XXX.
"Whore, I require your services."
"No."
Bellatrix smirked as she leaned against the threshold of the blonde's doorway later that night, looking at Narcissa who was already in bed. She had been sleeping, although Bellatrix was never quiet when she came home from wherever the hell the Dark Lord sent her, so her thumping up the stairs was enough to rouse Narcissa from her slumber, which irritated her as it had taken her ages to fall asleep. Her guilt and her upset had been tearing her apart, and she had half a mind to just go back to Cassandra's before she resolved not to run away from her problems, but to not let Bellatrix break her either.
She was not going to be the woman's whore, no matter how angry Bellatrix was with her. She was worth more than that. Narcissa was just saddened by the fact that she hadn't immediately realized that and refused. She never agreed, sure, but she hadn't said no either, which made Bellatrix assume her silence was a confirmation that they were going to do things her way.
But no, they were not.
"That's cute— are you trying to say no now just because I said you were too weak to?"
"I'm saying no because it's three o'clock in the goddamn morning and even if it wasn't, I'm not going to let you reduce me to a sex toy," Narcissa snapped, pulling the covers around her shoulders as she sunk deeper into bed and even deeper into her misery. "I understand you're angry with me, that you feel betrayed and hurt and that it's left you in this awful depression, but you need to find some other way to get back at me, because I am saying no."
Bellatrix shot her an amused look, which only stood to infuriate Narcissa more. "This has been adorable, Cissy, really, but let's skip all this because you and I know exactly how this is going to go— besides, it's late and torturing people has always gotten me stupid wet, so let's go, Princess; my patience is waning."
Jesus, who— no, she did not want to know.
"Bella, I'm not— stop getting undressed!"
But her sister was already sliding her dress from her body and Narcissa stared at her in infuriated disbelief. What was the point of this? Both of them knew Bellatrix would never force her— she already wanted to slice her wrists open because of the questionable consent in their past, so what exactly did she hope to gain from this? Did Bellatrix think that just seeing her naked would send her into a hormonal frenzy? Maybe if it was a new thing for her it would, but Narcissa had seen her naked thousands of times now— Bellatrix might be beautiful, but it wasn't as though she rivaled a veela or anything.
Bellatrix held out her hands when she was completely nude as though she were presenting herself, and Narcissa's gaze leveled as she continued to stare at her, still wrapped up in the covers, unblinking. Bellatrix exhaled a furious breath.
"Are you seriously going to leave me to take care of myself?"
"If you're that horny, then I suppose that looks like your only option at this point, yes."
"Even though I haven't been fucked for over a month?"
"Yes."
"And the fact that you fucking owe me because you're a lying, cheating, backstabbing slut?"
Narcissa said nothing, biting her tongue as she looked away from her, pulling the covers over her shoulders as she actively dismissed her. Her stomach was in knots though, wondering if she even had a leg to stand on here; did she really deserve to have self-respect, after everything she had done to a woman she claimed to love? Narcissa knew she deserved to be punished, but she didn't want it to ruin her self-esteem, and doing this, being nothing more than a tool for her sister's masturbation while she spat on her and actively hated her… that would.
"Alright, if that's how you want to play this," Bellatrix conceded before she crossed the room, finding the second drawer to the left of the blonde's vanity before she pulled it open. Narcissa rolled around to look at what she was doing. While she expected Bellatrix to just take one of her toys and leave, that was not what happened, because of course Bellatrix wouldn't make things that easy for her.
"What do you think you are— oh no you are not!" Narcissa exclaimed as she watched Bellatrix climb into bed next to her. There was no way she was just going to let her fuck herself next to her— that would… well, to be honest, now that Narcissa thought about it, she had never actually seen her sister masturbate before. Bellatrix never had to when she was with her. Sure, Narcissa had seen her touch herself a few times here and there while they were in bed together, but they were always brief before Narcissa ultimately took over. This would be… well, a bit more in depth, and Narcissa already felt hot underneath the blankets and so she kicked them off of her in a huff.
"Go to your own room!"
