Warning: ouch

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"I assume you know what happened during the Third War," Kama said.

"Some of it, yeah," said Naruto. "But there are some very big differences between how it went down in my world, and in yours."

Kama looked at him consideringly. "What are the differences?"

"Nuh-uh," Naruto shook his head with a slight grin, then waggled his eyebrows. "I'll only tell you my world's history if you tell me yours."

"Stop it!" Kama glared. "I swear you are so… ugh. Fine."

Naruto badly wanted to laugh at Kama's aggravation, but refrained as he knew Kama would be less than thrilled to see the bandages turn red so soon.

"There were many border conflicts in the years leading up to the war, but it only officially started when Iwagakure invaded Kusagakure to attack the Land of Fire. And when Iwa and Konoha started fighting, everyone else joined in." Kama paused for a moment, pensive. "Or, at least, that's how Konoha tells it. I'm sure the other countries have their own versions of the events."

Naruto murmured a quiet agreement, thinking back to how Konoha's account of the Second War had been significantly different from how people like Nagato remembered it.

"I wasn't around to see how it ended, but Konoha wasn't doing too well from what I last recall," Kama said bluntly. "We were very short-handed, and supplies were especially low because Uzushio was gone."

He frowned when he saw Naruto's look of surprise. "Uzushio provided ninety percent of our sealing supplies, particularly the storage scrolls. That's one of the reasons why everyone went after them in the Second War – shouldn't you already know this? Unless…"

"Uzushio wasn't around in my world either," Naruto said quietly. "We weren't taught about it in school, so I didn't know the details."

"But you're Kushina's son, aren't you?" Kama frowned. "She must've—"

He stopped abruptly, his eye widening.

"Even if she's not around, Minato-sensei must've told you," Kama said slowly. "So he's gone as well, then."

Naruto said nothing.

Kama stared at him. "Who else is dead in the real world?"

Naruto smiled sadly back. "Why do you want to know?"

"Just… just tell me."

Naruto closed his eyes. "You're better off if I don't, Kama."

"Please."

"'Be careful when using a jutsu, or it will be used against you,' huh," Naruto said wryly, then sighed. "Fine."

"My father," Kama said quietly. "Is he alive?"

"In here, yes," Naruto said. "Back in my world… I never knew him. He died many years before I was born."

"How did he die?"

"That I will never tell you, no matter what you say," Naruto shook his head. "But he was a hero."

Kama frowned, but did not pursue the subject. "The rest of my team?"

Naruto shook his head again.

"How?"

"Nuh-uh," said Naruto. "Also not telling."

Kama's frown deepened. "Gai?"

"Oh, he's alive," Naruto answered, relieved to finally have some good news. "Alive and… uh, maybe not kicking, but otherwise well. And I'm not saying any more, you've asked enough depressing questions already! You're supposed to be telling me about yourself."

Kama stared intently at him.

Naruto stared right back.

"...Fine," Kama finally conceded. "It's not like there's much else to say. My father was very reluctant to promote me to jounin, but the shortage of manpower forced his hand. My team was then assigned the mission to destroy Kannabi Bridge, which would disrupt Iwagakure's supply lines and shift the balance of power back in our favour."

"Must've been a tough mission," Naruto murmured.

"I screwed up," Kama said flatly. "I was too eager to try my new jutsu and got myself injured, and then I was too slow to react when the enemy got behind us and captured Rin."

"You were thirteen," Naruto pointed out.

"I was the team captain," Kama glared down at the floor. "I'm supposed to know better."

"You'd be horrified to hear of the things I got up to when I was that age," Naruto said, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm sure you did the best you could."

"It doesn't matter anyway," Kama said stiffly. "Since nothing in this world is real. I just forgot about that for a moment, that's all."

Naruto sighed.

"What happened after that?" he prompted, when Kama did not continue. "I know I'm literally hanging here, but you can't leave me hanging too."

Kama's hands twitched, and he levelled an incredulous glare at Naruto. "You are just… the most…"

Naruto blinked innocently at Kama, watching the dark fabric of his mask shift as he opened and closed his mouth several times, rendered speechless by Naruto's truly horrendous attempt at humour.

After a few seconds of silence Kama seemed to recover himself, and drew himself up to his full height while affecting the most dignified air he could muster. But as he did so, an unexpectedly sharp pain shot through his left shoulder and he flinched, clutching at it.

