Broken

by Saiya-hime

Donnie was the best at fixing what was broken. Yet, he brakes,who will be there to fix him? Donnie has kept a secret for a few months, well three. It all happened so suddenly, the Kraang attack, Slash and then the Shredder... How will the brothers survive without Donnie? (Dark themes, tcest, dub-con, non-con and depression.)

28. Cracks in the Mask

Leo sat at the table but no food was set before him. Mikey narrowed his eyes at him. "Really, Leo? I think it should have been father who told him!" He crossed his arms and looked at Raph, he was fuming but didn't say anything, possibly because he was afraid to wake Donnie. Mikey set the food down in front of him, far be it from him to let one of his brother's starve. "How was he?" his voice was soft, filled with worry.

The eldest brother took the plate and sighed. "I never saw his so…devastated. Almost like a death sentence." He couldn't get his eye out of his mind. It was horrible to recall and he was glad to have spared his family the sight of their brother's eyes. Before he went to sleep, his eyes had been extremely hallowed. Looking but not seeing. He muttered the whole time up until he passed out. "I don't know what will happen, but I know without a doubt he will need our love and support." He rubbed his eyes, trying to force himself to stay awake. There was far too much needing to be done.

The youngest sighed softly. He felt sorry for his brother. Donnie was such an amazing turtle that it made him fearful of how this would affect him. The body can heal but the mind was another matter. Donnie was strong when it came to matters of the mind. Splinter had always said that of him at least. "What can we do?"

"It's easy Mikey, just do what ya have ta. Love 'em 'n help 'em. Rais'en a kid aint easy. I'm sure Masta Splinter can tell ya that. Ya heard all the stories." He glared at Leo and scuffed. "Just gotta let 'em know he aint alone in this. That we are all here for 'em no matta what." He turned to Slash. "ALL of us."

The large tortoise rolled his eyes, finished his meal and placed it in the sink. "Talk to you soon." He walked over to the exit, taking a moment to look at the lab before walking toward tunnel four. So many memories there. He hates it, how he seemed to be the odd one out. That none of them really considered him part of the family, none of them but Donatello. His sweet mate so willing to give every ounce of his being to those he loved. For his sake and that of his child, he will make peace with Raphael.

Mikey frowned. "Are we really gonna let him stay here?" he was still glaring at the entrance to the lair where Slash had left. He want too happy about what happened before, when the bastard choked him out only stopping when Donnie offered himself as a distraction. He didn't want him near Donnie but knew he had no choice. Everyone seemed to understand that Donnie was okay with Slash being there.

Leo nodded. "Donnie made it clear that he wanted him here. He made no indication that he wanted him to leave. This was even before he knew about the baby." He took a bite of his pancake. "He is terrified Mikey. Donnie cares about him, though I can't say if its something more…perhaps an attachment because of what happened…"

"Stockholm syndrome…" All eyes turned to April. "I mean…I learned about it in Psychology class. It's when feelings of trust or affection felt in many cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor." She rubbed her arm, looking to Casey who nodded, placing his hand on her leg as encouragement and support. "It would make sense. Many times those who have it don't even realize it. Donnie could be feeling for him simply because he was held captive for over a month."

The hot head furrowed his eyes. "So ya tell'en me his affection toward Slash could be all in his head?" this just added more layers of confusion on to an already fucked up situation.

"I'm just saying it is a possibility. I don't know for sure. He would need a doctor and well…the closest we have is Donnie and I'm sure he cant diagnose himself." She sighed softly. "I can get books about it from the library, Casey and I can go later when we go topside. I have to grab a few things while we are up there and talk to my dad." She had a lot to ask of him.

"April." Leo turned to her, his eyes dead serious. "Can you get me books on parenting, PTSD and depression?" He watched her eyes widen.

"You don't think he has PTSD do you?" Mikey's small voice spoke up. Even he knew depression wasn't good, and he recalled PTSD from Ironman 3. Donnie had even commented how well it was represented in it.

Leo turned to his brothers. Raph was unusually silent. No doubt thinking about it too. "I cant say for sure but it is something worth preparing for. I want to know what we are up against and what we can do to help him if it does come to that. Donnie will bottle his feelings, we all know he is good at it. I just want to ensure he wont hurt himself."

"He aint the type ta go that far Leo!" Raph slammed his hands against the table and glared at his eldest brother. "I wont listen ta ya talk about 'im like that. Like he is some kinda depressed psychotic maniac that will slit his wrist at any moment!"

"I didn't say that Raph. I'm just saying that he doesn't handle his problems in a healthy way. Leatherhead told us about the pills he was taking. He even noted that the dose increased each year. Donnie never told us he even took them." He held his head. Clearly tired but knew he could not sleep yet. "I want to be sure he doesn't do anything rash. As far as I am aware he never said anything about wanting to kill himself to anyone, so I think it is safe to rule that out."

Mikey dropped the bowl of pancake batter. His eyes wide with worry and fear, glazed over with tears that streamed down his round face. "Donnie wouldn't think about that!" he cried out. "Donnie cares too much about us to ever think about doing that!" He glared at Leo. "Don't you ever say he would do something so cruel! Take it back Leo!"

"I didn't say he would! I just want to be sure it wont be a possibility! He just had a bomb dropped on him. How would you take it if it happened to you?" He looked to them all, each unsure of the answer. "Exactly, you can't easily say what would go through your mind and all I want to do is be sure that Donnie is okay both physically AND mentally. He is going to need up now more than ever and we have to be sure we don't make matters worse for him."

