Paralyzed

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A/N-thank you to everyone who kindly reviewed the last chapter.

Chapter Twenty-Eight-Change of Plan

Every memory of his childhood with Han and Leia played like a song in Ben's head as he went to find Rey. He had never experienced grief on this scale before. This was the first time he had really allowed himself to feel it. Ben realised it was a double onslaught of grief, he wasn't just mourning his mother, but was finally allowing himself to mourn his father as well. He had lost a big part of himself, a part that he could never get back. And he wanted it so bad, but it was all gone, vanished in thin air. He could never get back all those wasted years.

"Rey, where are you?" He called to her telepathically.

"The training ground." Rey answered him dully.

She sounded tired and out of sorts. Ben knew that she was grieving too, but this apathy had been going on for a while. There was something seriously wrong and the knowledge only increased his stress. His grief came in waves and threatened to consume him entirely. It was his master, for now. He was at the mercy of its whims and at times it bit at him with such ferocity that it only compounded his fears that not only had he lost his mother, but he was slowly losing Rey as well. He couldn't think of any other explanation as to why she would shut him out so completely.

Fear gripped his heart, the numbness pounding his brain, the sheer terror that took hold of his soul threatened to engulf him entirely. If she left him, he would be left with nothing, he would be nothing. As much as he dreaded facing her, his legs still carried him forward. He would hear what she had to say, even if it killed him. She was right where she said she would be. The leafy jungle folded around Ben like it was taking possession of him as he stood quietly falling apart in front of her. Whispering her name was all he could manage before his legs buckled, his knees sinking into the sodden earth as the tears began to fall unchecked from his eyes.

Ben's collapse pulled Rey from her melancholy. She ran to him, wrapping her arms around him, feeling him calm down instantly at her touch. He swept her up in his embrace as he pulled her onto his lap and hugged her tightly. Her fingers found their way into his hair as he rocked back and forth.

"Ben, oh, Ben." Rey said sadly. "I'm so sorry." She kissed his temple and tried to gather as much of him in her arms as she possibly could in order to hold him together. "I'm here. I'm right here."

He sobbed unceasingly, hands clutching at her like a man drowning. Rey continued to hold him, letting his tears soak through the thin material of her tunic. A tiny lapse let him pull away, blinking lashes heavy with tears, his breathing shallow. "I'm losing you." He said hoarsely.

His words took Rey completely by surprise. She stared at him, dumbfounded, confused at how he had come to that conclusion. "Why would you think that?" She asked, the pain evident in her voice. "Actually, I can't believe you would think that! After everything!" She escaped his stranglehold on her and climbed off of his lap.

"Rey?" Ben breathed as he looked up at her lovely face. She was angry. Raging in fact. "What am I supposed to think? You continually shut me out. You've put up walls around yourself and I don't understand why."

Rey felt the tension and the intensity of his tone. His words were raw with emotion. It was true. She had been shutting him out. Not purposely. She needed time to think, to gather her thoughts and absorb everything that had happened to her. She tried to dampen down the irrational anger and resentment that made her want to verbally lash out at him. Her pitiful attempt not to burden him with more worry had backfired and was causing him unnecessary suffering. So instead of being defensive she reached out to him, telling him that she accepted and understood what had caused him to think that way, that if the situations were reversed, she would feel it too.

"You're grieving, Ben." Rey explained as he stood up and she walked right into his open arms.

"And so are you." Ben reminded her with a gentle kiss on her forehead as he cradled her in his strong arms. "I don't want you to think that you have to hide things from me. I hate secrets, Rey. Whatever you're thinking or feeling, even if you think it's going to hurt me, I want to know."

Rey hid her face against his broad chest and closed her eyes. She felt his love surround her like a warm cocoon. She felt safe. Protected. She snuggled closer and his arms squeezed a fraction tighter. Rey breathed more slowly, her body melting into Ben's as every muscle lost its tension and she finally dropped her guard and let him in. "I'm pregnant."

