Tifa headed down the path that would take her to Barret and Marlene's cabin. She'd been unable to find him when she'd returned from her meeting with Tseng, and Rude had helpfully pointed her in the right direction.

Their conversation had been useful. Tseng was open to the idea of them cooperating and had expressed an interest in putting the past behind them. He'd diplomatically agreed that any intel would be shared and that Cloud would be involved in any relevant decisions, and his team would behave, provided they were treated civilly. She and Cloud had agreed to speak to Barret, Cid and Yuffie.

It was a small step forwards.

Cloud was still distant, although he'd made polite conversation with the Turks at least since Reno had offered his olive branch. She was certain Reno's motives were entirely selfish but she was grateful to him nonetheless.

Cloud had barely spoken to her. She knew she needed to clear the air between them, she just wasn't certain how to find the right words. The tension between them had been brewing for a long time and now that it had been exposed it didn't sit right with her to ignore it. She just didn't know how to start the conversation.

She'd spoken to Denzel at least, which had put her mind at ease. Their impromptu overnight stay in Healen hadn't been ideal and although Red was confident that the bar was secure it'd been a relief when Reno had mentioned having them both brought to the lodge. Tseng had agreed and assured her it would be arranged.

Denzel was happy enough. He was missing Marlene but he was glad that there was no longer a continent separating them. Red had kept his spirits up telling him tales from the Cosmo Candle and he'd chatted excitedly about ghosts and caves and legendary warriors. When this was all over she'd take him to the canyon, she decided. They could all do with the break.

When she reached the cabin, Barret was leaning against the fence outside. She had the feeling he'd been waiting for her. Nerves fluttered, unwelcome, in her stomach.

"Hey," she said, voice soft. "I've been looking for you."

Barret nodded glumly in response. "Thought you might've been. I needed some air."

"Where's Marlene?"

"She's asleep. Up talking half the night to the goddamn Turks." There was bitterness in his voice. "Jittery as a Chocobo for the first half an hour and then all of a sudden she's talking their damn legs off."

Tifa smiled wryly. "She was probably excited to be in the helicopter."

"I don't like it," he grumbled.

"I spoke to Denzel." She swiftly changed the subject. "He's feeling a lot better. He's finding it easier to move around with his cast now."

Barret stared into the distance, watching a bird spiralling upwards against the cloudy sky. Undaunted by his lack of a reply she pushed on.

"Red's been telling him all kinds of stories. I was thinking I'd take him to Cosmo Canyon." She nudged Barret gently with her shoulder. "Maybe take Marlene too? You should come. It's been a long time since we did something as a family."

"I owe that boy," said Barret, his voice unusually quiet. "If he hadn't pushed her out of the way…"

"Don't think about that. It's over now."

"I should've been there, should've been able to stop it."

"So should I." She sighed. "But we can't change what's already happened. We can only move forwards."

He turned to face her, eyes filled with regret. "When we was at the hospital…"

"You were scared." She smiled sadly. "I understand."

His words had been harsh and she couldn't deny that they'd hurt her. Whilst her anger had burned hot in the hours after the fight, it'd quickly faded. He'd acted out, as he always had when he didn't know how to deal with the stress and the emotion. Taking Marlene to North Corel had been another low blow, but Barret had always been one to act first and think later. His chagrinned expression spoke volumes now as to how sorry he truly was.

"That's no excuse for what I said," he insisted. "'Bout you and Marlene. I know you'd do anything for that little girl. For Denzel too."

"It's okay, I'm just glad you're back. I've really missed you."

"I've missed you too." He slung a thick arm around her shoulders. "But I've got a real problem with the company you're keeping."

Tifa inhaled slowly. This was the crux of the issue and the real reason for her nerves. Although Cloud had begrudgingly accepted Reno's offer of a truce it would take a miracle for Barret to ever warm to the Turk, or to any of them for that matter. She understood where the anger came from, it'd burned in her too but had been extinguished over time. Barret would always hate them and that scared her more than she wanted to admit.

"The Turks have really helped us," she replied, trying to keep her voice neutral.

Barret kicked at a clump of grass on the path. "All of them? Or just Reno?"

He'd called her out there. She was surprised he'd gotten his teeth stuck in so quickly.

She stared at her feet. "I needed a friend."

"You've got friends," he replied, tone flat.

"I don't want to fight about this."

That much was true. This was supposed to be about building bridges, not burning them down. In the years she'd known Barret she'd learnt how to read him, how best to respond when the ends of his temper started to fray. Treading carefully would allow her to make him understand.

"Me neither," he agreed. "But I can't guarantee you're gonna like what I'm gonna say."

"Don't say it then."

She tried to smile but the expression faltered on her face.

