Memento Mori

Summary: Of the many people capable of carrying the fate of the universe on their shoulders by travelling back in time, Loki would have been the first choice of exactly nobody. With no allies, no plan and nobody on his side, Loki will just have to wing it.

Or: That awkward moment when you've completed your redemption arc, but nobody else got the memo.

Chapter 22

As Captain of the Guard (a rank she held only because unlike some people she knew how to go about committing treason without being caught), Eirin did not appreciate being made part of somebody's schemes without the courtesy of knowing what it was they were doing. Or why it needed to be done behind the King's back.

If she was going to play traitor to the crown, she at least wanted to know whether the risk was worth it.

It wasn't the Allfather who'd commanded Asgard's evacuation. All the higher ranking soldiers knew, all those who'd served the King for longer than a handful of centuries. Ragnarok itself would not be enough to make the stubborn old fool – pardon, the King – admit the necessity of leaving their home. Yggdrasil could shudder and the world serpent writhe out of its bounds, and still he would command them to stand their ground.

If somebody went through the trouble of displacing the entirety of Asgard – not the King's guard to initiate an assassination attempt, nor the palace guard for an unseen trip to the treasure vault – at the risk of their own neck, Captain Eirin was tempted to pay attention.

"Do the people realize that Gungnir has not touched Asgardian soil for several weeks?" Second Lieutenant Terje watched another group of Asgardians disappear and made no move to stop them. It would take bad eye-sight and a particularly lenient day for any superior officer to mistake his lazy slouch for a stance of vigilance.

Captain-technically-a-superior-officer Eirin kept dutifully watching the gateways. Their magic looked dreary and artificial – so unlike the Bifrost's myriad of color.

"How would they?" Eirin said. "The Allfather has elected to keep its theft under wraps."

Second Lieutenant Terje hummed. Not-the-Allfather forgot to keep his kingly distance and guided an elderly man through the gateway instead of commanding one of his soldiers to do it. He did not notice the man's startled expression.

"Should we not put a stop to this?" Second Lieutenant Terje sounded mildly interested in his own question.

"Someone was sneaking away from 'the Allfather' just before he issued his command," Eirin said. "Dropped off his weapon before he made his way to the palace." She paused. "Looked an awful lot like the prince's warhammer."

Both definitely-not-the-princes wanted them off realm. Both of them felt so strongly about it that they risked drawing in the Allfather's wrath by going behind his back.

Captain Eirin and Second Lieutenant Terje contributed to the most recent act of treason in one of the many ways that would not get them painted as accomplices. They did nothing and watched the evacuation proceed.

The Allfather – the actual one – joined with the Queen after half of their citizens had left the realm. Two Allfathers stood opposite of each other, neither of them sure about how to proceed.

Captain Eirin mustered her very best surprised expression and readied her weapon for a quick, loyal act of retribution.

Loki followed after Odin fighting the urge to turn back with every step. He'd last seen his father attempting to hunt him down and throw him right back where he'd come from: Asgard's dungeons, deep enough so he would not have to concern himself with his disgrace of a son for as long as he did not wish to.

Odin had found Loki impersonating him and unrightly leading Asgardians away from their home – and for some reason, he hadn't instantly commanded his soldiers to apprehend him. He hadn't ordered them to undo Loki's progress at all.

Loki had always known that his father was little more than a stranger to him, but it had rarely been more apparent than now, following in his wake unknowing whether he was walking towards his own execution or not.

Odin turned towards him once they'd reached the palace, far away from everyone other than Heimdall's watchful gaze. "You are going to explain to me what you have been doing all these weeks," Odin said, his voice as tight as his expression. "The truth, Loki. For once, I ask you to tell the truth."

Loki's defenses slammed shut in the form of narrowed eyes and the urge to do the exact opposite of what his father asked. Odin had believed the worst of him for most of Loki's life. Why would he deserve to be proven wrong?

Odin closed his eyes. Exhaustion radiated off of him in waves, exhaustion and something deeper, even more weary. If Loki didn't know better he'd have called it regret. "The truth," Odin repeated, the word softer than anything Loki had ever heard him say, "and I promise you that I will be truthful with you in return."

Loki wondered how many more times his father would catch him off guard before he managed to find his place in this new, surreal playground Odin was setting up.

"I've told you that Asgard is in danger," Loki said, treating each word as though it could blow up on his tongue. "I meant what I said. And if you refuse to see reason, you will sign your own people's death warrants."

He told Odin about Thanos. He spoke of his goal of decimating the universe. He spoke of the stones, and his henchmen, and Thor's and his efforts to prevent the end of the world.

