A/N: I'm starting to think that Fanfic is circling the drain as far as upkeep of the website goes. I'm not sure anyone is at the helm anymore. I feel like we're due for an inevitable crash. I'm not sure if people are getting updates or if the story page is refreshing correctly. I only know what you all tell me. *waves* Hope you can see this!

That being said, I hope I'm able to get the remainder of this story up before this site implodes into a dumpster fire and dies, which would be fitting for 2020. If that does indeed happen, my works are also available on Archive of their Own. I haven't been as good about updating there, but I will be sure to get on that ASAP.

General note: I updated twice last weekend. A few people told me they didn't get the update alert and when they refreshed the story wasn't showing as being recently updated. So if you haven't read those two chapters, you've now got three chapters to read. Enjoy!

Rated M-ish.

Chapter 23:

She's Got A Way About Her

Alison stayed with Emily all day. She had been more-or-less catatonic since she'd gotten the news about Maya. Alison had never seen her fall apart before. It was hard to watch.

Emily turned into a shell of herself. It scared Alison, but she didn't have the liberty of telling her that. She didn't want to make it worse. If she had learned anything from Emily, it was how to care for someone.

Emily went from completely distraught to utterly numb and vacant. There had been several times that Alison thought they were over the worst of it, but just as soon as Emily had calmed down another crying jag would come out of nowhere. Sometimes she sobbed. Sometimes she apologized because she couldn't stop it.

Emily was exhausted by that night. Even after the sun had set Alison refused to leave. To her surprise, Emily's parents didn't object to her staying over.

The brunette hadn't said a word in over an hour. She'd been laying in her bed, staring at the wall. Alison had laid with her, but Emily seemed to be looking past her. Alison knew Emily felt her presence, because any time she got up to go to the restroom or to do anything else, Emily would reach for her hand and grip it tightly. It was a subtle, "don't leave me."

Emily's parents checked in on them several times to make sure they didn't need anything. Her mother hovered. Her dad paced. They were worried about her stress levels. They didn't want her to go into premature labor.

Around nine Pam popped her head in the room. She'd offered the girls some hot tea. Emily didn't say anything, but Alison told her she thought it would help. Ultimately, she knew it would help Emily and her mother. The tea would soothe Emily. And making the tea would keep her mother busy.

The silence was becoming intolerable. All Alison could hear was the constant humming of the ceiling fan. It was starting to get on her nerves. It only exacerbated the quiet shallow breaths that Emily was taking. It pissed Alison off that Emily was in pain. It pissed her off that she couldn't do anything about it.

She heard Emily draw in a jagged breath, and she prepared for another fit of tears. Instead Emily just heaved out a sigh. Her lips started to tremble. She reached between their bodies and grasped Alison's hand, pulling it close to her body.

Alison felt a wave of emotions. Emily's pain was her pain. Alison lifted her other hand and gently touched Emily's cheek. She tried to get Emily to focus on her, but Emily's mind was swimming in grief. Alison had never felt so helpless.

"Em, baby…I don't know how to make this better. Please…tell me what to do." Alison begged.

Her soft brown eyes met Alison's gaze, but she didn't say anything.

"Emily…talk to me. Please. Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

Emily inched closer to her. Alison could practically taste her tears. Emily silently reached up and caressed Alison's jaw. She moved forward and their lips met. After a few seconds Emily pulled back. Alison reached up to wipe away her tears.

"Stay," Emily said softly, her voice scratchy and hoarse from crying.

"What?"

"Just stay with me. I need you. So please…just stay." She put her hand on Alison's hip.

"Wild horses couldn't pull me away from you." Alison kissed her again. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Emily nodded weakly. She looked so weary. Her eyes were swollen and puffy.

"This may be a stupid question, but how are you?" Alison brushed her fingers against Emily's cheek and threaded them through her hair.

"Like someone ripped my heart out of my chest and shredded it and then put it back inside of me in pieces." Emily closed her eyes, grimacing in an invisible insurmountable amount of pain.

She opened her eyes, tears leaking from them. But she was too exhausted to cry.

"It's weird…talking to you about it, because she's my ex. But she was a huge part of my life. And I think about her lying there…helpless, and I'm right back in that frat house. I'm taken right back to the night we were drugged. And I couldn't help her this time." Emily sniffled. "I'm sorry. This is probably making you uncomfortable."

Alison understood Emily's feelings far more than the brunette realized. Because she'd feel the same way if something happened to Emily.

"Not at all." Alison shook her head. "Emily, I have been…" She furrowed her brows in thought, "…selfish. With you. With your love."

Her response surprised Emily.

"What are you talking about?"

"All this time we've been together I've been a bitch about anyone looking at you or spending time with you. I got so lost in this idea that it's you and me...that it's us. I forgot that you're your own person. I don't…I don't own you. That's a hard concept for me. Because I feel super protective of you…of both of you." She touched her belly. It elicited a sweet soulful expression from Emily. "And it scares me to think about losing that."

She hadn't meant to blurt it out. It was the worst possible time to be talking about herself and her feelings, but she couldn't stop thinking about why she'd gone to the bar after she'd snapped at Emily for being with Sabrina. She couldn't stop thinking about her conversation with Hanna about how she was pushing too hard and trying to shape them into something they weren't.

"God, it makes me such an asshole for talking about this…with what you're going through with Maya…"

"Ali…" For the first time since Alison had gotten there, Emily smiled. "You're not going to lose me."

"I know that. Rationally, I know that. But I just…I act impulsively sometimes and I don't know how to stop it."

"That impulsive nature is why you're here right now. It's why you dropped everything to come when I called."

"You do the same for me." Alison replied softly. She rubbed Emily's arm. There was a beat of silence. "I'm so sorry about Maya."

She saw the pain register on her face and she regretted bringing it up. Because maybe, for a fraction of a second, Emily hadn't been thinking about her ex-girlfriend fighting for her life in an ICU bed.

"I feel so guilty." Emily admitted.

"Why? This isn't your fault."

"Isn't it? Whoever is doing this is using the people I care about the most." She sighed. "But that's not even the worst part. The worst part is that even though Maya is in a hospital bed…even though she might die…the first thing that crossed my mind wasn't her." Emily peered into Alison's eyes. "It was you. It could have been you. It almost was you." Her voice was low and quiet. "I keep replaying it in my head. And I see that picture of you…completely helpless. And I keep thinking about the fact that if something had happened to you…"

"But it didn't." Alison reassured her. "Besides, I don't think the situations compare. I…I was drugged. Maya…she used, didn't she?"

Emily's face went rigid. She swallowed hard and shook her head. Through all of the chaos and grief she hadn't had a chance to tell Alison the truth yet.

"No. That's the thing. It wasn't an accident. It wasn't an overdose. Someone drugged her. They sent me a picture of it." She reached for her phone. The image had deleted itself automatically, but it was seared into Emily's brain. "It disappeared after I saw it, but it was definitely Maya."

"Are you serious?" Alison's entire body tensed up. "Someone did this to her?"

"Maya was a lot of things, but she wasn't an addict." Emily suddenly realized she was talking about her in the past tense. "Is. She is a lot of things…" Her stomach started churning.

Alison noticed the change in her expression.

"You okay?"

"I feel sick to my stomach." Her throat bobbed. "It's all the crying. I've cried so much that my entire body feels achy."

"I'm going to go see if that tea is ready yet." Alison slowly sat up.

Emily rolled off of her side and propped herself up against her pillow to see if the change in position would help.

"Just relax." Alison put her palm against the side of Emily's neck.

She pushed up off of the bed and shuffled out of the room. She didn't want to leave Emily alone for long. She felt awkward traipsing through her house without her, but she was on autopilot. Emily had spent months coddling her and taking care of her. The least she could do was do the same for her.

