Ceabhail:

That was a nice vacation. Anyway. I'm back. Not sure for how long, but I'm back. Here you go!

Oh, and enjoy =^^=

"Let's party…" I sighed, raising a small pint of mead to myself as I sat alone at a dinner table. The party was fun and all, but I just wanted a small second to myself. I had guy after guy coming up to me, requesting a dance, and then talked themselves up while pestering me to see if I was single or not. I had to smile through my teeth and remind every single person I came across… that I'm currently dating a Khajiit assassin girl. That shut down most requests. And since Ky has super hearing, being a cat and all, I could literally see her tail wagging at each mention of me dating her. And I'm not… not really anyway. Shite… I have to break her heart. That's going to suck. She strikes me as a yandere.

"Really?" I almost jumped out of my skin, which can literally happen these days, when I heard Hadvar right over my shoulder.

"Fierfek!" I screamed, grabbing my heart with my free hand. I exhaled sharply as I looked over my shoulder, seeing the Imperial agent dressed in his military formal attire. "Hey, Had."

"Had? I have a nickname?" He chuckled as he sat next to me, placing a plate filled with deer meat down onto the spot next to me.

"Keep it up, and you'll get more than that if we keep meeting up like this." I chuckled weakly. "Just so you know… I'm not interested in you. I know we've had a few moments, but to be clear… I guess I'm dating Ky." Not by my choice.

Hadvar laughed. "So I've heard." He gestured to the dancefloor. "So, up for dancing? If you're dancing with me, Nazeem will leave you alone."

All night… "Do you wish to visit my cloud district? Oh, what am I saying… of course you do." What a charmer.

I shook my head. "Don't really know any dances. At least, not dances like these. Most of my dances are…" Violent. "they involve fists, swords… you know. Fun dances. Dances not danced in a place like this."

"Hadvar…" I looked over to the right, seeing Lydia walking over to us. "We really haven't had the chance to talk." She was clutching her blue dress tightly. Oh… I've seen this stance before. It had me grinning from earhole to earhole. I leaned down, resting my head on my hand as I watched the nervous woman approaching us.

Hadvar, the ever confused man, waved at Lydia. "Hello, Lydia. Do you wish to join us?"

"Actually… I…"

I smiled. I glanced from Lydia over to Hadvar. He still didn't seem to understand what Lydia actually wanted. She wanted his D. "You… what?"

"Remember your proposal?" Lydia suddenly blurted out. Her face was bright red. This was glorious to witness. "You asked me to marry you?"

Hadvar, the just now figuring it out stupid person, bolted out of his seat. "You mean… you want…"

"To talk. And dance." Lydia's voice was strained. I was trying my best to keep my voice to myself, and I reached for my cup of mead.

Hadvar glanced over to me. His face was blushing over, and he was fumbling his fork in his hand as he dropped it on the plate. "My apologies, Dragonborn. It would seem that my childhood friend would like to spend a dance together."

I nodded. "Ah huh. Sure that's all she wants?" I laughed as I seductively bit the end of my fork. "Nothing else at all?"

Seeing Hadvar's face fully blossom into a rose, he rose from his chair, knocking it over. "I shall see you later."

"Please wash first. I can smell strong odors. And the last thing I want to smell… is the after party." That set Hadvar over the edge as he chuckled nervously. Jeez… what a bunch of children. I'm ace, and even I don't act like that around people. Or… am I just making him seem more childish than he really is? I really don't know.

Hadvar bowed to me, walking over to Lydia. I waved as the two walked away, hand in hand. I like this. Lydia and Hadvar, dating. That's cool. And since Lydia and I will be living in the same village of our creation, that would mean that Hadvar might be joining us. Maybe even help her with clearing out the fort we need to take. That's what I hope.

I sighed as I leaned back in my chair. Back to being alone again. Me… and my mead. Too bad Argonians are resistant to poisons. I need a lot of mead to get even the slightest bit buzzed. It's like being Irish all over again.

