By the time Mothfall dragged herself back to camp, she was ready to sink into her nest and sleep for a moon. Now that the adrenaline from her meeting, which she had been psyching herself up for all moon, had worn off, her paws and fur ached. She couldn't focus well enough to judge the distance between herself and anything else, and she kept banging her paws against loose roots and pebbles as she limped home.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost didn't notice Ambereye waiting just outside the entrance for her. The medicine cat was talking to the camp guard, Birdsong, but he perked up when he saw her approach.
"Mothfall!" the golden-brown tom called out. "I've been waiting for you." He whisked her inside, tail resting over her shoulders. "How are you?" he asked in a low voice. "How did it go?"
Mothfall shook her head. "It's too soon to tell."
"Berrystar and Briarstreak didn't look very happy when they came back to camp."
"I was afraid of that."
He padded forward. "Come on, sleep in the medicine den with me tonight. I could use the company. Briarstreak took one look at me and insisted on sleeping in the warriors' den tonight." His whiskers twitched in amusement.
Affection warmed Mothfall's heart as she padded after the medicine cat, who had given her the perfect excuse to get out of an uncomfortable situations with Briarstreak. She drank in the familiar scents of the medicine den, easily sinking into her old nest. She placed Shortstone's flower at the edge of her nest, and breathed in its scent as she settled in. "Thank you," she murmured.
"Nonsense. I'm doing this purely for myself. I missed having your company in the medicine den." Ambereye tutted. He curled up in his own nest across from hers.
Despite how badly sleep beckoned her, she knew she couldn't answer its calls just yet. She squirmed in her nest. "I have to tell you something."
Ambereye raised his head. His eyes, one amber, one so muddy it was almost brown, flashed in the low light. "What is it?"
"You know how you asked me if I did all of those horrible things, and I said I had? That was a lie. I'd never done any of them. My father started those rumors, and I was trying to protect him."
She expected Ambereye to laugh, or call her mousebrained, or say that she was lying. But instead, he nodded. "Why are you telling me the truth now?"
"Because I don't care about protecting my father anymore," Mothfall mewed darkly. "And I should've trusted you to handle the truth."
Again, Ambereye nodded. "I can't force cats to accept my help," he mewed. "But if you want it now, then I'll give it to you. I always will."
Heart quieting, exhaustion overtook Mothfall, and she closed her eyes. Within heartbeats she was asleep, cloaked in darkness.
By the time she woke up the next morning, Ambereye had disappeared. Mothfall stretched and stumbled out of the den in time to see Ambereye exit the warriors' den, a grumbling Briarstreak at his heels. She smacked her lips, probably trying to ignore the lingering taste of her morning medicine. Once again, Mothfall felt a burst of affection for Ambereye, who had gone out of his way to keep Briarstreak from entering the medicine den.
As Ambereye approached, he touched his nose to hers in greeting. "Morning," he mewed. "I talked to Briarstreak. She's giving you the day off."
Mothfall's whiskers twitched. "How much do you want to bet she doesn't want to deal me after I delivered the bad news last night?"
Ambereye purred. "Whatever it is, I wouldn't bite the paw that feeds you. Take advantage of your little holiday."
"Of course." Mothfall started to pad towards the nursery, but halfway there she veered towards the warriors' den. She tiptoed over Birdsong, Grasseyes, Beechtail, and Shortleg, who were still asleep after a night of guarding or patrolling.
She nosed out her nest, and rooted for it. When she found her moth token, she nudged it, breathing in its comforting scent. She hadn't wanted to admit it to Shortstone last night, but the flower she had given her so many moons ago was little more than dust, now.
She picked up the token in her mouth, moving to put the cord over her neck, but decided against it. Instead, she wrapped it around her tail, so that the token poked out of her fur from the side of her tail. She tucked the flower Shortstone had given her last night in between the cords. Her fur was so long that it was barely noticeable, but knowing it was there warmed her heart. Her Clanmates would think it looked silly, but today, she needed all of the support she could get.
Toeing back out of the den, she made a beeline for the nursery. The kits were out playing, now, and when Ferntooth spotted Mothfall, she grinned and bounded over. "How'd it go?"
