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Chapter 23: Fourth Year (Part 11)
16th August. 1998. 7.00pm...
"Next memory is our first lesson with Hagrid. Not terribly important but you'd get confused later on without this memory." Harry explained.
"Skrewt's?" Ron asked quietly. Harry nodded.
Hagrid was standing outside his hut, one hand on the collar of his enormous black boarhound, Fang. There were several open wooden crates on the ground at his feet, and Fang was whimpering and straining at his collar, apparently keen to investigate the contents more closely. As they drew nearer, an odd rattling noise reached their ears, punctuated by what sounded like minor explosions.
"Mornin'!" Hagrid said, grinning at Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "Be'er wait fer the Slytherins, they won' want ter miss this - Blast-Ended Skrewts!"
"What?" Frank asked.
"Come again?" said Ron.
Hagrid pointed down into the crates.
"Eurgh!" squealed Lavender Brown, jumping backward. "Eurgh" just about summed up the Blast-Ended Skrewts in Harry's opinion. They looked like deformed, shell-less lobsters, horribly pale and slimy-looking, with legs sticking out in very odd places and no visible heads. There were about a hundred of them in each crate, each about six inches long, crawling over one another, bumping blindly into the sides of the boxes. They were giving off a very powerful smell of rotting fish. Every now and then, sparks would fly out of the end of a skrewt, and with a small phut, it would be propelled forward several inches.
"On'y jus' hatched," said Hagrid proudly, "so yeh'll be able ter raise 'em yerselves! Thought we'd make a bit of a project of it!"
"Oh, yay!" James said sarcastically.
"And why would we want to raise them?" said a cold voice.
The Slytherins had arrived. The speaker was Draco Malfoy. Crabbe and Goyle were chuckling appreciatively at his words.
Hagrid looked stumped at the question.
"I mean, what do they do?" asked Malfoy. "What is the point of them?"
Hagrid opened his mouth, apparently thinking hard; there was a few seconds' pause, then he said roughly, "Tha's next lesson, Malfoy. Yer jus' feedin' 'em today. Now, yeh'll wan' ter try 'em on a few diff'rent things - I've never had 'em before, not sure what they'll go fer - I got ant eggs an' frog livers an' a bit o' grass snake - just try 'em out with a bit of each."
"First pus and now this," muttered Seamus.
Nothing but deep affection for Hagrid could have made Harry, Ron, and Hermione pick up squelchy handfuls of frog liver and lower them into the crates to tempt the Blast-Ended Skrewts. Harry couldn't suppress the suspicion that the whole thing was entirely pointless, because the skrewts didn't seem to have mouths.
"Ouch!" yelled Dean Thomas after about ten minutes. "It got me."
Hagrid hurried over to him, looking anxious.
"Its end exploded!" said Dean angrily, showing Hagrid a burn on his hand.
"Ah, yeah, that can happen when they blast off," said Hagrid, nodding.
"Eurgh!" said Lavender Brown again. "Eurgh, Hagrid, what's that pointy thing on it?"
"Ah, some of 'em have got stings," said Hagrid enthusiastically (Lavender quickly withdrew her hand from the box). "I reckon they're the males... The females've got sorta sucker things on their bellies... I think they might be ter suck blood."
"Well, I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive," said Malfoy sarcastically. "Who wouldn't want pets that can burn, sting, and bite all at once?"
"Just because they're not very pretty, it doesn't mean they're not useful," Hermione snapped. "Dragon blood's amazingly magical, but you wouldn't want a dragon for a pet, would you?"
"You knew that reminded me of 1st year? When Hagrid actually did have a dragon." Draco smirked.
"I didnt think about that at the time." Hermione admitted.
Harry and Ron grinned at Hagrid, who gave them a furtive smile from behind his bushy beard. Hagrid would have liked nothing better than a pet dragon, as Harry, Ron, and Hermione knew only too well - he had owned one for a brief period during their first year, a vicious Norwegian Ridgeback by the name of Norbert. Hagrid simply loved monstrous creatures, the more lethal, the better.
"Well, at least the skrewts are small,"
"For now." Harry muttered.
said Ron as they made their way back up to the castle for lunch an hour later.
"They are now," said Hermione in an exasperated voice, "but once Hagrid's found out what they eat, I expect they'll be six feet long."
"Well, that won't matter if they turn out to cure seasickness or something, will it?" said Ron, grinning slyly at her.
"You know perfectly well I only said that to shut Malfoy up," said Hermione. "As a matter of fact I think he's right. The best thing to do would be to stamp on the lot of them before they start attacking us all."
"You agreed with something Draco said!" Fred asked shocked.
"And that was when we still hated each other." Draco grinned.
"You were right about the Skrewt's though. Pain in the back end if you ask me." Harry muttered. "They were only good for giving you injuries."
"And giving you exercise." Ron added.
"Exactly. Let's continue, I just needed to show you lot what the Skrewt's were." Harry explained, "The next one is the reason Draco get's called ferret boy when he annoys us."
"Urgh!" Draco groaned, "Please dont show that one."
