The camera opened onto a brightly-lit studio soundstage, with members of the press filling almost every seat in attendance. Freakazoid shook hands with the bespectacled Bandai executive, with three others looking on from the right and twin models sporting hairstyles similar to Freakazoid's standing on either side of a small pedestal, an object hidden under a cloth on the base of the top. Behind all of them were boxes that had a logo for "Freak-a-01". Mid-handshake, Freakazoid and the executive quickly turned to smile for the cameras as a few flashes went off. The two then exchanged bows as they disengaged from the handshake, with the executive then addressing the press.
"On behalf of the rest of us in the marketing group," she said, "I would like to thank Freakazoid for the great numbers from last week's chapter, AND for the ensuing successful launch of the brand-new 'Freak-a-01' special action figure tie-in to Neon Genesis Evangelion!" She then gave the two models their cue, and the one on the right proceeded to remove the cloth, revealing a highly-detailed action figure of the Freak-a-fied Unit-01. Applause and cheering ensued after the unveiling, as Freakazoid then turned to address the press as well.
"You're very welcome," Freakazoid said with an eager grin as he bowed. He then turned around, his back to the audience, as he began shuffling something in his hands. Upon realizing we were still watching, he turned a bit to face us, revealing the wad of cash in his hands that he'd been counting. He shrugged with a smile. "What can I say? It's part of my contract," he said before resuming his counting of the money in his hands.
Episode 19 - A Break from A Piece of the Action
"I can't believe I missed all of this," Misato, arm in a sling, mused with surprise as she watched the footage from the fight against the 13th Angel.
"Granted, we were both unconscious at the time," Ritsuko said with a slight roll of her eyes, a bandage wrapped around her head. The two of them, along with Kaji, were being briefed on the battle as Maya walked them through the events of that day.
"Overall, we were very fortunate that both Unit-03 and its pilot were successfully recovered," Maya said as she concluded the report. "Although strangely, when we looked over Unit-01's internal programming, we found something really surprising."
"Which was...?" Ritsuko asked with an arched eyebrow.
"It must have happened while Freakazoid took control of the EVA," Maya theorized, "but the Dummy System was deleted from Unit-01. And it wasn't by Freakazoid's hands."
Now it was Ritsuko's turn to be surprised, though part of her suspected who the culprit was. "We were really lucky then," she said. "If it had successfully activated in its unfinished state, it would've been fatal for Unit-03's pilot."
"Thank goodness for small favors then, eh?" Kaji chimed in. The others nodded in agreement.
"Speaking of, how's Toji doing?" Misato asked.
"He's currently resting in NERV medical," Maya replied with a small smile. "The other pilots are visiting him right now."
NERV Medical, around the same time...
Toji was sitting up in his hospital bed as Shinji, Asuka and Rei told him about what happened while he'd been out cold in Unit-03. The more weirder and wackier it got, the wider his eyes became.
"That's...definitely somethin' I didn't expect on my first day," Toji said with a scratch of his head.
"Believe me, I thought the same thing," Asuka said as she shook her head. "Just like that, another Angel battle got turned into a cartoon. (A cartoon that didn't make sense...)"
"Well, least ya can't blame Shinji for stealin' your thunder," Toji said with a mild chuckle, resulting in Asuka elbowing him in the right arm. "Ow! Hey watchit, I'm recoverin' here!"
"Be grateful for Hikari's sake I'm leaving you in one piece," Asuka said sarcastically.
"I'm just glad you're in one piece, period," Shinji said. "Other than that...welcome aboard, rookie."
Toji gaped at hearing this, while Asuka smiled a bit on seeing her beau show a little moxie.
"I just wish I didn't have to stay here any longer," Toji complained.
"It is only to keep you under observation, to ensure there is no contamination of any sort," Rei said. "And even then, it is only for 48 hours."
"Still, I'm startin' to see why Shin-man hates hospitals," Toji replied, before turning to address us with a smile. "Not that you kids reading this shouldn't go to the hospital if ya ever need to."