"Ambereye wanted to know the same thing," Mothfall purred as she rubbed her face against her sister's. "I wish I could tell either of you anything."
Mothfall and Ferntooth managed to finish most of their morning meal before their peace and quiet was disturbed by the kits. Blazekit, Runningkit, and Wildkit ran around them, calling each other names and tackling each other. When Blazekit pushed a stumblign Runningkit straight into Mothfall's side, almost knocking her over, Ferntooth rose to her paws. "Kits, that's enough. Your aunt doesn't need to be killed before she finishes eating breakfast."
"No, it's fine," Mothfall assured her sister before she could whisk the kits away. "Maybe talking to them is a good distraction. I can look after then, if you want."
"Are you sure?" Ferntooth's eyes grew wide. "They can be quite a pawful."
"I'm sure. They can't be any worse than when we were kits."
Ferntooth pressed her face against Mothfall's. "Thank you," she whispered. She shook out her dark ginger fur before padding over to Beelight and Troutpath. Her mates purred as she approached, and she flopped down in between them, grinning as they nuzzled her.
"Are you watching over us now?" Blazekit called out. They puffed their chest out, white spot on their chest flashing, as Mothfall glanced back in their direction. The kits had grown quickly since they had joined the Clan, and they were almost as big as her now. Runningkit and Wildkit gathered around their sibling, blinking up at Mothfall with large, innocent eyes.
She didn't mind looking after them; it would give her something to do to distract the roiling in her belly. She wasn't used to waiting on other cats to make decisions, and it didn't agree with her. As she readjusted her footing to better address the kittens, her paw buckled underneath her, and she winced. "We can play any game you want," she assured them. "But first, I need to do my morning stretches."
"Morning stretches?" Asked Wildkit, stepping over Runningkit to press closer.
"I have a coordination disorder. I have some trouble with my motor control, and these exercises are supposed to help."
"Can we try?" Wildkit asked, her yellow eyes wide.
"You should! You have terrible coordination!" Runningkit teased, pushing her sister over. As Wildkit stumbled, the brown-and-white molly snickered.
"Don't fight," Mothfall chided them, pushing Runningkit away from her sister with her paw. "Yes, you can all try them. You don't need a disorder to try. Follow along. See?" She stretched her paw out, stretching her claws as far as they would go, and then scrunching them together as tight as possible. The kits pushed together, eager to see and try for themselves.
However, it didn't take long for their training to turn into a wrestling match, and Mothfall watched with amusement as they tumbled away.
She flicked her ear, wondering why Adderkit wasn't joining in with his littermates. She spotted him sitting silently by the nursery; he was nosing at a leaf, pouring over it and feeling every nook and cranny with his paws. Mothfall wondered if he had trouble seeing, or if he was interested in medicine cat. She rose to her paws, intending to go talk to the lonely gray-and-white kit. She was interrupted by a squealing sound, and Blazekit wriggled out of WIldkit and Runningkit's dogpile. "Berrystar's standing under the Pinebranch!" she squealed. "Does that mean we're going to be made apprentices?"
"Already!" squealed Wildkit. "So fast!"
"No way, mousebrains. We're not old enough yet!" Runningkit chided. The three kits scampered over to join Ferntooth, Troutpath, Beelight, and Adderkit by the nursery. The three parents whisked their kits close with their tails, shushing them quiet.
Mothfall padded forward to join the rest of the cats gathering in front of Berrystar. She hadn't called them together, but Blazekit's announcement must have been loud enough, because every cat from the Clan was already waiting.
The moment of truth had arrived.
Berrystar scanned the crowd before speaking. "Today is a historic day in ShadowClan history. Today, our beloved deputy Briarstreak is officially stepping down from her post as deputy." She waited while several cats cheered, and Briarstreak puffed out her chest, grinning.
"But first," Berrystar continued, "I have another important ceremony to make. As we are all aware, Ambereye has sadly been without an apprentice ever since Frogjump passed."
Mothfall stiffened. Was Berrystar going to punish her by banning her to the medicine den?
