5th Year Part Seven: Chapter 25

"You are one of the people I never asked from God. But still, he gave you to me. I asked him why, he said, "Because he can fill your life like no one else can." "

~.O.~

Hermione arrived via timed portkey to Grimmauld Place just two days after her conversation with the Dark Lord. In that limited time that they had spent together, the new knowledge that he had bestowed upon her first night back at Malfoy Manor constantly lurked in the recess of her mind. Although he had not brought up the topic after that first long conversation, he often looked to her with a searching look swimming in his eyes as if he did not know what she was thinking on the matter. She did not deign to bring up the topic either as there were simply too many thoughts on the topic rather than none at all, and she could not bring herself to bring them up to him sporadically with no order at all. But he had resorted to probing her mind for her surface thoughts occasionally if her Occlumency shields had told her anything, notifying her to the gentle and out of character tickles she often felt in the back of her head when he thought she wasn't aware.

She also did not say anything further on the topic as to why Nagini had bitten Arthur after her first inquiry, to which the Dark Lord had said, "She lost her temper, she doesn't like being in dark places such as the Department of Mysteries anymore with all those years she spent away from me in exile. The dark and loneliness scares her now." She had not the energy, as much as she loathed herself for pushing it under the rug, for bringing it up any more with all the information on Horcruxes and the Deathly Hallows floating about her brain.

Horcruxes were one of the most horrible and catastrophic magics to be done to the soul. The splitting of one's magical core that could have the potential to destroy you utterly and entirely was something even the most educated, confident, and darkest witches or wizards would not attempt to accomplish no matter the glory. Or so Hermione had read on the limited information on the topic from the books Tom had given her to read before she left to return to her friends. But a sixteen year old boy had completed that feat many times over during the course of ten years, years in which he was twisted into something unrecognizable to the people who held him in high regard. Twisted and molded into a madman who had done something as unspeakable as attempting to kill an infant child, infinitely more unspeakable than the magic that had tangled him to begin with Hermione was of the mind to think. Seven horcruxes was once his goal, to split an already split soul even further until eventually nothing of the former intelligent and sane man remained.

She had asked him how it was possible for him to break into Harry's mind, and for the first time ever, she saw something like uncertainty cross his face. He didn't know.

As for the prophecy, even Severus was not privy to the whereabouts of it, nor why the Order has deemed it the time to begin protecting it on Dumbledore's orders. How would he even know other than from Severus, who has said nothing to him of the matter, that it was in need of protecting in the first place? To Severus' limited knowledge, he simply knew that a few within even the Order knew where it was hidden so as to minimize those who could be captured for information and otherwise. But what Hermione was more inclined to believe was that while there may very well be a select few who knew where it was being held, Dumbledore and his trust issues did not allow for chances nor wiggle room regarding Severus' allegiances when he was the one to originally bring the first few sentences into the light directed by the Dark Lord. The fact that he had not brought up the fact of the prophecy to Dumbledore allowed for little questions, although he had entertained that perhaps there was another spy within the Dark Lord's circle. But even that was simply not probable, it had to be Dumbledore's all- knowingness coming into play once more.

Hermione continued into Grimmauld once it was revealed between the two muggle flats, her thoughts continuing to wander away from her as she stepped into an all too quiet household holding each of the Weasley children and several adults.

She thanked all the Gods of the world that the man had chosen to repair what he could of his existing soul, for the simple reason that he admitted he had made a mistake in dabbling in this powerful magic he had no concept as to what the long term consequences were. That his achievement of immortality may very well have to be in name alone if it was a choice between that or living the life he had for years before his previous body's death. The choices he had made in his youth being something that had led to his resorting to the life of a parasite. In addition, although Hermione had not been raised as or would call herself as particularly religious, she did give a brief thought as to what would happen should he never achieve his goals, the damage Tom had done to his soul must have a reckoning once he faced the gods who had dictated all humans must die at one time or another.

Her mind then took a left turn away from contemplating the validity of the Deathly Hallows on top of everything else as something else occurred to her out of the endless black of her thoughts, bringing back into the light once more something she so worried about more than anything else.

Dumbledore had once said that those conceived of a love potion, as Tom Riddle Jr was once Merope Gaunt set her eyes on the muggle Tom Riddle Sr, that they could not grasp the notion of love. Could not feel something as fickle as the haunting only tragic emotion…

How wrong she thought he was…

She hoped… just as she hoped Tom's soul would live on to the ends of the earth as he wanted…

The house was most probably within it's zone of silence due to Molly threatening her children not to disturb their recovering father who Hermione found sitting in the living room, talking to Sirius while the Christmas hat with a small puff at the end jiggled slightly with a jolliness she did not quite feel at the moment.

"Hermione!" The redheaded patriarch greeted her with a raspy voice, although his bright smile tinged with weariness was no doubt the best his body could conjure in it's healing exhaustion.

