So we almost got evicted AGAIN. We've been paying our rent so I don't need flack about that, and advice is pretty much useless at this point because the case has been going on for years and is its own unique kind at this point, but god! It's so annoying! I got all of my stuff out of the house the night before the constable was supposed to kick us out (which he had already almost done four days prior) only for the court system to finally wake up and tell us we had two more weeks before the court date to decide what happens! So now we're all in Limbo (until tomorrow; two weeks are up) as we wait to find out if we get to move everything back in and never worry about our douchebag landlord again, or if we have to sweep out the rest of our belongings and all look for a new place to live. What a disaster. It wouldn't be so bad if we'd actually gotten NOTICE, but the courts conveniently forgot to notify anyone on our side, including our lawyer. Yeah. We're pretty sure the landlord is paying people under the table.

Hoo, rant over. Sorry.

Moving on, I drew Nanako and Kyou again! Their mid-tier outfits turned out nicely! They might end up being their final-floor clothing as well depending on how lazy I get. I'm not good at designing outfits, so I might quit while I'm ahead.

Oh, this part's not important but I'm excited about it anyway. I just wrote like 3k more words on my original story! Putting it at 9k total, heh. Haven't made a breakthrough on that in a little bit so that was nice. It's going to be a WHOLE lot longer (it's in its infancy right now) but every little bit helps! Can't believe I wrote that much in one sitting though.

Okay I swear I'm almost done talking about life before the chapter (normally I do that on Playing by Ear, not Game Sync). I'm finally quitting my job at Dollar General! Good freaking riddance. Wal-Mart isn't exactly a big step up, but there is a pay raise involved so I'm excited. My orientation is tomorrow and I'm putting in my two weeks at DG today.

Last thing, you know what the first thing I did was after getting news about maybe being evicted? Started recording the Abzu LP. There were some technical difficulties so I didn't get to do it all in one go, but the first episode is on youtube now! Just search for Kalimar Nakanak (that's me) and the LP should hopefully be there. It's nothing special, but I'm excited about it.

Chapter 21: Recovering

Klein had an arm hooked under my own to keep me upright and a hand on Kirito's shoulder to guide him, gently leading us away from the crowd. Sachi followed close behind, unsure of what else to do.

I felt dead inside. And outside, to be honest. Every so often my avatar would quit listening to me and go limp, dead-weighting on Klein before my mind would connect to it properly again. God, I hated being sick.

Kirito looked as dead as I felt, most likely so unsure of how to handle the situation that he just wasn't handling it at all.

This is what I'd been trying to prevent. I may not remember real life, but I was sure that this was something I'd specifically been sticking by the Black Swordsman for. I was a failure of a person.

I couldn't see Sachi, as she was behind me, so I couldn't gauge her emotional state, but I could assume that it was bad. This was all very bad.

"You all have teleport crystals?" Klein checked in once we were away from the crowd. Funnily enough, we were in an abandoned alleyway. Jeez, Klein. That doesn't look sketchy at all.

I checked my inventory, before nodding. "I've got one."

"I used my last one to come here," Sachi quietly admitted.

Kirito blinked, finally tuning back in to the present. "I have several, Sachi. I can share."

"Okay, good. The rest of the guild is on the highest floor, so…I guess I could ask them to come down here," he mused, scratching his stubble, "but if everyone has teleport crystals then a change of scenery would probably be good. Come on."

When I opened my eyes after teleporting, I was in my room. At home. In real life. Blinking away the initial confusion at the change of location, everything that had happened caught up with me.

"Oh my god," I whispered, finally allowing the tears to come. "Why'd it have to happen now?"

I had so much on my plate. It was 2020, and the world was basically ending. I mean, not really, but still. Sleeping had become an escape, but now Aincrad was depressing too.

Well, I'd just have to work to make it better.

I devolved into a coughing fit.

Okay, fine. I'd work to make it better after I got over covid.

Time passed. Klein was gracious enough to take the remains of our guild under his wing for a good couple of weeks before he felt we could be left to our own devices. In that time, things changed.

First off, I'd finally gotten over being sick. At last I could fight without worrying about losing my balance or disconnecting from my avatar mid-battle. This also meant I could quit embarrassing myself being so helpless.

Inevitably, Fuurinkazan as a whole learned all my dream-related secrets, but, well, I was never going to be able to hide those forever.

Second, Sachi decided, with my encouragement, to go down to the first floor to help at the orphanage. It would keep her safe while at the same time giving her something to do; helping others would surely help her heal, too. And, with her currently mid-tier level, she could take the children there on field trips and still be able to keep them safe outside the safe-zone. She still kept in touch, sending us messages weekly at the minimum.

