Chapter Twenty Two ~ Graduation Day
Inspired By: Slow March ~ K. Flay
June 11th, Present Day
I'm not really sure how to start this. This is the fifth time I've started over. You see, it's bittersweet, writing this. I never really thought I would get this far. I thought for sure I would give up halfway through. I never intended to actually keep up with this whole Journaling thing. But here I am, seemingly writing what will be the very last entry.
Today, is June 11th. Graduation Day. Not only is it Graduation Day, but it's Melanie's 2 month birthday.
Birthday? Is it a birthday? I think it is. Jimmy laughs at me, but I know he does too.
Things have been...perfect. So absolutely perfect I had to pinch myself a few times just to make sure that all of this was real. Mel and I were in the hospital for a week after she was born. Apparently, recovery after a near death experience, is actually quite complicated. Who would have thought? Jimmy stayed with me most nights. He got so used to sleeping in that god awful hospital chair he couldn't fall asleep for hours the first night we spent home. He was a natural, by the way. Always taking care of Mel when she woke up in the middle of the night. He did everything he could to let me rest. There was one time, a few days after we got home, he insisted that I take a nap after I finished feeding. I was so exhausted to the point that I didn't even have the energy to argue with him. When I woke up later that night, I found him fast asleep on the sofa, Melanie curled in his arms, an empty bottle in his hand. I swear my heart stopped when I came around the corner. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I stood there and watched them for five minutes before I had the heart to wake him up. I don't deserve him. I truly don't deserve him.
I'll never forget the moment when everyone finally got met Mel. The hospital staff only allowed a few in at a time, so Jimmy and I had to pick and choose. My mom and Judy went first. The two of them fighting the whole time over who she looked like more. Then it was my dad and Hugh. I had never seen Hugh look more proud of Jimmy. I remember he pulled him into a hug and just held him for a while. It was such a sweet moment, I couldn't help the tears as I watched from the hospital bed. Libby, Carl and Sheen were last, and of course, Libby was a mess. She, out of everyone, held Mel the longest. 'Auntie Privileges' is what she had said. It was surreal, the five of us sitting around the hospital bassinet. We never really considered that this was a moment that we, as best friends, would ever get to experience. Especially this soon. It felt like the old days, where we would just sit down in the lab and talk for hours. Only this time, it was in a hospital and around Jimmy and I's newborn daughter. Daughter. Wow. That word still sounds so foreign to me. I have a daughter. With Jimmy! 12-year-old me would be screaming if she ever found out. She'd pretend to be mortified, but deep down, she'd be swooning.
Even after we left the hospital, the visitors never stopped. Someone was always over, and Mel was always in someone's arms. There was one time, not too long ago, where my mom and dad had come to visit together. It was weird, seeing them be so civil. They seemed to have fallen into this newfound relationship. Something that I, or anyone for that matter, would have never expected. It was nice, not seeing them at each other's throats for once. It's been years since I've seen them this peaceful. That afternoon, before they left, I caught a glimpse of the two of them sitting on the sofa, quietly. My mom's head on my dad's shoulder as he rocked Mel in his arms. They didn't know I was there, watching them. And it was so surreal. Almost like I was looking through a mirror to the past. I know my parents will never be like before, but….maybe Melanie will bring them to be something new…..Maybe.
It's crazy to think that I've been a mom for two months already. I still feel like it was just yesterday I was sitting on my bathroom floor, crying to myself on the last day of summer. If I could go back in time, and tell that girl where she'd end up in nine months, she would have never believed me. She would have laughed in my face. Life was so different back them. I was so young. So naive. I've learned so much over these months. So much has happened. So many tears. So many fights. So many laughs and moments and stories…..
And it always comes back to that, doesn't it? The story. When I first started this journal, that's exactly what I intended for this to be. A story of Jimmy and I and our journey. I wanted it to be more than just a book of memories. I wanted it to be more than just a place for me to rant about my feelings. I wanted it to be a story. A story of two kids, far too young in the world's eyes, stumbling through this journey of self-discovery and worth, and eventually, parenthood. A story where our daughter would grow up knowing, these are my parents and this was their life. This was their story. And maybe one day, she would write her own story for her own children and so on and so forth. Life is an endless maze of stories. Everyone has one. Some better than others, but regardless, you only get one. So make it worth telling. Make it worth living.
I'm rambling, I know. Jimmy's giving me the 'let's go, we're gonna be late' look. Melanie's dressed all in white, a pretty pink bow in her hair. It's Graduation Day. But this isn't the final chapter. This isn't how the story ends. I guess what I've been trying to say this entire entry is that, I won't be writing in this journal anymore. I'll be getting a new one, once I get to LA. And that will be a new journey. A new story. With new lessons, new memories, and new moments.
So, to whoever reads this journal and actually makes it to the end, thank you. Thank you for reading, Pink.
I have to go now. So I guess, I'll see you in the next one.
Cindy leaned back in the office chair, the ink still wet on the page. The pen in her hand suddenly feeling heavy. Jimmy was standing behind her, dressed in black slacks and a simple white button down, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The tattoo on his right forearm, visible. He hated formal wear, but he made a promise to his mother and Cindy that he would suck it up for today. Melanie was buckled in the carrier, which he had set on the floor beside him. Crystal blue wide awake eyes searching anywhere and everywhere.
Jimmy walked up to Cindy, placing a hand on her shoulder. His voice, soft as he tilted his head so that he could see her face. "Ready?"
