A/N - CONTENT WARNING: suggestive sexual content. that good ol' kristanna goodness. nothing terribly graphic, but if it's uncomfortable for you, skip to the nineteenth line/paragraph! :)
Thanks for all the love and support! I really appreciate it! I found the archives of a fic I did in 2014 and it had over 200 reviews and 130k views and I-
2020 me could never.
Anyways.. Enjoy!
He kissed her softly. Her neck; her jaw; her lips. They were breathing in each other's breath; their bodies intertwined; their hands grabbing anything those desperate fingers could wrap around. Life was perfect. They were in for the long run, and they knew it. Their kingdom was thriving. Their relationships were thriving. Elsa was happy. They were all at peace. They had routine. Security. Communication.
She moaned into his ear. "Kristoff…"
He grabbed her thigh in his hand, squeezing tight. "Tell me what you want."
She leaned her head back, giving him more access to the sensitive skin on her neck. She put her hands on the back of his head and pulled him closer. She'd barely managed to whisper a few words, but he couldn't hear them. They seemed to dissipate into thin air.
Her birthday was at the end of the week. She was turning twenty-one. A milestone. They were about to celebrate their three-year anniversary; it was only a month away. They had summer festivals to look forward to. How could life be so good?
"Kristoff…" She was desperate. "Please…"
It used to be easy to tease. There was a point when it was fun; a game. But now, the desperation went both ways. Now they truly knew each other. They weren't experimenting. They knew what they were doing. He didn't hesitate. Things escalated quickly. He kept his hand over her mouth to silence her, knowing that just down the hall, Elsa was planning for the upcoming party.
Anna had been against it at first; she didn't want to make a big deal of it. She wanted a peaceful evening with her family, and to end the night with… grown up time. That was it. Elsa pushed for a celebration, insisting that Anna was worth celebrating. "The people will be disappointed if you hide," she'd reminded her. "They want to celebrate you. Besides; free desert!"
It was a difficult thing to pass up. Free desert? Unlimited cake? "Ha! Twist my arm. Make me," she'd teased. This party was happening, and Elsa was more than excited to host it. It was going to be full of surprises.
A part of her missed sharing a room with her best friend, but she did enjoy having her own space. And now that Kristoff was living with them, it was definitely better for privacy's sake that they stay separated. Elsa didn't want to think about what they got up to when they disappeared behind that door. She had been naive enough to assume they simply talked; played games; acted like children. And then Anna made a very inappropriate joke at a very inappropriate moment, and it became abundantly clear that she wasn't a child anymore. It was a moment so traumatising, Elsa struggled to think of anything else when the three of them were speaking with strangers. She'd always feared Anna was going to say something else and add to her endless humiliation. Of course, once the couple realised they had the upperhand in making Elsa uncomfortable, they made sure to fit in a subtle reminder that they were adults whenever they could. It was all in good fun.
Elsa didn't like the idea of them being adults. She didn't like to actively think about the fact that they were women. She was fast approaching her mid-twenties, and it didn't sit right with her. She still felt like she'd missed out on so much. There were so many things they were supposed to do together, and didn't. Somethings cannot be remade. They'd simply missed out.
It didn't matter. Anna was happy. Her age was irrelevant.
That was a lie. Elsa sank in her seat, letting out a breath. Twenty-one. She put her hand on her forehead in disbelief. Where did the time go? She looked at a photograph framed on her desk. A photo of her and Anna, arms wrapped around each other. It was blurred slightly, because Anna had decided to pull Elsa downwards just as the image was captured. The intention was to get a candid, unposed photo- and it worked. They were laughing. Smiling brightly; Elsa's eyes shut tight in joy, and mild pain as Anna had a handful of her hair. And that smile that Anna had on her face; that sheer joy in her eyes as she stared into the lens. It was so them. It made her smile.
Anna's nineteenth birthday hadn't gone according to plan, and she'd refused to celebrate her twentieth. They'd spent the entire month of June that year doing absolutely nothing. That was her wish. A peaceful, carefree birthday month, surrounded by her favourite people. But this year they were going to celebrate. Hopefully.
Elsa stood. She needed a break. She made her way out of her room and down the hall to the door of the bedroom she'd once shared. She lifted her hand to knock, but stopped. She leaned in, pressing her ear to the wood. After a moment, her eyes widened and she took a step back. Maybe later.
Anna had her nails digging deep into her lovers' back. She could hardly muster any noise; she was paralysed with pleasure. Kristoff bit into her shoulder as they reached their climax together, bodies soon falling limp. She'd let out a couple of heavy breaths, releasing her grip. She could feel the blood under her nails. Guilt tangled in her gut for a moment before she felt him kiss her cheek. She smiled breathlessly and pulled him closer. "I'm in love with you." Her words were breathy and hollow, but full of love and meaning.
He intended to reply the same, but the words simply wouldn't come out. He lied still, breathing into her ear, hands tangled in her hair. She didn't need to hear it. She knew it. She knew it undoubtedly. "Anna…"
She ran her fingers through his hair, dragging her bottom lip up the side of his face. She lowered her chin and met his eyes. Her expression; the arousal in her eyes was enough to kill a man. How any person could be so hot was beyond him. How dare she? She repeated her words; "I'm in love with you."
He kissed her. She repeated her words. He kissed her again. She repeated. They smiled together. If they could get any closer…
That was over a year ago. Months before everything went wrong. She was twenty-two now- a birthday that was barely acknowledged. Of course Kristoff tried, but they weren't in the mood at the time. Now they knew subconsciously they had to make twenty-three the most memorable day of her life. The life that had been threatened endlessly. Birthday's had become important to them. Elsa hadn't made it to her twenty-fifth. One month before. It made the holiday season feel empty.