Odin looked into the distance once Loki had finished. Throughout all of it, he'd listened. He hadn't interrupted, nor denied vehemently with the words of a man desperate to hold onto his peace of mind.

Eventually, he said, "This titan... Thanos, you called him?"

Loki gave a curt nod.

"I have heard of his mad quest. He has shed blood in many worlds."

Loki fought not to let the surprise show on his face. He supposed that as long as Thanos' crusade did not spread to threaten the Nine Realms, Odin had had no reason to fight back against him.

If he'd tried, Asgard would have likely met its end even sooner than it had in the other reality.

Odin's mouth pinched, and Loki tried not to let himself grow tenser. It was difficult to expect anything other than a fight.

"To think that I had almost become like him," Odin said.

Loki's eyes went wide with the admission. "You did not unite the Nine Realms through peace and friendship," he said, remembering what they'd learned from Hela and feeling rather like stepping onto a minefield. "You conquered them."

"I did more than just that." Odin's gaze grew strained. "You're not the only ones aware of the infinity gems. You're certainly not the first who attempted to gather them."

Loki's eyes, if possible, went wider. "The stones... you–?"

"The most powerful weapons of mass destruction the universe has to offer." Odin sounded both wistful and pained. "How could a king in the middle of his conquest resist?"

"The Gauntlet in the vault," Loki said, connecting the dots rapidly, "I thought it was a copy of the original." He'd never considered that it was far too old to have been modeled after the Gauntlet made for Thanos. "It was the other way around. You're the one who commissioned it from the dwarves."

"It was a prototype." Odin's lips twisted into a bitter smile. "It was a temptation. A vision of what could be. Afterwards it served as a warning for what almost was."

What must Odin have thought when his sons had begun pursuing the goal he regretted deeply?

"You thought we'd taken after you," Loki said, feeling that for once, he understood his father perfectly.

Loki had at one point attempted to topple Midgard with the help of two of the stones. No wonder Odin had feared his sons falling into the same pitfall, following their father's shameful steps.

"What made you stop?" Loki asked. Of all the things other Thor had explained, Odin's change of heart had not been one of them.

Odin paused. "You told me that you knew of Hela."

"I do."

"What do you know about her?"

Loki considered the question. "I know of her thirst for power. There are only few things capable of stopping her path of conquest."

"Do you also know that I've loved her dearly?" Odin's eyes closed in a gesture that looked both weary and grievous. "I still do."

"She's your daughter." Loki said curtly. Perhaps for the first time since the fateful day of learning his own heritage, Loki genuinely believed that the word family meant something to Odin.

"Have you succeeded in your quest to collect the gems?"

Loki startled at the change of direction. "We have."

Odin's lips twisted unpleasantly. "Then you know the price of gaining the most valuable of them."

Loki's frame went rigid. The soul stone was a leaden weight at his side.

"I will not ask you how you obtained it," Odin said, waving off Loki's reaction. "This is not about you."

"Hela," Loki realized belatedly, his voice hoarse. "You would have needed to sacrifice her. But you couldn't do it."

"I was close," Odin admitted. Loki wondered how many times he'd had to tell this story. If ever. "I was close to murdering my own flesh and blood."

Loki could see it in front of his inner eye. A younger, more ruthless Odin blinded by his own thirst for power. Hela at his side, taking after her father in all the wrong ways. How easy her sacrifice would have been to justify. How easy it would have been for the Odin of old to have emerged victorious, hands drenched in blood and wielding a power unlike anything other the galaxy had to offer.

"When I realized what I'd almost done," Odin continued, "I was... ashamed. I was horrified. It made me evaluate the kind of legacy I wanted to leave behind."

Loki hesitated to open his mouth, unwilling to shatter the moment and put a stop to Odin's whimful honesty. "And Hela?"

Odin jerked his head. "Hela did not understand. I couldn't bring myself to tell her about the soul gem."

"So you banished her."

"I had no choice. She did not accept my change of heart. She would have run Asgard into the ground in the attempt to seize more power."

Loki had met Hela. He'd fought her. He didn't need to be convinced that there would have been no middle path for her. No answer other than conflict once it became apparent that Odin's goals no longer mirrored her own.

Loki wondered if Odin had at least tried. How much of an effort had he made before banishing his only daughter to the realm of the dead?

"What are you going to do now?" Loki asked. He thought of Thanos' nearing fleet. The conversation could carry them straight through the end of the world if they allowed it to. "Whatever you had planned with the stones, it's not what Thor and I have collected them for."

"I know." Odin's mouth curved. "I believe it has become apparent that your intentions are far nobler than mine have ever been."

Loki suppressed a huff. There was that word again. 'Noble'. Of all the words to describe his quest, this would not have been one he'd chosen.

