Devil's Cesspool
This fight won't be good.
Yamcha stepped into a large open chamber with the only ground being two large masoned tongues originating from the mouths of two large demon statues, each sitting on what looked like a toilet. Where he emerged was one of the mouths. All that was below that was a massive lake of dark, sickly green liquid that was bubbling dangerously. Over to the right above a rather large sculpture of a toilet paper roll and holder was a window, though which the rest of the group were viewing from, Uranai Baba included.
"Ladies, Gentlemen, and those otherwise specified, The Devil's Cesspool!" Baba announced. "You will be doing battle atop these demons' tongues, and down below you is a swamp of caustic acid. Observe."
The old crone magically conjured an old steak from nowhere and held it precariously over the aforementioned acid. With a gentle flick of her wrist, she dropped it and when the steak made contact, the acid began to react violently as the steak was swiftly dissolved away, leaving a foul puff of smoke.
"Should you fall into the swamp, you will most certainly die as the acid will eat away at you until not even your bones remain," Baba elaborated, earning a frightful stammer from the bandit challenger and most of the group. Gokū and Caulifla on the other hand looked at this development with a challenging glint in their eyes. "You can still back out now. After all, you still have so much to live for, being so young and all."
"W-Well, I live for battles like these!" Yamcha retorted, the waver in his voice betraying his faltering confidence.
"That's the spirit!" Baba chuckled sinisterly. "Alright, Come on out Mummy!"
"You really have to bring your mother into this?" Yamcha asked, confused and slightly amused. All the crone did was snicker at the bandit's choice in words. Slowly from the other demon's mouth came a large man wrapped in bandages and a sinister grin. Yamcha now understood what the all-seeing crone meant when she said 'mummy,' but couldn't help to jeer once more. "Seriously, did you have to bring your mother into this?"
"Sticks and stones, pal," The Mummy retorted, his grin never fading. "If you live through this, you'll be looking like me for a bit."
"Knock 'em dead Yamcha!" Pu'ar cheered from the viewing area.
"Show that overgrown roll of toilet paper who's boss!" Bulma added.
"Alright, I guess we have a fight," Baba chuckled with sinister mirth. "Remember that if you cry uncle or fall in the acid, you lose. Begin!"
The desert bandit immediately settled into a comfortable fighting stance, taking mental notes of the larger bandage-wrapped man before him. 'He's big, but he also looks heavy, the sort who relies on pure strength to win,' Yamcha surmised mentally, smirking to myself. 'Safe bet that I'll have the speed and technique advantage.'
With a mighty shout, Yamcha shot forward, primed to attack. The Mummy seemed intent on doing the same, but kept quiet, his grin ever present. What surprised the bandit was when the gauze-covered man kicked upward and vaulted over with surprising speed and agility.
"You were betting on a speed advantage, eh?" The Mummy chuckled as he turned around to face a surprised Yamcha. He then brought his massive leg up for a kick to the head, which Yamcha barely ducked under, but The Mummy quickly followed it up with several punches, some were dodged or parried, others hit home.
Up in the viewing area, Bulma and Pu'ar especially were horrified that Yamcha of all fighters was being demolished so easily, and Rōshi could only watch as a nervous bead of sweat rolled down his bald scalp.
"He's unusually fast…" The Kame-Sennin muttered, witnessing the battle for himself.
"You think he's fast?" Gokū innocently asked, surprising Rōshi even further.
"The Mummy might have a speed advantage over Yamcha, but he's not that fast," Caulifla added, tracking the battle with ease. "I wonder what tricks he'll have up his sleeve?"
Back at the battle, The Mummy delivered a heavy chop to Yamcha's head, causing him to stumble over and fall over the edge. This caused the spectators to all gasp in unison, but the bandit was quick to grab the ledge. Looming over Yamcha, The Mummy simply chuckled darkly and retained his ever present smirk.
"Get up," The Mummy ordered. "It's no fun if the fight ends so soon."
Yamcha hefted himself back onto the platform and assumed his fighting stance once more. "Geez," he groaned. "You'd think that a salt-shriveled carcass would be slow, but lo and behold."
"You seem better at insults than fighting," The Mummy jeered. "If this is the best you got, you might as well give up now."
