First thanks so much for all the reviews! That has been super motivating and I needed those. With everything happening in the world it's hard to be inspired but your reviews and the new favs/follows have so helped. Rhi, mariadudalima, swthrt890, I'dRatherBeMeThanBeWithYou, Queenkat1399, judithneary, nannygirl and all guests, happy to hear you've jumped into (or hoping you are still for) the Jackie/Peter ship! I'm so getting into this now that I'm writing their story and I will follow through to the end, promise. Also, if anyone has a good name to call them I would be into naming this ship. Jackie/Hyde are the Zennies, the princess and the burnout, puddin' pop and his doll, so many good names for a great couple that sadly didn't get a fair end in the show. But now I want a cool name for this other ship too, go team Peter! Anyway, thanks so much for the feedback and here goes the new chapter. Please continue to review, I may be slow, but I will continue this. :-)

Paint it Black

Peter and Jackie spend the next day by the pool swimming and joking. Later they eat and drink at a small bar. "I feel like dancing!" she exclaims, then stands, claps her hands in excitement, and heads to the jukebox. He smiles at her exuberance and watches her walk back.

"Come on!"

"You picked this song?" he asks, as Rock And Roll All Nite plays.

"No, but I wanna be dancing when my song starts."

"So you're ambushing me."

"Yes sir," she says and salutes.

He smiles and they dance until Dancing Queen comes on. "Jackie, no."

"Pretty please," she says with a pout.

He shakes his head but takes her hand and keeps on dancing as she gives him a goofy drunk grin. When the song is over, they stay by the jukebox and dance to the next one and the next one and then the next, taking breaks to drink and snack. After a couple of hours, they hear trumpets, followed by tunes of love. They dance slowly.

"Do you believe them?"

"The Beatles?"

"Yeah… 'it's easy, all you need is love'. But, they still cheated. George on Patty, John on Yoko and all the other rumors... am I dumb for thinking loyalty should be part of love?"

"You are not dumb, Jackie."

"Old-fashioned?"

"Maybe, but that's not necessarily a bad thing... I think that if two people agree on an open relationship then all bets are off and it's all cool. But if that's not part of the deal then loyalty is expected with love. We also don't know the whole story for any of the Beatles, just what's on the tabloids."

"Yeah. And Yoko forgave John and they seem like they're happy." She lets out a sarcastic laugh. He looks at her inquisitively. "When I forgave Steven for the nurse I thought it would be like that. That I was his Yoko, like Eric accused me of, and once I forgave him we'd live happily ever after." She shakes her head. "Dumbass. I had my head in the clouds and stupid teen magazines. No wonder Steven didn't want me."

"But he did. Yesterday, he tried to stop a wedding and looked like a lost puppy because he wanted you so badly." She sighs and lays her head on his chest. "And he's the dumbass," Peter argues and squeezes her into him.

Love is all you need. Love is all you need. Love is all you need.

They manage to make it to their room in fits of giggles and fall sleep after talking for what feels like hours, wearing the same clothes. Jakie wakes up in his arms after only a couple of hours and closes her eyes again. She'll think about this in the morning or maybe she won't, but for now it's nice.

They return to his apartment the next morning and ease into the routine of Peter on the couch and Jackie and Maddy in his room. They do that for another couple of nights until everything is ready in Burkhart mansion.

"Your parents' bed is ridiculous," he says.

She smiles and nods. "When I was little I used to love it. I would jump and throw myself all over. It was so big and even if mom and dad weren't home I thought I was protected from anything as long as I was in their room. Then one day, I fell off. I was jumping so high and somehow reached the end and flew right into that wall," she says pointing towards the end of the room. "The maid we had back then heard and put ice on my arm and head. I think that was when I started to realize I wasn't supposed to be alone so much and begun to hate this house." He looks at her, waiting for anything else she has to say but she remains quiet.

"Not anymore." She looks at him inquisitively and he takes her hands in his. "Jackie, you have Maddy. You have me. You're not alone." She stares, eyes filled with a mix of sadness, hope, and trust. "Now don't worry I'll deal with having the big bad bed." She laughs as they walk away and into her childhood bedroom. The baby is sleeping peacefully.

"Wanna chicken sandwich?" she asks, as they stand in the hallway.

"You made chicken sandwiches?"

"Leah made some and put them in a cooler for our move day."

"Big cousin sandwiches sound good," he says turning towards the stairs.

"Not yet," she states. He looks at her confused. "We just finished. You're smelly and I'm all glistening. We need a shower."

