My constant and grateful affection to LightofEvolution, In Dreams, and Mcal.
I also want to say thank you once again to everyone reading. Life is strange right now, but when I'm able to fall into the world of this fandom or interact with you through reviews, messages, etc, things feel normal for a moment. I appreciate knowing that the world is still turning outside, billions of us in the same boat. Or metaphorically, different little life boats, all with their own quirks, but not our normal mooring regardless. Thank you for drifting along beside me.
Saturday dawns clear and bright and sets Draco into another juggling act, bouncing between glorious morning afterglow with Granger and chasing his own proverbial tail to get Benedick back unnoticed.
Draco agrees to see Hermione in the evening after taking care of some nameless business. In truth, he spends the afternoon with his witch, just in a different way than he would prefer.
They walk through the park, but he would give his last galleon to do it with his arm around her rather than his neck on a leash. They sit outside at a cafe where he suffers the indignity of catching scraps of her sandwich. The bite that hits the ground, he refuses to eat.
"So sorry, Your Highness," she quips, but indulges him by offering a fresh piece.
She pets him and talks to him, spending a rather encouraging amount of time telling him about her new lover, the infamous Draco Malfoy. He preens when she giggles about how handsome he is, admitting to her familiar that she has had a bit of a thing for him since fourth. She qualifies the comment that she would never have actually considered him, utter prat that he was, but that his looks had caught her eye, nonetheless. She had even found him charming when she caught him speaking with other people, though his personality in regards to her had been deplorable.
Add that to his list of regrets. How different could things have been? Draco entertains the fantasy of attending the Yule ball with Granger on his arm, Krum watching him with envy (instead of the other way around).
Through all this, Draco also thinks of his family, his parents. All tied together with the knowledge that he can't continue as he is. A decision must be made, and Hermione is as much a part of the equation as his sense of devotion to his mother. Which means, if he stays, something must be done in regards to his double life. It was foolish to think he could find a solution by simply drawing out the problem, a lesson he should have learned in sixth.
He knows what he needs to do, of course, in regards to staying in England. Has already all but committed. Part of him feels selfish for even hesitating, for telling his parents he needed to read family history books rather than just blindly helping them. But, for once, he wanted to make a decision on his own terms. Even if he ultimately goes ahead with it, shackling himself to a future that was perhaps always his fate, he wants to do it with his eyes wide open and the knowledge that he had a choice.
In the evening, Draco as Benedick starts to wander, slipping away from Hermione for, at first, only a few moments, then longer blocks of time. His brilliant lover takes the hint.
"Are you feeling restless, my love? Come on then, I'll let you out."
Draco races up the stairs and hops onto the window sill, waiting for her to catch up.
"My, you are eager tonight." She flicks her wand at the window, and it raises just enough to let him slip through. Draco glances back at her once, hoping she takes his look as gratitude, then hops onto the branch. "Be careful, darling," she calls after him, but Draco is already scaling down the tree.
The worst is the waiting. If Draco doesn't want it to become obvious that his appearances are always coincidental to the marten's disappearance, he can't transform and run around to the front door.
Instead, he visits the owlery to send a message requesting tea with his mother. He would like to meet her away from the Manor, he writes, knowing full well that Lucius will not be able to attend. There is something satisfying about leaving the man in the dark just a bit longer. Just to be obstinate, he also demands she meet him in Muggle London where he has found himself to be more comfortable and tells her to wear something appropriate.
His terms. Draco will live by his terms if he's to do this. He will do what's right for his family, but they won't be the Malfoys that the wizarding world recognizes and reviles.
Not to mention, if he can manage it in spite of his sticky little situation with his marten form, he will do it all with Granger at his side.
Because she loves him. Fuck, if that's not the most miraculous thing that's ever happened to Draco Malfoy.
It takes him almost an hour to make it to the post and back again which feels like a proper amount of time between Benedick's departure and Draco's arrival. He saunters to the front step and rings the bell, grinning broadly when Hermione opens it for him.
"Draco." She breathes out his name through a smile, elated and relieved. He doesn't hesitate to step into her space and kiss her softly.
"Hello, lovely. Hungry?"