She paused when she got to the kitchen. She saw Emily's mother standing by the stove. She had a spoon in one hand and a tea kettle in her other hand. She was moving with a nervous energy. She poured some steaming water into a mug sitting on the counter. Alison waited until the older woman put the kettle down and then she cleared her throat.

"Um…Mrs. Fields?"

Pam jumped and spun around, dropping the spoon in surprise. Alison realized she'd made the right call waiting until Pam had put the hot kettle down. Pam raised her hand up to her chest and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh, Alison. Hi."

"I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to see if the tea was ready."

"It will be." She nodded. "In a few minutes." She reached down and picked up the spoon. She rinsed it off and then put it into the mug. "How's Emmy?"

Emmy. She'd never heard Emily called by that name before. It was adorable. It was hard to believe she was a biker babe with purple hair when she had a name like Emmy.

"Um…she's okay, I think. She's one of the strongest people I've ever met."

"She gets that from her father. His resolve is something else. She's got the same iron will that he has." Pam picked up the mug and tapped the spoon against the inner edge. "She's a daddy's girl."

Alison could see a flicker of grief in her eyes, a flash of pain.

"It must have been tough for you two…when he was overseas."

"We managed." She looked towards a photo on the wall of the three of them. It looked recent. Emily's hair was purple in it. Pam looked at Alison. "So, Emily tells me…" She paused and decidedly thought it would be best to reword what she was saying, "…well, she doesn't tell me much of anything, actually. But I've heard things at your house aren't always…ideal."

Alison had to stifle a dark laugh. The DiLaurentis name followed her around like a curse. Her parents had quite the reputation in town.

"I know word gets around about my family. You don't have to walk on eggshells around me."

"I'm sure it wasn't easy not having a support system. You should know that parents aren't always perfect." She tried to give Alison a warm smile, but it came off as a forced grimace. "Lord knows I certainly haven't always made the right calls with Emily…"

"I think she's amazing." Because of and in spite of her parents. "You raised a really wonderful girl."

"Thank you." Pam handed Alison the warm glass. There was a teabag steeping in it. "For being there for her."

She'd wanted to be there for her. When she'd heard about Maya she knew that Emily would be devastated. All she wanted to do was pull her into her lap and comfort her like she'd done when Emily was little. But she'd pushed her away. She knew she'd pushed her away. And now she was helpless.

"I know she's devastated. And I don't blame her. What happened to Maya…I can't imagine. That poor girl. Her poor parents." There was a subtle sadness on Pam's face. It was a look that Alison innately understood. It was a look of fear that only a mother could have over losing a child.

"She could still pull through, right?"

Pam looked away. She'd answered without saying a word. But she still tried to find something positive to say.

"I like to hope so. I can't imagine a God that would tear a child away from her mother."

Alison opened her mouth to point out that the Bible was exactly that scenario, but her inner voice kicked on…telling her it was not the right time, and it was definitely not the right thing to say.

"This baby…" Pam stopped. "It's not what any of us expected." She pinched her brow in thought. "I don't know what Emily has told you about us…about how we've handled this. She has been through so much. A lot of it at my hand, and I fully admit that. But I want you to understand something. I love my daughter. I love her more than anything. I also realize that this is a complicated situation to be in, and you're both young and feeling things…"

Things she didn't understand, but things she knew were there.

"Babies test people. And I understand that you two are close, and that you are growing up. But no matter how old she gets, she is still my child. And regardless of who she loves, regardless of what you two are…" She bit her lip, "Just don't break her heart. Don't break my baby's heart."

"I won't." Alison was too stunned to say anything else.

Pam nodded in satisfaction.

"You let me know if either one of you needs anything." She sauntered off, ending their conversation.

Alison quickly rushed back to Emily's room, careful not to spill the hot beverage. When she walked into the room, Emily was leaning against several pillows, taking deep breaths. Her hand was on her stomach. Alison watched as her hand started to rise and then fall as she slowly breathed in and out.

"You're starting Lamaze classes without me?" Alison closed the door. She left the tiniest crack in it, because she knew Emily's parents would be checking in.

"God, I haven't even thought about birthing classes." Emily opened her eyes and flinched.

"That can be tomorrow's worry." Alison walked over to her, tea in hand. She extended the mug to Emily. "Careful. It's hot."

Emily took the mug. Alison could see her hands shaking. She steadied her, helping her grip the cup. Emily glanced at her and smiled.

"Caleb texted."

"Checking in?"

"Kind of." Emily made a face. "We...sort of went to the bar today to see if there were any clues there to lead us to who drugged you."

"Emily…" Alison scowled in disapproval.

"Don't you Emily me, Street Fighter. Hanna told him all about your double's match with the twins." She lifted her brow in an accusatory manner.

"That snitch. She promised she wouldn't say anything…" She was going to kill Hanna Marin.

"Caleb pulled it out of her. And she didn't snitch. She apparently bragged."

"She did?" Alison beamed.

"Yeah. I don't know exactly what you two did today, but it sounds like you've finally got Hanna in your corner." She saw Alison smile, and it made her forget about her pain. "So, what did you find out?"

"Wilden is basically a drug dealer. And they're his gophers. He's got them running all kinds of errands. Hanna and I are looking into some things that don't add up."

"So are Caleb and I. We found a few things at the bar. He thought it might be a good idea to see if we can try and run DNA profiles to see if by chance we can track people who were there who might have seen something. He's got a friend who is an ex-cop who can get it done. I figured it can't hurt anything, especially if you think you saw Wilden there." She reached for her laptop.

Alison gently grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Right now you need to rest. We'll worry about all of this in the morning. You've had a hell of a day. Let's just take the night off, okay?"

Emily could see the anxiety in Alison's eyes. She nodded and laid back against her pillows. She sipped on the tea. It helped with her nausea.

It wasn't long before her eyes drooped closed. When she finally drifted off to sleep Alison gently ran her fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead, taking a moment to linger so she could inhale the sweet smell of her skin.

Sleep, my sweet angel.

Alison crashed shortly after Emily. They cuddled together undisturbed for nearly two hours. But then Emily woke up with a pulsing bladder. The tea had run right through her.

Alison's arm was draped across Emily's chest. Her leg was curled on top of Emily's leg. Her warm cheek was resting near her right breast. She was breathing softly and evenly. Emily could feel the heat from her breaths against her neck. She smelled intoxicating.

Emily tilted her chin down and pressed a kiss against the top of her head. Her hair was soft and the aroma of her shampoo was wafting off of her. Emily closed her eyes and smiled as she took in the floral scent. It was like a mixture of spring flowers and honey with a hint of lavender. She wanted to stay wrapped up with her forever, but her kid was sitting directly on her bladder.

She managed to slip out of bed without waking the blonde. When she got back she saw that Alison had flipped over to her other side. She was curled up and had her cheek buried in Emily's pillow.

Emily crawled on to the mattress, trying not to disturb her. She heard Alison hum dreamily as she rubbed her face against the pillow. Emily slid behind her, wrapping her arms around Alison's waist. She kissed her cheek and tried to curl her body to fit against Alison's. Her bump was squeezed in between them.

Alison laid her arms on top of Emily's, holding her in place. Emily snuggled her chin in between the hollow between Alison's neck and her shoulder. She kissed the soft skin behind her ear.

"Ali, are you awake?" she whispered.

At first Alison didn't move. Emily assumed she was so exhausted that she was out cold. But then she stirred in her arms. She rolled over to face Emily. Their eyes met in the low light of the room. The soft saturation cast sharp shadows in the darkness as they moved in for a kiss.