"Tempting me with a shower that goes completely against the platonic thing we agreed upon, nutty."

"I didn't mean-"

"I'll have to think about it for a minute. It sounds pretty hot." She sees him laughing.

"Pig!"

"Smelly and a pig, you hurtful woman."

She sticks her tongue out at him and walks into her new room, the largest guestroom. She shakes her head and gets ready for her shower. Later, they share a quiet sandwich and soda dinner and watch TV until Maddy wakes up and demands their full attention. The next few days are quiet and… domestic. They go to work and joke with Leah, Zilla and the old man. They have a visit from the social worker on Maddy's case and set wedding pictures everywhere, act the loving couple part and get a seal of approval on keeping the little one for a minimum of six months and maybe more pending review of the case. They go out on a special celebration dinner after that. They take care of Maddy, watch TV, and go their separate ways. He talks to his brother and the old man, trying to rebuild their bonds, and also hangs out with the band, like old times. She visits the basement and Mrs. Forman asks her to officially join the LOPPs and help her with the Christmas party. She is in a way thrilled and in another terrified. She tells him about her last Christmas and the LOPPs party disaster with the toys and being a SLOPP and he remembers everything she had to face after.

"It'll remind me of last year and him saying life with me is crap and the breakup and losing the baby. How do I keep my usual holiday cheer?" She looks at him with hopeful eyes, it's like she thinks he has all the answers when really, he doesn't.

"Tiny I… look, the holidays are not really my thing."

"But you're like nice! And nice people love Christmas!"

He smiles. "Do we?" She stares at him dumbfounded. "I guess I did when I was a kid."

"And?"

"And then my parents died." She looks like she wants to kick herself. "It's okay. It was a long time ago. More than a decade... but Christmas just brings back memories."

"Bad memories?"

"Sort of…" She looks at him expectantly. "Mom making pies and telling us to be good at Aunt Karen's... dad playing carols on his guitar to get her to sing… him and Russ bringing in what seemed like a giant tree but probably wasn't… Russ having a girl over for a movie, the last day of school and mom asking dad to remind Russ about what they discussed during the talk."

"That doesn't sound bad."

"It wasn't, not at all. But after they died everyone looked at us with pity and it pissed Russ off so much he barely managed to be congenial around Christmas. Uncle Henry really tried. He moved out of an apartment above the bar, got a house for us, and would even give Russ money to get a tree every year. Aunt Karen kept her yearly party and Leah started to get into cooking when she was fourteen and made pies that were as good as our mom's. Then Russ got drafted and Leah got pregnant at sixteen and the father was a rich pretty-boy asshole and just wanted his parents to throw money at the issue. My aunt was devastated which meant she turned into a royal bitch. Henry was worried sick and following the war like it was all that mattered. Everything went to shit. I helped out as much as I could, with work and trying to get Leah to smile again. I wrote to Russ all the time and always put on a happy face for Christmas especially for Felix. And I had Monica so in a way I was actually happy. We would spend time at uncle's house, the bar, her mom and step dad's house, my aunt's, babysitting Felix. Sneaking around to make out or have sex in between family dinners and dates. I'd play guitar like my dad and she would sing and then I started the band and writing music. She probably still has that angel voice that made me a sucker since childhood. I suppose Lucifer was an angel once upon a time too. But honestly, back then, it was so good to be with her." She's focused on his words and he appreciates the rapt attention.

"Last year I didn't make it home. I was in Georgia and could have probably managed a couple of days off if I bugged my commander. But I thought, why spend so much effort and money on travel during the busiest season of the year for only a couple of days when I could wait a bit, work on my rank, and save to have more time off and money for the next year?" He lets out a cynical laugh. "Little did I know. I called every day that I got phone privileges on base. But she was so mad and drunk half the time I got to talk to her. That's around the time Maddy was conceived."

"I'm -" He gives her a meaningful look and she remembers their deal. They never say sorry for each other. "You didn't deserve that."

"You've said so before. But I wonder what would have happened if I had just come home."

"Don't, what happened just happened. And I say you didn't deserve that because it's true."

"I guess. We did get Maddy out of all that mess. You know you didn't deserve what happened to you last Christmas either."

"You're right." She sighs. "I just want to have a good Christmas. It's Maddy's first so we should make it the best we can."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, let's do it. Your party will be the best. You can dress Madds like a princess. And I bet Leah would love to help with a party and I'll be there making sure you keep your holiday cheer and brag about how you can't be put in the SLOPPs table."

"Really?" He nods. "You think Leah would cater? That would be so fancy!"

