Chapter Twenty-Eight: Sharing
He sensed Luke and Leia trying to sneak up on him in his room, long before they both tried to pounce on him. Therefore, when they did pounce, he used the Force to throw pillows in their way, causing the two to squeal and fall back in surprise. They threw the pillows to the side and crawled on the bed, laying on their stomachs with their heads propped up in their hands by their elbows.
"Do you ever sleep?" Leia asked with a sigh.
"With two little monsters like you running around, never," Vader replied blandly but knowing the twins sensed he was playing with them.
He always had to be careful when around the twins. Ahsoka had been right in her observation that he held back from them. It was tempting to just bask in the warm light of his children's presence, but a luxury he couldn't afford if he wanted to keep them safe. If he told them about Padmé, if he opened up such a wide door to his former self, he might tread paths not as dark in the Force as the one that Sidious expected him to walk. Just opening himself to a path that wasn't as dark might gain his master's notice and expose the twins long before Ahsoka had built up her rebellion to a strong enough point, and he'd gained enough of the fleet's loyalty to challenge Palpatine and win. It was a risk he couldn't allow himself to take, even if that meant more distance from his children than he already had. Even if it meant the furthest he could go in showing them affections was a nudge in the Force here and there. Or not sending them away when they sought him out, even if he was trying to work on his never-ending Imperial duties.
The looming threat of Palpatine was why he never asked Ahsoka where they settled and where she kept them when she was running missions, though Vader had his guess. In addition to talking about "Aunt Diya" (Vader loathed to think how much the girl was corrupting Luke and Leia), they also frequently mentioned Uncle Bail and Aunt Breha. But suspecting was one thing. Knowing was quite another.
"We can never sneak up on Mama either," Luke said with a rueful sigh. Then he frowned and asked, "Are you feeling better this morning, Daddy?"
"Better?" Vader asked.
"You were upset last night."
"Who told you that?"
"No one." Luke then shrugged. "I could just tell."
"I could just tell. I told you," Leia corrected, reminding both Vader and her brother that she was the empath of the two, though that didn't translate to being sympathetic. Luke was the sympathetic one.
"Right," Luke acknowledged with a roll of his eyes, even at this age, learning that sometimes it was better to just not argue with his sister.
"I'm fine," Vader replied.
"So… can you answer my question now?" Leia asked slowly, as though she didn't believe him for a second when he told her he was fine.
"What question?" he asked, deciding to play dumb with her for now.
Leia narrowed her eyes at him and turned her lips into an annoyed scowl. "Was our first mother your heart?"
Leia wasn't going to let it go. Neither of his children were going to let it go. They were too much like him in that respect. They would grow up sticking their nose in places they shouldn't, trying to find out what they sought. If there were any evidence to be found of his and Padmé's relationship, Luke and Leia would eventually go poking around to find it, despite his and Ahsoka's discouragement. That could endanger them more Vader's proximity to Palpatine could because there was no telling what people and protocols the Emperor had in place for the express purpose of catching those who went snooping.
Better that he gave them something to quell that curiosity rather than inadvertently encourage it by his refusal to say anything.
"I don't know if she was my heart," Vader answered because he still didn't grasp the concept of it even with Ahsoka's explanation. "She was my angel."
"Angel?" Luke repeated.
"What's that?" Leia asked.
"The most beautiful creature in the universe."
"Was our first mother really? The most beautiful, I mean?" Leia continued.
"Yes."
"No way," Luke said with a huff. "No one is prettier than Mama," he declared in a way that only a young child enamored with their female parent could be.
"What has Ahsoka told you about your mother?" Vader asked.
The two children held up their fingers and began ticking off things while alternating back and forth to answer Vader's question.
"Mama told us that she and our first mother were friends before we were born," Luke began.
"And that I look like her," Leia continued. "And that she was smart and kind."
"And that she was our mother first. And when she died and couldn't be our mother, she left us to Mama to be our mother."
A gentle, simplistic way of explaining a situation that was a harsh, complicated mess. But Luke and Leia were only nearly six. They didn't yet comprehend the complexities and nuances of life. Hadn't been exposed to harsh and unfair realities that would give them the emotional complexity to be able to know and understand the whole truth. He wondered what they would think when he eventually had to explain his total absence for the first two years of their lives, what they would think when the excuse of having an important job was no longer enough to explain his sporadic presence now. By comparison, giving them simple answers to their questions about Padmé were a mercy. Something he could easily enough give them despite the risk.
"Oh yeah," Luke suddenly exclaimed as something else came to him. "Mama said that she was from Naboo. She showed us pictures. I wish we could go there."
Vader was eventually going to spend the rest of his life apologizing to Luke and Leia for being partly responsible, if not totally responsible, for their mother's death. They might even grow to hate him one day, something he wouldn't blame them for. But now, he could share with them the good things about Padmé and his relationship with her, unmarred by the terrible way he hurt her in the end.
"Well, why don't we go there?" he asked. At his children's confused looks, he continued, "Naboo. Let's go there."
