerves a bit, especially if this conversation is heading the way Julian suspects it is.

"You don't think there's much between us?" Julian asks, when he's sure he can put together a coherent sentence.

They spin again. "You do?" Comes Ona's reply.

Julian stiffens slightly, and he knows he tightened his grip on Ona's hand just from the slight hiss she lets out when he does so. He loosens his grip again and sends her an apologetic look, but considers her question. Does she really want him to answer that question and why? It sounds like Ona already knows his answer and seems pretty okay with it, but...why? Julian doesn't consider himself a great prize or anything, but he's a prince with a palace and money and power, all things that are heavily wanted, so why would Ona be so willing and okay with giving all that up, especially so soon in the competition?

"There's that look again." Ona comments again, and if Julian could see her face, he'd swear she was wearing a smirk.

"I – don't you think it's too soon to answer that?" Julian asks, wincing at how breathless his voice sounds and the way his eyes widen. He knows he probably looks like a deer caught in headlights – eyes wide and fearful, lips open, body shaking, but he wasn't prepared for something like this. Not yet...maybe not ever.

"No." Ona answers simply. "I'm having a good time in the Selection, believe me, but I think it has more to do with the palace and the atmosphere than my relationship with you." Ona explains slowly, patiently, with a smile in her voice.

Julian slows down their dance, more so for him to catch his breath than anything else. "But we've only had one meeting."

"Sure, and we talked about cake the whole time." Ona giggles, and the noise causes a smile on Julian's face, too.

"That cake sounded so damn good." Julian mutters.

Ona laughs more openly and she sounds relieved, as if Julian just proved her point and...well, maybe he did. "I'm sure you thought more about the cake than you did about me after it, though?" Julian averts his eyes away from Ona, feeling his face flush. "Well that answers that question for me!"

"But there's always more opportunity for us to make more of a connection!" Julian protests.

"Sure, but why would we want to waste time trying to make something that's not there?" Ona asks quietly. "We've been dancing for a while, and yet I'm not feeling much of anything except that I like twirling. And when we talked yesterday, I enjoyed talking to you, but no more so than I enjoy talking to a customer or a cousin of mine, you know?"

Julian blinks. "Should I be happy to be compared to one of your customers?"

"Definitely. They're the coolest people around." Ona grins.

Julian smiles back. "Well then, it's an honor."

They lapse back into a comfortable silence with each other as the gentle music continues to play and Julian really thinks about Ona's words. She sounds like she's already mulled all of this over in her head and she's okay with it – that there's not much of a romantic connection between them, even this early on, and that it's just the way life goes sometimes. And honestly, Julian feels it, too, a nice companionship with Ona, a comfort in her easy-going, friendly nature, but nothing even slightly romantic between them. When Saskia accidentally brushed her fingers against Julian's during their meeting, Julian's heart immediately started beating faster in a way that it hasn't the whole time he's touched Ona. Maybe it means nothing, or maybe it means a lot, but...Saskia's touch has lingered with Julian and Ona's has not.

"This is your Selection, Prince Julian," Ona breaks in softly, her voice taking on a comforting quality, gentle, as if she wants to spare Julian's feelings, "and you should be spending it cultivating meaningful relationships with your Selected. You shouldn't keep me just because it'll make you feel bad to eliminated me."

Julian winces. "Am I that obvious about it?"

Ona laughs lightly. "Your panic is written all over your face."

"We've barely gotten to know each other, and maybe there could be something if we let things progress a little further, you know?" Julian suggests, sounding just a level under desperate.

"Sure, something could, but on the other hand, I could just be waiting around, going on dates with you, trying to make something out of nothing and taking time away from real connections you could be making with someone else." Ona reminds him gently. "Prince Julian, answer me this, okay: do you want me to stay because you genuinely think there's something between us, or at least potential, or because you're scared to eliminate me?"

Julian's prolonged silence and his eyes trained on the floor say more than what his words could. It's funny, how even though Julian can't see Ona's face or meet her eyes, focusing his eyes on the floor gives him a tiny semblance of comfort. He doesn't have to look into her eyes, but just knowing he's looking into her eyes without actually seeing is still scary. "I just don't want to eliminate someone so soon. It doesn't feel like enough time to make such an important decision." Julian admits softly.

Ona lets out a patient huff of air, considering what he said. "I'm a go-getting kind of person, you know, and I like to do things and be wanted and needed." Julian can hear the shifting on material and his hand moves on Ona's shoulder when she shrugs. "I've always been that way, even when I was a kid – so the thought of being stuck in a competition where I don't need to be there with someone who I feel nothing but friendly feelings for isn't a very fun prospect."

"Would you really be that miserable here?"

Ona hums thoughtfully. "I'd be lying if I said I'd be miserable! I mean, this is a palace, for heaven's sake! But would I truly be happy? No. I want to be somewhere where I'm wanted and needed, where I have potential to grow and there's nothing for me if I stay here than some really cool stories. Heck, I've only been here for a day and a half and I already have a lifetime of stories to tell!" Ona gushes, causing Julian to smile.

"And you're not disappointed at all?" Julian asks, still truly unable to wrap his head around this whole thing. Sure, he's so relieved to hear that Ona is at peace with all this, and he's even more relieved that she's being so honest with him about it, but it's strange, too. So, so strange.

"I came here for you," Ona explains, "so of course I wanted a fairy-tale romance where I sweep you off of your feet and we bake cakes together and have like sugar-plum babies or something -"

Julian snorts. "Sugar plum babies?"

"Hey! It could totally be a thing!" Ona exclaims, voice betraying the pout she must be wearing. "So when we talked yesterday and I didn't feel even a smidgen of something romantic for you, of course I was sad, but I'm glad I felt it so soon, you know? It's a clean break for us: I got to meet Prince Julian and dance with him and have some good conversation with him – that's more than most people will ever get." Julian goes to cut in, but Ona continues on, not letting him get a word in edge-wise. "I've met some incredible women, I spent the night in a palace, I ate amazing food, and I got to see the King and Queen up close! How could I ever truly be disappointed?"