Emily gripped Alison's cheek. Their lips moved together, softly at first, but then there became a heated need behind the motion. Emily felt Alison's palm against the bare skin above her hip. Her fingertips ignited a fiery desire in Emily's veins. She pushed harder against Alison, moving her hand down against her thigh.

Despite the door being cracked, and despite the fact that her parents could walk in at any moment, they didn't slow down. The heat of the moment had them touching everywhere, exploring each other's bodies. Their tongues clashed.

Alison could feel something different in Emily's motions. She could feel a need…a yearning for her touch. She knew she was vulnerable because of Maya. It felt weird to be getting so hot and heavy when Emily had hit an emotional rock bottom. But it also somehow made what they were doing more meaningful.

Emily slipped her fingers into Alison's underwear. She stopped briefly to give Alison time to stop her if she was going too far, but Alison only encouraged her. She followed Emily's lead, moving her hand in between her legs. Emily softly bit down on Alison's lip and groaned against her mouth.

They'd felt each other bare before. They'd both touched and been touched. But there was a new passion behind it. They wanted to rip one another's clothes off, but it was too risky. Instead, they gently slid their fingers back and forth in tandem to create the friction their bodies needed.

It was Alison who felt herself falling over the edge first. Emily did everything she could to swallow the noises that the blonde was making, but their lips came apart when Emily felt her body shaking along with Alison's. She felt Alison's free hand sliding up her body, her fingers tracing her lips. Emily kissed her fingertips. She threw her head back when it hit her. Alison had to put her hand over Emily's mouth to keep her from crying out too loudly.

Alison came down from her high fairly quickly, but she could see that Emily needed a little more time. Her body was still having spasms.

Emily had heard that everything was more intense during pregnancy, but she'd never felt such an immense amount of pleasure before. The ecstasy helped soothed her heartache, which is exactly what Alison had been trying to do.

Emily was pulled out of her trance when she felt Alison's lips softly sweeping over hers. She pulled back to smile at Emily. She brushed her messy bedhead aside and leaned in for another kiss.

They moved in to snuggle. Alison was content in her arms. They stayed in their embrace for nearly half an hour in silence, just being together. Alison rubbed her cheek against Emily's neck and then looked up at her.

The way Emily was looking back at her sent her into a sense of euphoric bliss. Her body, her heart, and her soul responded to Emily in ways that it had never responded to anyone else. It's like she was suddenly aware of everything at once.

She thought about everything she loved about the brunette. The way her nose crinkled when she smiled. The creases she got in her forehead when she was deep in thought. The calm nature of her eyes. The way her lips tasted like cocoa. The scent of her sweat mixed with the oils she used to keep from getting stretch marks. The way her body moved like the waves in the ocean. The warmth of her hands. The fiery expressions she had when they were exploring things together. Her bravery and her spirit of adventure. Her unyielding desire to hold on to the adventures and let go of the little things. The way she held doors for her and helped her on to her bike. The way she led. The way she did...everything. She loved everything about her.

Alison looked at her. And she saw her beautiful eyes. And her beautiful lips. And her beautiful face. But most importantly, she saw her beautiful soul.

"I love you." It slipped out. She had been waiting to say it on a special occasion, but she couldn't stop her feelings.

She immediately started to doubt the timing. Emily had just found out her ex-girlfriend might die. She pulled back to see Emily staring back at her with a strange look on her face. For a split second Alison thought she'd said it too soon.

But then Emily said something that was better than "I love you, too."

"She kicked." Emily smiled, moving her hand to her belly. It was the first definitive movement she'd felt. She'd had fluttering sensations and indigestion, but nothing as concrete as an actual kick…not that she was sure of.

"Really?" Alison's eyes brightened in excitement. She put her hand against Emily's stomach, waiting…hoping.

A minute went by. Then two. Just as Alison was starting to lose hope, she felt a firm pulse against her palm. She sucked in a gust of air and laughed. She was enamored by the movement.

She slowly slid down Emily's body, placing both of her hands on Emily's stomach. She felt a flutter of motion. It was the most incredible thing she'd ever experienced. It made everything real.

Pregnancy came with a heavy amount of burden, but it also came with something amazing. Powerful forces were at play. Emily was leaving her mark on the world. She was passing on her strength and her legacy. Alison knew that her baby would never want for anything, because Emily was so full of love. All that the child was, all that she would be…it would be because of Emily. Her little girl didn't know how lucky she was. She had the most fearless…most caring mom in the world.

She'd felt something shift inside of her when the baby moved. And it left her wondering if her mother had ever felt the same thing. She didn't understand how someone could have a child and not love it. She would never make that mistake with her own children.

Alison wasn't exactly sure who she would be to the baby, but she knew one thing for certain…she already loved her as much as she loved Emily. The day she'd seen Emily's first ultrasound had sparked something in her heart. But feeling the baby's movements was on an entirely different level. She didn't even know her yet, but she knew she would never let anyone hurt her. She would destroy anyone who tried to harm her.

Alison marveled at Emily's stomach, concentrating, watching to see if she could see the moment the baby decided to kick again.

She pressed a chaste kiss against Emily's belly. She stroked Emily's skin, which was slick with coconut oil and sweat. She loved the way she felt. She loved the way she smelled.

She had gotten so wrapped up in the moment that she'd nearly forgotten about the three little words she'd said to Emily.

Emily hadn't.

"Ali..." Emily reached down and put her fingers underneath Alison's chin, guiding her to look up.

The second Alison's crystal blue eyes locked on hers, Emily smiled at her,

"I love you, too."

"I knew you did." Alison moved up, pressing a kiss against her lips. She laid her hand against Emily's belly again, hoping for another kick. "Think she conked out?"

"At least one of us is getting some sleep." Emily shrugged. She felt her move again. It felt more like rumbling in her stomach this time. "Nope. Still kicking." She adjusted to try and get comfortable. It didn't hurt, but it was a strange sensation.

"Maybe we should try reasoning with her." Alison suggested. They both laughed. Alison moved back down until she was staring at Emily's stomach again. "Your mom has had a rough day, little one. Maybe you could reschedule the workout for later?"

Emily chuckled. Alison rubbed her stomach to see if she could settle the baby. She glanced at Emily.

"Is it weird that I want her to recognize my voice? I…I want her to know me…"

"She knows you, Ali." Emily was sure of it. She could feel it.

"I could sing her a lullaby." Alison offered.

"Be my guest."

Alison hummed a quiet tune while Emily reached down and ran her fingers through her hair. Alison wasn't sure if it was helping, but she didn't intend to stop. When she finished singing she sighed happily, resting her cheek against Emily's belly.

She swore she could hear the thrumming of the baby's heart. If she closed her eyes she could hear a tiny little angel swimming in a sea of light. She imagined that's what it had to feel like to be that close to Emily…to be that connected to her.

Alison ended up falling asleep with her face pressed against Emily's stomach. Emily didn't have the heart to move her. She didn't want to move her. She'd never seen Alison so open…so loving. She'd seen sides of the blonde before that were soft. But this was different. This was love.

Emily was up and down several times the rest of the night, but she managed not to wake Alison again. Her insomnia was terrible, but her sleeplessness was bearable because she had a gorgeous blonde in her bed.

Alison reached for her a lot in her sleep. She didn't seem to mind the fact that her girlfriend was hotter than a furnace.

Emily checked her phone periodically, waiting for another threat…another taunt.

It never came.

So she settled into bed with her girlfriend, and she held her the rest of the night.

o ~ O ~ o

The next morning Emily's mom made them breakfast. She was a lot more cordial than Emily was expecting. It threw her for a loop. All it took for her mother to come around to her sexuality was her ex-girlfriend dying.

They hadn't officially heard anything yet. Pam had reached out to Pastor Ted and had gotten Maya's mother's contact information. She was waiting to hear back.