They had faith now, though. Hope that things could be normal. Except Anna felt like things would never be normal again, under any circumstances. The damage was too extensive now. She was shattered to her core. She had no real trust. She couldn't. She was always betrayed; always hurt. She had an endless love and trust in Kristoff. That was the only exception: Him. Everything else made her wary.
Now was a perfect example of that. She was back in her arms. Those cold, skinny arms. Her head pressed against a familiar chest. The smell of cold filling her lungs. Elsa… Another dream. It had to be another dream.
"Anna!" The sound of Kristoff's concerned-filled voice snapped the queen out of her daze. She sat up, breaking the hug. She couldn't focus. People were talking to her, but their voices echoed in her head.
"What happened to her?!"
"I- What the hell happened to you?! Where have you been?!"
"She's freezing, Kristoff!"
He took his jacket off, quickly wrapping it around her. He pulled her close, offering more body heat. He looked at Elsa with a mixed expression of confusion, horror, and relief. "How are you- But she said you were-"
"I was," she said quietly, a bit breathless. "I think I was dead. I-I don't know. I woke up in Ahtohallan. I was alone and hungry and- Everything is very strange."
Anna couldn't breathe. She stared blankly down the riverbank, vision tunnelling. She could see a child a distance away. A little girl with fluffy brown hair. She waved. Anna narrowed her eyes, trying to focus. Then she heard another voice. "Come my darling, homeward bound." It made her breath hitch.
Kristoff noticed. He looked down at her, bracing her up slightly to try and get a look of her face. That's when Elsa panicked, before he could react. "She's not breathing!"
The older adults quickly unwrapped her and laid her flat on the ground. Her gaze stared blankly ahead. They tried waking her from her state, but she didn't flinch.
"Kristoff!"
He knew of her panic attacks. He'd dealt with a fair share of them on his own. He quickly grabbed her arms, "it's okay," he said surely, forcing her to make eye contact. "She's going to be okay. Panicking gets us nowhere. Take a deep breath, okay?"
She nodded, trying to catch her breath. He looked back down at the redhead with concern, trying to contain his own fear. He cupped her face in his hands. Her lips were pale. "Anna, baby… Come back to us."
"It's the spirits."
The voice startled them. They both turned to see Eira and Astrid standing on the other side of the river. "They don't want you to communicate with her," she said to Elsa.
"She's gonna die," Kristoff worried.
Eira shook her head. She pointed at Elsa; "move back. She'll breathe again."
The woman didn't hesitate. She crawled backwards away, and Anna took a gasp of air. Kristoff held her tight, "oh my god, Anna!"
Elsa looked at the woman across the water with fear. She sat up, "you can help us?"
"That's Eira," Kristoff informed her. She looked at him. He was cradling Anna, just barely rocking her. They were clearly distressed. She was clinging to them; horror filled her expression. It pained Elsa deeply. The trauma they'd endured- she understood none of it. "She's a friend," he said.
Elsa looked back to where Eira was standing, and was surprised to see them now on this side of the river, dry. It confused her, but she didn't question it. "I was in Ahtohallan," she explained quickly, desperate for answers. "I was told things while I was trapped there."
"I know," she said simply. "Your mother told you many secrets."
Elsa nodded. "I know how we can fix this. But I need…" she trailed slightly as her gaze turned to Anna, who was paying them no attention. She was staring at Kristoff with tears flowing silently from her eyes; he had a hand on her cheek and was whispering to her in an attempt to calm her. "Did I do that?" her words were barely a whisper. The pain in her sisters' face was unbearable.
"Now is not the time for guilt," Eira reminded her. Elsa looked up as Astrid walked over and knelt in front of her; "do you remember?"
She was confused by the question. Astrid smiled and placed her hand on Elsa's forehead. "Remember."
Her eyes slipped shut. She was suddenly back in Arendelle; it was frozen. She was standing in front of Anna's frozen frame. It made her stomach churn. She staggered back slightly. She stared at the ice; the look on her sisters' face. The fear and pain in her eyes. She was dead. She was gone.
Elsa put her hand on her stomach. She felt sick. This memory had been haunting her since it happened. She hadn't had a real proper night's sleep since this day. To have this memory revamped in high definition made her feel a way that she couldn't describe. She could see the pain. She could compare it to what she'd just seen in person. It wasn't comparable. Somehow, this frozen statue had more life to it than the woman she'd just held. Oh god.
"Are you there?"
She blinked her eyes a few times. Astrid was still staring at her, head tilted slightly. "Did you see?"
"Why did you show me that?" she said with a tone of betrayal.
"Did you say you were sorry?"
She didn't know what to say. Astrid stared relentlessly. It was starting to make her uncomfortable. "I didn't mean to hurt her."
The kid nodded. "I know. It's never what we mean. It's what we do. Intentions don't matter." She shuffled to the side a bit, then turned and pointed at Anna. "Look what you've done."
Elsa felt her heart begin to race. She stared at Anna. She knew without knowing. She knew the pain she'd caused. She knew this was because of her, at least in part. It made her hyper-aware of her wrong-doings. It made her aware of her second chance. Now was her chance to make this right. She had to make things right. "Anna…"
Anna turned her head to face her sister with narrow eyes full of fury and devastation.
A/N - Lots of EA fights and feels coming up. Healing goes both ways. I'm about 5-6 chapters ahead right now so updates will be frequent!
Take care xx