"Hello, Arthur." She said, bending down to hug him lightly around his shoulders taking care of the no doubt raw wound covered beneath snow white gauze upon his neck. Nodding to Sirius as she sat next to him while Mr. Weasley occupied the loveseat, she asked, "How are your potions tasting? I suggested to Professor Snape that he begin adding in mint, although he does seem to insist on keeping with efficiency over taste."

They both chuckle at her words as Hermione noticed how Sirius' eyebrow raised in her periphery, "It makes all the difference, thank you, Hermione. I have to ask though, how in the world did you manage to convince him? I know he can sometimes take issue with people trying to take over his potions."

She smiled slightly, "He has allowed me to assist once in a while after we had returned to Hogwarts after summer break, persistence helps as well once you have already proved yourself a decent enough potioneer to him."

Their short conversation was cut short as Molly bustled in from the kitchen with a tea tray boasting a steaming teapot and several colorful vials, relief coloring her face once she saw the curly haired girl.

"Oh, thank goodness you are here, my girl!" The mother said, grabbing Hermione in a quick hug before holding her at arms length with her hands resting a comfortable weight on the girl's shoulders. "I am glad you were able to come over earlier, Hermione. I do hope you will be able to get Harry out of the funk he seems to be in." She glanced to Sirius before looking back to Hermione with hopeful eyes, a frown creasing her forehead, "Sirius has even tried and simply nothing seems to be working on him, he won't talk to anyone that I have seen since he has been back."

Hermione smiled as best she could, knowing he most likely would not be in the best of moods since she had parted with him too quickly to speak with him once Dumbledore was informed of Arthur's condition. Too quick to speak in private what he was thinking of himself in light of his possession by the Dark Lord.

"Don't worry Molly, I will get him talking again. Just like I have just told Arthur, I have experience dealing with difficult men." She turned to ascend the stairs as Mrs. Weasley twisted back to her husband with a quizzical expression once he reigned in his low chuckles.

Sirius having apparently resumed his silent watchful presence as he had done over her as well as Severus whenever they had been within the walls of Grimmauld Place. Hermione continued to ignore the rudeness and confusion of it all for the moment. Harry was her concern at this point.

Encountering Ron as he was walking back down the stairs, they paused in the middle as she asks him how Harry has been. His brows furrowed just like a miniature version of his mother, Hermione thought for not the first time, "He's sleeping. He seems to always be sleeping since we left Hogwarts. And he hasn't ate since that day."

Hermione was now the once to crease the gap between her eyebrows, knowing the already skinny boy couldn't exactly afford to be losing any weight in the first place. "I'll get him to eat. Has he said anything at all to you? Your mum said he hasn't spoken at all."

He got a certain look staining his face that she had seen directed at the darker headed boy many times before, and yet never thought she would see it coming from the third member of their usually small trio. Uneasiness. "He hasn't said much, but I've never seen him like this, 'Mione. It's even worse than Cedric."

She nodded her head in assent as she pushed past the taller boy at his words, continuing into their shared room despite him calling her name before clicking the door shut once the light illuminated Harry's place in the room. She simply was not in the mood to deal with his uneasiness. Carefully making her way to the bed where he laid with his back to her, the cat eyes she had acquired years ago came in handy in dodging the various clothing items and quidditch books littering the floor. Without saying a word, she listened to his breathing for a moment as she sat on the edge of his bed, her hip just touching his back before she wiggled her hand underneath his arm while her feet kicked off her shoes. Resting her hand on his stomach as she placed her head on the pillow just behind his head, his breathing remaining the same steady rhythm as it had been since she had entered the room. He was awake, although he knew better than to try and feign sleep in the face of her usual stubbornness and patience as he squeezed the hand laying on his front, offering silent comfort.

"Hi, Harry," Hermione whispered as she closed her eyes, fitting the rest of her body to his by bending her legs behind his own, getting comfortable for their conversation that would most likely be long and punctuated by silences as he gathered his own scattered thoughts and emotions. Finding the right words to give a voice to an unnameable feeling.

They lay like that for many minutes, time in the darkness seemingly having no meaning when in silence until Harry's quiet voice broke it.

"Hi, 'Mione."

"Do you want to talk about it? About what you saw, felt?"

Harry once again lapsed back into his silence as she predicted, until he finally spoke once again after heaving a big sigh Hermione felt in the cheek that rested on his back, "I've been having dreams since the summer. About Voldemort's snake. It has been searching for something but it thinks in a different way than we do and I can't tell exactly what it wants. Or where it is."

Find where the prophecy is hidden, dear girl.

But what am I to do, my Lord when all the boy knows is what Nagini knows?

"Was that the first time you dreamt about it? In the summer?"