A long breath as Cindy carefully placed the pen beside the open journal. Her graduation cap, sitting in her lap. The soft golden light from the table lamp illuminating her melancholy features. Slowly, she nodded, tears already fighting at the edges. Her own voice as soft as the summer wind outside.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm ready."
The graduation was being held in the school courtyard. It was a tradition. A beautiful blue sky, white wispy clouds painted above them. Over 300 chairs spread out across the damp grass, the stage decorated with white and red ribbons and balloons. The podium, set right in the middle. The warm breeze grazed his skin as he stood motionless in the aisle. Arms crossed over his chest, waves of brown peeking out from under the graduation cap. In his pocket, was the speech he spent all night working on. The Valedictorian Speech. He took a breath, allowing the Texas air into his lungs as he watched various workers hook up the microphone to the podium. He would be up there soon. In front of everyone.
Jimmy was terrified.
"Well, well, well, look who finally decided to arrive."
A smirk graced his lips as the familiar voice rang out behind him. "I would have been here sooner but Mel didn't want to corporate." He turned around to see Carl and Sheen not far from him. "That, and you know how long it takes for Cindy to get ready."
Carl laughed, but it was Sheen's voice that carried throughout the wind. "Don't let her hear you say that! She'll kick your ass."
Jimmy chuckled. "She already knows. It's no secret."
"How is Mel?" Carl asked, adjusting his own graduation cap amongst the various thick auburn curls.
"She's good. Really good. Just barely two months old and already she's trying to sit up on her own. She can't stay still. For anything."
"Just wait til she starts walking. You'll probably be chasing her all over the damn house. That's how I was when I was little!" Sheen laughed.
Jimmy shook his head. "I don't even want to think about that. And besides, it'll be awhile before she takes her first steps."
"I don't know, man. She's got your genes. She could be walking as early as 9 months." Carl pointed out.
"Yeah dude, between you and Cindy, that kid is bound to have some kind of super intelligence." Said Sheen.
Jimmy laughed. "Maybe. Regardless, I don't want to think about her growing up. Already, she's grown too big for my liking."
"Look at you, man." Sheen patted Jimmy on the back. "Being a dad and shit."
"Who would have thought it would be you who gets to be the daddy of the group first." Carl just smirked. "I thought for sure Libby would be pregnant way before Cindy."
"First of all, never call me daddy again. Second of all, you guys didn't even know me and Cindy were together until later on." Jimmy pointed out.
"And third of all," Sheen cut in. "Me and Libby are responsible."
Jimmy shot Sheen a look. "Wow dude, way to throw shade."
Carl just burst into laughter. "Dude, we all knew you and Cindy were fucking way before you told us."
"Yeah dude, we took bets and everything." Sheen nodded towards Carl.
Jimmy looked between the two of them. "I'm sorry, you took bets?"
"Yup." They said in unison.
"When?!"
"Last summer when she was always over your house. I mean come on dude, how did you think that was gonna look?" Sheen said.
"What—" Jimmy stumbled over his words, still laughing while trying his hardest to defend himself. "Well, you know, sometimes friends just like to hang out. All the time. Because they're such good friends."
"Mmmhmm." Carl just shook his head. "I'm sure your face between her thighs really solidified that friendship."
This time it was Jimmy who burst into laughter. "I fucking hate you guys."
"No you don't!" Sheen got up in Jimmy's face. "You loooove us."
"You can hate us all you want, but I can't wait til Mel is old enough so Uncle Carl can tell her all of the embarrassing stories about her dad." Carl smirked.
"You better—fucking—not." Jimmy pointed a finger in his face, still laughing.
"Yeah! And Uncle Sheen can teach her all kinds of crazy things!"
Jimmy shook his head, the palm of his hand coming to rest upon his forehead. "I swear to god,
Sheen—"
"Oh, I can picture the holidays now." Said Carl while looking up at the sky.
It was then, that Jimmy noticed a new figure walking up to them. Dirty blond hair slicked back with a part over one eye, neatly trimmed beard and an expensive looking black suit that made him stand out amongst the crowd. Jimmy stood up straight as he approached him. Carl and Sheen's voices dying down as Liam Vortex made his entrance.
"Jimmy." Liam held out his hand.
To which, Jimmy grasped it, firmly. A more serious, yet surprised, expression gracing his features. "Liam, I didn't think you were going to make it. Cindy told me you had business to take care of?"
"And miss my daughter's graduation? Business can wait. Besides, my team's got a handle on it." Liam shook his head, chuckling, before his eyes fell upon Carl and Sheen. "You boys ready?"
Carl and Sheen, who have both only had very brief interactions with Liam Vortex, suddenly stood up straight, as if they were talking to the President of the United States. Both of their heads nodding in unison.
"Yup." Said Sheen.
"As ready as we can be." Carl shifted awkwardly.
"And you?" Liam turned to Jimmy.
He exhaled, swallowing hard. "I think I'm ready."
Liam rose a brow. "You think?"
Carl and Sheen both started to back away, feeling the slight tension rise. "We'll catch up with you later when we line up, Jimmy!" Said Carl.
"Y—yeah! See ya man!" Sheen waved awkwardly as he stumbled backwards. Carl grabbed his arm and whispered something into his ear, but Jimmy couldn't make out what they were saying. He was far too busy trying not to make eye contact with Liam.
"I….." Jimmy paused. "I'm ready to move on with this next chapter of life, but I'm hesitant at the same time. If that makes any sense."