Yamcha launched himself forward and curled his knuckles for his trademark attack. "Rogafufuken!"
Taking the visage of a wolf, Yamcha clawed and kicked at The Mummy with newfound speed, but it was not enough as the gauze-covered man casually dodged each attack with ease. The bandit followed up with several knife-hand jabs, but The Mummy slid underneath the barrage and kicked at his feet, upsetting his balance, but fortunately landing on the platform. The Mummy counted on this and leaped upwards before falling back down, knee aimed directly at the fallen bandit's gut. Yamcha gasped out in pain as The Mummy stood up. Seconds passed before the downed bandit made a quick sweep at The Mummy's legs, upsetting his balance and sending him over the edge. Everyone looked at this with surprise, Baba included.
"Forgive me," Yamcha apologized sullenly as he looked over the edge. To his surprise, The Mummy simply grinned, and suddenly a roll of gauze unfurled from his arm and wrapped around one of the demon tongues serving as the arena. He then swung to one of the walls above the lake of acid and vaulted upwards, landing back on the arena.
"Sneaky move pal," The Mummy commented. "Gonna stoop to any trick to win, won't ya? Well I hope you're ready for the consequences!"
Immediately The Mummy's perpetual grin fell to a frown and he assumed a fighter's stance that mirrored Yamcha's.
"Uh-oh," Gokū hummed. "He's about to fight seriously."
"Y-You mean he wasn't before?!" Kuririn stammered out at his friend's observation.
"He hasn't bothered to assume a fighting stance up 'till now," Caulifla added. "Not to mention that smile of his is gone."
The Mummy immediately launched towards his opponent, launching a left hook square at Yamcha's jaw, sending him reeling, but The Mummy did not let up, and followed up the punch with a swift knee to the gut and a furious axe handle to the back of his head. Yamcha buckled at the pain he was dealing with, but The Mummy picked him up by the scruff of his gi and held him aloft over the edge.
"So, you gonna cry uncle, or melt in acid?" The Mummy asked, his original grin returning in full force.
"I… I give," Yamcha croaked out, earning an even toothier grin from The Mummy as he threw his opponent into the mouth of the demon he came out of. A minute passed before the disgraced bandit hobbled his way up to the viewing area.
"Yamcha!" Pu'ar screamed as he floated over to his wounded partner in crime. "Are you alright?!"
"I'll be fine," The bandit waved off as he coughed, still reeling from the knee to his gut especially. "Sorry guys."
"Hmph. We may need to re-evaluate what we're up against," Rōshi sagely suggested. "Well, our best options now are Gokū and Caulifla. ...Speaking of which, where are they?"
The group looked around to find where they went, only to see them in a corner in a heated discussion, followed up by a quick game of rock paper scissors, to which Caulifla won. She stood up promptly and saw the group looking at her and Gokū with confused faces.
"What?" Caulifla asked in an accusing tone. "We were figuring out how to balance our fights out so we each get a fair share."
"She'll go first for the next round and a half," Gokū elaborated.
"Uh, a round and a half?" Rōshi repeated.
"You'll see!~" Caulifla winked as she approached Baba. "I'm up next."
"Well, I appreciate your gusto kiddo," Baba commented, offering a crooked smile. "Though I doubt you'll put up a better fight than the bandit over there."
"Caulifla, don't do this!" Upa pleaded. "You've done enough here!"
"Ease up buddy," Caulifla dismissed. "I got this one in the bag."
"She's right," Gokū nodded in confirmation. "She'll win this one easily."
Caulifla smirked at her friend's vote of confidence as she raced down the stairs. Moments later, she emerged in the arena, doing some quick stretches to warm up. The mummy then barked out in laughter.
"You're kidding right?!" The Mummy said in between laughs. "This little pipsqueak is my next opponent?"
"She's gonna die," Kuririn muttered in despair.
"I wouldn't be so sure Kuririn," Muten Rōshi retorted. "The Caulifla we knew before would likely fall, but after training with Master Karin…"
"She has this one no problem," Gokū said with an earnest smile. "Trust me on this one."