"How are you holding up, baby?" Her dad kissed her head.

"I'm okay."

Alison glared at her. Emily was far from okay. Emily was not intimidated by her threatening scowl.

"Alison, what would you like to drink?" Pam asked.

Her stance was rigid. Alison could tell she was uncomfortable, but she buried it for the sake of her daughter. Alison tried not to let it get to her. She tried to remember that Pam and Wayne were old-school and religious and they were still coming to terms with seeing their daughter with a girl. At least they were being polite to her. Her parents didn't even know she was gone. She'd gotten a text from her mother that morning asking her if she was going to come down and join them for breakfast. She hadn't even bothered to check Alison's room. Sometimes Alison felt invisible in her own house.

"I'll have whatever coffee you have in the pot."

"You're in luck. It's a French brew that I discovered on a tour a few years ago." Wayne had a little pep in his step. "I have some buddies stationed there that send me tons of it. You'll never want regular brew again after you try it."

Emily yawned and sipped on some ginger root tea that her mother had made her. It was supposed to help with nausea. Pam put a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of her. Emily felt her stomach lurch. Her morning sickness was out in full force.

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat." Alison and her mother both proclaimed at the same time.

Emily looked between her mother and her girlfriend. She did not like the fact that they'd had the exact same thought at the exact same time. It was Freudian and weird.

"Now I'm even less hungry." But she reached for her fork. She wasn't doing it for herself. She was doing it for her daughter.

She choked down a bite of toast.

She heard her phone go off, and she felt nauseated by the noise. She was afraid it was her stalker. Or worse…bad news about Maya. Alison and Pam both watched as Emily slowly picked up her phone. Wayne was more subtle about it. He was good at pretending that he wasn't watching when he really was. They noticed a look of relief wash across her face.

It was just Isaac checking on her.

"It's not about Maya," she said, her eyes still on her phone. "Just a friend checking in."

"Make it quick. You know our rules about phones at the table…" Pam chastised.

"I think we can make an exception this morning." Wayne butted in.

Pam glared at him. She didn't appreciate her parenting being called into question.

Emily read Isaac's message.

I heard about Maya. How r u?

Pastor Ted got the news to your mom, too?

He told some of the congregation last night. Didn't want them to be shocked when they said a prayer for her family today.

It shouldn't have annoyed Emily, but it did. Because Maya was agnostic. It was a stupid thing to get irritated about. The church was trying to be nice. The same church who would condemn her and Maya for being in a relationship. It felt hypocritical. But she wasn't going to take it out on Isaac. She tried to keep her response flowery and short.

That's nice of them to do.

It's bullshit. God doesn't do anything to save dying people. Doctors do.

His response reminded Emily why they were friends. She shot back immediately with three cry-laughing emojis.

Right? Doctors are out there saving people and curing things and people are just like, 'Thank God…" No…THANK YOUR DOCTOR!

Tried that argument on my mom once. Her response was, 'Well we should thank God for creating medicine'. Should we also thank him for creating disease and death?

Lol. When did you become such a cynic?

She had never known Isaac to be moody. If she didn't know any better she would assume he was having sympathy mood swings.

A lot has changed since you left. He emphasized with a sad-faced emoji.

Emily bit her lip. She'd probably altered his life in a lot of ways. And not good ways.

I'm sorry.

Oh. No…I didn't mean it like that. And anyway, I didn't text u to get into all that. I'm worried about u. U didn't answer my question, Em. How r u? I know Maya was ur best friend.

I'm…idk. Waiting to hear what's going on with her. It's the WORST.

If u need anything, let me know.

Appreciate it. Not sure what you can do

Wish we weren't so far away. Maybe it won't be this way forever. Courtney loved NYC. She's trying to convince mom and dad to let her move. I swear she has this argument with them every weekend.

Seriously?

Yup. And get this…they're actually CONSIDERING it. I don't know what she's done all of a sudden to convince them that she's special, but they're doting on her like crazy. Thinking I might take advantage of it. If she does move I could go visit, which means we could hang sometime.

Alarm bells went off in Emily's mind. He would be way too close. She knew she had to put a stop to the conversation. She quickly tried to shift it.

I know all about odd family drama. Right now I'm having breakfast with my parents and my lover.

She needed him to remember that she was off the market.

Ooof. I'll say a prayer for you.

He followed up with prayer hands and a laughing emoji. She almost typed back "You little shit…" but instead, she just let the conversation naturally fade.

Emily put her phone down and looked at her mom and Alison, who were both trying to look occupied by the things on their plates. She could tell they'd been watching her. Her dad was at the sink washing a dish, but he had his eyes trained on her, too. She managed an earnest half-smile as she picked up her fork and started eating.

The call came just as Emily and Alison were finishing their scrambled eggs. It was Maya's older brother. Her parents had been too overwhelmed and too distraught to speak to anyone.

In a stunning turn of events, Maya had made it through the night and she was improving. As soon as Pam told Emily the news she felt a weight being lifted off of her.

She looked at Alison, and all of her pain completely faded. The blonde had become a focal point for her. All she had to do was look at her and she felt like everything was going to be okay.

o ~ O ~ o

For the next week Emily stayed glued to her phone, waiting for updates on Maya's condition. Alison rarely left her side. She was with her at school, at work, after school, and every minute in between.

Maya's brother kept in touch, letting them know about her daily improvements. Even so, Emily couldn't concentrate on anything. Work had become a repetition that she performed on autopilot. She fell behind in a few of her classes, but her friends tried to help her pick up the slack. The apartment was officially hers. She'd gotten the keys to her new place, but she hadn't started packing yet. It was the furthest thing from her mind.

She wasn't going to feel better until she heard Maya's voice. Emily wanted to talk to her, but Maya's parents were being strict about her rehab. She wasn't allowed any contact all week. They told her that they could talk the next weekend.

By Saturday, her brain was completely fried. Even though Maya was out of the hospital, Emily still couldn't move past what had happened.

Alison wasn't surprised when Emily told her she wanted to go see Maya in person. They had been snuggling together on Emily's couch on Saturday morning after they'd eaten breakfast.

Emily had invited her over because her parents were volunteering at a weekend rummage sale at church. Pam had taken a long time to decide which house of worship she wanted to go to, but after hearing about Maya she'd finally settled on one. She'd been praying for her non-stop. And she'd jumped right into the evangelical masses.

Emily hadn't been to a service in years. When she'd originally rebelled against religion her mother had fought her on it. It had only pushed Emily further away. Emily pretty much worshiped at the church of Alison DiLaurentis. They had breakfast that Saturday and then went into the living room to watch Netflix, which usually turned into something more.

Usually when they were alone one of them made a move on the other. But Emily wasn't herself. Alison could tell something was on her mind, so she asked her to just come out and say what she needed to say. So Emily told her she was going to see her ex-girlfriend.

"I texted her last night. I asked her to ask her parents if I could visit."

Emily showed Alison her phone. The text exchange seemed harmless. At 8:48 pm Emily had sent Maya a text asking her how she was doing.

Hey, it's Emily. Been a long time. Heard about what happened. I wanted to call and chat, but I'm thinking maybe this warrants a visit in person? I'm in PA, and your mom says you're in DC now? Tell me if I'm overstepping.

An hour later she'd gotten a response,

Em…it's so good to hear from you. You have no idea. I'd love to catch up. I need to see a friendly face. I'll check with my mom and dad about the visit. What are you doing in Eagles territory?

Dad's job. Military brats are kind of obligated to move when the commander says so.

Twenty minutes later Maya had written back,

Mom said a visit is fine. When did you want to come down?

Is tomorrow too soon?

No. To tell you the truth I'm going stir-crazy. Would love to be able to get away for a little while.