Liam nodded, thoughtfully. "I know what you're feeling. And it's hard. You've gotten so use to life as it is. It's hard to transition to something so drastically different. Change is the biggest challenge you'll ever face."
"I think that's what scares me the most."
Liam patted him on the back, a gesture that made Jimmy freeze up, unconsciously. He and Liam may have been on better terms, but this was new. This was very new. He turned and Liam was already looking at him. Eyes digging into his soul that made Jimmy nervous. But Liam didn't look angry. He didn't look upset. If anything, his expression was almost, consoling.
"You're gonna do great things, Jimmy. Despite the fear, don't be afraid of change. Don't be afraid of the opportunities it brings. It helps you grow. It shapes you. Take a look at me, for example. One simple decision to study abroad in Bordeaux changed my life forever. It gave me the most precious gift life could ever grant. And because of that, it pushed me to do better. To be better. And trust me, I know the pain change can bring. The stress it can impose. I'll never forgive myself for the mistakes I've made. Not fully. But I know, regardless of the hurt it caused, everything happens for a reason. Every decision you make to change your life has an impact. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. But eventually, you will find the light. It's a slow, slow march, but you will make it out on top. Wiser from all the mistakes. Wiser from the change."
"And if I don't?" Jimmy asked.
"You will. I know you will." Above them, the sun was at its peak. The golden rays splashed upon the Retroville High courtyard. The damp grass, now dry. People were slowly filtering in. Getting ready for the ceremony. It's Graduation Day, after all. Jimmy took a breath while Liam's words carried throughout the air. And it was this moment that made Jimmy realize, this was not the end. No. His story wasn't finished yet. And Liam was right. He would make it out on top.
He'd be damned if he didn't.
Her blond hair was pulled back into two pretty French braids. Something she did not so often. Her bangs pinned back to the side, light make-up covering her face. She took a deep breath as she looked into the bathroom mirror. Various other girls standing along the sinks, all pinning their graduation caps to their head. Cindy swallowed hard. Who would have thought this day would come? Who would have thought she would have made it this far?
Libby nudged her. "What's wrong, girl? You should be happy! It's Graduation Day!"
Cindy laughed, then. Her best friend's voice giving her comfort in the best way. "I am happy. I'm just….I don't know, taking it all in? I guess? This is big, Libby. We're graduating fucking High School. Can you believe it?"
"Nope. It feels like a dream, honestly." Libby shook her head. "It's crazy."
Cindy took another breath, placing the graduation cap on her head, taking out a few bobby pins from her pocket. "Remember in the 5th grade where we all used to watch the seniors on Graduation Day? We all wanted it to be us, so badly. But now that we're here….it feels weird."
"I does feel weird. But….It feels….like a breath of fresh air, at the same time." Libby placed her arm on Cindy's shoulder, leaning against her. "It's like….this isn't the end, not by any means. But…..it's the end of a chapter. The end of a journey."
Cindy blinked, and it was as if both she and Libby were in elementary grades again. Libby's braids short, her face so young and innocent. Her dark skin, still flawless, even for a kid. Big brown eyes that looked like melted chocolate on a warm summer's day. And Cindy, pale skin, pink lips, green eyes. Thick blond hair pulled high into a ponytail, long bangs swept off to the side. And it was only for a second, before it was gone. The two of them being replaced with what they look like now. Tall, grown, beautiful. Her hand went to rest upon her stomach, no longer protruding and large. Her surgical wound, healed for the most part, but still scarred. Scarred for life.
"Look at us." Cindy murmured.
"This is what two bad bitches look like." Libby winked in the mirror, followed by Cindy's laugh.
"You think everything's gonna change after today?" Cindy asked, curiously.
Libby shook her head. "Nah. We might be miles apart, but we'll be family for life. All of us." She snorted, then. Cindy loved when she laughed like that. "I can't wait to see what the holidays will look like. Shit's gonna be crazy."
"With us, everything's crazy." Cindy leaned her head against Libby's neck, laughing into her perfumed skin.
A deep breath, Libby turned towards Cindy for the first time since entering the girl's bathroom. Most of the other girls had gone. Hurried out with their giggles and tears. The silence filtered around them. She held out her hand. "Ready?"
Cindy nodded, a smile now on her lips, her hand slipped into Libby's effortlessly. "Let's walk that fucking stage."
"Cindy?"
They were just about halfway through the door when she heard her voice. It was softer than she remembered, but that same tone of maturity still underlined it. She hadn't even realized she was in here. Cindy turned around, her eyes meeting hers. Her short black hair tucked neatly behind her ears, her own graduation cap pinned. Short bangs, trimmed just above her brown eyes. Make-up, as always, done up. Red lipstick painted her lips, complimenting her pale skin. Pink blush and perfect contour. She really was beautiful. Cindy was sure she'd be a model someday.
Libby's eyes shifted to Cindy. "You good?"
Cindy nodded, letting go of Libby's hand. "Go ahead. I'll catch up with you guys in a bit."
Libby was hesitant, staying caught between the doorway, but slowly as Cindy walked towards Betty Quinlan, she nodded and disappeared into the distant voices that carried down the hall.
It had been months since she'd looked her in the eye. The two of them pretty much avoiding each other at all costs. People liked to talk, but Cindy never cared enough to pay attention to the gossip. After the fight, and that (somewhat) civil conversation the two of them had, there was no reason for either of them to get involved with each other anymore. But despite the months and months that have gone by, Cindy still often thought about what it would have been like if they were friends. How different would everything be? And was being friends all that far fetched? There was more to Betty Quinlan then just a pretty face and taunting attitude. The two of them were strangely alike in a lot more ways than one would think. And it almost made Cindy sad the way everything went down.
