A/N: Look at all the love for this fic, even though things between Zoe & Wade aren't the best right now. Thanks, folks :) Now, despite the fact it isn't even Autumn/Fall yet, I wish you all a Merry Christmas ;)

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 19

"Merry Christmas, Zoe," said Harley, wearing a large smile as he produced her gift with a flourish.

"Thank you," she said, as she took the wrapped box from him, forcing a smile back at him but finding it hard.

Honestly, she had every reason to be grateful to her father and ought to feel lucky that he was being so understanding about her situation. He had welcomed her into his life, into his home, and consistently provided everything she needed, regardless of money or inconvenience to himself. Zoe already felt as if she could love him like the dad he seemed to want to be to her, and this really ought to be a wonderful Christmas, but the truth was, it just couldn't be.

Though she tore into her gift with as much gusto as she could muster and was genuinely happy with the effort Harley had clearly gone to in choosing it for her, Zoe couldn't really say she was having a good day or that she expected it to get any better. Though Christmas was a time for family, and she was here with her natural father, she hadn't talked to her mom in three weeks now. Then there was Wade, but Zoe was trying even harder not to think about him than about Candice.

"If it's not to your taste..." Harley was saying of the gift and Zoe realised too late that she must have zoned out again.

"I promise, I love it," she swore, even as she put the box aside. "Thank you so much," she said again, rising to her feet and leaning in to plant a kiss on his cheek. "You really shouldn't even have bought me anything. You've already done so much-"

"Oh, hush now," Harley insisted, patting her hand when she sat back in her seat. "I think I have plenty of making up to do for all those years I wasn't in your life, no matter the reason why," he told her definitely. "Now, what I don't understand is what that bag right there might be," he said, nodding to the gold-coloured giftbag tucked on the other side of Zoe's chair. "Now, didn't I tell you plain enough not to go wasting your money on me, Zoe?"

"What can I say? I don't always take instruction well," she said with a more genuine smile, reaching for the bag and handing it over. "Merry Christmas, Harley."

The smile began to fade again even as her father opened up his gift. It wasn't that she was worried he wouldn't like it, because she already knew it was exactly what he would like. She had Wade to thank for that. Wade who had been with her when she went to collect her things from first Yale and then New York, who had seen the perfect gift for Harley in a store window and told Zoe as much. She bought it immediately, thanking him so much for his help and hiding that same gift away until now.

It seemed too strange to think that, just a month ago, she was celebrating Thanksgiving, or rather Planksgiving, in the company of her good friend Wade, and now, it had been a solid week since they had said more than 'Hello' to each other in passing. Zoe knew she couldn't blame him, after all, she had been the one to tell him she didn't need him babysitting her all the time. It was supposed to be better, to not let him get so close and confuse issues the way he had been up to now, deliberately or not.

It hurt. Even though it was Zoe's choice, her decision to have Wade leave her be, she almost wished he hadn't listened and insisted on continuing to be there for her. That was selfish and stupid and wrong, she was well aware, but she still wished it. Instead, Wade had started to enjoy the company of other people again, other girls, specifically. First, Tansy Truitt, and then some brunette, followed by a redhead, all within the week. Zoe made a joke to Harley about him trying to collect a whole set or something, but he hadn't found it at all funny, and honestly, neither had Zoe.

"Well, that is something."

She was brought back to the present moment by Harley staring in wonderment at his Christmas gift. He liked it, of course he did, and that was great, but once again, Zoe had to fake a smile when he told her as much.

"Thank you, Zoe. That is just wonderful," he told her, leaning over to give her a hug and kiss her cheek too.

"You're welcome," she assured him. "It's not like I have a whole bunch of people to buy gifts for, so..." she said, shrugging her shoulders, glad she didn't feel quite so emotional as she might have.

The constant crying at just about everything had eased a little in the past couple of weeks, which was good. With that and the morning sickness all gone, Zoe was just waiting for the next unpleasant pregnancy symptom to put in an appearance. She hoped rather than believed things would go a little more smoothly from here. Something certainly needed to.

"Well, I can guess what you're thinking about right now," said Harley, catching her attention again. "Next Christmas, things will be mighty different for us all."