"One of our senior warriors has offered to step in as Ambereye's apprentice, either until he retires or until Ambereye can find a cat willing to succeed him. Grasseyes, step forward."
The light-speckled tom stepped forward, chin held high as he approached his leader. The black-and-white molly considered him before mewing. "Grasseyes, you have served your Clan as one of my most loyal senior warriors for many seasons. You have a lovely family, soon to grow even bigger," as she spoke, Shortleg nudged Smallheart, who looked up from her haggard paws to blink wearily at her father, "And you have already lived a full life. Is it your desire to learn the ways of a medicine cat?"
"It is," Grasseyes nodded.
"Then from this day forth, you will train as a medicine cat. Ambereye, you will be his mentor."
Ambereye stepped forward and pressed his nose to Grasseyes'. When the speckled cat stepped back, his eyes shined.
"Willowgaze would be so proud of you," Ambereye murmured. "I know this isn't what you had originally planned, but it's a good path for you."
The Clan broke out into cheers, calling Grasseyes' name. He dipped his head towards his Clanmates before sitting back down. Acorntuft headbutted him, clearly proud of his friend.
"Briarstreak?"
The dark brown molly moved in front of her leader. She faced Berrystar, ears angled forward intently.
"You have served as my faithful deputy, and as one of my closest friends, for many seasons. Briarsreak, is it your wish to give up the status of a deputy and join the elders?"
Briarstreak lifted her chin. She coughed, but didn't lower her head. "It is."
"Your Clan honors you and all the service you have given to us. I call upon StarClan to give you many moons of rest." Berrystar stepped forward and pressed her nose to Briarstreak's forehead. When she stepped back, her eyes glittered in a rare display of emotion.
The black-and-white molly waited for the cheering to die down before speaking again. "It is time to announce our new deputy."
She motioned for Ratpelt to step forward, and the wiry brown tabby stood next to her. He puffed his chest out, and he looked over his Clanmates with pride glittering in his eyes. No, not pride. Greed.
Mothfall shuddered. She glanced behind her at Ferntooth, who swept her tail, bringing Runningkit and Adderkit close, and to the other side of the clearing, where Ambereye was watching by the medicine den. He kept his gaze fixed on Berrystar, his expression unreadable.
"Before I anoint our new deputy, I have an announcement to make." Berrystar lifted her chin. "Ratpelt, you are one of our loyal warriors. You stepped in when Briarstreak was sick, and have been a great help to me over these past few moons."
Mothfall shook her head. Was this really happening? Had her invention last night meant nothing?
"I say these words so that StarClan may hear and approve of my choice. Ratpelt-"
Mothfall leapt to her paws, ready to stop Berrystar before it was too late, but another cat beat her to it.
"Hang on, Berrystar." Briarstreak rasped. "Don't you remember what we talked about? Did you think you could sneak in a deputy ceremony without my noticing? I may be blind, but I'm not deaf."
Berrystar flicked her ear, rocking back on her paws in what was probably her way of looking admonished. "You're right, of course. You know I value your opinion, and I'd never go against your wishes."
"Seems like you were about to do just that," Briarstreak rumbled.
"Hang on. Briarstreak is right about what?" Grasseyes leaned forward.
Berrystar's gaze locked on Mothfall's. She squirmed as the rest of the Clan turned to stare at her. Bracing herself, she called out, "Ratpelt's a traitor."
Bravefeather leapt to his paws. "How can that be? Ratpelt's never done anything to hurt me!"
Specklefur's fur bristled. "Ratpelt taught me everything I know about the warrior code! How can he be a traitor?"
"Quiet," Berrstar rumbled. The Clan quieted down, though several cats continued to mutter under their breath. Glancing behind her, Mothfall saw Ferntooth squirm in her seat. Her kits stared at their parents and at Berrystar and at Ratpelt, old enough to understand that something bad was happening, but not old enough to understand what.
Berrystar angled her ears towards Ratpelt. The tom jutted his chin out, as confident as ever. When he locked eyes with Mothfall, his tail flicked. She shuddered.
Briarstreak stood up. "I've heard on good authority that Ratpelt is a faithless, cheating foxheart, who manipulated and lied to many of our Clanmates. He intends to be leader not to lead our Clan to greatness, but to spoil himself with its power."