'I want to die.' Donnie's written words came to her mind as the brothers argued over the possibility that their brother could or would want to commit suicide. While the words themselves didn't fully mean he would kill himself, it didn't deny his desire to end his life. She was unsure if she should tell them about the diary. Casey had been upset that she had read it, she could only imagine what they would think of her if she came out and said she had. There was no way she could say Donnie told her, he never talked about such things to anyone, especially her.

Leatherhead sighed and spoke up, his deep voice breaking past the brother's arguments. "I do not know Donatello well, but I can say that he did show signs of depression. He locks himself away, refused to eat, sleep and sometimes even forgot to bathe. We all thought it was due to him wanting to find the curse for mutation but looking back…I think we all wanted to ignore the truth that Donatello needed help. His behavior is unhealthy and it is showing now more than ever."

They all lowered their heads, unable to deny the facts that stood like an elephant in the room. So clearly before them yet they did everything to ignore it. "Donnie is the one to fix things…" Mikey said softly. "To fix anything and anyone who was broke. If Donnie is broken, who would be the one to fix him?"

The lair was quite, eerily so. Still and unforgiving with a deafening silence as each contemplated the question the youngest proposed.

A gut wrenching scream was heard from the lab, sending a chill down each of their spines. Each was frozen in place as they looked to the dark lab doors. Their hearts pounding like war drums in their chests. It was Donnie.

Leo was the first to snap out of it. He bolted for the lab and turned on the lights to see his brother sitting up on the table hunched over, arms wrapped around his body. He panicked, unsure what to do before he recalled when Mikey had night terrors. How their father would hold them and speak softly to them.

So the eldest did just that. He wrapped his arms around his brother, petting his head gently with one hand and rubbed his shell with another. He laid his head atop the other, trying to keep him from hurting himself further. "Shhhh Donnie I'm here…you're okay." He cooed softly, trying to reassure him.

Donnie was crying, his face twisted in a haunting mix of pain and mortification. "It hurts… cant be right…" he kept repeating over and over again, trembling in his elder brother's arms.

Raph was next to react, only a split second behind Leo he grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around his brother's shoulders, wanting to ensure he felt safe and secured. "It's okay Donnie boy, we wont let nothen hurt ya." He gave a smile. His voice was soft, gentle even, ensuring that Donnie would relax.

Mikey moved in Donnie's line of sight, ensuring that he couldn't see anything but him. The look in Donnie's eyes told him that his brother could not see him, that the only thing he could see was what caused this. Still he smiled brightly anyway, laughing even. "Come on Dee, you're home. You know no one knows where we live. Besides you got this place more secure then Fort Knox and Area 51 combined!"

April stood to follow them into the lab only for Casey to pull her back. "What are you doing?" She shot a angered glance back at him but he kept his face calm. "I want to help!"

"You can by staying away." He saw he eyes narrow so he continued. "It isn't a secret now that he still has feelings for you. The last thing I the world he would want is for you to see him like that. Let them handle this."

She yanked her hand back to retort only to have Leatherhead stand up and place a webbed hand on her shoulder. "He is right. Donatello's mind can be at ease here. The walls he built to protect himself out there will crumble quickly. The best thing we can do for him is allow his family to help him."

"They all want to fuck him though! Given what had happened right now he needs friends too and he doesn't have too many of them! Thing he could tell to them that he cant tell to his family…" She looked at them both. "He always told me everything!"

"April, Donnie didn't tell you about his brother's proposals…he didn't tell you about him still having feelings for you…" Casey stood up and hugged her. "He didn't even tell you how much it hurt him to hear you say you hated him." He felt her tense body relax. There was no arguing with him on this. He was right.

She hugged him back, burying her head in his shoulder. "Why though…we used to be so close…" She recalled the hours they spend in the lab just talking as he worked, tinkering with this and that while helping her with her homework, always with that dorky smile on his face. Always pointing out her mistakes and even with frustration in her voice as she corrected it, he politely explained the correct method to find the answer. He never talked down to her, never made her seem like a fool. He cherished her.

The red head pulled back and looked to Casey. "We should head out. Let's go to the library and grab a few other things. I really want to talk to my dad about something." Yes she would repay him in a way she was sure he would appreciate. It was because of him she had her father back, because of him she was with Casey. Her happiness was all because of him.

"I know that look. What do you have in mind?" He could see the sparkle in her eyes, knowing that there was something she would not let die. She leaned him down and whispered in his ear. Casey smiled too. "Oh he will like that I'm sure, but you think your dad will do it?" he looked at her unsure.

"Of course. He said he wanted to repay him for everything, what better way then that?" She smiled softly and looked to the lab. "Leatherhead, can you let the others know we will be back?"

"Sure." The gator mutant had began to clean up Mikey's mess. His friend had a lot more to worry about then this and it would make much better sense to take this off his hands. After all he did feed him, it was the least he could do. "If you could also bring fresh bandages…Donatello is low on them." He didn't want to ask too much of her.

She gave a nod and pulled out a pad and pen, marking bandages to the list. "Come on Casey. We have a lot to do and little time." She hummed as she ran toward the entrance with Casey close behind her.

The mess was cleaned quickly, leaving Leatherhead with no one else to speak to as he looked around the lair. He saw the television and decided to indulge in a few of his favorite shows. Donatello had set up a television in his lair, even a bit of light security to which the gator was grateful for. He sat on the floor, far to big for the small couch. "Like sand in the hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives." He smiled contently; this was one of his favorite shows.

