"Oooh, man. Ah… I tell ya, I'm just so proud of you, chick," Dodger kept singing my praises from the bed. He was laying down on it as I was getting ready to have a nap. Despite it being morning already, I didn't sleep a wink last night and was just so exhausted. We'd be arriving at Prydain tonight, so I wanted to at least be a little more alert when we got there. I had just finished brushing my hair and spun around to face Dodger.
"Proud of me?" My eyebrow raised. "Course! You took on the infamous coachman- and survived! You've done what no one else has done before." "Oh, I'm sure people have confronted him before." Dodger considered to himself for a moment. "Well, I suppose so. The mob boss who used to harass Fagin- some asshole named Sykes- apparently got in with the coachman fourteen years ago or so. Heh, Sykes must have done something to piss him off because he disappeared not too long after." "He disappeared?" I reiterated in a confused tone. Though I don't know why that would confuse me; the coachman was well-known for making his enemies disappear. Dodger's head nodded up and down. "Vanished without a trace on the Isle of the Lost. Him and some other guy he was working with. Haha, Fagin was over the moon when he heard," he chuckled. I simply looked at the dog, unsure how to process the information I'd just discovered.
A minute later, Dodger yawned and flashed me another impressed grin. "You don't have to worry about that bastard anymore. I don't think the coachman will cause you any trouble- not after you threatened to burn his precious, money-making island to the ground. And you know where Pleasure Island is now too. I still personally think you should have roasted him alive, though." "I never said I'd incinerate him. Despite how much I hate him and what he's done to all those little boys, I couldn't kill him; not him or that pathetic Honest John and cat. Killing, even my enemies, goes against my beliefs." Dodger yawned again nonchalantly. "Does that mean you won't take down the Horned King given the chance?"
This made me pause. I'd never thought about that before…. I already made the decision that we wouldn't engage in a fight with him, but that's more for the safety of my friends than anything. But if the choice came down to me…. What would I do? My lips pressed together firmly as my eyes narrowed.
Oh, who am I kidding? I know what I'd do. I couldn't kill him either. It dawned on me that like with the coachman, it doesn't matter how individuals treat me or even those I love so dearly…. Killing for any reason just isn't in my nature; it's like it goes against the DNA of who I am. I sighed and gently shook my head. "No, I can't and won't. The goal is to get the Black Cauldron without confronting the Horned King. Think of it as a spy mission." "Ha, with those "scouts"?" He referred to my friends onboard with us. I frowned, but Dodger wasn't paying attention any longer. He hopped down to the floor and headed for the door.
"Well, not that this isn't interesting, chick, but I'm famished. Gonna go get myself some breakfast." "Ok." "Have a good sleep." "Thanks, Dodger. Have a good breakfast," and with that he was off. It's just as well; I was pretty tired by now. But it would seem that the universe had other plans for me. And they came in singing.
I sat up on the covers of my bed at the sound of someone- or something- suddenly singing all around me. Then, moments later, a wide, toothy grin appeared out of nowhere floating in the air. A purple stripped cat soon filled in the space around it. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before blinking to him.
"Cheshire Cat! You found me!" I gasped astonished. The Cheshire Cat hummed to himself, spinning without concern mid-air. "I didn't know you were lost." "I uh…. Well, I guess I'm not? I mean, I'm surprised you found me out here on the Argo." "Oh, that was easy. I wanted to see you, and since I haven't lost you, you weren't hard to find." "Uh….? Ok, sure; why not?" I shrugged. There was no point in discussing it further.
"So, did you find what you've lost?" He kept on spinning merrily. "What I've lost? Oh, you mean Daddy! Yes; yes, I know where he is now." "And where is that?" "A kingdom called Prydain; somewhere I've never heard of before." "Naturally, that's cause Prydain's never heard of you before." "Well, that's not true. The Horned King must have known about our parents in order to trap them inside the cauldron in the first place," I retorted. The Cheshire Cat straightened up, throwing his paws up at his sides. "Your parents, perhaps. But you are not your parents." "Not our parents? So…. does that mean that the Horned King doesn't know about us kids?" Wait a minute…. "More like the less he knows about you, the better." Of course! Why didn't I internalize it before? My eyes scrolled off into space enlightened. "He doesn't know about us…" I thought out loud.