"You look good." Betty gestured to her outfit. A plain white dress that came right above her knee. Lace along the bottom of a flowy skirt with a simple A-line neckline. It went nicely with her open gown that fell almost to the ground.
Cindy shifted awkwardly under her gaze. Her own hand gesturing over to Betty. The complete opposite. A sleek black dress, perfectly hugging her curves with her signature bright red heels. "You too."
A pause. Betty took a step forward. "I heard about your daughter. Congratulations, by the way. I was gonna say something sooner but…..you know…."
Cindy took a breath. "It's ok. I—Uh, I understand….your hesitation…."
This time it was Betty who exhaled. "Look. I know this is awkward. And, I'm trying really hard to not just run away, like I always do. But I…I want to apologize. Properly."
Cindy blinked. What?
"You have to understand, when I did….everything that I did….I was in a really bad place. A really bad place, Cindy. My parents were getting a divorce, I was being cheated on by the multiples, school was stressing me out so much that my hair was falling out in the shower….and the popularity….being Queen Bee…It was too much. All of it. And….I broke."
"Betty—"
"Let me finish." Betty took another step forward. "I am so, so sorry, for everything that I did to you. To you and Jimmy. And I'll apologize to him too, but I wanted to start with you first. I was so broken and beaten and obsessed with this idea that this was all happening to me because I had no one to save me. I had no one to help me. I had no one who thought I was worth it. I was never in love with Jimmy, but rather in love with the idea of being loved in return. By someone who actually gave a shit. I was so angry. And every time Jimmy would look at you….it fueled that anger. Even though you had absolutely nothing to do with any of it."
She paused, searching for the right words. Cindy stepped forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. Carefully, slowly, but the gesture was enough to cause Betty to shiver. "You don't have to explain yourself to me. It's ok."
Betty shook her head. "I never hated you. Not really. I hated myself. I still do. But everyday, I'm getting better. I've gone to therapy since the fight. I've done a lot of soul searching, and distancing myself from the toxic people who caused me that hurt. I'm sorry for how long it took me to get to this point. I wanted to apologize sooner, but…."
"Betty." Cindy placed her other hand on her shoulder. "It's in the past. We've all done stupid shit. Myself included. We're people. Human beings. We act out when we're in pain, it's our instincts. I am not the same Cindy that you saw in that courtyard. Just like you're not the same Betty. We're stronger. Aware of our mistakes and learned from them."
A single tear fell down Betty's cheek. She lifted her manicured finger to wipe it away, quickly. "You're right. You're so fucking right, Cindy."
Cindy smiled. "And you are worth it. Fuck all of those who said you aren't because you are."
Another tear. "Thanks. Honestly, I don't deserve this."
"Everyone deserves a second chance. "
"Maybe." Betty licked her lips, a playful smirk coming to play at the corners of her mouth. "You're pretty good, by the way. At throwing a punch. You really fucked up my nose."
Cindy laughed. "10 years of Martial Arts and a psychotic French mother who conditions me constantly."
Betty laughed, and it was then that Cindy realized she couldn't remember the last time she had seen Betty laugh. Truly laugh. The corner of her eyes crinkling, her smile beyond genuine. She seemed happy. An emotion Cindy, nine months ago, would have never associated with Betty. But here she was, standing in the girl's bathroom on Graduation Day with her hands on Betty Quinlan's shoulders, both sets of laughter filling the air.
"You'll have to teach me some tricks over the summer. I'm gonna need them where I'm going." Betty dabbed her face with her fingers, checking to make sure her make-up wasn't running.
"Where are you going?" Cindy asked, suddenly curious.
"Los Angeles. I got accepted to The American Academy of Dramatic Arts."
Cindy had to take a full breath of realization as the words left Betty's mouth. "You're going to LA?"
"I know, it's crazy, but…I've always loved film. And Theater. And acting. Remember in grade school, during all the plays we used to do? I always wanted to be the star. It's only fitting."
"No, Betty, that's—that's great. Really, you're gonna be amazing at it, I have no doubt. It just caught me off guard. I'm going to LA after graduation too."
"No shit!" Betty's smile was infectious. "What school?!"
"Well," Cindy paused. "I haven't picked one yet. My dad lives in LA and….I'm gonna be living with him for a little bit. But...I haven't decided where I'm gonna end up going. I'm kind of lost, to be honest."
"You should apply to the Academy! There's still time!"
Cindy shook her head. "No…I wouldn't be good at—"
"What are you talking about?! You've always been amazing at the arts! You'd do so well at a Drama school!"
"I—" Cindy had thought about it. She had. She always did enjoy Theater, singing, and performing. She wasn't the best dancer, but she could learn. She already knew how to play the piano. And of course, there was the martial arts, which was a really good skill to have in the industry. Cindy never really thought about the benefits of having a rich father who already lived in LA. With the right people, and hookups, and of course training….she had the potential to be a star. She could be famous. Actually famous.
Cindy's mind wandered for a moment. Imagining herself on a red carpet, dressed in a long satin dress, with Jimmy on her arm.
She smiled. She wouldn't mind a life like that.
"I don't know." Cindy laughed again, shaking her head from those thoughts.
"You should think about it." Said Betty. "Really, I think you'd be great."
"Thanks." Cindy shifted awkwardly.