Kirito trained harder than ever, pushing himself to the point of danger to get as much exp as possible. Now that I was over covid I was relieved to be able to join him in the hopes of being able to prevent him from doing something so stupid he died. He didn't talk as much, but Sachi being alive and my companionship (at least, I'd like to think my companionship was a factor, anyway) did help his mental state to at least be better than it was at this point in the anime. Despite the dangerous situations he threw himself into for the sake of leveling, he still smiled whenever Sachi sent a message or when I managed to crack a joke, weak though it was.

By the time we heard about the possible revival item, he was in a good enough place that I was able to convince him not to solo the boss to possibly revive any of the Moonlit Black Cats. It was too late for them, and deep down, he knew that.

Which brought us back to the present.

I was debating getting the revival item for myself, actually. What if my interference got Kirito killed? Since I was always nearby, I could guarantee him one extra chance of survival if I had the revival item.

I brought it up to Kirito.

"Doesn't that seem a bit hypocritical to you?" He pointed out.

"I'm thinking about the future, not the past!" I defended. "I'm talking about giving you, or someone we know, an extra chance! It only works within ten seconds after someone's died, after all." Bloop squealed in surprise at my wild hand gestures, hanging on for dear life.

"I suppose," Kirito digressed. "But if I'm not allowed to solo it, neither are you—wait; how do you know how the revival item works?"

Ah, I'd been avoiding this for…awhile, to say the least. Lying by omission was one thing, but he'd asked me a direct question. I didn't really want a lie like that hanging over my head.

"There's something I haven't been saying since this all started," I admitted. "Remember how I accused Coper of trying to MPK us the first night we were stuck in Aincrad?"

"What does that have to do with the revival item?" Kirito crossed his arms.

"The foreknowledge. Before you make any assumptions, I promise I'm not a developer. It's weirder than that. So in my real world, which is surely different from yours for reasons I'm about to say, SAO is an anime and manga." I hesitated before continuing. "You're the main character."

I had a feeling if Kirito hadn't already been sitting down, he would have fallen into his seat. "How far are we, then? How long does this last? …Did you know the guild was going to die?"

I let out a sigh, knowing I was dooming myself with what I was about to say. "The Moonlit Black cats guild were all supposed to die in the labyrinth in episode three. Even Sachi. In the anime you cut all ties with everyone and solo the Christmas boss for the revival item so you can hear Sachi's last words, but once you get it you discover it only works within ten seconds of a player's death. Um, I'm really not comfortable giving out foreknowledge that's super important. Changing things too much would make it impossible to predict our chances of survival."

I looked up, but it looked like Kirito wasn't listening.

"Kirito?"

"You knew they were going to die?" His bangs shadowed his face, and I could no longer tell what he was thinking. Nothing good, I'd expect.

That was a complicated question to answer. I knew, yes. But Kyou didn't; he barely even remembered he was in an anime, much less actual events. Kyou was me, sure, but…

"I knew. Kyou didn't." I finally decided on a short enough answer. I had a feeling Kirito wasn't going to listen to a lengthy explanation.

"Nanako, you are Kyou." He now stared me in the face. I could see anger in his eyes. "You either know something, or you don't."

Ouch.

I held my hands up in surrender. "Kyou doesn't remember anything from real life, Kirito. He only has a bit of intuition about events, nothing concrete. I swear, I've been doing my best to help this entire time!"

"Oh yeah, well that's done a lot of good, hasn't it?!" He burst out. I reeled back as if hit—I'd never had his anger directed at me before. "Keita and the others are dead! Diabel's dead! So many others from the raids are dead! What, have you been following me around so you can feel like the protagonist in some anime? Do you even care at all?!"

Each word was like a stab in the heart. Maybe he wasn't in as good a place mentally as I thought. Normally he was calmer with his anger, right? Regardless, he'd just laid all my failures and insecurities bare. It was a good thing we were still in our room at the inn; the last thing we needed was another crowd watching this.

I was no stranger to defending myself in an argument, but I never thought I'd have to against Kirito. It was hard to think straight. "I don't control where I appear when I fall asleep, please believe me! I never meant anyone any harm! I died trying to save Diabel!" I took a breath to calm myself. "When I still thought all this was a dream, I was excited, I'll admit. To meet you and Klein, to be able to play this game. But now it's my nightly reality. People are dying, new traumas are happening every day. My goal, even on the first night, was just to spare you as much pain as I could."

"Maybe I don't need you to do that for me. I'm not a child."

Uh, actually—

Kirito continued before I could finish the thought. "You can get that revival item on your own, Nanako. You've got powers, right? Use them."

With that, he left the room, presumably to find a field to let off some steam in. Maybe to visit Sachi.

I felt…alone.

"Bloo-plulu?" Bloop bubbled, reminding me I still had him.

"Thanks, Bloop. He'll come around, I hope. No one likes to find out their life is someone else's entertainment, and he has the right to his feelings. It's gonna be awkward when I appear wherever he is if we don't resolve this before I wake up, though."

I slumped, before looking at the time. It was almost midnight. I better get going if I wanted to get that revive item.