Julian does stop dancing here, unable to stop himself, and Ona lets him, stopping too, but keeping their position, and squeezes Julian's hand in hers, giving him some comfort. Maybe it's the prospect of eliminating another woman so soon in the Selection, or maybe it's the genuine amount of acceptance and calm in Ona's voice, but Julian feels...tired all of a sudden, mostly out of relief. It would be a lie to say that Julian would be happy to have Ona leave, because just talking to her like this, with no pressure to be romantic, it's really nice, and Ona is a lovely, lovely woman, but that's all she is to him and he knows in the deepest pit of his stomach that's all she will be to him, is a sweet woman who could be a wonderful friend.

And all Prince Julian is to Ona is a handsome prince, an experience, and honestly? He's okay with being that for her, knowing that Ona had a good time at the palace, despite her time there being so short is so relieving to know. Julian makes up his mind and nods, before resuming their dance, and Ona matches him flawlessly, as if they had never stopped dancing in the first place. He wonders absently how many eyes were on them when they stopped in the middle of the ballroom floor like that – what they must have looked like.

Did Julian look as conflicted and pensive as he felt? Did Ona look patient as she waited for Julian to come to the conclusion that she had already come to? And what would everyone think of Julian eliminating a woman so early? Would they suspect Julian of being cruel and getting rid of her because she made a mistake, or would they poke fun of Ona for not being "good enough" to be kept in Prince Julian's Selection. Would this have a big affect on her business negatively? And what would everyone say about her now? What would his father and –

"Prince Julian, stop overthinking it." Ona chides gently. Julian likes how quiet and gentle Ona's voice can get when she's comforting him. Yesterday, it was bouncy and boisterous, the kind of voice that immediately attracts attention because she was happy and talking about her passion, but now it was quiet and sweet and all it did was provide comfort to Julian and nothing else.

"It's kind of my specialty." Julian jokes.

Ona laughs. "Remember, this is your Selection, and only yours. No one can tell you who to eliminate and when."

Julian shakes his head, astonished by this whole turn in events and can only let out an amused, but grateful puff of air. "I – thank you, Ona."

Ona squeezes his shoulder gently. "No problem. If I may," Ona pauses, and when Julian nods for her to continue, she does, "I think I was really clued in by our lack of chemistry by the other women." She confesses.

Julian's eyes widen. "Were they gossiping about us?" He asks, a little shocked

"Oh, no! Sorry, I meant, there were some women who were talking about how you made them feel and how sweet and silly you were and all that. Some even talked about wanting to kiss the nerves off your face." Julian's face floods in mortification at that thought and uh...maybe the tiniest bit of interest. He opens his mouth – "Oh no, I'm not telling you who said it!" Ona laughs.

Julian can't help the way his mouth slams shut into a pout. "Rude."

"What I'm saying is, they all felt something with you almost immediately, and all I was thinking about was how nice you were. And that's it." Ona lets out a sigh. "If people can fall in love within five minutes, then how crazy is it to say that I knew within five minutes that we'd never fall in love?"

"There's nothing wrong with that." Julian says softly.

"Exactly." Ona agrees with what Julian can only imagine is a soft, pleased smile. "But, before you eliminate me, I do have one tiny request!"

Julian nods. "I, yeah. Anything, Ona."

"I'd like to stay at least one more day to check out the kitchen. Please? My kitchen is fine for what I do, but a royal kitchen? I can't even imagine all of the appliances and the counter-space! And the sheer amount of ingredients you all must have? Please!"

Julian relaxes fully, the first time since their dance started, and it truly hits Julian now that Ona is really happy with her decision. She knew that their was nothing between them and there never would be and was now making the best out of a frankly disappointing situation for the two of them. And yeah, Julian will be sad to see her go, Ona is infectiously sweet and her excitement is endearing, even now, when gushing about the kitchen, but this is the best outcome for both of them, and he knows that fully now. Keeping her here, making Ona stay somewhere to remain idle when she's clearly such a passionate person – that wouldn't be fair. Ona is bright and kind, the type of person who thrives in the right sort of setting, so to want her to stay only to make Julian feel better is cruel and selfish and Julian couldn't do that to her – or any of the women.

"Even better, why don't you stay for a couple of days and apprentice under Nonnie?" Julian suggests. At the intake of air Ona takes, Julian aches to see the obvious excitement on her face. "She could teach you what she knows and you would have full use of the kitchen and everything that comes with it."

"You're not just offering this to me because you feel bad, right?" Ona asks, sounding doubtful about such an amazing opportunity – and rightfully so.

Julian shakes his head. "No, this is because you deserve to see the kitchen, because I know you'd love it, and...I guess to say thank you." Julian answers honestly.

"Thank you for not having feelings for you?"

Julian snickers. "No, thank you for being honest with me and I guess, forcing me to be honest with myself. If you hadn't have said anything, I probably would have kept you here for who knows how long, and that wouldn't have been fair to anyone here. You, me, or the other Selected." Julian lets out an almost inaudible breath, but smiles, albeit nervously, at Ona. "Ready to be eliminated?"

Ona giggles. "Ready and willing!"

Julian grins at her enthusiasm. He knows this isn't easy for her, even though she knows that there's no potential between them, it's still hard to face that head-on and be eliminated from something she obviously looked forward to. Still, Ona is ready for it, and, probably even more ready to go off and see the kitchens, so Julian takes a deep breath and says, "Leona Carlet, you are now officially eliminated from the Selection. But you are more than welcome to stay as an apprentice under Nonnie and to visit the palace at any time as a friend of the royal family." Julian pauses and leans in closer to Ona with a warm smile. "And as a personal friend of mine."

Ona squeezes his shoulder. "Thanks, Prince Julian, it was truly wonderful to be part of your Selection, however short I was here for. And, if I can be honest –"

"Always."