"Hello there." I heard a scratchy voice call from over my shoulder… again. What is it with people calling to me from over my shoulder? I need a detection spell.

"Hello… Obi-Wan Kenobi." I muttered. I glanced over my shoulder, seeing M'aiq looking down at me. "Or Lorkhan. Either is fine with me."

"This one does not understand why you assume he is Lorkhaj. He is not." M'aiq pulled up the chair next to me, opposite of where Hadvar sat, and sat down. "Lorkhaj is the moons." M'aiq said with a straight face. "The Last child of Fadomai, cursed with the heart filled with the void. His sister, Azurah, pulled the void from his heart, and she held him close to her as he died. He now walks the skies, for all phases of his life. Scholars have debated this… even the heart of Lorkhaj. Lorkhaj is the moons. The phases of life are the phases of the moons. M'aiq is but one Khajiit. He cannot be this… moon cat."

This one cat has been in at least three Elder Scroll games. 300 years of doing shit. "Okay, maybe not Lorkhan, but… you're not an ordinary Khajiit. I can tell that much. You were in Morrowind when the Nerevarine killed House Dagoth. You were in Cyrodiil during the Oblivion Crisis. And here you are… in Skyrim. During a dragon invasion. You've lived at least 250 years. And you still look young. And don't give me the crap statement that your father, and his father, were all named M'aiq. With the same title: The Liar."

M'aiq smirked. "Perhaps M'aiq is a Liar, but perhaps he is a god. Maybe not Lorkhaj. Maybe Rajhin, cursed with life for stealing the One Ring of invisibility… making Rajhin invisible to even death."

"Don't Deathly Hallows me." I shook my head. "But… you could be telling the truth. Like you'd ever do that." I spun my chair towards M'aiq. "Okay, let's say we're running with this theory. You're some kind of god… or godkin. One of those people who obtained god standing by virtue of learning how to become one. You could just as easily be a Daedric god like Sheogorath."

"The Skooma cat?" M'aiq asked. "Too easy. M'aiq does enjoy his skooma. M'aiq could also be the personification of Riddle Thar, or even the bandit god: Baan Dar."

I sighed. Now M'aiq was mentioning every Khajiit god. He was trying to throw me off his scent. "That is possible. You know what…" I slammed my mead down, grabbing M'aiq's hand. "We're going to dance."

"We? Dance?" He pulled my hand away. "M'aiq does not dance."

"Yeah, neither do I. But.." I pulled M'aiq out of his chair. "We're friends. So, we're going to dance."

M'aiq's face grimaced. "Us? Friends? Making a lot of assumptions here."

I smiled as I wrapped my hand around his waist. "Let's just say… I'm optimistic. And very forceful."

M'aiq pushed me back, creating some space between us. "M'aiq is not interested in Argonian girl."

"I'm not interested in anyone." I replied back. "But we can still dance."

M'aiq groaned as I started dancing us around the dinner table. Everyone else was on the dancefloor, but we had more space over here to talk. "So, M'aiq… tell me. Are you a god?"

"Why would M'aiq tell you?" M'aiq replied back. "Even if M'aiq said he was a normal Khajiit, you have this belief that he is not."

"I have plenty of reasons why." I spun under M'aiq's arm. We embraced again as we slow danced. "As mentioned… you've been around, for a long time. And… let's just say I know you know things. You know something's off about this world. You know hidden lore that most people would think are lies. Maybe you're a Liar, but it's because you see the truth, whereas everyone else sees lies. And I know that mortals can ascend to godhood by process of CHIM. Becoming so aware of the world that you can literally see through time. To gaze through the eyes of Akatosh. So… tell me, M'aiq… are you CHIM achieved?"

M'aiq dipped me, smirking. "M'aiq could ask the same of the seeress. She claims to know M'aiq being alive during events throughout history. Knowing these things, things that happened in the past… are beyond what a normal seeress can see."

