Wicked Game

by LonelyStargazer

Since her engagement to Ciel was cut off, life has been uncertain for Sarah Wakefield until she becomes a Silencer for the Queen. When tragedy strikes, she is forced back into the life of her ex-fiance. Things that were once sure are now uncertain. Though, one certainty is she will never be the same, if a demon butler has any say. Slow burn SebastianxOC. Rated M for future content.

24. His Butler: Domestic

Author's note: Hello, lovelies! I hope you and your loved ones are staying safe and healthy.

Look who's back (and much sooner than I had predicted)! At least there's one good thing coming from this pandemic.

As always, I want to thank you all for taking the time to read this story. I've poured my heart and soul into this and it means so much that there are people out there who are enjoying it. And a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed: kaaeiful, AmiThePanda, mong77, lisabann, WickedlyMinx, Aleta Wolff, Manon, darkangelynn5, sndlr, ThePsychoBeauty, and Sanne schouten. Your reviews help to breathe life into my creativity and help validate all the time and effort I put into this story. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So, without further ado, I give you chapter 24. I hope you enjoy this glimpse inside a happy day in Sarah's life. I had a blast writing it. Thank you all again for taking the time to read this and if you enjoyed it or have questions or theories, feel free to follow, favorite, or leave a review. I love interacting with my readers. Also, if you want regular writing updates or enjoy Kuroshitsuji content, you can also find me on Tumblr as wicked-game-black-butler.

Thank you again. Please stay safe and healthy out there.

Chapter 24- His Butler: Domestic

Drip. Drip.

My brows furrowed at the echoing sound. Slowly opening my eyes, I stood, stunned as I gazed into the vast void that surrounded me-black, consuming, and endless.

"Where am I?" I wondered aloud, my voice echoing back to me with eerie repetition.

With trepidation I stepped forward, freezing once more at the distinct splash that answered my movements. Rippling rings expanded from where I stood and vanished out of sight as they glided along the otherwise glasslike surface. Strange. I thought as I glanced towards my feet and reached down, curiously rubbing the hem of my nightgown between my fingers. More ripples disturbed the shallow depths of the water which was the same onyx as the expanse that encompassed me.

As I stood aright, I released my hold on my skirt and rubbed my fingers together to confirm the subtly unnerving conclusion I had reached but moments before. They were somehow dry.

"What an odd place." I whispered to myself.

Knowing there was nothing more I could do now but press forward, I continued my journey into the void, my way lit by the dim, sourceless glow that reflected off the surface of the water. My body was drawn tight in anticipation, every muscle tense, like that of a rabbit who is poised, ready to flee at the first sign of a predator. The only sounds that disturbed the deafening silence were those of my splashing footsteps and the continual, echoing drip sounding from the distance. However, with each step I took, my gaze darted to and fro, unable to shake the feeling that I wasn't alone. My skin crawled. I could almost feel the gazes of the unseen eyes roaming my body. I was being watched.

Still, no one emerged from the darkness and I continued forward unhindered. For how long, I couldn't be sure. There was only the suffocating, directionless void.

"Sarah." a soft voice called, piercing through the silence, its tone pleading and helpless.

I stopped, waiting with bated breath, my chest tightening as I cast uneasy glances about me in an attempt to locate the voice's origin. Slight waves brushed against my skirt and ankles as a gentle breeze began to blow. Several moments passed, but the voice never spoke again, though that did nothing to mollify my anxiety. Though, as I continued to pause, torn between action and inaction, I could not shirk the gnawing conviction that the voice, whomever it belonged to, needed me.

So, against my better judgement, I answered, "Hello?"

Nothing.

My shoulders drooped when the only response was the echoing return of my own voice, surprisingly disappointed that no one had answered. However, as I made to continue what, seemingly, would be an endless journey, the same voice sounded once more.

"Sarah?"

Wait. I thought, my racing thoughts halting as I whipped around to get any sight of him. I know that voice.

"Ciel?" I called, rushing toward what I believed to be the direction of his voice.

Pausing once more, I tucked my hair behind my ears as I strained to hear any response over the wind, which now aggressively rushed around me. I widened my stance in an attempt to solidify my footing against the howling wind and the tempestuous waves it created. Please, my mind begged as I brushed some hair away from where it had blown over my face, please answer me.

"Sarah!" Ciel cried, his voice loud enough to be heard over the chaos, "Help me! Please!"

"Where are you?" I yelled, turning about and racing towards his voice once more, which had now come from behind me.

I ran, chasing his voice this way and that, my attempts becoming more frantic, more desperate with each plea that fell from his unseen lips. I couldn't, no- wouldn't let any harm come to him. I had made a promise to protect him and I never broke my promises.

"Sarah!" Ciel cried again, "Look out!"

I whipped round to the right from where his voice sounded just in time to see the monstrously large wave which rushed towards me. It towered above me, its curling, gaping jaws opened wide before it crashed down, swallowing me whole. My limbs flailed about in a fruitless effort to pull myself from the clutches of the blindingly dark undertow. Instead, I tumbled, feet over head, the wave tossing me about as if I were a mere rag doll. And, even though I had discovered that, much like I had realized this water would not soak me through, it would likewise not drown me, it did nothing to ease the disorientation and distress of the moment.

As swiftly as I had been trapped by the wave, I found myself released from its swirling depths. I groaned and clutched my head, my stomach roiling as I attempted to stop the nauseating, tilting spin of my senses.

"Sarah? Is that you?"

The sound of Ciel's soft voice was somewhat sobering and I shot to sit up from where the wave had lain me prostrated on the ground. I blinked several times to clear my double vision, my head spinning anew from my hasty movements and my right arm shot out to steady myself as I keeled toward the ground once more. My hand splashed as it hit the ground and my heart sank within me, realizing we were still trapped in this eldritch dimension. My only consolation was I had finally found Ciel.

After a few more moments, my vision finally righted and I cautiously rose to my feet, realizing as I stumbled that I was still a bit unsteady on my feet. All my unpleasantness was forgotten, however, when I saw Ciel's frail figure standing but a few meters before me, his appearance stirring a maternal impulse within me. Though he stood with his back to me, I could see the blood and dirt that ominously caked his tattered nightshirt. Scratches and bruises littered the ghostly pale skin of his arms and legs.

"Yes, it's me." I breathed as I rushed over to his side, the echoes of the sloshing water filling the air with a jarring cacophony in the wake of my haste.

I gently grasped his thin, bony shoulder and came to face him as I soothed, "Don't worry yourself. I won't let anything harm-...,".

The words died within my throat along with my breath, unable to wrench my gaze from the gaping, bloody hollow where his right eye should have been.

Placing a trembling hand on his other shoulder, I gave a shuddering breath, my voice barely above as whisper as I asked, "Ciel...what-...?"

"Sarah," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he cut off my question. His bottom lip quivered as he looked up at me. His left eye opened wide in terror, tears spilling down his thin face, while blood trickled from his right eye as he continued, "I have made a terrible mistake."

I knelt before him, giving his shoulders as reassuring of a squeeze as I could.

"I don't know what mistake you speak of, but on my honor, I will keep you safe. I swore once before to protect you and I swear it again."

Ciel's face contorted at my words, his hopelessness laid bare before me as he replied, "You don't understand. It is too late. You can't protect me."

I opened my mouth to object, but was cut off when Ciel gave out a pained cry, his eyes widening in renewed terror as his gaze focused on something behind me.

"It's too late," he whispered, his body going rigid underneath my hold, "He's here."

I swiftly turned round, shielding Ciel as I pulled him into my arms and held his trembling body against me, preparing to face whoever intended on harming him. Before us a doorway had appeared, the dim light bathing the ornately carved jasper hued doorposts in an foreboding glow. I clutched Ciel closer to me, attempting to overcome the tremors that shook my frame, instinctual fear seizing me as dark tendrils emerged from within the doorway. The wisps expanded, sliding along the doorway and outwards, stretching and twisting as they blindly groped about for some unseen prey.

However, my attention on the threatening movements of the tendrils was soon lost as, from the center of the doorway, the mass of swirling, inky mist began to thicken. My eyes ached as I gazed into the amassing void, which was somehow even more devoid of light than our surroundings, the writhing and pulsating mass dimming what little light there had been. A deep sound echoed from the void, something akin to a sigh and a growl, and my blood ran cold. From the darkness, two eyes appeared, almost feline in appearance save for the hellishly red glow that lit them, before something of a smile split open the otherwise shapeless mass, flashing a fang toothed grin.

"Yes," the void spoke, its voice distorted, yet somehow uncannily familiar, "I have been waiting for this day."

I jolted, my body tensing as I took a sharp breath, my eyes snapping open as consciousness mercifully wrenched me from the grasp of the ominous nightmare. My heart raced within my chest, the thrumming of its frantic beat pounding in my ears. It was only a dream. I reminded myself. It was only a dream.

I started once more as a thud sounded from the foot of my bed and my attention snapped toward the direction of the sound, the gun I had instinctively grabbed pointing there as well. A heaving sigh of relief escaped my lips and I slipped my gun back under my pillow as I realized the source of the disturbance was not a threat of some sort, but rather Minerva. I must have knocked her off the bed when I awoke.

"Sorry, Minerva." I breathed, offering an apologetic smile to the feline.

She seemed none too amused, her eyes narrowing as she gave a long yowl of disapproval before reaching forward, her claws digging into the grooves of the wooden floor as she arched her back to work out the lethargy of slumber from her lithe form. Mindlessly, I watched as she righted herself and soundlessly leapt onto the small bedside stand, expertly maneuvering about the washing basin to sit by the window. Once she was settled I rolled onto my back, letting out another long breath as I ran my fingers through my disheveled hair.

