Chapter 21

I manage to get at least a few hours of sleep after I finish talking to Piper, but I still don't sleep through the whole night. I end up lying on my bed, wide awake, from 4 am until I get up for school. Desi isn't home, he must have started early. I decide to walk to school, I need more time to clear my head. Plus it's early, so I have plenty of time.

I walk straight to my locker, but I feel so drained. I rest my forehead against the metal door and take a deep breath, there's hardly anyone here yet, the hallways are mostly empty. Then I feel a hand on my shoulder that makes me jump, I turn around to see that it's Gloria. I'm relieved that it's not Jessica Wedge trying to antagonise me again. I'm not sure I'd have the self control to not punch her this morning.

"Everything okay?"

All I can do is shake my head, "I dunno."

"Wanna come to my office before class?"

I nod and follow her down the hallway, eventually sitting in one of the old chairs in her office. She sits behind her desk and turns on her computer.

"You look tired."

"I didn't sleep great last night."

"Everything okay with Desi?"

I assume Irene has told her everything that's been going on.

"It's got nothing to do with Desi, he's been fine."

"Diane?"

I look up and give her a nod.

"I'm not gonna lie to you kid, that's a tough situation. Have you seen her lately?"

"Last night."

"Uh huh, so that's why you couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah...Is it possible to love someone, but hate them at the same time?"

She gives me a wry smile, "Most definitely."

"I don't know how to deal with it. Tell me what I'm supposed to do."

"I can't do that, there's a lot of different ways you can approach this."

"That sounds like a bulshit answer."

At least she laughs, "Alex, I get it. Life's not easy for a lot of us."

"Tell me about it."

"Look, there's nothing I can say to you that wouldn't sound like a cliche. The only thing you can do is look out for yourself, protect yourself, and keep your friends close. If you do those three things, the rest will work itself out."

I think about it, I suppose it makes sense. But it doesn't stop me from missing living with Irene and Piper.

Two more weeks go by, I get the occasional text message from Diane, but that's it. I'm relieved she hasn't showed up to Desi's house again. Piper's trial period at her parent's house is over, it looks like she'll get to stay there. Irene's bosses will keep doing reviews every few months, but it sounds like her parents have managed to find a new rhythm. I mean, it doesn't sound like it's all happy families, but they're being civil. One thing that's obvious is how much Piper missed her little brother. He's the one thing she always talks about when it comes to her home life. She loves being back with him, it makes me wanna meet him. I'm glad he gives her a reason to be happy at home, but I still miss living with her.

Tonight is the first time in a few days that I'm having dinner with Desi, he's been working night shift. We sit across from each other at the kitchen table, hardly saying anything. I've been pretty careful around him, I don't want to give Irene or Piper any more reasons to worry about me.

I'm surprised when I hear his voice, "Sounds like things are going well for Piper."

Just play the game, answer the question, don't let him get under your skin

"Yeah, I'm really happy for her."

"She'll probably get to stay with her parents if things keep going well. Then who knows, maybe she'll even get to go back to her old school."

I clench my jaw and take a deep breath, "Maybe."

He stares at me from across the table, probably annoyed that I'm not reacting to his bulshit conversation. Then I decide it's time for me to ask him a question.

"How's Lee?"

Just the mention of Lee changes the look in his eyes. I keep talking when all he gives me is silence.

"Diane hasn't visited him again, that must be pissing him off. Who knows, if she won't talk to him, maybe he'll try reaching out to me."

I have absolutely no intention of ever speaking to Lee, I just want to get under Desi's skin. I'm still not entirely sure what happened between him and Lee. Whatever it was, Lee clearly made Desi resent me. But for whatever reason, Desi is still hell bent on keeping me away from Lee. Like he believes he's somehow better than Lee just because he's not in jail. But fuck, when it comes to being abusive, they're both as bad as each other.

He finally looks up from his plate, "You need to tell me if he ever tries to contact you."

"Why?"

"Have you forgotten what he did?"

Fuck

"It's kinda hard to forget stuff like that."

I don't say those words with any malice or frustration. He loves to ask me if I've forgotten how much worse my life used to be.

"He's still the same asshole he was when you lived with him. That's why you need to tell me if he tries to contact you."

I can't help but let the smallest of smiles spread across my lips, "Are you planning on saving me from him?"

"Would that be so bad?"

All of a sudden any plan I had to be civil with Desi and not get under his skin goes out the window.

"Letting the guy that currently makes my life miserable save me from the guy that used to make my life miserable... That's a pretty fucking depressing situation."

He doesn't stand up, he doesn't shout, but there's no denying his anger.

"Watch your mouth, Alex."

"Sorry," and with that I go back to eating the rest of my dinner. We both finish without saying anything.

He puts both of our plates in the dishwasher and turns to me one more time, "It's been a long week, I'm going to bed. Don't stay up all night, and don't you dare let your mother into this house while I'm asleep."

I've been expecting this phone call ever since I visited Lee in prison, but my heart still races when I realise it's him. I'm on my lunch break, and I really don't feel like dealing with this, but I know what I need to do.