Donnie had calmed down after seeing Mikey's smile, after feeling safe in Raphie's presence, after being reassured by Leo. He was sitting up, holding a cup of water in his hands, smiling softly as he was bombarded with questions. They were curious what had caused his "episode". No matter how much he tried to reassure them it was nothing they didn't seem to buy it.

"Aint nothi'en that caused ya ta scream like that!" Raph had his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall. He wasn't happy that Donnie was keeping his mouth shut on that he supposedly saw to trigger him like that. It had him worried.

Mikey was on the table, kicking his legs back and forth. "Yeah Dee, I never heard you scream like that. It sounded like a banshee…no wait more like Black Canary!" he kept his smile, knowing it always put Donnie at ease to see him smiling.

Leo was silent. Watching Donnie like a hawk and ensuring that he caught every ounce of body language his brother showed. There wasn't much, he didn't expect there to be. Of all of them Donnie was the best at hiding what troubled him.

"I told you, I'm fine." He tightened his hold on the cup. Leo narrowed his eyes. Clearly knowing he was lying. The elder brother noted that his mask was still around his neck, yet Mikey and Raph still had theirs on, Donnie would allow himself to lie to protect them. "It was just a bad dream."

"Listen, I have bad dreams all the time Dee. None of them were like that." Mikey pat his brother's leg gently. "You don't have to face it alone."

Raph sighed. "I agree with da bonehead. That wasn't no bad dream. I'm think'en it was more a memory." He looked to his brother frowning because Donnie kept his head lower than theirs. "Ya always told me talk'en about what bothers ya helps. I am proof of dat." He of course was referring to the night before.

"Helps you guys." Donnie corrected.

Raph shook his head. "Maybe if ya would talk ta us, then maybe it would help ya."

Donnie shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to tell them anything that happened to him. Donnie himself didn't want to relive the trauma of it. It why he couldn't look up at them. He knew they would be able to see through him. That Leo's perceptive eyes would always pick up on even the smallest hints.

The leader took note and turned to Raph. "He doesn't have to tell us anything if he isn't ready." He saw the slight rise of the olive head. "If he says it is nothing then it's nothing." He saw Raph open his mouth before he closed it again. Clearly he could see what Leo was doing. Backing off for now and let Donnie come to them. All they could do was love and support him. Act to aggressive and it may drive him further away. He turned back to his brother and gave a small smile, reassuring him that they would not push the issue.

They could see Donnie relax his tense body. He didn't want to cause them trouble or worry, often times joking that it was his job to do so. It was clear Donnie didn't get enough sleep and no one could blame him. They would let this slide for now. "How is Sensei?" his voice was small, unsure how their father was taking this news.

The others were silently looking back and forth. "We don't really know Dee. He beat the shit out of Slash. He kinda shut down during Raph beating the shit out of Slash…and he wasn't too happy about…" Mikey was cut off.

"He wasn't happy that I told you the truth." Leo stood firm on his decision. He would not back down and he knew that Donnie was grateful that he did not lie to him. "He wants to have a talk with me about it later."

Donnie's head rose, looking to his elder brother. He never wanted him to get in trouble. How could their father be angry with him for doing what he asked him to. "I want to talk to him."

Leo gave a small smile. "Relax Donnie, he's upset but I doubt I'll get in too much trouble." He wasn't so sure but he wanted to try and ease his brother's mind on the possible repercussions of him jumping the gun so to speak. The look on Donnie's face showed he wasn't convinced. Yet he trusted Leo.

"I still want to talk to him." He lowered his red eyes again. Wanting them to stop staring at him like he was…broken. He was still the same Donnie. Still loved to fix things and invent. The coffee drinker, sleep deprived, doctor, psychiatrist, inventor, brother that they remember. Why were they acting like this changed everything?

Raph nodded. "Leo will let 'im know, though I'm think'en he is already plann'en ta talk with ya." He looked to Leo who nodded as well. "Now, I'm gonna go out fer a bit. Do any of ya need anything?" No one spoke up. "All right, be back in about…an hour or two 'n before ya say anything Leo, I aint leaving da sewers." He walked past Donnie, placing his hand on his shoulder for a moment. "Ya aint alone." He left then, walking to go meet up with Slash. Just as he had promised.

"I better get going too. Sensei told me to go to the dojo after I ate." He wasn't in the mood to finish his food. He needed to talk with Sensei about what as to come of them. What they needed to do. He stood up and gave his brother a reassuring smile. "I'll see you later." He walked out soon followed by Mikey. "I thought you were going to spend the day with Donnie."

"I am but I wanna talk to you really quick." He moved over to the table where he had left the book he showed Raph. "Before you talk to Sensei. It's really really really important!" he gave the puppy dog eyes that no one could resist.

Reluctantly, Leo fallowed Mikey to his room, surprised to hear the door click closed behind them. Mikey never closed his door unless he was upset. "Make it quick Mikey." He watched as his brother grabbed the first book.

"We all know what's up now, aint no hiding it right?" he watched as Leo crossed his arms. "So now we have a bigger problem. We now have to compete with Slash over Donnie right? Because Slash is his mate…right?" Leo narrowed his eyes slightly. It was easier with Raph. "What if I told you the whole mate thing was bullshit bro?" Leo's whole demeanor changed. He was no longer up tight. He relaxed his body, listening.

"How?" was the only response.

"Glad you asked Leo, look!" he pointed to the book. "According to this here, monogamous means having only one mate at a time." He set the book on the bed and held up the other one. "Don said we were red ear sliders right?"

"Yes, now get to the point Mikey." What was his brother getting at?