"Sorry but it's important." Harry chuckled, "Or at least what you point out to us is."
"Miserable old bat," said Ron bitterly as they joined the crowds descending the staircases back to the Great Hall and dinner. "That'll take all weekend, that will..."
"Who -" Sirius started.
"Trelawny gave us a ton of homework because Ron told a joke." Harry explained, "Divination." he added to Frank and Alice who looked confused.
"Lots of homework?" said Hermione brightly, catching up with them. "Professor Vector didn't give us any at all!"
"Well, bully for Professor Vector," said Ron moodily.
They reached the entrance hall, which was packed with people queuing for dinner. They had just joined the end of the line, when a loud voice rang out behind them.
"Weasley! Hey, Weasley!"
Harry, Ron, and Hermione turned. Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle were standing there, each looking thoroughly pleased about something.
"What?" said Ron shortly.
"Your dad's in the paper, Weasley!" said Malfoy, brandishing a copy of the Daily Prophet and speaking very loudly, so that everyone in the packed entrance hall could hear. "Listen to this!
FURTHER MISTAKES AT THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC
It seems as though the Ministry of Magic's troubles are not yet at an end, writes Rita Skeeter,"
"Skeeter's worse than Skrewt's." Remus muttered making everyone who knew her laugh.
"Special Correspondent. Recently under fire for its poor crowd control at the Quidditch World Cup, and still unable to account for the disappearance of one of its witches, the Ministry was plunged into fresh embarrassment yesterday by the antics of Arnold Weasley,"
"Couldn't she at least get his name right?" Hermione made a face.
"of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office."
Malfoy looked up.
"Imagine them not even getting his name right, Weasley. It's almost as though he's a complete nonentity, isn't it?" he crowed.
Everyone in the entrance hall was listening now. Malfoy straightened the paper with a flourish and read on:
"Arnold Weasley, who was charged with possession of a flying car two years ago, was yesterday involved in a tussle with several Muggle law-keepers ("policemen") over a number of highly aggressive dustbins. Mr. Weasley appears to have rushed to the aid of "Mad-Eye" Moody, the aged ex-Auror who retired from the Ministry when no longer able to tell the difference between a handshake and attempted murder. Unsurprisingly, Mr. Weasley found, upon arrival at Mr. Moody's heavily guarded house, that Mr. Moody had once again raised a false alarm. Mr. Weasley was forced to modify several memories before he could escape from the policemen, but refused to answer Daily Prophet questions about why he had involved the Ministry in such an undignified and potentially embarrassing scene.
And there's a picture, Weasley!" said Malfoy, flipping the paper over and holding it up. "A picture of your parents outside their house - if you can call it a house! Your mother could do with losing a bit of weight, couldn't she?"
Ron was shaking with fury. Everyone was staring at him.
"Get stuffed, Malfoy," said Harry. "C'mon, Ron..."
"Oh yeah, you were staying with them this summer, weren't you, Potter?" sneered Malfoy. "So tell me, is his mother really that porky, or is it just the picture?"
Everyone was glaring at Draco by now; he looked very ashamed and apologetic, his face was red.
"You know your mother, Malfoy?" said Harry - both he and Hermione had grabbed the back of Ron's robes to stop him from launching himself at Malfoy - "that expression she's got, like she's got dung under her nose? Has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?"
"Nope. That was Lucius." Cissy smirked.
Malfoy's pale face went slightly pink.
"Don't you dare insult my mother, Potter."
"Never really understood that." Hermione muttered, "You stood and insulted Mr and Mrs Weasley but we weren't allowed to say anything about your parents."
"That would have been because of the spell's Lucius had on him." Cissy sighed, "Loyalty potions didnt help Draco's attitude much either."
"And I'm really sorry about that." Draco winced.
"Keep your fat mouth shut, then," said Harry, turning away.
BANG!
Several people screamed - Harry felt something white-hot graze the side of his face - he plunged his hand into his robes for his wand, but before he'd even touched it, he heard a second loud BANG, and a roar that echoed through the entrance hall.
"OH NO YOU DON'T, LADDIE!"
Harry spun around. Professor Moody was limping down the marble staircase. His wand was out and it was pointing right at a pure white ferret, which was shivering on the stone-flagged floor, exactly where Malfoy had been standing.
There was a terrified silence in the entrance hall. Nobody but Moody was moving a muscle. Moody turned to look at Harry - at least, his normal eye was looking at Harry; the other one was pointing into the back of his head.
"Did he get you?" Moody growled. His voice was low and gravelly.
"No," said Harry, "missed."
"You really do need to work on your aim." Harry told Draco who shrugged.
"Thought you'd be glad I missed on that occasion."
"LEAVE IT!" Moody shouted.
"Leave - what?" Harry said, bewildered.
"Not you - him!" Moody growled, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at Crabbe, who had just frozen, about to pick up the white ferret. It seemed that Moody's rolling eye was magical and could see out of the back of his head.
"I'm not sure whether to say that's cool or gross." Dudley muttered.
A few people laughed and nodded in agreement.
Moody started to limp toward Crabbe, Goyle, and the ferret, which gave a terrified squeak and took off, streaking toward the dungeons.
