What. Was. That?
I—I don't really know.
Stuck in this hotel of horrors—and Gooigi is all Luigi has right now. Can you really blame them?
Yes, well—good luck explaining that to Daisy.
Hey, relax. Technically, it's not cheating.
O—kay. Let's just—get back to what they're doing, shall we?
…
A flourishing, bombastic tune played on the loudspeakers as Luigi, Polterpup and Gooigi arrived on the 8th floor, Paranormal Productions. The place looked exactly like a movie studio, with a red carpet, spotlights hanging from the ceiling and cameras on display. There was a small set with a helicopter hovering over a mountain range, and spinning the helicopter blades made the aircraft lower, yielding a gem.
"This is so cool," breathed Luigi. "An actual movie studio!"
"I'd love to be in a movie," Gooigi said dreamily. "How about you?"
"Well—back in the 90s, a studio in the States tried to make a movie about me and Mario." Luigi made a face. "It was horrible—so horrible that it's become a taboo subject in the MK."
"I'll take your word for it," said Gooigi.
They made their way down a corridor, where various movie posters lined the walls. Posters for action movies, sports movies, comedies, dramas, adventures—the poster for one sports movie reminded Luigi of a soccer tournament in the MK, known as Strikers. There was another poster advertising a film about a small-time boxer aspiring to make it big, and this boxer had an uncanny resemblance to Little Mac, an acquaintance from the Smash tournament. And a poster for a sci-fi action film was a clear homage to the Metroid franchise.
"Hey! That's you!" Gooigi exclaimed, pointing to another poster.
"Wha…?" Luigi stared at the poster and stopped cold. For there was an image of him or someone who looked like him, standing before King Boo.
"They should make a movie out of this," said Gooigi. "Just imagine—audiences around the world watching you kick ghost [bleep]."
Luigi allowed himself a small smile. "Yeah, that would be nice," he said, "but I really don't want people to profit off of this."
They arrived at the studio entrance, only to discover that the double doors were locked.
"Hey," said Gooigi. "I saw a key when we got off the elevator. It was in a glass case next to a TV."
"A TV—like this one?" asked Luigi, turning toward a widescreen TV with a green panel on it.
"Yeah," said Gooigi. "But—what's with the green panel?"
"Let's find out," said Luigi, activating the panel with the Strobulb.
The TV flickered to life, displaying an image of a red helicopter over a snowy mountain range—the very movie set that was near the elevator!
Mesmerized, Gooigi reached out a finger toward the TV, but instead of touching glass, the finger went straight through the picture.
"Wow," gasped Luigi. "It's not just a TV. It's a teleporter."
He walked through the TV screen after Gooigi and found himself back near the elevator. And there was the key his gooey bro was talking about, hanging in a display case!
Luigi freed the key with his Suction Shot and pocketed it. Then, he, Gooigi and Polterpup walked back to the studio entrance, where he unlocked the double doors and opened them.
"Whoa," the two ghost hunters breathed in unison.
They were now on a giant movie soundstage. Filming equipment and props were scattered about, and four more widescreen TVs stood in a neat row. A blue ghost, clad in a beret and a black turtleneck, sat in the director's chair, crying.
Despite the fact that they were a ghost, Luigi felt a small pang in his heart. He always hated seeing people sad, and he'd do his best to cheer him up. The man in green looked to Gooigi for guidance, who nodded. Together, they walked over to the upset director ghost.
"The tragedy," the ghost lamented. "Is this my end? Is this what I, Chase Mortimer, director of the finest films, am destined for? How can I lose it?"
"Lose what?" asked Gooigi.
"I am a puny, worthless movie director—that's all," Chase went on. "Reduced to babysitting this stupid elevator button!" As he spoke, Chase held up the button. "What makes it so d—n special, anyway?"
"Ah—e-excuse me, Mr. Mortimer," Luigi spoke up.
"Huh? Wha…?" Chase turned around in his chair. "Oh! Hello there!" He wiped at his eyes.
"Maybe I can help," Luigi shyly offered.
"Really? You'd help restore me to my former glory?"
"Yes, Mr. Mortimer," said Luigi.
Chase smiled. "My friends call me Morty," he said.
"Okeydokey, Morty. You said that you lost something. What is it?"
Morty sighed heavily. "My bright red megaphone," he explained. "I'd give anything to be able to hold my dear, sweet megaphone again." More tears poured down his cheeks.
