A/N: *hem hem*

Umbridge would not be happy with this chapter since boys and girls are not permitted to be within eight inches of each other. This is your obligatory reminder that this story is rated M. Carry on.

Her bag and jacket fell from her hands, making a clatter as they hit the floor. Her grip on her wand tightened as she took him in.

His blond hair was disheveled and he looked like he hadn't slept in days, though he'd obviously showered and changed in the last few hours. He was wearing sweats and a t-shirt like he'd just come from training. He was also watching her closely, but seemed hesitant to act. Rose was unsure of what to do herself.

"Where the hell have you been?" she finally choked out. Scorpius sighed and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and hold his head in his hands. He didn't say anything, and Rose managed to orient herself to the situation enough to act. She closed her front door, locking it and putting up a few extra security spells like she'd done the night before. He was still sitting with his head in his hands as she locked the Floo before placed her wand on the mantle.

"I was trying to find Theo," he said, a sorrowful note to his voice that she hadn't expected. "I went and saw Pansy, who told me to talk to my uncle and someone named Simon Vaisey."

Rose sat in the chair across from him with her mouth open in shock. "Your uncle Blaise?"

Scorpius nodded and raised his head, though didn't meet her eyes. "I went to talk to him after I saw Pansy, and then I went to Vaisey's sister's place in Wales early Saturday morning. She lives in a village on the coast and wouldn't talk to me, but managed to slip and say her brother wasn't home before she figured out why I was looking for him, so I know he usually lives there. I hung around the town all day to see if she or her brother or even Theo would show, and then rented a room at the inn across from her flat. I think I slept a little bit but I mostly just sat at the window and watched absolutely nothing happen. I finally realized how stupid I was being late last night."

His eyes held a swirl of emotions as he finally looked at her. She could see regret and disappointment and hurt and anger, though none of it was directed at her.

"I went to the Ministry to tell them everything I knew, but my uncle was already there," he said, his voice strained as he wrung his hands. "I think they're going to suspend me for going rogue and interfering with an investigation, but at least I'm the reason my uncle went to the Ministry in the first place. He gave them everything they need. First chance they get, they're arresting Theo."

Rose's breath caught in her throat, tears welling in her eyes and pain filling her on Scorpius' behalf. It was maddening that he'd been at the Ministry all day and no one had told her, but she found it didn't matter as much now that he was actually here.

His eyes were watery as he looked away from her, but the light shining across his angular features from the single lit lamp next to the sofa made it easy for her to see a tear drip down the side of his nose.

"Scorpius...I'm so sorry."

His eyes fell closed and he gave a subtle shake of his head. "You were right. Everyone was right, and I was the fucking idiot who decided to trust him."

Rose frowned at him. "You shouldn't blame yourself for that."

"Why not?" he said with a shrug. "You do."

"What?!" said Rose, her mouth open in shock and her voice shrill.

"Don't deny it," he said, his eyes snapping to hers. "You said you couldn't trust him after seeing how often he'd let me down, and there's no way you don't think it was downright moronic of me to actually have faith in him."

"I never said that, Scorpius!" she insisted, standing from her chair as indignation shot through her. "You're right that I didn't trust him. The fact that he's hurt you made it very hard for me not to be hesitant to trust him, but I wanted to. I hate the fact that I was in any way right not to, because even if I wasn't able to trust him yet, I admired just how loyal to him you were. And I hope you can understand that as much as I wanted to feel the same way about him that you do for your sake, it's you that I'm loyal to, not Theo. So you can't expect me to say nothing when I think you're in danger of being hurt again."

She was now crying as Scorpius looked at her with an unreadable expression, but she couldn't stop now she'd started.

"And sometimes I feel like no matter what I do, you'll never fully trust me," she cried. "I know you're hurting, but I've done my best to be there for you and the minute I questioned your loyalty to someone who hasn't been, you walked away from me! And I can't tell you how much that hurt, because I did nothing wrong. You were the one to make a mistake. Not because you trusted him, but because you ran off on your own, not trusting the people who love you to help you. After you said you weren't going to be running into danger on your own, you did just that."

Rose roughly wiped away her tears as they continued to fall, all those emotions she'd kept at bay for the past few days spiralling out of control as she sobbed out the question that had been eating away at her the most. "Why do you keep pushing me away?"

She knew she looked miserable as she waited, watching him imploringly, her face blotchy and her hair still damp from the rain. It was impossible to guess how he was going to react, because he'd been nothing but unpredictable to her the past few days. Even the past few weeks.

His eyes still held regret and pain, but it felt like where it was directed had changed. Rather than feeling those things for himself, he felt them for her.

"Rose, I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head as he stood from the sofa and moved towards her. "I'm so sorry."

She let herself sob as he pulled her into his arms, her hands fisting the front of his shirt as she cried into his chest. And he was crying too, shaking slightly as he held her tight. It was strange to think he'd only last held her three nights ago in the hospital, but that moment now felt like a world away. A lifetime had passed since then, but all the comfort she'd been seeking in the meantime was finally hers as his familiar scent and warm presence surrounded her.