Odin looked into the distance and his expression grew tight. "We will see the evacuation through," he decided, speaking slowly as though he was talking to himself as much as to Loki. "Afterwards, we will fight."

Loki indulged himself by imagining a battle with Asgard's full might at their side. He imagined seeing his fighting style mirrored in his mother's, wondered what it would feel like to have Odin's back – and have his father there to support him in return.

In the end, it was just that. An indulgence, not meant to exist beyond the confines of Loki's imagination.

"Asgard needs you," Loki said, wondering why the words were so reluctant to leave his lips. "Thor and I will fight. Our people need their King and Queen, in case our efforts are not enough."

In case Asgard was doomed to be destroyed a second time. In case they lost, and Thanos continued to wreak disaster over the universe.

Thor had clearly gotten his stubbornness from Odin. Loki cut his father off before he could utter more than a few words.

"I will not hide while my children–"

"You must and you will." Loki pressed his lips together. "Are you truly planning to leave your people stranded in another world without a king to guide them?"

That gave Odin a pause. "Where are you bringing them?"

"Midgard," Loki said, lips twitching at a joke only he understood. He wondered what the Avengers would say upon realizing they had chosen their realm to evacuate their people.

"Midgard is not dangerous," Odin said, still doubtful. "Even our civilians will be able to handle themselves."

"And if we are not enough to stop Thanos? Will you simply leave Asgard to fend for itself?"

Odin went silent. It was as much of a clue that his opinion was swaying as Loki was going to get.

"Take Frigga and follow the people," Loki said. "We will contact you once all is over."

"And let other people fight for me?"

"Let us fight for you," Loki corrected. "Thor and I. Lay your trust in us, and make sure we will have a people to return to once we have finished."

Odin's eyes dropped to the ground, his resolve wavering.

"Trust me," Loki said quietly. "This once, after all this time. Lay your trust in me just this once."

Odin raised his eyes to meet Loki's. Loki took care not to look away – no matter the weight of Odin's gaze.

His father hesitated so long to make Loki doubt his success.

"Very well," Odin said, his voice grave as though it was the hardest decision he'd made in his lifetime. "Asgard is in your hands."

The Allfather did not command the Guard to undo the princes' efforts. How lovely.

He did command them to fight a mad titan, lest they watch their realm burn. Captain Eirin ought to have let one of the gateways swallow her whole while she had the chance.

Loki and Thor left the portals open so that Frigga and Odin could evacuate the remaining Asgardians. The Guardians stayed to both help and be ready once Thanos' fleet arrived, and so did Valkyrie – sporting the reluctance of someone who had not planned to ever set foot on their home world again.

"Don't take too long," she said, wearing a scowl meant to discourage anyone from talking to her. "Those Midgardians better be something if they're supposed to be any help against Thanos."

"They are." Thor did not think back fondly on the circumstances of their last meeting, but it did nothing to waver the confidence he had in his team. Once it came down to it, they'd be at his side. "We will not take long."

"Make sure you don't." Valkyrie gripped Stormbreaker tight, straightened up and began scouting the skies. Loki had long given up trying to reclaim the weapon from her.

Thor's parents stole glances at her turned back, and it occurred to Thor that Valkyrie had once served Odin. He and Frigga did not attempt to talk to her, and Thor was left to wonder whether either of them remembered her.

Neither Thor nor Loki felt inclined to bear the consequences of showing up on the Avengers' door steps uninvited, so Loki brought them to the Sanctum instead.

Thor was only half-surprised when they didn't need to dodge a magic spell upon arrival.

"You took your time." Strange waved open a portal without looking. "Welcome back."

Jane stepped out of the newly created portal, her back toward them. "What's up? Did you need anything?"

"Jane!" Thor's face split into a grin. He lunged forward to bury her in a hug – one she accepted with a yelp and wide, startled eyes.

"Thor!" She met his grin with a smile. "You're back!"

"Of course. Did you think I would stay away?"

"Well, no." Jane's eyes flickered to Loki. "It's just... well."

Thor took in his brother's tense shoulders and narrowed eyes. They were fixed on Strange in a distrustful, wary glare.

"What?" Strange asked blunty, raising one eyebrow.

"I expected a more... distrustful welcome. Not for you to be so careless."

Strange's eyebrow climbed higher. "I am never unarmed." His hands twitched and produced orange sparks in warning. "Besides, we've had time to... think over our last encounter."

If anything, Loki seemed more wary at the admission. "By which you mean?"

"It means we're willing to listen," Jane corrected, somewhat exasperated. "None of us really took the time to do that before, and..." She paused. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry about that."

Strange pressed his lips together and inclined his head. Thor took it to mean 'Sure, why not.'