"I am, actually. Did you want to have something brought in?"
Draco shakes his head and takes a hold of her hand. "I want to take you out." He pauses before continuing, oddly pleased to tell Hermione of his decision first, before his parents or anyone else. "I've made a decision. And if I'm to stay in England, I'm just going to have to grow accustomed to being seen, won't I?"
Her smile splits her face. "You're staying?"
With a decisive nod, he agrees. "I'm staying. And I'd very much like to have you with me to help me through."
He's surprised when she throws her arms around his waist but not overly so. Wrapping himself around her in turn, Draco luxuriates in her affection and support. If he had any misgivings, any hesitation that he is doing the right thing for himself as well as his family, she eclipses all of it.
Hermione suggests a restaurant where she is fairly well known and always welcome. In a small building, not far from the Weasleys' shop, is a cafe owned by a couple known to have been vocal Order supporters during the war. Draco is aware of at least one occasion that some of the rougher Death Eaters had visited only to loudly complain of poor food and service before turning over tables and smashing dishes on their way out. He hopes their love for Hermione is able to overcome what he imagines must be hatred for him.
They walk side by side, Hermione's hand held in his, and Draco is aware of eyes on him. Typically keeping his cloak over his head while in wizarding public, he feels exposed. His witch, on the other hand, is grinning proudly beside him.
They pass a couple who sees him first, and the man sneers at him. Draco sees the woman beside him elbow his ribs and gesture to Hermione. The sneer becomes confusion, and then Draco has passed them and cannot see any further reaction. He hopes that the revulsion he elicits does not pass to Hermione as well.
More witches and wizards stop to stare as they walk by, Draco becoming more and more nervous all the while. No one speaks to him, no rude remarks, but some do nod at Hermione, side-eyeing him warily as they do.
By the time they reach the restaurant, Draco is tight with tension, stiff and unsure, eyes darting around him in search of sneering faces and harsh whispers amongst friends. If his witch has noticed, she is choosing not to comment and flounces into the restaurant, dragging Draco by the hand.
"Evening, Maggie." A witch of slightly advanced age turns and welcomes Hermione in turn.
"Hello, my dear! Just you as usual- oh! Oh, no, it appears there are two of you," she corrects herself and offers a saucy little wink. Draco relaxes infinitesimally. The woman must not recognize him.
"Lookit you, out with the Malfoy heir. What a handsome couple you make, darling."
Scratch that; apparently, she does. Granger just offers a smile.
"Come on then. Your table is open." With that, the woman picks up two parchments, presumably menus, and leads them into the dining area.
Draco leans over and asks, " Your table?"
Hermione shrugs and smiles up at him. "She likes me."
Maggie doesn't linger once they are seated, sashaying away to fetch the drinks they requested and stating she will send over one of her staff in a moment. Draco takes a moment to look around and finds a few faces eyeing him in turn. More confusion, more distaste, but no one says anything, and for that he is grateful.
"So, you've decided to stay."
He looks back at Hermione to find her smiling at him, her hand laying upon the table just begging to be held. He obliges, threading his fingers through hers and resting them on the cloth covered table for two.
"I've decided to stay."
"Your mother will be grateful, I'm sure," she comments. "And your father, though he doesn't strike me as the type to show it."
Draco chuckles and agrees that Lucius, indeed, is not adept at showing gratitude. He sobers then and adds, "But, really, I think I was already staying. They just forced me to confront it officially."
"Oh?" She looks at him, expectant, and so he continues.
"I was leaving because I had nothing to stay for. I never expected this." He gestures between them. "This chance you've given me… You're worth staying for, even if all of England hates me."
"Maggie didn't seem to mind you," she quips but rubs her thumb over his hand in a loving and sympathetic gesture. She glances around, and Draco notices the heads of the other patrons turn back to their meals when she catches them staring.
"Time will help," she says, low and a little sad. "Time helps everything."
"Granger, I…" He stops, unsure why he feels a sudden need to lay everything out for her. But, fuck, she loves him. Loves him… and he'll be damned if she catches him out before he can tell her what he's done.
Taking a deep breath, he starts again. "I need you to know, there's something I've done... from before. And I'm not quite ready to tell you, but I will. I promise you that."