"I really do think your future bride is here, among all the other girls, and you're going to find her and everything is going to go amazing for you and her." Ona says honestly. "And, if not, my best friend Abby has like, the world's biggest crush on you, so she's always available if none of these women fit the bill!"

Julian throws his head back in a surprised, but delighted laugh, a relieved laugh. An oh-my-God-I-just-eliminated-another-Selected-and-I-didn't-die-while-doing-it laugh. "I'll keep that in mind." There's a slight pause, not uncomfortable, but Julian can feel the way Ona is shifting around impatiently, and he grins. "Go check out the kitchen, Ona." Julian laughs. Ona doesn't hesitate, giving Julian one last squeeze on his shoulder and an excited squeal, before she peels out of the ballroom, her heels clicking a little loudly in the ballroom as the music fades.

Julian's not sure how he should feel right now – there isn't a manual or a handbook to say how one should conduct themselves during a Selection. His father was calm and cool, having settled on the Queen rather quickly, and his grandfather was stern and far-removed, not caring one way or another how his Selection went. Both of them were quick and precise and had no problem eliminating their Selected women, and Julian...he's simply not built like that. He's never been one to be able to make decisions lightly, especially when it involves another person and their thoughts, feelings, and future.

And right now? Well...Julian feels both heavy and light. Heavy that another bright young woman has been eliminated, especially one as happy as Ona, but light, knowing that he wasn't keeping someone who truly didn't have a romantic connection with him. He was light, because he knew he was one step closer to finding his true connection here, not that Ona was an obstacle, necessarily, but she was someone who would have taken up his time and energy that he could have been devoting to the women who he did have potential with, and now that she basically eliminated herself, he would have more opportunity to spend time with the women who could really become his wife.

Ona would be alright, Julian thinks, because she's driven and strong – dynamic and willful in a way that deserves someone who can encourage that side of her and help cultivate it, and Julian just simply isn't that person. And you know what? It's not a bad thing to admit that! It's not a bad thing to realize that some people make instant connections, like his parents, while others don't. Sure, Julian still doesn't know who he has a romantic connection with yet, but there were women that immediately stood out to him in a way that Ona simply didn't. And that was okay.

Julian was okay and Ona was okay.

Julian nods to himself and turns on his heel just in time for Kieran to put a hand on his shoulder. "Prince Julian," Kieran greets happily enough, leading the prince away from the middle of the ballroom. Kieran lowers his voice and his head, his mouth placed right next to the Prince's ear. "You just eliminated another woman?" It's not a question, obviously, it just happened, Kieran just watched it happen, but Julian grateful for Kieran allowing him to explain himself.

"I did. Ona and I realized there really wasn't anything between us and decided to cut ties now before it got too far into the competition." Julia explains.

Kieran makes a gentle noise of acknowledgment. "I know that must've been difficult for you, sir. I'm proud of you for making that decision."

Julian flushes at the praise. "Honestly, you should be proud of Ona. She was the one that pointed it out to me. I mean, I knew, but I was trying to ignore it because I was scared and I didn't want to eliminate anyone so soon."

"Or ever." Kieran adds with a touch of smugness to his voice.

Julian rolls his eyes fondly. "Yes, Kieran, or ever, but she made me see that it was better to eliminate her now than prolong anything. And I'm really grateful for it."

Kieran squeezes Julian's shoulder. "Well, I'm delighted to hear that, Prince Julian." Kieran says sincerely, even if his voice is as flat and polite as ever. "And what you did for her, letting her intern with Nonnie, was very kind."

Julian sighs. "It was the least I could do. Honestly, I wish I could do more. She really helped me and I should repay that."

"Something tells me Miss Carlet wouldn't like that." Kieran says. "I'm sure she's happy with what she has. Trust me, her smile told everyone what she wasn't saying." Julian knows Kieran said that absently, but again, Julian is hit with an ache, because he longs to see that excitement on Leona's face, knowing that she was getting an opportunity of a lifetime. He wonders if her cheeks were ruddy in her excitement, her eyes wide and bright, body shaking in anticipation.

Julian sighs and lets those thoughts go. There's no point in wallowing in thoughts that wouldn't come true. "Anyway, her elimination has been the best out of the three so far."

Kieran snorts indelicately. "Yes, out of the three, you've had one who quit, one who practically eliminated herself for being a self-important brat, and one who coaxed you into eliminating her because she knew there was nothing romantic between the two of you. How ever could you have chosen between them?" Kieran asks dryly.

"Alright, Kieran, jeez, I get it." Julian laughs. "I – hey, wait – where are you taking me?" Julian was a little confused since it feels like they have gone around in a big circle instead of going back to the side of the ballroom like Julian was expecting. Julian figured they'd talk a little bit more about his dances with Lulu and Ona before moving onto his third dance, but instead, they're still in the thick of things as evidenced by the voices all around them. "Kieran?"

"Feel free to say no, Prince Julian, but I'd like to surprise you with your third dance." Kieran answers, his voice soft and a little hesitant. "But I figured your head would be everywhere and nowhere right now and you do have a tendency to overthink, so maybe just having the third dance chosen for you instead of choosing yourself would be better?" Kieran suggests a little shyly.

Julian considers this, pausing with Kieran stopping immediately at his side. Kieran has a point, of course, Julian would immediately start overthinking which girl to choose and spend so much worrying about the "right girl" and about Ona's elimination rather than enjoying himself and the moment, so he nods. "Alright, Kieran, let's do it."

"Sir I – really?"

Julian can't help the playful way he rolls his eyes as Kieran's shocked voice. "Yeah, of course. I trust you, and you're right. I'll think way too much about which woman to dance with next and I'll just stress myself out. Why not let you choose?" Julian pauses thoughtfully. "Did you have someone specific in mind?"

"Yes. I think she'll be the appropriate mix of casual and fun that you need right now, after a stressful situation like you just had." Kieran explains. "Miss Carlet made it less so, but an elimination is still a tough thing all around."