"Thank you," Thor said when Loki seemed too busy trying to puzzle out some hidden agenda to respond. "Truly." He hesitated. "Although we have not come with pleasant news."

"Thanos has mobilized his fleet," Loki stated bluntly. "They are on their way to Asgard, and will move on to your realm should we fail to stop them."

Perhaps he wouldn't do so immediately. Perhaps he wouldn't do it within the year. But with multiple infinity stones on Midgard, Thanos would come – Thor did not need his brother to assure him of it.

Strange's expression turned solemn while Jane leaped up from her seat. "What?"

"It is the truth," Thor said, confirming Loki's words. "We fought against a few of his subordinates. Thanos is next."

"What are we going to do?" Jane furrowed her brows.

"We need all the help we can get," Loki said curtly. His reluctance was apparent, and Thor couldn't blame him.

It spoke of their chances in the nearing battle that Loki did not consider forgoing a group of allies despite the bad blood between them.

Loki looked like he was holding back a growl as he said, "We may need the Avengers' help."

Tony had yet to find a way to prevent sorcerers – Earth born or not – from effortlessly portaling into his living space. Every time he spotted an orange sparking portal he felt the need to hole himself up in his workshop and not emerge until he'd developed some sort of high tech, magic-blocking security system – if nothing else, then to show Strange that magic powers didn't give him the right to treat his tower like he owned it.

"What now? Any news of..." Tony trailed off upon taking in Strange's tentative expression. It was his first clue that something was wrong.

His second clue was that Jane stepped out of the portal next, closely followed by Thor.

His third, and last, was that the portal kept spinning and Strange showed no intention of closing it.

Tony closed his eyes and resisted the urge to heave a sigh. "J," he said curtly, making large strides towards his mini bar and deciding that now was the perfect time for some alcohol. "Team meeting." He paused, then added, "Give everybody a warning, will you?"

"Of course, Sir."

Tony threw a glance towards Thor. His expression was guarded and his eyes wary in a way they shouldn't have been while aimed at one of his friends.

"Go on then," he said with a curt hand gesture. "Send him through." They'd have to deal with it eventually. There was no use prolonging the inevitable.

The team filed in within the next several minutes – most of them wary, some of them pointedly unenthusiastic. Loki stood by the side watching, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

Clint was the last to join. "Let's get this over with." He scowled, taking his eyes off Loki only to throw Tony a look. "Do your thing."

The brothers' confusion showed in Thor's frown and Loki's guarded expression. Some of it leaked through and settled on Tony's skin in a low, steady tingle.

"Alright," Tony said, shaking off the feeling and stretching his metaphorical muscles. "Shoot. Why are you here?"

"We bring grave news," Thor started.

"Nuh uh," Tony interrupted. "Sorry, buddy. But I need Loki to say it."

Thor's frown deepened and sent bubbling waves of puzzlement Tony's way. Loki sent his brother a glare that said, 'Oh great. Now your friends have lost it.'

"Go on," said Clint, whose impatience felt as cutting as Loki's wariness felt stifling. "Answer him."

"Thanos is on his way," Loki said, his frame rigid. "His fleet is mobilized. Everybody will be in danger if we do not manage to stop him."

"He's coming to Earth?" Steve's eyes widened in alarm.

Loki's brows dropped further. He pressed his lips together. "No."

"He's coming to Asgard," Thor finished when his brother would not.

Tony felt his teammates sneaking glances at him, but he didn't take his gaze off Loki. He felt discomfort (discomfort at Tony's stare, at their surroundings, at Thor's hovering presence) and reluctance radiating off of Loki in a steady, uncomfortably stream.

He felt no lie – but that didn't have to mean anything. He'd never tried using his powers on a born liar such as Loki.

"We are wasting our time," Loki said when the silence stretched on, rolling his eyes and deepening his scowl. He turned to Thor and took a pointed step away from them. "We should not have come in the first place. We do not need them."

The mind stone's power flared up.

"That was a lie," Tony blurted out, his voice pitched incredulously at his own words.

Loki did a double-take. "What?"

"You lied. What you just said. It was a lie."

"So everything up to this point wasn't?" Rhodey muttered. "I'll be damned."

Clint looked like he'd swallowed something bitter.

Both Loki and Thor were likely convinced that Tony had lost his mind.

"Okay," Tony said, his voice light and feeling mildly as though someone else was speaking.

Thor's eyes settled on his tentatively. "Okay?"

"We'll listen." Tony threw a glance towards the rest of the team and found no protest, their trust in him stronger than their doubt. "Tell us what's going on. We'll help."

A/N: We're getting close, you guys!

Big thanks to To Mockingbird, PyrothTenka and Igornerd!