"Ms… Uni," I repeated in a breathy voice.
"Yup yup!" the being responded joyfully. "Please follow me, and I'll take you back to my classroom."
A few of the students shot each other apprehensive looks before scrugging and following Ms. Uni into the next-door classroom. Almost immediately, the atmosphere of the room changed, though I wasn't sure if it was for the better – compared to the serious, confined, and more professional atmosphere of Mr. Pony's classroom, this one felt bright, open, and budding with nature. If Mr. Pony's room was like a nitty-gritty rap song, Ms. Uni's was more like one big country song. It felt simultaneously calming and unnerving.
Ms. Uni strode to the front of the classroom in front of a smart board projector, closing their eyes and grasping a translucent pink ruler. "Now now, friends, we do things a little different in this here room," they squeaked. "While you might have had assigned seats in my, uh, comrade Mr. Pony's room, in this room we're all friends, so you can sit next to whoever you want!"
My inner evil genius began calculating. "Fascinating," it thought, "I'll finally be able to observe the behavioral relaxations of my classmates." For the time being, I knew I was going to sit with Jordan, for the sake of, uh, guiding him while he had amnesia, but I needed two more people to rope into my pyramid scheme. I licked my thumb creatively and closed one of my eyes, trying to figure out who else to sit with. I almost instinctively reached for my you-know-what, but remembered that now was the time to be scrong and make my own decisions. I braced myself, re-steeled my will, and fund myself settling on Jenny and Kristy. They had been with me and helped me during recess yesterday when Jordan had first started scruggling with amnesia, so working with them might be better for him.
I approached the two of them who were conveniently already paired up and seemed to be looking for more people to complete their table. "Hey you two," I began, striking the you-know-I-had-to-do-it-to-em pose, "It looks like we have to split up into groups of four again. Do you guys wanna sit with me and Jordan?"
"Oh, sure thing," replied Kristy, putting her finger to her nose nonchalantly.
"Yeah, that table over there looks open," Jenny agreed, gesturing toward a table with four chairs around it. We went over and took our seats. Jordan looked like something was on his mind. Was he not okay with this arrangement?
"Is something up?" I asked him.
"Huh? No," he replied unconvincingly. "Just, um, thinking about amnesia and stuff." I frowned, unconvinced. I seemed like he was trying to keep something from me, but I decided not to press the issue. After a few minutes, the other students had settled on their groups as well – in the table closest to us sat Skylar, William, Kiki, and Kathleen, while on the other side of the room's tropical print carpet were two other tables, one with Julia, Jacques, Jeremy, and Randy, and another with Kyle, Eli, Owen, and Rachel. I was pretty sure this would be important later, so I made a mental note of it.
"Okay, friends," began Ms. Uni, holding up the translucent pink ruler. "For this class swap, we'll be doing a group activity to, uh," their demeanor suddenly turned quite timid, "build your teamwork and problem solving skills."
"Alright!" said Kathleen energetically, pumping her fists in front of her with determination. "Let's get it, everyone. Teamwork makes the dreamwork!" She then scratched a freckled cheek with one finger. "Uh, so what are we supposed to do?"
"I was getting to that!" replied Ms. Uni in their 2006 Justin Bieber voice, with a frightened expression. "So, I'm going to pass out a card to each of you that has a number on it from 1 to 16. You're not allowed to tell this number to anyone besides the people at your table." Using his elegantly eyelashed eyes, Randy shot a glare at Owen, who just grinned back gleefully. "If you add up all four of these numbers," continued Ms. Uni, "you'll get your table's total score. The goal of the exercise is to make the total score for all four tables 34."
"34?" asked Owen in surprise. "That's a biiig number!"
Julia raised her hand. "Will you permit us to change the numbers on the cards?" she asked. "If not, how will we change our table's total score?"
"Nope!" replied Ms. Uni warmly. "This is where the teamwork part comes in. Now, starting with Table 1 here" - they put their hand on William, Skylar, Kiki, and Kathleen's table - "Each group will have a chance to trade one of their group member's cards with a friend's, but they must be from another table."