"Alright, let's get this fight underway!" Baba announced, prompting The Mummy to settle into a comfortable stance, all while Caulifla simply stood there, the only movement being wrapping her tail around her waist.
"Alright Bandages, your move," Caulifla invited, folding her arms casually. "Unless you want me to go first."
The Mummy said nothing in response and settled into a comfortable fighting stance. Taking note of his diminutive opponent, his confident smirk faltered into a look of bewilderment. 'That's weird…' The gauze-wrapped man thought. 'She's acting so casually, but her guard is air tight. And yet I feel… small…'
"I'm waiting!" Caulifla called out, slightly tilting her head to the side.
Baba's impatience began to mount as well. "Come on already!" The old crone snapped. "Stop standing around like an idiot and get on with it!"
"Alright!" The Mummy shouted. "You asked for it!"
With a mighty roar, The Mummy charged forward all while Caulifla stood in place, smirk ever present. She did not even bother to raise her arms to block and The Mummy landed a solid hit to the girl's gut, sending her bouncing across the narrow arena. The spectators, barring Gokū, all gasped as The Mummy proceeded to kick Caulifla around like a ragdoll, her not making any motion to block or rebound. With one final kick, Caulifla was knocked against the forehead of one of the demon statues and fell face down in a heap.
"Heh! Too easy!" The Mummy boasted, pleased with how easy the fight was won. "I don't know what I was even worried about!"
"Losing consciousness counts as a loss," Baba chuckled evilly. "Foolish to send a mere child into this fight."
"S-She didn't even try to defend herself…" Yamcha stammered, seeing the girl who once beat her so easily, fall even easier to the opponent he had just lost to.
"What kind of plan was that?!" Lunch snapped. "Letting herself be bounced around like tha… aaaah… AaaaaCHO!" Lunch's hair turned navy blue and her demeanor shifted from harsh to sweet. "Excuse me."
"She's just testing the waters," Gokū answered as he watched the fight. "She's fine."
"Fine?!" Kuririn shouted.
"Hey! If you're awake, say something!" Baba ordered in a mocking tone. No response. "Well?"
"Did you just stand there and let yourself get pummeled or something?" The mummy jeered with raucous laughter.
"As a matter of fact, I did.~"
The Mummy gasped in surprise as Caulifla pointed one finger in the air and her voice carried no sign of pain or fatigue. With one swift motion she propped herself up onto her fours and stood up to face her opponent once more.
"Like Gokū said, I was testing the waters," Caulifla elaborated. "Probably won't do that next time, but I wanted to give it a shot. Now what say I take my turn?"
Caulifla's smirk deepened as she pulled her fist back and let loose a palm strike in the air, followed by a mighty shout. The kiai barreled towards The Mummy and the cannonball-like gust of wind hit him square in the gut, causing him to grunt in shock and fall over. Moments passed before the girl walked over to poke The Mummy to see if he was still alive, and to her satisfaction, he was, and was very much out cold.
"Well, that was easy," Caulifla shrugged. "So, should I haul this guy back to his sarcophagus for another century or two of sleep or what?"
Baba only grumbled quietly to herself as her third champion was defeated with a single blow, and this girl was none the worse for wear after the pummeling she received. Two skeletons emerged from the opposite demon's mouth to pick The Mummy up and carry him away, leaving Caulifla ready for the next opponent.
"S-She didn't even touch him," Lunch stammered, seeing what the little monkey girl had done.
"She likes to use a kiai whenever her opponents are weaker than her," Gokū explained, a proud grin adorned on his face. "A lot less dangerous than letting her punches do too much damage or firing something like the Kamehameha."
"Well that makes me feel a lot better," Yamcha sarcastically commented, not happy that he was easily bested by the same technique a few months prior.
"This is actually quite unprecedented," Rōshi commented. "I never figured Caulifla would be so powerful on her own, even for all she have going for her. Now it makes sense how those two were able to dismantle the Red Ribbon Army so easily."
"She and Gokū are that strong?" Bulma asked. "Well, at least I'm not training to fight them."
"Speaking of which," Yamcha interrupted. "Why didn't you tell me you were training with Muten Rōshi?!"