Betty stood up straight, her hands smoothing down her dress. The air filled with a silence again, but not a tense one. "We're probably gonna be late."
"Shit." Cindy turned around to the door. "You're probably right."
"Come on," Betty held the door as she held out her other hand to Cindy. "We have a stage to walk across."
And it was this moment that Cindy realized, this would be the start of a very interesting friendship.
She took Betty's hand.
Everyone was settled. Families all seated, just waiting for the event to begin. Sasha sat in the back, a pretty blue dress hung loosely over her slim figure. Black hair pulled high up into a braided bun. Her arms were currently filled with a sleeping Melanie, dressed in a white onesie. The pink bow headband fit perfectly around her head. Curls of brown climbing around the band. On the side of her, was Liam. His phone was buzzing wildly in his pocket, but he ignored the calls and various texts as he ran his thumb over his granddaughter's forehead. Sasha couldn't help but smile. This newfound peace between the two of them was nice. No more fighting. No more hurt. They would never be what they were, but they were moving towards a new relationship. Civil, for the sake of Cindy and Melanie, but….peaceful. It was nice.
Judy was on the other side of Sasha. A red sundress, the skirt filled with red flowers and twisting vines up the bodice. Her chestnut hair down, the ends curled up perfectly. A white headband across the top of her head. Her eyes never left Melanie's sleeping form. Her little chest rose and fell with every slow breath. Judy's heart swelled, her fingers delicately intertwining with her granddaughter's. She looked just like Jimmy. Nobody could tell her otherwise.
Hugh followed Judy, sitting on the very end. Dressed for the first time in a while in a suit jacket and slacks. Messy dark brown hair and thick glasses that sat on the bridge of his nose. He watched as Judy placed her fingers with Melanie's, a pleasant smile on his lips. He always imagined this moment. Granted, he didn't expect to experience it this soon, but nevertheless, he always imagined the moment when he and Judy would be grandparents. A little girl. His Jimmy had a little girl. He was a grandpa! Hugh shook his head at the word. His smile painted wide across his face. He loved her so much already.
The graduates were all gathered in the cafeteria. The loud joyful voices booming off of the walls, filling the air with a mood that just made everyone smile. Libby and Sheen were mid conversation, Carl listening along while Jimmy stared off into the distance. His hand unconsciously tugging at the speech tucked in his pocket. It was then, that the doors swung open. Her open graduation gown flowed behind her as she pushed through the crowd. Her hand clasped with Betty's. The group went silent as the two of them approached.
"We lining up yet?" Cindy asked.
Jimmy's eyes went to Cindy. Then to Betty. Then back to Cindy, and then over to Libby, Carl and Sheen who looked just as confused as he was. He stumbled over his words. "Uh—no, not yet. Soon…I think."
Cindy nodded, finally letting go of Betty's hand as she seemed uncomfortable under the groups gaze.
It was Libby who spoke first. Clearing her throat, awkwardly. "So….Betty. You—uh, you look good."
Betty took a breath, crossing her arms over her chest, almost shy. "You guys don't have to pretend. I know how you all feel about me. And I don't blame you. I deserve it."
"Did—deserve it. You did. Not anymore." Cindy interrupted before turning to the group. "This is the new Betty, everyone. The past is the past. Today is a day, for new beginnings."
"So…." Sheen spoke up. "So you guys are like…cool….now?"
Cindy took a breath, glancing over to Betty who nodded her head. They still had miles to go, but already, it was better. "Yeah. Yeah, we are."
It was Betty who spoke up then. "Look, I want to apologize to all of you. Especially you, Jimmy. I—I know my actions cause all of you some sort of hurt. And…I'm sorry. I was at a point in my life that affected my head and…..I wasn't me. Not really. I was hurting and instead of trying to fix myself I caused those around me to hurt as well. But….that's not me anymore. And…I want to move past it. I want to move past everything. And I'm not asking for you guys to be best friends with me…I'm just asking for—"
"A fresh start?" Jimmy finished for her.
For the first time in a long time she met his eyes. An uneasy breath pushed past her lips. "Yeah. You could say that."
Jimmy went quiet for a moment. Thoughtfully going over Betty's words in his head. He looked over to Cindy, briefly, to which she nodded, giving him affirmation. The group eagerly awaited his response. All eyes shifting back and forth between Betty, him and Cindy. Finally, he nodded as well.
"I can give you that."
Betty visibly relaxed, a smile coming across her features. It was something he wasn't used to. Normally her smiles were flirtatious, or cocky, or condescending. But this one seemed genuine. Like she was truly just….happy. "Thank you."
"Thank you." Libby spoke. Her arms folded across her chest, almost defensive, in case the conversation went south. "It takes balls to come back after the shit you've done. I can respect that. And Cindy's right. The past is the past. Everyone deserves a second chance."
Betty took a deep breath again, doing her best to not cry. Today was emotional on its own. This conversation was really testing her.
The intercom went off, causing the six of them to jump, all caught off guard.
"Graduates, we're asking you all to line up in alphabetical order by last name. Please head to the entrance and speak with our representatives to find your place in line. Thank you."
"Shit," mumbled Carl. "It's really happening."
"Hey Cin, at least me and you will be sitting kinda close to each other!" Sheen said as the group slowly began to make their way over to the front of the cafeteria.
"Sheen." Cindy shot him a look. "They said by last name."
"Yeah."
A chuckle came from Jimmy.
"What's my last name, Sheen?" Cindy pushed.