How are you?

Exhausted.

Emily could only imagine. She wondered what Maya remembered, if anything. She wondered if she'd tried to tell her parents the truth. Would they have believed her? The rest of Maya's text was cryptic.

Will go into more detail tomorrow. Want to do a late lunch?

Just have to make sure I can borrow the car. Shouldn't a problem. I'll head down after mom and dad get home from church.

Your mother doesn't force you to go ingest organized religion that hates our kind anymore?

A lot has changed. We'll talk about it tomorrow.

Sounds good.

Alison scrolled through the exchange. She liked that Emily was being so open with her about it. She liked it less that she was talking to Maya again.

Emily gently took her phone back.

"I know it's weird, but I just…I have to get closure on this. I have to look at her…to see her and know that she's okay." Emily sighed.

"You're going to DC?" Alison sat back against the couch. She was a little nervous, because she was afraid Emily would fall for Maya again and they'd lose what they had.

"It isn't that far away. It's just a couple of hours. My parents already told me I could borrow the car."

Alison took a calculated breath. She paused and then shook her head.

"You don't need to do that. I can drive."

"I would like to arrive in DC alive." Emily gave her a hard time. Alison laughed and shoved her. Emily grabbed her hand before she could pull it away. She smiled at her. "I appreciate it. I really do. But I kind of need to do this on my own."

"Oh," Alison said quietly. She looked down at the floor.

"It's…it doesn't have anything to do with you versus her. She's my past. You are my future." Emily reached out and put her fingers underneath Alison's chin. "What I had with her…" She peered at the blonde, "…it doesn't compare to what I have with you."

"I wasn't trying to stake a claim on you or anything. I just thought you might want the company." She seemed downtrodden.

"Normally I would beg you to ride shotgun." But she needed the time to think. She needed the peace and quiet. She felt like the ever-looming omnipresent cyber-freak was hovering over her. "But showing up to see my ex-girlfriend who was almost murdered with my new girlfriend and a pregnant belly in tow might actually send her running for the drugs."

"Are you going to tell her?" For months it felt like the baby was just their little secret. Alison knew that eventually she was going to tell people. But for now, it had been nice keeping it between them and a group of very select friends.

"I'm not going to have to tell her. She'll know."

"You're not showing that much." Alison looked at her protruding stomach. Emily didn't hide it around her anymore, but most kids at school couldn't see the growing bump because of the clothes Hanna had helped her pick out.

"It's not about that." Emily replied. "I couldn't hide it from her even if I tried. She knows me too well…" She drifted off.

Alison saw a strange look on her face.

"You really loved her, didn't you?" It tasted bitter to say.

Emily looked at Alison. She knew how strange it was to be talking to her about this.

"I did." She thoughtfully took Alison's hands in hers. "But I love you more." She smiled. "You're the one I'm coming home to. You're the one I'm planning my Valentine's Day with. You were my first kiss, my first crush…my first love…"

"I wish I could have been your first real relationship." Because she felt like nothing could compete with that.

"You are," Emily said without skipping a beat.

It made Alison feel special, but she still didn't like the idea of Emily alone with her ex-girlfriend. She wasn't afraid anything was going to happen. She knew it wouldn't. She trusted Emily. She was afraid that old feelings would resurface and that she wouldn't be able to compete with Maya.

Emily read the look on her face.

"You have nothing to worry about." She assured her.

"I'm not." The lie wasn't convincing to either one of them.

"You're thinking about tailing me to DC, aren't you?"

"What?" Alison scoffed. Yes, complete with a disguise. "No, of course not."

"Ali, promise me you're not scheming."

"Cross my heart and hope to die." Alison reached up and drew an X across her chest.

"I wouldn't hope to die. That's actually plausible with this psycho after us." She glanced at Alison. "I didn't even think about that…about you being alone. Caleb said the security at your place is good to go, right?"

Alison hated that Caleb was so efficient. She probably could have weaseled her way into Emily's DC trip if she said Caleb hadn't installed security at her place.

"Yeah. The new app is on my phone."

"I want you to call him or Hanna for help if anything goes wrong."

I'd rather die. Alison thought to herself.

They heard a car pulling into the driveway. Emily felt Alison holding her a little tighter. She didn't say anything, but Emily could tell exactly what she was thinking.

Please don't go.

Two hours later, Emily was kissing Alison goodbye in her driveway. They held hands, their fingers brushing together. Alison looked at the car and considered trying to sneak into the back seat.

Emily fiddled with the keys. She always felt so different when she was holding car keys. Her bike key felt more natural in her hands. She also felt more comfortable on her bike than she did in a car, which was ironic, considering cars offered more protection.

"Be careful." Alison linked her fingers in between Emily's. "Come home in one piece."

Emily couldn't stand the way that Alison was looking at her…like it was the end of the world.

"It's just a day trip. It's not like I'm going off to war." Emily tried to lighten the mood.

"Technically, we have been drafted into a battle against our will. Whoever is doing this went far enough to hurt Maya. I don't like to think about you alone and in a city you don't know. Who knows what they could do to you there?"

"I'm more likely to get stabbed by a random stranger than to run into that freak there." Emily leaned against the car.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Alison pushed her lips out in a pout.

"It's supposed to make you realize that danger is everywhere. And there is only so much we can do."

She played with the sideview mirror on the car. She stared at the words OBJECT IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR that were written in little letters near the bottom. She could see her stomach in the reflection, and she couldn't help but laugh, because the baby's due date was getting closer.

"Says the girl who had someone install secret security at my house."

"Because that's something we can do. We can adapt. But we can't walk around in a bubble because of one person."

"Can't I just put a tiny bubble around you? Or maybe just one around the baby…since she can't take care of herself yet?"

"She's got me to take care of her. And you. She's fine." Emily rubbed Alison's arm. "Everything will be fine. We're close to figuring this out. We have to be."

"Maybe Maya will remember something about the night she was drugged." Alison tried to be hopeful.

"That's the spirit. Maybe this visit will solve everything. We'll have it all sorted out before Valentine's Day."

It was only two weeks away. As luck would have it, it was happening on a Saturday. That gave them the whole day and night to spend it together. They'd both been planning things for their special weekend. They had no way of knowing that it was going to end in heartbreak.

o ~ O ~ o

Emily was in a contemplative mood the entire trip. She didn't listen to the radio. She needed the silence to think about things. She zoned out the entire way. She couldn't stop thinking about her past and how it had collided with her future.

She was so spacey that she nearly missed the exit. She'd been in the car for two hours. It felt like two minutes.

It didn't really hit her until she was pulling into Maya's driveway that she had no idea what she was going to say. She was in uncharted territory.

She had all kinds of strange thoughts running through her mind. All she could picture was the last time she'd ever seen her. It had been two days after they were drugged at the party.

They had been at Emily's house, lying on her bed doing homework. Things had been a little tense since the night of the party. Emily still hadn't dealt with what happened. And Maya was acting like it wasn't a big deal.

Emily was still insanely pissed at the guys who had drugged them. Part of her felt like driving a car through the detention center where they were being held. Maya had talked her down from her anger.

She'd pulled out a playlist and they'd sprawled out on Emily's bed side by side. They'd been on their stomachs facing the door. Maya was sharing her earphones. Emily nodded along to the beat. Maya had great taste in music. She always found the best songs to help relax the mood.

They'd been sharing their math book and going through their homework assignment, giggling at a photo that Maya had doodled in the corner of the book of two snakes on an axis plane. Her brother had been obsessed with the movie Snakes on a Plane, and the lesson they were learning was about the axis plane.

Emily felt Maya's bare feet twisting against her ankles and they turned to face one another, both of them smiling. Her mother was out working in the yard and her father was at work, so she was appreciating the alone time she had with Maya.

