Fourteenth part : Truth
Chris Sia & Zayn – Dusk till Dawn
I had to leave the bedroom. I couldn't watch him in the eyes. I was so sad, I suffered so much. I needed to put all behind me. I needed a fresh start. And this fresh start began right now in the kitchen where I was alone. I just needed to breathe. So I opened the window and looked at the street for a long time. It calmed me down even if she couldn't stop crying. Tears were running out of her eyes so easily.
I might have lost Jim forever but at least I told him everything I had in my mind. Tears kept on rolling on her cheeks. Tonight changed everything. The night of the kiss was the beginning and tonight was likely the end. What was done was done and she couldn't change what she had said.
Right now, I only wanted to sleep … in the coach. No way I would be back in the bedroom by now. It would be too awkward, too weird to sleep next to Street after what we had said. As I turned to the entrance of the kitchen, I saw him. He was there just in front of me. He was frozen at the threshold, looking at me. He was right where I needed to go to sleep. And he cried as I was….
What to do? What to say? Right at that moment, I was lost. I didn't want to start another fight. I was too tired because of the previous one. I didn't want to talk. Everything had been told before. And I just wanted to go to sleep and forgot about the awful night.
All of a sudden, I saw him come to me. Why the hell was he doing that? And right before I had the time to think or talk, he pushed me against the sink and kissed me deeply and intensively. And I felt the urge to answer. I kissed him deeper. It was so good, so easy, so pleasant. His body was against mine and I could feel the heat of his body. He pushed me harder and deepened the kiss. Oh God, How I liked that!
When we finally stooped kissing (even though I had dreamt he continued for hours…), we shared a long, meaningful stare. He was ready to kiss me again. I really wanted this but at that moment, I knew what I had to do. I took his hand in mine and led him to my bedroom. He was like paralyzed and let me pull him to my bed. It was the time, I was nervous but I knew it was the right thing to do.
This time, I kissed him first. He answered me and it was even better than the first time. Our tongues were synchronized. They danced slowly together. My hands touched his body, felt his warmth, explored every inch of his torso. I was so excited to discover a new territory, a territory which was forbidden to me just hours ago. HE was all mine, I could feel it. And I was all his if he wanted.
He understood the message I was sending to him. He started to touch my body. I was shivering under his caresses. He was bringing me to a place I had never been before. I kissed each nook and cranny of his body. I couldn't stop. I needed to feel him under my lips. He pressed my waist with his two hands and pushed me in the bed. I was ready for this, my body was ready for this and it was happening right now.
He took off my clothes while he was taking off his. For the first time, our bare skin met and it was like a firework. I followed his lead. He was the captain and I liked that. He brought me in places I thought I could never reach. I let out a moan several times. I couldn't do otherwise. He knew how to please me, how to give what I had always wanted. I was carried away in a world I didn't know. I had a lot of lovers but I had never been so connected than I was right now with Jim. I looked at him. I wanted to see the man who gave me so much pleasure. I wanted to seal this perfect match. He looked at me too. I knew at a that moment he was feeling the same way. We finally found. I had really been stupid not to accept my feelings for this man earlier. He took my hand and our fingers merged.
I couldn't stop kissing him. It was as if my lips were never tired of his skin, his mouth. I needed to be close to him. I needed to feel him. I was like hypnotized. This man understood me like no one had before and I would never be tired of feeling that way.
Hours later, I was so exhausted. We both were. I hugged him as strong as I could. When I stopped hugging him, we both stared in the eyes and we smiled. All the tension, the stress , the anxiety of the last months had gone. Without saying a word, I lay next to him and put my head on his torso. I felt so peaceful there, against him. And I fell deeply happily asleep.
The morning after, when I woke up, I was still in his arms. He was lying next to me. He slept so deeply. I spent minutes to look at this man I had tried to push away so hard. What a dumb woman I had been. I could never put him away… Because I was in love with this stupid guy…