His eyes strayed downward and only then did Zoe realised she had her arm around the slight swell of her stomach. The baby, of course, that was what he was talking about, and it was true enough that Zoe had been thinking about her child, though perhaps not in the same glowing terms. She hadn't even got as far as considering what it would be like this time next year, with a six-month-old baby in her lap. She wondered what it would mean to Harley too. After all, he never got the chance to see her at that age.

"I'm sorry you missed so much," she told him sadly. "My first Christmas, first birthday, first everything, really," she said, shaking her head. "I wish you could've been there."

"Now, Zoe," he said, reaching for her hand, "we talked about this already. It's not your fault, nor mine either, and I don't even wanna hear how your mother made the wrong choice. I don't think of her with any malice in my mind or heart, not anymore. If not for Candice and how much I loved her once upon a time, you wouldn't be here at all, and the world would be a worse place for it," he promised her.

"Thank you," she said, smiling bravely. "And hey, at least you'll get to see all the firsts with your grandchild. That's something, right?"

"That is going to be so special," Harley promised her, "and not just for me either. Now, before all of that happens, I would like you to remember that you are a young woman, experiencing Christmas in a new place for the first time," he said then, rising quickly from his seat and encouraging her to do the same. "I think it's just about time we ventured out into the world. I, for one, have a church service to go to, and neighbours to wish a Merry Christmas too. Will you take a walk with me, Zoe?" he asked, offering his hand to her.

There was a part of Zoe that wanted to say no, knowing it was easier to hide, from some of the less-nice neighbours and townsfolk in general, from Lemon and her Belle friends who were all back from college again, from Wade who would doubtless have a new bimbo on his arm at the very next opportunity. Of course, sometimes you had to do what wasn't easy. Parents often had to do that, Zoe knew, so it was probably best she got used to it, right now.

"I would love to talk a walk," she told Harley, placing her hand in his own and letting him help her up. "Let's go wish the rest of Bluebell a Merry Christmas."

Most people wanted to be at the church service in town. Harley had asked Zoe if she wanted to go in or not and in the end she had declined. It wasn't that she didn't believe in God or even that she was such a devout Jew as to make her being in a Christian church seem so very wrong, she just didn't feel like sitting amongst what mostly seemed to be the older denizens of Bluebell, potentially getting preached at, and being encouraged to put any energy she could muster into carol singing. Mild as winters were in Alabama, it was no problem to her to sit out in the town square, watching the world go by.

Not everybody in Bluebell was desperate to be in church, and some that were had left their kids outside in the square, making the most of their new gifts, Zoe supposed. There were some on bicycles, others on scooters and even skateboards. A little boy dragged a smart red wagon and a little girl pushed a shiny stroller with a baby doll sat proudly inside. It made Zoe smile, at first, and then she started to realise all over again how close she was to being a parent, how she would have a baby by next Christmas, a child who might ask for some of these kind of gifts, just two or three years from now.

"Mind if I join you?"

Zoe physically jumped when someone suddenly spoke to her, her hand covering her heart as she turned to look into the handsome face just above her.

"Hey, I'm sorry about that," said George Tucker with a nervous smile. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine," Zoe assured him, waving away his concern. "Um, please, sit down," she urged him, moving over from the centre of the bench to one side so there was more room. "Merry Christmas, by the way."

"And to you, Zoe," he told her, grin back to full beam by now. "I was surprised to see you out here by yourself."

"Well, Harley is at the service," she said, gesturing towards the church. "It's not really my scene."

"Right." George nodded, hands stuffed in his pockets. "Well, usually, it would be mine, but as it turns out, Momma didn't wanna leave home to come into town until my brother, Harry, arrived and he was runnin' late, so... I'm sorry, you don't wanna hear all my family issues, do you?"

"I don't mind." Zoe shrugged easily. "Honestly, I think I'd rather hear about your problems than continue to think about my own on a constant and very annoying loop."

She was glad he didn't ask what her problems were, but then, Zoe assumed George could guess. After all, she was pregnant and without a father for her child, plus there was the whole just-discovered-who-her-real-father-was thing. Oh yes, Zoe Hart's family dramas were well-known already, without her ever having to explain. She hadn't thought of George Tucker having problems though. He always seemed so happy.