She didn't know how she'd been lucky enough to land someone beautiful, smart, funny, and musically talented. She loved everything about her. Her dark brown eyes were accentuated by beautiful thick eyelashes and perfectly shaped brows. Her face was smooth and soft without a blemish in sight. Her thick natural curls shaped her face perfectly. She always had one coil that was astray, like a daredevil that would never conform to society.

Emily took few minutes to admire her. Maya realized it after she noticed that Emily hadn't talked for almost three minutes. She saw Emily staring.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

"Yeah. My lips."

The kiss had been short and sweet, because they didn't want to get caught. Maya always looked so bashful after they kissed. For some reason, Maya had shied away. It was unlike her.

"Everything okay?" Emily had questioned.

"I don't want to get distracted from our homework." She'd touched the edge of the book and then looked up at Emily, a sultry look on her face. "Because if you distract me anymore…I won't be able to control myself. And if your mom catches us…"

"I'm sorry. I wish I could come out."

"It's okay. I get it." She'd paused and thought about it. "Well, no, I guess I don't. My parents are fine with me being bi." Her dad was actually bi. "It's still hard though…not being able to hold your hand in public."

Maya had looked away. Emily knew what she was thinking. She was thinking about being in the diner after the frat party. Emily had basically shunned her in front of the boys. She didn't want them to know they were together. It wasn't fair to Maya.

There was a period of silence. They had drifted back into awkward territory. Emily hated it.

"Listen…about the party…"

"We don't have to talk about it." Maya had cut her off.

"Okay, well…what about what happened after? With Isaac and Nick?"

"What about it?"

"At the diner…I wasn't trying to…"

A shrill noise interrupted Emily. Maya's cell phone was trilling from inside the side pocket of her backpack. Maya reached for it to shut it off. She saw it was her mom calling.

She hit the ignore button and was getting ready to put it up, but it started ringing again seconds later. After she hit ignore again a text message popped up. Maya read it and her eyes widened. She sat up in bed.

"Is something wrong?" Emily sat up next to her.

"I have to go. My parents are freaking out about something. They want me home…" She'd quickly gathered her things.

She was in such a rush that she almost forgot to tell Emily goodbye. She slipped her feet into her jellie shoes and then spun back towards Emily. She leaned over and gave her a quick goodbye kiss.

"I'll call you later. I love you." Maya grabbed her bag.

"Love you, too."

They were the last words they'd ever said to one another. That had been the last Emily had heard from her. After Maya got home all of her electronics had been confiscated. Her parents had found a stash of her drugs. They'd basically had a drug camp on speed dial. They'd pulled her out of school and decided that they were going to send her to boarding school. They had made the decision to move so they could be closer to the boarding school.

Emily had been a frantic wreck after she hadn't heard from her after twenty-four hours. Her mom and dad found out the truth through the gossip chain. Some of the people spreading the rumors suggested that they toss Emily's room to see if she was doing drugs, too. Her dad had vehemently opposed it. He knew he'd raised his daughter better than that.

When they told Emily about Maya she'd had to control her reaction. She was devastated, but she couldn't show just how torn up she was or they'd know. They'd figure out why her heart was broken.

She had tried for weeks to figure out a way to get in touch with Maya, but had never had any luck.

She'd spent days lying in her bed and staring at the ceiling. She also beat the holy hell out of the punching bag at the gym. It led to a lot of self-reflection. She had a lot of unanswered questions. Why hadn't she known more about her drug use? Why were her parents being so hard on her? If she found her could they still have a future together?

Now, the future was staring her in the face. And everything was so different.

Emily sat in her car outside of Maya's house, trying to sum up the courage to walk to the front door. It dawned on her that they'd been separated when Maya was shipped away, but they'd never officially broken up. Obviously they were broken up. It had been a year and a half. But it was still weird to think about.

She thought about what Maya had last looked like when she told her she loved her. Emily never thought she would love someone again. Now, Emily was saying those three little words to Alison. She felt it with someone other than Maya. She felt it much stronger than she ever had with Maya. It was a strange feeling.

Emily took a deep breath before getting out of the car. She looked down at her stomach. Her clothing was hiding some evidence of her pregnancy, but there was no way Maya was going to miss it.

She walked up the garden path that led to Maya's front porch. She climbed three steps and then lifted her hand to knock on the door. Before her fist made contact, the door opened up.

Maya was standing there smiling at her. She looked weary, but had a strong resolve on her face. Her eyes were soft. They were always soft when she saw Emily.

Emily thought for sure that she might feel something…anything. But all she could think about was Alison.

"Took you long enough." Maya gave her a cheeky smile. "I thought you were getting ready to turn the car around and flee."

"I…uh…" Emily glanced back at the car, like it was going to do a trick or something. "Long drive." She could feel her bladder burning. "Actually, I kind of have to use the restroom."

"Sure. Come on." Maya waved her in. She showed Emily where the bathroom was.

When Emily was finished she walked back into the living room, where Maya was waiting. She was sitting on the couch. Emily sat down on the opposite end of the couch, leaving a large amount of space between them. They stared at one another for a minute. Neither one of them knew what to say.

Emily tried to break the tension.

"Hey." She smiled tentatively.

"Hey." Maya smiled back.

"It's been a long time." Emily clasped her hands and put them against her belly.

"It has." Maya glanced down at her stomach. "Are you…"

"Yeah. It's a long story."

"Holy shit. And I thought I had the market cornered on being a wild child. Did your parents freak?"

"Oh, big time." Emily nodded. "But we're working through it." She looked around. Maya's house felt really quiet. "What about your parents? How have things been?"

"I'm not allowed out without a chaperone." Maya rolled her eyes. "They're not here, but my brother is upstairs. Probably trolling some newb on one of his online RPGs. Can't bitch at him too much. He's actually the one who found me. Saved my life…"

"How are you? How are you feeling?"

Maya looked around, like she thought someone was listening. She leaned back against the sofa. She curled her legs up underneath her and wrapped her hands around her body in a self-hug.

"Tired." She mashed her lips together in thought. "Confused."

There was a beat of silence.

"Maya, what happened?"

Maya looked at her. She had a strange look on her face. Emily recognized it. She knew what Maya was holding back. She knew the truth, but she didn't know how to come right out and say it. She didn't know if it was safe to say anything. She was afraid that saying anything might come back to hurt Maya. Or Alison.

"It doesn't matter." Maya muttered. "No one believes me."

"I will." Emily promised.

Maya loosened her arms, letting them fall to her sides. She chewed on her lip.

"I didn't do it, Em. I think…" She hesitated. "It's like exactly what happened back in Texas."

"The frat party?" Emily asked.

"No." Maya thought about it. "Well, yes, kind of. That's where it started. I've always thought that getting drugged there was connected to what happened afterwards."

"What do you mean?"

"You remember the day I rushed out of your house?" Maya shifted on the couch.

"How could I forget?" Emily looked at the floor. "It's the last day we saw one another."

"I'm so sorry. I tried to find a way to get in touch with you, but my parents practically threw me into the car and hauled me away."

"What does that have to do with what happened at the party?" Emily asked in confusion.

"The drugs that my parents found," Maya said. "They weren't mine."

"What?"

"Well, I mean…some of them were mine. But there were things in there I'd never seen before. Hard drugs. Stuff that I would never use. I'm not an idiot. Pot is one thing. And shrooms. But there was like…heroin and meth. And fentanyl. I'd never seen it before in my life."

"Are you saying someone planted it?" Emily felt sick to her stomach. "Why? Who would do that?"

"I assumed the college frat assholes. We did get them into some deep shit."

"That doesn't make any sense. No one in their right mind would waste those kinds of drugs just to mess with some high-schooler."