"Vortex, obviously." He rolled his eyes. "Why are you acting like I'm being stupid?"
"Where is the letter V in the alphabet, Sheen." Cindy pressed further. The rest of the group started to laugh harder. Even Betty.
Sheen stopped. Wheels turning in his head.
Jimmy patted him on the back, laughing. "Don't try too hard, you might hurt yourself."
"Wait! I really don't get it!" Sheen looked visibly confused as they all walked passed.
Libby scooped him up by the arm, the sound of her laughter reaching him in the best way. "It's ok, babe. I still love you."
Sheen didn't get it until a full 15 minutes later.
The ceremony started shortly after the graduates lined up. Pictures and waves and applause filled the space as they all made their way down the aisle, stopping at their own seats. The group was pretty spit up, except for Carl and Cindy who ironically ended up right next to each other. Sheen and Libby had 12 other students in between, Betty lost somewhere in the middle, and Jimmy completely separated and seated up front. Cindy was supposed to be seated next to him, in the Salutatorian chair, but because of the pregnancy and the many other things that were out of her control, her spot was lost. She even had to leave the honor's program because of all the unplanned absences. She had tried so hard to remain on top, but ultimately, the stress wasn't worth it. And even though it killed her inside, she had to make peace and let it go. There were more important things than being top of the class.
Principle Ziter spoke first. His speech sounded old, like he had been repeating the same graduation speech for years. Most of the students paid no mind, the families, even more so. Lucky for Jimmy, the Salutatorian, Colleen, went before him so he had time to mentally prepare himself before it was his turn. He was nervous. Really, nervous. The speech he wrote was good but….he kept convincing himself it sounded too bland. Too much like the generic graduation speech and he refused to be that guy. He owed it to himself, and to everyone in the crowd, to be better than that. He was Jimmy—mother fucking—Neutron. He couldn't just give a half-ass speech and call it a day.
Even though a part of him really wished he could.
Too soon, Colleen's words came to a close. The sound of applause came crashing down, the pulsing of his heartbeat suddenly loud in his ears. He was ushered up to the stage, the applause getting louder. From the back row, he could see his father stand up, cheering his name. He could see his mother, smiling proudly next to him, a camera in her hand. Sasha and Liam both applauding as well. And then there was Melanie. Asleep in Sasha's arms, so peacefully unaware of her surroundings. She'll never remember this moment, but she's here. She's here.
He found Cindy in the crowd next. Her smile as bright as the sun. Her golden hair giving him a light to hold on too during this sudden panic attack. The green in her eyes, though at a distance, still granted him clarity as he stood tall behind the podium. He took out the piece of paper that had been weighing down his pockets and placed it in front of him.
The courtyard fell silent. And it was then that Jimmy was reminded of the last time the Retroville High Courtyard had been this silent. His eyes shifted to Betty, ever so briefly. It occurred to him, then, that this was where it all started. This was where everything came crashing down. It's funny to think that all these months later, he would be standing here as….a different man.
And then it hit him.
He took the piece of paper that had been taunting him all day and ripped it in half.
A deep breath as he spoke into the microphone. "I had a whole speech written down. Spent hours on it. Waste of time, really. Because now that I'm up here, I've decided…I'm not gonna read it."
Curious stares as he took the pieces and crumpled them in his hand. "It's funny. I've spent my whole life imagining this moment, and now that it's here, it feels different then I thought. And not different in a bad way, I want to make that very clear, but…just….different. When I was younger, I always thought that I'd get up here and boast on and on about all of the things I've accomplished. All of the things I've done. Remind you all that we all knew it was gonna be me up here, doing this speech and so on and so forth. You know, be the cocky asshole that you all have unfortunately, or fortunately, come to know."
A slight chuckle from the crowd. Cindy rolled her eyes, Libby shaking her head. "But things have changed. Drastically. I'm not the same Jimmy that would have written that speech, 6-7 years ago. I'm not the same kid who would have done anything to show you guys that I was perfect, at everything, and there was no bringing me down. Because in the end, I wasn't. I was naive to think that I was perfect. A perfect thing does not exist. Only in your imagination." Jimmy stopped, a smirk creeping upon his lips as his eyes met Cindy's in the crowd. "I needed to be knocked down a size. I needed to be challenged. I needed someone to remind me that, I'm human. And that it's ok to have imperfections. And….you know, that I'm not the only one capable of being top of the class. I have Cindy to thank for all that."
Cindy laughed, heads all turned in her direction. Jimmy's eyes never left hers. "I'd be nothing, without her. If she had never forced me off that pedestal I built myself, I would have never gotten to experience what it feels like to be free. What it feels like to have friends. What feels like to love." Another deep breath, this one more uneasy then the others. He was getting emotional. "She makes me….want to be…..a better man. A better father, for my daughter. Our daughter. She, truly, brings out the best in me. And I'm so sorry it took me 7 years to realize it."
Cindy was crying now. Along with Libby, Judy, and even Sasha. The crowd, completely silent. "And I'm sorry, I'm rambling. There is a point to this fucking speech, I promise. But in order for me to stand here and tell you guys that we're all gonna go on to do great things, and that we—the kids of Retroville—will not be forgotten and will not just fade into the background and blah—blah—blah…..In order for me to spew all of that—I have to recognize the girl who made, this man standing before all of you today, possible. The girl who, honestly, should be standing here giving this speech, not me. She deserves it more than I ever could have. And god, 12-year-old me would have screamed if he heard me say that out loud—let alone to a crowd of people."