He chuckled and squeezed her shoulder. "Tifa, we're friends. And sometimes that means hearing things you don't wanna hear."

"I know."

Although her heart was warmed slightly by his half-embrace, worry still curled through her gut. She waited for the hammer to fall.

Barret cut straight to the chase.

"The day of the accident, you was with Reno."

It was a statement, not a question. He already knew the answer. The calm in his voice was unnerving, she'd expected him to rant and curse. Instead, he was speaking to her as calmly as he would've spoken to Marlene. She wondered whether he'd spoken to Cloud.

"It was them damn photos wasn't it?" he asked, not waiting for her to acknowledge his words.

"Cloud told you?"

"He mentioned something," Barret replied, deliberately vague. "I'm guessing you was pretty upset by them."

"Angry," she admitted. "Really angry."

"Why him?"

"Reno? He's been coming to the bar for a while now. Ever since they helped out when Kadaj..." She smoothed the hem of her skirt out. "I guess we just started talking."

"Talking's one thing. Getting friendly with a Turk is dangerous."

"He's not dangerous."

"Don't let the act fool you. He's a cold-blooded murderer. They all are."

"That's not true."

She wished he could see that.

"Tifa…" Barret shook his head, apparently deciding to change tack. "Why'd you start talking to him?"

"I haven't been happy for a long time." She could feel the tremor starting in her voice and she swallowed hard, trying to control it. "He noticed."

"Why ain't you been happy?"

"I don't know."

"You do know," he said levelly. "You just don't wanna say it."

Where to begin? No reason seemed good enough when she tried to string the words together. She didn't want him to feel guilty, she'd played as big a part in how her life had turned out as he had, but she needed him to understand.

"I was lonely," she said quietly, struggling to find the words. "Cloud was never there. And when he was it was like he was someplace else."

Barret waited for her to continue.

"I'd got the kids and the bar and I was doing it all by myself," she continued, the words coming in a rush. "I love the kids more than anything. And I love the bar... But everybody else is out there and I'm just…"

"Stuck?"

She sighed. "It sounds so selfish when I say it out loud."

"I haven't been there when I should've been," Barret admitted. "I got so caught up in the bigger picture I couldn't see what was in front of my own damn eyes. But I just want what's best for Marlene and that's you and Cloud, for the moment anyway."

There was no hint of threat in his words, just the truth that had always hung in the air between them. Marlene's home with Tifa was only ever supposed to be temporary, as permanent as it had become. Barret would always be her father, he'd just acknowledged that he wasn't able to provide the stability she needed. Whilst he worked on creating that, Tifa would always be there.

"I know," she replied. "I do too."

"It scares me that it could happen all over again." He closed his eyes. "We lost so much. Not just Avalanche. Marlene lost her family 'cause of Shinra. Hell, Denzel's an orphan 'cause of them bastards too. Their hands are never gonna be clean Tifa. Don't matter how many times they scrub 'em."

"Barret, my hands are dirty too."

"No," he shook his head emphatically. "That ain't the same. We was doing it for the right reasons. They was doing it for their goddamn paycheck."

"They were following orders. They didn't have a choice," she countered, struggling to reconcile it all in her head. She had to try and make him understand. "It was us or them."

"No reason in hell good enough to justify what they did," he replied, darkness crossing his expression. "There's always a choice. They could've said no."

"There's more to it than that," she insisted. "What if you had to choose? Me and Marlene… Or Sector Seven?"

"That's a shitty question."

"Why?"

"'Cause I'd choose you and Marlene in a heartbeat. But that doesn't make me a goddamn hero," he said and the conviction in his voice cut at her. "I'd still be a murdering son of a bitch and nothing would change that."

She faltered, her reply caught in her throat. The doubts were creeping in thick and fast, unravelling her carefully constructed argument like pulling at a loose thread.

"And you wouldn't have let me drop the plate just to keep you safe," he challenged.

"No," she whispered, voice hollow. She'd have fought it.

"That's the difference."

"People can change," she said, although she could hear the uncertainty in her words. "They have changed."

"Sure they can. And they probably have." He drummed his fingers against her shoulder agitatedly. "But you can't change the past, no matter how hard you try. Can't bring the dead back to life."

She felt as though the rug was being pulled out from beneath her. A little breathing room from Reno had already started to throw things into perspective and now she was running headlong for the precipice. The sun was going down over the uncharted territory she'd found herself in, and with the nighttime came the crippling doubt, cold and unwelcome.

Tifa knew that Reno regretted the plate. Didn't she? He'd clung to keeping his family safe, locked in by orders he couldn't refuse. What other choice did he have?

He could've said no. The thought slipped insidiously into the forefront of her mind. They could've fought harder.

"Tifa... I'm gonna ask you a question and I want a straight answer."