He had me there. M'aiq raised me back up, and I pulled him closer to me. We were inches away. And yet, there was no tension between us, except the tightness of our hands as we fought each other. This was fun. I'm actually having fun. "Maybe I'm just the Shezarrine, the reincarnation of Lorkhan… wandering this world, offering my assistance during times of need."

"First she accuses poor M'aiq of being the god Lorkaj, and then claims to be him?" M'aiq purred a response to me as we started dancing again. "Is this finally the Argonian's confession of not being a girl?" Ugh… I'm tired of people bringing up my flat chest. This dress did nothing to help either.

I stomped on M'aiq's foot "accidentally". "Gods transcend gender." Even if some don't in this universe. "But no… I'm a girl." I glanced up at M'aiq's eyes. "So, tell me, M'aiq. I'm just curious. I know you're special, I just don't know… how you're special. So… here, right now… tell me the truth."

We stopped dancing. M'aiq looked stopped in his thoughts. He was trying to think of something to say.

"When we were in the ruins, I made referential jokes. Jokes that only people like me… and Recorder would know. People not from this world. And you… you laughed. You're either a god… or something not from this world." Our dance had come to a complete stop, and we stood there, underneath a lit chandelier.

"Excuse me." I groaned as I heard Nazeem's voice coming from across the dinner table.

We both broke eye contact to see him standing there. He looked very boldly at me. "I would like to ask you. … Do you wish to cum to my Cloud District often? Or just tonight?"

I sighed, groaning as I looked back at M'aiq. "I'll be right back. I have to kill a bitch."

I smirked as I turned to face Nazeem. "Hey… buddy. Want to dance?" I cracked my knuckles. "I'll take you straight to pound town. I'll take you to the real Cloud District. Cloud 9."

"That sounds quite lovely."

Yeah… it will be.

…

(One brutal murdering later)

I slipped my dress back on, making sure there was no blood on my body. I tried to keep it as bloodless as possible. I convinced Nazeem that Argonians have sex through our tails, so I shoved mine down his throat. There was a lot of thrashing… not the kind you're thinking of. Well… maybe it is… hell, I don't know your kinks. We don't kink shame in this guild. Anyway, Nazeem thrashed a lot, slowly but surely choking down my throbbing tail. He eventually gave in and went limp. And with that… I had the best sexual experience of my life. And the only one. Huh… I think I'm doing sex wrong. The guy's dead. Also I didn't experience anything gratifying other than a guy eating my tail. Sex is weird.

I wiped the white stuff of the tip of my tail, using Nazeem's fancy robes as a towel. Well, that was a thing. And it happened. My first kill. Wow…

I'm glad it was Nazeem.

I brushed my hands off, steeling myself for what came next. "Okay, Talia. You have him right where you wat him. Just… wrap your arms around him, hug him close… and get him to tell you the words you want to hear… 'Yes… I'm a god.'"

After that pep talk, I walked up the staircase back to the main floor. Someone would eventually find Nazeem, but by then, I'd be long gone.

I brushed my dress flat, made sure my feathers were unruffled, and then, exhaled before I walked back to the party. As I made my way back to the dining area, I could see that no one even noticed I had stepped out. M'aiq was still waiting for me by the table. Huh… I thought he would have stepped out. I would have taken the time to leave. This made what came next so much… less fun for me. I like it when they run. The chase is half the fun.

"So, where were we?" I asked as I approached M'aiq.

M'aiq shrugged. "M'aiq was about to leave. You smell weird. What happened down there?"

I shrugged. "What normally happens between two consenting adults? Nazeem wanted some tail, and he bit off more than he could chew." Too literal.

M'aiq snickered at my comment.

"Anyway, there's just one thing I wanted to know."

"M'aiq is normal Khajiit."