"It wasn't a lot. I'm guessing a lot of it was cut with other stuff to make it look like a lot."

"Yeah, but…why would they just go after you? I mean…if anything I'm the one who antagonized them."

"I thought about that a lot." Maya nodded thoughtfully. "I think what happened is that by getting me in trouble they were trying to punish us both by getting us separated. Kill two birds with one stone."

Emily hadn't considered that.

"Do you think they knew…about us?" Emily asked. "We were so careful…"

"Anyone could have seen us going into that closet. And we were in there for like half an hour and came out looking like two hot messes. It's probably why those rapey douchebags wanted us both. Probably thought we'd fulfill some perverted chauvinistic male fantasy." She turned her nose up in disgust.

That night had been hell. It had put Maya through so much turmoil. It wasn't fair. Why was she being punished for what had happened at the party?

The set-up had forced Maya into a life she didn't ask for. And it had forced Emily into hiding with Isaac.

Maybe it was supposed to be a punishment for Emily. Maybe the person torturing her knew she wasn't out to her parents and they were trying to force her to come out by taking Maya away from her. Maybe all of this was because of her. Maybe Maya was being punished because whoever was doing it was trying to hurt her.

"I'm so sorry, Maya."

"It's not your fault."

"Actually…I think it might be…"

Everything that was happening led back to her. She thought about how vulnerable Alison had been at the bar. Then she thought about how vulnerable Maya must have been…dying, by herself.

Emily took a moment to think about it. Maya's overdose had happened the same night that Alison was drugged at the bar. Could it have been the same person?

"When exactly did the OD happen?"

"Friday. Right after school." Maya flinched. It was obvious she was still dealing with the trauma. It was so hard for Emily not to fall back on old habits. She wanted to reach out and hold her hand. "It's mostly a blur. But I went to the park to meet up with my brother, like I usually do. He plays hoops with his buddies every Friday. Gives them a break from campus. Plus, we usually have Friday dinners with my mom and dad."

So, it was a routine. It was something that could have been studied. It's something that a stalker would know.

"I usually sneak a few tokes from my vape over behind the restrooms. It's quiet and secluded. I have to be careful about smoking in public, because if my parents find out I still smoke weed they'd kill me." She paused and then laughed harshly. "Though I guess that doesn't really matter now." She snapped her wrist flippantly. "That's where things get a little blurry. I remember hearing something in the bushes. I felt something sharp prick my neck right below my ear. I remember my head burning. I thought I saw someone, but then everything went black."

"You saw someone?" Emily asked.

"I thought I saw someone, but I don't remember anything about them." She furrowed her brow. Her eyes suddenly popped and she held her index finger up like she'd suddenly had a thought. "Oh, I remember seeing red paint on their shoes. It was the weirdest thing."

A chill racked Emily's body.

Red paint.

Alison had mentioned the same thing about the guy at the bar.

It had been the same guy. It couldn't be a coincidence. It was probably the same person who had tried to run her off the road. It might have even been the same guy the twins had worked with at the Halloween dance. Maybe that's where the blood red paint had come from.

"Next thing I know I'm waking up, struggling to pull a tube out of my throat. My parents filled me in. My brother found me with an empty syringe sticking out of my arm. I wasn't breathing. He had to do CPR."

Emily felt a pang in her chest. She couldn't imagine losing Maya. Not for real. Even though they'd been separated, she'd always taken comfort in the fact that she was out there somewhere…safe.

"My parents wanted to send me back to rehab, but I'm eighteen. They can't force me. I told them it will never happen again. It shouldn't have even happened in the first place. I'm not an addict."

That's exactly what Emily had said to her mother the night she found out about Maya.

"Did you tell anyone about this?" Emily questioned.

"No one would believe me."

"I do." It was completely plausible, especially considering what Emily knew. "Listen, I think this happened because of me…"

"Stop, Em." Maya threw her hands up and shook her head. "That's not everything."

"It's not?"

"No. The truth is…" She took a breath and nervously licked her lips, "…the truth is this isn't the first time someone has tried to come at me. Someone has been harassing me for a few months."

"What?" Emily's blood ran cold.

"I thought it was some stalker I met at camp or something. But then I started getting threats that were specific…to us. I even got this Snapchat of you in a hospital bed with a cut on your head…"

Emily felt dizzy. How could someone have a picture of her from that night? There had been a very short window of time where she was alone, unless it was someone on the hospital staff. Or perhaps her nightmare about Courtney hadn't been a nightmare after all…

"I wanted to try and find you. I found your Insta, but it was private. I should have reached out to you sooner, but I was too afraid. This person threatened to hurt you again." Emily could hear the rage in her voice. "I couldn't even imagine…I didn't know what they did to you, but I didn't want you to get hurt again. I don't know how you ended up in the hospital or anything, but…I've got to ask…" She peered at Emily's belly again. "You weren't…um…" She tiptoed around her words, "…no one forced this pregnancy on you, did they?"

"No. Not at all."

"Good." Maya breathed a sigh of relief. "Because the more I thought about how this might be connected to that frat party…the more I worried someone tried to recreate that night." Maya moved her feet out from under her.

"How often do you get the messages?" Emily asked.

"About once a month." Maya made a face. "It's like if menstrual cramps were text messages. The first one was harmless. Just kid stuff. But then at Thanksgiving I got that picture of you…"

Emily cocked her head. It was strange that the cyberfreak had held on to the photo for almost a month before sending it. It was very calculated.

"Why were you in the hospital?" Maya asked.

"There was an accident at the school dance. A decoration came loose and hit me over the head. It knocked me out."

Maya saw the look on Emily's face.

"It wasn't an accident, was it?"

"No."

"I hate that someone did this to you to get to me." Maya rubbed her face.

"That's not exactly…" She stuttered nervously, "I…I actually came here today because…"

She thought about the picture of Maya's hand. Then she thought about the message about dragging people into this. And she froze. Because what if she told Maya the truth and Alison was the next person to face the consequences because of it?

She was torn. She owed Maya the truth. But she couldn't risk putting Alison's life in danger. Not again. Someone was playing a game of cat and mouse with her, pitting her past against her present. And she had a choice to make. Maya or Alison.

It wasn't even a question in her mind.

It was Alison. It would always be Alison.

She looked up at Maya, who had scooted a little closer to her. She was looking at her eagerly as she awaited what she was going to say.

"I came here because I couldn't stop thinking about that frat party either. We never talked about it. And I felt so guilty for pushing you away after Isaac and Nick came into the picture that night."

"I didn't take it personally." Maya leaned her elbow against the couch, tangling her fingers in her thick coils.

"I should have been there for you. We both got drugged and nearly raped that night. And all I could think about was what it would look like if we held hands in that diner in front of the guys. I was selfish."

"Em…" She said her name so softly, so kindly. It made Emily's heart ache. Maya smiled softly and shook her head. "You still do the whole martyr thing. Guess that hasn't changed. You seriously drove all the way out here to tell me that?"

"You dying sort of prompted me to come check on you."

"Fair." Maya nodded. "I hope I didn't overwhelm you with all of my drama."

"In case you hadn't noticed…I have a little drama of my own." Emily laughed sheepishly as she touched her stomach.

"You certainly have a way of sticking it to your parents." She looked at Emily's baby bump. "You really went the distance to stay in the closet, huh?"

"Actually…I came out to them. Last summer."

"Whoa. So then…" Maya looked confused. "Okay, dish about what's going on with you then. What did they say? How did this happen?" She waved her hands towards her belly. "And with who? I didn't even know you liked boys."

"I don't."

"Oh? Someone intersex?" She guessed.

"No." Emily sighed. Every time she thought about how she had used Isaac she felt guilty. "It's a really long story."