"This is my room, Cissy, or have you forgotten?" Bellatrix shot back, completely unperturbed by her sister's ire as she settled herself back against the pillows, placing the deep green dildo she had found next to her on the bed until she was ready for it.
"You were sleeping in the guest room!"
"Correction, I was sleeping in the guest room and then you left, and considering your bed is vastly more comfortable than that sub-par monstrosity you decorated that room with, I decided if you weren't using it then someone should. Besides, my being banished to the guest room was only temporary— this is still my room. If you don't want to be here while I fuck myself then by all means, leave."
Narcissa glowered. She was not going to be run out of her own bedroom. "You're only doing this to bother me," she accused, which just made Bellatrix shoot her a sardonic look as she danced her fingers over her breasts, gently pulling at her nipples.
"Brilliant deduction, really— bravo."
Narcissa exhaled a furious breath and turned around, facing her back towards her sister. She might have to hear her do this, but she did not have to watch it. She heard Bellatrix exhale a throaty chuckle and Narcissa reddened in what she hoped was merely anger, because this was ridiculous. This was such a stupid, childish game— they were adults, for fuck's sake.
"I hope you feel stupid when your little performance yields unfavorable results."
And yet, apparently, Narcissa was party to the childish behavior as well, because at the end of the day they still quarreled like siblings despite the argument being between lovers, and that was a big reason why they would never work in any healthy, mature capacity. Narcissa wished she could just gather up her strength and walk out of the room instead of trying to make some stupid point by standing her ground that they both knew was only going to make this end badly, yet Narcissa could not move.
"Considering I've already pissed you off, I think I'm doing alright actually," Bellatrix shot back with a breathless chuckle, her hand no doubt getting lost further south as she exhaled a breathy moan that caused Narcissa to close her eyes, trying to block her out.
The blonde's heart ached, honestly. She didn't know what she was supposed to do to fix this. Maybe it was awful, but a part of Narcissa just assumed Bellatrix would be angry at first, yes, but that she'd… well, that she'd get over it. She got over Lucius, after all— Besides, didn't Bellatrix miss her yet?
—Oh my God. Oh my God, she needed to stop thinking like that; what was wrong with her…? She did not fucking deserve anything, Bellatrix most of all, and her constant desire to manipulate everything into the most favorable outcome for her was starting to make Narcissa ill. This was exactly the kind of shit she was supposed to have stopped doing a long time ago, yet nothing was changing. Why was nothing changing?!
"—I can't do this."
Narcissa threw the sheet off of her as she rose from the bed, causing Bellatrix to exhale a frustrated breath as she pulled her hand away from her thighs. "What the fuck, you absolute pussy— I barely even got started! Narcissa!"
But Narcissa was trying to bolt from the bedroom, just needing to get away from her. She wanted to get away from herself, honestly, but considering that wasn't an option the only thing she could think to do was get as far away from Bellatrix as possible. However, her sister did not seem to think that was a viable solution to anything, considering she had jumped off the bed in pursuit, grabbing onto Narcissa's arm before she could make it out the doorway.
"Bella, let me go! You have to— you have to let me go," Narcissa pleaded, meaning so much more than just the hold on her arm. "You're right— I'm doing the same things to you that I did to Lucius! And I… I hated being that person; I spent years on my own trying to keep myself from doing the same awful things to people over and over and I thought— God, I thought I had gotten better which was why I allowed myself to take lovers again, but I haven't. I am so… so fucking entitled; I want what I want and I don't give a damn who it hurts, but I need to!"
"No, no!" Bellatrix shouted, realizing that Narcissa meant to walk away from her completely. "No, I'm not going to let you run back to her—"
"Do you think you're the only one I'm hurting with this?" Narcissa countered, the weight of her guilt beginning to compress her chest. "I have fucked Cassandra up just as much as you or Lucius— she is so goddamn accommodating to my selfish nature that she didn't even try to keep me from going back to you! She's convinced herself that you're just another part of my mental illness that I need work through, and she's just… she's being patient about it; she's just standing there, waiting for me to finally figure out what I want, when all I actually want is— God, everything; I want fucking everything, Bella! I want all three of you, and I want you all to just shut up about it and let me live my life, but that's fucked up, that's—!"