Julia's eyes lit up with understanding, and she nodded. "Good, I understand it now. We only need to continue trading between groups until all reach 34."
Eli also raised his hand shyly, while adjusting his helmet. "W-will the total scores for all the tables be v-visible to e-everyone?"
"Also nope!" Ms. Uni looked cheerful. "You have to puzzle out who has what card by trading with them yourself!" After a short pause, they added, "you are all asking such amazing questions! Are there any more before I pass out the cards?" There was no response other than Kiki yawning, and the faint smell of gasoline.
"Alright then! It's time to pass out the cards!" In an attempt to flit around the room daintily, Ms. Uni placed a laminated index card with rounded edges face down on the table in front of each student. It was a shame I didn't have my index card reader on me. With a tremulously trembling hand, I picked up the index card… and looked at it. Jordan, Jenny, and Kristy did the same.
"I got a 2," offered Jenny, lowering her voice so only those at our table could hear.
"Mine is a 12," added Kristy. Jordan and I presented our cards, which were 1 and 5, respectively. Kristy put her hand to her chin and raised one of her eyebrows inquisitively, like Jack Black. "So that means our total is 20."
"We need to get to 34, right?" I suggested. "Let's trade away one of our smaller numbers like Jordan or Jenny's when it's our turn." They nodded in agreement. This sounded like a good plan.
"Okay, friends," spouted Ms. Uni. "Are we all ready to begin?"
"Yes, ma'am," answered Randy for the class.
"Then let's start over here with Table 1," instructed Ms. Uni.
Skylar, William, Kiki, and Kathleen all convened to discuss their trade, like a conglomerate of pungent businessmen. They spoke rapidly and in hushed tones, so I couldn't hear what they were saying.
Suddenly, the perspective shifted. "Okay," said Kathleen with both enthusiasm and determination. "I have the 3, what all cards do you guys have?"
"4," responded Kiki, through the orange-flavored lollipop in her mouth.
"I've got 10," added Skylar.
"And I have 11," said William, which means our total is, uh," he spent a few seconds doing math, "28. And that's less than 34, because 2 is less than 3." he seemed pretty proud of being able to show off the fruits of Randy's tutoring sesh.
In the distance, the voice of a large man could be heard giggling. "This is cool," he said. "I was wondering if I'd be able to see what the other teams were doing."
"Hmm," pondered Kiki. "If we only know what cards the people at this table have, how are we post to know who to trade with?"
"Without, like, remembering who we traded what with, it just comes down to a random pick," agreed Skylar.
William crossed his thick arms and put his hand to his chin, screwing up his face in thought. "Since we need a higher total number, we should probably trade a lower number away."
"That means I should trade," stated Kathleen. "Out of all of us, I have the lowest number."
"Okay," said William, "But with who? It's still random like Skylar said."
"If it's a random pick, why not just go with Maddie again?" suggested Kiki, speaking kinda slowly. "You know, like in the frog giveaway." No one seemed to have any reason to oppose that.
Kathleen stood up. "Okay, I'm going to trade with Maddie." she walked over, exchanged her card with me secretively, and then returned to her seat. I rotated the card. 3. The same number of blind mice, hyenas, wishes granted by a genie, and fairy godmothers.
"What card is it, Maddie?" asked Jenny.
"3," I answered, truthfully, "which means our total is now down to 18."
"Not good. Not good at all," remarked Kristy.
"Yeah," I agreed. "If we need to get our numbers up, we've gotta get rid of some low ones."
Jordan hooked his index finger to the side of his face, looking away thoughtfully. "Ms. Uni said that the cards were numbered from 1 to 16, so if that's true, we should get rid of my 1." He folded out his arm as if he were offering an alternate point of view. "That way, we're guaranteed to get a higher number."
"But who should we trade with?" asked Kristy.