"Yo bro, red ear sliders are not monogamous! They will mate with as many males as they can to ensure more babies!" He smiled innocently.

Some things seemed to click in his mind. Leo took the book and read exactly what Mikey had mentioned. That their species of turtle did in deed have multiple mates. "And this means what exactly?"

"We both know Donnie wont pick one of us over the other cuz like the best brother ever he doesn't want to hurt our feelings! He even said it when you and Raph got into it. He also said that we are biologically turtles, hence why we have mating seasons! What if Donnie didn't have to pick? We could enter a poly relationship with Donnie. We all get to be with him and he doesn't have to pick one over the other! Everyone wins!"

Leo thought for a long moment before he spoke. "No." He turned on his heel, only to have Mikey grab his arm. He turned around, looking at him with a disinterested glare. He had no time for this.

"Donnie is gonna have a kid. Knowing him he isn't going to want us to be burdened with his problems. He will try to raise it on his own and we know that. If we were in a relationship, a real one with all of us, it isn't about just Sex Leo. It will show out commitment to him and his problems! Raph already thinks it is a good idea and we can work out the details later but you saw him. Donnie didn't seem interested in talking to us. He is bottling it all in again and I don't know how much more he can do that before it finally erupts." Tears formed in the corner of his eyes. "At least think about it. Splinter wont be here forever and how will we hold up without him? Donnie's absence nearly crippled us!"

When Mikey wanted to argue a point he really knew how to argue a fucking point. No doubt things he picked up on when he heard Donnie argue his own cases against them. "I'll think about it." Was all he said before he pulled away and headed to the Dojo.

~LRDM~

Raph looked up at the piece of wood that held Donnie's hand writing. "Tunnel 4: Danger". He as well as the others knew just how dangerous this tunnel was. It was where at least half the citys lines met, the drop form tunnel 4 was at least thirty feet into a swirling pool that emptied into a narrow pipe that lead out into the ocean. Raph had only been here a hand full of times. Two he recalled the most, one pleasant, the other he wished to forget.

He saw the unmistakable shell of Slash. Sitting in the very spot all those years ago. "My kid flushed me." Slash said softly. "He was only a child and we were playing. I ended up here." He looked down at the ground. "Cold and all alone."

"It's where I found ya." Raph moved to sit next to him. "Took ya home 'n ya became my best friend. That seems like a life time a go." He looked out at the swirling vortex. "Mikey was so jealous, he kept hound'en Splinter ta get 'im a pet." He smiled at the fond memories.

Slash looked down at Raph. He could see he was uncomfortable being there. After all it was only a few months later that Tunnel 4 became infamous among the small family. "You still blame yourself?" he asked softly.

"Every damn day." Because of him they almost lost Donnie at a young age. He balled his fist. "Do you still blame yourself?" he was referring to what happened during mating season. How he had raped his brother an unknown amount of times.

There was a small grunt. "Yeah." He shifted his weight. "Like I said, I had no intention of hurting him like that. All I know is that my bro…Newtralizer had gotten him from some dimension and brought him back. He knew I wanted him but I would never have acted on those…desires."

"Why did ya tell 'im then? Why did ya make it so obvious?!" he tried to stay calm, he was doing this because he had to for Donnie. He needed to make peace, wanted to make peace. Slash had made poor decisions since his mutation and Raph wanted to know why. What had he done to him to deserve his hate?

"I thought I could trust him. He called me brother and I was alone." Raph knew Slash hated to be alone because Spike hated it. "I saved Donatello from him. Newtralizer was trying to force himself on him. I was able to stop him, but I am sure we have not seen the last of that bastard." He had been hurt, his trust once again betrayed.

"Christ…" Raph balled his fist. What the fuck? Newtralizer wasn't even a turtle, why the hell would he want Donnie for that?" he shuddered at the thought him. Now they had him to worry about with Donnie? The list just seemed to grow lately and it was looking like it was best if Donnie were either to never leave the sewers or leave New York all together.

"I knew how you felt about him. Even from a young age you always said you were gonna marry him." He recalled watching Raph make crayon art of him as a knight saving Princess Donnie.

He was taken back by this. Slash could have easily over powered Donnie and taken him before mating season. Yet he didn't because he knew Raph loved him. He still cared about Raph even after their fight.

"I wasn't myself during the first three days. The mutagen…it did something to my head. Made me so angry and aggressive…I did things I regret and I knew you wouldn't forgive me for hurting your brother's." he sighed heavily. "When I was hurting him, Donnie tried to reason with me. Tried to tell me he knew it wasn't my fault…the more he talked the angrier I got." His voice was cracking. "Then I remember seeing him enter the cell…I remember how beautiful he looked…how sweet he smelled…"

This was not what he expected when he came here. He thought they would argue and fight but this…his friend was clearly upset about this. He had thought Slash was happy with what he had done to Donnie. The way he flaunted it against him and his brothers. The things he said last night. It was all a front.

"It was like something controlling me. A voice in side just nagging at me to…" he sighed. "I remember the look in his eyes…the scream…how good it felt…I could smell the blood as it mixed with my seed…" he felt the tears break through. "He never hated me for it. He told me so himself but you can see that it affected him. I didn't know that he could…I wished he would but I never thought he could…"

Raph placed a hand on his friend's arm. "I know buddy." He recalled his own mating season. How he felt that same nagging and calling to breed Donnie. No matter how hard he tried, there was nothing he could do to stop himself from lusting after his brother. Almost as if watching himself do it with no real control. "Donnie already told me it aint ya fault. Said it was nature and biology shit I hardly understand. Told me he didn't blame ya for none of it."