"Cissy— Narcissa, shut up!" Bellatrix bellowed, causing the blonde to fall silent as she finally took a much needed breath. "Fuck your self-reflection," she spat, and Narcissa's jaw clenched in upset as she looked away from her. "I hate who you are but I also love who you are, and that's the fucking problem— I don't want you to change, because I know exactly what will happen if you do and I am… I am not letting you go."
"Why…?" Narcissa asked helplessly, feeling so terribly defeated. "Bella, we're bad for each other— I'm bad for you; you could be so much happier if you just found someone else…"
"I don't want anyone else, you absolute moron. You rip me to shreds and you make me feel horrible over and over again, but when it's good between us…" Bellatrix breathed, her grip becoming more gentle as she rested her forehead against the blonde's. "When it's good, it's unlike anything I've ever felt. I wanted to torture you, Cissy, I wanted to hate you for at least a little while because then I wouldn't feel as shitty about always crawling back to you, but we both fucking knew how this was going to end— you always get whatever you want, Narcissa, because I let you; and that's my fault, not yours."
Narcissa shook her head, trying to pull away from her. "Stop— stop making excuses for me, Bella, please… I need to change, I need to stop doing this to people—"
"I'm your big sister, I'm always going to protect you, even it's from your own self-hating bullshit. So no, I won't stop making excuses for you, and no, you don't have to change— because while you are a horrible person, so am I, and I have always loved you just the way you are," Bellatrix told her as she cupped the blonde's cheek in her hand, hammering another nail in the coffin that contained both of their sanities.
Narcissa didn't know what to do— she felt so helpless. Was this just another part of her sister's plan to keep her miserable? Maybe that was all this was— just a manipulation in order to keep Narcissa compliant, to keep her from running away so Bellatrix could properly torture her for breaking her heart. In all honesty, she wouldn't be surprised. Still, something about her sister's words rang truthful, because yes, Narcissa had always known this was how it was going to end. This was always how their fights ended. No matter what happened, no matter what either of them did, they still latched on to each other and refused to let go.
Narcissa's gaze fell downcast in defeat, and Bellatrix knew she was winning whatever fucked up game this was as she ran her hands down Narcissa's arms, eradicating the space between them. The blonde could feel Bellatrix's breath on her skin and Narcissa closed her eyes, trying to sort out whether this was real or just another calculated deception in order to punish her for Cassandra.
"You're lying," Narcissa decided, but her voice was strained as though she were afraid to even accuse her of such a thing, because if she wasn't then she might be ruining their chance at reconciliation.
"Maybe," Bellatrix breathed, her lips momentarily dusking the expanse of her sister's jaw, causing Narcissa to exhale a hard breath as she felt her resolve weakening. "Or maybe I'm just resigned to the fucked up reality that it will never matter what you do to me, because I'll always come back to you." She gently bumped her nose against Narcissa's cheek, nudging her toward the abyss they both had always loved hanging onto the edge of, despite knowing that someday, one or both of them were going to fall. "…Which would you prefer?"
She didn't even have to ask. Narcissa lost the will to fight as she turned toward her, connecting their lips in a searing, desperate kiss that caused Bellatrix to exhale a throaty chuckle once she had pulled away, knowing she had come out victorious.
"That's what I thought."
Narcissa knew this was a horrible idea, yet as their lips connected again and Bellatrix hurriedly stripped her of her nightgown, Narcissa could not find it within her to stop. She wanted everything to be okay between them so desperately that she didn't want to think about how she was probably playing right into Bellatrix's hands, because she wanted to believe her. She needed to feel like she was making the right choice, but usually when Narcissa thought that, it was a dead giveaway that she was making the wrong one.
In that moment though, she didn't care.