"Not going there." I replied. "A bunch of us are putting together our plots of land to build a settlement. You own a plot of land now, so… I was hoping you'd join us."

M'aiq shrugged. "M'aiq sees no reason to do this…"

I groaned.

"M'aiq also sees no reason not to." M'aiq finished.

That brought a smile to my face. "Thanks... Lorkhan... or…whoever you are."

M'aiq shrugged. One of his eyes started glowing. "It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing…"

I snapped a kick at M'aiq. "Shut up."

M'aiq dodged my kick by pulling his leg back. "But, kids like you don't play by the rules, and guys like me are not easy to be played for fools. Go ahead and try to hit me if you're able."

I groaned, covering my earholes. "Shut up. That song's been stuck in my head for years!" My brother annoyed the shit out of me with that song. He loved Undertale. I never could get into actually playing it.

"Good bye, idiot!" I screamed to M'aiq. "I better see you at the mine when I get back. Speak to Ky, Recorder, or Lydia. They'll know what I'm planning."

M'aiq waved goodbye to me. "M'aiq will listen."

I'm so done talking to him. That… that threw me for a loop. I mean… I knew he was different. He referenced something not from this world… directly… to my face. Shite! He shouldn't even know about Undertale. No one here should! Except for maybe Recorder. I wonder if she went there at some point.

I made my way across the dancefloor, coming across Recorder, who was standing off in a corner by herself. She was snacking on a sweet roll. Just like her. I nodded to Record, standing next to her.

She didn't seem happy at seeing me though, exhaling sharply as she looked at me. "Don't you have someone else to bother?"

"I have a question." I turned to look at her.

She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Oh… the migraine's back." She exhaled. "Fine."

"Undertale. Been there?"

Recorder shook her head. "No I haven't. Sans has though. He's a professor at my academy. He teaches moral philosophy to new recruits. We learn how to blend in with our host environments, and when to act out of character only when preserving a realm's natural order. As in… when a player kills off every villager in the world. To buy property…" Recorder glared at me.

Huh… that makes sense. I wonder if M'aiq is a Recorder. It would make… so much sense.

"Again with my village killing. If it was so bad, why didn't you hijack my character? Or shut down my world? Sans does it. Why haven't you?"

Recorder sighed. "My first assignment. I was weak, powerless. Besides that, we're to record your adventures, not interfere. Sans… went off mission. That's why he teaches moral philosophy. So we know when we have to cross that line."

Excuses.

"Well, anyway. I will be leaving here shortly. I just thought I'd ask you about Undertale before I left for Riften."

Recorder nodded. "Well, you can go now. I answered your question."

I pointed over to M'aiq. "Is M'aiq one of you?"

Recorder shrugged. "I was assigned to Skyrim. But he might be one of us. Why? Is he…"

"He referenced Undertale." I replied.

Recorder covered her mouth, trying her best to keep herself from screaming. "He did?" Recorder narrowed her eyes. "I'll keep my eye on him."

I nodded. "Good thinking. He's either one of you… or he's one of me. Or something in between."

Recorder was paralyzed. "I get what you're saying. I'll keep my eyes on him; see what's going on with him. Maybe call my supervisor. See if she knows anything about this."

I gave Recorder a wave and left her with that. "Well, I have to go say goodbye to my gf now."

I made my way across the dancefloor, where Ky was busy dancing her heart out by the long fireplace. I mentally prepared myself as I approached her. She was spinning around, waving her arms in the air, almost like how I imagined I would dance in a club if I ever visited one.

I smiled as she turned to face me. "Oh, you've decided to join Ky? Care for a dance?" Her nose twitched. "You smell of shame and regret. Also urine and death?" She smiled even thicker. "Ky'ren-thia approves!" She took my hands in hers, wrapping her tail around my waist, and started moving us around the palace in her fast-paced dance.

"Yeah… I may have done something to Nazeem…" I tried to hide the nervous chuckle growing.