What a dream. I thought as my gaze traced over the shadows the tiny cracks in the plaster ceiling cast in the faint blue light of the early dawn. What could it have meant? I wondered, before shaking my head. It was a dream, nothing more. And, no matter how unnerving they might be, they didn't mean anything. So best not to give it any more thought. Besides, I wasn't a superstitious person who would give any weight to the nighttime conjurings of my mind. Though, if that was the case, a small voice in the back of my mind whispered, then why couldn't I shake the uneasy feeling that there was somehow some truth to it?

I gave another pointed shake of my head as if that alone would rid my mind of the nagging thought. It would be best if I relaxed and tried to get more sleep with what little remaining time I had before I would need to rise. So I slowly closed my eyes, the bed frame creaking as I shuffled in an attempt to find a comfortable position. My chest swelled and sank with each measured breath I took, the tension that remained in the wake of my dream gradually abating with each exhale. Though several minutes later, I glanced at the clock on the mantle and realized with a groan of disappointment that, despite it only being half past four, sleep would not find me again.

I huffed, flinging my blankets aside in an undignified display, still somewhat miffed at my body's insistence on consciousness, and swung my legs over the side of my bed to sit up. From the window, Minerva gave a chirp and slid her head behind the lace curtains, her tail flicking back and forth, something outside having caught her attention. I chuckled softly and shook my head as I rose to my feet. At least the distraction would keep her from weaving between my feet while I made myself presentable for the day.

My assessment had only been moderately correct. When I was but five minutes away from finishing my routine, Minerva had decided she was no longer entertained by her unattainable quarry and leapt down from her perch, quickly joining me with a loud meow that signalled she was more than ready to venture downstairs. A few minutes and several hushed "I am almost ready" reassurances given in response to insistently vocal meows later, I took one last, assessing glance in the mirror before turning to where Minerva sat expectantly by the door.

I shook my head in amusement as she came to stand once she realized my intent, and glanced down at her, the lock grinding and clicking as I turned it.

"You really are an impatient creature sometimes. Aren't you?"

She slipped through the doorway with a grateful meow as soon as it opened wide enough for her to pass, eager to be free of my quarters, though I wasn't far behind. I closed the door with a soft click so as not to disturb the others and turned to find Minerva waiting at the top of the stairs. Wordlessly, I followed her lead as she descended the narrow servant's stairs, the clicking of my heels against the steps fading as I pondered what I would do with the extra time my sleeplessness had afforded me.

My duties since becoming Housekeeper had not changed as drastically as I had first assumed they might. With the lack of household staff, Mey-Rin still required my assistance with tending to the daily upkeep of the manor: the washing, dusting, mending, polishing, and general tidying. This was in addition to the new duties I had taken on. As soon as Ciel had announced my promotion, Sebastian had been all too eager to pass on the responsibilities of maintaining the linen closet, larder, meat safe, coal safe, and wine cellar and also acting as a confidant to the other staff to me, stating that he didn't have the patience for such things and that he felt I was better suited for the task. Though, to his credit, he still assisted with maintaining the household financial records and, despite his position as butler, had taken on more than his fair share in regard to the manor's upkeep. He said it was to help compensate for the shift in responsibilities. I was convinced it had more to do with the fact that he preferred to deal with the other servant's mishaps as little as possible.

My relationship with Ciel had shifted as well. Before I had merely played a consultative role in their investigations, seemingly kept at arm's length, never trusted enough to be privy to all the details of their cases save when my involvement was an absolute necessity. However, in light of my promotion and disclosure regarding the events of Italy, it seemed that hesitancy was all but gone. I now accompanied them on all of their investigations, following them wherever our discoveries led us.

A soft smile lit my face as we descended the last flight of stairs, memories from our recent Parisian adventure flitting through my mind's eye. Her Majesty had requested Ciel investigate into the affairs of a wife of a prominent French diplomat who was having an unfavorable effect on some outspoken members of Parliament. It was her hope that we would acquire damning evidence on his wife's less than fidelitous behavior, which could be used to pressure the diplomat into silence. To do so, the three of us traveled to Paris in disguise as a family of French nobility.

The investigation had been a particularly amusing ordeal, but no one seemed to relish in the whole display more than Sebastian. He found Ciel's flamboyant show of child-like affection toward us laughably farcical. Though I could not fault him, given the majority of the investigation Ciel held onto my hand, his eye wide, his long lashes batting as he gazed up at us with wonder, his uncharacteristically quiet voice lilting "ma mère" and "ma père"-a noxiously sweet display which was most unlike the Earl Phantomhive I had come to serve. That night when we were resting on a return ferry to London, Sebastian had not ceased in goading the young boy, insisting he should abandon his life of aristocratic villainy to pursue a more fitting career in the theater. It would be understated to say Ciel had been less than amused with his butler's assessment, choosing to spend the remainder of our travels back to the manor in obstinate, disgruntled silence.

I chuckled at the memory, an irrepressible smile spreading my lips as Minerva and I stepped into the lower hall. My smile widened, my heart lifting as the rich, herbal scent of cooking sausage wafted from the kitchen down the hall, knowing full well that either Sebastian or Tanaka was already hard at work, tending to the preparation of our breakfast with care.

Not for the first time since I came into service I found myself astounded it had taken me this long to find somewhere I could truly call home. Home was where there was love...protection...safety...belonging. With a past that was not above reproach, it seemed only fitting I should find my home, my true home, amongst the misfits of the Phantomhive servants. We were a breed apart.

For the first time in what seemed like ages, I felt the stirrings of hope inside me. Not because my time here had been without care or my future certain-misfortune had brought me here and my future seemed anything but certain. We had yet to find Father. The Queen had yet to appoint a new Silencer. I was still crushed by an insurmountable mountain of debt. Yet, despite those daunting uncertainties, I could not shake the conviction that everything would somehow be alright. And if I was incorrect and my hope a fool's wish, I had a new, faithful family to stand beside me. While they may not be able to divert the storms I would have to face, they would be a balm to soothe me in its wake.

My sentimental musing was abruptly interrupted when, instead of turning toward the servant's entrance, Minerva momentarily halted, her ears pivoting to the right toward a sound I could not hear, before bolting down the hallway, her destination clear-the kitchen.

"Minerva!" I hissed, taking off after the feline with little regard to my dignity. "Minerva, come back!"

I had been scolded on more than one occasion by Tanaka for allowing her into the manor, who sternly reminded me to think of the young master's allergies, and I did not care for another tongue lashing from the House Steward, especially not at this hour.

I huffed in exasperation as she disappeared into the warmly lit room with a loud meow of greeting. Well, I thought as I stopped just short of the kitchen's entryway, pausing a moment to straighten my skirts and give my sleeves a correcting tug, retreating now would only delay the inevitable. I should face my punishment and have it over with.

Though, as I emerged from the hallway, which was only lit by the cool light of dawn, my ears perked as over the sizzling of the sausage, Minerva's purrs could be heard along with something that could only be described as fawning. Sebastian stood beside the stove with his back towards me having already scooped Minerva up in his arms.

"What a pleasant surprise, my dear Lady Lillith," he cooed, seeming so enraptured he was practically purring himself, "It would seem Sarah has misbehaved and let you in again. Though I wouldn't criticize her. After all, who could resist such brilliant green eyes and such soft, soft fur?"

I stood, befuddled, by the scene before me. Though I couldn't pin down which I found most distracting: the relief at the realization that I had stumbled upon Sebastian rather than Tanaka; Sebastian's ludicrous behavior, as this was the closest display I had ever seen from the butler which could have been described as 'affectionate'; or the warmth that had slowly begun to smoulder within me at the realization that Sebastian's tailcoat currently hung beside Bard's aprons, which allowed me to relish the rare sight of his form from behind. My eyes trailed down his tall frame, this proving to be my greatest distraction, my gaze appreciative as it traveled from his shoulders to where his waistcoat accentuated the tapering of his waist just above his firm rear.

I bit my lip, willing myself to look somewhere, anywhere but his alluring form, but I found I could not. Since Lord Willoughby's ball last week, his presence alone called to me, tempted me like he was a siren and I a poor, helpless sailor. The kiss we had shared that night had only added fodder to a flame I so desperately wanted to squelch. To desire Sebastian so was imprudent. We were servants and as such, we were not permitted to explore such desires. To love, to lust. However, with each passing day, every touch, knowing glance, and subtle smirk caused my feeble resolve to crumble ever further. Despite my better judgement, I wanted Sebastian-to feel him, to touch him, to taste him as I had that night. Such a revelation frightened me. For one person to have such undeniable sway over me was petrifying, yet I wanted him all the same.

"My, you are up rather early."

Sebastian's voice sobered me back to the present. I blinked, clearing my throat as he approached me, Minerva contentedly curled against his chest.

"It is nothing. I woke and found I couldn't sleep any longer, so I decided to venture down and make myself useful."

His brow creased in a slight frown at my words, clearly not convinced by my reassuring grin, his gaze thoughtful as he scratched between Minerva's ears before prodding, "I would hope it was nothing unpleasant that caused you to wake."

I shook my head, fully aware of what his knowing look meant.

"It was a dream, nothing more."

"Very well," he paused, removing the pan full of sausage from the heat, frown not easing as he gave me another assessing glance, "Since you are here, I would welcome your assistance with preparing breakfast. We all have a long, taxing day ahead and I want to assure everyone is properly fed for such."

I nodded in acknowledgement, doing my best to conceal my chagrin. If Sebastian was using such words to describe the allotted day ahead, I was worried what was to be expected of us.

"My lord and I will be out for a majority of the day to evaluate the performance of the estate's farms." he continued, "So I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to tend to some of the cleaning which was neglected in the winter, plus the gardens are in an embarrassingly unkempt state."

He paused again as Minerva interrupted with a needy meow before nuzzling her head underneath his chin. At this, his cheeks dusted with pink, and a light, almost musical series of chuckles escaped his lips-the sort of chuckle one gives in response to the attention of an overly affectionate child. My eyes widened at the sight as his lips spread in a shockingly genuine smile. I had seen many expressions upon the butler's face, I'd even seen grins and more than my fair share of smirks, but never a smile, not one like this. The effect was breathtaking.

