"Mom, it was so good to see you." Derek said as he hugged her good-bye.
"Yes, thank you for your hospitality." Lexie said sweetly. Mark and her were returning to Seattle with Derek.
"Any time my dear." Caroline smiled. "And, Derek," she said sternly turning to her son. "I still don't understand why you are leaving your very pregnant wife here." She put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrow. Derek smiled at her sheepishly, much like he did as a small child.
"Mother, I have told you. I have to finish this clinical trial before the end of the year." Derek said frustratedly. He had been lectured by his mother for 30 minutes last night about not putting work before his family. How Addison needed him right now. Etc, etc. Why couldn't anyone understand this wasn't about Addison or not wanting to be around her or anything like that? He NEEDED to figure out this clinical trial. He owed to all the patients who had died!
"Mom, it is ok." Addison said as she placed an arm around Derek. He gave her a grateful look as his mother continued to look at them skeptically.
Derek, Mark, and Lexie proceeded to say good-bye to the rest of the family. Derek pulled Addison aside before leaving.
"Are you sure you don't want to come back with me?" he questioned as he pulled her in for a hug.
"Yes, Babe, I am sure. You are going to be working a lot, and this is my last chance to visit friends in NY before the babies come. Plus, I need to go through the Brownstown house and decide what we want to ship to Seattle and what we want to get rid of. It still is a little sereal that we are selling the house in the spring." Addison replied. She gave Derek a quick kiss and the gave him a small shove. "Now go. We will be fine."
"Ok. I love you." Derek said, pulling her back in for one more kiss. "And I love both of you." he continued as he kissed Addison's belly.
Addison watched the trio drive off and then went back into the house. Almost everyone was packing up to go to their respective houses. Nancy was giving Addison a ride back to the city in a few hours.
After the majority of the family had left, and Nancy and her husband Jerry were packing up their van, Caroline pulled Addison aside.
"My dear, I am glad we have some quiet time alone." Caroline said sweetly. Addison was a little surprised as Derek's mom rarely pulled her aside. "How have you been? I mean really. Are you fully recovered? Are things between Derek and you ok?" she continued with concern.
"I appreciate the concern, Mom." Addison said, patting the older woman on the hand. "These past few months have been hard, but we are both really doing well. I will get a follow up scan after the babies are born to make sure everything is ok, but there is no reason to believe there isn't. Derek and I are actually better than we ever have been." she answered honestly. Addison conveniently left out her worries about Derek not fully seeming himself lately, but she didn't want to worry her mother-in-law for no reason.
"I am glad to hear it. You know, I am only a phone call away if you ever need anything." Caroline said, though she wasn't fully convinced. Addison gave her a small smile before Nancy's oldest daughter, 14 year old Cassie, came barreling in.
"Aunt Addie, Mom says she is ready to go." the teenager said breathlessly before running back out.
"I guess that is my cue. Thanks for everything, Mom. I really appreciate it." Addison said as she hugged Caroline.
A few hours later, Addison entered the Brownstone exhausted from a long car ride with 5 kids! She walked upstairs and drew a warm bath. She was really looking forward to relaxing and catching up on some medical journals.
About 30 minutes into her bath, she received a call from Derek. "Hey, Babe. I wanted to let you know I made it home safe. What are you up to?"
"I am trying to relax in the tub, but your sons seem to be having a wrestling match at the moment." Addison griped as she continued to feel kicking in her ribs. Derek laughed.
"Well, as much as i would love to talk, I need to get some sleep. I have my final clinical trial patient tomorrow." Derek said distantly.
"Derek, are you ok?" Addie asked. She couldn't ignore his tone any longer.
"I've told you. I am fine." Derek clipped back. The phone was silent for a while. "I'm sorry, Addie. I know you are concerned. I am just tired and stressed, but I will be ok. I really do need to go to sleep. I will call you tomorrow. I love you."
"Ok. I love you too." Addison said as they hung up. She was a little taken aback by the way Derek had snapped at her. She shook it off. Maybe he was just tired. She knew she definitely was.
"Alright, boys. It is time to let Mommy sleep." Addison addressed her growing stomach as she got out of the tub. She smiled as she said the word "mommy". It thrilled her to think about the 2 lives growing inside her and how before she knew it she would be holding them in her arms!
The next morning, Addison was scheduled to meet up with Savvy around noon for lunch and then an afternoon of shopping! Addison decided to head to the nail salon first.
"Dr. Shepherd? Is that you?" a woman with a small daughter exclaimed as Addison made her way into the salon.