Bellatrix guided her back toward the bed before pushing her onto it, her naked body climbing over Narcissa's like a panther before her lips found her jaw, her shoulder, her neck. Bellatrix parted her lips and sucked the tender flesh into her mouth, causing Narcissa to exhale a desperate whimper as her hands fisted into a mess of dark curls. She knew Bellatrix was marking her, and she knew why— it was childish and it was pointless, as sleeping with her sister again was not going to make her leave Cassandra, but Narcissa allowed Bellatrix the brief moment of ownership anyway as she arched her back and closed her eyes, her breathing coming out in short bursts as Bellatrix made her toes curl and her hairs stand on end.
The brunette's hand fell between their bodies then, using her entire palm as she took the evidence of her sister's arousal and spread it up and over her abdomen, chuckling low in her throat. "You always were so fucking easy," she breathed, and Narcissa responded to that by kissing her again, taking Bellatrix's bottom lip in her teeth and biting down hard on it in warning. The older woman hissed and growled before she laughed, and Narcissa grabbed the hair at the base of her skull and pulled Bellatrix close to her.
"Shut up. Don't ruin this," she demanded before her free hand found the forgotten dildo that had rolled toward the middle of the bed, and Narcissa pushed it into her sister's abdomen, her purposeful gaze finding Bellatrix's. "There's a harness in my drawer. Get it." Narcissa's hand that had been in her hair fell to her cheek then, her thumb gently pulling on the woman's bottom lip before she leaned up and breathed against her skin, "I want you to fuck the life out of me, Bella."
"Mmm," Bellatrix purred, her eyes darkening at her sister's demand as she took the dildo from her. The corners of her lips quirked as though she were in on a private joke that Narcissa was not privy to. "Be careful what you wish for, lover."
Narcissa bit down on her lower lip as she watched her sister climb out of the bed to get what she needed. She didn't like how Bellatrix was acting— the longer this went on, the more Narcissa was unable to ignore the obvious; all her sister wanted was her in her bed, and she did not give a damn how she achieved it. It made Narcissa's insides twist as she felt so incredibly foolish for just going right along with whatever she wanted, but just because Bellatrix got her this far did not mean that she would win.
Because it was a game, wasn't it? Their entire goddamn relationship was just one big game that they both came out on the losing end of time after time, yet they weren't ever able to put it away. Bellatrix was strapping a phallus to her groin even though she hated her and Narcissa's fingers were sliding through her own folds despite wanting more for herself than this, yet after Bellatrix enchanted the dildo with a spell and came back over to her, neither woman voiced their truths as they came together in a mess of lips, teeth, and limbs.
"God," Narcissa breathed as Bellatrix's teeth latched onto her bottom lip, snapping it back into place before she positioned herself at her entrance. Narcissa was dripping already because apparently she would forever get off on making an absolute mess of her life, and when Bellatrix pushed the phallus inside of her both women's groans got lost in the back of one another's throats.
Narcissa's tongue slid into her sister's mouth as she grasped the back of her head, keeping the woman close to her as Bellatrix began to slowly roll her hips. "Bella," she softly pleaded against her lips, desperate to wrap her sister up in a feeling they both knew was bullshit. Bellatrix pushed into her a little more firmly then and Narcissa's mouth dropped open, her eyes closing as she rested her forehead against her sister's. "Bella, forgive me…"
"Forgiving you implies you made a mistake, Cissy," Bellatrix panted, the enchantment on the phallus making her flush a deep rose as the feeling of being inside of her sister shot straight through her core. She pressed her palm on Narcissa's chest then, forcing her back against the mattress as Bellatrix pinned her there, hovering over her. She looked so goddamn domineering that Narcissa's insides clenched, pulling Bellatrix in deeper. "This is just your fucking personality, and there's no overhauling that selfish mess."
"And yet you love it," Narcissa goaded breathlessly, her nipples tightening as her chest heaved in desire. "Because you like the drama, you want the pain; it makes you feel alive— ah, shit!" Narcissa hissed as Bellatrix had unexpectedly pulled the phallus out of her before driving it back inside a completely different hole. Thankfully Narcissa was wet enough that it provided ample lubricant, but it was so abrupt it left little time for Narcissa to adjust and she was left frozen and panting, trying to get herself used to a completely different sensation.
