Ben
Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.
A/N-thank you for the kind reviews everybody. I am sorry for the lack of updates, sighs. This chapter was a nightmare to write. Anyway, here we go…
Chapter Thirty-The Monster Behind the Smile
After leaving Esme's Bella drove straight to La Push. As she drew nearer, she felt her heart palpitating wildly underneath her ribcage. She was more scared then she had ever been in her life-and that was saying something-considering what she had been through. What if Jake couldn't find it in his heart to forgive her this time. She knew how much he loved her, but even he had a limit to his patience. This was a monumental thing she had been keeping from him. She hadn't kept it from him on purpose. There had just been no need for him to know about it. At the time she had been so set on her future being with Edward-the possibility of her still being human when the Volturi bothered to check that she had kept her promise to be changed-had been so remote as to be non-existent.
Then Ben had come into her life…
No, that was wrong, Ben had saved her life.
The old Chevy protested irritably as she swung it down the familiar dirt track leading to Jacob's house. She forcibly changed gears and it groaned, the suspension doing little to ease the journey as the ramshackle vehicle shuddered over every dip and pothole in the ground. Bella was openly crying when the Black's little redwood house came into view. Even before she reached it, she saw Jacob pop his head out of one of the narrow windows, before he thrust open the front door and came running out to meet her. Bella switched off the truck's loud rumbling engine, leaving it popping. Before she had even opened the driver's door, Jacob had pulled her out. She landed on his warm chest, snuggling in immediately as his strong arms wrapped around her.
"Hey, are you crying?" Jacob asked in concern when he felt her tears wet his hot skin.
"No." Bella lied as she breathed him in. Jacob smelled like the forest after a rainstorm-clean and fresh. Natural. His arms felt good around her body. Safe. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I love you." She whispered, burying herself against him so he couldn't get a good look at her face.
"I love you, too." Jacob wasn't fooled. He knew she was upset. He picked her up as easily as if she was a small child and began to carry her toward the house.
"Not the house." Bella protested suddenly. "The beach. I want to go to the beach."
"In this weather?" Jacob asked dubiously as he eyed the black clouds amassing above their heads.
"You can keep me warm." Bella whispered as she rested her head on his shoulder. "Please, Jake, I want to go somewhere we won't be interrupted. I have something to say."
Jacob frowned. This didn't sound good. He glanced down at her pale face which were still wet with tears. Someone had upset her…or something. He felt his happiness dissipate as he did what she asked and changed direction, heading for First beach instead.
They ended up walking along the beach hand in hand. Bella was pensive, her head bowed against the wind as she tried to gather her courage together to speak. Jacob was being extremely patient like he always was. She knew that he knew that this was something that was going to hurt him. She could tell by the tension in his body. They paused in their walk as Jacob bent down and picked up a rock and chucked it into the waves.
"Jake," Bella began.
"Is this to do with the leech?" Jacob interrupted her before she could say anymore. He stayed still, breathing deeply through his nose as he tried to keep his composure. But when he glanced up at Bella the pain in his dark eyes took her breath away. She knew right then what he was thinking.
"Jake, I'm not going back to him!" She rushed to reassure him.
A shudder rippled through Jacob and he closed his eyes briefly as he absorbed her words. "Fuck, I thought…" He stopped talking as he reached out and wrapped his arms right around her, crushing her against his chest as if trying to make her a prisoner of his ribcage.
Bella let him hold her for as long as he needed to, until he felt reassured enough to let her go. She couldn't blame him for thinking that. How many times had they been down this road before? But still, it saddened her that he still carried that secret fear that she would leave him.
"Sorry." Jacob apologised as he reluctantly let her go. He smiled weakly, before taking another deep breath to quieten his racing heart. "I didn't mean to interrupt you. What were you going to say?"
Bella gazed up at him sadly. She reached for his hand and cradled it in-between her own. "I love you." She said again.
"I know." Jacob cocked his head to one side and regarded her thoughtfully. "What you're going to tell me is still gonna hurt, right?"
"I love you." Bella answered him as she tugged him closer to her. "I should have told you earlier."
"Told me what?"
The sound of the waves beating against the shore sounded loud in her ears. It started to rain, the fine droplets sliding down Bella's cheeks and mingling with her renewed tears. With a heavy heart she began to explain.
Jacob listened in silence as she told him about the promise, she and the others had been forced to make to the Volturi in exchange for their release. Jacob's wet, tangled black hair was sticking up in every direction around his handsome face. Bella wanted to reach up with her hand and run her fingers through it, to pull his head down to hers and beg his forgiveness, but she remained standing pensively in front of him, waiting out his reaction.
"Are you mad?" She asked eventually when he didn't immediately say anything.
Jacob closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When they flashed open again, their black depths showed no blame, instead they were full of concern, concern for her. "Shit, Bells, I can't believe you've been keeping that to yourself all this time. You must have been so scared! C'mere." He held out his arms to her and she walked straight into them, but this time the tears burning her eyes were ones of relief and not despair.