"Hey, it's not all peaches and cream with this old perv!" Bulma angrily retorted. Her choice in words caused the old hermit to chuckle, and said chuckle caused the lavender-haired genius to stare daggers at the bald master before turning back to Yamcha. "Besides, after you went gallivanting about West City and flirting with every woman within a 50 mile radius, I needed to get away from the likes of you!"
The odd couple began to devolve into a heated argument while the remaining spectators did their best to ignore the raucous debate.
"So, 2 more guys and we get that divination, right?" Caulifla asked the crone floating above.
"Oh don't take this next fight so lightly girl," Baba retorted, her usual smile now contorted into a frustrated frown. "You'll get yours. Alright! The 4th champion! Come forth Devil!"
From the opposite demon's mouth emerged a tall muscular man with black spandex and bat wings on his back. His face was blue and adorned with a sinister grin unlike the cocky smirk The Mummy showcased before, and atop his head were two large horns that curved slightly backward. He stepped up and folded his arms, smirk deepening to reveal fangs in his dental work. At his backside was a thin barbed tail, fitting for any denizen of Hell.
"I swear I'm in a Halloween special or something," Cauliifla muttered, analyzing her opponent.
"She's bringing out The Devil already?!" Rōshi exclaimed. "He always served as Baba's right-hand man! So who's the final champion…?"
"Alright, Begin!" Baba exclaimed, signalling for the fight to commence.
Immediately The Devil leaped into the air, aided by the wings on his back, causing some of the spectators to cry fowl, but Caulifla dismissed their grievances and simply smiled.
"I hope you're ready to take a visit to my place!" The Devil exclaimed with a sadistic smile. "I always enjoy having guests in Hell!"
With a mighty shout, The Devil dove towards Caulifla, but she saw this coming a mile away and feinted backwards, followed by a swift vault of her legs, kicking the demon man in the chest and sending him across the arena. Everyone except for Gokū was surprised by such an effortless counter, but The Devil was now fuming as he rubbed his chest where he had been kicked. Caulifla relaxed and simply smirked.
"I give."
"WHAT?!" Everyone screamed out in unison, fueled by several different emotions. Surprise, anger, despair, just to name a few.
"I said I give," Caulifla repeated, deftly leaping up to the viewing area and unraveling her tail. "It's Gokū's turn."
Suddenly, it became clear to Muten Rōshi what they meant by 'round and a half.'
"Thanks!" Gokū nodded as the two bumped fists and the spiky-haired boy leaped down onto the arena, not bothering to take the stairwell. Once he landed on the stone tongue, he wrapped his tail around his waist, ready to fight.
The Devil was left absolutely speechless while Baba was trying to form a coherent sentence but only spat out nonsensical babble until she finally recomposed herself and smirked once more. "Alright, but you do realize you wasted a fighter here," She explained as she turned towards the arena. "Show no mercy, Devil!"
"Of course, M'lady!" The Devil politely complied, smirking once again.
Immediately he charged at the boy, clawing the air in the hopes of injuring him, but missed every time as Gokū dodged each attack with ease. One sweeping low kick forced him to spring upward, but Gokū's arc was going over and behind The Devil. Once he landed, he used what momentum he had from the fall to launch himself into a charge and land a swift left hook onto The Devil's face, knocking him over the edge. With a swift pivot of his center of gravity, he began vigorously flapping his wings to reach the platform once again and landed, completely out of breath.
"Heh heh heh… You think… That'll be enough… to stop the DEVIL?!" The demon man boasted in between breaths.
"Nope!" Gokū nonchalantly answered with a smile. "I was just testing you."
"T-Testing me?!" The Devil stammered out in disbelief.
"This 'Devil' Dude doesn't seem like much!" Kuririn commented from the sidelines.
"I'd like to see you fight him then," Caulifla suggested with a smug grin, only for Kuririn to backpedal on his comment.
"Caulifla's right," Rōshi added. "The Devil is a two-time champion of the Tenka'ichi Budōkai. It's just that Son Gokū here is that much better."
Baba, meanwhile, was beginning to grow fed up with the shenanigans of this fight. "Devil!" the old witch shouted. "Stop goofing around and give it your all!"
"Of course, M'lady," The Devil sighed to recompose himself. "I'll end this with my true power."