He gave another chuckle, another wave of purrs rumbling from Minerva as he scratched underneath her chin with a long, slender finger, before turning his attention back to me.

"I will review the list with you before I wake my lord. For now, if you could retrieve the tomatoes and mushrooms from the store room and start on kneading the bread dough," he said, nodding toward the cloth covered bowl on the large preparation table which sat in the center of the kitchen, before continuing, "I will only be a moment."

Taking this as my cue, I followed behind as he passed by and made his leave, he turning to the right, I to my left as we entered the hallway. An amused smile tugged at my lips, shaking my head at the constant stream of adoration from Sebastian that echoed up the hallway. It would seem that the butler would never cease to surprise. I had seen him snap men's necks without a second thought. He would flirt, sometimes rather overtly, without an inclination of any sense of shame. One look from him would reduce the other servants to trembling heaps in their fear. Yet all it took was one glance from a mere cat and he melted, reduced to a mush of effervescence which rivaled even Lizzie.

I paused, the keys clinking where they hung from the lock in the store room door, glancing down the hallway when Minerva gave another loud meow. The heavy door groaned as Sebastian pulled it open, pale blue morning light filtering through the open doorway to bathe the two in a soft glow.

Sebastian sighed as he stepped out, gravel crunching beneath his feet as he cooed, "Oh, you flatter me, my dearest one."

"Oh dear." I sighed, shaking my head once more as I unlocked the door, attaching the keys back to my waist, and entered the store room.

It took no time at all to locate the drawers for the tomatoes and mushrooms, thanks to my previous reorganization of the room, and within minutes I had returned to the kitchen where they were then washed and prepped for cooking. Setting down the knife I had been using, I cast a wary glance over to the covered bowl that sat just a few steps down the table. Why, I wondered, had Sebastian asked me to work on the preparation of the bread? I had never made bread in my life. I had spent enough time around Bard to know the basics: the ingredients, something about the proper temperature of water or else the dough wouldn't properly rise, kneading, rising, then kneading again before the dough was baked. But I hadn't the foggiest as to how to do so. Surely Sebastian knew that?

Or, my expression soured at the thought as I placed the knife in the sink, washing my hands before returning to the preparation table, he did know and that was precisely why he was asking. Ever since I had come into service, Sebastian had not tired in finding amusement in jibing me whenever a moment arose which showcased my ineptitude regarding certain daily tasks as a result of my noble upbringing.

My frown deepened as I removed the thin cloth, glowering down at the swell of dough. Yes...that was the more likely of the two.

"Oh my," Sebastian's voice interrupted, announcing his return.

I turned my attention to him, my frown not lessening as he sauntered towards me, amusement dancing in his eyes, an all too familiar smirk on his face.

"When preparing bread, one typically kneads the dough rather than appearing like they are considering murdering it."

I sighed internally, my frown disappearing as I mustered every ounce of self control to keep from rolling my eyes at him.

"It would help if said person knew how to knead dough."

He stopped to stand across from me, folding his hands behind his back as a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes spread his lips, before bending slightly forward as he quipped, "Surely the dough should not bear the blame, should it?"

When I gave no response to his patronizing question, he chuckled softly, taking measured steps as he rounded the table.

"Would said person desire to be taught?"

"Only if said instructor promises not to be a prick regarding said person's lack of knowledge." I replied, turning toward Sebastian as he came to stand beside me, crossing my arms as my lips quirked with a smirk that mirrored his own, "Considering the lack of knowledge is through no fault of their own, I might add."

His brows raised at my slur, before giving a disapproving click of his tongue.

"Such language falling from a proper lady's lips. And a Housekeeper, no less. What do you have to say for yourself?"

My smirk widened into an impish grin at his false reproof, "I would say that I am not a proper lady, but a humble servant, good sir, and that he who is without guilt should cast the first stone. With the words I've heard fall from those lips, I believe I hardly stand condemned."

"Touche," he murmured, his eyes sparking with dark humor, "Though I have one correction to make to your rebuttal."

"And what is that?"

"I am far from good."

Before I could respond, he turned on his heel and walked toward the sink at the back of the room, his tone returning to a proper business-like manner as he instructed, "If you would, please retrieve the flour while I wash my hands."

"Yes, sir." I answered, after blinking a couple of times as I tried to recover from the abrupt change in conversation.

After having known Sebastian for over seven months, I had hoped I would have adjusted to his elusive nature when discussing any topic that was remotely personal. It seemed each time our conversation would venture to the topic of his past, he would give an eerily cryptic answer before redirecting to something completely unrelated. As frustrating as I found it to be, I respected his desire for privacy. Sometimes there are certain truths which no one else can know. I, of all people, understood that. So I waited with as much forbearance as I could, trusting that whatever Sebastian was hiding, if he was ever ready to divulge the truth, he would do so at the proper time.

The sound of running water pulled me from my thoughts and, with a shake of my head, I turned, carefully rolling up my sleeves as I walked over to the shelves that were on the other side of the oven where baking essentials such as flower, sugar, spices, and the like were stored. I raised onto the balls of my feet, straining as I stretched to reach the large glass jar which held the flower, the glass dragging across the wood as my fingers gradually coaxed the jar forward. With one final push onto the tips of my toes, I reached to grab hold of the jar, but as I moved to do so a staying hand rested on my hip.

"You could have simply asked for help." Sebastian's voice teased as he grasped the jar with just one hand.

I wobbled as the sudden weight on my hip knocked me off balance and caused me to stumble back into the butler's solid frame.

My cheeks warmed as I reached out my hands, eagerly grabbing the jar from his proffering hand and mumbling as I slid from his hold, "I almost had it."

Sebastian's chuckle sounded from behind me as he followed me back to the table. To my relief, he offered no further comment.

"Now," he began, his voice commanding and I found myself straightening my posture as I often did before we would spar, "pinch a little flour between your fingers and dust your preparation area. It will prevent the dough from sticking."

The lid gave a quiet clink as I removed it from the jar, a little cloud of flour puffing from where my fingertips sank into the finely sifted powder.

"Very good." Sebastian approved as I spread a thin layer of flour on the table in front of me, his voice low and smooth as it sounded from behind me.

Trying to ignore the hunger his praise stirred within, I leaned forward to reach for the Ironstone bowl. However, as my fingers grazed against the rim, a gloved hand brushed against mine, Sebastian's torso pressing against my back as he grabbed it before righting us both. I opened my mouth to object to his intervention when I became keenly aware that he had not moved to correct the intimate proximity at which he stood. Rather I found myself pressed between the table and his alluring body, which melded perfectly against mine and, with a fresh flush, I realized I was beginning to find giving the task at hand my sole attention was an endeavour all its own.

Reaching around me, he perched the bowl between his fingers, turning it with a flourish before giving a pointed snap, the movement causing the bulbous mound to fall to the table with a slight thud and a poof of flour. I coughed softly, my throat tickling as I accidentally breathed in some of the powder, to which Sebastian gave no comment, choosing instead to remain silent while he waited patiently for it to pass.

"The next step is kneading, which is by far the most crucial process. If not done properly, the dough will collapse and the resulting bread will be flat and dense. To serve such a failure would be a disgrace to a Phantomhive servant." he paused, bringing both arms around me once more, gently grabbing my hands before guiding them to rest against the smooth, sticky orb.

I blanched as he rested his hands over mine, turning my head back toward him as I hissed, "What are you doing?"

"Why, I'm instructing you on the technique," he answered, his voice too innocent to be guiltless, "But if you are not comfortable with my methods, I can stop."

I stared resolutely where his hands enveloped mine, a slight frown creasing my brow, fully convinced this damned butler knew precisely what he was doing. I was in an impossible situation. Either I could sacrifice my pride and demand he stop or I could let him continue-either would be an admittance to the effect he had on me. However, a small, sultry voice whispered at the back of my mind, if I was conceding on this matter, I might as well enjoy myself.

"Nonsense," I huffed, my stomach clenching in anticipation when his fingers twitched at my word, pressing mine into the yielding mass, "Show me."

His chest rumbled against my back as he hummed, flexing his fingers before resting them over mine once more, his voice like honey as he murmured, "It would be my pleasure."

My back stiffened as his breath fanned over what little of my neck was exposed, sending a shiver down my spine, the teasing sensation stirring the steadily intensifying heat between my legs.

"Now, the technique may seem basic, however each movement is crucial if you wish to achieve the desired effect." he began, the mellifluous baritone of his voice dipping an octave as he spoke softly in my ear, "First, press forward with the heel of your palm."

As he gave the instruction, he leaned against me, gradually pushing my hips against the table as the heel of his hand pressed my own down and forward, the mound of dough giving some beneath our touch.

"Then use your fingers to grasp what you can and bring your hands back up." he paused as his fingers curled over mine, burying them in the sticky, moist warmth before righting himself, pressing me back against his frame as our hands folded the dough over on itself. At this, he leaned against me once more, my heart thrumming in my chest as I caught the edge to his voice as he added, "Again."

Silence fell between us, charged and tense, as we fell into a natural rhythm. Press and pull. Back and forth. My mind clouded over as the rich cinnamon of Sebastian's scent wafted around me, overpowering the tang of yeast, and I slowly lost awareness of all else save our undulating movements and the hunger it awakened within me. My heartbeat thundered in my ears, the thrill of treading into the unknown silencing any warning from my more rational thoughts. What we were indulging in was illicit...dangerous.

"That's it." Sebastian's voice praised, his voice no more than a gravelly whisper, the air becoming thick and heady as he gave a shuddering breath, "Feel how the mound is becoming firm beneath your fingers."