Bellatrix smirked, amused at her ability to render Narcissa temporarily speechless. "You were saying?"
Narcissa pursed her lips, allowing her hand to fall between her own thighs as she made a big showing of running her fingers through her folds and spreading herself for her sister's hungry gaze. "You're addicted to me," she accused breathlessly, despite knowing full-well that the same was true in reverse. "I give you the most incredible highs but the worst lows, and even when you think it couldn't get any worse than how you're feeling now, you keep coming back for more. I know you think you won some kind of game by getting me into your bed, but the miserable truth is that we both lost tonight."
Narcissa reached up with her other hand, gently dragging her fingers over the expanse of her lover's cheek as her heart weighed heavy in her chest. "I love you, Bella, but we are going to die doing this to each other, and I don't know how to stop it anymore."
"I never asked you to stop it," Bellatrix breathed before she turned her head, kissing Narcissa's palm. Her tongue snaked out then, wrapping around one of her fingers before taking it entirely in her mouth, causing Narcissa's breathing to shallow as she stared up at her own drug that she was unable to quit. "Let's just kill each other, Cissy; that was always how this was going to end anyway."
Narcissa's heart clenched in her chest at her sister's words, but Bellatrix did not give her a chance to respond. She leaned down then, capturing the blonde in another desperate kiss as she began to make quick work of rendering Narcissa into a whimpering, pathetic mess. Her fingers slipped inside of her while she continued to pound the phallus deep into her arse, the combined pleasure of both of her holes being violated making Narcissa cry out as she held onto the woman above her, fingernails pressing crescent shapes into Bellatrix's back.
"Fuck, fuck— Bella," Narcissa sobbed, feeling rather infinite despite knowing that it would soon come crashing down. It didn't matter though, not in that moment. All Narcissa could see was her sister, watching the pleasure play out across Bellatrix's expression as she fucked her, and Narcissa knew she had never seen anything quite as beautiful, yet equally as devastating. Bellatrix knew as well as she did that this fixed nothing, yet they both held onto the feeling as they came one after the other in rapid succession, clutching to one another as they rode out a high that they both knew would never overshadow their low.
Bellatrix pulled out of her then, unclasping the harness as she threw it to the floor. She collapsed onto her for a moment, but it was short-lived. Just as Narcissa tried to wrap her arms around her sister, wanting to live in this lie a little longer, Bellatrix pushed herself off the bed and started gathering up her clothes. Narcissa tried to not let it upset her, yet when she spoke her voice came out accusing regardless.
"Didn't you just make this big point that this was your room too?"
"Yeah, which meant I wanted to fuck you in it— not that I wanted to sleep next to you," Bellatrix told her shortly, rummaging through the pockets of her robes. While that cut her, Narcissa chose to focus on something other than that pain as her brow knit, not understanding what the hell Bellatrix was doing until she heard something jingle. She watched her sister pause, as though she was actually having second thoughts about her next move, and Narcissa's stomach dropped.
"No," she warned her, voice wavering as she realized what Bellatrix was about to do. She understood that sex didn't fix anything between them, but she didn't have to be this cruel. "Don't you dare."
But Bellatrix just met her gaze, steeled her jaw, and pulled out her money before slamming it on her sister's vanity. "For your time," she sneered, and Narcissa exhaled a furious scream before grabbing the closest thing to her, which fortunately for Bellatrix was nothing but a pillow, and chucked it at her head.
"Get out!" she shouted, surprised by how much that gutted her despite having expected it. Narcissa's eyes welled up with angry tears as her sister strode from the room without even bothering to look back, and the blonde pushed herself out of bed before quickly running to gather up the money in her hand.