"It's okay, Morty—don't cry," Luigi said gently. "I'll find it. Gooigi and I will look all over this studio, and we won't stop searching till we find it."
Morty smiled and gave a grateful laugh. "Thank you, sir," he said. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. And you can call me Luigi."
Luigi gave Morty a nod before glancing at four doors with numbers on them. He guessed that these doors would lead to smaller soundstages. However, as he headed toward one door, a statue of a snow monster grabbed him!
He struggled against the statue's grip for a few seconds before using Burst to free himself. The statue's head tumbled off, and from it emerged Polterpup.
"Puppy!" Luigi admonished.
Polterpup gave an apologetic whine and jumped into Luigi's arms, and the man in green rubbed the top of the puppy's head to show that he wasn't angry.
Relieved, the ghost puppy licked Luigi's cheek and phased through a door marked "4". On this soundstage was a set containing a large cardboard box, several large coins, a giant wrench, bent nails and a large glass bottle.
"What kind of movie is this?" asked Gooigi. "A movie about miniature people?"
"It could be," said Luigi. "The Incredible Shrinking Man comes to mind. But look over there! In that web—there's Morty's megaphone!"
Sure enough, the ghostly director's coveted item was entangled in some phony spiderwebs.
"Those look like some sturdy webs, too," Luigi went on, "so we can't vacuum them. We'll need to burn them. Gooigi—we have to look for a source of flame."
"Boy—that's gonna be fun," huffed Gooigi.
Luigi noticed another TV teleporter and activated it before leaving the soundstage.
Back on the main soundstage, Luigi and Gooigi walked through a door marked "3", which contained a street setting and a few firefighter hats.
Luigi snapped his fingers. "This is a movie about firefighters," he said. "And where there are firefighters, fire is surely involved."
Gooigi shuddered. "I'll melt unless I don't have something to catch some of the fire," he said. "My best bet is that we'll have to look around the other soundstages for clues."
"And there's another teleporter," mused Luigi, activating it. "These will probably come in handy."
They returned to the main soundstage and walked through a door marked "1". This soundstage had a gloomy setting, with dry autumn leaves, gnarled branches and a well.
"What movie are they trying to make here?" asked Luigi as he and Gooigi explored. "One thing's for sure—this set kinda reminds me of Boo Woods."
After activating the teleporter on the soundstage, Luigi headed over to the last soundstage, through a door marked "2". This soundstage was set up for an epic period film, with a wheelbarrow, some barrels and part of a decimated castle.
Gooigi's eyes were on a torch on the "castle" wall. "What if we used that torch to get some of the fire from the fire set?" he asked. "Then, we can burn that web and get Morty's megaphone back."
"Good thinking," said Luigi, "but what about that set with the well? Wells usually have water in them—so I guess we have to use that water to douse that torch before we start carrying it around. Can't you see? This whole thing is a big puzzle. We'll have to utilize something from each of the four small sets to help retrieve the megaphone. And since we'll have to carry objects from place to place, we'll need those teleporters." Luigi quickly found the teleporter in the castle set and activated it. "This is genius."
He and Gooigi walked back into the main soundstage, where they came upon a metal pail.
"Hey, Morty," said Luigi. "Mind if I borrow this pail?"
"Go ahead," Morty replied.
Luigi took the pail and walked to the first soundstage via the teleporter.
Once inside, Luigi dropped the pail into the well before glancing at the camera. "Okay, Gooigi—I'm gonna have to film you," he said, stepping behind the camera.
"Okay," said Gooigi.
Luigi glanced through the camera lens and gasped. The movie set came to life, showing Gooigi, the well and the branches behind the ominous backdrop of a pale moon in a starry sky. There was a two-story house perched on a hill, two of its windows lit. And that house reminded Luigi of the mansion that started it all.
Keep it together, Luigi chided himself.
"Luigi," Gooigi called. "Are you getting me?"
"Yeah."
"Then zoom in on me."
As Luigi obliged, Gooigi peered down the well—and then jumped back as a dummy wearing a white dress and sunglasses surfaced, holding the now-full pail in its arms.
"What is this, The Ring?" asked Luigi, recognizing the stringy-haired dummy as a stand-in for Samara. It would've been scary, except for the sunglasses and the rubber ducky perched on the dummy's head.
Gooigi retrieved the pail and handed it to Luigi, and they walked through the teleporter back to the main soundstage. From there, they headed to the castle set.