"That Donatello is too pure for this world." Slash closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "What actually happened here? All those years ago?" He was curious. No one but him and Donnie knew the whole story. Neither of them were willing to say.

"Just me being a fuck'en idiot." He looked down at the vortex. He could almost hear the screams from his brother's tiny voice. He could still see the tiny olive green hand as it was pulled under the water. They were just kids playing around and because of him… they almost lost that warm smile. It was clear he didn't want to talk about it. "So…Ya gonna be a pop soon huh?" it didn't sit well. Yet he had to make peace with it. There was no changing the fact that Donnie carried his kid.

The larger mutant grunted. "Don't know what to do. My species never stayed with the young, but because I have some human in me all I can think of is to defend it." He was conflicted on it.

Raph looked up at him curiously. Clearly Slash was more animal then the rest of them. "I think we found a way ta make things work fer all of us." He could see Slash looking at him. "Mikey can take da credit cuz it's his idea." He had a sinking feeling that Slash wouldn't like the idea. "So…given that we are a specific kinda turtle…red beaked?" he tried to think, what had it been called? "Not important, anyway, we aint monogamous. We have multiple mates…well the females do…and since Donnie is biologically a chick…with a penis…" why did it make sense when Mikey said it?'

"Donatello wont choose any of us over the others." Slash lowered his head. As much as he desired it, there was nothing he could do. Donatello would never willingly be with him. He had to accept this. The only connection they would have would be that child. "I just want what will make you and him happy. If it is with eachother then so be it. There is little I can do to change that. What I wanted for us…it was only a pipe dream."

"Slash…" Raph stood up. "I know ya didn't mean it. Donnie knows ya didn't mean it. He doesn't hate ya!" he stood before him. "Listen, when we thought of this, we factored yous into it as well. You are the father of his kid and there is no way we can change that. We can only do our best for Donnie and that kid and we wanna make this family as close as it can be."

"You wanna know the scariest part of all this?" Slash said softy. His eyes looking down at Raph. "That no matter what I do…what I say…I can never take back what I did to him. He can pretend all he wants. Come up with some science shit to defend my actions…but in the end, I can see it in his eyes. The hurt…the pain…the silent suffering…I cant take that away from him. I doubt anyone could." He looked ahead. "If he never truly loves me I can live with that. I can only hope when he looks at our child that he will love them and cherish them. I don't want him to look at them and think about how they came into this god forsaken world. I want him to love them…"

~LRDM~

Leo sat before his father with his legs tucked under him. His eyes carefully watching his master and father as he poured the green tea into the cup. The silence was always deafening. He hated it when he knew his father had much to say about something but refused to prolong it. The old rat gently handed him the cup and they both drank together.

"Sensei I…" he wanted to break the silence, to break the tension that grew between them. He hated that most of all. As if he had disappointed their father. That he was not the Heir he had always hoped for. Yet he was cut off by the raised hand. Anyone who knew Hamato Yoshi knew better then to speak when his hand was raised for silence.

The rat sipped at his tea. Keeping his eyes closed as he stroked his beard. "You have grown quite bold in recent months my son." His eyes looked at him with a angered glare. A look his children had grown to fear. "I had attributed it to the loss of your brother, but now I can see that it is something more." He set the tea cup down gently. "You did not consult me before telling your brother the truth, you went behind my back and disrespected my authority in front of your brothers."

The eldest son lowered his head. He knew what he said was true. Leo had snapped at Splinter once or twice, yet he was always quick to apologize. Splinter was quick to forgive as he felt it was the pressure he was feeling as the leader to not only find their missing brother but to do so without his second in command. That on top of the mutation of his daughter, expectations from his brothers and even April and Casey…he had thought the pressure was getting to him. Now he could see defiance in his eyes. His son was willing to fight for what was right, what he believed was the right path.

"I will not apologize." Silver eyes raised. Looking at him with his head held high, like the true born leader he knew he could be. "I followed your orders. I followed my heart. I showed my second and my brother the trust you instilled in us. Everything I did was based upon what you taught me about being a good leader and brother."

The hand stroking his beard stopped. His tail thumped against the tatami mat in annoyance. He could not fault him on any of that. "Even so I had been preparing to break the news to your brother since Mr. O'neil told me about Donatello's true biology." He sighed heavily. "I fear I have failed you all in not knowing the truth. I had been too ignorant of the possibilities and even ignored the evidence that had been so clear." His eyes softened. "What are your intentions my son?"

The turtle tilt his head to the side. "My intentions?"

"I understand that you and your brothers have been attempting to court your brother even before he was discovered to be a female." Before Leo could ask how he showed him the stack of security tapes. Those had been set up years ago as a their first security system. "I have not needed to review them before as I had full trust over you all. Now I can see that you all have caused your brother a great amount of stress." He then pulled out the notes Donatello had on them. Most educated guesses. "I have been reading up on his discoveries. He has even made it clear you are all not related by blood." He set the page down between them. "This would mean if you three proceed to court him, it would not be considered incest."

Leo looked the information over. While he was aware of some of this he had not seen just how extensively his brother had researched into their biology and genetic makeup. He was impressed with Donnie and all he had accomplished, even more so at the diagram of their supposed anatomy that had been hand drawn by him, the amount of details was astonishing. "Why are you telling me this?"

