Chapter Twenty Five: Bad at Goodbye

"I'm sorry," Alice rubs my back in small circles, tears rolling down her cheeks.

It looks like slow motion. As they curve around the cheeks, droplets forming at her chin. I'd love to comfort her - this is her brother after all. But I can't find the words or move my arms to wrap around her. It would mean letting go of his hand. I just won't do that.

"What if there was hope and we just pulled the plug," I say staring at his beautiful face

"The doctors told me that there's been no improvement to make them believe there is hope," she says, "my Father is intense and he loves us all. It's just a weird way of showing it. With Edward there's an extra level of passion because he followed in his footsteps. Emmett and I were always in Mum's shadow but Edward followed Dad. He begged him to bring him to the hospital and to tell him all about being a doctor. I think since he met you Dad is finally seeing him as a man and not a boy. Perhaps he's struggling to accept that."

"It feels as if he wants him to die," I look at Edwards still face.

"Of course he doesn't. He just can't switch off the doctor. I broke my arm once and when I arrived he gave me a two hour lecture," Alice sighs.

Before I can respond the rest of her family enter the room. Time to die. Shivers race up my spine and I squeeze his hand harder. It's time to open your eyes, Edward baby.

"Ready?" Esme asks me.

"Is that a trick question," I mutter.

"Bella," Alice wraps an arm around me.

"I just truly believe he is in there," I say.

My voice turns desperate. I'm terrified. I have no clue how else to stall them.

"If he were they'd see some form of improvement, Bella," Carlisle says gently.

"Just turn off the doctor. He turned it off and he fell in love. Senseless but sturdy love with me. He's my heart and I am scared about what this earth will look like without him. If you tried to turn it off too you might actually become a good father," I don't even realise I'm yelling, "this is my man and you're trying to take him. So forgive me for trying to stop you."

Emmett wraps his arms around me, they're big and strong. But they're struggling to hold me up and together. Not even this hulk of a man can keep me up.

"It's okay," Emmett whispers.

"It's not," I cry pulling my chair close to Edward's side taking his hand, "don't do this please. It's not too late to change your mind."

"We've spoken to our doctors and considered this for hours on end. This is our son just as much as your boyfriend," Carlisle is trying to speak calmly to me, but I can see he wants to yell too.

"There's no one else. How do I begin tomorrow knowing the best part of today isn't with me," I raise his hand to my quivering lips, "don't."

"Calm down. We're doing this," Esme whispers broken, "he is in pain here like this. Without medication he is being pumped with he is hurting. There was too much damage."

"If you can't calm down we'll have to ask you to go outside. This is hard for us too," Carlisle says as the doctor walks into the room.

The doctor looks at Edward sadly. Perhaps this is a friend of his.

"Doctor Cullen, this will be quick and painless," the doctor walks closer to the machine keeping Edward alive.

I lean down and kiss his face sobbing. I want to wake up from this nightmare, to have his arms around me. I don't even get a proper goodbye. No more crooked grins, laughter, kisses. I'll miss them all so much. I'll miss him. How could I find anything that could compare?

"Please," I whisper.

As the doctor reaches for the switch the Cullens let out their own form of grief. Alice bursts into tears, cuddling into Emmett's chest. Slow tears stream down Emmett's face. Esme sobs. Carlisle holds his wife, silently crying too, hand covering his mouth.

I beg.

"Please baby. Please wake up for me," I kiss his temple, his nose, cheeks, mouth.

"Okay," the doctor sighs.

"Wait," I scream.

At first I think I imagined it. But I most definitely felt a pinch at my hand.

"Bella please," Alice whispers.

"He just squeezed my hand," I don't look at them all, my focus completely on Edward's face.

The Cullen's watch in shock.

"Baby, do it again. Please," I say, "please one more."

He stays still.

"I swear it," I say.

The doctor steps toward the bed, as he does Edward's fingers shift slightly again. I gasp reaching up to take his face in my hands.

"It could be a simple reflex," the doctor suggests.

"Open your eyes," I demand with a desperate whisper.

On cue his lashes flutter against his cheeks. Then all of a sudden he opens his eyes, blinking.

Esme gasps rushing forward to his other side taking his hand.

"Oh my god," Alice begins to cry again.

"You did it," I smile wildly, "I knew you could."

I lean forward pressing my head against his chest with more relief my body can handle. When his hand shakily reaches up into my hair I burst out into a catonic cry.

He begins to croak out words, but Carlisle rushes forward holding water for him. Through my tears I watch the panicked father hold it to his son's mouth, quiet relief also covering his face.

"Son, drink this your mouth would be dry," Carlisle says.

I lean up and shift so I can be closer to his face, one hand in his the other stroking his forehead. I'm so happy to see those green eyes. The ones I thought I'd never see again.

Edward accepts his father's help before turning to look directly into my eyes.

"Bella," he smiles tired.

"I'm here," I stroke his hair.

"Only you," his hand squeezes mine.

After the doctors checked him over they put it down to me. Talking to him while he was in a coma made him want to fight. Turns out this morning he had improved since the doctor's rounds. Fraction by fraction, he had been improving.

He watches me as I fiddle with the packaging of chocolates my father had sent for him.

"I'm not hungry," he croaks.

"Who said I was opening it for you?" I smirk.

He snorts a quiet, amused laugh watching me with admiration. The look I'd treasure forever after nearly seeing it go for good.

"I'm sorry," he whispers out carefully.

Talking was difficult for him still and while he could move his hands around, everything was still taking time.

I look at him carefully. I'm still trying not to cry every time he spoke or smiled at me.

"Don't be," I put down the chocolates and pull my chair closer, "I'm just so happy you're okay."

"I made you think I was leaving you," he takes my hand.

"You did," I nod, "I was terrified."

"I will never leave you," he says.

My heart stops slightly and I lean forward, cupping his face so I can hold it still while I kiss him. The feeling of his lips on mine again is incredible. I'd missed the sensation, the tingle.

"Marry me," he whispers against my lips.

"What?" My eyes widen.

"You are the only one who didn't give up on me. There's no one else out there for me. That's the person I need to spend forever with. After almost losing it I can't waste another second. You're it," he says, "so be mine forever."

"You're high on meds. We can talk about this later," I rub his hand and sit back in my chair, heart beating wild.

"No. I'm not high on anything," he chuckles, "remember I'm a Doctor. I know exactly what they'd administered. Don't make me laugh too."

"Sorry. So you mean it?" I am in shock.

Perhaps this is all part of the dream?

"More than anything I've ever said. Marry me, Bella," he pleads, "I don't have a ring, but the second I leave this hospital I will be buying one. I might even send my sister out for a favour."

Unable to speak I just nod, the happiest tears I've had in two weeks begin to spill from my eyes. Leaning forward I kiss him gently.

"If I could I'd spin you around this room I would," he smiles.

"I love you," I smile as he wipes away the tears on my cheek, "so much."

"I love you too, Bella. Thank you for believing in me and fighting for me when everyone else backed down. I don't blame them, they were doing the logical thing. I recommend it to my own patients. But the difference here was you," he cups my face in his shaking hand, "Bella Cullen."

I laugh and lean down to kiss him.

"Bella," Alice bursts into the room tired, stressed.

What now?

"It's Rose," she breathes out, "she's in labour."

"She is only 30 weeks pregnant," I stand in shock.

"She's asking for you," Alice says, "I'll stay with Edward. You need to go because she's going into surgery."

"Go," Edward squeezes my hand, "she is in good hands. She'll be fine."

With one final kiss I was rushing to the other end of the hospital to now place my hope and faith into the other important person in my life.

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