All right, finally we're here!
This chapter possibly the reason why I chose to start this story between my other ideas, and I'm so glad to make it here at last.
XXII.
Here her fucking fabulous 30th day, Amanda passed in her mind as she ran along with Rick and Daryl in the darkened corridors, the thoughts of a minute ago suddenly losing its direness as the walls beside them shook again and more plaster fell down on their heads…
What the fuck, as Daryl had briefly summarized her own thoughts.
If she hadn't known, she would've said—would've said they were under…under an artillery fire, which was absurd—absurd and terrifying as she still could feel the walls shaking—trembling.
Oh, god!
Rick opened a fire escape exit at the side of the Block, the shortest way out to the front yard, and they jumped down from the ladder, their guns already drawn out, trained downside but ready to aim at any second. Daryl had pulled out his own too as he was lacking his usual crossbow as of the moment, and Rick was already shouting at the people that were clustered beside the fence gate—
"STAY BACK—" the words boomed in the air as they ran towards the gate, the watch tower beyond was in fire, smokes and fires rising up toward the sky, "GET BA—" he stopped in the middle sentence as his body—staggering first before he regained his balance, and Amanda leapt the last step out of the corner and stopped dead, too, next to him upon seeing the scene in front of her.
No way.
No fucking way.
She—she must've blinked a few times to see better because she still couldn't believe what she was seeing—and she turned aside to look at Rick who was still staring ahead at the scene.
There were vehicles—perhaps more than a dozen of them, stationed like a half arc in front of the second fence defense line, some of them SUVs, some of them jeeps, some of them even military pick-ups, but those weren't what made everyone stupefied.
Any other time it would've been enough, even seeing that much of a vehicle and people on them, Amanda could see them like little dark dots even from afar, holding their arms up, and she knew what they also held in those arms—but still they weren't what made them stare.
No.
It was the tank—it was the fucking tank that made them stare. Today—her 30th couldn't have gone officially worse, she almost thought, but then again, she didn't want to tempt the fate any longer.
"Is that—" she spoke after a second, taking a step closer toward the fence gate, "Is that—a tank?"
"Yeah—" Rick said, as they all stared at it, Rick walking closer the gate beside her as well.
She squinted, picking up there was someone on the top of it, too, like other vehicles, but that man stood all above them now, as the tank was also in the middle of their arc—and he was standing tall and proud now over his tank, like a commander in a battle field, which most probably was.
"That man at the tank?" She turned to Rick, "Is he the sonofabitch who wanted to take the prison from you before?" she asked, because somehow, she knew—she just knew…she always knew sonofabitches.
His eyes skipped at her, as Rick held the gate between his fingers through knitted wires, his knuckles getting whitened by the force of his grip, "How did you know?" he asked back.
Amanda let out a sigh, "Just a good guess."
# # #
This couldn't be happening. This shouldn't be happening.
He's just one of sonofabitches outside there. He's not important… His own words echoed in his mind like a cruel joke, but it wasn't a joke now. Not now. It was real, as hard as their life, and here there he stood, the sonofabitch who called himself Governor—upon a tank.
A tank.
On a fucking tank.
They were all astonished looking at it—and scared…
"Rick—" Daryl slowly said as he stared, his hand still clutching the fence tightly—breathing heavily, behind him there were hushed whispers, frightened and shocked, like he was—then Rick heard the man calling at him.
"RICK!" the fucking bastard yelled up over his tank, "Come down here. We need to talk."
He shook his head, even though he knew the man couldn't see the gesture over the distance between them, "I don't make the decisions anymore—" and shouted back, "There's a council."
"I came to talk to you, Rick, from a long way around—" the man yelled again, "You wouldn't want me to come to YOU!"
After that, there was so little choice to make.
Turning aside, he shared a glance with Daryl, "Prepare the bus. If things go south, you know what you need to do," he stated firmly, swallowing lowly, and nodded at Carl. He turned to his other side then to give a look at Amanda, "Aman—" he started but she cut him off even before he could complete her name.
"I'm coming with you."
He shook his head, "No, you ain't."