"You four are the only ones of your kind. Slash is very close but he is not the same. You four are my sons and all that survives of my clan. Miwa is still so conflicted…I cannot be certain she will ever see herself as a Hamato." There was pain in his voice. She was his only true born child. "Even so, I had always had the hope you would each find someone that would make you happy and who would bring you peace. I never expected that you would have the ability to have your own young."

The leader wasn't sure what his father was saying. What did any of this have to do with him telling Donatello the truth? Still he remained silent wanting to hear his father out fully.

The old rat looked him in the eyes. "You are my heir. When I die you shall inherit the clan and all that comes with it. This means your brothers well being, the home we have built and the family we have made." He could see his son still did not understand. "It is my intention to solve all of our problems simply and traditionally. While there is little I can do to make things right, I feel this would be the best solution for all."

He set before him an album of photos. Some dating as far back as the edo period. Leonardo was encouraged to look through the album. Each held a near identical picture of a standing man and sitting woman. "Wedding photos?" the leader questioned. He made it to the end, the last page held the photo of their father with his late wife Tang Shen. "I don't understand."

Yoshi stood then, moving silently to the photo of his wife and infant daughter. "I do not wish to have my son suffer with his rapist." He had heard the scream from earlier. It only served to seal his final judgment."I have the desire to protect him and preserve his honor the only way I can think of." He moved his hands behind his back. "It is my intention to have you court and wed your brother Donatello."

Leonardo's jaw clenched tightly, hands balling upon his legs as he tried to process what his father had said. Why had he come to this decision? How had he just so easily decided Donatello's fate like this? They had only learned he was with child last night, Donatello had only known a few hours. What was his father thinking? "I do not understand…"

"It is clear. If Donatello continues to suffer as he had this morning I shall personally take care of Slash. I want the child to grow with two parents. You are the heir to the Hamato clan and so Donatello is the only one who can provide you heirs. It will ensure the safety of the family and the continuation of the Hamato bloodline." He turned to him. "This is what you desired is it not? To have your brother, to have a family, to have my blessing?" he set his hand on his son's shoulder. "It is everything you want."

His son moved quickly, bowing before him lowly. "Father please reconsider! While it is all I could ever have hoped for it is nothing that he wants! Donatello will never agree to it because he knows that it will hurt Raphael and Michelangelo! They love him just as much as I do! They desire him as much as I do!"

"They cannot protect him or his child." His voice was stern, unmoving like a mountain. "You are the most skilled of them all and I have seen how well you two work with each other. It has saved you and your team countless times." He looked down at his son. "Raise your head." The young turtle did not move. "I was not asking! Raise your head!" this time he was obeyed.

"Father please! If you force him to do this he will hate us both! Raph and Mikey…" he saw the raised hand, he disobeyed it. "We are not monogamous!"

Splinter looked down at his son, raising a brow.

"Our species of turtle will mate with many males to ensure a diverse clutch of eggs! We are not bound to a single mate and I know that if you allow us to work this out you can have everything you want and everyone will be happy! Donatello will be safe, I will have my heirs and the family will be strong! Even Raph and Mikey can have children, the Hamato name can be just as strong as it was before!"

"I will not allow such under my roof…" he was cut off.

"We are not human!" he shouted. "We may live as humans, we may pretend we are and forget we are turtles by emerging ourselves in your culture and civilized thinking but in the end…" his eyes teared up, so full of pain and sorrow. "We are four silly little turtles." He looked into his father's eyes. "We can never be the sons you want us to be. We can only do our best and I know that this is not the way to make things right!"

His father looked at him a long while. Looking like a dignified man that refused to have his judgment put into question. He slowly walked to his son. "I will make the necessary preparations." The old rat moved past him toward his room, opening the door before he looked back. "Your wedding shall be on the summer solstice." He slammed the door shut, sealing the final word.

~LRDM~

The chuckle was forced. Mikey could tell just by the way it sounded. Even though his laugh was full hearted and real, Donnie's was forced. It made him want to cry, knowing that his brother was trying so hard to make him happy. He didn't want to call him out on it, knowing that pointing it out would only make things worse.

"No Dee I'm like totally serious! She asked Leo to make Raph roll over!" he slapped his knee and held his sides. "Seriously bro, it took everything not to laugh my ass off right then and there!" Mikey calmed down some. "I seriously cant believe she is Splinter's daughter…"

Donnie's chuckle died quickly. His head tilt slightly in confusion. "What?" Seriously, what the heck did he just say? It was indeed a shocking realization that Karai was truly their father's lost daughter. Worse yet they had been fighting her, she who was their father's only blood born child.

"Oh right! You weren't here for that. Anyway, turns out Karai is actually Miwa who was kidnapped and raised by Shredhead. She and Splinter had a moment but she was pissed off at her fake daddy and tried to off him for killing her mother. Needless to say, Shredder got the upperhand. We tried to help her and get her back but…" he froze before looking at the wide eyed Donnie. "She got mutated into this snake thing. We haven't seen much of her since. Splinter is devastated. Bro…I'm sure he actually cried." His voice was low, saddened by the memory of it. A memory he didn't share with them. "Don't know where she went. We lost track of her a few weeks ago when she was helping us look for you. We told her you created retro mutagen and could help her."

Donatello put his hand on Mikey's shoulder. "I will. I'm sure we will find our sister." He gave a reassuring smile. "I know I can." He was always able to fix things. Anything that was broken, with enough time, patience and elbow grease. "So tell me, what else did I miss?" Mikey needed him. The others didn't always understand what he was saying or talking about but he did. He had the patience to listen to him, even as tots. When his words would go a hundred miles a minute when he was really excited or scared. They had always looked to him to tell them what he was saying.