Julian nods. "You're right, and again, I trust you, so lead me to her." Julian smiles, feeling oddly excited. Maybe it's nice to let someone else have control for a change, Julian thinks, as he allows Kieran to lead him toward the gaggle of side-lined women again. The choice is out of Julian's hands, but it's his whole body that's relaxing at that realization that he doesn't have to make another decision. His shoulders slump just so and his jaw unclenches, though his breathing ratchets up, but out of excitement, rather than nerves, like earlier with his dance with Lulu and the anticipation of that. Now, Julian's just curious about who Kieran chose for him to dance with and who he thought would be the most "appropriate" choice for him after Ona.

As their pace slows down as they approach the Selected, Julian assumes, Kieran leans into Julian space and whispers. "Bow to your right, that's where your next Selected is."

Julian's eyes widen. "I – you're not going to tell me who?"

"I think you'll know who it is as soon as she speaks." Kieran says with a smug tinge to his voice. "Show time, sir." Kieran stills and allows Julian to keep walking a few paces before he pauses and makes a sweeping bow to the crowd in front of him, and he bend to his right.

He sighs internally, hating being caught-off guard, but steels himself, because Kieran's right. Show time. "Good evening." Julian greets with a charming smile, as he stands up.

There's an aborted laugh, a surprised, me, really? kind of laugh. "Well good evening to you, too, Prince Julian." Comes the flat, almost monotone voice, though Julian can clearly hear the surprise coloring it, and his smile immediately widens.

"Miss Saskia Conlaed, may I have this dance?" Julian asks, feeling his excitement grow, now that he knows who he's about to dance with. Of course Julian was nervous, not knowing who he was going to ask to dance with before he talked to her, but now he understands Kieran's decision not to tell him. Saskia was certainly one of the women who made a big impression on Julian after their initial meeting, but he was hesitant to ask her to dance because of not wanting to treat her like a charity case, but this way, Kieran took the indecision out of Julian's hands and he was eternally grateful for it.

"Are you sure?" Kia asks, still sounding a bit unsure. Julian's surprised to note how much he hates hearing her sound like that. Unsure of herself and her worth as a dance partner, maybe even as a Selected girl overall. "I've never really danced before. I'll probably crush your foot or something."

Julian laughs. "I doubt that, my foot could withstand it."

"I'm in heels for the very first time ever. I can barely walk in them, let alone dance." Saskia warns.

"I can't walk in heels, either, to be fair."

"Prince Julian..." Saskia trails off, sounding as though she's trying to stay serious and bite back a smile.

Julian tries not to frown at the obvious hesitation in her voice. Did Saskia truly not want to dance with him? Of course Julian wouldn't force her, but he won't deny that he was looking forward to spending time with her again. "Do you not want to dance with me, Saskia? You don't have to, I won't make you." Julian tries to keep his voice as neutral as possible, hoping she doesn't hear the dip in his voice – the confusion, mainly, and the small amount of hurt.

"No, it's not that – I..." Saskia takes a step forward, before she stops suddenly, just a touch closer to Julian than she was before. "Everyone will stare at us."

Oh.

And Julian gets it now, the way Saskia's voice got quieter until Julian strained to hear it – the way the confident, mysterious woman started to sound like a shrinking violet, he understood now. He won't pretend to completely know Saskia as a person, that would be silly, but from what Julian gleaned from her earlier, is that Saskia is rarely a shy person, rarely unsure of herself, but that's also when she's a Six, living paycheck to paycheck. Maybe in her regular life, Saskia is living on top of the bottom, but here, in the palace, in the midst of the decadence and luxury, Saskia is at the very bottom with nowhere to hide. She's wearing a dress and heels, maybe for the very first time in her life, she's eating out of plates and glasses she could only look at before, and talking to people who wouldn't give her a passing glance in her usual life. Julian can't imagine what it must feel like to be here, in all of that, and to now be asked to dance by the prince?

Was it a flurry of emotions she felt? Did Saskia feel a sudden burst of excitement in her chest, blooming underneath her sternum, catching her off-guard? Her breath starting to pick up, pin-pricks of excitement running all along her skin when she realized Prince Julian chose her to dance? And how soon did that excitement sour and turn to fear when it fully hit Saskia that oh God, Prince Julian chose her? Prince Julian chose a Six to dance with above the One and Twos around her. Not only will she be dancing with him, something she's never done before, but everyone's eyes will be on them for a multitude of reasons with varying looks – pity, curiosity, disdain...

Julian knows what it's like to be scared of looks, he's scared of that every moment of every day. Hell, he was scared of it not even fifteen minutes earlier when he was eliminating Leona! But, if Saskia was scared, too, if the snarky, but charming woman he met yesterday was disappearing because of fear, then Julian would gladly buck himself up and be strong for the both of them.

So Julian just sends Saskia the most warm, genuine smile he has and holds out his hand to her general direction and hopes desperately that it's not shaking. "Then let them stare." Julian declares simply.

There's a long, tense (On Julian's end, at least) moment between them, when Julian's hand is suspended in the air, waiting for Saskia's hand. And just when Julian is beginning to think that Saskia won't take it, her work-rough hand, so very different from Leona's soft one, slides into his. "Okay. Let's dance." As Julian walks Saskia out to the middle of the dance floor, he's pleased to note that the nerves that very briefly colored Saskia's person seem to have disappeared now, and he wonders if Saskia is the kind of person that enjoys knowing what's coming on the horizon, like Julian. He hates surprises, always have, even when he was a child, and has always preferred to know what he's in for, and he suspects Saskia might be the same.

The practiced glide of one hand in shoulder, one on waist, hand holding hand is easy, sure, but Julian can immediately tell the difference between him and Saskia and him and Leona. As the music starts, Saskia steps forward without thinking, the tip of her heel stepping on Julian's toe, just barely, but Saskia jumps back, her hands immediately leaving his person in her shock. "Shit, I told you." Saskia mutters, mostly to herself than anyone else.