"Casey Bright?" Addison said, a little shocked. She didn't always remember her patients, but this was one that was etched in her memory forever.
September 11, 2001
The day started like any other. Addison's alarm went off at 5:30. She groaned as she leaned over to turn it off. She had a c-section scheduled at 7, which meant she couldn't lay in bed very long. Derek had the day off, and Addison didn't want to wake him, so she quietly got out of bed and got ready for the day.
The c-section went off without a hitch, and by 8:00, Addison was headed to her office. She had 4 more surgeries coming up that day and wanted a few minutes to herself to review charts and prepare. When she got to her office, she had a voicemail from Derek.
"Morning Beautiful. Just wanted to say I love you before I head out for a run. Talk to you later."
Addison smiled. She loved the little messages Derek left her when he knew they wouldn't see each other all day.
At 8:30, Addison left her office and headed to her patient's room. Casey Bright was 25 and 22 weeks pregnant. Bands were discovered around her daughter's legs at a routine ultrasound, and Addison was going to remove the bands to allow for normal growth.
"Good Morning, Dr. Shepherd" Casey smiled as Addison entered the room.
"Good Morning, Casey. Are you ready for me to remove the bands from your daughter's legs?" Addison asked as she did an ultrasound to check on her tiny patient.
"More than ever! Chris should be here soon. He finished his shift at the fire station around 7 and then was coming straight here." Casey said looking at the clock.
"We have plenty of time. Surgery is scheduled for 11." Addison replied. Just then Addison's pager went off. She looked down. "911 - Mass trauma" her pager blinked.
"Excuse me, Casey. I am needed in the pit." Addison said quickly. She didn't want to alarm her patient, but knew that "mass trauma" meant all attendings were to report to the pit for further instructions.
As Addison was racing through the halls she heard bits and pieces of conversations around her. Something about a plane crash and the Twin Towers? That sounded odd to her. Why would a plane be anywhere near the World Trade Center. Maybe it was a helicopter with tourists? She knew those flew around there.
When Addison arrived at the ER, she gathered with her fellow attendings and waited for further instructions.
"We just received word that a passenger plane collided with one of the Twin Towers. We don't know the extent of the damage, but we need to prepare for mass casualties. All non life threatening surgeries are canceled for the day. Please gather your interns and residents to prepare for trauma protocol." Chief Hutchingson commanded.
Addison was stunned. She went out in the hallway to inform the residents and interns under her what was going on. She noticed people had started to gather in front of TVs in the waiting rooms. It was then someone yelled "There's been another crash! The second tower has been hit."
Addison rushed over to join the crowd and watched as newscasters were trying to make sense of what was going on.
Addison backed away in complete shock. This was bad. This was going to be the worst tragedy she had ever seens. She gestures for her residents and interns to follow her into the stairwell.
"By now you know that both of the Twin Towers were hit by planes. I don't know what is going on, but we need to be prepared for mass casualties. You need to inform patients that surgeries are canceled for today. Then report back to the ER. You need to prepare yourself too. This is going to be a long day." Addison informed them. With that, all of the residents and interns left, leaving Addison alone in the stairwell.
She went over to the wall and took a breath. What in the hell was going on? She reached down for her phone and called Derek. No answer. She looked at the time. 9:10. Maybe he was still out for his run. He should have been paged to the hospital, so maybe he was down in the ER.
Addison made her way down to the pit, fully expecting patients to begin arriving any second. She was surprised to find a relatively quiet ER.
Everyone was glued to the TV. Soon President Bush is on and says the nation is under an apparent terrorist attack. Everyone is completely silent, in shock.
"How is our nation under attack?!" Addson whispers to no one in particular. She continues to watch as reports of another plane crashing into the Pentagon comes out. Then out of nowhere one of the towers comes crashing down. It is then Addison's pager goes off. It is 911 for Casey Bright.
Addison makes a beeline for her room. When she enters, an intern is trying to calm a screaming Casey.
"Someone call my husband! Turn the TV back on! Did they say firefighters were in the tower when it fell?" Casey yells as she is struggling to breath.
Things begin to click together for Addison. Casey's husband Chris is a firefighter. Of course he would have been called to help fight the billowing fires in the towers. A tightness filled Addison's chest as she thought about her own husband that she hadn't been able to get ahold of. Addison pushed her feelings aside to focus on her patient.
"Casey, you have to calm down." Addison said calmly as she placed an oxygen mask over the pregnant woman. "I don't know where your husband is, but right now you need to think of your daughter. There you go. Slow, deep breaths." Casey grabbed Addison's hand as tears began to pour down her cheeks.