"…so anyway, Leo got all pissy with Raph because he felt you belonged to him because of some kiss, even going as far as to say you were his mate. I told them that this wasn't like a good time for that but as usual they blew me off. So, they started at each other almost like they thought they were the best kisser. I was just standing there pissed off because who cares who is better I didn't even get to kiss him. I'm just totally beside myself because they cant seem to get off each other's dicks about who kissed you first when I'm pretty sure it was Raph…"

He wasn't sure how to feel hearing that his brothers were still fighting over him. That they had continued to lay claim to him when each had forcefully taken what was not theirs. Yet, even now he could read between the lines. He knew Mikey well enough to know what he wanted. 'They got to kiss you…why not me?' He wasn't going to outright ask for a kiss, he knew he wouldn't refuse a request from him. Mikey liked to play games, sometimes when it wasn't fully appropriate. He wanted to be just like his older brothers. To share and experience the same things they do and often time he was left out, much to his displeasure.

"…I mean I get it Dee. I cant imagine learning what you did about yourself and still feel like you have to make the choice on who to be with, so really just focus on yourself for a while and stop kissing your brothers…" he laughed at his own stupid joke. "I bet Raph is a bad kisser, he seems like the type to try and tongue you."

Donnie looked away, down at his hands. He recalled his first kiss, how it was taken from him by his hot head brother. Raph had been aggressive just before then, pinning him to the wall because he was going to call himself a burden. It was then he leaned in, kissing him and claiming him with his tongue. He had been so terrified then, so afraid of what was happening and so unsure how to handle it. Raph had been angry because he did not reciprocate the kiss.

"Now Leo…I doubt that jerk even knows how to kiss. He probably considered a peck on the lips something quite passionate. You know that guy is seriously under qualified to be a good lover, I mean passionate lover…He seems like he could cum just by holding your hand…"

He held himself. The first kiss with Leo was anything but pleasant. Leo had been even more aggressive, more assertive. He was rough and cold as he forced himself into the kiss, wanting to replace his own scent and claim over what Raph had done. His timing was poor as well, in the middle of battle while trying to escape the Kraang with an unconscious Mikey. Leo was not himself, and given how he was yesterday night, he could tell it was due to the coming mating season.

"What about you?" Donnie spoke softly, not looking up at his brother.

Mikey stopped talking for the first time since they were alone. "Me?" he rubbed the back of his head. A light blush dusted across his freckles. "Well Don't know. Never kissed anyone. I mean there was that time when April kissed my cheek but im not thinking that counts. I mean I practiced once or twice…three dozen times…watched some youtube videos…" the more he spoke the deeper his blush got. "Always wanted to wait you know…for the right moment. Like in the movies. Kisses have to be special right? To really mean anything? Like in the Princess Bride! I want to kiss only one person, the same one I have been wanting to kiss for like ever!"

"Humperdink?" Donnie was trying to joke around with him, but it came out pitifully.

Mikey burst into laughter, falling out of his chair and onto his shell. "Are you freaking kidding me Dee? Like I would want to kiss that buffoon when Daddy Wesley is right there?" he wiped the tears from his eyes, he even saw a smile on his brothers face. Just for a second, but an actual smile. He stood up, chuckling softly as Donnie shook his head. "No, seriously though I really had only one person in mind."

He watched as the sea foam green hand laced with his own. It looked so much fuller and healthier than his, so much warmer. He felt the other hand curl a finger under his chin, slowly raising his head so their eyes meet. Baby blue eyes, so soft and loving, so full of energy and wonder. Eyes of the youngest brother. His only baby brother. The hand squeezed his own, reassuring him. "Whenever I thought of kissing, as weird as it may seem…it was always you I imagined." His voice was different. It wasn't innocent and cheerful. It was serious and deep. It broke his heart because his little brother was seeing so grown up now. "I want to take care of you Dee." He leaned forward, tilting his head to the side.

Donnie closed his eyes, accepting the fate that he knew was to come. Mikey wanted to be on par with their older brothers, to have had the same experiences as them and to keep up with them. So when Mikey's lips pressed against his own, he opened his mouth, allowing his little brother to do as the others had. To lay claim to what was not his.

His heart raced in his chest when he took Donnie's hand in his own. He could feel the bones in his brother's three fingers and it made him sad that he didn't even look up at him. So he fixed it, curling his finger under that pale green chin and smiled brightly. He spoke deeply, sensually without changing his voice much. "I want to take care of you Dee." He meant it, every word with every ounce of his being. He took advantage of the moment, leaning in and fulfilling his fantasy of kissing his sexy brother. From the moment their lips touched he could feel the electrifying pulse shoot through him, urging him to deepen the kiss. He never expected it to feel so fucking good, or for his body to heat up like this. Yet when Donnie opened his mouth and accepted him, Mikey lost control.

He tucked his hand behind his brother's head, laying his head back against the metal bed. Never once removing his lips as his tongue laid claim to his brother's mouth. Cleansing it of all who came before him. He hopped on the bed, making sure he didn't rest his body on Donnie as they continued to kiss, his hands gathering his brother's as he raised his arms above his head, holding them there easily with one hand. He pulled away, breaking the kiss and looked down at his brother. He licked his lips and smiled down at him. "Nice view."

Donnie was panting, eyes half lidded, cheeks flushed as he looked up at the other. The purple mask was still around his neck, his body was bare of all gear from having been injured. To them, it was the same as being naked. "Please…" was all he could choke out as he turned away. His breaths picked up as he tried to will himself to calm down. This only made things worse.