"Arsehole!" she screamed at her sister's retreating form, throwing the handful of galleons into the hallway before slamming her bedroom door and locking it behind her. She lost control of her emotions then, dissolving into a mess of tears as she slid down the door, sitting on her haunches. Narcissa knew, she knew this wouldn't end any other way, and yet like an idiot she had hoped for something different.
Why did she keep doing this to herself?
It was a question Narcissa kept asking as she made her way downstairs the next morning, a handful of galleons in her fist that she of course had to pick up off the hallway floor, because it wasn't as though Bellatrix could ever clean up after herself. She strode into the kitchen where she found her sister opening the potions cabinet to grab her medicine and, well, thank God for small favors; at the very least, it seemed Bellatrix still had a desire to stay relatively sane, which had actually made her responsible enough to remember to take them every morning.
Narcissa slammed the money down on the counter without a word before practically shoving Bellatrix to the side to grab her own potion, and Bellatrix's lips quirked in amusement. "I don't want your money, Cissy."
"Fuck you."
"No, I mean, it's actually your money— my account is frozen, remember?" Bellatrix responded, causing Narcissa to practically slam the potions cabinet closed. Of course she stole money from her just to make a dramatic scene; why would she expect anything different? Narcissa said nothing though, swallowing her medication in one go while her sister did the same.
"Mummy, what's for breakfast?" Bellatrix goaded her in a child-like voice while she hopped up on the island counter, as though she even had a right to ask for anything right now. Narcissa scoffed as she side-eyed her, this burning fury swirling in the pit of her abdomen. She didn't want to let it out, she didn't want Bellatrix to know she was bothering her, but the angry retort left her lips regardless.
"Eat my arse, you soulless bitch."
"Ohh, we are not very friendly this morning, are we?" Bellatrix retorted, her tongue snaking out to wet her incisors as she looked down at her sister. "And if you're offering, Cissy, by all means, bend over. I suppose I could spare a few more galleons for you."
Narcissa did not give Bellatrix a chance for her brain to catch up with the situation until it was far too late. She violently shoved her sister off the counter with one fell-swoop, Bellatrix unable to get to her wand or to hold onto something before her back hit the floor with a loud thud. "Jesus— fuck, you… bloody cunt," Bellatrix wheezed, the impact having winded her as she took a moment to just lay there as she gathered her breath.
Narcissa put her foot on her sister's chest, looking down at her. "I could crush the life out of you right now," she reminded her, despite not actually putting any weight on Bellatrix because she, admittedly, could never do such a thing no matter how much it might free them both if she did. "Are you wet yet? I know it's what you want."
"I'm always wet for you, Cissy; that's the fucking problem."
Narcissa said nothing, her eyes darkened with anger as she stared down at the woman beneath her. Bellatrix smirked, running her hand down the length of her body as she continued to goad her. "Tell me, Cissy, does she fuck you like I do? Will she violate you in all the nasty little ways you see fit, or do you save that for me? I admit, I can't picture her strapping one on and doing you the arse."
"That's because I'm the one who wears the cock."
Bellatrix laughed before she saw the look on her sister's face and she responded, "—Wait, are you actually being serious? That's adorable."
"You might have had a leg to stand on there if I hadn't fucked you with a strap on before and reduced you to a whimpering, pathetic mess," Narcissa reminded her, unfazed by Bellatrix's attempt to belittle her. "Bella, what you need to realize is that I don't have multiple lovers because they all give me the same thing— You give me something that Cassandra does not, and she gives me something that you do not. Frankly, I am not willing to give either of those things up. Should I? Probably. Do I deserve either of them, either of you? Absolutely not. But will both of you continue to give me everything I want anyway? Without fucking question."
Bellatrix chuckled, the sound filled with bitter amusement. "Are we finally dropping the pretenses then? Well go off then, Princess; own your shitty personality."
"Isn't that what you wanted? You don't want me to change, you're content with me being a selfish cunt because you enjoy being broken. If that's what makes you wet, then far be it from me to deny you. I'll gladly fuck you up."