"We only know the cards we have, so far, and that Kathleen has the 5," added Jordan, putting his hand over his nose and his mouth. "And we need way more than 5 to get to 34, so anyone but Kathleen." Was it just me, or was he smarter when he had amnesia? "I'm going to trade with Jacques." Jordan stood up and walked over to the tallest boi in the room, trading cards with him. He returned with a 6.
"Huh," I noticed. "His number is right next to mine, and we sit right next to each other in class."
"Yeah," agreed Jenny. "It was the same for me and Jordan, too."
Jordan re-put his hand over his nose and mouth. "Not only that, but Kathleen started with the 3, and she also sits at our table in Mr. Pony's class. Could the numbers be based on our assigned seats?"
Meanwhile, the third table was discussing similar theories after receiving the 1 from Jordan.
"Jordan had the 1 because he is the line leader," asserted Randy.
"Are you sure of that?" questioned Julia.
"Yes. As Mr. Pony's assistant, I can say that so far, the numbers we have been given correspond to our positions in line."
"I don't know about that, chief," inputted Jeremy, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. "My number is 13, but I don't know if that makes me the 13th person in line."
"I think it seems to hold up so far," regarded Jacques. "Julia is right behind me in line, and her number is 7."
"Right, and I'm 9," added Randy.
"Okay, so if this is true," persisted Jeremy, "How does that help us get to 34?"
"I'll demonstrate to you," said Julia with a darkened expression. She raised her hand as if she was putting on a long, heavy duty rubber glove. "Ms. Uni? Are we permitted to use a piece of paper?"
"Of course!" replied Ms. Uni, grasping their hands together with a loving expression. Taking cue, Julia took a page out of her assignment book and began writing on it with a #2 pencil.
"Then, if the objective is for each table to have 34, and the cards are numbered 1 to 16, it is not enough to just have our total be 34." Julia diagrammed out 2 columns of numbers. "Each of these numbers is a pair that adds up to 17, and all four tables must have any two of these pairs to win. We have to collaborate with other tables."
Randy looked over her work with his ice-blue eyes. "Yes, this looks right to me," he said.
Jacques arched his eyebrows diabolically. "We can also use this paper to keep track of who has what number."
Jeremy looked at the paper with his tired eyes. "This is all based on that there's only 1 of each number," he said "and that they're actually in order."
"Good," replied Julia, adjusting her glasses with one hand and holding out the other as if to accept an ancient coin. "Then let's put Randy's hypothesis to the test. Jacques, who is directly in front of you in line?"
"Maddie," he answered, "but she just traded cards with Kathleen."
"Then, if Randy is correct, trading my 7 to Kathleen should return us the 5."
"Fine by me," responded Jeremy.
Julia rose and traded her 7 for the 5 card. It was now the fourth table's turn.
"Gow!" went Kyle. "So what cards does everyone have? I got 14."
"I have 15," stated Rachel.
"M-mine's 16," said Eli.
"Wow, mine's 16 too!" said Owen. "We've got so much in common, Eli!" Eli unintentionally blushed and tried to cover his eyes by adjusting his helmet nervously.
A sound like a cymbal clapping, but reversed played as Rachel turned to Owen, looking at him through her thick, circular glasses. "You are out of Jacques' earshot," she commented. "Is that your true number?"
Owen put a finger to his mouth and grinned mischievously. "If you don't believe me, why don't we all put our cards face up in the center of the table? I can't exactly trust you either, not after Tienes el Gato."
"G-guys," gulped Eli, placing his face up 16 in the center. "I t-think we're supposed to be a t-team, here."
"Gow," agreed Kyle, putting out his 14.
"Hmph," implied Rachel, putting out her 15.
"Aww," Owen grinned as he put out his 8. "You got me!"
"S-so he was l-lying!" stuttered a shocked Eli.
"I thought it was suspicious that you would also have a 16 card," reasoned Rachel, "since the three of us already share a table and are the last 3 people in line."
"S-so does that mean there a-aren't actually d-duplicates?" wondered Eli.
"Well, now that that's out of the way," responded Owen, not missing a beat since being exposed, grinning and putting his hands behind his head. "Yoo-hoo! Jacquesypoo! Let's trade cards!" He got up and ran over to Jacques.
