A Soft Place to Land

Inspired by A Year in the Life – Spring

Lorelai: I was at the inn, working on the books a little, using the calculator on my phone, and it rang. And it was Mom with the news. He was in the ICU. Heart attack. Big one. And we hung up. And my phone went back to being a calculator.

It just seemed so unreal. You can't plan for these things. And he never got out of the ICU. He was conscious at times, but in and out. And he was angry. He was really angry. He couldn't believe it. He's Richard Gilmore. This is not how Richard Gilmore goes down.

You know what his last words were? "Get the hell away from me." Aimed at the nurses, not us. It was actually pretty funny. And then... just like that.

Description: Luke comforts Lorelai in the wake of Richard's death.

Luke stared out the windshield at the long, dark, winding road ahead. It shimmered in the moonlight from the recent rain, making it all that much harder to see when the twists and turns were coming. But Luke didn't need to see to know. He had taken this stretch of road too many times to count; Friday night dinners, cocktail and holiday parties, evenings out, trips for supplies, you name it. Hartford was as good as a second home to him these days, whether he liked it or not.

This was his fourth trip home in two days, not from the Gilmore estate, but from the hospital.

The first came when he got the call. Lorelai had just heard about Richard's heart attack. She was at the Inn, and she called him as soon as she got the news. It had taken all of seven minutes for Luke to leave the diner in Caesar's capable hands and make the trip to the Dragonfly to collect her. Then, together, they made that first trip to the hospital.

It always seemed like the first one was the longest. Somehow those familiar roads just seemed to go on and on without an end in sight. Thoughts swirled in their heads, never spoken. Total silence filled the cab of his old green Chevy. All he could hear was Lorelai's deep and laboured breaths, as if she'd been running. He felt his heart beating fast, nerves whirling in his gut.

He'd done this twice before – driving to the hospital to see Richard. But this time felt different. He knew in his bones that it was different, and he could tell Lorelai knew it too.

When they got there, they found their way quickly to the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit – the CICU. Emily was there, alone. Rory was on the next flight out of London, but she wouldn't be there for hours yet.

They were waiting. Richard had been rushed into emergency surgery, a quadruple bypass. It had only been an hour or so. They would be waiting without answers for a while yet.

It was a different scene, Luke realized, than the last time this had happened, almost nine years earlier. Emily had been all business then, running around and making arrangements, ensuring their home would be ready for Richard's arrival when he was finally released. This time, she sat in silence, staring blankly ahead as she waited for word. His usually verbose partner, Lorelai, was just as quiet. All Luke could do was hold her hand and hope she felt supported.

It was several hours later when the doctor came out to provide an update. Richard's surgery was complete, but the damage to his heart was severe. He was in a medically induced coma as they waited to see if the bypass would make a difference, or if the hard working muscle had just had enough.

Only two people could see Richard at a time. Luke sat outside the giant double doors that Lorelai and Emily had disappeared into twenty minutes earlier, just watching, just waiting. There was so much waiting on that first day.

It was another thirty minutes or so when Lorelai came out alone. She had been crying. Neither said a word as she sat next to him in a hard plastic chair and dropped her head into her hands, elbows on her knees. Luke rubbed her back. It was all he could do.

XXXX

When Rory finally arrived, it was around 10pm on that first day. She found all three of them sitting outside those doors. The nurses had kicked everyone out so the patients in the CICU could rest quietly. Once Rory was there for extra support, Luke left for his first trip home.

It was late, and he was beyond tired as he navigated the highway back to Stars Hollow. His head throbbed liked someone had taken a hammer to it. He was hungry. Even though he had gone on food and coffee runs all day for Emily and Lorelai, he hadn't managed to eat yet.

When he pulled up in front of the house, he got out of his truck and turned to lean against it for a moment, breathing deeply. It had been a long day of recirculated hospital air and the smell of antiseptic. He needed to breathe real air, to fill his lungs with something that didn't make him think of death.

When he'd had his fill, he crossed the lawn to Babbette's house and knocked on the door. From inside he could hear Paul Anka barking. It was late, but the lights were on and he could hear the television in the living room. It only took a moment for his neighbour to open the door.