"I am—"
He cut off her too, "No—"
And she did the same too, "Rick, let's not make this in front of the kids—" she warned him, taking a step closer, and hissed, "We are partners, remember?" she asked, "And I'm not sending my partner there in front of a fucking tank alone. Period."
Then Carl said, walking to them, "Dad, take her too—" he said, "Don't go there alone."
Upon seeing the almost imploring look in Carl's eyes, Rick nodded, holding Carl's shoulder, "A'right. Let's go." He tucked the gun back into his holster and Amanda followed his example.
As Rick started opening the gate, she held Beth's upper arm and gave it a squeeze as the younger girl gave her a teary look back. "Find the kids and get ready," she instructed Beth, too as Rick pushed the fence door and let her pass first and followed her out the next second.
They started walking down, and she let out a breath, her eyes at the tank. "Do you think you could reason with him?" she asked.
"We have to try—" Rick said back as they passed the bus that lay down on its side on the ground, a few yards away from the inner fence, "He's got a tank."
"Good point."
They got closer, almost towards the fence that separated them, and Rick opened his mouth, but the man shouted before him, "I wanted you to come alone, Rick!"
"So did I!" Rick yelled back, "She didn't listen!"
Beside him, Amanda let out another breathy sigh and Governor turned his eyes on her, "And who is she, Rick?" the man asked back, "Your lover?"
Amanda's face stiffened, "Sergeant Amanda Shepherd of Atlanta Police Department—" she shouted back behind the fence beside him coldly, using her best cop voice, "And I'm his new partner, not his lover."
The bastard nodded at her, "My apologizes, officer."
"So, may I ask why you're standing upon a tank and calling us?"
"I wanted to talk to your partner," he answered back simply.
Rick shook his head, "I told you. I'm not making decisions alone anymore. We've got a council."
"You'll have to make this one today—" he said in return, "You see—your council might be short of a few participants." He turned aside and waved at one of his men, and they started pulling off someone out of one of the jeeps—and Rick saw…dreadlock.
He gave out a sharp breath as Michonne, her hands tied behind her back, dropped out of the car… then they leaned forward and pulled out—Hershel too.
With a hiss, he got closer to the fence as Amanda lunged herself forward, "Let them go!" Rick called out loudly, "Let them go! I'll stand down here, and we'll talk as long as you want. But let 'em go now. You got a tank." He shook his head, "You don't need hostages."
The bastard, standing onto his tank shook his head back at him, "But I do," he simply said back, and pointed below, "This's just to show you I'm serious. Not to blast a hole in our new home."
"What do you want?" Amanda asked, cutting in, "Say it openly."
He turned to her, and gave her a little bowed head, "Yes, officer. You've got till sundown to get out of here or they die—" he stated, "Take it and go."
Go… Go where? Where else left to go?
No! There was nowhere else left.
They couldn't leave the prison. It—it was what all mattered to him, what was important. He—he couldn't let it go. They couldn't go. They couldn't try to make it out there again. It'd taken everything, everything. Not again. He—he'd promised. He'd promised to Lori he was going to keep their kids safe. Alive, safe, and fed.
They needed prison. They were going nowhere. He shook his head again. "Doesn't have to go down this way," he told the man. It didn't have to. He didn't want war. He—he just wanted to keep his people safe and alive.
They couldn't do it out there. Grey, dimly light, sickly appropriate, even with its infections, even with its killers, even with its psychopaths, they needed prison.
This—this's what's important. Our home.
Prison was their home. Where Rick was trying to put it back together.
But the sonofabitch upon the tank, one of the many out there just shook his head, and looked at him, almost…sad. "I got more people, more firepower. We need this prison. There it's."
"There're children here!" Amanda spoke beside him with a fire in her voice, "Kids! A baby. They can't be out. Let's talk about it."
"I have a tank," he stated again, "And I'm letting you walk away from here. What else is there to talk about?" he asked back, and shook his head again, "I don't want to do this in the hard way. I could shoot you all. You'd all shoot back. I know that. But we'll win and you'll be dead."
"Some of you will too—" Rick shouted back, "but it doesn't have to be like that!"