The other pilots then turned to face us as well, also smiling.
"He's right, you know," Asuka added. The shot then cut to some live-action footage of a hospital's fypical goings-on. "After all," she continued via voiceover, "hospitals help you get better when you're sick or seriously injured. Or if you've got a foreign object stuck up your nose..."
"They are staffed by highly-trained, dedicated professionals committed to doing their best to heal you and get you back on your feet-sometimes literally," Rei contributed.
"Plus," Shinji said as a shot opened on him getting food at a hospital's commissary, "contrary to popular belief, the food served in hospitals is very high-quality stuff."
Announcer: "This segment was brought to you by the National Federation of Hospitals and Clinics of Japan. Now, back to our story."
Meeting with the SEELE council, yet again around that same time...
Am I glad for the amount of prep time given, Gendo thought to himself as he listened to the rest of the council's discussion. Before the meeting had started, Gendo had managed to acquire the adhesive remover he'd ordered in no time flat, and with Fuyutsuki's help managed to dissolve much of the glue holding that dag-blamed rainbow wig on his head. (Only a few small flakes of dried glue remained, but those would easily be removed with a shower at home.) Add in the spare suit jacket in his office, and none of the council would be the wiser with regards to anything odd happening to him the previous day.
"Now then, on to the business at hand," Armando Gutierrez said as he looked Gendo's way, disapproval in his tone. "The, shall we say, unusual way in which the battle with the 13th Angel was resolved." He and Gendo both traded steely, unyielding gazes as they looked for any possible openings to exploit.
"Freakazoid's intervention was, as always, completely unexpected on our part," Gendo said, "Rest assured, our future attempts at capture or elimination will prove to be more effective. I have doubled Boa-Magnon's pay, as a start. Yet, I will reluctantly admit, it is thanks to him that we now have an additional operational Evangelion and pilot."
"That may be true," Gutierrez replied, "yet still, Freakazoid's apprehension must remain a top priority." He paused a moment as something else occurred to him. "What of your head of Section-2?"
Gendo sighed before he answered. "Unfortunately," he began to say, "both Captain Chiron and his number two man, Sato, have elected to make use of all their accumulated vacation days." For a moment, he slightly grimaced. "Apparently, they'd accumulated a lot of them..."
"I see," Gutierrez replied. "To that end, I will be forwarding you some schematics to construct a device for Boa-Magnon's use." He then pulled up a small diagram of the device in question. "This will be able to detect Freakazoid's unique electromagnetic signature. For him, evading capture will be next-to-impossible with this device in-hand." He then swiped the diagram away. "I will also be contacting a colleague of mine for his assistance. He is just as set on Freakazoid's destruction as either of us. Expect word from him in a couple of weeks."
"Understood," Gendo replied. With that, the meeting adjourned. As the lights came back up, Gendo stood, and he and Fuyutsuki walked out of the meeting room, where the former tasked him with making arrangements for the next sync test, this time with Toji Suzuhara included.
The Freakalair, hours later...
"That has got to be one of the most convoluted villain plots I've ever heard of!" Freakazoid said. He, Kensuke, and R.O.D.D.Y. had been speaking with Naoko about the things he'd learned after conversing with Yui Ikari in the core of Unit-01. "And all because they think humanity's reached an evolutionary dead end? That's just...dumb! We've barely just begun!" He stood up as he continued to rant on. "We still haven't even gotten to the point where we're living like the future of Star Trek! Or at least The Jetsons! With the flying cars, the witty robot sidekicks, the instant food replicators...And these old fogeys don't wanna give us the time to actually reach those heights! It's, again, dumb!"
Even worse when you consider Commander Ikari's version of the plot, Kensuke added. I can't believe he wants to use Shinji like that! No wonder the guy always seemed so miserable.
"Now you're getting it," Freakazoid said.
"Aye, there've been many a villainous plot over the yeers," R.O.D.D.Y. added, "but b'tween this and Apple's marketin' strategy fer i-anythin', SEELE's and Ikari's definitely takes th' cake on this one!"