"Hey," Luke said. Babbette's frown was instant.

"Doll, you look like death warmed over," she told him. He couldn't help but smile at that, a small one.

"I'm just checking on Paul Anka. Thanks for taking care of him."

"Anytime, Sugah. He's doin' just fine, don't you worry about him. You wanna come in for some tea?" she offered.

"No, thanks. I'm just picking up some things for Lorelai and then I'm going back to the hospital."

"How's her father doing, anyhow?"

"Hard to say," Luke answered honestly. "They did the bypass, but they don't know yet if it's gonna help."

"That's awful. Just awful. Tell the girls we're thinkin' of 'em. Emily too," Babbette said. Luke nodded.

"Thanks again." He left her with a wave, heading across the lawn to his dark home. He took a quick shower, desperate to get at least some of the hospital off of him, before dressing in clean clothes and packing a few outfits and toiletries in a bag for Lorelai. He scarfed down a peanut butter sandwich before heading back out to his truck and making the drive back to Hartford.

XXXX

Day two started with a bang. Luke had just returned to the hospital when Richard coded. He stood in the hallway outside of the CICU with the three Gilmore women as a fleet of doctors and nurses rushed in to take care of business.

They came back out within twenty minutes to explain what had happened. Richard had taken another heart attack. He flat lined. They brought him back. His prognosis wasn't good.

When they finally let the girls back in, Rory went with Emily and Lorelai stayed out with Luke, plastered to those damn seats.

"You should get some sleep," Luke attempted. Lorelai shook her head, her lips curled inward and set in a straight line. "Coffee then?" She shook her head again.

Nothing made Luke feel more impotent than not knowing how to help.

XXXX

It was after 11:30am when Luke made his second trip home from the hospital. Once the excitement and panic from the early morning had settled down, the girls were finally started to get antsy, and hungry. He was sent in search of burgers.

He went to Luke's. Checked in, provided a courtesy update for his staff, and slapped a few burgers on the grill for the ladies. He chowed down on a turkey club while waiting for the patties to cook.

Some folks came into the diner when they saw his truck outside – Patty, Kirk and Reverend Skinner. He opted to speak only to the Reverend, thanking him for the offer of prayers in the next day's service, and genuinely appreciating the older man's words of compassion and perspective. Luke wasn't an overly religious person, but the Reverend was a good man whom he had known for a long time. He was there when Luke lost his own father. He knew, better than most, the kind of loss that Luke had endured.

When the burgers were done, Luke thanked Caesar again and grabbed the bag, heading back to the hospital for the third time in just over 24 hours.

The girls were grateful for good food. Even Emily inhaled the burger like it was her last meal. Lorelai and Rory teased her about it, and she smiled. It didn't reach her eyes, but all of them were grateful for the reprieve. As hard as it had been on them, it had been so much harder on Emily.

Lorelai and Rory went in to see Richard while Emily was picking at her fries. Luke sat next to her, the silence between them less tense than usual.

"I don't think he's coming out of there." Luke nearly jumped at the sound of Emily's voice, it was so unexpected.

"You can't think like that," he offered. She shook her head and closed the styrofoam container she'd been picking from, setting it on the seat beside her.

"It's different this time." She caught Luke's eye. "I didn't want to say this in front of the girls. I just want you to be prepared. They're going to need you."

"I'm always here," Luke assured her. Emily nodded her understanding, and the pair lapsed back into silence.

XXXX

Luke's third trip home happened with Rory as his passenger. Richard's condition hadn't changed since the early morning crisis, and she was weary. She needed to shower, change her clothes, and get some fresh air. Luke offered to take her back to Stars Hollow where some boxes of her belongings had recently arrived.

"Do you think this is it?" Rory asked, about halfway home. Luke sighed. He didn't want to lie to her.

"I don't know," he answered as honestly as he could. Rory frowned and looked out the passenger's side window.