The twins bounced up on the bed in excitement at the prospect of the trip, and then both agreed to tell Ahsoka about it. Predictably, Ahsoka didn't share their enthusiasm.
"Naboo!" she exclaimed to Vader, who had decided to follow the twins when they told her.
It had been a while since Vader did something that surprised her and made her lose her composure. Probably since before the end of the Clone Wars. They disagreed on what to do about the Jedi, but she wasn't surprised by his stance, just irritated by it. She was quick to resort to blunt, biting remarks or outright insults; was very frequently brash and lacked caring to use discretion and tact about harsh truths with him; and generally dealt with him with practiced, longsuffering ease, expecting for him to challenge her or cause some difficulty. But rarely was her reaction to things so unguarded as the surprise and speechlessness he'd rendered her to upon the twins telling her his plans to take them to Naboo.
"Isn't it great, Mama?" Luke asked.
Ahsoka opened and closed her mouth multiple times before finally she set her mouth in a firm line and narrowed her eyes at him, the chevrons of her lekku darkening in anger. Vader tried and failed to hold back a smirk. A visit from the twins and Ahsoka wasn't complete if Ahsoka didn't find a reason to be angry with him. Last time, it had been because he'd unwittingly tricked her into allowing him to eventually eliminate the Jedi. Conditional as that agreement was. But he was sure the Jedi would not disappoint in their reaction to his rise to power. Their elimination was inevitable. And if Ahsoka hadn't had an inkling of that, she wouldn't have been angry at him for deceiving her. Deciding to take Luke and Leia to Naboo promised her angry reaction to be worse. The mere idea of even putting Luke and Leia anywhere near danger promised to ignite her temper.
"Luke. Leia. Wanna give me and your dad the room for a minute?" Ahsoka asked without taking her eyes off Vader.
If they sensed anything amiss, the twins didn't show it or didn't care in their excitement as they went to tell Artoo their exciting news.
No sooner did the door slide closed behind him did Ahsoka exclaim, "What the hell, Vader?"
Vader cocked an eyebrow at her, while Ahsoka took a few seconds to gain some of her composure back, looking like the stern general she was, even sitting up in her bed in a sleep shirt.
"What in the universe are you thinking deciding to take them to Naboo? Of all places!"
Even though he knew very well the risks involved in taking Luke and Leia to Padmé's home planet, Vader decided it would be more fun to aggravate her first. So he shrugged and said, "Why not?"
"Why not?" Ahsoka said in an even tone, though the darkening of her chevrons told him his nonchalant answer had its intended effect. "I can name quite a few reasons. Let me know when you'd like me to stop."
Vader made a gesture with his hand to proceed, though he knew Ahsoka would do so anyway.
"It's Naboo. The Emperor's homeworld. An Imperial stronghold. Even though I know the Naboo hate the Empire, the rebellion can't get any traction with their queen because of how locked down that planet is. The galaxy thinks Padmé died pregnant. I didn't even think that would work when I changed the medical records before I left and mindwiped the medical droids and tricked the living medics. I was sure the Naboo would do their own investigation into her death and conclude otherwise. But they didn't. Why would you take Luke and Leia there and risk someone seeing them and figuring out that Leia looks a lot like a certain dead, former queen whose child was buried with her? Not to mention the Emperor tracks your every move. He's certainly going to get reports of a man in a big black suit walking around Naboo with two children. I could keep going. But I really don't think I need to."
"You're right. About all those things," Vader conceded, "which is why it's safe for me to take them there in the first place. Naboo is the last place Palpatine would think I or anyone in danger from the Empire would go. Padmé wasn't the only brown-haired, dark-eyed woman on Naboo. All her handmaidens and decoys were proof of that. And I'm not anywhere near stupid enough to go Naboo with the twins in the suit."
"You mean you can go to Naboo without it?" Ahsoka asked, tilting her head at him in curiosity. "I mean… you won't pass out because you can't breathe."
Vader decided not to be angry. He supposed there wasn't a much more tactful way to put that.
"I have modified my treatment plan and gotten strong enough to survive without the suit in a normal environment in a limited capacity. As long as I'm not running headlong into battle every day, I'll be fine," he assured.
He determined long ago that if he was going to keep Ahsoka to her end of their conspiracy that he had to keep to his own. Not to mention, he would accept no less than peak physical condition possible from her, so he wouldn't accept anything less from himself. It started with actually looking at the treatment plan that Palpatine initially put him on. He'd always suspected the man was sabotaging his treatment. But Vader hadn't known how much until he finally was able to securely retain a third party medic with no ties to look over the treatment and the designs of the respirator in his suit. In essence, he was being poisoned. The supposed treatment from the Emperor stunted any progress he could have made toward healing. Eventually, if he'd kept taking the treatment, if he hadn't found a reason to care what his treatment was, it feasibly would have started to kill him. Not quickly. The Emperor needed his top enforcer, but certainly enough that Vader would have always been dependent on the man. That Vader would have been easy to get rid of and be replaced with one of his master's many dark side adepts otherwise if Vader got out of hand.
