Card the moon
Chapter 21 – This is the library, shhh
…
"Get back her you little tart!"
"Who're you calling a—YIPE!"
It was true the skirt she was wearing was a bit shorter than she would have liked; it was true the bodysuit clung tighter than was proper, and all the bows and frills were just a bit—much. All that aside, it didn't make her a tart and she was greatly offended at such disparaging of her character.
Where this particular youma got off making remarks at her while looking like a cat girl fetish doll (yes, she knew what that was, don't ask why) was simply beyond her fathom. It was like the pot trying to call the kettle black, but the kettle was a teacup.
"Stop running tramp. Hasn't anyone told you not to run in the library?"
"Then why are you doing it? And stop calling me names!"
It hadn't started in the library, but after getting swatted around by the much faster youma, a strategic retreat had been required. She hadn't really been paying attention to where she was running, more concerned with the nasty claws that kept swiping at her to realize she was headed for the library, by pure instinct; no, she did not have a problem, shut up!
"Get back here!"
Dodging down the aisles Sailor Moon ignored the command. Going back would mean fighting, which would mean losing.
She needed a plan, a scheme, a trick—let's be honest, she needed a miracle.
What she got was a dead end, "Oh, shoot!"
She'd run herself into a corner, curse her inattentive feet.
"Well, well," the youma chortled, sauntering down the aisle that was her only means of egress. "Done running then?"
"You think yuyuyou've got me, but you've fallen right into my trap," the Sailor scout bluffed, badly.
She knew it was badly because the youma gave her 'the eye', "Really?" Incredulity turned all the way up.
"Yeye—yes?" should never be spoken as a question.
"Okay, if you're going to insult my intelligence, I'm just gonna rip you apart," she said, crouching low, striking her claws like flints. "GET SOME!"
"Shhhhh!"
"Don't shush me ya—wait, what the? How did we get here?"
Hermione could only blink in agreement. She was almost certain she'd just been cornered in the library. How did they get out in the hall again?
Her mind boggled, but she had more practice at this than the youma. Boggling was put on hold in favor of throwing her tiara.
"Huh! Wait! What the—waaaaaaaagh!"
"Moon dusted." *flinch* "So glad Luna wasn't around to hear that, or that bit earlier."
Damn you ghost of Shakespeare! She'd leave that part out when she told Luna what happened.
…
"She just 'vanished' from the library?"
"That is how she described it."
"She must have been so upset."
"Harry!" The cat tried to scowl but it was lost behind her chuckling.
"At least we can rule out youma on this one."
"Agreed. As much as I would love to see them trying to sabotage one another, I can't believe we're that lucky."
Neither could Harry. He didn't have that kind of luck. He had the kind of luck that saw him in dark hidden places in the middle of the night at the behest of an excitable old elf.
He hadn't really wanted to visit the chamber; stare once again at the beast that nearly killed him. The only plus to the whole escapade was getting to try out his new favorite card, FLY. It was just too bad he wouldn't be able to use it for Quidditch.
"So, what are we thinking?"
"Find it, catch it, go to bed."
"I like this plan," nice and simple.
"I like it too."
It wasn't typically in Harry's nature to jump like a startled cat, but it was, in those moments, when girls appear out of nowhere to be standing right next to you, that every man discovers the feline within.
"Oh my, did I startle you?"
"No, no, my heart always beats this fast," like a jackrabbit on speed.
"I'm not entirely sure that's healthy," the girl observed innocently.
"He's just happy to see you," the cat teased.
"Hush you," said Harry, pretending he wasn't embarrassed and the girl in front of him hadn't gone pink in the cheeks.
It wasn't that he 'disliked' her. He didn't really know what to think of her, and after her visit in the hospital wing and the… kiss… he really didn't know what to think which left him trying not to think; harder than it sounds.
"We gonna stand here all night or are we going in?" a high-pitched voice interrupted.
"That is why we are here," said Luna, the cat.
"Is it? We?" News to him.
"Well, they are the experts on these cards. I thought it made sense."
It probably did, but it would have been nice if she'd told him first.
Luna, the girl, looked at him with moist glistening eyes, invading his bubble to pose the question, "Won't you help me Harry, please?" with lower lip quavering.
He was being had, there was no getting around it, and no getting away from it. The only thing to do was hang his head in defeat and allow himself to be led into the library to the sound of cackling; one cat, one plushy.
"I've never been in here after dark," Luna commented as they strolled between the shelves.
"I have," for all the good it did him.
"Do you suppose the books talk to each other at night?"
Huh? "Why would they do that?"
"They are all full of words. They have to let them out sometime."
"I'm not sure that's right," but then again, with magic who could be sure.
"Are you certain you know where the card is," Kero asked as he floated just over Luna, the cat.
"No," said the cat. "I just know it's in a corner. She went right from the door so that only gives us two options. My moneys on the farthest corner."
If only she gambled, she could have made some money. The card sat in a large frame, strange for a Hogwarts portrait as it was perfectly still, just a mundane painting of a mysterious women, to the uninitiated.