"I can't do this without him." Casey pleaded.
"Let's not think about that. He is probably fine." Addison repeated calmly. She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself or her patient.
Once Casey had calmed down, Addison began her way back down to the ER. She was surprised that there was not a flood of patients. She also noticed that many of the staff were in tears.
"Dr. Shepherd, did you hear the other tower fell?" Nurse Ellie says as she walks over to Addison.
"No, I did not. Has anyone seen my husband?" Addison replies, doing her best to keep it together.
"No, but I am not sure anyone has really been paying attention to anything but the TV." Ellie responds.
"Why aren't we being slammed with patients?" an intern asks one of the ER doctors.
"Because very few people have survived." Dr. Colman replies sadly. A handful of cases had come in, but nothing like what they were planning on.
Just then, Derek came rushing into the ER. He spots Addison and runs over to her.
"Addison!" he says in a tight, worried voice. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her into a tight hug. He doesn't care who is around. Holding his wife is all that matters to him at that moment.
"Derek!" Addison exclaims clinging to him. Relief floods over her. For a moment, they just stand in the ER holding each other. Addison begins to tremble as she tries to fight off the tears.
Derek pulls Addison aside into an on call room. She doesn't let go of him the whole time. She collapses on a bed in tears. All the emotions she had been pushing down come to the surface.
"Addie, Love, it is going to be ok." Derek whispers in her ear as he rubs circles on her back.
"How can you say that, Derek? Our nation is under attack!" Addison cries out.
"We don't know what is going on, Addie. But I do know we WILL be ok. We are DerekandAddison. We are going to make it through this."
"Where were you earlier? I kept trying to call." Addison asks, changing the subject.
"I was out for a run. When I got back, cell service was down. I didn't have the TV on. I had no idea this was going on. I came as soon as I found out."
"I have a patient upstairs whose husband is a firefighter. She doesn't know if he is alive or dead right now. I knew you were probably ok, but with everything going on, I was so scared something happened to you." Addison says, looking at Derek. It hurts him to see the anguish in her eyes.
"I am sorry." Derek replies, pulling her in for another hug. The married couple stays that way for a while before Addison pulls back.
"I am ok now Derek. We need to get back out there."
"Ok. I love you, Addison."
"I love you too, Derek."
Thankfully, later that night, Addison discovered that Chris Bright had survived. She knew plenty of people who had lost loved ones and even lost a friend herself. It was a day that completely changed her entire reality. A day she would never forget.
"You remembered me! And this is Ellie." Casey smiled.
"Hi Ellie." Addison said sweetly as she removed her jacket. Ellie's eyes got really big when she saw Addison's baby bump.
"Are you gonna have a baby?" Ellie said in awe. Casey blushed. Addison laughed.
"I am actually going to have twin boys." Addison smiled. Ellie's eyes grew huge.
"I have a brother. I wish he was a sister." Ellie pouted. Addison looked at Casey.
"You guys had another baby!" Addison exclaimed.
"Yes, he is 2 now. His name is Cole Andrew Bright." she replied as she showed Addison a picture. "And congratulations on your own little boys! When are you due?"
"Mid-April. And thanks. I am so glad you guys are doing well!" Addison said.
"It was good to see you too." Casey said as she waved good-bye.
The next few hours were a whirlwind for Addison. After the salon, she met Savvy for lunch and then they hit all their favorite boutiques. Around 3, Savvy noticed that Addison kept checking her phone.
"Addie, why do you keep checking your phone?" she asked curiously. They had stopped at a cafe to get a drink.
"I am waiting to hear from Derek how his last clinical trial surgery went. He should be done by now." Addison said worriedly.
"Hasn't he lost every patient so far?" Savvy questioned.
"Yes. These patients only have weeks, if not days, to live. The chances of any of them surviving is pretty small." Addison answered. Just then her phone rang. She looked down and saw the call was from Derek.
"Speaking of the devil." Savvy joked as Addison stepped outside to take the call.
"Derek?" Addison asked cautiously.
"I did it, Addie! My last patient survived!" Derek yelled. Addison was shocked. She was not expecting this and was so happy for him.
"Oh, Derek. That is amazing! I wish I was there with you!" she said close to tears.
"Well, celebrating would be a lot more fun if you were here, but I guess I'll just have to celebrate by going out for drinks with Mark." Derek teased. Addison rolled her eyes. He proceeded to tell her the highlights of the surgery.