"Diane, I haven't seen you in a while, have you thought about it?"

He doesn't bother asking how I'm feeling, if I've seen our daughter, nothing. All he cares about is whether I'll send him money. I keep thinking about the last time I saw Alex, the look in her eyes, she looked so broken, all because of me. I don't want to be the reason my daughter feels like that, I can't do this to her anymore.

"Lee, I can't do it," I close my eyes and hold my breath, it's a scary thing to say but it's also a relief.

"Yes, you can." He doesn't even sound angry or desperate, like he completely believes he can get me to do whatever he wants.

"No, it's over."

Silence, I almost feel like it lasts forever, but I eventually hear his voice again. His words are slow and deliberate, "It's never over."

I hang up, I can't listen to him anymore. I need to do this for Alex.

Irene must have a serious hold over Desi at the moment, because he's letting me spend Friday night at Nicky's house along with Piper and Frieda. It's the perfect excuse to celebrate Piper finishing her 2 week trial back home, and getting to stay there. Now it's just a matter of convincing her parents to let her stay at Litchfield High.

We all sit in Nicky's back yard, passing a joint around while we watch the sun go down. Nicky passes me the joint and I inhale deeply, fuck it feels good. I pass the joint back to Nicky and let myself lean back into Piper's body.

Nicky inhales again before she stands up, "Well, congratulations Chapman! You officially beat the system and made it home!"

I pull Piper to her feet and pull her in for a kiss, "I'm really proud of you babe."

She immediately wraps her arms around my neck. Frieda comes over and hugs both of us, it's been a long time since I've felt this good. Even though things are still so messy with Diane, even though I'm back with Desi and I miss Piper every time I get into my bed alone, things are so much better now.

Nicky breaks away from us and runs back towards the house, "C'mon, we need to celebrate properly! Enough with this sappy shit!"

I smile and grab Piper's hand, pulling her with me towards the house. We end up in the lounge room while Nicky puts on some music and hands out beers.

Piper keeps holding onto my hand, I never want her to let go, "So Nicky, where exactly are your parents?"

Nicky throws back half her beer before she says anything, "Well, lets see. Dad is supposedly in New York on business, but I'm pretty sure that's code for he's off somewhere banging his secretary. Of course mum couldn't bear the thought of spending the weekend without him, so she's visiting her mother. Although I'm pretty sure they hate each other, so I can only assume she's hauled up in some plastic surgeons office getting a round of Botox."

Freida clinks her beer into Nicky's, "Cheers to your useless parents for giving us access to this mansion that's always filled with alcohol."

I smile and pull Piper closer to me, "Reckon your parents would ever leave you and Cal home alone for the weekend?"

"I don't like the chance of that happening any time soon."

I feel Frieda slip an arm around my shoulders, "So things are really going okay at home?"

"Honestly, yeah it's okay. I'm not sure how long it will last, but at least it's quiet, and I get to spend more time with my brother. My parents act like robots half the time, but trust me that's a big improvement for them."

"Do you think your dad is still screwing around?" Of course Nicky is obsessed with the potential for any parental infidelity.

"I don't think so, at least not yet. I think he knows that mum would probably start drinking again if she caught him cheating."

I don't want to talk any more about the negatives in our lives, I want us to have fun tonight. I get Nicky to turn the music up and pull Piper into the middle of the room so we can dance. That's all I want from tonight, just to have fun.

Nicky keeps on handing out the beers and we keep on dancing as the hours pass by. It must be after midnight by the time we've stopped dancing and I've dragged Piper back into the pool.

"Pipes, I really miss you. I miss sleeping next to you, I miss having sex with you. Fuck..."

I am definitely feeling the effects of the joints and beer, and we both start giggling.

"Sorry, that sounded pathetic."

She splashes water in my direction as soon as those words leave my mouth, "No, no it didn't! It sounded amazing. I love how open you're being tonight."

"Hmmm, must be all the weed and beer."

She swims over to me and before I can say anything else we're kissing. I lean my head back and let my lips part, I can't take it all in. I feel her hands slipping under my top as she pushes me to the edge of pool.

We both freak out as soon as the porch light turns on and we hear a loud, and very drunk voice shouting at us.

"No fucking in the pool!"

Piper screams in my ear and squeezes the hell out of me, "You asshole you scared the shit out of us!"

I can hear Nicky laughing like a maniac as we get out of the pool and head toward the bathroom. I can't help but laugh as I push Piper up against the closed bathroom door and lean in for a kiss. It starts out frantic but I want to slow everything down, and I pull back so I can look at Piper properly.

"It's never just fucking when I'm with you."

She closes the distance between us and presses her lips against mine, "I know..."

Friday night at Nicky's house was amazing. I think it's the most open I've ever seen Alex, I don't know how to describe it. She had no fear, I can usually see her mind turning when she's trying to say something personal, but not last night. Last night she had no hesitation, and I know she was being genuine.