Narcissa moved her foot then to step on one of her sister's arms, pinning it to the ground before she lowered herself onto her body, spreading her legs as she used her right foot to trap Bellatrix's other arm. Her nightgown rode up, showing her sister that she had still not put on any underwear, and Bellatrix inhaled a sharp breath the sight.
"You are pathetic when it comes to me, Bella, and you love every second of it," Narcissa accused, reaching down as she spread herself for her. Bellatrix's breathing shallowed but she did not dispute the fact, because they both knew it would be pointless.
"In the middle of the kitchen, Cissy?" she goaded, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the apex of her sister's thighs. "What if your precious son comes home?"
"It's too early for him to even be awake yet," Narcissa reasoned as she allowed her fingers to slip over her clit before she pressed down softly, coaxing a soft moan from the back of her throat. "And you're going to let me do whatever I want, because out of the two of us, Bellatrix, you're the one who's too weak to say no. You reek of desperation."
Bellatrix chuckled throatily. "I think you're the one who's desperate, lover; trying to get me caught up so that you can keep me in your fucking web—"
"Maybe," Narcissa breathed, beginning to rub small circles against her aching center. "But it's working, so what do I care?"
Bellatrix looked as though she had a retort to that, but after Narcissa allowed her fingers to fall further south to gather up her wetness and spread it over her clit, Bellatrix's words died in the back of her throat as she watched her, transfixed. Her mouth was practically watering and Narcissa smirked victoriously as she continued to pleasure herself just inches from her sister's face. Bellatrix was pinned though, so even when she finally broke and tried to just bury her face between Narcissa's thighs she couldn't get close enough and she exhaled a frustrated breath, banging the back of her head against the tile.
"You bloody cunt tease."
"Come on, Bella, watch me. Don't pretend you're not loving every second of this, you submissive bitch," Narcissa provoked as her breathing began to labor, her nipples tightening as they began to become very noticeable through the thin fabric of her nightgown. "You can't leave me because I'll always give you everything you want— you want to feel powerful, I'll bend over for you, you want to experiment with being on the other end of things, I'll act like your mistress. I don't care how I fuck you, Bellatrix, but I will— and maybe that makes me just as pathetic as you, but what does it matter? We both get off on our own misery anyway."
"Jesus, just— shut up and sit on my face, you preachy bitch," Bellatrix gasped in irritation, but Narcissa's lips just curled up into another smirk as she ignored her, speeding up the pace of her fingers as she coaxed herself closer to an orgasm. "Cissy!"
"Fuck… fuck," Narcissa panted, her cheeks flushing as her abdomen began to tighten. Bellatrix looked infuriated that she was really going to finish without her, but oh, Narcissa planned to make it so much worse. That was why when she came she closed her eyes, a breathy, "Cass," falling from her lips that made Bellatrix scream in rage, her sudden fury allowing her to find enough strength in her to violently push Narcissa off of her body.
"You cunt!"
Narcissa laughed bitterly, breathlessly. She looked at her sister's infuriated expression as Bellatrix hoisted herself off the ground, feeling proud of herself despite how immature all of this was. "Don't you ever treat me like your whore again," Narcissa snapped, wanting Bellatrix to know that this was what she got for that grave insult. If she wanted to treat Narcissa like trash, then she would gladly return the favor. "Now are we done with these childish games? Because you were right, Bella— we both know how this ends."
"Oh, we're nowhere near done," Bellatrix snarled as Narcissa picked herself up off the floor, dusting herself off as she tried to make herself seem more put together than she felt. Honestly, she knew doing that would just end up starting some type of war with Bellatrix, but she didn't want to take the insult of being treated like a common prostitute lying down either. She had more self-respect than that, finally; only took twenty some odd years. "Don't you get it yet? This is what makes our relationship fun."
"Yeah, I'm having a fucking ball," Narcissa deadpanned as she stalked over to the counter, grabbing a muffin from the basket in the corner. She sat heavily in one of the stools, meticulously peeling the paper off the base of it.
"You are. That's why you're here with me, sinking your claws into my fucking body and my sanity instead of playing house with your little whore—"
"Girlfriend, actually," Narcissa corrected before she tore off a piece of muffin, popping it into her mouth.