Jacob called an emergency meeting for that evening so that he could tell the pack about the possible looming threat of the Volturi. Bella became anxious all over again. Even though Jacob had reacted well, that didn't mean the others would. She wouldn't blame them if they kicked off, though Jacob told her numerous times that this was unlikely.
"When will you get it through that beautiful head of yours that you are part of the family, Bells." Jacob reminded her when he caught her rifling through the cupboards in his kitchen. She was trying to scrape enough food together to cook a feast for the pack in an attempt to apologise for plunging their lives into chaos once again.
"You don't need to do this, honey." Jacob tried to coax her away from the stove.
"I need to do this, Jake. Please let me do this. Tell Billy I'll replace all the food…" Bella pleaded. Cooking was the only thing keeping her sane right now.
Jacob sighed. He knew there was no point in trying to persuade her. Instead he worked alongside her, chopping and prepping the food while she cooked it.
"Are you gonna eat that?" Quil asked as he snagged the last hot dog before Embry had a chance to grab it.
Embry scowled irritably as he punched his friend hard on the shoulder in retaliation. Quil ended up coughing and spluttering as he choked on the hot dog, sending the rest of pack into fits of laughter.
Jacob laughed along with them as he leaned against Bella's knees. He heaved a sigh and patted his stomach. Bella marvelled at how it was still flat, she had lost count of how much he had eaten. She watched as he reached for a bag of supersized chips. "Want one?" He offered.
"No thanks!" Bella pulled a face as she pushed the bag away from her.
"You've hardly eaten anything." Jacob scooted back to his feet and settled down beside her on the overturned log she was using as a seat. "Have some." Bella caved in and took a few in her hand to appease him. "That's better." He said, smiling.
The fire crackled, settling lower toward the sand. Sparks flew up in a sudden puff of brilliant orange against the black sky. The sun had set ages ago and Bella wondered how late it had gotten. The 'meeting' had turned into a beach party. As soon as the pack saw the food, they had descended on it. Jacob had just let everyone party. He didn't seem in a rush to tell his brothers about the latest bombshell she had dropped. She had wondered why at first, until she realised, he was doing it on purpose. He probably thought they would take the news better with full stomachs and everyone feeling relaxed.
"Have you tried contacting Paul again?" Bella asked after a while.
"I've left a few messages. He'll come by when he's ready." Jacob said nonchalantly as he threw a potato chip in the air and caught it easily into his opened mouth. He chewed it, grinning at Bella when she flashed him a look of concern. "Stop worrying, Bells. It will work out."
It wasn't just the pack in attendance. Billy was there, his wheelchair stationed at what seemed the natural head of the circle. Beside him on a folding lawn chair, looking quite sprightly for his age, was Quil's ancient, white haired grandfather, Old Quil. Sue Clearwater, widow of Charlie's friend Harry, had a chair on his other side; her two children, Leah and Seth, sat on the ground in front of her.
Bella noticed Billy looking in her direction and she gave him a slight wave. He smiled in response, nodding his head slightly in acknowledgment, before returning his attention to Sue and Old Quil. Something about his smile told Bella that Jacob had already pre-warned his father about what was coming.
"You told him?" She whispered to Jacob.
"Yep!" Jacob shrugged as if it was no big deal.
"Jake!" Bella couldn't understand why he seemed so relaxed about everything. "Why didn't you tell me he already knew? Did you tell anyone else?" She asked suspiciously.
"Sam knows." Jacob revealed with another shrug.
Bella's face paled as she chanced a glance in Uley's direction. Even though Jacob said he knew, Sam didn't seem troubled by it. His whole focus was on Emily. He smiled lovingly at his imprint as she whispered something in his ear. "He looks remarkably relaxed." She confided to Jacob. "I thought he would be angry."
"Well Sam's had a huge weight lifted off his shoulders." Jacob said as he finished the last potato chip and stowed the bag away with the other rubbish.
"He has?" Bella felt confused.
"Yes, he has." Jacob made eye-contact with Bella properly for the first time.
Bella met his steady gaze curiously. Something was definitely up. "Jake, why do I feel that this meeting isn't just about what I told you earlier."
"Because you would be right." Jacob admitted for the first time. He stared deeply into her eyes, making Bella's cheeks grow warm. He had the look of a man who loves deeply. If it were anyone else Bella would have dropped her gaze by now, but with him she was always drawn in closer, always wanting more. "We're okay, you and me?" He asked.
Bella nodded, her eyes memorising every part of his handsome face and imprinting it into her memory for eternity. In all the world there wasn't another like him, or her for that matter she supposed. He was her soul mate. And he was hers. His fingers grazed her cheek gently as he drew her face toward his. Bella held her breath in anticipation for the kiss she knew was coming. But to her surprise, he turned her head slightly to one side so he could whisper in her ear instead.