"Yeah."

Everything seemed to click into place after that. She was excited and able to focus on the good. He smiled at her plans and promised to help frost cookies and even went to the mall with her to help her pick Maddy's many Holiday outfits, purple dress for the LOPPs party, red dress for Christmas and baby pink for New Year's. She might have picked some outfits with matching colors for herself and a tie and shirt for him to wear to match her and Maddy for Aunt Karen's dinner. Then it happened.

December 20, 1979. Abbot's Bar and Grill. 4 pm.

It's a regular day at work. He's been serving food and drinks with Jackie for a couple of hours and they split the tips. It's slow, but even on a slow day she's one of the best teammates and maybe someday more? He watches her refuse Mr. Johanson a scotch and give him a beer with a smile and a "you need to head home to your wife and kids with some sobriety so you can get ready for Christmas." She then proceeds to explain in detail just how drinking more wouldn't get his job back and only wastes his money and disappoints his kids. The older man relents after a couple of more beers and the meal Jackie makes him buy to sober up. Peter smiles. Leave it to Tiny to guilt a grown man into leaving a bar and still getting his patronage and a promise that he'd come back for lunchtime with his wife and kids.

"We need more of these mixes and booze for this weekend and Leah gave me this list of ingredients," his uncle says, handing him the two lists. Jackie peaks and sees it's the first of the big orders she put in last week.

"You need all of this for the weekend before Christmas?" Jackie asks.

Henry smirks, "All sorts of people need their eggnog for the Holidays."

"Will it get like Octoberfest?"

"Not that busy. But we have four parties scheduled in the event room this weekend. Good revenue. And get ready, New Year's will be even busier than Octoberfest. This place is finally back to normal. You placed that second order like I asked you?"

"Yes."

He turns to his nephew. "Go to the warehouse and get things ready?"

"Sure thing," he answers.

"Sweetheart, you got receipts for the boy's pickup?"

"They're up in the apartment. Left them by the desk yesterday when I worked on the binders while Maddy napped."

"Got it," Peter says and he takes his keys and makes the familiar trek to the back of the stage and upstairs. He enters his old apartment but never gets to the desk or the receipts. He stays still, stunned for a couple of seconds, as he watches his shirtless brother kissing Fez passionately while the other shirtless boy moans under him on the couch. He must have made a noise because they turn and look at him.

"Peter!"

"Ai no!"

"It's… look I know we shouldn't be doing this here. I -"

"You're gay?" His face goes from confused and lost to hurt. "But the women… Monica…" Russ looks at his brother with regret as Fez fixes his shirt and looks panicked. Peter's expression transforms from pained to an angry scowl. "Are you fucking gay!"

"Yes."

Then there is only rage. All the hurt of the past year, all the dedication to helping his brother, all the bullshit he's dealt with but more than anything…. Monica. He slept with his girl and didn't even really want her. He ruined my life for nothing! He barely registers when his fist hits his brother square in the jaw. Fez's scream asking him to stop and the feeling of this boy trying to pull him off Russ barely register. It's almost like he's watching himself push Fez into the desk hard enough to break the damn thing. He couldn't control himself, something inside had snapped and the second Fez laid on the broken desk panting he got back to his backstabbing brother. He threw all of his weight behind his right fist and knocked him down onto the floor. Then he hit him with his left fist, then the right again, left, right, again and again and again. In the background he hears a commotion and then strong arms are pulling him off.

"Enough!" his uncle's voice rang in his head.

"Oh my god!" he hears a fearful Jackie say. Behind her Leah has a horrified look as she holds Maddy who is bawling. And suddenly the fog of rage clears and he realizes it's Zilla that pulled him off and is keeping him in check along with his uncle. Russ asks them to keep Maddy away when he's like this. Leah gives the baby to Jackie and begins to check on her cousin, who is on the floor with Fez holding his head and blood all over them.

I did that… I could… I did that. Peter tries to break from Zilla's hold. "Easy man."

"Let me go."

"It's for your own good."

"I won't hurt anyone. Let me be." Something must have made Zilla realize he meant it. He feels his best friend release him and then runs for the door.

The old man takes charge and tells Jackie, Leah, and Zilla to take care of the bar and Maddy while he and Fez take Russ to the hospital.

"What about Peter?" Jackie asks.

"I don't know." Henry sighs and looks like he just aged ten years. "This… has been a long time coming. The boy… I'll talk to him and… he'll be okay."

"He... won't," Russ whispers.

"I told you not to talk anymore, your lip… your whole face is a mess," Leah admonishes.