Bellatrix scoffed. "What are you, twelve?"
"Well she's not my wife— I'm already bloody married, and I can't very well call her my soulmate either, can I?" Narcissa snapped, shooting a blameful look at her sister as though all of this was her fault. "Someone already has that fucking honor. Thank you, by the way, for being a shit one."
Despite how angry and resigned Narcissa sounded to that fact, Bellatrix chose to take it as a compliment anyway as she worked out what that meant for her. "…So I still win," she deduced, and Narcissa rolled her eyes as she popped another piece of muffin into her mouth.
"If you want to call this incessant desire to destroy one another 'winning', then sure," Narcissa responded bitterly. "We aren't soulmates because we're meant for happiness with one another, Bella; we're soulmates because we're the same goddamn person in two different bodies, and until one us dies, until the other one wins and gains control over the entirety of our shitty, shared soul, we're doomed to repeat this misery until the end of fucking time."
Bellatrix actually smiled at that as she leaned against the counter next to her. "That was almost romantic, Cissy," she responded wistfully, reaching forward to tuck an errant strand of hair behind her sister's ear. Narcissa sighed heavily.
"I know it was. I love that you're a part of me, and that I'm a part of you. But that's the problem. We romanticize the pain. We find beauty in the worst parts of each other, in ourselves," Narcissa breathed, staring down at the muffin in her hand as she picked at it absentmindedly. She felt her sister slide up behind her, pressing her breasts against the blonde's back as she wiped the hair from Narcissa's neck, replacing it with her lips.
"What's wrong with me seeing beauty in your darkness, Narcissa?" she asked softly, her breathy words eliciting goosebumps as they danced across the blonde's ear. "What's wrong with you seeing something desirable in mine? That's what love is supposed to be."
Narcissa closed her eyes, already so terribly exhausted by this. Still, she leaned against her sister's chest, her defeat causing her to weaken as she slumped against the one thing that had always been steadfast in her life. "Bella, please. I can't deal with any more emotional whiplash today. You win, alright? Take my metaphorical white flag; I need a break."
"This is me giving you a break, Cissy," Bellatrix breathed, wrapping her arms around her sister's middle as her lips gently found her jaw, her cheek. "You made me love you again for a second— take advantage of it before I get pissed off again."
"You know, it really says something about our relationship that I don't trust that you're being genuine right now."
"Well I am," Bellatrix told her, tightening her hold on her sister as she leaned her chin against the blonde's shoulder. "You said I was your soulmate— no matter how angry I am with you, that still bloody means something to me."
"I mean, I said that we share one 'shitty' soul and that we were going to destroy each other for control over it. That's hardly romantic."
"It is," Bellatrix breathed, although she at least sounded a little resigned by it. "For us, Cissy… it is. I wouldn't want to be destroyed by anyone else."
Narcissa smiled sadly, reaching up to hook her hand around one of her sister's forearms that had embraced her. "I know," she whispered, wishing that she didn't find it as disastrously romantic as Bellatrix did. This was their problem, yet they chose to drown in it regardless, because neither of them knew any different. "I know, my love. I know."
Bellatrix kissed her cheek and Narcissa briefly closed her eyes, tightening her hold on her sister as she allowed herself to get caught up in the feeling of being loved by her soulmate again, even if it was for one short moment. "Stay here with me?" Narcissa requested softly as she opened them again, turning her head to look up at the woman behind her. "Hold me… just for a little while?"
"Whatever you want," Bellatrix breathed, her words dusking over the curvature of her sister's jaw before she placed another gentle kiss against her skin. "I love you, Narcissa. Even though it's shit, even though you hurt me, I still love you more than anything else in this fucking world."
And that, in the end, was why they continued to trap themselves in this madness. Narcissa turned her head, kissing her sister's arm before she leaned her head against her and closed her eyes, resigned to the fact that nothing was ever going to change, because neither of them really wanted it to.
"I love you too, Bella."
TBC…