"I'm not ready for this to be it," she said, more quietly. She sniffled, and Luke felt his heart sink. Few things were more potent than the tears of Rory Gilmore. Even at 31, her big blue eyes seemed to carry the innocence of the world. She would forever be a little girl to him, to the man who called himself her stepfather, even if he had no legal right to do so. She was his as much as she was anyone's, and when she hurt, he hurt.

He didn't know what to say, so he reached over and put his hand over hers, giving it a squeeze. She continued to stare out the window, but she turned her hand over and clasped his in hers. They stayed that way until he pulled into the driveway.

XXXX

Luke went in to see Richard when the girls made a group trip to the bathroom. It was his first time entering the CICU since this whole ordeal had begun the day before.

Throughout the day, Richard had been in and out of consciousness. The doctors opted to ease up on the medication that kept him under to see if he could wake up without them. It was a crap shoot after his second heart attack the night before. Chances were good that he would never open his eyes again.

But he had, for a few minutes here and there. He was groggy, confused, and angry.

Luke didn't intend to stay with Richard for long. He just felt compelled to see him, to say something, anything, to the man who his girls loved so much.

Richard was asleep when he approached his bedside. There were IVs, tubes, tape, gauze and everything else Luke hated about the hospital all in one place. This man who was a giant, who made him feel so inferior so often, suddenly seemed very frail. Luke almost wished he would wake up and grill him on the Greeks or ask him about his golf game.

"I don't know what to say," Luke whispered. He tucked his hands into his pockets, resisting the strange and unwelcome urge to hold the older man's hand.

The beeping of the heart monitor made Luke uneasy. It was like the Jeopardy! theme music, he was just waiting for it to time out, to signal that it was over. He stood over Richard's unmoving body and spoke the first words that came to him.

"I remember being here with my dad," he said. "It wasn't like this, exactly. It was cancer. He was gone in a few months, we knew it was coming. Still felt the same though."

A nurse walked in to check Richard's vitals. Luke waited for him to leave before continuing.

"I promised him the night before he died that I would take care of my sister and her kid. I don't know how good a job I did of that, but I tried," he admitted. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'll take care of them, Richard. I know I'm not your favourite person in the world, but you have to know that I'll take care of them."

The beeping droned on. Richard's eyes didn't open. Luke sighed and pulled a warm hand out of his pocket. He reached out and squeezed the older man's hand, once, and then retreated. With a final look at the peaks and valleys of the heart monitor, Luke headed for those big double doors and the hard plastic chairs.

XXXX

When Richard woke up the next time, it was a little after midnight. The nurses offered for all four of them to come inside and see him while he was semi-lucid, but Luke opted to stay back while they took some time to be with the man.

From outside he could hear the ruckus. Richard's voice, hoarse and weakened, rising above the others. The anger was back. Luke was relieved not to bear witness to it. He understood the anger all too well. It was the anger of not being able to change your circumstances, of being stuck in a situation you didn't choose and don't want to be a part of. He'd felt that anger a few times himself – maybe not to the same extent, but he had.

The chaos only lasted a few minutes. It was followed by silence.

Luke knew before the girls came back out that it was over. He knew it in his gut.

He held them all for a moment or two. Lorelai, then Rory, then Emily, and they held each other. The tears flowed freely, sobs wracked bodies, knees weakened and they fell back into the chairs as they each endured their individual and collective pain. Luke didn't cry, but he felt the pain as acutely as if he was openly weeping.

There was business to be taken care of. Rory and Lorelai stood vigil next to Emily as she wrapped up what needed to be done at the nurses' station. Arrangements would be made – many were already in the works. Emily was prepared this time, as she had been last time.

It was after 1am when they left. Rory insisted on going with Emily. Lorelai had offered, but both of the other women encouraged her to go home, to rest in her own bed. She hadn't slept in two days.

If the first trip to the hospital was the longest, the final trip home was the hardest.

Lorelai wasn't crying, but she seemed to be shivering. It was mid-September and the leaves were just starting to turn. It wasn't very cold outside, but Luke turned the heater up to full blast to try and still her quaking body. He held her hand like he had held Rory's, but this time it seemed to offer no solace.

That awful feeling of impotence was back.

