it's my birthday and i'll be as self-indulgent as i wanna be with this present to myself.

Potential Last Names

Bobby Barge sounds better.

Chloe blinked and stared straight ahead. She was supposed to be focusing on what her coworkers were saying, but she found herself gazing at the farthest wall. Shaking off her surprise, she ran her fingers through her short blonde hair and shook her head. She glanced around the long table, her fellow agents busy with their own paperwork for headquarters' design department, their thoughts protected by mental shields.

When she found Bobby, he had his back to her and was standing a few tables away. He was pointing at a blueprint spread out a wall with a gaggle of interns standing by with their clipboards. His design seemed to be a mixture of a rifle and a chainsaw, one of his more colorful designs for mental PSI weapons. He was in the middle of explaining how it would work, and Chloe picked up a few phrases such as "channeling anger to make the chainsaw rev" and "fire off the PSI energy when the blades spin and shoot it at the same time." A few of the more trigger-happy interns beamed at the information, while others merely looked uncomfortable.

"Agent Barge, what do you think?" Agent Loughty, a portly older man, asked her. He fidgeted with his soul patch. "I think the thrusters are too large, but I'd like to hear your opinion."

Chloe jerked her head down. She followed his sausage-like finger aimed at the thrusters of the latest alpha model jet for the Psychonauts. She cupped her chin, noting they did seem too large for a proper plane. It would take longer to become invisible compared to the sleeker, older jets, and even if it was only by seconds, they were precious when it came to escaping an exploding base.

"I agree with your assertion. The thrusters are too immense. If there is an emergency takeoff, it will not seem inconspicuous as their size could possibly draw attention to the craft should the invisibility not cover it all in time," she explained, her coworkers giving her their full attention. "Though it seems like a miniscule matter, the seconds could be life or death."

Loughty nodded, a few agents at his side exchanging glances. As the senior agent of the group, he caught their indifference and asked for their viewpoints. One woman piped up that the thrusters would be faster than the older planes. Another added that the invisibility point was rendered mute depending on the cloaking technology used or the power of the agents within the plane to set it all invisible.

Chloe frowned. Their points were clearly flawed. The risks were more likely than not to cause harm to the agents involved. Even if one was superhumanly fast with their invisibility, the seconds before it fully took over were not calculable as it was an agent-by-agent basis. Depending on the enemy's psychic prowess or observational skills, they could have easily located or sensed the jet, too, and with that information in mind, she took a breath, ready to dispel their arguments.

'Call me Agent Bobby Barge.' Yeah, that sounds a lot fuckin' better than Agent Zilch.

Her shoulders twitched upwards. She twisted her head over her shoulder, her helmet tilting with her. She caught Bobby bent over a table, the interns huddling with him as he showed them a second diagram of another PSI weapon he designed. He seemed to be eagerly telling them about the intricacies of his latest weapon, his trigger finger itchy as the more unhinged interns grinned wildly, the subdued ones merely concerned.

This time, she was certain she heard Bobby's voice in her head. It was clear and firm, as if he was convincing himself he was right in a debate despite being the only participant. But the intentions behind his thoughts made her cheeks burn, and she was thankful for the tinted visor on her helmet. She fiddled with the hem of her uniform and surveyed at the other agents. They continued on with their work, and her coworkers debated, unaware of her objectivity. Bobby's mental defenses were nearly impenetrable when he remembered to raise them, so perhaps the interns and other agents at their desks hadn't heard him despite the boldness of his thoughts.

But the fact that she was able to hear them stirred her curiosity. If she had been the only one able to hear Bobby, then his defenses must have been lowered only for her on purpose or on accident. That hypothesis seemed probable, unless he hoped that she would overhear him. But judging by the concentration creasing his brow as he explained something to an intern, she wasn't entirely sure.

"Well, I don't disagree with you two, but I believe Agent Barge's claims are more likely than not to happen," Loughty remarked, Chloe snapping to attention when he mentioned her name. "With that in mind, we'll change the thrusters to a smaller design. Agent Barge, will you do the honors?"

She nodded and accepted the blueprint. Neatly folding it, she slipped it underneath her arm and headed off. It was in her best interest to work on it promptly while her thoughts were fresh in her head.

But she still had her hypothesis, and she was not going to let it go without a solution. She pivoted over to Bobby, squeezing by agents hunched over their computers and tables. She passed the interns and stood next to Bobby, her presence unknown to him as he pointed out a design flaw in what seemed to be a combination of a machine gun and a strip of knives.

"You gotta concentrate so the knives fly outta it at a high speed, right? If they're too sharp, there's a chance they'll all ricochet and stab you right in the gut, and you'll lose an astral projection layer," Bobby said, the wide-eyed girl in front of him nodding with every word. He sighed as she went back to another table, twirling her pencil between her fingers and cackling to herself.

She looked up at him, hiding a bit behind his back. She felt rather childish for keeping her presence hidden, but for the sake of her experiment, she deemed it worth it. Looking up, she focused on his expression, a hint of lethargy mingling with his scrutiny as he scanned the interns' work.

Bobby Barge, Chloe Zilch, eh, first one sounds way better. I dunno if she'd like having that kind of last name, he thought, Chloe hanging on to every word. Hyphenating it might be weird. Hell, I should probably ask her about this before I get thinkin' too far ahead of myself. I don't even know if I'm-

"Creating PSI weapons?" Chloe interjected, Bobby jolting in place and biting back a yelp.

Bobby whipped his head down, his mismatched eyes wide only to quickly relax when he realized it was her. He heaved out a breath, the corner of his mouth rising as he said, "Yeah. They're an imaginative bunch of bastards, but some of 'em just don't know how to make their designs work on a technical level." He shrugged, his batch of interns working on their blueprints. "They ain't too bad, though, so I don't gotta hover over them like some kind of grade school teacher." He broke into a grin. "Could probably ditch if I wanted to and spend some free time with you."

"But you are assigned to this right now, so you can't," Chloe pointed out, Bobby frowning. She hugged her own blueprint to her chest. "I've been tasked to fix this jet design, so I'll catch up with you later."

She leaned up and pecked him on the mouth. A few younger interns broke into sly grins, which were dashed when Bobby shot them the most hideous snarl he could muster. Chloe grinned and stepped past him, telling him they would meet up after he finished his duty, and Bobby waved her off, his aggravation towards the interns swapping for contentment.

Oh, I should mention, Chloe said, continuing to walk away from him.

He crossed his arms and leaned over an intern who was sketching a massive, cartoonish pistol. Yeah, what's that?

I think Bobby Barge or Chloe Zilch sound natural. I'm also fine with hyphenating our names. Your choice if we ever pursue a civil union, okay? Though, I'm more than ready to discuss that with you at our leisure.

The scream he emitted in her head was one that would have shattered windows had he unleashed it in the real world. As Bobby's face flushed and he sputtered, Chloe reassured him there was nothing wrong with his thoughts. Floating all the way back to her office with Bobby's laughter tittering in her head, she entertained the notion of sharing a last name with him, her smile seemingly etched on her face by the time she reached her personal work desk.