"Ky'ren-thia will not judge. She has done much worse for much less. She can assure you of that." She released my hand, spinning me across the floor with her tail, making me dizzy, and then pulled me back, still curling her tail around me. This… was this how Khajiits dance? It's pretty cool. I have to meet some Argonians. I need to learn the dances of my people. Luckily, there are some Argonians in Riften.

"So… Ky." Ky had just finished spinning back to her, and I was feeling a bit queasy. "You know I'm not…"

Ky nodded. "She knows you aren't interested in a physical relationship."

"Okay… but…"

Ky chuckled. "She enjoys seeing you suffer. Much you enjoy making Hadvar suffer."

Ah… this was a joke. "Okay so… this whole thing…"

Ky reached over, licking me across my cheek. She pulled away, purring. "Here if you want it, but she does expect you to do anything. She heard you were called Talia the Unfuckable." Oh yeah… that's a thing.

I angry-glared over to Uthgerd, who was busy talking to Jarl Balgruuf. "Yup… she's Talia The Unfuckable."

Balgruuf nodded. "That sounds appropriate. I'll be sure to have the plaque engraved with that title."

Still not a lie though.

I sighed as I looked back at Ky. "Okay… let's play with that idea. True, I don't do the sex thing. Or the kissing thing. But this…" I wrapped her up in a hug. "This I can do."

Ky purred, wrapping me in a return hug. "Is this Talia's way of saying…"

"Keep it this simple… and yeah. Basically, yeah. I'll be your girlfriend. I'll accept face-licks and occasionally… nose-kissing. As in, rubbing our noses together, not actually kissing each other's noses. That's gross."

Ky laughed. "So weird."

"Shut up. I'm weird. I get that."

"Ky'ren-thia can do weird."

"Technically, you can't do this weird."

I felt a smack on the back of my head. "Shut up, weirdo."

We held a hug for a few seconds, just dancing to the beat the bard was pounding on the drum. I was thinking about how weird my life had become. I was dating a cat-person. This was weird. Almost as weird as that Navy girl I 'dated'. That was a weird year. And even if I can't ever look at peanut butter the same way again thanks to her, this life was probably a bit crazier. It sure seems pretty close.

I broke my hug with Ky, kissing her on the cheek. "I'm going to go now. To Riften. To collect an old man, murder an old lady… oh… and in the basement, beneath the dining hall…"

Ky nodded. "She can smell the defecation. She will clean it up."

A couple people overheard her, and they quickly casted a small glance at me, a disgusted glance. Ky was smiling awkwardly. Yup… perfect girlfriend.

"Yup… too many sweet rolls… and I'm lactose intolerant. It's everywhere." I supported the lie, which caused more people to shuffle their dances away from me.

Ky laughed at my statement, leaned over, and licked my cheek. "She will take care of it. Go to Riften."

We broke contact, and I watched as Ky turned for the dining hall. I was lucky to have someone willing to help me clean up my murders.

I looked for Delphine in the crowd of dancing nobles. And… I didn't find her. And since finding a spy is really hard… I decided on doing this… my way.

I took a deep breath, leaned back, and screamed, "HEY, DELPHINE! I'M HEADING DOWN TO THE CARRIAGE NOW! MEET ME THERE!"

I felt a poke in my lower back, which caused me to jump.

"Shut up!" Delphine hush-screamed at me. "Let's go."

I smiled, laughing as I took her hand. "Okay, travel buddy."

Delphine grumbled to herself, pulling me alongside her. "Of all the stupid Dragonborns I could have been paired up with… I get stuck with the loudest, dumbest…."

I love her.

Cearbhail:

One hell of a lore dump. By the way... I learned about something knew... to me anyway. Demigods... and demiprinces. I totally did not know about those until today. Anyway. There you go. Enjoy that. Also, I have a girlfriend now.

And yes... let's discuss M'aiq. There... he's been discussed.