"And I paid the price for my unknowing part in it," Naoko commented sorrowfully. "But make no mistake, I'll help you stop them any way I can. I'm not going to let my Ritsuko sink further with him if I can help it!"
"Then we're gonna need a plan going forward," Freakazoid said. "And we're gonna need to get all the good ones at NERV on our side for this, starting with the pilots."
"Thankfully we're in luck," Naoko said, "I recently registered Fuyutsuki consulting with Ritsuko on the next wave of sync tests."
"Good, that'll be where Yui and Kyoko'll have a long-awaited reunion with Shinji and Asuka," Freakazoid affirmed.
We gotta be careful though, Kensuke warned, if these guys are as far-reaching as Shinji's mom said they are, they'll be out to make sure nothing stops them, which means you'll have a big target on your back.
"Ah, I wouldn't worry about that," Freakazoid confidently dismissed. "I'm a superhero! They never accounted for that in their plans! Besides, it's not like they're gonna up the stakes even more."
A secret lab facility underneath Silicon Valley, California, some time later...
A phone rang in the study of the secret underground complex hidden under a front company called "Trusty Brain LLC". Its occupant picked it up after putting down some reports he was going over, and held the receiver to where his ear would be.
"Hello? Trusty Brain LLC, what can I do for you?" the man asked.
"Greetings and salutations, old friend," Gutierrez said on the other line. "It's been quite a while now, hasn't it?"
"Ah, Armando, it indeed has been too long," the man. "How're things with you, lately?"
"Oh, they've been fine," Gutierrez replied casually. "I came out of hiding and usurped command of a secret cabal that's been controlling most of the world for the past decade, nothing too spectacular. And among their assets is NERV, believe it or not."
"Did you, now? That is surprising," the man said. "What brought this on, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Simple, really..." Gutierrez answered, a grim smirk on his face. "...He has returned."
There was a long pause as the man took those words in. His longtime arch-nemesis was back, after a decade-and-a-half out of action.
"What are you proposing?" the man asked with a grim curiosity.
"Tell me, my friend," Gutierrez began to answer, "have you ever visited Japan? It's very lovely this time of year."
"Now that you mention it, I have wanted to visit the land of the rising sun for some time," the man replied. "I've been a strong admirer of some of the technological innovations they've contributed to the world at large. Plus, the sheer variety of Kit-Kat bar flavors they've invented? Genius, truly genius."
"Indeed," Gutierrez agreed. "How soon can you make the trip?"
"I'll need to make some additional preparations before my departure," the man answered. "And given that the country appears to be the epicenter of the Angel attacks, I trust NERV has kept some of the genetic material of these creatures on-hand?"
"I'm guessing you have a small project in mind," Gutierrez guessed.
"Your guess is correct," the man replied. "I shall require a few samples for my purposes. I'll send you an outline of my ideas soon."
"I look forward to what you have come up with," Gutierrez said. "We shall chat again soon. Take care."
With that, both men hung up. At that moment, the man turned his chair around till he faced us. He was unusual in that his entire head resembled a large, exposed brain, very fitting considering his status as a notorious evil genius. An evil grin full of sinister anticipation appeared on his face, as if he were excited for a familiar challenge he hadn't faced for a long, long time.
"Bum-bum-BUUUUUUUMMMMMMM!" the Lobe intoned with no small amount of foreboding.
To be continued...
**Author's Note(s)**
First of all, personal milestone. At 65 reviews, this has been my most-reviewed story in my relatively short time on this site! Big thankaroonie to everyone who read my stuff from day one.
The opening bit with the toy launch riffs on the ending segment from "Hot Rods from Heck", which was all about the Freakmobile toyline. Of course, Bandai would probably be behind a Freak-a-01 action figure.
The hospital 'PSA' the pilots take us through is a slight update of the one from "The Wrath of Gutierrez", and also is a minor riff on the recently-discovered 'lost' Evangelion-themed AIDS PSA everyone was talking about a short while ago. (Just a different intended audience, though.)