"Okay, we found her, now how do we catch her?" asked Harry.
The card had transported Hermione and a youma clear out of the library without either noticing till it was too late.
"The SILENCE card, she hates noise of any kind. We need to be very quiet," said Kero.
"How very quiet?" The plushy stared at the girl who looked back innocently, "what?"
"Very quiet," he repeated.
"That doesn't really answer my question."
"Grr—JUST BE QUIET!"
"Shhhh!"
The group had just enough time to register the shush before the world went all wavy, and they were out in the hall.
"Well, that's one way to do it," said the cat.
"Way to go, Squeaky," said not the cat.
"Was that very quiet?" said also not the cat.
"Ugh!" groaned very not the cat.
… 2nd attempt
"Alright, very quietly… and no more out of you," he preempted before the girl could restart the comedy routine.
Stealthily, the quartet crept, quiet as dormice, but less immune to the dust.
"Ha, ha, hachoo!"
"Shhhhh!"
(wavywavywavy and—back in the hall)
"Luna!" the cat.
"Sorry."
… 3rd attempt
He waited patiently; the foot was almost there. Wait for it, wait for it… NOW! The invisible dust bunny leapt, snagging the foot and Harry went loudly crashing to the ground.
"Shhhhh!"
(wavywavywavy and—back in the hall, again)
"Stupid, smirking, dust bunny," Harry grumbled.
… and, once more
Luna stood before the portrait; magical rod poised to begin the incantation. The others stood back; buttholes puckered in anticipation. The card captor opened her mouth, took a single deep breath…
"Shhhhh!"
"Oh, come on!"
(wavywavywavy[unicorn] and—back out in the hall)
"Well, that was just…" Luna petulantly pouted.
"Yeah, just," so close.
"Harry, I think I've discovered a hole in our plan."
"Would that be the hole where all the words should be before we get banished out into the hall?"
"Yes, that is exactly the one."
"Thought so."
"So, what now?" asked the cat.
"Does 'the guardian' have any brilliant insights?'
'The guardian' did not, just very mobile shoulders.
"Well, what're we gonna do?" said the cat.
"Mrow," said the other cat.
"Now what would that do?" said Luna.
"Shit! It's Mrs. Norris," said Harry.
"Hmm, well yes, why is that a problem?" wondered Luna, the cat.
"I think what Harry means is, if she's here, her human won't be far behind," explained Luna, the girl.
"Oooooh."
"Mrs. Norris!"
"See."
"Oh, yes, that could be a problem."
It could be a lot more than that, Harry thought. Filch was hard enough to deal with at the best of times. There was no way Harry wanted to explain what he was doing out now.
"Come on!" he shouted, quietly, grabbing Luna by the hand and dashing back into the library with the others hot on his heels.
He had a sense of déjà vu, running through the library, dodging Filch. Unlike that time, he was a little bit wiser, and a little bit better prepared.
"Mrs. Norris? Where are you my love? Are there naughty students about? Mrs. Norris?"
Harry exhaled slowly as Filch moved on out of earshot.
It was very uncomfortable hiding under the invisibility cloak, he was getting too tall. He'd positioned himself against a bookshelf, so his feet snuck underneath. Luna was there too, between him and the bookshelf. Close, painfully, intimately close.
"Harry," she whispered, squirming against him.
"Yes," he whispered back, trying not to react to her squirming.
"He's gone."
"He'll be back," Filch was relentless.
"I have an idea, but I need your help."
"What is it?"
"Well…"
… and now, Argus Filch
They were close, he knew they were, he could smell'em.
Okay, so technically he couldn't smell them; his own personal odor tended to overpower all but the most potent scents; the point was, he knew they were there, and he was going to find them.
"I know you're here. Come out, come out."
A sound drew his attention, like a breeze running across the books, or a hand.
"I've got you now!" he snarled menacingly, turning the corner just in time to see a pair of dark shapes making a mad dash for the exit.
"Stop! You here what I said! Stop!"
Thundering after his quarry Argus Filch ran for, and out of the door, chasing the pair of shadows through a dozen halls before realizing, they were gone, if they had ever been there in the first place.
… Meanwhile, back at the library
"That, was, brilliant."
"I really must agree, that was very clever."
"That's my girl. Never doubted for a second."
Luna beamed crimson from her cheeks, unaccustomed to hearing such nice things from people.
"I—I think I know how to seal the card too."
… One last time
"Return to your power, confined. SILENCE!"
The portrait shimmered and glowed and all the other special effects before floating to the ground at the foot of the black silhouette.
"And that's that. Nox," said Harry, dousing the light and banishing the shadow back to its card.
"Not so hard once you figure out the trick to it," said the cat below the floating plushy who nodded sagely.
"Never doubted," he said as Luna retrieved the card.
"That's one more down," she said.
"Which leaves how many more to go, if you don't mind my asking?" said Harry.
"Uh…" said Kero.
"A few," said Luna, the girl.
"Of course," it was really his own fault for expecting anything else.