A soft gasp escaped my lips, my eyes widening when, as we pressed forward on the the dough once more, an unmistakable hardness pressed against my lower back. Was Sebastian...? As the sound passed my lips, his grip on my hands tightened, almost painfully so, our fingers burrowing deep into the resisting dough. My thoughts whirred sluggishly as we pressed forward once more, torn between propriety and debauchery.

Yielding to such desire was forbidden. If Ciel happened to venture down and discover us, he could give us our notice immediately and he would not be in the wrong, our current behavior dishonorable among those who considered themselves part of polite society. I could demand he cease his salacious behavior. I could storm out in righteous indignation. I could finally put our depraved game to an end and save myself.

However, as his arousal pressed against me, a darker part of my thoughts reminded me that what Sebastian had awoken in me was something that, in spite of the risk, had been one of the most liberating and genuine experiences of my life. Any other pleasure paled in the wake of the carnal force of how it felt to desire him and be desired by him in return. To hold such power over someone who was otherwise so poised, every movement calculated...to see, to feel that composure crumble, giving into insatiable hunger was intoxicating.

"Sebastian."

My voice wavered as I softly called his name. As soon as his name passed my lips he froze as if he had been struck by lightning so I took this chance to slide my hands from underneath his. As I turned to face him, he took in a sharp breath as my hips brushed against where his arousal tented his trousers, and I could not conceal the smirk that quirked my lips at the sound. I savored the view before me as my gaze slowly wandered over his body-the slight heaving of his chest, his full, parted lips, the faint beginnings of a flush that dusted his cheeks, his slightly disheveled hair. Though the most captivating of all were his eyes, which glowed an entrancing crimson in the morning sunlight, rather than their usual warm russet hue.

"Sarah." He sighed, the enraptured solemnity with which he uttered my name bordering on reverence.

His finger curled underneath my chin, angling my head up towards him as his left hand snaked about my waist before resting on my lower back and pressing me against him. We both closed our eyes and I waited in earnest expectation as he leaned forward, our breath mingling from our nearness.

From down the hall a sudden, gonging of a crash sounded that made us both visibly jump, followed by Mey-Rin's distressed wails. Both struck me with painful soberness, relief and frustration swirling about in a confusing cacophony in my mind. I cast my gaze down, not daring to look at the butler as I ducked underneath his arms to slip from his hold, though, despite only having a passing glance, I had caught enough of the murderous flash in his eyes to know I should be the one to assist the other maid in whatever conundrum she had managed to create.

"I will see to Mey-Rin." I announced, my words tumbling over each other as I quickly wiped my hands on the cloth that had been covering the bread.

"Very good." Sebastian answered, though his voice hadn't fully recovered to his typical poshness, "I will finish in here."

I nodded in acknowledgement as I rushed from the room and hurried down the hall toward the scullery. I quickened my pace when another loud crash echoed against the walls, doing my best to set aside the events from just a few moments ago to focus on the crisis at hand. If I had any luck, Sebastian would treat this encounter as he had all our previous ones and he would never speak of it. My eyes widened as I rounded the corner of the entryway to the servant's hall to find the floor covered in water. Oh good heavens, I hoped he wouldn't. I thought as I gathered my skirts to keep them from getting wet as I splashed over to the room that was the epicenter of the chaos. I couldn't handle much more today...and I hadn't even had breakfast.

/

I huffed, tucking some loose hairs behind my ear before grabbing the linen basket and the large washing tub with a grunt. Ciel's freshly washed bed linens and the spring curtains fluttered subtly from where they hung on the line, the pleasant late morning breeze carrying the refreshing scent of soap across the courtyard. The washing tub's rope handle creaked and groaned, voicing my own strain as I slowly shuffled my way from the courtyard, round the corner of the manor, and to the servant's entrance. I sighed, struggling to maintain my balance, as the weighty sloshing of water in the bucket knocked me further off course every time it nudged my leg.

My concerns regarding today's workload had been correct, Sebastian's warning of a full, lengthy day bereft of any exaggeration. While he and Ciel were out surveying the estate and its assets, we had been tasked with the daunting list of: washing the bed linens and winter and spring curtains, cleaning the chandeliers, weeding and pruning the gardens, conducting inventory on the store rooms, cleaning the hearths, and polishing the silver. Such a feat might have been possible if the entirety of the staff were present, however, with Sebastian's absence and Mey-Rin having gotten sick during breakfast, there was no feasible way for us to accomplish everything on his list.

I gave a heavy sigh and wiped the sweat from my brow, my shoulders sagging as I watched the water from the overturned tub swirl about the scullery sink. It was barely past eleven and my body was already heavy with exhaustion. Dinner couldn't come soon enough.

I left the tub on its side to allow it to finish draining before retrieving the linen basket and making my way to the servant's stairs. My mouth dipped in displeasure as I shook my skirts, attempting to keep the damp fabric from sticking to my legs as I ascended the staircase, noting that the next time Sebastian and I were discussing the manor's expenses, I should request we splurge and purchase one of the new Excelsior bench wringers. The tub wringer that was currently in use was cumbersome and, no matter how much care the operator gave in working the machine, it somehow managed to deposit as much water on the surrounding area and the person operating it as the washing tub.

As I came to the floor with our quarters, I turned toward the right, knowing it would be wisest to begin with Bard and Finny's room. Despite none of us having much to our names, these two somehow managed to present a new, unique cleaning challenge each time I tended to their quarters. My nose wrinkled as soon as I opened the door and entered, the combination of decaying must and stale cigarettes most revolting. Dropping the basket to the floor, I rushed to the window and wrenched it open, closing my eyes as I basked in the fresh air that flooded into the room. Honestly, how could the two of them live like this? The stench that pervaded their room was so pungent, I was shocked none of us had noticed it before. I took in a couple more deep, cleansing breaths, begrudging the thought of abandoning my refuge of untainted air.

"Well, there's no sense in stalling," I mumbled to myself, turning about to face the sparsely furnished room, casting a cursory glance about to see if I could locate the source of the offending odor, "The sooner I begin, the sooner I can be done with this disgusting business."

So I set to picking up the clothing that was strewn haphazardly across the floor and on the beds before beginning to strip their beds to the mattress, careful to remember that Bard probably had a new stash of pornography under his mattress. As I pulled his sheets away, I reached out as soon as I heard the flutter of the photographs, catching the lecherous pictures before they could drift to the floor and tucking them away in the drawer of his bedside stand without so much as a blush. I had seen enough to be immune to the modest shame it had provoked the first time I had unwittingly stumbled upon his explicit collection.

It only took a couple of steps towards Finny's side of the room to realize the young gardener was the curator of the repugnant odor, though locating the source was another matter entirely. My nose wrinkled, my expression souring as I glanced down at the scraps of cheese, dried meat, and bits of hardened bread that fell to the floor as I stripped the linens from his bed, all of which had clearly gone bad some time ago. Though, for as unpleasant a discovery as that had been, I quickly realized the spoiled food was not the true source and, though I preferred to give everyone the most privacy living in such close quarters could allow, I had been left with no choice but to search through his things.

"Oh, good heavens, Finny!" I huffed as, five minutes and the discovery of two moldy jelly tarts, another rank block of cheese, and a stale croissant later, I uncovered the culprit-a box stuffed against the wall underneath his bed.

I grunted and, with a final stretch, managed to pull the box from its hiding place. My stomach turned as I looked down at the disgusting mess of soil, mold, and dark, slimy mushrooms. I could only assume what I had discovered was yet another one of Finny's horticultural ventures that had gone horribly awry.

"Well," I sighed, tucking the box beneath my arm as I stood, "there's nothing for it."

I quickly scooped up the rest of the soiled food, adding it to the rotting pile before setting the box at the top of the landing. At least all this could be used for compost. Now that I could return to my original purpose, I gathered up their bed linens, depositing them in the basket before moving on, making quick work of mine, Tanaka's, and Sebastian's quarters.

Approaching the door to Mey-Rin's room, I tucked some stray hair behind my ear before rapping my knuckles against the wood in quick succession.

"Hello?" Her muted voice called.

"It's Sarah. May I come in?"

A few moments later the lock of her door clicked and the door was opened to reveal Mey-Rin, who appeared disheveled and rather worse for the wear. She was dressed in nothing but her nightgown, her cheeks lacking their natural, healthy flush and her eyes were puffy and rimmed in red as if she had been crying.

I offered a caring smile before asking, "How are you feeling?"

"Um, a little better than earlier, I suppose." She replied hollowly, gripping her arm as she cast her gaze down before falling silent once more.

I chewed my bottom lip as I gave her frame another assessing gaze, a gnawing sense in my gut telling me that something was off.

"I am collecting the bed linens for washing." I awkwardly explained when she didn't expound further on her condition, "Would you mind if I got yours?"

Mey-Rin looked back up at me, her movements slow as her gaze followed mine to look at the mound of blankets that were bunched up on her bed.

"Oh, yeah," she mumbled absentmindedly before stepping aside to allow me inside, "Sure."

I gave her another pleasant smile as I passed her, setting straight away to gathering her blankets and sheets.

"I have a spare blanket in my room if you would like to borrow it while you wait for yours to dry." I said, not looking back as I used the bottom sheet to gather up the rest. I grunted as I tugged on the heavy, makeshift sack, adding, "Would you like me to get it...for...you?"

My question died off as I turned around to find Mey-Rin tucked close to her dresser, her bottom lip trembling as her eyes glistened with tears.

"Oh, Mey-Rin," I soothed, coming over and wrapping a comforting arm around her trembling shoulders as I gently led her over to sit on the bed, "What is the matter?"

As soon as the words left my lips, the tears that had been welling up in her eyes spilled over and she gave a strained cry before she buried her head in my shoulder, her body shaking with sobs. I wrapped my arms about her, returning her embrace, and rubbed small, comforting circles on her back. I had enough experience with Mey-Rin's emotional nature to know I should let her cry her emotions out, attempting to speak to her before then would be fruitless.