Julian blinks, then steps forward and nudges his left foot forward, until he can feel what he believes is Saskia's foot. "Is this your foot, Saskia?"

"Yeah?"

Julian nods and gently presses down on it, making sure not to hurt Saskia, and the gasp she lets out is more surprised than anything, and Julian quickly takes his foot back. "There." He smiles. "Now we're even." Saskia snorts once, twice, before she lets out a deep, rumbling laugh that sounds more relieved than anything, as if she's releasing the last of her nerves, and soon, she's back in Julian's arms. "I'll lead, so just follow what I do." Julian instructs gently. Julian can feel her body move, so Saskia must be nodding her assent. Julian steps forward and Saskia naturally steps back, even if her step is a little clumsy, and off they go.

Where Leona's dance was calm and all-around nice, there was nothing much in the way of tension or edge, not like Julian's dance with Saskia. He's aware of every subtle move she makes, the twitching of her fingers on his shoulder, the heaves of her chest, the swish of her long, curly hair on his cheek when they twirl suddenly, he's painfully aware of all of it, and Julian can't quite calm himself down. It's the kind of excitement that doesn't settle, it bubbles in the pit of your stomach and flutters around, leaving your cheeks red and your breathing labored and that's where Julian is left right now. They haven't exchanged a word since they started dancing, but it's not from a lack of want or a loss of words, it's more like they're on a tightrope, unsure of who should break the taut silence and speak first.

Saskia isn't horrible at dancing, Julian thinks, as they spin again, a little wide, but she's definitely new at it and clumsy. Her spins are too wide, her steps are either too large or short and choppy, and Saskia still has this innate need to want to lead when Julian is trying to, but she's determined. Any time she makes a mistake, Julian can almost feel the way Saskia compartmentalizes it and stows that information away, as if saying, alright, that didn't work, so let's try something else next time. And even though they haven't spoken yet, Julian finds himself enjoying this dance immensely, in a way he wasn't expecting.

Which is why it's so crushing when it gets interrupted and by...her of all people.

Julian can only hear the clack of her heels as she approaches Julian and Saskia, as well as smell her perfume, but what really clues him in to the Queen's presence is the way Saskia's hands tighten on his shoulder and in his hand, the way only the Queen can make people react. Julian slows down naturally and lets Saskia slow down with him, and he breaks apart from her, but keeps his right hand in Saskia's, if not for her comfort, then definitely for his. Julian bows dutifully, and he feels Saskia sweep into a clumsy curtsy next to him. If it was anyone else, they might find Saskia's lack of curtsying skills endearing, but the Queen is probably looking down upon her for it.

"Mother." Julian greets as he straightens back up.

Saskia does the same next to him, and if she's nervous after that brief display of nerves, Julian can't tell. "Queen Mariana, it's a pleasure."

The Queen makes an acknowledging noise, but an unfriendly one at that. "Saskia Conlaed, if I'm recalling correctly?" The Queen asks, though Julian and most likely Saskia knows it's just a tactic by the Queen. Of course the Queen knows each and every one of Julian's Selected by name and face, especially the lone Six in the competition.

"Yes, your Majesty."

"I must admit, I'm a bit surprised at your ability to dance so well." The Queen says, then quickly adds, "For a Six, of course."

Julian can feel his cheeks flush in equal parts embarrassment for the Queen's behavior, anger on Saskia's behalf for being talked down to, and frustration that there's nothing he can do except for let the Queen say her piece and ride this all out. "Mother, she's dancing wonderfully." Julian cuts in, trying for a smile, but knows it probably looks more like a grimace.

"I agree, Julian." The Queen replies airily, and he knows – he doesn't even have to guess – that the Queen's dark eyes are trained solely on Saskia, pinning the woman down with her stare. Julian can't imagine Saskia is wilting under the stare, she doesn't seem like the kind of person to, but Julian wonders what her face does look like in that moment. Is she defiant, staring right back at the Queen without a hint of fear, or is she more subtle about it? Eyes dropped to the floor in a display of obedience, but really just playing her hand? "It's clear you've never danced before, but you're doing quite well for such a novice."

"Thank you, your Majesty." Saskia thanks. There's a shuffle, and Julian knows the Queen is calling this a victory in her mind, putting Saskia down like she did, however slight it was, but then, Saskia speaks up. "But I've actually danced quite a bit before this."

"Oh, is that right?" The Queen questions, her voice tight, displeased that Saskia has kept the conversation going. Julian, on the other hand, is delighted and confused. On the one hand, he's impressed that Saskia didn't let the Queen's pretentiousness bring her down, but on the other hand, what is she doing?

Saskia lets out a hum, and Julian wonders if she's smiling at the Queen or if her face is impassive, not giving anything away. "Sure. Nothing like this – waltzing, I mean, but I've had my fair share of dancing. I'm pretty light on my feet."

"Yes, I'm sure you have plenty of opportunities to run in your life, haven't you. Away from the authorities, perhaps?"

Julian's eyes practically bug out of his head at the Queen's insinuation. "M-Mother!" He exclaims before he can stop himself. Julian goes to speak, but Saskia's hand in his stops him with a subtle squeeze. Julian's not sure if it's a warning to him not to speak up; Saskia's way of saying, 'Hey, I've got this,' or if it's supposed to be a comfort to Julian. Honestly, it's a little of both for him, so Julian lets out a breath and nods slightly and pulls back, leaving this to Saskia. If Saskia wants to handle the Queen on her own, if she thinks she can, then Julian believes she can.

"I won't deny that I've had to do some gritty things to survive, but that's what being a Six means, since we don't have much to live on." Saskia explains genially enough, but there's a slight edge to her low voice. It's not harsh toward the Queen, not really, more just hardened in general, as if speaking about her life as a Six isn't very pleasant for her. Julian's sure it isn't.