"I...I hate the fact that he's completely betrayed your trust," Rose managed to say, her voice muffled against his chest. "But please stop being so flippant with mine."

If possible, he held her even tighter, one hand going up into her hair as the other pressed into her back. She could feel every inch of his chest against hers, and in spite of - or maybe because of - the heightened emotions of their current situation, excitement shot through her at the intimate feel of him.

"You scared me to death running off like that," she whispered, reveling in his heart beating strongly against hers and his ragged breath in her ear.

"I'm so sorry, love," he said, brushing a kiss above her ear. "I'm sorry I keep fucking everything up."

Rose shook her head against his chest, snaking her arms around his waist and bringing them even closer together. "You don't," she said. "But I know what's happening is going to make it harder for you to trust anyone, and if you can't...I don't know if I can do this if you can't-"

"Rose, I trust you," he said, pulling back only enough to be able to meet her gaze, his own was nothing but sincere. "I'm sorry I've given you so many reasons to doubt me when you've given me none to doubt you. You're...Merlin, you're-"

He cut himself off to kiss her, his lips dry yet salty from his tears. Rose had to hold back another sob as he poured himself into the kiss, feeling helpless to do anything other than completely lose herself in him. It was a much preferable feeling than dealing with all the intense and confusing emotions the night had brought forth. Plus, no matter how much he frustrated her or drove her mad, it didn't feel like there was any possible way she could stop loving him.

"You're so perfect," he pulled back to say. "And beautiful-" he kissed her quickly and soundly "-inside and out. And I'm the most unbelievably lucky moron who doesn't deserve you."

Rose pushed up onto her toes to kiss him again, her mouth nearly devouring his in an effort to show him just how wrong she thought he was. "Scorpius," she said breathlessly as she pulled away. "You deserve so much. Please believe that. Please let me...just let me love you."

His eyes were boring into hers, an adoration and fire in them that she'd seen before, but never this strong. Never this all consuming.

There was a new sense of determination present as he ducked down and brought his lips to hers in a mind numbing kiss. Rose could barely stay standing on her own two feet as he ran his hands up and down her back, occasionally gripping her shirt and causing it to ride up. A gasp of pleasure escaped her when his hands finally met bare skin, and he wound his muscular arms around her waist, nearly lifting her off her feet. Her tongue collided with his and tasted desperation and devotion and hunger. There was nothing quite like the taste of Scorpius Malfoy. Nothing like the feel of him wanting her.

When he pulled away so they could breath, there was a heat between them that Rose couldn't ignore, and found she didn't want to ignore. This was different than a snog in the hospital or the library, where things could only go so far. And just a week ago, it would've scared her and she would've fought to regain control of the situation, but there was something about everything that they'd been through the last three days that made her want to throw caution to the wind, because nothing seemed guaranteed anymore. Her own best friend was lying in a hospital bed and might never remember falling in love with her cousin. Scorpius had been in the hospital himself, and though not badly hurt, it just drove home the fact that they weren't impervious to the pain of the world. Anything could happen, and they had no control over it. So why control the things they wanted?

The next few minutes were a blur of kissing and groping and stumbling, but they somehow made it to her bedroom. They didn't even pause to turn the light on as Rose tugged Scorpius' shirt over his head and he responded by trailing kisses down her neck. It was still dusk, so she could vaguely see the defined muscles of his slim torso and couldn't help running her hands over his fair skin. Scorpius boldly slipped his hands under her shirt, doing his own exploration of soft flesh that left Rose's whole body a tingling mess. She lifted her arms as he worked the shirt up her torso before pulling his lips from her neck and tugging it over her head.

Her back hit the mattress a moment later, and then his lips were on hers once again. She was tempted to summon an ounce of control as his body hovered over hers, remembering that they'd said they'd talk about this before it happened, because there was no doubt in her mind where this was heading. But it now seemed childish that she'd wanted to plan it out. To control it. This wasn't about control. It was about loving and feeling and embracing what you had when you had it, because you couldn't necessarily trust it to be there tomorrow.

But she did trust Scorpius. Completely.

He sucked in a breath as she began working his trousers down his hips, and then he started trailing kisses down her neck, between her breasts, and across her stomach until he met the top of her skirt. After standing so he could kick away his sweatpants, he reached for it, pausing uncertainly before Rose grabbed his hand and directed it towards her hip. There was something significant about the sound of him lowering her zipper joining the harmony of their panting. It felt intimate and thrilling, but Scorpius didn't seem bothered with savoring the moment. He tugged down her skirt as soon as he could, and Rose felt her first flush of insecurity as he slowly crawled back over her, his eyes drinking her in.

He'd seen her in a bikini, but this felt different.

"So bloody gorgeous," he said breathlessly, before kissing her tenderly. Rose felt the flush of embarrassment fade from her face, and she wound her arms around his neck. She let the moment drag on, enjoying the fact that they were kissing in such a familiar way, but doing it with her in only her undergarments as she lay on her bed with a just as underdressed Scorpius Malfoy hovering over her.

Or maybe they were overdressed.