The Cheshire Cat went back to singing, and when I looked at him again, he was quite literally standing on top of himself. "Can you stand on your head?" He inquired gaily. This cat…. I couldn't help but smile. How some might think he's a villain, I'll never know. Mad, very; evil, no. Heh, you have to think to create evil schemes. I chuckled at my own internal joke, not that he'd be insulted for being accused of not thinking.
"By the way, Cheshire Cat, what did you want to see me about?" "Hmmmm?" He picked up his floating head into his paws. "You said you wanted to see me." "Do I need a reason to want to see you?" He begun twirling round once more. My grin widened, realizing his non-logic vein. "No, you don't. If you wanted to see me for the sake of seeing me….." I honestly felt a little flattered by this. But he paused like he just remembered something.
"Actually, I brought you a present." "A present?" My shoulders perked up surprised. He's never given me anything before, which explains my shocked reaction. "That's right- a present." "But why?" "Because it's your un-birthday today," he replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Uh…. huh. Well, thank you! Erm, happy un-birthday to you too." Seemingly pleased with that, the cat made his right paw disappear using his tail, and made it re-appear with the same flick of his tail. When I saw it again, it had a package wrapped up in a white handkerchief with red trim. It had a "W. R." embroidered in one of the corners. I immediately knew it to be the White Rabbit's handkerchief; he must have made the parcel up from the Cheshire Cat to bring to me.
The mad cat watched me with half-hearted interest as I tugged it open. Inside was this little light pink box, and inside the box was a cake with the words "eat me" on it, and a bottle with "drink me" attached. My grin began to fade the longer I examined the two. "Um, Cheshire Cat… Are these…. Are these what I think they are?" "Well, that depends on what you think they are," he responded in turn. I lifted the cake up for a closer look. It looked tasty, all things considered; though I didn't dare take a bite.
"Now let me see if I can remember…. This one is an Eat Me Cake, which will make me grow. And this is a Drink Me Bottle, which will make me shrink." "I knew you thought right," he congratulated me. I blinked up to him very puzzled. "Why are you giving me these?" "Why not?" "Wh-….? Because we're not in Wonderland? Because I'm not from Wonderland?" I sputtered incredulously. Seriously, this cat sometimes. "So? That didn't stop Alice from eating her share." My mouth opened to counter this, but nothing came out. I guess that's right…. My eyes rolled back down to the box in my lap. Then I reminded myself to smile.
"Well, thank you, Cheshire Cat. It was a uh…. thoughtful gift," I said, setting the box down on the bed beside me. "A very happy un-birthday to you," even more merry spinning on his end. "Thank you. So… if I eat some of the cake, how big will I get?" The thought occurred to me that I might permanently mess with my real size if I play around too much. He stared up at the ceiling mindlessly. "As big as according to how much cake you eat. You can eat your cake and drink your drink. But if you eat all of it and drink all of it, it'll be like eating and drinking nothing at all."
"Like nothing at all? Oh!" My fingers snapped together in realization. The Cheshire Cat waited for me to continue. "If I eat the whole cake and drink the whole bottle, they'll cancel each other out. So, I'll return to the same size I am now. Is that right?" "Is what right?" He shrugged with his paws. "Me staying my size," I pressed. "I don't know. Is your size the right size?" "Well, for me, it is anyway. But it's nice to know that I can get back to it by keeping these in balance with each other," that was a real comfort to me. Who knows? Knowing that, my little present might turn out to be useful in the future. Just thinking about it made me grin back at the happy, absent-minded animal.
"You know, Cheshire Cat, I think I like you best too. You're my favourite cat." "I know," he casually remarked. "You do?" My eyebrow lifted, but I was still smiling. "Course. You'd have to be simply mad to say something like that, and you are mad. You can't help that." "Oh yes! I forgot- according to you, I am mad," I laughed. "You are mad, according to someone or no one. It makes no difference really." "It doesn't?" And he finally looked back at me with those crazy eyes of his. "No. A person doesn't become mad; madness becomes the person. And the madness decided that you and I should be similarly occupied."