"What's wrong?" Naruto immediately asked, but Kama shook his head.

"Just an old injury that didn't heal right," he muttered. "But, to answer your question, Obito and I tracked down Rin's captors and got the drop on two of them, but we had massively underestimated their numbers while they had overestimated ours."

The pain was easing now, and he let go of his shoulder with a sigh. "They cast a large-scale earth jutsu to split us up, and reveal any reinforcements we could've been hiding – which was what created the chasm you saw."

"How many were there?" Naruto asked, and Kama raised his good shoulder in a half-shrug.

"About twenty-four, twenty-five on my side of the gorge, and a few on the other side," he answered. "After a while it became difficult to keep track."

Naruto stared. "And you fought them all?"

"The enemy had recognized me, and wanted to take me alive," Kama said. "I used that to my advantage. It also drew their focus away from my teammates."

"...You knew, didn't you," Naruto said slowly. "That you weren't going to come back from that battle. That's why you left your Chakra Sabre behind."

Kama said nothing.

"You really are exactly like him," Naruto closed his eyes, feeling suddenly exhausted. "What happened in the end?"

"You already know how it ended," Kama said, not looking at him. "I didn't have enough chakra to make the jump across, so I fell."

Naruto just watched him for a little while, thinking hard. "Something doesn't add up," he finally said. "Obito was really, really angry about what happened… and he still hasn't let go of the past, even now."

It was difficult to read Kama's expression from just one eye, but Naruto had had years of practice.

"It was no accident that you fell, was it?" he said gently. "Obito and Rin tried to save you."

Kama turned his head sharply to the side.

"I had no strength left to pull myself up from the cliff's edge," he said, his voice toneless. "Obito and Rin were hardly any better, but the idiot wouldn't let go." He gripped his right wrist tightly at the memory, and stared unseeingly down at his own hands.

"Obito was already being dragged down by my weight." Kama heard his own voice, but could barely remember saying the words. "Rin was holding on to him – she could still pull him back, but not both of us. Not at the same time. I couldn't let them die, and we couldn't abandon the mission…"

Lightning flickered at his fingertips, and Naruto finally understood.

"You were so brave," he said softly.

Kama turned away.

"Why won't you tell me how they died?"

"Huh?" Naruto stirred out of the half-asleep state he had fallen into, and blinked at Kama.

Kama was still facing away from him, but turned his head slightly as he repeated the question.

"Oh," Naruto said, hesitating for a few seconds as he wondered how best to respond. "It's… not something you'd want to know, trust me."

"But I wouldn't ask if I didn't," Kama countered, and even without seeing his face Naruto knew he was frowning deeply. "Dying in battle is hardly an extraordinary fate for shinobi. It's too late to try and protect me from such truths, so why…"

As he trailed off he turned to face Naruto, who felt a sharp stab of panic go through him as he saw the gradually dawning comprehension in that familiar face.

"Is it so strange that I'd want to spare you pain?" he blurted out, and Kama's eye widened.

"But why does it matter?" Kama demanded. "I'm not even a real person, so you don't have to—"

"But I want to," said Naruto.

Kama was silent for a long time, just looking at him.

"...It's because of him, then," he finally said. "You're taking pity on me because you care for him."

"Does it have to be pity?" Naruto asked, and Kama scowled at the floor.

"Call it what you like, then," he said. "That doesn't change the fact that it's unnecessary."

Naruto sighed, briefly closing his eyes as he marvelled at just how alike this idiot was to that other idiot.

"You really should eat cake," he mused absently.

Kama stared at him like he'd suddenly sprouted three heads. "What?"

"Ah, well, it's…" Naruto gave him a sheepish smile. "Kind of a long story… oh, but that reminds me – happy belated birthday!"

Kama looked at him, at the diagonal cross he was still shackled to, and then at the rest of their surroundings.

"I don't even like sweet things," he said blankly.

"I know," Naruto grinned.

A myriad of emotions flitted over Kama's features, too fast for Naruto to understand, and finally settled into something akin to anger.

"Stop trying to change the subject," he said sharply. "If you're not going to tell me, then I'll just have to guess. This world is a reflection of the real one, isn't it? So the differences between the two worlds are only because of you and him being pulled in. And, in order to create the specific scenario that would best entrap him, I had to be taken out."