It sucked having to say goodbye this morning, but I know I won't be able to stop thinking about it all day. I felt tense as soon as Desi pulled up to Nicky's house to Pick up Alex. Of course he doesn't come inside, he just honks the horn and waits for Alex to go to him. I put all my focus into that kiss goodbye.

It's not much longer before Irene picks me up, I'm going back to her house to pick up some clothes and books I left behind by accident. It's nice to spend more time with her, and being back in her house brings back a lot of good memories. I'm looking through the box of my stuff Irene has kept when there's a knock at the door. I stay in the lounge room looking through my things, but it's not long before I hear nervous voices, and I don't feel so relaxed anymore. I walk into the hallway and see Irene standing with Diane.

"Diane, what the hell happened to you?"

I stand back and watch Irene lead Diane into the lounge room, she has a black eye. I don't say anything, I didn't expect to see her like this. I stand in the lounge room doorway while Irene and Diane sit on the couch.

"Diane, are you okay?"

"I'm sorry, I just...I needed to talk to you."

Irene looks towards me, "Piper, can you give us a minute?"

I nod and walk down the hallway, but I stay close enough so I can still hear what they're saying.

"Diane, what happened?"

"Lee called me again, asking about the money, I said no."

"I know that wasn't easy for you, but it took guts, and it was the right thing to do."

It's quiet for a few moments, I slowly move closer to the doorway so I can hear better.

"It must've been him, it had to be."

"Diane, what are you talking about? What the hell happened?

"After I finished work last night, I went to my car, someone came up to me from behind."

I try to stay calm, but this all sounds insane, and I can hear the tremble in Diane's voice.

"And you think it was Lee?"

"Of course it was him! He's trying to scare me, he needs money and I'm the easiest way for him to get it!"

"Okay, okay, we need to calm down. I'll come with you to the police, I'll help you."

Now I can hear footsteps and Diane's manic voice, "No no no no no, I can't go to the police, you don't understand!"

I step close enough to the door so I can see them both, Diane is standing in the middle of the room with her hands in her hair, Irene is standing in front of her.

"Hey, it's okay, we need to stay calm."

I keep watching as Irene puts her hands on Diane;s shoulders, "I can see how hard you're trying, and I know it's all for Alex. That's why we need to go to the police."

"He'll come after me, he still has friends on the outside..."

Diane tries to walk away but Irene grabs her hand, "Hey, if you think there's any chance he might hurt you, then that's even more reason to go to the police."

Irene looks over Diane's shoulder and I lock eyes with her. She doesn't say anything and keeps her focus on the terrified woman in front of her.

"I just want Alex back, but I'm fucked no matter what I do."

"No you're not! Look at what you've done over the last few months. You got clean, you got a job, an apartment, don't let him take that away from you."

"I thought you hated me? Why do you care what happens to me now?"

Irene looks so frustrated by this point, she won't look at me again.

"I never hated you Diane, I hated the way you broke Alex's heart. But now you have a chance to start making it up to her, she deserves that much. Both of you do."

Diane sighs and let's Irene lead her back to the couch.

"The cops will never believe me, not with my record."

It's like Irene is trying to force Diane into having some self belief, "I will come with you, I'll make sure they believe you."

Diane just keeps shaking her head, "It's not that easy."

"So what's the alternative? Let him terrorise you?"

"I don't know..."

"Let me take you to the police, I know some good people at the local station. They'll help us, I promise they won't dismiss you."

I take one step closer and see Diane take hold of Irene's hand, "Okay."

I spent all afternoon at the police station with Irene. I'm almost surprised Irene helped me so much. She didn't just drop me off at the station, she stayed with me the whole time. She explained everything to her contacts, everything that had happened with Lee and Alex. She sat there while they questioned me, she even took me home once it was all done. I don't understand why she's been so nice to me.

Now it's after dinner and I'm sitting in my small apartment, alone. I'll go crazy if I sit here and do nothing. I pick up my phone to text Alex. I know Irene gave her a phone, it's starting to feel like Irene is the common thread that's holding my life together at the moment.

It doesn't matter, I just want to talk to my daughter, I want to know how she's feeling, I want to know that she's okay.

D - Hi sweetie, how are you?

I can't stop smiling when she responds.

A - Really good actually, I got to spend a lot of time with Piper and my friends last night. How about you?

D - Can't complain :) If you feel up to it, maybe I could come over for lunch one day next week?

She takes so long to respond, I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable, I don't want to upset her.

D - It's totally fine if you're not ready for that.

A - No, I'm ready. How about Sunday?"

D - I'll double check my roster tomorrow but that should work.

I'm so relieved, I can finally breathe, I miss my girl.

D - Is Desi treating you okay?"

A - Yeah, I think he's too scared of Irene to do anything crazy right now.

I have to laugh at that. Irene's always there, taking care of all of us.

A/N

Hi guys, many thanks for your reviews. I love reading them, it's always interesting to see how people feel about different aspects of the story. I will continue my updates at a similar pace.

I've tried to make sure the switches between perspective aren't confusing.

I took such a long hiatus previously because I was having some personal issues, but things are good now and I still love writing fanfic.

Cheers.