It couldn't. They—they had to find a way. They couldn't leave. Rick wasn't going give up on their home, he couldn't, but in answer, the bastard just lifted his gun up and shot twice in the air. The shots banged in the air loudly, screeching long…
"Noise will draw walkers," Governor stated matter-of-factly, "The longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be for you to get out of here. You got maybe about an hour of sunlight left." He paused again before finished, "I suggest you start packing now."
# # #
When the shots echoed in the air, Amanda knew it was a battle lost.
She turned to Rick, "Rick—" she started but he had that look in his eyes, his eyes were almost red, and he—he looked battened, in despair, his dark curls plastered across his face and neck with perspiration, and Amanda knew it wasn't only because of what had been happening since this morning—but it was of fear and dread.
Her day—her fucking 30th day…
In which everything just was turning worse and worse.
Amanda had never been a quitter—she didn't give up, she always struggled, but she also didn't get into fights she knew she couldn't win. Rick, though, was still looking at outside with that look, and she knew he wasn't going to stand down, never would leave this place without a fight, and Amanda felt torn. A part of her wanted to fight, wanted to protect what they had, she was sick of the sonofabitches who thought they had a right to do everything just because they could do it. She was so fucking tired of it. She didn't want to give up, but the other part…the other part…
Well, the other part just wanted to leave, just right now, just right that moment, start packing and leave, just like the sonofabitch had suggested. They could start anew. It would be hard, but they would do it, it was better than a bloodshed, it was better than being dead, but Amanda still could remember what he'd told her in the laundry room—
This place—this place is what all matters to me, Amanda. Keeping my people safe, my family, my children… safe, together, fed. That's what's important, anything else than…
Anything else than that was just irrelevant to Rick Grimes. I don't want any complications in my life.
That was his core-drive, what made him tick—protecting his family, and it was the man he was, but Amanda still knew a battle when it was lost.
She turned to him again, "Rick—" but without casting a glance at her, Rick moved closer to the fence, "We can all—" he started, then paused to clear his voice, "We can all live together," he stated, waving his arm at all of them, "There's enough room for all of us."
The man—his advisory just shook his head again, "More than enough," the man also accepted, "But we can't live together."
And Amanda knew it was the truth as well, she just knew it. Just like how she and Dawn or Gorman wouldn't have lived in the same place now no matter what. She didn't know what had happened between them, but she knew that much.
But Rick gave a little head shake again, "We'd live in different cell blocks," he offered in return, "We'd never have to see each other till we're all ready."
Beth's father turned his head and gave the man a look over his shoulder, "It could work. You know it could."
"It could've—" the man upon the tank stated, too, "But it won't. Not after Woodbury. Not after Andrea."
Amanda had no idea what those names meant, but nevertheless, she understood again. So, she wished they could just leave when there was still time— He had a tank, and all evidence was indicating that he wasn't only bark, bark, bark, but no bite. No. She feared he had the bite, too.
"Rick—" so she tried to talk to him again, but he didn't listen to her. Again.
When he spoke the next, he addressed all the people out there, gathered up at the fences with submachines and all those people trying to take his home away, "Look, I'm not saying it's gonna be easy," he said, "Fact is, it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder than standing here shooting at each other," he continued, "But I don't think we have a choice."
"We don't—" the last sonofabitch she had misfortunate to meet stated again, "You do."
And that was a fact, too.
Then Rick said back, "We're not leaving." And that was another fact, too, she realized, because Rick had his own bite, too. Amanda had seen it before. A part of her still wanted to tell him it was not worth it—but she knew it was too late for that now. Rick wasn't going to give up without a fight first.
"You try and force us, we'll fight back," he told them back, pointing his arm, trying to reason, trying to…threaten all the same, his voice fired, "Like you said, the gunshots will just bring more of them out. They'll take down the fences. Without the fences, this place is worthless. Now, we can all live in the prison or none of us can."
And yes, it sounded enough reasonable, and for a moment she thought—she thought the man wouldn't have dared it, wouldn't have dared to test him that way, but the next second Amanda remembered Dawn, remembered her own begging to the woman not to turn things into a bloodshed when she'd wanted to keep Beth—and remembered how the woman had gone beyond reason, beyond any sense.