Ben knelt in front of her, hands resting on her hips, his eyes closed and cheek pressed against her abdomen. Rey ran her fingers indulgently through the thick strands of his silky black hair. She revelled in the inner peace that was flowing from him to her now that she had completely opened up their bond again. Even though he hadn't spoken any words since he had dropped to his knees in front of her, his joy brought with it a soft happiness, a feeling that was akin to gratitude and awe.

"It was why Leia wanted to speak to me alone. She knew. She felt the baby through the Force." Rey confessed.

Ben raised his head and looked up at her, smiling through the tears that remained suspended in his warm brown eyes. Happiness flowed through Rey, warming her skin like the rays of an early summer sun. Her customary cautious grin exploded into a radiant smile that she had never worn before. Everything was going to be alright now, she had Ben and he had her. They were a team. She should have trusted him with the truth right away instead of hurting them both with her silence.

"I was scared." She admitted with a soft sigh.

"I don't want you to feel that way." Ben responded gently as he climbed to his feet and pulled her back into the sanctuary of his arms again. "I promise I'll look after you, Rey. Both of you." He touched her stomach with reverent fingers as he reached out with the Force. He felt the strength of Rey's Force energy tangled with his, and underneath that he sensed something else, another energy….no more than one…he pulled back in surprise and Rey gazed up at him with wide, innocent eyes.

"What is it?" She asked tentatively.

"Rey, I think…." Ben paused, checking again in case he was deluding himself. No, he was certain he could sense twin Force energies emanating from Rey.

"Ben, what?" Rey demanded anxiously. His silence was freaking her out.

"I think you're carrying twins." Ben answered carefully as he waited out her reaction.

Rey stared at him, looking for any sign that he might be teasing, but he looked deadly serious. "You're not joking?"

Ben shook his head. "If you really focus, you'll be able to feel it, too." Rey's face paled. "Are you okay? Rey, tell me you're okay."

"I feel sick." Rey gasped as she turned away from him.

And she was.

"Are you feeling better now?" Harter asked Rey kindly.

"Yeah." Rey still felt a little queasy, but other than that she was fine.

"Good." Harter smiled. "I'm glad you decided to tell him." She said, glancing toward Ben, who was pacing anxiously up and down outside the cubicle.

"You were right." Rey conceded grudgingly.

"I usually am." Harter's laugh quickly turned to a grimace when Rey began to retch again. She hastily passed the poor young Jedi a bowl. "There, there." She soothed, rubbing Rey's back gently.

"I can't go on like this." Rey moaned as she clutched the bowl tightly in her hands.

"I can give you a shot that will help ease the queasiness, but the morning sickness will go on for a while yet." Harter was full of sympathy as she continued to rub Rey's lower back in gentle circles. She motioned for Ben to come in.

He hastened to Rey's side, taking her hot face in his hands. "Are you okay?" He asked in concern.

"She will be." Harter assured him quickly. "May I have a word?" She asked quietly.

Ben felt his heart rate pick up again as he followed Kalonia outside the cubicle again out of earshot of Rey. "You said there was nothing wrong." He accused her in a low voice.

"And there isn't…yet."

"What does that mean?" Ben demanded.

"She can't go back with you." Harter told him. "It's too dangerous for her. She needs to rest. Any undue stress could put the baby at risk."

"I know that." Ben's dark brown eyes flicked to Rey. She was lying back on the examination table, her arm covering her face in exhaustion. "But she won't stay behind if I go. I know her, she'd just follow me anyway."

"She's as stubborn as your mother always was." Harter complained irritably. "What are you going to do?"

"I honestly don't know." Ben ran his fingers through his hair restlessly as he pondered his next course of action. "Can you stay with her for a while?" He asked after a while.

"Of course. But where are you going?" Harter looked at him curiously.

"To talk to Dameron." Ben revealed. "I think its time for another change of plan."

A/N-thanks for reading. Please review if you have the time.