After passing the pail to Gooigi, Luigi stepped behind the camera, and the castle set came to life. Stones from a catapult smashed into the castle wall, uncovering a sprout. So that was how they could use the water.
Noticing the sprout, Gooigi went to douse it with the water, only to be distracted by Goobs armed with fake swords, portraying the "invaders". Gooigi captured them one at a time, only to be knocked back by an explosion and a collapsing wall. Only slightly dazed, the gooey ghost hunter stood as some more Goobs flew in through the decimated wall and attacked. These Goobs had shields, which Gooigi yanked away with the Suction Shot. Then, he sucked them all into his Poltergust without breaking a sweat.
With the ghosts taken care of, Gooigi watered the sprout, which quickly blossomed into a leafy ladder. He shimmied up the ladder to the top of the "castle", where he used the vacuum to extinguish the torch and then grabbed it in the suction.
"I got it!" he cried triumphantly.
"Good going!" said Luigi as Gooigi slid back down.
Armed with the unlit torch, Gooigi and Luigi headed over to the firefighter set. And once again, Luigi took hold of the camera. The "street" was turned into a fiery disaster, a red-orange glow enveloping the scene. Gooigi could feel the heat from where he stood, but he bravely grabbed the torch and held it toward the flame.
Sirens sounded in the distance, and Gooigi glanced up to see some Goob firefighters, along with a Hammer firefighter, arriving. These ghosts wore firefighter hats and dark glasses, and they were armed with fire extinguishers.
"Oh, great," muttered Gooigi, charging into the fray.
The ghosts forgot about the blaze the minute they saw Gooigi, instead trying to turn their fire extinguishers on him. However, Gooigi used Burst to disarm them before stunning them and slamming them, making sure to avoid the fire.
After defeating the ghosts, Gooigi faced another Hammer with a siren on their head. He took a few punches and swipes, but he managed to wrestle the big ghost into the Poltergust. Finally, he took the unlit torch and held it near the fire until it ignited.
"Let's get out of here," huffed Gooigi when he was finished.
Together, Luigi and Gooigi carried the blazing torch to the set with the spiderweb. As Luigi watched from behind the camera, Gooigi set the torch aside and fired a Suction Shot at the box's lower flap. When he pulled the flap open, a giant, hairy "spider" popped out! This "spider" was lavender with orange and dark purple stripes, and for Luigi, it brought back some memories of the giant spider queen in the Gloomy Manor's cellar. Sure, said spider queen was being possessed, and once the possessor ghost was defeated, she shrunk back to normal size, but still. Fortunately, this "spider" was only a prop, which quickly ran into the torch and was disintegrated as a result.
After vacuuming up some obstructing debris, Gooigi used the torch to burn away the "web". The trapped megaphone clattered to the floor, and Luigi ran over and picked it up.
"Okeydokey," said Luigi. "Let's give this back to our director friend."
They returned to the main soundstage, where Luigi triumphantly presented the megaphone to Morty.
"Here you go," he said.
Uttering a joyful cry, Morty took his megaphone and hugged it close, stroking it tenderly. "Oh, thank God!" he exclaimed. "I thought I lost you!" He kissed the megaphone before his eyes fell back on Luigi.
"Hey! Wait a minute!" he exclaimed, flying out of the director's chair and looking over the man in green. "I didn't notice until now, but your face—you have some nice features!"
Luigi blushed.
"And your build—not bad. Not bad at all!" laughed Morty.
Luigi's blush deepened.
Morty's eyes wandered over Luigi some more before he held out his hands in a "finger frame".
"Oh, yes—I see all the makings of a star! And not just any star—a leading man! Wouldn't you like to be a leading man, Luigi?"
"I would," Luigi said softly. "More than anything."
Morty laughed gaily. "My creativity is shaking off all the dust and surging to life!" he cried.
The gate to the main soundstage opened, revealing a miniature "city". Luigi had some clue as to what this movie was going to be.
"Come along," said Morty, steering Luigi toward the city set. "Let's start shooting! Where's my crew! Places, everyone! Take your places!"
"Are you sure about this, Morty?" asked Luigi. "I don't think I have the temperament to play a monster."
"Just be yourself," said Morty. "That's what I always tell all of my actors."
He patted Luigi on the shoulder and flew up to a camera mounted on a dolly. After making some adjustments, he peered through it. "Action!" he commanded.