At this point, Chiron and Sato won't be appearing in this story for the foreseeable future. (Don't wanna incur OrionPax09 and/or Mike313's wrath any more than I might have, if at all.)
At last, another major Freakazoid villain makes his debut in the story! What will his plan entail? That'll have to wait, since next chapter sees Boa-Magnon make another attempt on Freakazoid.
And now for some fun, featuring a Freakazoid villain not seen since episode 9 of the original TV show!
OMAKE 6 - (S)Not What They Expected
The alarms blared throughout the city and NERV HQ, as everyone scrambled to their stations. The pilots soon got into their EVAs and were rocketed towards the surface, where a weapons locker was waiting for them.
"Give me a sit-rep," Misato commanded.
"Pattern orange detected for now," Makoto reported.
"Object approaching in the next few minutes," Maya added.
Up above the city, Freakazoid, flying around on his jetpack, observed the EVAs as they got ready for battle. He then looked in the direction of the approaching threat. Seeing it through a pair of binoculars clued him in to just what it was. And what it was, was a very familiar nuisance.
Recognize it? Kensuke asked, wondering just what the thing was.
"Oh yeah, we've definitely met before," Freakazoid answered as he lowered his binoculars. "Though he does seem a smidge bigger than the last time. Think I'll let the pilots take this one. It'll provide a valuable...learning experience."
How so? Kensuke asked.
"You'll see," Freakazoid said as he then put his earpiece on, allowing him to listen in on the communiques between the EVAs and Central Dogma.
In the EVAs themselves, the pilots were starting to get antsy. (Well, one of them at least.)
"Come on, let's get this over with already!" Asuka demanded. Shinji swallowed a bit, Rei remained stoic, and Toji just stared with determination.
On the bridge, a pinging was finally heard at Makoto's console.
"Pattern detected!" he said, alerting the rest of the staff.
"Blue?" Ritsuko asked.
"No, it's...green?!" Makoto reported, surprised and confused by the reading.
"HUH?!" said nearly everyone. Soon they heard a roar that almost sounded like there was an underlying gurgle with it. Finally, the creature appeared in front of the EVAs. The pilots and the bridge crew were astonished and perplexed by its appearance. It resembled an enormous, glowing, upright blob of oozing green slime, with tentacle-like arms and a couple of bulbous eyes. Bubbles appeared and popped constantly all over its body.
"But if it's not an Angel..." Shinji began to ask.
"Then what the heck IS that thing?" Toji asked, finishing the question.
"I...AM..." the thing started to say in a deep, menacing voice, before something interrupted its train of thought as its 'face' began to scrunch up. It didn't take long for everyone to realize what was happening:
The creature was about to sneeze.
"AH...AH...AH...WAAAAAHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOO!...THE BOOGER BEAST," the creature finally managed to say.
The creature's sneezing deposited an enormous amount of mucus-like slime all over the place, covering the city and the EVAs. The staff on the bridge blanched and gagged at the sight.
"DIS-GUSTING...!" Ritsuko groaned with a shudder.
"Oh, that is just NASTY!" Misato said with a grimace.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," Maya added, even as she started to turn a bit green.
"Too late," Shigeru got out before sticking his face into a wastebasket.
It was even worse for the pilots.
"EEEEEEEEWWWWW!" Asuka exclaimed, recoiling with disgust. Shinji gagged at the thought of Unit-01 being covered in the gunk, and thanks to the synchronicity that came with piloting, he could actually feel it oozing all over, despite being in the plug.
"Nobody told me it'd be this gross!" Toji bemoaned. "I mean what is this, a Captain Underpants book?!"
The next person to say anything was the least likeliest, as Rei, an un-amused look on her face, then spoke up.
"Annnnnd, I quit. You win!" she said to the Booger Beast, as Unit-00's arms went up in a show of defeat, the blue EVA turning to head back to the launch bay. "Now someone get me a big box of Progressive Kleenex!"
Freakazoid then looked our way, a small, wry grin on his face. "I didn't say they wouldn't be learning the hard way now, did I?" he said with a knowing wink.