She looks back at him in question, trying to puzzle his secrets from the expression on his face.
"Why can't you tell me now?"
He shakes his head. "I don't think I can; don't even know how to even say the words. I need time, but… I want you to know that I'm trying. I don't want secrets between us, and I'm trying to live up to my end of that."
"You're afraid that, whatever this is, I won't want to be with you?"
Draco considers that. Does he believe she will forgive him? Can he even hope for it? She's one of the most kind and understanding witches he knows. Then again, her vindictive streak is the stuff of legends. He lands on a confused truth. "I'm not sure. I suppose I must be afraid of the possibility. Though, I'm resting hope that, some day, maybe you will understand."
Hermione looks around the restaurant before leaning forward and lowering her voice. "Have you… During the war… Did you kill someone?"
He's startled, staring at her with wide eyes before blurting out, "Merlin, no! Fuck, Granger, you go right for worst case don't you?"
"Well it must be fairly bad if you think I won't forgive you." She continues to study him until it's uncomfortable, Draco shifting his eyes away from her stare. He feels her hand squeeze his. "Draco?"
He wishes he'd not said anything, knowing she will be hard pressed to let this drop. Draco looks back at her, full of trepidation. "Please, Hermione, just… trust me in this. I will tell you; I just need to work some things out. The situation got away from me. I didn't make a conscious decision to land where I have."
"You're not seeing someone else are you?" She asks in a small voice, her hand falling away, but he reaches for it and holds tight.
"Never. You are the witch I want, Granger. Only you. It's nothing like that. What I've done…" He searches the room, trying to find words to soothe her. "I did something before I saw you again; before that day I ran into you on the street. I didn't think it would matter. Honestly, I didn't think I had anyone in my life that would care what I did... But now it does matter. There were consequences I hadn't considered at the time. But I've not been disloyal to you, and I won't. Not ever."
She offers a half smile, a concession to allow his reluctance. "You sound like a Hufflepuff."
Surprised into a laugh, Draco leans forward. "I do have one secret I can tell you. A show of good faith for future honesty?" She leans in as well with curiosity. Draco goes on in a stage whisper, "I always wanted to be a Hufflepuff. If only because of the proximity to the kitchens."
She laughs with him, and they discuss his 'puff-like traits for some time. Draco feels somewhat lighter, knowing that he has been open to a degree. It wasn't a confession, but he confessed to the need for one, and that feels like a first step, like he's laid the groundwork to sincere regret. It can never be said he didn't try to apologize, that he didn't own up to having made a mistake.
And that right there is why the hat adamantly sent him to the snakes. He might have the fierce loyalty of a badger, but he also works problems from all angles, and now he has lived to fight another day, metaphorically speaking.
Hermione doesn't ask again about his secret, though he can see her mind turning, a glazed expression occasionally taking over her face as she stares at nothing across the room.
He can't live this double life forever, and when he's ready, he will find a way to make it right. For now, she needs Benedick as surely as Draco needs her.
Once the evening is done, Draco says he will see her soon, but that he wants to be fresh for tea with his mother. She pouts a little, and Draco pushes her gently against the exterior wall of the restaurant, burying his hands in her hair and kissing her soundly. "If I come home with you, I fear we won't sleep as much as I need before tomorrow," he says softly to her, his forehead pressed to hers. "Can I see you tomorrow evening? Tell you how it goes?"
She nods, eyes closed and licking her lips. If she keeps that up, looking so desperate to continue what they started, he might lose his resolve. Draco steps away but keeps her hand in his and brushes her knuckles to his lips. "Tomorrow. Thank you for making time for me this evening, my love."
She nods again, and he thinks she is going to just let him walk away when she uses their clasped hands to pull him back in for a kiss that is, if he's perfectly honest, absolutely indecent. "Tomorrow," she agrees, nipping at his mouth. "Come by after six. I'll have dinner."
Draco grins and readily agrees. "I love you," he says as they pull away, still awed by his fortune. Who ever thought someone like Draco Malfoy would have the love of this witch? He doesn't deserve it, for past transgression as well as his current duplicity, and he never wants her to doubt his feelings when all of this crashes around him. He pushes that thought away as best he can.