"On whose good authority?" called out Specklefur.
"Isn't it obvious?" jeered Ratpelt. "Clearly, it's Mothfall's. You've all heard about the horrible things she's done. Now she's trying to defame me, her own father, who took care of her when no cat would!"
Mothfall backed up, her ginger fur fluffing out in alarm as the cats closest to her, Tawnywhisker, Heavysong, and Snailwhisper, all turned to growl at her.
"ShadowClan, do not fall to chaos," Berrystar warned. "We're better than this."
"Yeah, but is she?" growled Snailwhisper.
"She took so long to become a warrior," Smallheart hissed. "And I know it was no fault of my littermate's excellent training. Are we sure she's fit to be a warrior at all?"
"Or a member of ShadowClan?" challenged Snailwhisper. "Where did her so-called disability come from? Certainly not from her father, a loyal warrior."
"Maybe from her runaway mother."
Ferntooth yowled wordlessly. She moved to leap forward and protect her sister, but Troutpath and Beelight held her back. She growled and lashed her tail, and called out, "Ratpelt is our father! He raised us since we were kits! Why would she want to defame him, unless she was telling the truth?"
Mothfall shrank back, but she unsheathed her claws and bared her teeth. She didn't want to fight her Clanmates, her family. But if push came to shove, she wouldn't go down without a fight.
"I believe Mothfall."
A hush fell over the crowd. Moth craned her head. Her gaze fell upon a familiar golden-brown tabby, staring down the crowd with a stern gaze, one eye brown, the other amber.
Berrystar flicked her tail in the direction of the medicine cat. "Go on, Ambereye."
The medicine cat surveyed the crowd. "I have taken care of Mothfall ever since she was a young apprentice. In all of my moons of knowing her, she's never been anything but hardworking and loyal. Surely you are not all so shortsighted to forget how when you were sick with greencough, she worked until she collapsed to protect you?"
Around Mothfall, cats pulled back, considering the medicine cat's words.
"You don't have to like Mothfall to believe she's telling the truth. Tell me, has anycat here actually heard her say something mean, about anycat, to your face?"
A low murmur rippled through the gathered cats. Blazekit yelled, "Mothfall is fun! She showed me how to do her stretches!" Troutpath brushed his dark, ginger-flecked tail over the tan kit's muzzle, shushing them.
With a groan, Briarstreak rose to her paws. "Let me ask you this. Who are you going to believe? Your former deputy and medicine cat? Or some warrior who has everything to lose?" she coughed. "Believe me, I didn't want to believe Mothfall either. But she got me thinking, and I realized that Ratpelt never seemed to talk to me unless he wanted something. He never asked me how I was doing, unless he followed up with, 'and can I go to the gathering tonight?'"
Mothfall never thought she would be so grateful to hear Briarstreak speak. She dipped her head in the old brown molly's direction before remembering that she couldn't see, and probably didn't care what Mothfall thought anyways.
Ratpelt frowned. "I only ever wanted what was best for the Clan," he mewed, voice as smooth and controlled as ever. "Are you really going to let a warrior barely out of the apprentices' den tell you what to think? Or will you trust what you've seen with your own eyes?" He turned to Berrystar, eyes glittering. "What will you do, Berrystar? Who will you trust?"
"I won't do anything." Berrystar stepped forward. "It seems that, with leader and deputy divided, the fairest outcome is one that the Clan decides. We'll hold a vote. Cats who stand on my right vote to call Ratpelt our deputy. Cats who stand on my left vote to call Ratpelt a traitor to the Clans. Ratpelt, Mothfall, Ambereye and I will remain impartial. Mothfall, come sit with us, if you please." She scanned the crowd. "You too, Grasseyes. I know you haven't started your training yet, but as a medicine cat, you shouldn't vote, either. Oh, yes, and the kits. They may stay with their parents, but their vote won't count. Only the votes of warriors, apprentices, queens, and elders shall count."