He hesitated, "No, not even Dumbledore. But then again, even if I had wanted to this year, he would have just run in the other direction. Acted like I was nothing but a ghost he couldn't hear or see." Hermione squeezed him a little tighter as she heard the bitterness within his voice. Although she might not have liked Dumbledore much, she knew that him ignoring Harry since the beginning of term was a significant blow as the boy considered him one person within his rag-tag group he could call somewhat of a family. "I dreamt about her last year before the World Cup when she was with him. I didn't want to worry anyone, so I didn't bring it up, but I've had dreams after that first time that weren't real but I was still in the snake." Harry briefly thought of mentioning one in which a girl with eerily similar hair to Hermione's own had thought to ask Voldemort to pet his terrifying snake, but then did not. It was an absolutely ludicrous observation that had no merit even if they both did have the same silver toe ring gracing their right foot, to which he could now feel pressing coldly into the arch of his own foot.

"How did you know this one was real? It could have been one of those ones that weren't real."

"The ones that weren't real I could control what the snake did, but the others the snake's body made the decisions while I watched whatever she did. I could do nothing no matter how hard I tried."

I could do nothing while I tore into the closest father figure I had's throat… tasting the blood wash over my tongue and wish for more…

They were silent once again for several minutes before Harry turned over onto the side of his body that Hermione had been holding onto, his previous tension having bled from his body at their small talk as a sort of sleepy fog descended upon them in the darkness surrounding them. All the while, she searched for the words to bring up the topic both of them knew they needed to talk about, but for the first time in her life, she did not know how to do it. How to word the most delicate question. And even though she knew it wasn't possible, Hermione felt like Harry could see her through the blackness that surrounded her as clearly as she could him, and not simply the twisty curly outline of her head. His large hand not very different from Severus' with his long skinny fingers coming up to rest on her neck, his palm feeling her steady pulse that always seemed faster than his own, keeping him grounded when his mind felt just on the edge of drowning.

"Do you think I am possessed, Hermione?" His hand was like a hot brand on her neck.

He always did know when to speak first, always knew what they both need as much as she did...

She grabs his hand, pulling it to her lips to kiss it where his own pulse rested as she answered his question, "No, Harry. I do not think you are possessed. And I would like to think that I know you enough as your best friend, and your sister, when you are being possessed. That I know you better than anyone else."

The dark haired boy watched as the place where Hermione's eyes should have began to glow, a dark amber color surrounding a cat- like slit almost imperceptible in the darkness that would have matched her own eye color perfectly had they been side by side. She twisted back around on her own side, pulling his arm around her waist as she felt they were at the end to their conversation, everything that needed to be brought into the open and off Harry's chest completed.

"Get some sleep. If Ron hadn't have told me you weren't eating your stomach would have by now with all it's growling, we can get something when everyone else goes to bed." She feels him tighten his arm around her, pulling her closer to his chest, "If you want to, maybe talk to Ginny. She knows better than anyone what being possessed by the Dark Lord actually does to a person, what it feels like."

Harry not for the first time contemplated why Hermione called the most feared man in wizarding Britain by the name of which his followers most commonly used, although her explanation long ago of how Voldemort instills too much fear and He- Who- Must- Not- Be- Named was simply obnoxious flits through his head. He shakes his head slightly in his all around scattered thoughts, casting away any mentions of Voldemort away and concentrates on the girl in his arms.

"Why do your eyes glow, 'Mione?"

She smiles widely in the dark, "Because I'm special. And I have secrets, maybe one day I'll tell them to you."

He laughs quietly despite his sudden unease, and Hermione silently rejoices in that fact that she had been able to bring him away from his thoughts pertaining to his humanity and free will.

One day her empty words and promises might not be enough to mend his broken mind and soul…

"Yes you are, and yes you will even if I have to pry them from you." For the first time in days, Harry laughs in genuine glee as Hermione's tired giggles filled their small space while his cold fingertips danced across the bare skin of her ribcage to which he had lifted his shirt to get at.

~.O.~

Hermione notated Mr. Weasley's progress in a little notebook as per Severus' instructions after changing his bandages. The antivenin for Nagini's venom being something entirely new to being tested on someone she had bit, Severus had instructed her to note every change in the Weasley patriarch. She herself did not count as a subject as every drop of the beautiful snake's venom had been drained from her system during the Dark Lord's resurrection ritual.

"You would make a very good healer, Hermione," Arthur told her as she filled the notebook with her loopy handwriting, making a nice contrast to Severus' own loopy yet sharp letters. "Have you given thought to what you will do once you kids have graduated Hogwarts? When the war has ended of course." His voice was getting significantly better the farther along the scars along his neck healed up nicely. Hermione felt her mood drop a fraction at his very optimistic words that the side of the Light would end up victorious.