"You have to find Petey," he murmurs. "I fucked him up."

"Think this time it finally was the other way around," Zilla says, pointing at Russ' face. "I can find him."

"We need security, especially right now. Everyone downstairs is whispering and freaking out. Someone needs to watch Maddy, man the door and the bar area, and keep everyone in check. I can only do one or two of those at once," Leah argues.

"I'll find him while you guys keep things here going. He'd never hurt me or Maddy," Jackie adds.

"Alright sweetheart, go. Now come on," he orders, getting Russell to stand, lean on him, and walk downstairs.

"I'm sorry, uncle," she hears as she walks with the baby behind them.

"You always are."

She drives around the Marina for a while, but no sign of him. Then she heads to the house and he's not there. She sits in the living room for a few minutes with no idea of where to go next. Maddy fuzzes so Jackie gets busy giving her a bottle, which she doesn't want and then changing her diaper whichever was the right call. They go to her childhood bedroom and she puts the little one in her crib for a bit. She walks into her parents' old room and starts rummaging through Peter's things. She smiles as she looks at the wedding picture on the dresser in his room. They put it there the day before the inspection, but she didn't realize it stayed there. Then she sees the picture of him and Russ with their parents in the woods. She gets a bag together for Maddy, heats up the Lincoln again, and straps the sleepy baby in. It takes about forty minutes to get there but she sees the jeep and hears the Stones in the spot in the woods where they had burned his Monica crap.

He turns as he sees the headlights, then hangs his head down and stays seated on the hood. "Go home, Jackie."

"Turn off the angry music and get in the car." She stares at him with pleading eyes as she approaches him, keeping an eye on the baby in the car.

"This album is a classic. Paint it black was a huge hit."

"You say potato, I say angry music." She reaches him, takes the beer from his good hand and dumps it. "Your hands are cold." She takes his chin and makes him look up. His eyes look red and he seems miserable. "Your lips are purple. Sunshine, please it's the middle of winter in Wisconsin. We can get the jeep tomorrow." He gets off the hood, opens his car, turns it off, and locks it before following Jackie.

Maddy is awake now and looks up at him with sweet eyes. "I'm sorry," Jackie hears.

"She's okay."

"She shouldn't have seen that."

"She shouldn't have seen her dad overdose or cried for hours until someone called the cops or lived in an orphanage."

"Doesn't make today right."

"You're right. It doesn't."

They head home in silence. Normally Jackie would start pushing things, but… he's always been so open with her… this quiet might be something he needs. After a while, she can't take the stillness. "It's about her time to eat. You should climb in the back and feed her while I drive."

He does as told. She peeks on the rearview mirror as he gently gives the baby her bottle. When they stop he burps her, brings her inside, and starts to put her to sleep. Jackie stops him by touching his cheek. "You're still freezing." He shrugs and she looks into his eyes. "Let me put her to bed and go take a hot shower."

He sighs, gives her the baby and heads to the bathroom. Once Maddy is set in her crib, Jackie walks into his room. She opens his drawers, lays underwear, a pair of flannel pants, and a white T-shirt on the bed. She knocks on the bathroom door. "Sunshine, are you almost done?" No answer. "I left some clothes for you on the bed. Come down when you're ready. I'm ordering pizza."

He comes down after the doorbell rings. They eat and he doesn't utter a word. She fills the space between them with chatter.

"Leah and I agreed on the sandwiches and hors d'oeuvres for the LOPPS party. She's making some of Michael's favorites since he's coming for a week with Brooke and Betsy."

"I got Mrs. Forman to agree that we should put little twinkle lights around the stage."

"Aunt Karen told me we should be ready for Maddy to start teething in a couple of months. She said it's painful and babies cry a lot when it happens and we better not think we can bother her with those issues. I talked to Mrs. Forman and she said some rum on the gums helps and she'd love to assist."

"Zilla and Laurie are really something. Caught them going at it in the storage room two days ago. Have you talked to him about it?"

He never replies. Right when they're ready to be done with the pizza she says with a poker face. "I'm thinking of going to the LOPPs party topless. You think Pastor Dave would be cool with that?"

He almost spits the soda out of his mouth. "Tiny!" he admonishes, but can't help the small smirk on his face.

"No? Maybe à la Lady Godiva? But this body nude... it would cause a riot!" He can't help the laughter that comes out. Then she starts laughing too. "Could you imagine Pastor's Dave face?"

"I was thinking of Red's."

"Sunshine!"