Naruto opened his mouth to argue, but Kama didn't let him get a single word in.

"You keep dodging my questions, and trying to shield me from the truth. That can only mean that the truth – that reality – is something terrible. Far worse than just dying on a mission."

"Please don't," Naruto said softly as Kama finally paused to catch his breath, hands clenched tightly into fists.

"If any of this was actually real," Kama whispered. "Then I would've been content in the knowledge that my death had somehow prevented theirs. It would've been good enough – and yet nobody I knew was actually a real person. Not even me. I did so much… tried so hard… and for what?"

He buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking with dry sobs.

"What was even the meaning… of anything I ever did?"

Naruto wasn't even thinking any more as he yanked against his restraints with all the strength he could muster, the pain from the action barely registering in his mind as he did it again and again. The suppression seals on his body glowed crimson as he pulled at his chakra, burning fiercely against his skin, but he hardly felt any of it.

Kama looked up, startled, and cried out for him to stop. He reached towards Naruto in a panic, but froze before he could do anything as Hiruko's Puppet Curse immediately reactivated from its dormancy.

Naruto grit his teeth and focused all his strength on pulling at his right arm, and just as he felt the connecting tissue above his elbow begin to tear—

"I think that's quite enough, Naruto."

A flash of white and silver, and the metal restraints around his wrists shattered. Before Naruto even realised he was falling, he had already been caught and held tightly in a familiar embrace.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

The sudden rush of blood back into his poor arms made Naruto's head spin, and the feeling of Kakashi's arms around him was such a relief that he practically melted against Kakashi, leaning his head against the taller man's shoulder.

Kakashi leapt backwards with Naruto in his arms, putting a good amount of distance between them and the still-immobilized Kama.

"I would apologise for arriving late, but I rather think it's your fault for going off alone," Kakashi said in a low voice, as he carefully set Naruto down on the ground.

"Sorry," Naruto smiled sheepishly, trying to reach for Kakashi but wincing at the sharp pain in his shoulders. "I wanted to find out if that creep Hiruko had any other plans, but then I – OW!"

"Bear with it for a moment," Kakashi said tersely, having just shoved Naruto's arm back into its socket. "I still need to fix the other one."

Naruto braced himself as Kakashi's hands moved to his other shoulder, but still let out a string of curses as his mind momentarily blanked out from the new wave of agony.

Eyes watering, Naruto blinked a few times to clear the haze of pain, and took a closer look at Kakashi.

With his headband missing, Kakashi's silver hair looked even wilder than usual, falling messily over his eyes. His eyebrows were drawn in a tight frown as he checked Naruto for other wounds, and there was a shakiness in the hands gingerly supporting Naruto's shoulders.

"Don't touch the seals!" Naruto said quickly, as Kakashi laid him down flat and reached towards his chest. Kakashi glanced at him for a moment, thinking, and then closed his eyes to focus.

The white chakra cloak flared into life around him, flickering slightly, as his reserves had run low in his rush to get to Hiruko's fortress. Naruto stared up at him in amazement as Kakashi placed both hands over his chest, his chakra spreading outwards to take hold of all the foreign seals on Naruto's body.

"Try to keep still," said Kakashi softly, then with a single hard twist he tore off every last one of the seals, and Naruto drew in a shuddering breath as chakra flooded through his system.

Finally, Kurama scoffed. Now will you finally stop wasting time?

Sorry, sorry, Naruto grumbled back. Yeah, I'm on it.

"I really missed you, y'know," he murmured as Kakashi helped him sit up. "I missed you lots and lots."

The arm wrapped around his back was tense, but Kakashi's touch was light and careful as he ruffled Naruto's hair.

"Then don't leave me behind next time."

Kama's hand fell back against his side as his body moved under Hiruko's control, slowly turning to face the two of them.

It shouldn't matter – didn't matter – what happened to him anymore. He had known that things would turn out like this; the Puppet Curse's control was absolute. And he knew that being Hiruko's human puppet was little different from being a simulacrum of a real person, so why…

Lightning burst out from his right hand, and Kama wished he could look away.

It seems like I'm the idiot after all.

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Kama is my sad son and I am an evil stepmother.