"Are you displeased with how we're running the country, Miss Conlaed?" The Queen asks, a sharp edge coming to her tone.

"Not at all, your Highness. I'm simply letting you know how we Sixes live. I'm sure you've got plenty on your plate, running Illéa as smoothly as you do. I thought you'd be pleased with an update, that's all." Saskia replies, her voice not changing in tone, but there is a caustic, almost sarcastic tinge to it that pleases Julian to no end.

The Queen lets out a hum of her own. "You would be wise to watch your tongue, Miss Conlaed." The Queen warns. "This is not the streets of Waverly, after all, this is Angeles, and we speak with class and respect toward those in greater positions than us."

"I've spoken to you exactly how you've spoken to me, your Majesty." Saskia says with a smile in her voice. "The same amount of respect and all."

Which is to say, none at all, but Julian has to suppress a grin when he realizes, at the same time as the Queen, that she can't call Saskia out on that, or else it would be calling herself out after all. Julian's sure everyone is watching them now, and all cameras are on their conversation. He wonders if everyone is just as mesmerized with how Saskia is conducting herself as much as Julian is. The amount of restraint she has and the way she's been keeping up with the Queen, beat for beat...it's nothing short of incredible.

"Mother, if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to my dance with Saskia." Julian breaks in, trying to dissolve the tense silence surrounding them.

As if the Queen suddenly remembered Julian was there, she places a stiff hand on his shoulder, one of the very, very few times she has touched him since the accident, and it immediately puts Julian on edge. Her hand is warm, almost too hot and tight where it lays on his shoulder. Julian finds himself discreetly leaning toward Saskia and away from his mother, seeking the company and comfort of a virtual stranger's touch over his mother's. If the Queen notices, she doesn't say anything, but keeps her hand firmly on his shoulder. "Of course, dear. As I said before, it's very impressive dancing for a Six. You must be so proud of yourself."

The Queen is practically sneering, from the pure derision in her voice, but Saskia doesn't take the bait. "I am, your Highness." Saskia answers, and Julian's surprised to hear the amount of honesty and vulnerability in her voice. "It's not a big deal for any of you to dance here, in your fine gowns and waltz, you've done this all your life, but it's a great accomplishment for me." Saskia admits quietly. Julian squeezes her hand encouragingly, wanting to hear more, if not for the explanation, then for the softness in Saskia's voice that Julian hasn't heard before. "When you have the privilege of learning these grand dances your whole life, actually doing it doesn't seem like anything great, but I'm learning as I go, and I think I'm doing a wonderful job."

"Don't get too cocky, Miss Conlaed, it's unbecoming." The Queen warns.

"I'm not cocky, your Highness, I'm proud." Saskia explains.

There's another tense silence between the three of them and Julian is afraid the Queen is going to challenge Saskia again, speak down to her, make her feel bad for simply being all because she's a Six, but the Queen simply lets her hand fall unceremoniously from Julian's shoulder. "I'm glad to hear that, then. We don't need anymore egos in the palace as it is. Prince Constantine is more than enough." A pause. "Julian, when you turn, tuck your left elbow in, you look like a chicken otherwise."

Julian's cheeks flush, but he nods. "Yes, Mother. Thank you."

The Queen steps away from the two of them. "You're not only quick on your feet, but quick-witted as well, Miss Conlaed." The Queen observes, and Julian's jaw almost drops to the floor when he hears the smallest amount of respect in her voice. "Keep your wits about you during your stay here, it will serve you well."

And with that, Queen Mariana walks away in the relative silence, Julian not realizing that the music had cut out during their confrontation(?) with the Queen. Julian all but collapses when the music begins to play again, and he lets Saskia tug their still connected hands until they're back in their previous positions.

Julian steps forward and Saskia falls back and they begin to dance again, and as soon as they move, Julian can't help the way he leans his head forward. "Saskia!" He exclaims breathlessly. "You!"

Saskia lets out a quiet sigh, almost a sight of defeat and Julian feels her nod. "I know, I shouldn't have spoken to her like that. I gotta be proper and all that, but honestly, she started it and-"

"No, Saskia!" Julian laughs, squeezing their joined hands. "That was amazing!" He gushes, sure his cheeks are ruddy in his excitement. "No one ever speaks to her like that, not even my dad! I mean, Connie does sometimes, but Connie speaks to everyone like that, and even then, he usually backs down after a while! But you!" Julian shakes his head. "You just kept going."

"You...you're happy that I basically disrespected your mother?" Saskia asks, sounding a bit stunned, and understandably so.

Julian nods, fully aware of how silly that sounds. "You were right before. She did start it, she always does! She was giving you crap but you gave it back and you were still respectful and it was just...it was awesome." Julian says simply. "She's not...she's not a bad person, but she has her opinions like everyone does."

Saskia lets out an unamused huff. "An opinion of all Sixes because of how poor we are and how we have to live because of it."

"I never said it was a fair opinion, or a good one." Julian points out. "In fact, it's a sucky one."

"A shitty one."

Julian grins. "A real nasty, shitty opinion." He amends. Saskia lets out a rumbling laugh at that and Julian smiles triumphantly, glad to get some humor out of such a tense situation overall. "My mother...she'll never apologize for how she speaks to anyone, especially not someone she views so below her, so if I may, I'd like to apologize on her behalf."

"Prince Julian, that's not necessary, really." Saskia says.

"I know, but I want to do it. She never will, but you deserve one, because she won't stop. She was impressed by you and how you spoke back to her here, even though she'll never admit it, but that won't stop her from speaking to you like that again and again for as long as you're here." Julian explains, biting on his lower lip. "And it's...it's not fair, at all. And I felt like such a dick for not being able to do more."

It's Saskia's turn to squeeze Julian's hand in comfort. "You did enough, trust me." Saskia says with a smile in her voice, turning it warm, and making Julian's chest feel warm, too. "I...I'm not the kind of person to ask for help, you know? I don't want anyone to fight my battles for me, and that's not just the Six in me talking, that's me, Saskia, as a person talking. I'm more than capable of holding my own, so you just being there next to me and letting me do my thing..." Saskia trails off, considering her next words. "That was more than enough."