She nodded, thoughts spiralling away from her. Urgent kisses, wandering hands, strong arms holding her close…

Blue eyes.

Sarcastic smiles.

A weapon primed, a blood-spattered suit... A Turk incapacitated and still refusing to back down… Her knees felt week, nausea gripping her.

"What's going on between you and that goddamn Turk?"

Word echoed in her mind, a desperate exchange on the maintenance platform all those years ago. How different things could've been...

"How do we stop it?"

"Who knows."

"I don't know," she whispered, dragging her mind out of the past.

It would've been better if he was angry. Anger would've given her justification for the feelings that were clawing their way to the surface. She wanted this Reno, the charmer that had flirted with her over shorts at the bar and who wasn't afraid to show her affection. He was the man that had given her his jacket at the hospital and taken charge when she'd been too broken to think clearly, who'd seen how she was really feeling without her explaining and had recognised her struggle to lead the life she'd wound up leading.

This Reno made her heart race. He made her smile.

"I've known you for a long time." There was emotion in Barret's voice instead of anger, desperation to understand what was going on. It cut her like a knife. "And I know what you're doing. He's come to you with a sob-story and you wanna help him, just like you help everybody else."

"That's not what happened."

"I'll bet that's exactly what happened," he replied.

"He's changed," she tried to insist, voice rapidly losing its conviction.

She liked this Reno. The other Reno had laughed while he struck them down, his attacks swift, indiscriminate and brutal. Years later she could still feel the sharp jolt of his mag-rod against her ribs and the long seconds of panic as she struggled to remember how to breathe, how to see, how to think.

When had he changed? Had he changed?

Yes, he had. Was it enough?

"I'm not gonna tell you what a damned fool you're being," Barret said gently. "You're upset 'cause of Cloud and Marlene and Denzel… and all this other crazy shit that's going on. Just try and keep your head screwed on."

Her mouth was dry. "I know what I'm doing."

"Just take a step back and have a think about it all. That's all I'm asking," he said ruefully. "People make mistakes when they're hurting. I know that better than anybody."

"I waited for Cloud." The resolve that had come so easily to her the night before was trickling slowly through her fingers. "The photographs… They hurt."

"I know they did," Barret replied. "But have you talked to him about it? 'Cause the more I think about it the more it just don't add up."

"I don't know what to say to him."

She could feel the heat in her eyes now and the tears clinging to her eyelashes. As the afterglow from the night before wore ever thinner, the implications of her decision came crashing down on her. She stared at the ground, unable to look Barret in the eye.

"Cloud's hurting pretty bad," Barret pointed out. "He needs a friend."

She knew he was hurting. She'd been the one to hurt him.

At first, angry and upset, she'd told herself that Cloud had betrayed her. He'd made a mistake that had cut her to pieces and kissing Reno had been a distraction from the pain in her chest. Laying fault with Cloud had temporarily sated the guilt that was eating away at her, allowing her to keep her moral high ground just that little bit longer.

Her moral high ground crumbled more and more as she forced herself to think clearly. Cloud didn't owe her his fidelity. They'd never found that final step from friends to something more. It was her that had struggled to accept that, unable to move forwards. And when he'd finally given her the thing she'd held out for, when he'd finally said the words she'd longed to hear…

She'd crawled into bed with Reno. Her head was spinning, chest tight.

"Tifa…"

Barret manoeuvred her carefully until she was standing in front of him, and lifted her chin with his thumb. She met his eyes unwillingly.

"You can't fall for Reno. You know that."

"I know!" The tears she'd fought began to fall. "I know I can't."

"But you are?"

The tiniest of nods, imperceptible but still important.

"Damn fool," he grumbled, wrapping his good arm tightly around her.

She leaned into him, resting her cheek against his chest. The tears she'd been trying to hold back were flowing freely now and she pressed her face into his body, willing them to stop. Tears for the boy she'd loved and pushed away. For the ending she'd craved that had never been fully realised, the adventures lost, and the opportunities wasted. Tears for the past she couldn't leave behind. Barret held her silently until her shoulders stopped shaking and didn't begrudge her the damp smudges on his vest when she finally pulled away.

She'd returned to her cabin after that. Barret had shown an unusual amount of restraint in the face of her admission, perhaps realising that this time things weren't quite as black and white as he liked them to be. He hadn't judged her and for that, she was wholly grateful.

Tifa let herself through the door and leaned against the cool surface. Her eyes were raw and her head was still spinning. She needed time to think.

The bed was still unmade, exactly how she'd left it. There was still an indent in the pillow where he'd slept, arms wrapped around her. And next to the pillow…

Tifa stared, blood turning cold.

A stuffed Moogle, fur stained by years of devotion. A stuffed Moogle that had been missing since the chaos of the accident, presumed never to be seen again.

Marlene…