"I don't think so!" roared Moody, pointing his wand at the ferret again - it flew ten feet into the air, fell with a smack to the floor, and then bounced upward once more.
"I don't like people who attack when their opponent's back's turned," growled Moody as the ferret bounced higher and higher, squealing in pain. "Stinking, cowardly, scummy thing to do..."
"I never heard about this, why?" Cissy asked, turning to glare at her son.
"I wasnt going to tell you I was turned into a ferret by a teacher then humiliated in front of a large amount of people." Draco protested, "Would you have believed me anyway?"
"If Severus could confirm it then, yes."
The ferret flew through the air, its legs and tail flailing helplessly. "Never - do - that - again -" said Moody, speaking each word as the ferret hit the stone floor and bounced upward again.
"Professor Moody!" said a shocked voice.
Professor McGonagall was coming down the marble staircase with her arms full of books.
"Hello, Professor McGonagall," said Moody calmly, bouncing the ferret still higher.
"What - what are you doing?" said Professor McGonagall, her eyes following the bouncing ferret's progress through the air.
"Teaching," said Moody.
"Teach - Moody, is that a student?" shrieked Professor McGonagall, the books spilling out of her arms.
"Yep," said Moody.
"No!" cried Professor McGonagall, running down the stairs and pulling out her wand; a moment later, with a loud snapping noise, Draco Malfoy had reappeared, lying in a heap on the floor with his sleek blond hair all over his now brilliantly pink face. He got to his feet, wincing.
"You were okay weren't you?" Amber asked worriedly.
"Yeah. I had quite a few bruises and a cracked rib but nothing life threatening." he shrugged.
"It wasnt that bad." Astoria agreed, "It was me who fixed him up. I put the bruise balm on for him and gave him some pain reducer before fixing his rib."
"You should have gone to Poppy." Lily frowned.
"He knew I had been healing things since I was 9. My Mum thought I needed to know the basics and then taught me more after my 1st year." Astoria explained. "It came in handy for minor injuries."
"Moody, we never use Transfiguration as a punishment!" said Professor McGonagall wealdy. "Surely Professor Dumbledore told you that?"
"He might've mentioned it, yeah," said Moody, scratching his chin unconcernedly, "but I thought a good sharp shock -"
"We give detentions, Moody! Or speak to the offender's Head of House!"
"I'll do that, then," said Moody, staring at Malfoy with great dislike.
Malfoy, whose pale eyes were still watering with pain and humiliation, looked malevolently up at Moody and muttered something in which the words "my father" were distinguishable.
"Oh yeah?" said Moody quietly, limping forward a few steps, the dull clunk of his wooden leg echoing around the hall. "Well, I know your father of old, boy... You tell him Moody's keeping a close eye on his son... you tell him that from me... Now, your Head of House'll be Snape, will it?"
"Yes," said Malfoy resentfully.
"Another old friend," growled Moody. "I've been looking forward to a chat with old Snape... Come on, you..."
And he seized Malfoy's upper arm and marched him off toward the dungeons.
Professor McGonagall stared anxiously after them for a few moments, then waved her wand at her fallen books, causing them to soar up into the air and back into her arms.
"Don't talk to me," Ron said
"Why?" Draco asked.
Ron, Hermione and Harry grinned, "You'll see."
quietly to Harry and Hermione as they sat down at the Gryffindor table a few minutes later, surrounded by excited talk on all sides about what had just happened.
"Why not?" said Hermione in surprise.
"Because I want to fix that in my memory forever," said Ron, his eyes closed and an uplifted expression on his face. "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret."
"I should have known." Draco muttered.
"Come on. It could've been worse." Ron smirked, "He could have turned you into a ferret again after Minerva left and left you like that until someone else changed you back." he said cheerfully.
"Or he could have turned you into something worse." Hermione put in.
"Like what?"
"Like a chicken." Harry cheerfully supplied.
"You three are too damn cheerful about things." Draco sighed.
"We've learned to look on the bright side of things." Hermione shrugged, "In the word's of Albus Dumbledore 'Light can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light'."
"And it's better seeing the good in everything than it is only seeing the bad." Ginny smiled. "Sometimes it's difficult but it's always possible."
"Alright I get the message." Draco smiled, "It's better looking at that event as a lesson on not being a coward and cursing from behind rather than focusing on being humiliated."
"Just be glad your not Lucius. He had to deal with us on a daily basis." Sirius smirked.
"Most of Slytherin had to deal with the Marauders on a daily basis." Regulus pointed out, "And you could be quite mean with some of it too."
"Maybe not the best idea to go into that." Remus said wincing, "We know we were idiots, you don't need to rub it in." the two dark-haired Marauders nodded.
"Wasn't going to. I was just saying you could be mean." Regulus shrugged.
"And don't deny it." Sirius advised James who had been about to say something, "Harry already knows a few of our worst bit's."
Harry nodded, "And I found out more in May." he admitted.
James looked ashamed as did Sirius, Remus just looked guilty.
"Anyway let's move on." Harry smiled.