The Devil proceeded to place his index and middle fingers onto his temples, looking as if he were to try some mind control technique, but this was not to be so. Gokū held his guard up despite his confusion.
"Even the most sweet-faced goody-goody two-shoes has a tiny drop of evil in them," The Devil explained, his smirk deepening to further pronounce his fangs. "This move will take that drop, no matter how small, and make it grow, and grow, until you're blown to bits!"
"OH SHIT!" Rōshi cursed as he realized what The Devil was about to do. "It's the Beam of Evil! He's seriously planning to kill you!"
"E-Ease up Devil!" Baba hastily ordered. "You don't have to go that far!"
The order came too late as The Devil thrust his fingers forward and a coiling beam shot out, impacting Gokū and surrounding him in a static aura, all while The Devil cackled madly.
"That's it!" The demon cheered in between insane cackles. "Let that evil in your heart grow, and grow, and EXPLODE! HAHAHAHA! BOOOM! Booom…! Haha... Uh… Boom?"
The aura entrapping Gokū fizzled out with an inglorious poof all while Gokū looked around him even more confused than when he began.
"Was that it?" Gokū genuinely asked, no err of mockery in his tone. "A light show and poof?"
"T-This can't be!" The Devil stammered in pure disbelief. "No one should be immune to my Beam of Evil! There has to be some evil in you to exploit, damnit!"
"What is this child…?" Baba questioned, seeing the sole survivor of her right-hand man's ultimate technique. "His heart has to be either that of an infant, or an animal!"
Everyone in the spectator wing cheered, relieved that Gokū survived, all while Muten Rōshi breathed a sigh of relief.
"Either that boy's mind is pure, or positively blank," Rōshi commented, relieved that one of his top students lived through that. "Well, he's alive regardless. Lucky I wasn't in the crossfire."
"Why? Don't want to see how innocent you are?~" Bulma jeered with a knowing smirk.
"I'm working on it, damnit!" The Kame-Sennin retorted with a snap.
Meanwhile in the arena, Gokū held his guard up, waiting to see what sort of fast one his opponent will pull now. The Devil recovered from his dumbstruck stupor and worked fast to conjure a plan of attack, as well as a barbed trident out of thin air.
"Alright!" The Devil shouted in fury. "I'm gonna have to do this the old-fashioned way!"
Immediately The Devil started attacking Gokū with precision attacks with his trident, now narrowly missing as it was clear the spawn of Hell was more proficient with a weapon in hand.
"Hey! No fair!" Gokū cried out as he worked to avoid the jabs and swipes of The Devil's trident. "Since when can he use weapons?!"
"I didn't say fighters couldn't,~" Baba cheekily answered.
"Gokū, heads up!" Caulifla shouted from the spectator wing as a large curved blade started spiraling towards the boy. He immediately caught onto what the plan was and smirked. With one swift grab of the blade's hilt, he brought it down onto The Devil's trident and cut the barbs clean off the pole.
"Thanks Caulifla!" Gokū nodded as he tossed the blade to the Demon's mouth behind him. "Now we're back on even footing! You're getting serious now, so I'll get serious too!"
Gokū launched himself into a kick aimed directly towards The Devil. Before anyone had time to register what had happened, The Devil was lodged into the wall behind the demon statue, which had a large chunk of its head missing. Everyone was dumbstruck at how fast Gokū pulled that maneuver except for Caulifla, who was pleased to see her friend fight.
"Uh, heh heh, oops," Gokū meekly chuckled as he scratched the back of his head. "Probably should've dialed that down a bit."
"D-Did he just…?" Yamcha began to ask but could not finish the sentence as he was too stupefied as to what had just happened.
"I didn't even see that move," Rōshi commented, several nervous beads of sweat now rolling down his scalp. "Me of all people, I couldn't even track it…"
"That was awesome!" Kuririn exclaimed, seeing how easily his friend ended the fight.
"Probably could've done with a kiai yourself buddy!" Caulifla commented, but could not hold back the smile she was wearing.
"The next guy should probably be an absolute chump if these guys are any indicator!" Bulma cheered, eager to see Gokū take home the gold.