Several minutes later her sobs subsided to mournful hiccups, but she still maintained her tight hold on me, her voice muted against my shoulder as she stuttered, "Oh, Sa-Sarah. You're going to...to think me a righ' ol' fool."

"Now, I don't know that it's all that bad." I reassured, leaning back to encourage her to look at me.

At my movement, she moved to sit upright once more and wiped her eyes, her nose and eyes red from her fresh tears.

My lips spread in a comforting smile, giving her arm a gentle rub before I prodded, "So what has you so troubled?"

"I-...," she started before faltering. I waited in patient silence and, after a few, shaky breaths, she began again, "I think I'm pregnant."

I stared at her in dumbfounded silence, my eyes searching hers as I tried to make sense what she had just said. My brows furrowed as her confession echoed in my mind. Certainly I had misheard her. Surely she wasn't pregnant. She had told me before that she and Bard were diligent in ensuring they were...careful.

A few moments later when I had finally found my voice, I cleared my throat before asking, "Is there a particular reason you suspect this?"

"Well," she mumbled sheepishly, a faint dusting of pink coming to her cheeks as she looked over at her dresser, "there were a couple of times a few months ago when we, uh...didn't stop in time."

"Oh." I lilted, my brows raising as the implication of her words sank in.

At this, she held her hands up in anxious defense, words falling from her lips in a hurried jumble, "I swear those times were accidents. Things jus' happened so fast. He pulled me into the scullery and we just...Sometimes he jus' gets so worked up and such that he was done before there was time. His-...,"

"That's quite enough." I interjected before she could divulge more about the cook's sexual performance, my cheeks burning as I held up a staying hand. Good heavens, it was going to be some time before I wouldn't have that image in my head every time I ventured to assist with the washing or dishes.

"Now," I continued, trying to ignore the tense knot of discomfort that was currently twisted in my stomach, "I am sure you have more than just these two," I coughed, my throat suddenly dry, before continuing, "accidents to found your suspicions."

She nodded.

"Yes. I've been getting sick mor' than I ever have. I can hardly keep my food down. I'm always trying to keep from nodding off, but I'm too tired. And it's, uh….it's been awhile since I've had my monthly."

"How long?"

"Three months."

Her answer hung in the air, the weight of her confession silencing us both. Though I didn't have the medical knowledge to know with certainty that she was with child, everything she mentioned were symptoms Angelina had shared with me when she was pregnant...before the accident. I stared down, unseeing, at the floor as I became lost in thought, chewing on the inside of my cheek as I pondered the few options we had, none of which had a happy end.

"Sarah," Mey-Rin said, her voice small as she reached over and urgently clasped my hand, "what am I going to do?"

My gaze met her's, unwavering as I answered, "Honestly, I am not sure. Though I believe keeping a level head right now is the most important thing. There is no sense in fretting needlessly until we have the facts. I will phone Lady Dalles and request she come out to give you a proper examination. She is the only one I trust with such a delicate matter." I paused, my tone becoming grave as I continued, "I am sure the implications of this situation are not lost on you. If anyone were to even insinuate that one of his lordship's maids was with child, an unwed maid at that, the Phantomhive name would be sullied by scandal."

"I know." Mey-Rin whispered, casting her gaze down to where her hand still held mine, "Will you tell the young master?"

Even though she wasn't looking at me, I shook my head before answering, "No. I do not think it necessary to involve his lordship before we are fully certain. I will speak to Sebastian about it, though."

Mey-Rin's attention snapped to me, her eyes widening as her mouth opened to object. However, I put up a staying hand before she could begin.

"This concerns him as much as it does me. Both you and Bard are under our oversight, if something disreputable occurs involving you two, we are disgraced as well."

At this, she slowly closed her mouth, her countenance falling as my words sank in. Her golden eyes glistened with fresh tears, her bottom lip quivering as she whispered, voice thick with emotion, "I'm so sorry."

"There is no need to apologize, not to me." I began, proffering a warm, comforting smile as I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, "I do not find fault in what you and Bard have done. From the passion and love you have for each other, you have brought the chance of a new life into the world. It should be an occasion for joy, not sorrow."

A slight smile tugged at the corners of Mey-Rin's lips as she wiped the few tears that had escaped her eyes with her free hand.

"But I also know many others in society will not see your situation with the same grace. I know all too well the disdain the self-righteous can have on those they deem less worthy and I would like to see you and Bard spared of such contempt if I can." I paused, squeezing her hand firmly as I continued, "But I want to assure you...you are not alone in this. Whatever comes of this situation, child or not, we shall face it together."

In the time it took me to blink, Mey-Rin pulled me into another tight embrace, her voice trembling as she spoke against my shoulder, "Thank you."

"Of course," I answered, returning her affection, "You would do the same for me."

Several minutes later, Mey-Rin's door closed behind me with a soft click and I dropped her linens on top of the mountainous heap I had previously gathered, leaving the now peacefully sleeping maid tucked comfortably in her bed with my blanket as I ventured down to the second floor.

What a day. I thought as I opened the door which led to the second floor hallway, my footsteps muted by the thick, royal blue carpet. Tonight's night cap would certainly prove to be interesting.

"Another foot now, gentlemen. Hold it steady." Tanaka's echoing voice interrupted my thoughts.

As I came to where the hall gave way to the wide grand staircase, I turned to see Bard and Finny standing opposite of me, working the pulley to hoist the massive crystal chandelier back into place. Tanaka stood watch in the ballroom below, wisely standing a good distance away from where the chandelier was suspended. I immediately halted, not wanting to draw attention to my presence just yet, and kept a watchful eye on the men. I had learned from experience that Finny shouldn't be suddenly distracted from his current task, not if the task was to be successfully completed. A broken ornamental vase had robbed both Finny and I of two months worth of wages and that was lesson enough for me.

"Ok, give me one more good pull, Finny." Bard instructed the blond gardner, unlit cigarette hanging precariously from his mouth, his brow furrowed in concentration as his eyes remained trained on the fixture, "But don't make it so sudden this time."

"Right."

Holding my breath I watched as, according to Bard's direction, Finny worked with care, slowly putting hand over hand to grasp the thick chain and pull the fixture into place.

"That is perfect." Tanaka confirmed with a nod.

At this, Bard made quick work of locking the chain in place, making sure to check its hold before Finny had opportunity to let go. My lips twitched with a slight, pleased smile as I slowly let out the breath I had been holding. At least one potential crisis had been averted.

Feeling it was now safe for me to move, I stepped toward the men, saying, "It seems I arrived at the perfect time."

"Oh, hey there, Sarah!" Finny called, waving in greeting, before following Bard to join me at the top of the stairs, "We just got done with the chandelier."

"Excellent." I replied as I gave the fixture a confirming look and turned to Bard, "Do you mind if I borrow Finny for a bit to help with the washing?"

"Nah, I can get started on the gardens without 'im." He answered, glancing at the gardner, who was distracted by watching Tanaka as he ascended the stairs, before leaning in to whisper in my ear, "Jus' to warn you, Finny was already asking about lunch when we was putting the light back together."

I frowned as he righted himself, replying in a low voice, "You cannot be serious. After that breakfast?"

"'Fraid so. Kid's like a bottomless pit."

He pulled a match from behind his ear and struck it before lighting his cigarette, adding, "And you know how he gets when he's hungry."

I sighed, knowing full well what he meant by that.

"Yes, I do." I huffed, before licking my fingers and pinching the end of Bard's cigarette.

"Hey!"

"And you know how his lordship feels about smoking upstairs."

"Fine." he grumbled, stuffing his hands in his pocket.

"Pardon me, Ms. Sarah," Tanaka interjected, our attention immediately on the elderly House Steward, "Is there anything else you wish me to attend to?"

"Yes, if you could polish the silver. Bard will begin working on the gardens. And Finny will help me with the washing." I smiled, relieved I could trust him to complete his task without needing intervention of some sort from me.

"I will begin at once." he said, giving a slight bow before turning and making his way to the servant's stairs.

"I s'pose I best be getting started, too." Bard announced as way of farewell and left as well, his hands still stuffed in his pockets as he sulked away.

"Now," I began after he left, turning my attention to Finny who looked at me with bright eyes, "Finny, you can come with me."

"Alright."

With that, Finny fell in place next to me as we made our way back down the hallway. The young man hummed a disjointed, pleasant tune as we walked together, the bounce in his step almost a skip and I couldn't repress the subtle smile that tugged at my lips at the sight. I couldn't understand why Sebastian found his presence to be so grating at times. I, for one, found his enthusiasm refreshing, so long as said enthusiasm was properly reigned in.

"I've never helped with the 'liers before. It was so much fun!" he said, a brilliant smile lighting his face, "I don't know how Sebastian did it on his own before. It's hard work!"

Finny's voice echoed off the walls of the narrow stairs as he continued to prattle on about all they had done to clean the massive fixture, seeming unaffected that I gave no real response to his words save an occasional nod or noise of recognition. Not that I was bothered by his effervescent monologue. I was more than happy to listen in contented silence while he went on about any thought that popped into his mind.

"Hey, what's in that box?" he asked, the overflowing basket of linens held precariously in his grip as he cast a curious look toward the box I held in my arms, "It smells something awful."

"It's funny you should ask. I was going to ask you the same thing. I found this when I was stripping your beds." I answered, tilting the box toward him so he could get a better look.

At first his brows furrowed in confusion, seeming as confused as I was as to what the box's contents were. However, a moment later his brows raised as his face lit up with recognition.

"Oh, those must be those mushrooms I was trying to grow! Bard said they like dark places."

I sighed, giving the offensive mound of decay a pointed look as I mumbled under my breath, "Of course he did."

"So I put them underneath my bed and I, uh, I must've forgotten I'd put them there." Finny continued, laughing nervously, his lips spreading in an apologetic grin.