"I guess my problems aren't so big," he said eventually. "It's just... I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my brother to death, I do, but Harry and me are different kinds of people and... well, I guess it's the same with all families. You always love 'em, but they still drive you crazy sometimes."

"I guess they do." Zoe nodded her agreement. "Um, what about Lemon? I mean, you and she are very close, right? Are you spending any time with her today?"

"I am hopin' so, later on, but she has her sister to see to. Magnolia is such a little thing and with their mother long gone... well, she has enough to keep her busy with her own family right now."

Zoe nodded in understanding. She had heard about the whole situation with the Breelands. It was sad, but honestly, she didn't like Lemon any better for it, just felt kind of sorry for her in a way. At least she still had her father and her sister. George may complain about his brother, but he had a sibling and parents to be with.

"Wade must be with his father," she said suddenly, as the thought occurred to her. "They're probably having a great time," she said with a sigh.

"Uh, I don't know how humour works in New York, but that's not funny, Zoe," George replied, looking pretty serious about it.

Zoe frowned. "I wasn't... Um, okay, what did I say wrong? Oh, right," she said fast before George barely got his mouth open to explain. "His dad has kind of a problem with alcohol, doesn't he?"

"You could say that." George nodded. "You still never met Earl?"

"Nope." Zoe shook her head. "I asked a couple of times but Wade was not keen. I guess that's understandable. I wouldn't want to introduce anybody to my mother when she drinks, so..."

"You know, Earl doesn't just drink socially or for fun, he has a serious problem," said George, looking more at his own hands than at Zoe. "I don't know what Wade has told you about his momma. I figured you knew most of it, given how close you guys seemed."

"I know she died," said Zoe warily. "That's when the drinking problem started, right?"

"Yes." George nodded once. "When we were all of ten years old... right before Christmas."

Zoe's eyes closed of their own accord as she winced hard. Right before Christmas. The anniversary of Wade's mother dying was just a few days ago, potentially even the very day that she was so awful to him at the Rammer Jammer. Right when Wade probably needed all the friends and comfort he could get, Zoe turned on him like a viper, and after all that he had done for her.

"Oh, God, I'm a horrible person," she declared, covering her face with her hands.

"I don't think that's really true," said George kindly. "Zoe, come on, if you didn't know?"

"I didn't know," she admitted, as he gently pulled her hand from her face and looked at her with no small amount of concern. "I swear, I had no idea it was the anniversary, or even how bad his dad was."

George shook his head. "Wade doesn't talk about it much. I just thought... well, like I said, with you two seeming so close..."

"We were," Zoe agreed, swallowing hard, "until the last few days when I was so horrible and stupid."

She stamped her feet in frustration, immediately debating whether she should go and see Wade right away or not. In the end, she decided on no. After all, she had done enough damage. To go barrelling over to his house now, intruding on things, pushing herself in where she didn't belong, that would absolutely make it worse. Maybe tomorrow, or in a couple of days, then she would go. She would apologise and make things right, she just had to.

"You okay, Zoe?" George asked her then.

"No," she said, smiling bravely, "but I will be. I just made a dumb mistake, that's all."

"Well, we all do that from time to time, we're all human after all," he said, smiling back at her, "but hey, it's a time for love and understanding and forgiveness, right? I'm sure you can make things right."

He excused himself a moment later, hurrying across the square to meet up with Lemon, Zoe noted, though she didn't care much. All she could think about now was Wade, in a different way to how he was crowding her thoughts earlier on. She really did have a lot of making up to do, even if she had screwed up mostly without knowing how badly she was doing it.

"A time for forgiveness," she said to herself, eyes turning heavenward. "I just keep on screwing up, huh?"

As she said it, the clouds parted, the sun breaking through and shining down onto Zoe's face. She wasn't sure if she believed in miracles, but that was quite the coincidence, at the very least, so she took it as a hopeful sign that everything between her and Wade could be fixed, in time. She wanted to believe, so she did.

To Be Continued...