"Modified?" Ahsoka asked.
"A very complex combination of steroids and other medication to promote healing and reduce pain and some engineering modifications of the suit that escape the Emperor's notice," he explained.
"Is that a better option than pulmonodes?"
"Pulmonodes?"
"They're a type of inorganic organ replacement. Breha has them from an accident when she was younger. You can see the glow of Breha's because she didn't want to get them encased in new skin growth," Ahsoka said. "They're more accessible than transplants and cloning tech, but they can't take as much stress. It's why Breha had issues carrying a child to term."
"You're close with Alderaan's queen," Vader commented.
Ahsoka shrugged. "We have a lot in common."
"I don't know if it's a better option than that. I do know that this treatment is only temporary. The team on my case says that eventually, I'll have to have a transplant. Nothing I have to worry about now. Nothing I can worry about. The surgeries and follow up treatment would take months away from the Empire that I can't afford."
"You mean the emperor would notice."
Vader didn't need to confirm that. It hadn't been a question.
"I still don't like this," Ahsoka said, getting them back to the point at hand.
"It'll be fine. Palpatine's on Coruscant. And I haven't given him any reason to believe that I'm anywhere except Mustafar."
"What if he calls you?"
"He won't."
"How do you know that?"
"He won't," Vader replied tightly, failing to completely reign in his anger.
Something Vader constantly had to deal with was the competition and rivalry between him and Sidious' dark side adepts. At least, the competition and rivalry the adepts thought there was. Vader was secure in his place as the Sith apprentice (for now), but the adepts coveted his position and continually tried to undermine him. Sidious encouraged them, and most of the time, the adepts' attempts were little more than an annoying hindrance. But every now and then, they caused Vader a serious problem. Most recently, one phenomenally sabotaged the mission Sidious teamed them on. Vader salvaged the mission, accomplished the objective, and killed the adept, but Sidious still deemed it a failure. Vader silently took the Force lightning punishment, submerging himself in the dark side and keeping himself from doing or saying anything rash by remembering that his subjugation would not be in vain. After the punishment, the Emperor had ordered him to go on a fortnight retreat on Mustafar to renew his power in the dark side and redouble his efforts in keeping Order in the Empire. Palpatine wouldn't bother him before then barring extenuating circumstances. And if they were that bad, one of Vader's many subordinates would notify him first.
Not feeling like dwelling on his anger toward his master, Vader continued, "I'm not questioning your judgment keeping Luke and Leia in the Core, so give me the same courtesy and don't question mine about this. The same logic applies."
Ahsoka neither admitted or denied his guess about where she and the twins settled when they weren't with him.
"I'm not questioning your judgment." Vader raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I am questioning it. But not because I don't trust you with them. But because I don't trust trouble not to find you somehow while they're with you."
"That's… understandable," Vader admitted. "Good thing you'll be with us."
Vader had no illusions that Ahsoka would be left behind while he took the twins to Naboo. Still, she balked at the idea and gave a longsuffering sigh.
"Vader. I can't go to Naboo."
"If I can go to Naboo, you can go to Naboo, Ahsoka."
"No. I can't. I'm not human."
"I never noticed," Vader drawled.
"Are you serious?" Ahsoka asked with her arms crossed
Vader tilted his head at her, causing a genuinely frustrated look to cross the woman's features. One that was more frustrated than if Vader had even been trying to aggravate her again.
"The Empire right now has hundreds of anti-nonhuman policies. Policies strictly enforced on planets with a strong Imperial presence like Naboo. Just being seen there, on a mostly human planet, puts me at risk regardless of if anyone recognizes me. Even the gungans have been forced back into isolation and hiding on Naboo," Ahsoka explained.
"That is a problem," Vader agreed. "Don't worry. The retreat I'm taking the twins to is isolated. No one will ever get the chance to see you."
"That sounds like you plan on keeping me in a prison while you and the twins frolic through the Naboo plains and cities," Ahsoka responded dryly. She stared at him for a moment before saying, "You're really serious about this."
"I wouldn't have said it if I weren't. Besides, you were the one who said I shouldn't hold back so much with them. So I'm not."
Ahsoka was positively incredulous at that.
"I meant you should tell them stories about you and Padmé before bed. Not taking them to Naboo!"
"You're overreacting," Vader said, succeeding in riling her up further.
Ahsoka huffed as she threw the covers off her and got out of bed. Before she disappeared into the fresher, she snapped, "I swear this is some real pre-Empire Anakin Skywalker kriffing insanity, Vader."
The fresher door then slid closed behind her.
Behind him, the door slid open, revealing the twins standing in the doorway looking up at Vader.
"Mama didn't sound happy," Leia stated matter-of-factly.
"She just doesn't want anyone to do anything," Vader said casually.
Leia turned sharply to Luke and said smugly, "See. Even Daddy thinks so."
AN: These are my favorite chapters to write, but I don't have a lot to say about them. So I'll let you all be the judge.
Anywho, hope you enjoyed. Review please!