Thinking about it wasn't helping her nerves, which were there even if she remained determined to ignore them. Instead, she pulled him closer, willing him to lay more fully on top of her and let their bare skin meet. He seemed a bit reluctant, but Rose had to assume that was because he didn't want to crush her. Wanting to make her intention clear, she parted her legs and dragged her hands down his back until they were resting just above his boxers, and pushed down so his hips came in contact with hers.

The result of this was both shocking and thrilling. Scorpius hissed and bit down almost a little too hard on her lip, while Rose gasped at the feel of him pressed up against her. She hadn't expected it to be so...obvious so soon.

"God, sorry," he said, dragging his lips across her cheek before burying his head in the mattress beside her and panting heavily. Rose turned her head and managed to kiss the tip of his ear, determined to not let him feel anything but confident in what was happening. Slowly, she rolled her hips up against his. He groaned and gave an experimental press against her pelvis in response, and then his restraint began to ebb away. His lips attacked her neck and were sure to leave a mark, the warring sensations of his mouth, his bare torso, and the insistent rolling of his hips almost too much to handle all at once.

Abruptly, Scorpius rolled off of her, and his sudden absence was so shocking that it made Rose gasp. But then a squeal of surprise escaped her as he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him, falling onto his back and dragging her with him so her legs were tangled with his and she was lying flat against his chest.

For a moment, he simply looked up at her, attempting to tuck her wild hair behind her ears as he scanned her features, studying and memorizing them. Rose sat back and ran her hands up his chest until she could plant them on the bed on either side of his head. She gave him a shy smile as he cupped her face, and he returned it with an almost disbelieving one of his own. His hands moved to her shoulders and then down her back as they continued to watch each other, and then there was a question in his eyes as his hands reached the clasp of her bra.

Rose gave a brisk nod, and after only a few seconds of struggling, he managed it, and the straps slid down her arms as the soft, purple garment fell from her chest onto his. She sat up to pull her arms free as Scorpius sucked in a breath, his eyes wide and making her shiver as he took her in. It was nerve wracking and thrilling all at once. She tossed the bra towards her dresser, and his hands were on her hips and moving up her stomach and cupping her breasts in seconds, and Rose let out a gasp of shock, her hands gripping his wrists as her heart pounded.

It was uncertainty and excitement and pleasure and awkward fumblings as he continued to discover her with his hands, and Rose pulled him up to kiss her just to find her bearings. It was exhilarating to know there was only one article of clothing left on each of them, and while she knew they were experiencing so many firsts at once, she wanted to keep going. She wanted all of them with him.

Scorpius' hands made their way up her neck and into her hair as he focused on kissing her, Rose unable to keep from occasionally grinding down into his lap, making it clear what she wanted.

"Rose," he murmured, the word like a prayer against her lips. "Rose, are you sure?"

A shiver went through her. Not because of the chill in the air or the feel of his skin against hers or the knowledge of what they were about to do. But because in those few words, she felt his love for her. She'd given him every sign that she wanted this, but he knew her, and he was proving it, giving her control of the moment and letting her know it was okay to make whichever choice she wanted. He was making whatever she needed to feel safe the priority. But she did feel safe, and stopping was the last thing she wanted. And more than anything, she wanted him to know that she knew how much he loved her, and that everything he'd done out of hurt and frustration and anger the last few days no longer mattered. He was here, he was loving her, and letting her love him too. And she couldn't ask for anything more.

"Yes," she breathed. "I trust you."

It was as if those words flipped a switch in his brain. He looked at her with such love and desire, and she knew from then on, he'd do everything he could to prove he was worthy of that trust.

She was on her back again as he kissed her tenderly, his hands a bit shaky with nerves as they slid her knickers down her legs. He pulled back to finish the job and removed his boxers, and Rose closed her eyes and focused on regaining control of her breathing. She felt his eyes roaming over her entirely naked form as the bed dipped and he crawled back over her. He paused at varying points on his way up to drop kisses on her knee, her thigh, her hip, her stomach, a few across her breasts, and then up her neck. She'd never felt so adored.

"I love you," he whispered, and her eyes fluttered open as he kissed her jaw before finally meeting her lips. Rose ran her hands up his arms and around his neck, her fingers diving into his hair as she mustered up the courage to spread her legs and pull her knees up to cradle his hips.

She knew it would be uncomfortable and even painful for her at first, and she nearly cried in relief that Scorpius knew to make sure she was ready. Her body thrummed with pleasure as he took care to discover new parts of her, fumbling a few times but learning and muttering assurances and making sure she was okay as he reveled in the feel of her.

And the feel of him…Rose wasn't sure it was possible to put into words how right it felt, despite the initial discomfort and twinge of pain. There was something about being so completely vulnerable with someone who was doing the same with you, of crossing into a new understanding of what it meant to be close. It was awkward and messy and even terrifying at times, but all in ways that made her even more sure that being with Scorpius was the best thing she could ever do. The way he cared for her and damn near worshipped her with his whole self - body, heart, and mind - was overwhelming. And she poured everything into letting him know she was completely his, whispering in his ear that she loved him, rocking her hips with his as he gripped her hands against the mattress above her head, and staring deeply into his eyes as he fell apart around her.

There was no one else she wanted to love - no one else she ever wanted loving her - than Scorpius Malfoy.