I shook my head, casting him a reassuring grin as I passed by him and began descending the stairs. When I heard the echoing of his footsteps behind me, I inclined my head in his direction, calling back to him, "Though, perhaps in the future you should direct any of your botany queries to either Tanaka or Sebastian. Bard knows quite a lot about many things, but plants are not one of them."

/

"Phew! We're finally done!" Finny cheered, plopping down on the grass next to me before rifling through the covered basket that sat between us. He gave another cheer as he grabbed hold of what he had been searching for, his stomach growling expectantly as he lifted the cucumber sandwich to his lips, "Now I get to eat lunch!"

I chuckled softly, shaking my head at his dramatics. "I wasn't forbidding you from eating. The washing needed to be finished first and I couldn't have you getting crumbs everywhere." I paused as I reclined back on my elbows and cast a teasing look toward him, "You make it sound as if I was starving you."

He blushed at my words, smiling sheepishly, or at least as much as his sandwich stuffed cheeks would allow before mumbling, "I coon't 'elb it. I 'as 'to 'ungry."

I laughed when crumbs spilled from his mouth, only serving to fluster the poor boy more.

"It's fine. I was only teasing." I reassured, as I spread my legs as far as my uniform would allow in hopes it would help my soaked skirts dry faster. Sebastian would have frowned at such an unladylike display, but I didn't care. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

Wisps of clouds leisurely floated across the light blue expanse of the sky, a light breeze drifting across the grounds, gently rustling the leaves of the trees and nearby bushes. Birds warbled from their hidden roosts and as they flitted around in the sky above us. The fountain which abutted the veranda bubbled pleasantly as some of those same birds landed in its crystal clear water, their chirping lively as they splashed about to clean their wings. As I took in a deep breath, I closed my eyes as I leaned my head back, basking in the warmth of the sun and the soothing calmness of the moment, the scent of roses and soap heavy in the air.

"Oi! Not sitting down on the job are we?"

I cracked open one of my eyes, glancing toward where Bard's voice had sounded before leaning my head back and closing my eyes once more. "I would call it taking a much needed rest."

"Well, hopefully you don't mind if I join ya then." Bard teased breathlessly, a thud sounding soon after as he came to sit on the opposite side of me.

I opened my eyes and sat up, digging through the basket for one of the mugs I had stuffed in there when I was packing in the sandwiches I had made for Finny. One glance at Bard was enough to know he'd be thirsty, if the redness that colored his cheeks and the beads of sweat that plastered his hair to his forehead and trickled down his face and neck to settle in the dusting of golden blonde hair on his revealed chest was any indication. The cool tin of the pitcher was a welcome relief from the heat of the sun, the handle slick beneath my hand from the condensation that beaded there and on the belly of the pitcher as I poured water for the three of us.

"'Fank 'ou." Finny said, his mouth stuffed full with his second sandwich.

"Yeah, thanks." Bard echoed, gratefully nodding before downing the whole mug in a few long swallows. His gaze left mine to look over to where the basket sat as I filled his mug again, "What are all those books for?"

I glanced over to the stack of books that sat beside the basket as I nestled the pitcher to sit in the grass, picking up the top one before turning back to the cook, "There's a letter we found on the mission Sebastian and I worked last week and a portion of it was encoded, but I've had no luck decrypting it thus far. So I borrowed a few books from his lordship's library on cryptography to see if I could find anything useful."

"Do ya mind if I have a look?" Bard asked as he set his mug down.

A moment later, Finny rushed over, planting himself between our feet, exuberantly chiming, "Oh! A secret code? Can I see?"

"Of course." I answered, retrieving the letter from where I had tucked it under the cover of the book before handing it over to Bard, Finny shuffling to read the letter over the other man's shoulder.

"Hm," Bard hummed, a smug smile teasing his lips, his blue eyes alight with the same satisfaction as he looked up from the letter, "It's a Vigenère cipher."

I moved over to the cook's side as well, coming to sit up on my knees as I looked over his other shoulder. "Really? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, me and my army buddies used it all the time."

"He's right." Finny added, his face alight with eagerness as he looked over Bard's head towards me, "I remember seeing messages back from where...from where I came from…"

All previous excitement drained from him as his answer trailed off before casting his gaze back down to the letter. My heart sank, knowing all too well what the sudden change in mood meant for the boy.

"Would you like me to take a crack at it?" Bard asked, seemingly immune to the shift in mood, smirk still on his face as he turned to look at me, "Since you couldn't figure it out and all."

"Fine, but wipe that smug look from your face." I agreed, playfully shoving his shoulder, my stern mask cracking with a smile when he chuckled, "Deciphering secret messages is beyond my usual purview."

Bard nudged me back before I rose to my feet, jibing, "Yeah, yeah. Don't get all sour 'cause I'm better than you, so now you owe me."

"Oh, but I think you have it backward, my dear friend." I quipped as I brushed off my skirt, "It is you who owe me. Or did you forget the pheasant debacle from a fortnight ago?"

"Ah, that's right. Somethin' 'bout exploding birds sounds familiar, now that ya mention it." Bard chuckled, flashing me a brilliant smile before adding, "It'll take a bit, but I should be able to figure it out."

"Thank you, Bard. This means-...," I started, but was cut off when Bard waved a dismissive hand.

"Don' mention it. I'm happy to help."

I smiled at his response and said nothing more on the matter, turning my attention to Finny instead, who had been uncharacteristically silent. "Finny, could you help me with the washing tub?"

"Huh?" he asked, his brows creasing questioningly before he recovered and stood with a sullen, "Sure. No problem."

Bard and I shared a knowing look as Finny shuffled past us. It was never a good sign when his mood shifted like this. I kneaded my bottom lip between my teeth as I trailed behind the gardener, wracking my brain for any idea that might cheer him. Finny wasn't one for discussing his past. Distractions typically proved the most effective with dealing with these episodes.

"So Finny," I began as we worked the wringer off the tub together, "after we finish here, why don't you see if you can find Minerva?"

Any mention of the feline usually provoked a rather animated reaction from the boy, however, when I spoke her name, he offered only a weak smile, "Sure, that sounds nice."

As we set the wringer down on the lawn, I cast a look back at the washing tub, an idea sparking in my mind. I could only hope it wouldn't backfire.

My hands firmly gripped the sides of the tub as we prepared to lift it so Finny could carry it back inside. However, as we went to lift, I let go, dunking my hands into the water and flinging them up to splash him with the soiled washing water.

I froze, my heart pounding in my chest as I stared at the boy, who stared back with wide eyes, his face dripping.

"I am so sorry, Finny." I blurted, but my words were cut off, a squeal sounding from my lips instead as water unexpectedly splashed over my face.

The melodious sounding of Finny's laughter rang in the air and a moment later, what had been a scene of domestic productivity dissolved into a display of chaotic felicity. Water splashed this way and that as squeals and peals of laughter and fits of giggles filled the air.

"Ah! Wait! I surrender!" I cried between giggles as Finny chased me around the courtyard, washing tub held threateningly above his head.

As we passed by Bard, I took a sharp turn around him, snatching the pitcher from its spot.

"Hey!" he shouted just as I heard some water splash on the ground, "I'm not a part of this!"

"Whoops! Sorry!" Finny called, in fast pursuit once more.

My shoes squeaked as they slipped on the grass and I came crashing to the ground, the pitcher flying out of sight.

Finny gave a cry of victory when he saw me go down. "Hah! Now I've gotcha!"

"Wait!" I yelled, scrambling to my hands and knees, "Slow down, the grass is-...!"

As I spoke the words, he lost his footing in the same spot, before knocking into me as he fell forward. The tub fell behind him, but as it bounced, it managed to spill its remaining contents over our two prostrated forms. We both sputtered as Finny rolled off me, us both wiping the hair and soapy water from our faces. When my face was clear enough to open my eyes, I squinted up as Bard bent over me, blocking the sun as he extended his hand to me.

"You two look bloody ridiculous." he sighed as he hoisted me to my feet, though the humor I caught in his eyes lessened the blow of his scolding.

Finny and I cast each other assessing looks, the boy's clothes sticking haphazardly to his slender frame, his hair falling into his eyes in the mysterious absence of the pins he usually wore. Bard was right, we did look ridiculous. Though I was certain I was the worst of the two.

"Go on and get your sorry selves inside and into some dry clothes before you catch cold. I'll stay and take care of this mess." he chided, giving us both playful swats to our backs as we passed by him. Though he added in a whisper as I walked by, "Now you owe me."

Together we waddled up the lawn, our shoes squelching with every step as we left puddles of water in our wake. I did as best I could to pull my skirts away from my legs in an attempt to keep the heavy, drenched cotton from chaffing my thighs. Though the method seemed to be rather effective, no doubt the display of the two of us approaching the manor, soaked through as though we had been caught in a storm was quite the hilarity. The venture toward dry clothes was even further away as I realized that if we wanted to have any hope of sneaking to our quarters without Tanaka taking notice or leaving evidence of our tomfoolery behind, we would have to wring our clothes dry the best we could.

No matter, I thought, casting a glance toward Finny as we stepped from the lawn to the drive. My heart swelled when my gaze met his, a smile once again lighting his face, his eyes full of understanding, warmth, and love. Scolding from Tanaka or not, my thoughts continued as my expression mirrored his, it was worth it. I would do anything to see that boy smile.

/

The flame flickered in the gas lamp that sat on the top shelf of my desk, the silence of the office interrupted only by the scratching of the fountain pen against paper as I wrote my monthly letter to Mister Albert and the ticking of the clock that hung from the wall. Normally the butler and housekeeper would have separate offices, but when the manor had undergone renovations to accommodate a larger armory, the room which would have served as my office had been absorbed in that expansion and there were no other suitable rooms in the downstairs that could serve as a substitute. And, though I would never admit the words aloud, I wasn't upset by the development in the slightest, the joint office providing ample time for Sebastian and I to work together uninterrupted.