When they got home, Lorelai kicked off her shoes and dropped her coat and bag on the floor of the entryway. She headed straight upstairs with no preamble. Luke picked up her jacket and put it on the coat rack, lined her shoes up neatly by the door, and put her purse on the table before toeing off his own shoes and heading for the stairs.

When Luke entered the bedroom, he could hear the shower going. The bathroom door was open a crack, offering the only light coming into the dark space. He took his hat off and put it in its customary place on his dresser, then shucked the rest of his clothes, changing into his sweats and tee shirt for bed. He wanted a shower too, felt like he needed one, but he could wait until morning. He wanted to be there for Lorelai when she came back out. He climbed into his side of the bed and laid down to wait.

The shower turned off after a few minutes, and only a moment later, Lorelai appeared in the doorway. She had a towel wrapped around her and her wet hair hung limply over her shoulders, dripping down her skin and soaking into the white terrycloth. She hung in the doorway for a moment, staring blankly into the room, before going to the bed and sitting down on her side. With her back turned to Luke, he could see the slump in her shoulders, the way her whole body seemed heavy with the weight of the past few days.

"Lorelai," he said, his voice barely a whisper. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"What now?" she asked, staring down at the floor.

"You need to get some rest," he told her.

It took another moment, but Lorelai eventually laid down and pulled the sheets over her, still wrapped in her towel. Her hair immediately started soaking into her pillow, but she didn't seem to notice.

The tears came again. Luke shuffled closer and she took the invitation, rolling across his open arm, her head going to his chest as she cried. His shirt quickly became wet from her hair and her tears, not that he cared. All her could do was give her a shoulder, be a steady force while she went through her grief. He had lost his parents too – he knew all too well what she was feeling.

With his arm around her, Luke rubbed the soft skin of her shoulder in what he hoped would be a soothing gesture. Her hand on his chest was covered by his, grounding her to his heart. Her sniffles and sobs caused an ache inside of him. He didn't say anything. He knew there were no words to fix this, no platitudes that would make it better.

Eventually Lorelai's sobs began to lessen and the tears dried up, but she stayed rooted on Luke's chest. The only indication she was still awake was the occasional sniffle or clearing of her throat.

Luke closed his eyes, but he couldn't sleep. He wanted to. God knows, he needed to. But he couldn't, as long as she was awake. He had to wait her out, in case she needed him. He thought they were getting close when her breathing began to even out, but then another sniffle let him know she was still stirring, and so he strengthened his resolve not to let sleep take him.

The first motion in over an hour was Lorelai's head turning into the fabric of Luke's shirt where she breathed in deeply his scent. He let his hand that was on her shoulder slip up into her hair, which was now mostly dry, as his fingers began to massage her scalp gently. She continued to breathe him in for a while, before dropping a kiss to his chest, then another.

Luke recognized the sensuality of her actions quickly. After loving her for close to twelve years, he was well acquainted with the way she moved, the way her touches changed, the way her kisses became longer and deeper when she wanted him. The only thing that surprised him was the timing, the mood.

She shifted a little higher, dropping kisses to his chest and shoulder until she reached the exposed skin of his neck. Luke kept his eyes closed as her parted lips descended over his pulse, her tongue sliding over the constant beating.

Her hand on his chest slipped out from beneath his and moved lower, charting a course they both knew well. He knew she wouldn't find what she was looking for down there. He stopped her hand on his lower abdomen.

"What's wrong?" her voice was a whisper in his ear. He could hear the thickness of exhaustion in her tone, the rasp from her crying. He opened his heavy lids and looked over to her, finding her watching him expectantly. Her eyes were puffy, her nose and cheeks were red.

"Nothing," he told her, despite himself. He shifted onto his side to face her. "Nothing's wrong."

He captured her lips gently, testing her commitment to their course. She met him with fury, kissing him harder than expected. He opened his mouth to her probing tongue and let her take what she wanted from him, as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her body flush with his.