Ratpelt's eye twitched as Grasseyes stalked over and thudded down beside him. As Mothfall padded over, squeezing herself in between Berrystar and Ambereye, she heard the tom whisper, "I would have voted in your favor, you know."
Mothfall's stomach heaved. She thought she might vomit, but as Ambereye brushed his tail against her side, she took a deep breath and found the strength to carry on. She eyed her Clanmates, no longer certain who she could trust.
"You may begin," Berrystar called.
For a moment, no cat moved. They all glanced at each other silently. Mothfall held her breath. Ambereye brushed his tail against her side in a comforting manner.
Briarstreak padded to Berrystar's left. "I think I've made myself perfectly clear about where I stand," she growled.
Ferntooth stepped forward. "Ratpelt purposely drove a wedge between Mothfall and I as kits. At the time I was too upset to understand what was going on. Now I see that he wanted Mothfall to feel alone, so she would be easier to manipulate."
Ratpelt growled as Ferntooth moved to Mothfall's side. "I did no such thing! If you thought I played favorites, then you're the one with a distorted reality."
"Shut up," Berrystar grunted. "We're deciding your fate here. If I were you, I'd start acting sympathetic, and fast."
Shortleg stood up, their gray-flecked tail lashing side to side as they spoke. "It was you who injured Mothfall when she was an apprentice, wasn't it? You overtrained her, and she was stuck in the medicine den for half a moon."
Several cats nodded. "I remember that," Russetfur mewed. "The elders' den had never been cleaner."
"That doesn't change the fact that she's a liar." Snailwhisper sauntered over to Ratpelt's side. He nodded at the tom as he sat down. Russetnose cast her denmate a sad glance as she moved to Mothfall's side.
Grasseyes cleared his throat, and the rest of the senior warriors – Birdsong, Weedwhisker, and Acorntuft - moved to Ratpelt's side.
"You!" Smallheart turned on Ratpelt, fur bristling. Despite her short legs and pregnant, round belly, the molly looked so ferocious that even Shortleg stepped back in alarm.
"You comforted me when Puddlesplots died," she spat. "Were you even sad? Or was it all fake? When I told you I was expecting his kits, before I told anycat else, the first thing you said was that you wanted to mentor one. Was that kindness? Or was that just another part of your scheme?"
Ratpelt drew himself up to his full height. "I meant what I said. Your kits will be great warriors. It would be an honor to mentor one."
"You mean they'll be great because you'll train them to mindlessly believe everything you say!" Smallheart spat. Shortleg nudged her, and she fell in line beside Mothfall. Shortleg glanced at Mothfall, their expression hard to read. Still, she dipped her head towards her old mentor, grateful to have their support.
Beelight followed silently, herding the kits tumbling about her paws as she went. "Seedshade didn't survive. But at least Mothfall tried to help. That's more than I can say about him." With a grateful glance towards the ginger molly, she added, "And if it wasn't for her, I would have never been lead to these kits, the new joys of my life."
Mothfall's heart rose. She had more cats on her side than Ratpelt! But just as quickly, her spirits fell as Rapidfoot and Meadowstripe stepped onto Ratpelt's side. "We just want a quiet transition into a predictable leadership for our kits' sake," Rapidfoot murmured quietly. Ratpelt smirked.
"You're my friend," Bravefeather announced, stepping over to Ratpelt's side. "I trust you." He flattened his ears when his mother grumbled something foul. "If you actually listened to Ratpelt, instead of this cat who barely has a claim to the warrior title, maybe you'd understand," he spat. Briarstreak flinched, and Shortleg glared at the brown tom as they turned to muzzle Briarstreak in comfort. Shortleg had been friends with Bravefeather, too, and it must have hurt to see him choose Ratpelt over them.
Troutpath stepped forward. "I don't know Mothfall very well, but she's my mate's sister, and I trust Ferntooth's judgement with my life. Besides, I do know that Ratpelt never had anything but bad news to say about Pricklepaw's mentor." He glanced at Grasseyes, who flattened his ears. "He took it upon himself to give Pricklepaw 'special training.' I always asked Pricklepaw why he didn't bring up his concerns with Grasseyes, but she could never give me a straight answer."