Ugh, soloing with my stats was going to be a pain.

Maybe Klein wouldn't be averse to helping? But if this went anything like the anime, he'd have to hold off the other guilds going after the item…with the boss having such a sought-after item drop, it was sure to be more of a competition than the floor bosses were. I'd probably be killed on sight, even mid-battle if anyone followed me in.

Jeez, I probably should've invested in a cloak.

My current outfit was a somewhat flashy green ensemble, with lighter green trim around the edges. Dark green boots, elbow-length, lime-green fingerless gloves, a lime tunic, a dark green sleeveless coat, and black shorts (I drew the line at skirts. You would not find me fighting in a skirt) made up my outfit. Between that and my bright, tri-colored hair, I was hard to miss.

Maybe that was why I kept dying as Nanako…

While we were on the subject of appearances, Kyou's was much more dull. The main theme was still green (can't resist my favorite color), but it was much darker. The brightest part of the outfit was the green scarf, which was a cheerful, springy hue. Contrasting this were black fingerless gloves, a dark green shirt, and darker green, somewhat baggy pants, which were tucked into knee-high black boots. Metal armor covered his shoulders, chest, back, knees, and hips. Dark green painted cat whiskers completed the look. If you couldn't tell who he was by the scarf, the whiskers were a dead giveaway. Still, his blond hair was slightly less noticeable than my own blonde, pink and purple, so he had that going for him I guess.

None of this changed my need for a cloak, but I wasn't too sure how to get one at this point. Going to public places had gotten harder than ever after our very public damnation from Keita, so finding a shop was out. I wasn't the best at networking, either; my friends list was limited to those I could trust with my double identity/dream secrets, since my name would change or disappear depending on whether or not I was asleep.

I sighed. There was no way I'd be able to solo the Christmas boss. My speed was fantastic, my defense only slightly less so, but everything else was…not great. Bloop would probably do more damage than I could. The boss would certainly have a hard time killing me, but it would be slow going.

But enough introspection. It was nearing Christmas (here in Aincrad, anyway. Irl it was still August. Weird, right?), which was supposed to be spent with friends and family. Well, mostly family, but that wasn't an option for most of the players here, and friends were more important to me anyway.

Maybe I could shoot Klein a message? Aside from Kirito and Sachi (who were likely spending time together at the moment, ruling them out), he, Agil, Asuna and Argo were kind of my only friends in Aincrad. It was depressing, but considering most people tried to kill me for sport due to my non-permadeath it was dangerous for me to try to make more.

But Klein was probably spending time with his guild. He'd done enough for us recently; he didn't need me butting in and taking up even more of his time. (Kyou would disagree, but he could just deal.)

Having nothing else to do, I drafted a message to Kirito.

[Hey Kirito. I know you're probably still mad, and I'm not going to ask you not to be, but it's going to be really awkward if I reappear by you when I next end up here if you're still mad at me.

[I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. Most of the time we've been here wasn't actually shown in the anime—Everyone's trapped in Aincrad for the first fourteen episodes. The first episode covered the first day. The second episode covered the first floor boss, and the third episode covered the Moonlit Black Cats and the Christmas boss. Obviously, the time skips between episodes are astronomical. So all those other things that happened—literally every floor between the first one and the meeting the Cats—weren't shown, so the subject never came up.

[I should have told you about their fates, I'm not even going to try to wiggle my way out of that one. Kyou really doesn't remember anything though. He just gets deja vu when something from the anime happens.

[Obviously, keeping things from you was a mistake, and I want to fix that. So, what do you want me to tell you about the future? I'm nervous to tell you anything important, lest things change, but I suppose this is my olive branch to you.]

"That look good, Bloop?" I asked the indigo blob on my shoulder.

Bloop bobbed in an approximation of a nod. Patting him as a reward for his cuteness, I hit Send.

I could only hope Kirito had the patience to read it.

A/N: Not super proud of this chapter, but I wanted to write so I did. This was the result. Sorry about having so many angsty chapters in a row. I'll fix that…soon?

My reasoning for having them fight is that, in my honest opinion, Kirito and I used to not be so different. I'm a bit more boisterous and extraverted now (came out of my shell when I started working customer service), but I would hate finding out my life was a story for others' entertainment. Which is ironic, considering I write self-inserts. Since Kirito's not necessarily in a good headspace at the moment, he reacted negatively. The other reason is that siblings fight, (even psuedo-siblings) and so do people who spend a lot of time together. It was bound to happen eventually.

Also this chapter I did the stereotypical describe-the-outfit thing that's normally done when introducing characters. I'm kind of proud of the designs I came up with; they're very Me (that is to say, green and gaudy), but still seem like they could show up in SAO. I wanted to show them off, I guess. Speaking of, I'll post the drawings to tumblr as soon as I get them scanned in! They'll be on my writing tumblr, kalimarswriting.