Julian smiles softly at that, and they lapse into a silence as they continue to dance along the floor, swaying gently. It's a nice atmosphere now, a calm one, a silence now built on a companionship, mutual respect and gratefulness for each other, especially after what just went down with the Queen. Unlike with Leona, Julian feels like there could be potential with Saskia, just from the way her touch grounds him like it is now. If Julian didn't have Saskia's sure hand in his or feeling her soft breaths puffing against his cheek, he might be overthinking the whole ordeal with the Queen, instead of just letting it be what it was: a shitty situation. Leona will be a good friend to Julian, he can feel it, but that's all she'll ever be, but Saskia...she could also be a great friend, but Julian can easily imagine her being more, too.

And it's an exciting realization, isn't it? Lulu held the same potential, a possible relationship, a future stretching out before them, and now Saskia is the same. And Julian's so happy to know that now. Of course, it would be nice to just know in an instant who he's supposed to marry like his father claims it was like with the Queen, but maybe Julian prefers this a little more. At least this way, Julian's able to meet these women and get to know them and build something with all of them, instead of just choosing one woman and sending the rest home quickly. He gets to meet them and know them and understand things in life that he wouldn't know otherwise. Lulu could teach him the simple ways of a country life, Leona taught him about the passion some people have in their lives, like baking, and Saskia is teaching him about a caste that, truthfully, Julian knows nothing about.

The music gently fades out, and Julian twirls Saskia one last time, before they break apart. The silence stretches between them, even as they bow and curtsy to each other, but it's still a happy, comfortable silence. Julian is almost loathe to break it, but he does just so he can talk to Saskia one last time. "It was a pleasure dancing with you, Saskia."

Saskia snorts at Julian's polite tone. "Yeah, you too." She answers casually, causing Julian to chuckle.

"And hey, thanks for verbally handing my mom's ass to her." Julian whispers with a wink.

That gets a loud, surprised laugh out of Saskia and Julian walks away from her feeling light and a bit triumphant at getting such a reaction out of her. Saskia is by no means emotionless and is actually pretty expressive, but she holds herself back a lot, and Julian wonders if it's out of habit, out of necessity. Whatever causes her to do it, Julian's glad he got to break her out of it, even for just a moment. Julian crosses back to the middle of the ballroom, where Kieran is waiting, and he grabs Julian's arm and walks him back over to where they were earlier in the evening.

"Prince Julian, that was...rather intense." Kieran whispers, sounding a bit awed.

"You're telling me." Julian snorts. "Saskia kicked ass, though."

Kieran chokes on his breath at the sentence. "Ah, yes, well, I wouldn't have said it so crassly, but I agree, she certainly held her own against the Queen."

"Tonight's just been crazy all around, huh, Kieran?" Julian smiles warily, feeling exhausted all of a sudden.

Kieran hums his agreement. "While I anticipated some excitement tonight, I don't think I expected anything like this. An elimination and a confrontation between a Selected and the Queen...it's all very shocking indeed."

Julian grins. "I'm sure Francesa is having the time of her life with all this."

Kieran leans into Julian's personal space. "You should have heard the shriek of excitement she let out during Saskia and Queen Mariana's talk." Kieran says conspiratorially. "It would have made you go deaf."

"Mm. A blind, deaf prince. The Queen would probably disown me if I lost my hearing, too." Julian jokes, trying to keep his voice light, but it falls flat, because they both know that's not too far out of the realm of possibilities when it comes to the Queen. "Anyway," Julian sighs, "who should I dance with next?"

"First, take a breath and gather your bearings." Kieran instructs. "And take this, it's a bottle of water." Julian holds his hand out and jumps slightly at the shock of cold he gets when he wraps his hand around the bottle. "It's cold." Kieran belatedly warns.

"Yeah, Kieran, thanks." Julian pauses, gripping the bottle a touch tighter, before he looks up again. Julian drinks the water down quickly, unaware of how thirsty his actually was – or, maybe, the cold helps ground him in the midst of his thoughts starting to wander again. He's only danced with three women, all so completely different from each other, yet Julian is already exhausted. It's not that Julian doesn't want to dance with his Selected, he does, of course he does, but having to dance over and over again, while trying to navigate a conversation and figure out his own feelings...it's

So, so tiresome.

Julian crushes the water bottle in his hand when he feels the last of the water go and he holds it out to Kieran with a sheepish grin. He can imagine what Kieran's face must look like – eyebrows raised in surprise, lips quirked, maybe even a hand on his hip as he observes Julian. "My, I didn't know the crown prince was a cow." Kieran remarks dryly.

Julian blinks. "Are...did you...did you just call me fat?"

"No, sir!" Kieran gasps. "Cows can drink up to over twenty gallons of water. I was merely comparing you to one since you drank your water so quickly."

"Why do you know that?"

Kieran huffs. "It's a common fact. Everyone knows that."

"I don't think they do, Kieran."

"Sir, we don't have time to go over the likelihood of the public's basic knowledge." Kieran sighs, though there's a touch of amusement in his voice. Julian knows Kieran has to put on a facade of the withered employee with Julian, but he knows Kieran secretly loves to banter with Julian like this. "I think it's time for your next dance."

Julian nods, tamping down his sudden rush of nerves. He knows what to expect now, he's had three dances, all so different from each other in terms of tone and outcome, but Julian has a handle on this now. He knows, absently, that he spent too long having his freak out earlier to dance with all of his Selected, as unfair as that is to the women, but there's still plenty of time to dance with a lot of them. And it's a little bit scary and wholly intimidating. And who should he dance with next? Lulu was the perfect first choice, as someone who he enjoyed talking to immensely, and Leona because Julian didn't have much of an impression of her at first and wanted to get to know her better. And although Julian didn't pick Saskia, Kieran was absolutely spot-on in picking her: she was the perfect blend of casual and strong that Julian needed after the unexpected elimination.