"We've got time." Maya smiled. "And apparently a lot to catch up on. You want to go for a cup of coffee?"

She casually reached out and grazed Emily's arm. Emily tensed up and pulled back.

"I have a girlfriend." Emily blurted out.

"It's just a cup of coffee, Em." Maya laughed. "You came to see me, remember?" She reached into her pocket and typed something into her cell phone. A few seconds later Emily's phone chirped from inside her pocket. Emily opened the message and saw a photo of Maya and a guy in a basketball jersey. "His name is Deon. He's my boyfriend. Met him last year."

"So…" Emily nodded with a sheepish laugh. "I guess we should talk about breaking up."

Maya laughed, too.

"I guess we should."

"Over coffee?" Emily suggested. "Or…tea for me."

"I know just the place."

Maya went to grab her brother. He drove them to a little coffee shop. He tinkered around on his laptop at another table while the girls talked in a private booth in a different room. It was just the two of them.

Maya told Emily the extent of the bullying that she'd been faced with the past few months. She had been receiving text messages since Thanksgiving, which meant it had started after Emily had started getting her messages. It also meant that someone had slipped in and snapped a picture of Emily in her hospital bed.

The first thing that had popped in her head was the nightmare she'd had about Courtney visiting her. She'd dreamed that she'd had a miscarriage, but none of it had ever happened. There had been no blood. Her baby was perfectly fine.

It felt like Courtney. All signs pointed to her. But it didn't make sense. Because there was no way a high-schooler could fly across the country any time they wanted just to screw with an old nemesis. It was even less likely with parents like hers. They barely let her or Isaac leave town without interrogating their friends. Even when Courtney had away swim meets her dad went with her.

Isaac told her that Courtney made snide comments about it all the time, talking about how she was legally an adult and that they couldn't tell her what to do anymore. But her mom and dad pulled the "you live under my house, you live by my rules" thing.

But things seemed to be changing in San Antonio. Isaac had mentioned that Courtney was starting to get her way more, which meant…maybe she was getting away with more.

Talking to Maya brought everything she'd tried to forget about San Antonio bubbling to the surface.

Maya talked about everything she'd been through. Her road had been rough, but she'd made it through. After the move she'd found a new sense of normalcy. She talked about meeting Deon. And she talked about how he'd really brought her out of a dark place. She told Emily that they planned to go through their undergrad programs together. He wanted to be a nurse. She wanted to be a musical therapist. She also wanted to continue playing her music.

Emily nodded and smiled when Maya talked about her college plans. It's something that she didn't talk to Alison about a lot. She knew that Alison was waiting to hear back from two places she'd applied to. She didn't know that Alison had actually already heard back from one of them. The blonde was holding on to a few secrets of her own.

When it was Emily's turn she opened up about how things had changed for her. She told her about Isaac. She told her how he'd been there for her after she got shipped away. She expected Maya to judge her, but she listened quietly.

Maya saw Emily's face light up when she talked about Alison. There was a spark in her eyes that she'd never seen before. It was a look she hadn't even seen when she and Emily were together. Alison didn't just have a piece of her heart. She had all of it.

They circled back to the texts that Maya had been getting. She said that other than being drugged, she hadn't been attacked in any other way. She had made all of her socials private just to be on the safe side, and she didn't use the location on her phone anymore.

Emily was hoping that the physical danger had been a one time thing. She knew that this person was more focused on her, and was likely to lurk closer to Rosewood than DC. But it still concerned her. She told Maya to be careful. She told her to keep her posted.

They talked for nearly two hours before they went back to Maya's house. They chatted for another hour in her living room. It was starting to get late, and Emily knew she had a long drive back, so she told Maya she needed to get going.

Maya walked her out. They lingered by her car door.

"It was really good to see you, Em. I've missed you." She smiled sadly.

"I've missed you, too."

There was a beat of silence. Maya reached up and wrapped her arms around her chest. She sighed.

"I'm going to be honest…sometimes I wish things could have worked out differently." She dropped her arms and shoved her hands into her pockets. "I really loved you. I don't think I'll ever stop loving you." She looked away. She felt awkward. "I mean, I love Deon. I'm happy with him. I love him so much. But for me…you were my first."

"I get that."

But not for the same reason. She understood, because she'd never been able to let go of the torch she had been carrying for Alison since they'd kissed in her treehouse when they were kids. Alison had been her first love.

Maya didn't miss the expression on Emily's face. And even though the years had passed she could still read her. She saw the glint of love in her eyes.

"Is she good to you?" Maya asked. "And the baby?"

"Very much so." Emily smiled.

She never would have dreamed she would be comfortable with her pregnancy, but Alison touching her belly felt natural to her. Alison singing to her daughter made her feel warm inside. It was clear how much the blonde cared about the baby. She was as in love with her daughter as Emily was.

"And you love her?"

"I do." Emily nodded. Alison could be a wild and crazy bitch sometimes, but Emily loved her.

"I'm glad you found someone. You deserve it. You deserve the best."

"So do you." Emily replied with a sincere look on her face.

Maya extended her arms, inviting her in for a hug. Emily accepted. It was strange, because Emily didn't feel a thing as she pulled Maya close. It was amazing how time managed to heal the broken pieces.

When they pulled away Maya rubbed Emily's shoulder.

"Take care of yourself, Em."

"You, too, Maya." She turned around to climb in the car.

Maya waved to her. Emily lifted her hand and waved back. She reached for her phone and sent her parents a text to let them know she was on her way home. Then she sent a text to Alison.

Leaving DC. Should be home in a few hours. Everything ok there?

Alison had been waiting for her text. She was worried about her being by herself and being so far away. She was relieved when she saw the message on her screen. She sent her a quick message back.

Yes. The parental units are home, so no psycho-murderer dare come within 5 miles of my house. She'd added an eyeroll emoji. They're screaming at one another. Dad came home smelling like a whore with lipstick on his collar again. At this point I'd probably be safer with the stalker.

Emily frowned. She hated that Alison lived in such a volatile home environment.

Go hang out with Hanna?

You mean...like…willingly?

God, you're stubborn. Be there soon.

Drive safe. Call me when you get home.

Emily put her phone down and then waved to Maya one last time before starting the car and pulling out of the driveway.

She thought she'd feel sad driving away. But it felt like a natural thing to do. It felt like she'd made progress…even though she didn't have any more answers than she'd had before the visit.

She still wasn't any closer to her stalker, but she had gotten answers about her past. She'd gotten the closure she'd needed. She felt like she'd been able to let go of some things she'd still been holding on to. And she knew that in the process the pieces of the puzzle were going to come together. Everything was connected. She just had to figure out how.

She put her hand on her stomach. She was running out of time. Her daughter would be here soon, and the last thing Emily wanted was for her to be born into a world of turmoil and danger. The only thing that was keeping her from completely spiraling was the love of a certain blonde, who at that very moment was thinking about just how much she loved her girlfriend and her baby.

Something had changed between the two of them the night they'd exchanged "I love yous". Something had shifted in their dynamic. They'd had a moment. Their first real moment in which they felt like a family. When Emily's little girl kicked after Alison told her she loved her it felt like a sign from the universe. Their love was beautiful and natural and meant to be. And it was stronger than any force in the universe.

But would that love be enough to protect Emily's daughter from the dangers looming in the shadows?

A/N: I love making the "I love yous" special. It's also satisfying as a writer to close chapters of a character's past...sort of. We all know it's never quite that simple. At least not in my stories.

As always, seeing your reviews brightens my day. Maybe I'm just getting sentimental as this story gets closer to its end (since I don't plan on doing any more), but it just feels nice knowing I've had so many awesome people on my writing journey.