She smiled down as she completed her annotations though, setting the book aside before picking up her now cold tea. Holding it in both hands for a moment to allow it to steam up with a non-verbal heating charm, she answered his question as several of the other children in the house milled around in the kitchen making soft sounding thumps on the wooden floor just in the next room.

"Professor Snape has offered me an Potions apprenticeship if I would like to continue in the field," she paused before continuing, thinking on rather or not to reveal information even if the man in question had yet to broach the subject with her. "He has taught me so much outside of potions already, but I am not completely sure he intends to stay at Hogwarts once the war is over. Either way, I might choose to follow him regardless if he would still consent to teaching me. His mind is amazing even if he lacks a filter for his temper, as you had noted just the other day."

Arthur Weasley studied the girl his youngest son had been friends with for years with a smile on his face, thinking a thought that had occurred to him several times before. That the young girl had such a loving personality that even though Severus was perfectly cordial to himself, having seen the man's blatant contempt towards certain others that even the curly haired girl could cut through like a knife through butter more than ninety- five percent of the time.

"That is great, Hermione. You are a very loyal girl." The fatherly man smiled slightly at her, "But why do you suspect Severus will not continue teaching at Hogwarts? I can't imagine he has said anything to one of his students before broaching it with the Headmaster."

Hermione paused in her next sip of tea, mentally kicking herself for revealing too much information that no doubt revealed how highly she thought of Severus, or how well. The thought had occurred to her many times before, that if there had been no war Severus would have never chosen to be a professor under Dumbledore, and if by some miracle the Light did indeed succeed he would choose to be on his way. Cut ties with the Hogwarts students if not completely the staff, Minerva in particular who he seemed to be surprisingly good friends with. Her mind scrambled for words as she confusedly looking at Arthur, "I just always assumed that he began teaching to occupy a strategic position as a spy for Headmaster Dumbledore and Voldemort. That it wasn't what he would have chosen right out of Hogwarts had he had a choice, besides, working with him and spending as much time with him as I do I have always thought he would have been better suited to potions research." She shook the small book she had been taking her notes in, "Or opening his own apothecary."

Arthur once again smiled as brightly as he could, patting his nurse on the hand, "You have a very intelligent and observant mind, my dear. I dare say you would be much suited to being his apprentice."

A light thump following a low string of curses from behind the kitchen door clued Hermione into the fact that the eavesdroppers she had heard with their ears to the door were finally at an end to their nosiness. Excusing herself from Arthur to see who exactly was being rude enough to resort to listening through doors to her conversations rather than simply asking her themselves, Hermione saw that Ginny was glaring down to Ron who held his foot in his hand as he sat on the wooden bench running the length of the room. Harry sat on the other side alongside Sirius with a sheepish expression.

Hermione raised her eyebrow when Ron looked up to her with red ears and a deer- in- the- headlights mask plastered upon his face. This expression then bleeding into incredicity, she just knew exactly what he was going to say no doubt to what they had heard when butting their ears into things she was not yet ready to reveal.

"Have you bloody well gone mad, 'Mione?!" He dropped his foot that Ginny no doubt had stepped on in support of Hermione's decisions as she always did, "You really want to spend five more years with that bloody evil bat just to get your apprenticeship? There are loads more masters you could go with to become a Potions Master, and you choose to get it from him?"

Hermione raised an eye over her mug as she sipped her tea calmly, noting a brief glance between the two other teens and adult in the room. Out of all the information her friend must have heard, the fact that she was on her way to choosing Severus as her teacher for years out of Hogwarts was the one bit he focused on.

"No, Ronald. There are not loads of Potion Masters to choose from, and I would rather apprentice with one who I already know regardless." She turned to the others, "Did all of you choose to be rude too and listen to other people's private conversations?"

Ginny and Harry shook their heads rapidly from side to side, knowing that Hermione took manners very seriously. Sirius simply continued to watch her in silence. Like always.

"Why don't you hate him?" Ron asked her, his voice going lower in true confusion as Hermione's ears rang with the deja vu of it. Harry had once asked her the same question before long ago, and her answer had been enough for him to understand, but Hermione knew the same explanation would not be sufficient enough for the boy in front of her. He would never understand no matter her reasons. She knew that once their relationship became common knowledge in most likely the next few years at the end to the war, as she knew there would be no other man for her for as long as she lived, he still would never comprehend loving someone as much as she loved Severus. It simply wasn't possible.

I would very much like to see you in a white wedding dress…

Hermione suddenly remembered her mother's words to her as she sent her off into hiding, and she became saddened at the thought that she hadn't seen or spoken to her mother in a very long time. Too long even if it had only been months.

She sat her mug down beside Ron with a resolute thump, "I don't hate him for the exact reasons that you do."

Because he is a Slytherin man who bleeds the very traits of his house… just as you are intent on doing… and is unapologetically himself…