Mikey was willing to indulge Donnie more. The please only encouraged him to give Donnie what he wanted. "If you say so bro." he leaned back down, pecking the corner of his lips and jawline.

The elder brother choked back a cry. He wanted to kick him away but his leg hurt too damn much to move. He turned back to look at his brother only to see him not there. He froze in fear, looking up into a large dark shadow with spike protruding from it, sickly yellow eyes glared back at him. His breaths were quick and shallow causing him to feel light headed and weak. The beast buried himself in the nape of his neck, causing him to curr. The fell of the other on him only moved to increase his panic, he was unable to think straight as the quick breaths weren't providing enough oxygen to his brain and try as he may he couldn't get it undercontrol. He felt like he was suffocating on air as he weakly tried to break free of the hold.

The shadow moved his hand down his body, pressing it's leg between his own, pulling them apart to rest between. Another cry and couldn't find his voice to protest. That was when he felt the large spiked hand easily cup his face, keeping his head turned as his long tongue licked down his neck. That was it, Donnie struggled and broke free, using his good leg to kick himself out from under the beast. Everything around him crashed to the ground, the IV in his arm flew out of his arm as he hit the ground on the side of his shell, knocking the wind out of himself. He grabbed his arm, holding the now bleeding hole where the IV had been, his body curled in fetal position, his tail tucked between his legs.

Mikey was stunned. All he did was kiss him and Donnie started to breathe heavy when they broke away. His hands had hugged himself, digging his nails into his skin causing him to bleed. When he tried to ask what was going on, his brother didn't respond. He wasn't seeing him. He looked so helpless, so afraid as Mikey picked up on the onset of a panic attack. He took his hands by the wrist, yanking them down so he wouldn't continue to gouge at his own flesh. He didn't know what to do. So he tried to get Donnie's attention, tried so hard to get him to see him his brother and not what eyes monster he was so terrified of. No matter how much or how loud he cried out his name he wasn't responding to him, as if he couldn't hear him at all. When he cupped his head in his hands, Donnie let out a choked sob before pushing away from him. His grip and loosened by the push and Donnie fell from the table to his side in a heaping mess.

Raph had returned by them, had run into the room when he heard Mikey's panicked cries. He had seen Donnie's face. How terrified off Mikey he had been, but he knew that it wasn't Mikey he had seen. He ran to them but he was too late, Donnie had fallen from the bed and was having a panic attack on the floor. His breathing far to quick and shallow to easily be maintained again. As he made his way all he could hear from Mikey was choked apologies, I didn't mean to's and im so sorry's.

Slash followed suit, worried about Donnie and the child. He had just seen him fall, curled in a heap upon the floor as Raph made his way to him. Leatherhead was trying to get answers from the youngest turtle and Slash made his way to try and assist with Donatello. Raph had his head on his lap, trying to prevent him from hurting himself further. He tried to speak, tried to get through to his brother but he couldn't. Donnie wasn't listening to any of the as he pushed them away. When his eyes looked up at his own, he could see true fear in those purely red eyes. There was silence for but a moment. A small moment as they stared each other down. When Slash reached out to him, Donatello screamed.

~LRDM~

Here we are yet again after another chapter. There was a lot that went on in this one and I believe it is the longest one yet! Good news as well, I have this Story on Wattpad under "Broken as Shell" with a hand drawn cover by myself (it's not very good…but hey im proud of it!)

Anyway, I know a lot of you may be upset with how I portrayed Splinter and I get it, but the 'I don't support your love because of incest' trope is way too played out with them. I will say I think Splinter is trying his best here given everything that has happened. He is trying to create stability in the family, trying to ensure Slash can not hurt Donnie because he knows Leo will not let him. He is ensuring his grandchild will not grow up without 2 parents and he is ensuring the continuation of the Hamato name.

When I write the chapters I have my Donnie Shimeji Crawling around my desktop lol.

Places to get in contact with me just because you wanna be my friend

Discord: Aoiryuujinshimada#7505

Wattpad: Saiyahime

Pintrest: Saiyahime

Tumblr: Ahrihime

Just let me know your fanfiction name!

Now then.

GUEST01: Originally I was going to have Tunnel 4 be the place there Donnie nearly died when they were still tots, the number 4 in Japanese superstition is considered an unlucky number. Due to your comments it was also now made the place where Raph found Spike. So you did impact this story! I read that fic! It is awesome lol. You're right, they arent thinking of what Donnie wants, mostly because they really don't know what Donnie wants. He doesn't really speak up to his brothers. Most of the time he goes with what they want. Thank you! It is hard sometimes to write this fic, because it brings back memories and feelings I wish I didn't have to remember but in writing it, it oddly helps. Seeing as I'm not good at talking to others about my problems face to face. Like Donnie I know I shouldn't bottle up my emotions but I cant help it. Mikey is very smart, he just chooses not to act on it.

ROXANNE0910: THANK YOU! IT means the world to me that you took time to review!

THE BUTTERFLY'S LULLABY: I'm sorry to bring up painful memories. I don't mean to do so and if I hurt you I am deeply sorry. I don't know the pressures of an eldest sibling but I know what its like to have an older and younger sibling. Kinda the best and worst of both worlds. Often I feel forgotten by my family until they want/need something, again much like Donnie. You are right! You are my Drug and I cant get enough of your reviews. Yes there are cultures that have more then one partner, it is not uncommon or unheard of in the world. You are welcome for the updates and I hope they all are to your liking.