They kissed this way for some time, hands exploring each other's bodies as they went. Luke easily pulled the bath towel apart, exposing Lorelai's heated skin to him. Naked, she moved against him sinuously, her body sliding to meet his at every juncture. Her hand grasped the material of his shirt in a fist and pushed it upward, seeking his skin against hers. Luke sat up just long enough to pull the offending article over his head before returning to her.

It had been a long few days and Luke's entire body was exhausted. It fought him as he tried to give Lorelai what she needed in these wee hours of the morning. He could sense her frustration growing as he failed to rise to the occasion, but even without an erection, Luke was determined to give her something to work with.

He urged her onto her back as his kisses migrated south, his lips and tongue coming to sweep her breasts in the way he knew she liked it, with long, languid strokes and light nips to her sensitive tips. He teased one with his hand as his mouth descended on the other, and then swapped to provide equal attention to both until she was moaning his name into the quiet of the night.

Luke moved lower then, coming to kneel between her thighs, which she parted for him eagerly. With his fingers, he stroked her up and down. She wasn't as wet as her actions would suggest, telling Luke most of her behaviour was bluster, a distraction, not a genuine physical need. Nonetheless, he was willing to go along with it. He put two fingers in his mouth, making them slick with his saliva, and brought them back down to her core, sliding them inside.

Lorelai was silent as Luke began to pleasure her, which was unusual for her. Her eyes were closed, and her lips were parted. He could see a look on concentration on her face as she sought to focus only on what he was doing to her, only on the good feelings he was creating.

He eased himself down and continued to finger her as he brought his mouth over her clit, giving it the kind of attention she usually craved. He slipped his tongue around the nub, pulled at it with his lips and licked it full on in an attempt to bring her up. He curled his fingers inside of her, finding her becoming wetter as he continued his ministrations.

A small moan left her mouth. It was quiet, barely a breath, but it was something. Luke redoubled his efforts. He shifted lower, pulling his fingers from inside of her and replacing them with his tongue as he lapped at her.

Another moan.

He licked up and down, from core to clit and back again, wetting her entire sex, creating a slick playground for him to engage as he brought his thumb to her swollen bump and his tongue back to her centre. The two worked in tandem to continue the targeted assault, speeding up in time with Lorelai's breaths, going harder when her hips began to move.

"Luke," his name left her lips in an exhale.

He switched it up, tongue returning to her aching clit, three fingers pushing back inside of her and thrusting in and out while he sucked and nipped, letting her hips do the moving as she ground down into his tongue with every stroke.

She moaned again, louder, throatier. Her hand came down and tangled in Luke's hair, while her other grasped her breast, capturing her nipple between her thumb and forefinger, squeezing it tightly.

Luke could hear her arousal with each stroke of his fingers. She was close, he could tell. He urged her toward the finish line with determination, his tongue flicking her clit roughly as she crested, a deep, guttural moan coming from inside of her, her hand fisting in his hair, pulling it at the roots.

He licked her as she went through it, and came down from it, easing back as she landed, swapping to languid strokes of his tongue that massaged her sensitive clit and sent last second bursts of electricity through her body.

When she unhanded his hair and her arms fell limply to the bed, Luke pulled away. His fingers slipped from her spent core, and he placed a gentle kiss to her stomach as he crawled back up the bed. He dragged the blankets back over them before settling down at her side.

Lorelai curled into him when he landed, her body warm and moist from the exertion. He hugged her tightly to him and rolled onto his back, bringing her head back onto his chest the way it had been when they started. She dropped a kiss to the skin of his chest, wrapped her arm around his waist, and closed her eyes.

He waited until he was certain she was asleep to give in to his own desperate need to rest. With one final kiss to the top of her head, he closed his eyes and drifted off. The next few days would be difficult. They would both need their strength.

A/N – I know it's sad. I just wanted to explore this other side of their intimacy. Hope you liked it. Let me know.

Next Chapter Inspired by Episode 6.18 – The Real Paul Anka

LUKE: You want to step back about 3 feet so I can say goodbye to my girl?
CAESAR: Fine.
LUKE: You gonna miss me?
LORELAI: Especially if my elbow hurts.
LUKE: I'm gonna call you a lot.
LORELAI: Same here.