Just too far gone, just too far gone in her madness, and the look of the man in front of them eyes just reminded Amanda of Dawn, so she really wished they could just leave… Just fucking leave! She had already seen this story, and it—it'd ended in tears…
She didn't want to see it again—
She turned to Rick. He'd stopped her before. When she'd lost her shit, he'd stopped her… "Rick—it's not the way," she started with his own words, "We'll get ourselves killed. We should—"
But her words cut off as the man jumped down from his tank and drew out Michonne's katana—and walked towards Beth's father as Rick shouted out, running closer to the fences.
"NO-!" Amanda followed him, running, and they were inches apart from the fence now, and behind her, back at the prison's, she could hear screams—above all Beth and Maggie's screams as the blade stopped at Hershel Greene's neck.
"You. You in the ponytails—" Rick frantically called at the people outside, just as the way she'd done at Grady, pointing at the one with a ponytail shorter than hers, "Is this what you want?" He waved both of his arms open in the air, asking with a fire all of them now, "Is this what any of you want?"
"What we want is what you got," another sonofabitch who was half emerged out from the tank's hatch with a submachine gun perfectly summarized it, "Period. Time for you to leave, asshole."
She turned to Rick again, "Rick—"
But still, he wasn't listening to her…
"Look, I fought him before—" he started addressing to his people once more, as his arch nemesis just stood there, listening, still pointing a katana blade at the neck of the man she'd sat down at his table for dinner a couple of days ago with his family…
When Rick spoke the next, his tone had that timber again, "And after, we took in his old friends—" Amanda listened to that smooth but deep timber, the one that made you hear him… even when you were about to die…even when you died… wake up now… "They've become leaders in what we have here."
"Now you put down your weapons, walk through those gates... you're one of us—" He told them, waving his arm back at the prison, and Amanda knew it was the truth, too, he—he could do it, he could keep his promise. She just believed it. She just believed him.
Through all fear, dread and panic, another thing— a flutter in her chest, like…like something blossoming out of her chest—and for a second or so, Amanda couldn't even understand what it was—then she felt it—all through her, coursing in her, she felt—hope.
They could do this. He could do this.
He—he could make them believe—in a way Dawn had never truly managed.
"We let go of all of it, and nobody dies," Rick continued, and Amanda just stared at him, as just as the others outside the fence, listening to him, hearing him, "Everyone who's alive right now. Everyone who's made it this far. We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive. But we can still come back." His words vibrated in her insides, remembering the things she'd done…all the times she had turned her head to the other side…the people she'd killed… But he was right. They could come back. They were… they were not—
"We're not too far gone," she heard him say, completing her thought, and she gave out a little smile, "We get to come back. I know... we all can change."
Her hand found the back of her neck, and she pulled off her hair tie, and let go her hair again, and felt them brushing over her shoulders as she dropped the tie off her fingers.
A soft wind passed over them, floating between her locks, and Rick's eyes skipped over at her, and they shared a look—for a second that felt like eons again—
Then she heard it—so small, barely audible, but she heard it—just one word—cutting through it… and she froze.
"Liar."
Their eyes moved up at the same time and she saw the man rising his arm—and the blade…
While it fell, her eyes caught the sunlight that was glinting at the edge…then everything turned to red.
So-it happened again, just as Amanda freed her hair again, another disaster happened. LOL.
As you can see, I almost kept everything the same how it happened at the show, only planted Amanda there as she HAD TO to hear that talk, as it was a coming full circle for her, hearing Rick's iconic "we're not too far gone" speech, as also the story's namesake, and started really *believing in him* (possibly falling in love, as well) even though she knew they should've just left, because it was a battle lost. As I said, I didn't want to change this part a lot, because it's such an iconic moment at TWD, for Rick, I wouldn't have done it.
I was trying to make Amanda's Dawn subplot very similar to what happened with Governor, too-Amanda realizing the man beyond reason, but had the bite, OH MY GOD, I finally put the "bark, bark, bark, no bite" thing from Adaptation in the narrative too, as I said full circle. He he.
So, the next, we finally leave the prison, too. I stopped here because I wanted this chapter to be special, just that scene before Hershel died. The next we'll start how they will leave out, who will end up with who :D Any guess is free, I'm still debating some ideas myself, too. :D
Like always, don't forget to review, if you're still reading. I really love hearing from you. Thanks!