Severus stood in the doorway of the Charms classroom completely silent, body stiff and tense, and eyes trained on Hermione. Her back was to him. She was organizing textbooks on a back table. When she turned around, she jumped when she saw him, dressed entirely in black, in her doorway.
Her hand covered her chest briefly and she looked away from him. "Severus... You need to wear bell around your neck," She said. She glanced back toward him. His eyes were downcast, his black hair fell in curtains around his pale face. He looked very much like his tail was between his legs. "How long have you been standing there?"
He furrowed his brow and was quiet for a long moment. "I am not sure," He admitted. "A while."
"Why?" She asked and crossed her arms. There was a faint chill in her voice. He looked at her with a pained look, and then he dropped his eyes back to the floor. "Why?" She repeated.
"If you think I am just going to become some apologetic lap dog..." He growled lowly, but there was little malice in his voice. Instead, he just sounded defeated.
"That's not at all what I think," She snapped at him. "You were an arse, so I think it's fair that I expect an apology."
He glared at her, and then his face softened. "I know."
"Okay, so..."
He growled and ran a hand through his hair. "Perhaps you should have married someone more apologetic then."
"That is a purposeless line of thought," She said sharply. "I am married to you."
"Yes," He said in a low hiss. "As such, you should expect apologies to be few and far between."
She couldn't mask the hurt on her face. "Why are you here then?" She growled.
He grew quiet, tensing at her tone. He scowled briefly, but his face softened after a moment. "I am sorry, Hermione. Damn it," He said and took a deep breath. "I am sorry. I was unfair and unkind."
She looked at him, and then pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep steadying breath. "Severus, this doesn't need to be so difficult..."
"I am difficult," He said quietly.
"What is going on in your head? I ask why you've been distant, you said you're overwhelmed, I try to be understanding, and we end up here..." She sighed. "It's all very confusing."
"May I come in?" He asked. She looked up and seemed to realize he was still standing in the doorway. She didn't realize he was waiting on an invitation. She nodded and he stepped inside. He pulled the classroom door closed behind him. He walked slowly toward her, and leaned his back against the row of bench desks off to the right of her.
"I am overwhelmed," He admitted once again.
"By me?"
"Yes, and no," He said.
"Can you speak plainly? I'm not a Slytherin. The subtly here is driving me mad..."
"I am overwhelmed by my feelings for you," He said bluntly. Her mouth snapped shut and she looked at him with wide eyes. "Mostly, I am overwhelmed that I have any such feelings at all." He looked away from her.
She was very quiet, trying to process what he was still leaving to be read between the lines. "Okay," She said after a few minutes. "Feelings for me?"
He tensed. "I enjoy being around you."
"Okay," She said. "Is this... A very roundabout way of you telling me that you like me too?"
He flinched. He disliked very much being called out in any way. He ground his teeth together and closed his eyes. He steadied himself for a moment. "Yes," He admitted softly.
"We're married, Severus," She said. "You can talk to me about these things."
He winced. "That might seem easy for you, but it is not for me."
"I understand, Severus, but I also need you to understand that I am not the enemy," She said quietly. "We're married. I know this isn't what either of us envisioned for our lives, but one of the benefits of this is that we have been given a very intimate level of security with one another. Spouses have a lot of protected rights," She said.
"Though rare, we still have bitter divorces in our world as well," He pointed out with a heavy sadness. "Nothing is permanent."
She ran a hair through her curly hair. "I'm not entirely sure what you think of me as a person, but I would absolutely not betray you, even if we somehow were to end up separated."
He looked at her seriously. "You do not think we will end up separating?"
"Like you said, divorce is rare in our world. If we don't produce a child in 5 years, I think they'd give us an opportunity to separate, but I don't know," She shrugged. "It's not what we wanted, but I'm... I like you, and for the most part, I am happy with how things have been going. Mornings like this being the exception, of course."
"Would you want that?" He asked. There was a childlike tone on his voice, and she studied him for a moment.
"To divorce?" She clarified, and he nodded. "No."
"How can you answer that so readily?" He asked with a faint sneer. "Tell me you haven't deluded yourself into thinking this is love?"
Then, she did something completely unexpected. She laughed - a full, rich laugh, and his eyes widened in confusion. He'd expected her to lash out at him. When she settled herself, she said, "I'm not a school girl, Severus. Of course it isn't love. Not now at least, but that doesn't mean it couldn't grow to be."
He recoiled as if she'd slapped him clean across the face. He retreated several steps. His heart was racing, and he could hear the pounding of it in his ears. He felt a bit lightheaded. Love. His stomach churned.
She studied him. "Severus, relax." His hands were balled into shaky fists at his sides. He swallowed hard. She approached him. He didn't back away. "It's been good so far. It doesn't need to be anything more or anything other than what it is right now. Let it be. Don't pick at it."
He scoffed, "If only it were so easy."
"I've been hurt in life, too, Severus. I am not without scars - mental, physical, emotional. I have them, too," She said. "Let it be what it is."
"I cannot just let it be!" He growled and backed away from her. "I do not know what to make of any of this. I find myself at a loss, and I do not like feeling at a loss."
"What are you at a loss about?"
He looked back at her with piercing eyes.
Something flashed behind his eyes - hesitation, and then a decision. "I want to kiss you just to bloody kiss you, and not to have it lead to anything sexual."
"Okay?" She said and shrugged. "Why are you at a loss about that?"
"Because that is romantic." There was a self-disgust in his voice.
"So was a weekend in Paris," She added.
"You are infuriating," He said lowly.
"So are you," She did and cocked an eyebrow. His dark eyes travelled to her lips. "Do it, Severus." He looked anxiously back at her face. "Don't pick at it. Just let it be."
He stepped forward slowly, as if he might suddenly panic and bolt at the slightly movement from her. Leaning down, he pressed his lips against hers softly. It was a brief kiss, but intimate in a way they hadn't really been yet.
She sighed as his lips left hers, and she wrapped her arms around him. He hesitated. "I forgive you," She said into his robes. He shivered, and wrapped his arms around her in return.