hey there everyone! c: So one of my friends Geranium heard I was taking requests for one-shots during this awful Covid-19 and she said all she wanted was another chapter of Windfall, said she reads it at night after a long day she said it helps her unwind. c: aw she is so sweet! Here you are gurl! Hope you enjoy and are sleeping well. And I hope everyone reading is doing well and staying healthy and safe. I see a lot of visits to my stories lately I can only hope they are providing you with some amount of comfort during this scary time. I know some people laugh at my stories (heck I laugh at some of my writing too) and that's perfectly okay, I encourage you to laugh. we need more laughter and happiness in the world especially now. If my stories do nothing other than make you laugh then I consider it a success and I'm just happy i could make you happy. Well wishes and blessings! c:
Chapter 21: Legal Adult
Everyone made it outside safely, and looked up at the sky. I gasped, then screamed "OMG!"
The Moon was hurtling towards Earth. Everyone panicked there was nothing we could do but run! Thankfully we were safe over here but a few miles into the distance the Moon's shadow started to grow across the land. People ran screaming for their lives, but there was one guy who got his shoe stuck under his truck he couldn't move!
"Eh?!" he asked he was an old man he was slow to catch on to what was happening, then he looked skyward to find the source of the rapidly-growing shadow and screamed! "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
People were screaning, "Run away, run away!" but he couldn't! He wsa stuck! The seconds ticked down in Decter's head, calculating the velocity of the moon and how many miles were left before it struck Earth... and the poor man.
"Can we still save him, Dexter?!" I asked.
Dexter looked at me with sadness, and turned me around so I wouldn't have to witness what was about to happen. "I'm sorry, Wind."
The old man struggled with his foot for another few seconds before being squashed to bits by the Moonl, his screams snufed out by its surface. The Earth shook violently from the force of the impact and subsequent destruction, we nearly lost our balance and and screamed as we stumbled on our feet it was like some kind of twisted carnival ride.
Once the aftershocks died down, we looked into the distance ot take in the devastation. Buildings and a small park were obliterated in the crash. Homes destroyed. The Fire Department was crushed. And of course, there was that one old man lost. One old man too many.
"No," I said, falling to my knees in despair. The Moon was lodged in the Earth, it was going to leave a massive crater. How was Earth going to recover from this? How did this even happen?!
We all gathered at Dexlabs in the conference room, everyone was scared and sweaty and panicked. Drexter tried to calm everyone down by gently waving his arms and saying "Simmer down everybody."
But it didn't work instead it made everyone think of being cooked and eaten by the Fusions or whatever aliens the Moon may had brought to Earth due to the earlier crash and that just made everyone even more scared.
"Ugh," Dexter sighed seeing everyone acting like scared sheep.
"I'll handle this, "I said and whistled through my fingers, spitting across the table but that's okay this was no time to be ladylike! And it got their attention at least so get off my back! "Yo! Listen up peoples! Running around like chickens about to have their heads cut off helps no one!"
Everyone stopped and listened, because I have a very commanding voice. Some people describe it as baritone, btr it's not really baritone, since it's not deap. So I don't know why they call it baritone really, because they want to sound smart? WELL THEY'RE NOT! "Thank you, Wind. Now, to the business at hand"
Some dude in the crowd laughed all deep-like baritone-like when Dexter said "hand" because of his earlier issues with his hands, he lost them both in a tragic helicopter accident if you might recall. Dexter got all red in the face and angry! and pointed to the guy! "ARREST THAT MAN, THROW HIM INTO A RESURRECT 'EM BACKWARDS!"
"NO NO PLEASE!" the man begged but the Dexbots already had him and were dragging him away to die. Upon closer inspection I recognized him as the guy who bullied Dexter and his friends in elementary school for their "funny" accents. "NOOOOOOO!"
"Now that that is over," Dexter grumbled, watching them go through the swinging doors before turding back to the crowd "We have a major clean-up project befor us, and we need to check the Moon for survivors from the KND moonbase. The moon is fairly sizeable as I'm sure you're aware so we'll need a large search party, roughly 50 people at least."
"I volunteer," said Mac from Foster's, and when Bloo didn't raise his flipper he raised it for him. "And so does Bloo."
"Hey! No I don't!" conjured Bloo.
"Yes you do! You need to do something to help the cause, Bloo!" Mac snapped, good for him.
Bloo huffed and folded his arms. "Fine. Whatever."
Still scared from the literal Moon landing, Courage the dog farted, and it sounded like a chicken clucking. Dexter knew he only had about another 30 thirty seconds before the smell hit so he started panicking, but tried to hold it together and read the rest of his announcement. "U-Uh, umm, so w-we need supplies for the search party, granola bars trail mix and the like, and bottled water because we will be out for quite a while-" Dexter started gagging remembering the sound of the fart but I have to admit I really didn't feel sorry for him, I believe he brought this on himself acting like a freakin' dictator sentincing that guy to death like that... but soon the sharp odor of skunk filled the room and I started choking as well. "Cough, and we'll need jackhammers sent to the site so that we can dismantle the Moon after it's been searched, because we can't keep -cough- a giant moon right there in the middle of the city, oh sweet science can we just go outside and I can finish talking there?!" Dexter snapped.
Everyone filed outside and outside Dexter picked up Courage by the neck and began throttling him. "STUPID DOG! YOU MADE ME LOOK BAD BY ASS-QUEEFING IN MY CONFERENCE ROOM!"
"DEXTER!" I snapped, running up to him and prying Courage out of his arms! "HOW DARE YOU ABUSE AN ANIMAL! LET ALONE COURAGE WHO IS SO SWEET AND SNUGGLY SOFT!"
"HE BROKE DISGUSTING DOG WIND IN MY LAB WIND!" he argued!
"HE'S JUST A DOG YOU HALF-WIT HE DOESN'T REALIZE WHAT HE'S DOING!"
"uh, guys, I'm fine, no need to fight-" Courage said but we were both so mad and loud we didn't hear him!
"HALF-WIT?!" Dexter screamed. "HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY GENIUS WINF! AFTER EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN THRAUGH!"
"YEAH WELL I DO NOT CARE WHAT WE'VE BEEN 'THRAUGH' IF YOU ARE JUST GOING TO ABUSE ANIMALS LIKE SOME FLESH-WEARING SKELETON MANIAC!" I screamed. "IT'S OVER!"
"GOOD!" Dexter screamed. "I'VE BEEN WANTING IT TO BE OVER FOR WEEKS NOW!"
"AND I WANTED IT TO BE OVER EVERY TIME YOU MADE LOVE TO ME WITH YOUR ITSY BITSY FLESH WRENCH!" I screamed.
"IT IS NOT" he screamed, then peeked in his pants, "ITSY BITSY!" he finished blushing extreme vibrantly.
"WELL I GUESS YOU'LL NEED TO CHECK YOUR MATH THERE DEXY BOY!" I screamed and left the scene with Courage in my arms and in my heart, and Dex watching me leave before taking off his shoe and pelting it to the ground in frustration.