My desk was a small writing desk, with a couple of additional shelves attached to the top for added storage. It was the first thing that could be seen upon entering our office, as it sat against the wall opposite the entrance, so Sebastian had made it abundantly clear when it had been moved in that I was to keep it tidy in appearance. To have such a disorganized area would, in his opinion, give the servants leave to follow suit in their realms of operation and such a disorderly display was something unbecoming for a Phantomhive servant.

A fond smile came to my face as I looked up from my letter and gingerly ran my finger over the velvet smooth petals of the flower crown Finny had woven from the roses they had pruned from the gardens, a token of his gratitude for the earlier distraction. It hung off the corner of the top shelf of my desk, the coral and yellow of the roses complimenting the warmth of the light oak frame which sat next to the crown, which housed a sketch I had done of the manor. Initially Sebastian was not enthused when I had begun adding the odd decoration here and there, stating that such additions were frivolous. Though he eventually ceased his objection when I assured him they would be sparingly used and that such decoration was, in fact, rather useful as they brought a warmth to the otherwise abrasively utilitarian room. His objection hadn't been explicitly withdrawn so much as it was no longer present and its absence was telling enough, as was the fact he had not removed the framed sketch of Minerva I had placed on his desk several weeks ago.

I sighed softly as I folded the letter around the measly five pounds I was sending to the lawyer. It was laughable to send such an inconsequential payment, I thought, carefully pressing the small seal into the crimson wax before setting the letter aside for addressing later. No true progress had been made to appeasing the debt my father had left upon his death, not since the sale of my mother's jewels. All the more reason to continue my pursuit of being reinstated as Her Majesty's Silencer. Even if I was not graced once more with a title, the compensation for such important services would pale my current 55 pound annual salary. Without it I was certain to be on a deathbed of my own by the time my debts would be satisfied.

I looked up from my work when a series of knocks sounded from the doorway, interrupting my thoughts.

"Why, hello, Bard," I greeted, glancing at the clock, which read just shy of half past ten, as I turned in my seat toward the cook who casually leaned against the doorframe, "What are you still doing awake? I thought you had gone up awhile ago."

He shook his head as he stood upright and stepped into the office. "Nah, I had some deep cleaning I had to do in the kitchen before I called it a night. And," he paused as he came to stand by where I sat, extending the letter he held between his index and middle fingers toward me, "I wanted to get this back to ya."

My brows raised as I took the letter from his grasp, both surprised and impressed he had returned Lord Willoughby's note so quickly.

A smile creased the corners of his eyes, which sparked with pride, as he teased, "See, I told ya I could crack it."

"I had no doubt of your capabilities." I replied absentmindedly as I unfolded the letter, my eyes hurriedly scanning down the page for the translated message.

At this, Bard reclined back on my desk, pulling a match from his shirt pocket before striking against his boot to light the cigarette he had slid from behind his ear. Silence fell between us as he took a long drag from his cigarette. I frowned, chewing on the inside of my cheek as I read over the large printed scrawl of the cook's handwriting.

"Where the red sun rises," Bard started, exhaling a billowing cloud of smoke, before glancing down at me, "Watcha reckon that means?"

A heaving sigh escaped my lips and I dropped the letter on the desk as I began rubbing my temples. "I haven't the foggiest."

Why couldn't something be straightforward for once? My thoughts bemoaned as I dejectedly slouched back in my chair, casting the letter a resentful glare. Each clue seemed to lead to yet another mystery.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be more help." Bard said, giving another long exhale.

I looked over to him, words of reassurance on my tongue, but those words halted as the solemn look on the cook's face caught me off guard.

"I may not know what that message means, but I know that if whoever wrote it went through the trouble to hide it, that it's either important or dangerous...probably both." he paused, the hard lines of his face softening as he rested his hand against my shoulder, "An' I know you're a grown woman an' all an' you can make your own decisions. Just...just promise you'll look after yourself."

My cheeks flushed, a warm smile lighting my face at his gesture and reached up to rest my hand on his, "I promise."

A subtle blush came to his cheeks as well and a moment later he slid his hand from under mine, giving an embarrassed laugh as he stood, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well I, uh, better head on up. I'm worn out." he mumbled as he made to leave.

"Bard," I called after him, turning toward where he now stood in the doorway.

He turned to face me again. "Yeah?"

I flashed him another warm smile as I fondly added, "Thank you."

A smile spread on his face that mirrored mine, though he gave no other response than an acknowledging nod before disappearing from sight.

With that, I turned back around, my gaze immediately landing on Lord Willoughby's letter. I snatched it up, folding it back before slipping it into one of the letter slots on my desk. I would wait until tomorrow to mention it to Sebastian, when our minds wouldn't be exhausted by a taxing day, so there was no point in having the still cryptic message in sight where it would do nothing but taunt me.

/

I blinked rapidly, rubbing my eyes as I looked up from the expense log, figures still swimming in front of my eyes even when they were closed. Casting a glance toward the clock, I frowned when I realized it was a quarter past eleven. Where was Sebastian? I wondered as I closed the large book.

There was no sense in worrying about his whereabouts, a more sensible part of my brain retorted. He was probably exhausted after such a long day and retired to his chambers after attending to Ciel. There was no sense in waiting up for him.

Realizing that was the more reasonable course of action, I slipped the pen back into the inkwell and made to stand to return the expense records back to their shelf. However, a moment later I froze when someone approached me from behind and rested a firm hand on my shoulder.

In a flash, I grabbed the person's hand, spinning underneath their hold to twist their arm behind their back. The chair clattered to the floor as I shoved the person against the wall, winding them, and pressed my weight into them as the barrel of one of my guns pressed between their shoulder blades.

"I do hope this is not the typical greeting you provide to your visitors." Sebastian huffed, his voice muffled from where the left side of his face pressed against the wall.

My eyes widened and I immediately released my hold, taking a step back as I reached underneath my skirts to holster my weapon. "I am terribly sorry."

"Not to worry, it would take more than that to injure me." he chuckled, straightening his waistcoat as he turned to face me, "Though I am pleased to see your training is proving to be effective."

"Thank you, I suppose?" I replied, my answer more of a question as I watched him as he strode over to his desk to deposit a stack of papers he was holding.

My assessing gaze still watched him closely for any sign of discomfort as he sorted through the contents that had been added to his desk throughout the day.

"You should accept the rare occasion for my praise," he chided, not looking up as he sifted through the small stack of letters he had picked up, adding, "Your muscle memory has greatly improved."

I nodded, taking his nonchalance as proof enough for the lack of any injury and returned to my original task, quickly slipping the large book back into place.

"I am assuming you were preparing to retire?"

"I was," I answered, coming to stand in front of his desk as he sat the letters back down.

"Would you mind if I inconvenienced you long enough for a quick night cap?" he asked, his russet gaze capturing mine as his mouth twisted with chagrin, "The young master was an absolute nuisance by the end of the day and I admit I would rather end my time in the company of someone I find significantly less vexing."

I blinked, once again unsure how I should interpret the butler's words. Sebastian had an irksome habit of choosing his words in such a way that one couldn't be entirely sure if their intent was to rankle or extol.

Choosing to ignore either possible interpretation, I offered a smile instead as I answered, "I suppose I can indulge you, just this once. Though I shall forego the nightcap, given you want alert company."

"Very well," he nodded, placing the key to the wine closet back on its hook before navigating around his desk, adding as he passed by me, "Tired, are we?"

"Yes," I replied as I fell into place behind him, knowing without the explicit direction that I was to follow him, "You weren't the only one with a taxing day."

"Oh?"

I glanced over towards him as I came to walk beside him, his voice echoing off the barren hallway walls in the absence of the usual noises of the downstairs, as we walked the distance from our office and turned, beginning to ascend the servant's stairs. "There were just some...unexpected issues that arose which proved to be interesting."

"Hm," Sebastian hummed, turning to cast me a sideways glance, "Care to elaborate?"

Even though I knew he couldn't see me from where I followed behind him once more, I shook my head to the contrary before answering, "Not at the moment. I would much rather hear about your day."

Sebastian shot me a pointed look as we rounded the flight to the second floor and continued our ascent, but offered no other objection to my evasion of his question, choosing rather to launch into a rather long monologue as he recounted the day's adventures. Listening to him go on about their visits to the various farmsteads and the parish did not bore me in the slightest, rather I found myself smiling more than once as he bemoaned the tedium of the whole affair. Such a reality, he complained, had only served in complicating his attempts to dissuade the earl's ire, as he could appreciate his sentiment.

"For resenting being viewed as anything as an adult, the young master has a penchant for reverting back to behaving his age at the most inconvenient of times." He sighed, holding the door open for me to pass through to the rooftop.

"That is because, no matter how mature he may appear, underneath it all he is still a child and at times will be prone to childish whims."

"Indeed."

A gentle breeze caressed my face as I stepped out into the night. My gaze was immediately drawn upwards to the clear night sky, the deep velvet expanse of the heavens littered with the shimmering, sweeping clusters of stars and adorned by the moon which was suspended, large and glowing, as a crown amongst the other jewels of Nyx's cloak. In the distance, the night air swelled with the symphony of crickets and frogs, along with the occasional hoot from a nearby owl and, as I fell in stride beside Sebastian, I allowed the serenity of the moment to seep into my bones. Right now there were no ringing bells summoning us to tend to Ciel, no explosions or other sounds of impending chaos from the other servants, no threatening whispers from unseen foes. There was only us and the tranquility of the night.

I turned my attention to Sebastian, vaguely aware of what he was saying as I found myself disarmed by the sight before me. As captivating as I found him in the daytime, there was something singularly alluring about his person at night, the enveloping darkness seeming more suiting than the garish light of day. Perhaps it was the silver sheen the moonlight cast on his silken onyx locks or how it radiated off his porcelain skin and rested, glowing in his russet gaze. Or perhaps it was the subtle scent of cinnamon and musk that drifted on the breeze that made me subconsciously lick my lips and my mouth water. Whatever the cause, the effect was ethereal and bewitching.