"Don't freak out, okay." He kissed the shell of her ear lightly.
Bella bit her lip as a ripple of desire coursed through her. She knew that once he kissed that sensitive spot on her neck she would crumble. She felt his hot breath on her neck, then the tender brush of his lips. Burning as they made contact with her skin. He ran his hand through her hair, as the kisses become harder and more urgent. Another hand slid around her waist, as he pulled her close to his pine scented body. His kisses travelled along her shoulders and in her hair, before his lips were once again hovering close to her ear as he finally made a confession of his own.
"The reason Sam is so chilled is because he's not the Alpha anymore. I am."
Paul swung the yellow Porsche around in a wide arc as he braked hard, stopping just shy of Alice. She immediately flew into the passenger seat beside him and he punched the gas, making the tires spin on the tarmac as he sped off toward Esme's apartment.
"We're not going to make it." Alice said in despair.
Paul glanced at Alice's small face. Her eyes appeared glassy, but of course she couldn't cry. She bit her lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from her mouth. "This isn't your fault, Pixie."
"Yes, it is. I should have been keeping an eye on Edward and Carlisle, but instead I was being selfish because I was enjoying hanging out with you." Alice's lower lip quivered as the words slowly made their way out of her mouth.
"You weren't being selfish." Paul sighed. "You're allowed to have a life, Pixie. You can't always live for others."
Alice was grateful for his attempt to make her feel better, but she still couldn't shake the guilt. "I still can't forgive myself."
"Have you called Esme to tell her what's going on?" Paul asked her suddenly. "I mean her asshole husband is parked in front of her apartment. She'll have a better chance at stopping him then we will right now."
Alice's golden-brown eyes opened wide in shock. "I can't believe I didn't think of that. Paul, you are a genius!" She cried as she hastily pulled up Esme's number on her cell phone.
Carlisle wasn't prepared as a slim white hand punched a hole in the driver's side window of the Mercedes Guardian. He was sprayed with glass as the owner of the same hand wrenched the expensive cell phone out of his nerveless grip and crushed it all in one fell swoop. Shocked, he turned his head to look through the broken window to find Esme glaring at him from the other side.
Combing his fingers through his blonde hair in an attempt to remove the broken shards of glass from the silky strands, Carlisle pushed open the driver's door and exited from the vehicle gracefully. More glass spilled from his lap onto the asphalt as he confronted his angry wife. "Alice pre-warned you." He guessed. "You have no right to look at me like that, Esme!" He said defensively. "I'm trying to save you from making the biggest mistake of your life."
Esme stared at Carlisle in disgust. How quickly love could turn to hate, she thought as she glared at the man who had once been her whole world. His shitty behaviour, his betrayal, had destroyed the last vestiges of any feelings she once held for him. She saw him as he really was. A patriarchal figure who hadn't moved with the times, no matter how he tried to pretend otherwise. Carlisle wanted the control and to make all the rules. She was supposed to have forever remained the stay at home wife to care for him and their pretend kids. It was probably why he had chosen to change her; in her human life she would have fit that role perfectly. She remembered when he had changed Rosalie, expecting the stunning blonde to make a suitable wife for his favourite son. She recalled how displeased he had been when Rosalie didn't fit that mould. Instead she had looked at Edward with disdain, and he her. It was the first time he hadn't been able to exert full control over the picture-perfect family he was trying to create. He had only changed Emmet to appease Rosalie. When Alice and Jasper joined the family, he saw them as a means to an end. Alice and her pre-cognitive powers were useful, as well as Jasper's ability to sense and manipulate the emotions of people around him. Esme wondered how often he had asked Jasper to use his gift on her to subtly shift her mood so he could exert his control over and get his own way. She recalled once when Jasper had used it on Bella, during one of the rare times she expressed a differing opinion to Edward, he managed to calm Bella down to the extent that she fell asleep and Edward got his own way.
"You can't control what I do or where I go anymore, Carlisle." Esme snapped.
"Oh, can't I?" Carlisle dropped all pretences. He stepped forward, looming over Esme as he stared deep into her eyes. "You might have stopped me calling the authorities now, but that doesn't mean I won't in the future." He warned her. "If you want my silence then you'll give up any attempt at fostering that boy and hand him over to the Swans. Then you'll give up this pathetic attempt at independence and come back to me like the dutiful wife you should be. I'll give you a week to agree to my terms or I will unleash hell on you and all those you claim to care about. Do we understand each other, Esme?"
"You unimaginable bastard!" Esme gasped, her eyes widening in horror.
Carlisle caught hold of her chin in a tight grip as he grazed his thumb over her quivering lips. "Don't use language like that, my darling. It doesn't suit you." He said harshly before letting go. "You have one week, Esme." He warned her one last time before climbing back into the Mercedes and driving away.
A/N-thanks for reading!