More laughs, but Cindy was still crying. "I guess the moral of the story that I'm trying to sell is, don't be like me. Or, rather, like I was. I'm no role model. Valedictorian doesn't mean shit. Seriously. I'm no perfect student. I never have been, and I never will be. Don't strive to be like I was. Don't be greedy. Don't be cocky. Don't be a douchbag just because you think you're better than everyone else, because you're not—let's be honest. Be better then that. Find someone who makes you want to be better. Because in the end, that is worth way more than anything in this world." Jimmy locked eyes with Cindy once more, the most purest expression of love splashed across his features. "I love you, Cindy Vortex. And I want everyone here to know that if anyone belongs on this stage, it's her. Not me. It's never been me. Always her. Find someone like her. Someone who believes in you, wholeheartedly. Someone who has your back, no matter what. Someone who keeps you in line, who doesn't let you lose yourself to the wrath that is society. Find your own, Cynthia Vortex. Because I guarantee you, once you do, your life will change forever."
Jimmy paused, swallowing hard. One single tear fell down his cheek as his eyes remained on Cindy. The crowd already cheering his name. His smile was infectious. "Congratulations, Retroville High. Stay alive and strive for a better tomorrow. It may be Graduation Day, but this is not the end."
The applause was overwhelming. Everyone rose, giving him a standing ovation. Cindy's cheeks were stained with tears. Carl helped make sure her make-up didn't run too much. In the back, his parents were also crying, along with Sasha with a very proud looking Liam standing next to her. He would always remember this moment. He didn't think it was possible to smile this bright. The entire courtyard chanted his name as he made his way off of the stage. The applause still carried out even after he sat down.
Colleen, sitting next to him, shook him by the shoulder. "That was amazing, Jimmy. Your daughter is lucky to have a father like you."
Jimmy wiped his own tears away. Taking a deep breath and nodding his head. "I hope so."
He really did hope so.
It was just like the movies. The crowd screaming as each and every graduate made their way across the stage. Principle Ziter's voice booming across the courtyard. So many pictures, laughs, cheers and tears. And when it was over, the caps came off and went into the air. The moment they were allowed to mingle Cindy ran across the courtyard. Her arms wrapping around Jimmy's neck. When she pulled back he was crying. Something he once never did, but now does more often then he'd like to admit. He placed his own hands on each side of Cindy's face, his thumb brushing away her tears.
"That wasn't the speech you prepared." She said, breathless.
"No." Jimmy shook his head laughing. "No it wasn't."
Heads turned in their direction, a few graduates stopping to watch them from a far. And as Cindy pulled Jimmy down for a kiss, applause and cheers filled the air.
They laughed as they pulled apart. A small crowd now gathered around them. Jimmy shook his head. "I guess we're famous now." He said to Cindy.
She pressed her forehead against his. "We've always been famous."
"Hey!"
The cheers were loud, but Libby's voice was louder as she pushed through the crowd, heavy footsteps imprinting in the grass. Carl and Sheen not far behind her. She was out of breath as she made it over to them. Her own mascara running down her cheeks. She punched Jimmy playfully in the arm the moment she was close enough.
"Ow," He shot Libby a look. "The hell was that for?"
"For making me cry!" She may have shouted her words, but her smile was apparent as she then pulled Jimmy into a hug. "Asshole. You fucked up my make-up."
Cindy laughed, using her fingers to wipe the remaining tears from her eyes. "We did it guys. We fucking made it."
"I'm honestly more surprised that Sheen, of all people, made it." Carl chuckled besides her.
It was then, as they all turned to Sheen, to realize that there was something different about his demeanor. The way he held himself, suddenly tall. The way his breath seemed shallow. The slight tremble in his hands. He hadn't been paying attention to Carl's words. He hadn't been paying attention to anything, really. He was too busy just looking at Libby. His eyes glued to the way her skin almost sparkled in the sun. The way her smile lit up this entire courtyard. He swallowed hard as Libby turned around to face him.
"Babe, what's wrong?" She reached out and grabbed his hand.
Sheen let go of a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "I—" he stumbled over his words. "I—wasn't gonna do this here. But…after hearing that speech Jimmy just gave….I don't wanna wait. I've waited long enough."
Libby tilted her head, confused. A slight chuckle escaped through her words. "What are you going on about now?"
His trembling hands reached into his pocket, but it wasn't until he pulled out the small black box that had been weighing him down for Cindy and the other's to gasp.
He got down on one knee, still holding Libby's hand.
"I love you, Libby. And I know this is crazy. I know I'm crazy. But…..you're crazy too. That's why we get along so well. We're just two crazy kids stumbling through life. But we're not kids no more. And I don't want to stumble anymore. I want to walk…happily…..with you."
The crowd that had started to disperse came back at full force as everyone gathered around to watch this moment go down. Cindy's hands both clasped over her mouth. Jimmy smiling, shaking his head, stunned. Carl, even more so. Suddenly everyone fell silent as Sheen carefully opened the box, revealing a small but beautiful, silver ring with a heart shaped diamond in the center.
It was then, that Libby started to cry.
"Will you be crazy with me forever?"
It was a moment, none of them, would ever forget. The way the sun almost illuminated the two of them, like a spotlight on a stage. The way the diamond shimmered as he slid the band onto her finger. The way the tears glistened against her cheeks. The way the crowd cheered as Libby nodded her head, the word 'yes' carried through the breeze. The way she pulled Sheen into a kiss, her arms wrapping around his neck, and the way they cried together, swaying peacefully in the Retroville High Courtyard.