"How soon until you know if the surgery was successful?" Addison asked cautiously. Derek was quiet for a little while.
"Honestly, I don't know." he finally said. "It is considered a success for what we were testing in this clinical trial that the patient survived. As far as if the tumor will grow back or what long term affects the patient will have, only time will tell."
"I am sure everything will be fine." Addison said quickly. "Are you still ok with me staying here until after the New Year?"
"Yes, Addie. That is fine. I know you need this vacation before your final trimester." Derek replied. Addison then heard a pager going off in the background. "Hey, I gotta run. I am being paged. I love you." he rushed and then hung up the phone.
"I love you too." Addison said to an empty line. She sighed as she walked back into the resteraunt.
"Is everything ok, Addie?" Savvy asked as she took a sip of her tea. She was concerned about the long face on her friend.
"I think so." Addison said distractedly. "Derek's last patient survived the surgery, so that is good."
"But…" Savvy trailed off. She knew there was more to the story. Addison took a long sip of her tea and then rested her hands on her belly.
"I don't really know, honestly. Derek has been different lately. Not like he was before." Addie said quickly when she saw Savvy raise an eyebrow. "He is almost too attentive of me now. To the point of annoying." she laughed. "But, he has also been, I don't know, sad, sullen, maybe even depressed?" she tried to explain.
"Have you talked to him about it?" Savvy asked. She knew one of the problems Addison and Derek had was lack of communication. It was one of the biggest downfalls of their marriage before.
"I have tried. He tells me he is fine." Addison said frustratedly. "Honestly, Sav, I am not sure he even realizes how he has acting. I just have had a bad feeling about this clinical trial since the beginning."
Savvy took in everything her friend was saying. She leaned back in her chair and thought about how to respond.
"Addie, I am going to be blunt since you are only here for a short time. You have to be more assertive when you are concerned with Derek. Years ago, you expressed concern about how much Derek was working, but he told you it was fine. You didn't want to cause waves, so you let it go. Look where that got you. If you are really concerned about him, you need to make him listen to him. Get Mark involved if you need to. Hell, get Weiss and me involved. None of us said anything for years while we watched you guys struggle more and more. We didn't feel like it was our place. Well, I am not doing that again." Savvy lectured.
Addison was completely shocked. She wasn't expecting her friend to be so stern.
"Ok, Savvy. I will try to talk to him tonight. Right now, though, my sons are kicking me and I really need to go to the bathroom." she laughed nervously as she escaped to the restroom.
Addison tried to call Derek later that night but only got his voicemail. By the time he called her back, she was asleep. They continued to play phone tag for the next 2 days. After that, Addison continued to call Derek, but he stopped calling her back. After 2 days of not hearing from him at all, Addison finally called Mark.
"Addison?" Mark asked, confused why his friend was calling him on New Years Eve.
"Mark, what is going on with Derek? I haven't heard from him in 2 days." Addison said worried.
"Um, I haven't heard from him either. I took off the last couple of days to spend time with Lexie and her family since she came with me for Christmas." Mark explained. "Let me go see if he is in your apartment."
Mark walked over to the Shepherd's apartment and knocked. There was no answer. He used his key to go on in. Mark was shocked at what he found. There were beer cans all over the kitchen and living room. There was broken glass on the floor that appeared to be from a broken vase. But there was no Derek.
"Um, Addie. He, uh, he isn't here." Mark said vaguely. He didn't want to tell her the state of their apartment until he knew where Derek was. "Look, let me make some calls, and I will find him." He hung up before she could respond.
"Mark? Mark?" Addison asked, looking at her phone concerned. Why did he hang up on her? That wasn't like him.
She paced around her house for an hour before she heard back from Mark.
"Addie, you need to come home now." Mark blurted out when she answered her phone.
"Mark! What is wrong?" Addison asked in a high pitched voice.
"I, um, I am not sure. Derek moved back to the trailer and is in a really bad state. He won't talk to anyone. Has been drinking a lot. And seems to be in the habit of breaking things. You just need to get home." Mark excplained the best he could. He still couldn't believe the state he found his best friend in.
Addison, too, was completely shocked. "Ok" was all she could manage to get out before she hung up the phone and went to sit down on the couch. What the hell was going on with Derek?! She knew she had to cut her plans short and get back to Seattle. She made a few calls to get a car to the airport and one of the family jets ready. She then went to pack quickly. Soon she was on a plane back to Seattle with no idea what she was walking in to.
Let me know what you think! Next time will be more of Derek's POV with what was going on while Addie was in NYC!