"No running in the classroom," Randy said to him through gritted teeth that greatly accentuated his chiseled cheekbones.
"Sorry, Randy-boy," responded Owen cheerfully, finalizing his trade with Jacques and spreading his arms wide as if he was presenting something from his imagination. "I was just soooo excited to finally get the line leader's number." He trotted off back to his seat.
"Crêpes!" swore Randy. "He knows!"
"What number'd you get?" asked Jeremy.
"8."
"Good, that supports Randy's theory, then," stated Julia. "Owen is between myself and Randy in line."
"Huh, I guess that's pretty convincing, then," conceded Jeremy, scratching his buzzcut.
Kathleen balled up her fists in front of her with enthusiasm and determination. "Okay gang, it's our turn again. This time we gotta get rid of Kiki's number cause it's the lowest."
Similarly to Julia, William had gotten out a piece of scratch paper and was doodling on it furiously, his tongue licking his ruby red lips. "Hey Kathleen," he began, "You're pretty good at football, right?"
"Yeah," she responded, lilting her head to the side slightly and putting one of her fingers to her mouth.
He turned to the side, sweated a little, and put one of his hands behind his head embarrassedly. "Have you ever… played in a football tournament?"
Kathleen looked like she was thinking very hard. "A tournament?"
"Yeah, I went to a video game tournament once, and I just noticed something. The cards are set up like the tournament bracket." He showed what he had drawn on his paper. "See, 1 goes with 16, and 2 goes with 15, like this."
"Where are you going with this, William?" asked Skylar.
"All these different matchups add up to 17," went on William. "And 17 + 17 is 34." He knew this because of what Randy had taught him yesterday. "Since we already have 10 and 7, all we need now is either 6 or 13 and we'll be done!"
"But that doesn't help us decide who to trade with," reminded Kathleen.
"Yeah," said Skylar "but now we know like, specific numbers to look out for."
"We still have to pick someone," said William. "Kiki, how about you trade with Jacques?"
"K," said Kiki, before standing up, pausing for a second, stretching, and walking over to Jacques to trade with him. "It's the 8."
"Darn," said William, a little crestfallen.
"We just gotta keep guessing until we get it right," confided Kathleen.
"Alright," reminded Jordan now that it was our turn again. "Our total now is 23, which means we need 11 to get to 34."
"And if Jordan is right," I added, "the numbers have to do with what table we sit at in Mr. Pony's class."
"I wouldn't put so much faith in that idea," said Jordan, looking out the bottom of his little spectacles. "It could all just be a coincidence."
"Well, it's more to go on than anything else," said Kristy.
"In that case," said Jenny, "Kristy, your number 12 is pretty close to 11. Who else sits at your table?"
"Let's see," replied Kristy, putting her hand to her chin, looking diagonally upwards, and arching one of their eyebrows like Jack Black. "I'm pretty sure it's Skylar, Randy, and William."
"Then we should trade Jenny's 2 with one of them," I said, holding out my index finger insistently. "Since 2 is our lowest number."
Jenny nodded and moved to swap numbers with Skylar. She brought back a 10.
"Wait a minute," Jordan stopped for a second to count up the new total. "I was wrong!" he started crying.
"Are you okay, Jordan?" I asked. "What do you mean?"
"We didn't get the 11, but that wasn't the number we needed in the first place," he sobbed. "It was the 13!"
"It's not such a big deal, right?" asked Kristy, extending a gloved hand in sympathy. "We can just try again next turn."
"Yeah," I said, flexing my muscles encouragingly to try and dry his tears. "We'll get the 13 next time, Jordan."
"But," he sniffled. "What if I'm wrong again? What if we don't even need 13? My mistake will only slow us down."
I put on a beaming smile, trying to console him. "Don't worry about it," I said, remembering shep's words from extended day. "Sometimes, you just need to believe that everything is going to turn out alright." Then, I went back to flexing. "From this point forward, Jordan, it's game on."