"Hmph," Baba grunted. "I will admit you're the first group to make it this far, but you haven't seen a warrior like my last champion…"
Baba began to chuckle with an evil smirk as she rubbed her hands together with sinister glee.
"Now the time has come! The time for…"
"Me."
Out from the shattered demon mouth was a short old man wearing a swirl-patterned orange tangzhuang with a white trim. His face was completely obscured, barring what appeared to be the ends of a bushy mustache, by a strange cat mask, and he wore a simple cap with a cotton ball on top, complete with a ring halo floating over his head.
"Hello," The man politely greeted with a wave of his hand.
"Huh?" Gokū humed with absolute bewilderment. Of all the opponents he had expected, this was not it. Regardless, he decided to return the gesture. "H-Hello."
"You're kidding me, right?!" Kuririn exclaimed, just as confused as the rest of the group. "That's Uranai Baba's ace in the hole?! He's got this in the bag!"
"I wouldn't be so sure, Kuririn," Caulifla retorted. "Yamcha's opponent looked like a generic thug, but easily had the speed advantage."
"Madame Crone?" The old man called out with a clearing of his throat. "If I may, I would like to fight this boy, no holds barred. Could we perhaps switch back to the outside arena? I will fight better there."
"Hmph. I don't see why not," Baba shrugged as she motioned for the spectators to return outside.
The group soon filed out of The Devil's Cesspool and back outside, where they saw Checka having a friendly conversation with one of the ghosts and Gebo with several more birds on his shoulders than before, and a small cup of bird seed in one hand.
"Hey guys!" Bulma exclaimed, earning the attention of the two as they waved cheerfully, Gebo being more cautious with his motions, as he did not want to spook the birds perched on his shoulders. "The last fight is gonna be out here again."
"Oh?" Checka hummed. "I wasn't expecting that."
The two former Red Ribbon operatives followed the group out to the arena, eager to see Gokū put on a good show. The boy in question, however, seemed off about something.
"You alright Gokū?" Caulifla inquired, wondering what's gotten into her friend. "You're not hungry again, are you?"
"No, it's not that," Gokū answered honestly. "Something about the smell of this guy smells… nice."
"Maybe he has some cologne?" Caulifla guessed, looking at the supposed 5th champion who was talking with Uranai Baba.
"No, I'm not sure how to phrase it, but his smell… reminds me of home."
"Weird. I don't smell it, and I've seen your home."
"You guys are weird, you know that?" Kuririn added, earning a confused look from Gokū and a mildly annoyed look from Caulifla.
Further back, Muten Rōshi was just as puzzled as Gokū was, emphasized by the stroking of his facial hair.
"Muten Rōshi, sir, is something wrong?" Yamcha inquired, seeing the old hermit lost in thought. "You haven't said anything for a bit."
"He's probably worrying too much about Gokū's guaranteed win!" Bulma suggested with a smile. "He's got this in the bag!"
"That's not it," Rōshi said, disproving Bulma's hypothesis. "Something about the masked champion's voice is oddly familiar. I feel like I met him before, but I can't say for certain. Regardless, I sense he is quite powerful. A master even."
"Him? Powerful? A master?" Yamcha repeated, having a hard time believing Rōshi's words.
"He doesn't look like much of a master to me," Bulma added, seeing the old masked man.
"Did I look like a master to you when we first met?" Rōshi retorted.
"Point taken."
'What is it about you that I'm missing?' Rōshi asked mentally. 'My sister wouldn't have you slated as the final champion unless he was skilled and powerful. Unless… No, it couldn't be. ...Could it?'
The Mummy - Bandages The Mummy
The Devil - Spike The Devil Man
Devil's Cesspool - Devil's Toilet
Beam of Evil - Devilmite Beam
A/N: It's a wonder there were no skeletons to fight in this arc. Anyways, HOO boy! 'Nother chapter for the books! Nothing much to say beyond anecdotal stuff, since these fights were more or less like they were in the manga, barring Goku and Caulifla's little agreement to split the fight with The Devil. Who is this mystery fighter?~ (Answer should be blatantly obvious to anyone who has read/watched OG Dragon Ball.) Hope this was a fun read, and do leave a review sharing your thoughts. :)