Cats on both sides murmured at this news. Troutpath flicked his tail. "I don't know what Ratpelt did or didn't do. But at least with Mothfall, you always know where you stand with her." He moved to her side of the line.
Specklefur glanced sadly at his brother as he moved to stand opposite him, with Ratpelt. "Ratpelt was my mentor. Our relationship has been… a bit rocky, at times," Mothfall stood up straighter, wondering if he was thinking of the day he came into camp limping and wouldn't explain himself. "But I trust him. He taught me well, and he taught Pricklepaw well, too, even though Troutpath won't admit it."
Heavysong moved to stand beside Ratpelt, and Beechtail followed at his heels. "Ratpelt raised my kit to be a fine warrior." She mewed, glancing in Specklefur's direction. "I wish I had known about his involvement with Pricklepaw, but I'm sure he was only helping her be the best warrior she could be. I couldn't ask for a better mentor for my kits."
That left Oakpaw, Mudpaw, and Tawnywhisker left. The two apprentices glanced at each other, and Oakpaw shuffled his paws before ducking his head.
Mudpaw nodded at Tawnywhisker. "We'll do whatever you decide," she whispered.
Tawnywhisker eyed Mothfall. Mothfall forced herself to meet the sandy-furred molly's gaze. She flinched under the young warrior's icy ferocity.
"I'm not as forgiving as Beelight," she mewed. "You agreed to help Ambereye. In my eyes, that means you're just as responsible as him for the deaths of our Clanmates." At mothfall's side, Ambereye shifted in his seat. "The deaths of my mentor, father, and grandfather are on your paws. Plus, after Seedshade..." she broke off, unwilling to say 'died,' "He was the one who stepped in to mentor me. Not Mothfall. And I was depressed and hated everything, and I argued with Ratpelt more often than not, but he never raised his voice at me. I think I'd even say he liked me."
She stepped towards Ratpelt's side. The darn brown tabby grinned and lifted his chin.
"But..." Tawnywhisker hisitated, stopped before her paws fell onto Ratpelt's side of the camp. "But as an only kit, I was lonely, and Mothfall seemed to be the only cat who noticed. She talked to me when no cat else would, until Oakpaw and Mudpaw were born." Oakpaw shuffled his paws, embarrassed at being called out. Tawnywhisker whisker her tail against the reddish-brown tom's side. When she turned back to Mothfall, her steely gaze had softened. Not much. But just enough. "We used to be friends, and you never stopped looking out for me, even when I stopped looking out for you. I think… I think I'd like to be friends with you again, someday."
She stepped over to Mothfall's side. Mudpaw and Oakpaw followed tight on her heels, eyes stretched wide with surprise.
"It's a tie," Ratpelt remarked, twitching his ear in surprise.
"Now what?" Mothfall asked, fighting to keep the panic from her mew. She swayed, trying to keep the ground firmly below her paws. Ambereye pressed his paw over hers, holding her in place.
Berrystar grunted. "Now we leave it up to StarClan to decide. Ambereye, can you-"
"Forget StarClan!" Ratpelt spat. He leapt to his paws. "Berrystar, let me fight Mothfall. The winner earns their right to deputy."
"What?" cried out Berrystreak. Other cats called out, protesting this unexpected turn of events.
Berrystar rose to her paws, waving everycat down with her tail. When the crowd silenced, she turned towards Ratpelt, her eyes glittering with an unreadable expression. Mothfall's gut twisted. "What would happen to the loser?" asked Berrystar.
"Isn't it obvious?" Ratpelt spat. "The loser dies."
Berrystar grunted. She motioned for Mothfall to step forward with a flick of her paws. "I agree to your terms, Ratpelt. You may proceed."
Dun dun DUN! Now the Clan knows! And now Mothfall has to... kill her own dad? Geeze. Who thought that was a good idea? (I mean, Berrystar, I guess.)
I want to say thank you so much to everyone who's been following along so far, whether you are a new reader or have been here since chapter 1. I'm just so thrilled that so many people have read and enjoyed this little story of mine! I started writing this story to de-stress from the wild reality that is our world, and I never imagined it getting so much love.
I hope y'all enjoyed! :