"You started it." They giggle for a bit longer and then he looks at her. "Thanks, tiny."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I don't even know what to say."

"Whatever's on your mind."

"A big part of me feels so… ashamed. I could have killed Russell."

"Don't exaggerate."

"I'm not! Jackie, I'm a soldier in the U.S. Army. I've been trained to fight, shoot, survive, think, strategize and I may not be Zilla, but I am strong. I'm supposed to use those skills for good and to protect others and fight for my country. Not to beat the shit out of my own brother. Russ, or anyone for that matter, could report my behavior and I'd be out of the military. And I would one hundred percent deserve it. What does doing what I did say about me?"

She takes his bruised hand and looks at him. "It says that you're just a guy and you lost it. I can't imagine what it's like to find out your brother is gay the way you did."

"This has nothing to do with him being gay. Honest. If kissing Fez makes him happy that's fine, more power to him for finding love, but I don't think that's what this is. This is probably the new kick that will only get him to hurt even more people. But why now? Why did he sleep with so many women before? Did he even want any of them? Why..." He looks so upset.

"Why your girlfriend?" Jackie finishes for him. He nods and looks completely lost, sad, angry... devastated. "I wish I knew the answer to that."

"It's not for you to answer… it's him!" He stands up and starts pacing. "What more am I supposed to do for what's left of my family! You know... he helped me so much when mom and dad died. He was practically raising me until he got sent to 'Nam. I know I didn't really support him back then, but I was only eleven! I was confused and scared and for two years clung to the big brother that was six years older and seemed invincible. He used to love me and took care of me. And I tried to pay it forward when he came back! I did everything I thought was right! Paid the fines and rehab, worked like an ox first at the Marina, then at the bar, sometimes for free, to make up for all the money and booze he stole for years! I would talk to him and tell him I believed in him and that he'd get better. I defended his insane actions and sleeping around from people that called him a drunk loser and even from uncle Henry when he grew tired of his crap and refused to pay to get him out of jail. I gave up on my dreams and my music for him! And who do you think is using his military pay to pay for the bills from his overdose? Me! Who stayed in the hospital every possible second until he woke up, even when uncle Henry took breaks to rest? Me! I've been to court to testify for him and paid his bail and court fees more times than I care to count. I got married and took over fathering HIS daughter! I forgave him everything! Stealing and pawning my things, trashing my place, making me work more and more to help him. I've even been working with our therapist on forgiving him for Monica. But now? He had a baby from drunk fucking MY girlfriend but he's actually into men! What the hell! What was I supposed to do when I found that shit out?"

"Hit a breaking point, which you did. It happens to the best of us." He looks at her while shaking his head no. "Peter, I'm not saying what you did was good or right, but something had to give."

"I scared you and Maddy."

"Yes and no. I was scared to see you that angry and out of control. But I was not scared of you." She gets him to sit next to her on the couch. "I know you. You're my best friend and you have a good heart."

"Jackie."

"Don't. If you didn't have a good heart, you would have left Russ to fend for himself a long time ago. And I know a thing or two about losing it." He just looks at her. "I might not have hit Donna with fists but I almost destroyed her. You didn't see how she was. I supposed you can imagine since it got Eric to come back from Africa and those morons to come ask for my help. The point is... I get losing it and lashing out. But I'm a tiny girl and I couldn't use fists against a giant lumberjack, so instead, I used words that were like poison."

"Do you regret it? Because I really wish I wouldn't have beat Russ, even if a big part of me thinks he had it coming." She nods.

They continue talking and trying to make sense of their lives, especially his current feelings of mixed anger, guilt, and uncertainty. He asks her to call Leah and his uncle to check if Russ is okay. The old man makes her put his nephew on the phone and they talk for a while. Peter says he's sorry, asks Henry to list all of Russ' injuries in detail, and promises to take care of all the bills. His uncle tells him to take the next day off to frost cookies and work on Jackie's party and get himself together and that everything will somehow be okay. After, Jackie and Peter keep talking and agree that he should see Dr. Falco soon and maybe still work on forgiving his brother. They doze off on the couch and wake up hours later wrapped up on each other when they hear Maddy crying.

So what do you think? I hated having to write a violent chapter because I'm not into that at all, but sometimes it happens. I'm hoping Peter's guilt and mixed feelings helped with his character development and past as well as the complicated relationship with his brother. Also, I put this in the story because I think sometimes it's better to deal with anger than to keep things bottled up and maintain a passive-aggressive relationship. From experience, those always end up with a blow-up or distance in the end. Anyway, the next chapter is in the works.