Miniature cars whizzed past Luigi, one of them striking Luigi's boot and flipping over.
"Sorry," he said as he cautiously moved through the "city."
A crash arrested his attention, and he glanced up to see another "monster" tear their way through the city, roaring and shooting fire and energy balls from their mouth.
All right—a monster vs. monster film. That makes sense, I guess.
Growling, the "monster", merely a Goob in a monster suit, stomped toward Luigi before launching a green energy ball at him. Quickly, Luigi used his vacuum's exhaust to push the projectile back toward the "monster", and after some struggle, he sent it slamming into his opponent, knocking them onto their back.
"Excellent!" exclaimed Morty. "Excellent! Keep it up!"
The "monster" got back up and pursued Luigi around the city set, blasting fiery projectiles his way. Luigi dodged, weaved and used Blast to evade the worst of them, but some of the fireballs managed to connect. However, he hardly felt the burns.
He turned just as the "monster" fired a larger energy ball at him. This one was harder to control, as the "monster" seemed to have learned from the first time. Sweat poured down his face as he pushed back with the exhaust function with all his might.
"That's very good, Luigi," said Morty, "but now I need twice as much input from you!"
Twice as much—that's it!
"Gooigi! A little help!" called Luigi.
"Here I go!" exclaimed Gooigi as he took his place at Luigi's side, the two of them blowing the energy ball back towards the monster.
"Excellent work, you two!" cheered Morty. "My gut tells me this is gonna be a masterpiece!"
The now-damaged "monster" once again stalked after Luigi and Gooigi, the former shielding the latter from fireballs and collapsing debris.
"Wait a sec...is that Godzilla?" asked Gooigi.
"Well...kinda," said Luigi as the two continued dodging about, "but due to international copyright laws, we can't actually call it Godzilla."
"Oh," said Gooigi. "Well, that makes sense."
Then, the monster geared up to launch one final energy ball.
"You ready, Gooigi?" panted Luigi.
"You bet I am!"
"Then let's do this!" shouted Luigi, turning his exhaust to full blast.
Gooigi did the same, and the duo repelled the third, even larger energy ball as it came at them.
"Now is your chance to achieve stardom!" Morty shouted to them.
Luigi and Gooigi gave this final stretch everything they had, the former putting in so much effort that his head ached. A yell tore from both of their lips as they sent the energy ball barreling into the "monster". The "monster" flew into the air before tumbling to the ground, bouncing off the set a few times before finally coming to rest. Then, the Goob in the monster suit emerged from the costume's smoldering remains, coughing and waving away the smoke.
"Now this," said Morty. "Oh, this is art…"
Gooigi and Luigi high-fived, and then the latter took on the Goob, slamming them all over the set until their HP was depleted.
"And—cut! That's a wrap!" Morty shouted into the megaphone.
With a happy sigh, Morty tossed his megaphone aside before pulling the film reels from his camera. Holding the reels under his arm, he flew down to Luigi and Gooigi.
"I can't thank you enough," said the ghostly director. "Doing a monster vs. monster project has always been a goal of mine."
"Thank you, too," said Luigi, "for giving me the opportunity to act in a film."
"Listen, Luigi," said Morty, fishing the elevator button out of his pocket. "I'm not supposed to give you this, but what the Hell. You've earned it."
Luigi smiled broadly as Morty dropped the elevator button into his palm.
"Maybe we'll see each other sometime," said Morty before retreating to his office.
Luigi watched him go before holding up the elevator button. "I'm a star!" he cheered.
"Yes, you are, Luigi," said Gooigi. "Yes, you are."
Luigi slipped the elevator button into his pocket and headed over to Morty's office, where he poked his head inside.
"They probably saw you give me the elevator button," he warned. "You need to be careful."
Morty, hard at work, held up a finger. "Please, don't disturb me at this time," he said. "The editing process requires my absolute attention!"
"All right," said Luigi. "I'll come back when you're done."
"Thank you," said Morty, and then Luigi withdrew.
"You're not gonna…?" asked Gooigi when Luigi rejoined him.
"Why? He willingly gave us the elevator button," said Luigi. "All he wanted in return was for us to star in his film. Not all ghosts are mean, you know." He'd learned that lesson back in Evershade Valley. "It's best to just leave him be."
"Okay," said Gooigi.
Luigi slung an arm around Gooigi, and the two of them walked toward the elevator.
Please R&R.