"How he managed to get cornered by the Moseley's goat, I will never know."

My brows raised and I flinched as I finally registered the bizarre statement which had wrenched me from my thoughts.

"Pardon?" I guffawed.

Sebastian gave me a sideways glance, the subtle smirk on his lips convincing me my preoccupation with his person had not gone unnoticed and I turned my gaze to the moonlight bathed stone of the rooftop, my cheeks and ears burning as he answered, "Yes, I was inspecting the buildings of the Moseley farmstead, as my master had instructed, when he called for me. By the time I had managed to find him, he had scrambled on top of some old crates in their barn and was struggling to fend off their goat with his cane."

"Oh my," I said, a fresh peal of laughter sounding from my lips at the image, "that must have been quite the sight."

A subtle smile lit Sebastian's face as he folded his hands behind his back. "Yes, I must admit I found the situation rather amusing. He was most distressed." he paused, smile leaving his face as quickly as it had come, "However, my delectation of the situation was short lived as the event soured the young lord's mood for the remainder of the evening."

Silence fell between us once more, a slight frown settling onto his features as he became lost in his own thoughts. I clasped my hands in front of me as we rounded the corner and continued our aimless ambling. Similar to me, he had a habit of suddenly becoming enveloped in his internal musings, sometimes leaving me to wonder what thoughts were rattling about in his mind for minutes at a time, and I had learned to simply wait until his thoughts naturally returned him to the present.

After some time, when we had passed round the perimeter of the rooftop to the eastern side of the mansion, Sebastian halted, raising a contemplative hand to his chin as he looked over the ledge to the gardens below.

"Oh, I see Bard and Finny tended to the gardens."

"Yes," I answered, leaning against the ledge as I joined him, "It took them quite some time. It was dark by the time they came in for dinner."

"That is most unlike Finny." Sebastian said, his arm resting against mine as he leaned on the ledge as well, "I typically have to shoo him away from the kitchen when Bard is working on the young master's dinner or else he will swipe some food for an early evening snack."

I gave a brief chuckle, smile tugging at my lips as I glanced over to Sebastian. "I left him with a basket full of cucumber sandwiches if he found himself peckish."

His lips twitched with amusement, but he did not venture any further comment, so I added, "Which reminds me, I may have had to use what bread was available to do so."

"No matter. I will simply make more in the morning." he paused, his eyes flashing wickedly, a suggestive smirk playing on his lips as he leaned towards me, "I would enjoy your assistance, if you are free to offer it again. I found your help this morning most...stimulating."

I snapped my gaze back to the grounds, firmly training my eyes on the fountain as if the distant bubbling of the water could drown out the thundering of my heart as heat rushed through my body at the memory his words evoked.

"I think you will be more successful in your goal if I do not help." I stammered, a new flush warming my cheeks when he chuckled at my response.

"Fair enough." he said as he righted himself, though his arm still touched mine as he continued, "I must admit I am relieved it went so successfully. Last year when I charged them with the same task, we had to replace the entire southern portion of the gardens because they somehow managed to burn most of it down."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding, thankful for the merciful change in subject, though I still remained resolutely silent because I wasn't certain I could steadily answer him yet.

When I gave no comment on last year's gardening mishap, he continued, his attention not leaving me as he pressed, "Which has me curious as to what you were referring when you mentioned some unexpected issues earlier."

I chewed my bottom lip, an anxious anticipation of a different kind gripping my insides at the thought of what I was about to divulge. To do so was necessary, and I trusted Sebastian with such grave information, but that did not make my duty any easier.

Taking a deep breath, I righted myself and turned to face him as I began, "What I am about to tell you is in utmost confidence and should not be spoken to no one outside of his lordship, am I clear?"

I paused as Sebastian suddenly stood at my change in tone, his gaze piercing as his eyes searched mine.

"Tell me."

"I am certain you have noticed, as well as I, that Mey-Rin has been getting sick frequently as of late."

"Yes," he nodded, his brow creasing as he tried to reconcile my words and my tone, "but not enough that I've seen need to be concerned. What of it?"

"When I went to collect Mey-Rin's linens this morning she was very distraught and when I inquired as to why, she told me she has good reason to believe she...that she is pregnant."

A deep hoot echoed from the forest, as I gazed up at Sebastian, searching for any sign of a reaction from the butler.

However, a moment later, his expression became an unreadable mask, his tone unaffected as he asked, "Oh, is that all?"

"Is that all?" I repeated, my brows furrowing in confusion before I incredulously repeated again, "Is that all? Sebastian, I know you are not ignorant of the implications of the situation. What if someone, what if Lady Midford were to discover Mey-Rin's condition? We would be ruined! Not just Mey-Rin and Bard, but us and his lordship as well! Are you not concerned about this at all?"

"No." he stated matter-of-factly.

I blinked, surprised by his phlegmatic response. "What?"

"Outside of where it concerns my master, I am not concerned over such changeable things as reputation nor the opinion of the likes of Lady Midford. I know for certain my master would not sack me for something as inconsequential a thing as a pregnant maid," he paused, taking a step towards me, "and I assure you I would not allow him to do anything of the sort to you, either. So there is nothing to fear."

My eyes briefly widened, my heart stirring with fond warmth at his words. A grateful smile spread my lips as my shoulders relaxed and I whispered, "Thank you."

He closed his eyes, nodding his head in acceptance, his tone a little softer as he pressed, "However, we cannot simply ignore the issue."

"I agree." I said, glancing over to the forest as a high pitched screech sounded from a hunting owl, "I want to be certain that she is indeed with child. So I phoned Angelina this afternoon to see if she might be able to call on Ciel and examine Mey-Rin during her visit. Unfortunately I could not reach her directly and had to leave a message with her butler."

Sebastian nodded in acknowledgement, "I see. We shall have to wait patiently then." he paused, his gaze wandering down to the gardens once more, "I don't see a reason to inform the young master about the situation until things are certain. There's no sense in needlessly causing him any more anxiety than necessary."

My gaze followed his, returning to the fountain, where the water shimmered like crystal in the pale, milky light of the moon. "I agree. With such a delicate situation, I want to do everything to protect Bard and Mey-Rin's relationship as well. I know I would want the same if I was in such a relationship."

"But...are you not?"

My eyes widened and I started at his words, my heart leaping in my chest as my attention snapped to Sebastian.

"What do you mean?" I breathed.

Sebastian took another step forward, closing what little space there had been between us, our bodies brushing as his gaze captured mine, intense and searing. "They are mates, are they not?"

"Technically?" I answered, taking a measured step back from him. I could not think clearly with his body pressing against mine. "But you misunderstand. We are not...mates. We are friends, Sebastian."

He smirked at my words, as unconvinced by my words as I had been. Instead, he took another step towards me, closing the distance between us once more. "If that were true, then explain why you chose to kiss me at Lord Willoughby's ball last week?"

I took a step back.

"It was a diversion for the maids." I insisted, my voice shaking as a fresh flush heated my cheeks, "It was the only option. I couldn't jeopardize the mission."

He took a step forward, shaking his head as he clicked his tongue in disapproval.

"You may have convinced yourself of such, but you should know by now that I can easily see through your lies. And right now, your words are positively transparent. You and I both know there were several courses of action you could have taken, yet kissing me was the one you chose without hesitation." he reached up, curling a finger under my chin to ensure my attention was on him, "Answer me this, and I desire the truth from you this time...can you truthfully say you kissed me out of necessity alone?"

I took a step back, though this one was smaller and my leg trembled as I did so, my gaze never leaving his as I answered, "No."

He took a step forward.

"That you did not enjoy it?"

I moved to step back, but faltered, placing my foot back in place.

"No."

"That you have not thought about it since?"

I didn't move.

"No."

He reached up, curling his finger under my chin once more, his gaze slowly drifting to my lips before snapping back up to mine, his eyes glowing crimson in the moonlight.

"What about now? Do you want to kiss me? To unflinchingly surrender to the emotions which have been steadily building within you since you first came here?"

My gaze searched his as his honeyed words hung in the air. My heartbeat thundered in my ears, my breaths short and shallow, while my thoughts warred in cacophonous chaos. I should deny it. I should refuse such an offer and return to my quarters. But for what, to delay desire another day? I had reached the pinnacle of release from fantasies of the butler enough to know I could not deny that I wanted him in the most primal, gut-wrenching way possible. And I had experienced the sting of longing for his return and delight in his company enough to know that I loved him.

No, the only way I would ever be safe from Sebastian would be to leave and I should. Despite the danger, I should advertise for a different post under a new master, a new butler-one who could not ignite my body with a mere look.

However, I knew deep down that such a solution would be temporary at best. The connection Sebastian and I shared was something that transcended reason. No matter the time, no matter the space that separated us, I knew unequivocally that chance, fate, God, whatever name humanity assigned the ruling forces of the universe, would lead us together. I was drawn to him, his presence alone magnetic, drawing me to him with the intensity of a collapsar. And I was tired of fighting.

I took a deep breath, trailing my fingers up his torso, relishing as he tensed under my touch. Sebastian's hurried breath mingled with mine, his eyes sparking with voracious hunger as I snaked my hand around the back of his neck. My eyes closed as I pulled his face to mine, my lips brushing against his as I breathed, with finality and conviction…

"Yes."

As Sebastian's lips captured mine, a fleeting hesitation whispered in my mind. Loving Sebastian was dangerous. My desire uncontrollable and consuming. It was like a fire, unquenchable, an ever present threat, for such a heat could devour and destroy as much as it could comfort and please. However, my thoughts whispered in answer as he shoved me against the ledge, our teeth clicking from our fervor, our hands tangling in the other's hair, such a threat did not frighten me.

I wanted to burn.