Maybe he needed the quiet acceptance of Violet or Vienna, or maybe he needed a laugh or two from someone like Ava, Ophelia, or Bree. Or maybe someone more tough to figure out like Sylvaine or Gigi? Julian bites down on his lip, unsure of where to go from here. Sure, it would be nice to have Kieran pick for him again, but he can't leave all the dances into Kieran's hands, can he? This is Julian's Selection, which means he has to make all of the decisions and choices, including who to dance with. Julian could make it easier on himself and dance with one of the women who didn't make much of an impression on him before dancing with one of the ones that did. Who knows, maybe one of those women that he wrote off so quickly before could be his One.

But then Julian thinks about the sweetness of girls like Evie and Lexi or the duo of Louise and Kimmie, and sighs. Yeah, probably not. Those other women, while nice, simply didn't hit something within Julian like some of the other women did and to compare them, well...it would just be unfair.

"Prince Julian?" Kieran asks, tearing Julian from his thoughts.

Julian rubs his face tiredly. "Sorry, did I drift again?" He asks quietly.

"Yes, sir, but not for very long." Kieran affirms. "Are you thinking about who to dance?"

"Got it in one, Kieran."

There's a pause. "You know, Francesa is looking to interview you. Perhaps you could meet with her first before you go and dance with another Selected." Kieran suggests gently. "It might be nice to clear your head and answer some questions instead of dancing for a second. Maybe Francesa could even help you find out the next Selected to dance with."

Julian pauses to think about it. Kieran's not wrong, he thinks, he never is, and although Francesa is A Lot on a good day, it would be nice to talk with her for a little bit and get out of his own head. Connie and Francesa are a lot alike in that sense. They're not the best people when it comes to comforting others in the most traditional sense, but they're masters at being able to distract and entertain people when they need to get out of their own head. Lou and Kieran, on the other hand, are the traditional comforters: the ones they have the soothing, reassuring touches, and the right words to make all of the bad thoughts go away.

If Julian blocks out all the other sounds around him and really focuses, he can just barely make up Francesa's naturally projecting voice and smiles when he hears it rise and dip dramatically as she gives an interview. Yeah. This would be fine. He'd go and talk to Francesa, clear his mind again, and then dance with his Selected.

"Yeah, let's go ahead and do that, Kieran." Julian says decidedly. Julian wraps his arm into Kieran and his valet pulls Julian closer to him, probably without even thinking, and it causes Julian to break out into a grin.

"Excellent choice, sir."

Yeah, he's got this.

…...

They sent the note months ago and yet Kieran has done nothing. Yes, the young man is busy, but time is running short. They don't know what the sabotuer is planning, or who it is (God, think – think! Who was it?), but all they know is the Selection is about to be well underway after the ball and something is being planned...something big, they can feel it in their blood, underneath their skin. There's a tenseness in the palace it seems no one else can feel but them and the saboteur, but who could it be?

Kieran was a bright boy and loved Prince Julian fiercer than anyone else in the palace, they know Kieran would gladly lay down his life for the Prince, but maybe he wasn't the right choice to send the message to. He was constantly working, always by the Prince's side, and if he wasn't with Prince Julian, then he was attending to his other duties or being bothered by Prince Constantine (Though, if they can be frank, Kieran doesn't seem too bothered by the young prince's company). Maybe Kieran simply forgot about the note – maybe he meant to take it seriously and go looking for the saboteur in the way that they can't, but had too much on his plate and held it off until he forgot entirely about it.

Or maybe...maybe Kieran gave up before he ever truly started? It's a possibility, of course, this isn't what Kieran signed up for when he became Prince Julian's valet, and really, he wasn't a detective for God's sake, he was a valet! Kieran knew how to do up ties and polish shoes, and how to train the prince to conduct himself in polite company, not look for a murderer of three people. So maybe Kieran figured this too, and decided it wasn't worth the extra time and effort – wasn't worth shirking off his duties to go and investigate something that's way over Kieran's head.

They sigh, pacing, clutching the pen in their hand and shake their head. No. That's not like Kieran, not at all. Kieran is dependable and cared for everyone in the vehicle the day of the accident, they're sure of it. Kieran must have forgotten, surely, but maybe this note will help him get back on track. They nod to themselves, making up their mind. This is the best way, they think, they don't want to reveal themselves and get involved in all this, they have too much to worry about than to deal with the reprecussions of bothering a saboteur and murderer.

Still...they have a tiny bit of information and what they can do with it...however little they can do with it, they will, so with that, they get to work. Kieran will find this note later, much later, tucked underneath his door. Maybe he'll see it as a note of help or maybe as a threat. In any case, they hope Kieran can note their urgency and will heed their words. He needs to, for the future of Prince Julian, the Selection, and Illéa as a whole.

The saboteur is at work – hurry, you don't have much time.

They will strike again.

And this time, no one will be left to tell the tale.

Hello, everyone! Thank you so much for your patience with these slow chapter updates of mine! As it is, we're officially out of the Welcoming Ball! I've decided to end the ball here and we'll start on the dates in the next chapter and really get the story going! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! The next ball we have the in the future will hopefully be much smaller as we eliminate more girls.

Speaking of eliminations, I would love to extend a big thank you to AnnaDaCorgi for Leona! She was so lovely to write for, but she is, unfortunately, our first Selected to be officially eliminated. This won't be the last we see of her, I promise!

I'd love to know your thoughts on our surprise elimination, Saskia and Julian's dance, and the cliffhanger I left us on! Muahahahaha! And again, thank you all for your continued love and patience and I hope to have this next chapter out sooner than this one was! :D

And, if you would, I'd love to see who you would all be interested in having the first date. Who knows – you may influence me!

Have a wonderful day!

~Rose :)