As the couple broke apart, Cindy pulled Libby into a hug, both girls giving into their emotions and no longer caring about their already ruined make-up. The ring on Libby's finger gleamed as she held it up into the sunlight. Cindy hated to admit that a small, small part of her was just a little bit jealous. Carl patted Sheen on the back, head still shaking with astonishment while Jimmy pulled him into his own embrace. They never did this. But it felt right as Sheen wiped away his tears and the three of them suddenly fell into a fit of joyous laughter.
It was Graduation Day. The five of them all exchanging looks, laughs, and tears. Embraces and congratulation's. It was a day of pure happiness and love. A day of growth and reminiscence. A day where the adventure they had been living for the past eighteen years of their life, came to a close. A sad day, in some eyes, and a celebration in others. But regardless of the ceremony of their childhood, the story was not over yet. For there are many adventures in a story. Sometimes, the adventures were endless.
Graduation Day does not solidify the end, it merely marks the completion of a trial, we as humans, go through in life. A Graduation Day can be for many things. For overcoming an obstacle. For completing a journey, physically or mentally. For the birth of many things such as success, fortune, or children. For growth. For lessons. For mistakes. Think of life as a staircase. You're constantly climbing, and there are multiple platforms to reach. And sometimes, those platforms seem so far way. Sometimes, when the darkness is too much, those platforms even seem impossible. But you have to remind yourself that you will get there. You will make it. You may trip and fall. Stumble and lose stamina. But you can and will pick yourself back up, and continue to climb. And when you reach that platform, that at a time seemed so unobtainable, you'll get your Graduation Day. You deserve your Graduation Day.
Everyone deserves a Graduation Day.
Epilogue
It was quiet. The apartment dark, except for the small lamp set upon the bedroom side table. Outside, the rain had finally let up. Allowing the sun to at last peak through the thick thunderstorm clouds. She exhaled, peacefully laying against his chest. Blond strands falling around her face. His hand, slowly combing through her untamed hair. She wore nothing but his favorite tee-shirt. The same one that she had put on, all those months ago, at three o'clock in the morning. The night where everything had started. She was exhausted, but her eyes somehow remained open. Unable to close, as they focused on the pink bassinet set besides their bed. Their daughter, fast asleep.
Her soft words came out into the silence. "Jimmy?"
"Hm?" He was falling asleep, but the sound of her voice caused his eyes to open, curiously.
"What would 12-year-old Jimmy think if he could see this moment?" She whispered. "If he could see us, right now, how would this make him feel?"
She could feel the uneasy breath he took before his chuckle vibrated against her cheek. "Is he alone or with Carl and Sheen?"
Cindy laughed, then. Sitting up to face him. "Does it matter?"
"Actually, it does." Another laugh. "If he's with Carl and Sheen, he's…." He stopped for a second, searching for the right word. He looks at her. "Appalled. Over dramatic."
Cindy giggles. "And if he's alone?"
Jimmy looked off into the distance. His mind searching for the best way to put in words what he's about to say. "He's….confused. He'd feel this….feeling. This feeling that makes his chest hurt, that makes him dizzy. This feeling that makes it hard for him to breathe. This feeling that makes his heart race. This feeling that he's never really felt before and it's so intense, it...it confuses him. It confuses him because he can't identify what this feeling is. And for a self-centered genius, it's frustrating."
He reached up and moved a strand of gold from her eyes as Cindy laughed once more.
A long pause before he continued. "He won't identify this feeling until much later on in life, but what he can identify, and understand…is that he's happy."
"Happy?" Her voice was so soft, her eyes concentrating on his face.
"Yeah. Happy. He's so undeniably happy that he can't hide the smile on his face. He can't hide the fact that this moment makes him feel, so much." He placed his hands on both sides of her face, now. His thumb brushing over her lips. His eyes taking in the way she stared up at him. "He's so incredibly fucking happy, Cindy. He's so happy that this is what he has to look forward to. That this is where he's going to end up."
She didn't want to cry, but the tears rolling down her cheeks had other plans. "So I guess it's a happy ending?"
"This isn't an ending." Said Jimmy as he wiped away the fresh tears. "It's a beginning."
Melanie stirred in the bassinet next to them. His words lost as he pulled her forward and pressed his lips against hers. Outside, the sun began to set. The sky turned a brilliant and vibrant pink.
How fitting.
Author's Note
I never thought I would be here, writing an author's note at the end of my first ever fully complete story. It's bittersweet. I never thought in a million years anyone would ever read my work and become a fan. It's my dream to be a real published author one day and obviously, that kind of stuff takes time. So until I'm able to obtain that dream, writing stories for all of you to read fills the void in my heart and bring me joy in the hardest of times. Thank you. Truly. For everything. I love each and every one of you.
This is not the End: Introducing, Indigo
This may be the end of Pink, but the universe has many more adventures to unravel. And Indigo is one of them. For those of you who have not heard, there is sequel to Pink. Indigo will be the continuation of the Pink universe.
All current chapter's of Indigo can be found by heading to my profile!
If you enjoy my works, I encourage you to: Follow me on here as an author, head to my profile to check out what else I have on this site, follow my official fanfiction tumblr known as Imaginationandcoffee, check out my Ao3 page known as SaraTheKhaleesi, and leave a review to let me know what you think!
Again, thank you all. This has been Pink.
I'll see you in the next one.
Sara