"I love you, too," she returns with a grin. "See you soon."
He watches her back away a few steps before she turns and Apparates, leaving Draco alone on a quiet street, most of the witches and wizards already home for the evening.
Behind him, he hears the bell on a door, and turns to find Maggie smiling at him.
"She's a good one, that Hermione Granger," the woman says, and Draco nods.
"Best witch I've ever known," he agrees and is heartened when the woman smiles.
"Take good care of her. Better than that Weasley boy, at least. I didn't like how many dinners ended in tears or hollering matches between them. You, though, you strike me as someone who appreciates her." Draco nods, ready to agree, when the woman's face turns a bit more stern, and she adds, "Don't muck it up."
Draco stares wide-eyed as the woman locks the restaurant door and saunters down the street.
That's what I'm trying to do, Maggie, he thinks after her, feeling very much like she sees right through him.
Hermione virtually floats into Harry's townhouse, pressing her back against the door to close it and letting out a happy sigh.
"Date with Malfoy?" She glances up to find Harry looking at her in question. It appears he has not been home long himself, still garbed in his robes, dragon-hide boots on his feet.
"I did," she answers, slightly haughty while looking him over. "What about you? A bit late on a work night, Mister Auror."
He shrugs off his robes and tosses out casually, "I was out with Theo."
One eyebrow raises, and she wonders aloud, "Just Theo? I didn't realize you were that close..."
"Seamus was there earlier. Oh, and Luna for just a moment."
It's not really an answer, but Hermione lets it slide. She certainly doesn't want to pry. Harry has been pretty kind in regards to her love affair, after all. So what if she is catching a bit of an inkling where Theo is involved? He will tell her if there's anything to tell.
"So what has you over the moon? The ferret extraordinaire do something almost human?"
Alright, so maybe he's not been 'kind', but Hermione can take a little heat. "He's decided to stay in England," she divulges, thrilled and unwilling to let Harry bring her down with his quips.
He looks at her, a bit surprised. "Is he? Theo seemed pretty certain he was leaving at some point."
She shrugs and waves her hand flippantly. "He was. But his family asked him to stay, and he's been considering it."
"And I'm sure you had nothing to do with it," he says with a heaping of sarcasm.
Hermione smiles a secret smile and mimes locking her lips with a key.
"Well, that's good then. I mean, I could live without him, but I'm happy for you. Does this mean... Are you two serious then?"
Biting her lip, Hermione considers how much she wants to say. Finally, not liking secrets with her best friend, she admits, "He told me he loves me."
A breath with a bit of a whistle slides through his teeth. "Quite the turn of events, yeah? Who would have thought?"
"Not me," she returns with a laugh and a lot of honesty. "Never in my life. I couldn't be happier, but, believe me, no one is more surprised than I am."
"Just, maybe take it a bit slow, alright? Make sure he's who you think?"
A flash in her mind, Draco begging for forgiveness but unwilling to confess, gives her pause, but Hermione has decided to trust him with her heart. So she shakes her head at her friend and assures him, "He is. He's better than I could have imagined. Harry, I told him I feel the same. That I love him."
He eyes her for longer than is comfortable, then nods once, decisive. "I'm happy for you, then. And if he turns out to be anything but perfect, I'll break his arms."
It's delivered so deadpan she laughs, and Harry cracks a smile. "Good night, Harry," she finally says and makes for the stares.
In her room, Benedick is laying in his usual place, his head rising to stare at her when she enters. "Hello, you." She lifts him to hold against her and scratches at his head as she slips off her shoes by the door. "I had such a wonderful night. Draco has decided to stay! I can hardly believe it." She holds him away from her, staring fondly into his dark eyes. "I think I might love him just almost as much as I love you, darling."
With a final pat, she lays him back down and heads for the en suite to ready for bed, noticing idly that her window is closed and hoping Benedick didn't spend his entire evening trapped in her room.
We are 2/3 complete and Light has made it editing to the end! I have the stamp of approval of 3 amazing writers and all of you in my corner. Catch you back here in a couple of days with more :)