I've never actually done this with anyone else before. Kaere looked over at her friend and flushed pink when their eyes briefly met. Turning her gaze back to the shelves in front of her, the girl felt her heart rate increase. I usually get my snacks alone so…I feel kind of self-conscious.
"This is…really all you want?" Twice kept his eyes on her, rubbing the back of his neck. "If you wanna do something else, it's okay."
"This…this is fun for me," she protested. Kaere knew her own limitations when it came to crowded places and she worried about Twice. Which is why she said she wanted to just get some snacks and then go back to his room. I just want to make sure that he doesn't feel like he's splitting apart. I want him to be happy.
He watched her move closer to the shelf and noticed how her eyes were locked on a particular bag on the top shelf. It was cute, but he was hesitant to say anything. Too worried about saying the wrong thing.
Sweet and spicy chocolates. If I could just…Kaere reached up to try to grab the bag, but her fingertips barely skimmed over the plastic. "Ngh…just…" Her face went from pink to bright red as she felt him against her back.
His fingers closed on the plastic bag of chocolates and dragged them down, but he hesitated to move back again. An arm slid around her waist, pulling her closer against him. "It was this one, right?" he muttered next to her ear.
"Yeah. Um…th-thank you." She moved to take the bag, but when her fingers brushed against his, she felt a fluttery explosion in her stomach.
"Sorry." Twice stepped back, turning away from. "I didn't mean…I mean I did mean to. I'm sorry. I'm just so excited to be on a date! No! That isn't-! It's not a date! Right?! It's gotta be! We started the day making out so why not just-?" His hand covered his mouth before he could finish that sentence and slouched.
He's not doing well. I need to just hurry up and finish getting everything. Kaere grabbed her shopping basket with one hand. Her other hand gently took his and she enjoyed the warmth of his hand. Just hurry. Just have to hurry…
It was getting worse. He raked his fingers through his hair as they left the store, unable to look up from staring at the ground. Clenching his jaw tightly and gripping her hand with more force than before. So hard that she could feel his pulse in his fingers; fast and erratic.
By the time they reached his place, he was arguing with himself under his breath. Twice drifted from being angry at himself for being this way to debating whether he should actually be alone with her to small bursts of excitement over their "date". His hands were shaking when he unlocked the door and his breathing hitched when Kaere abruptly wrapped her arms around him from behind. "K-Kae...?"
"It's okay…if you need your mask. It's alright. Um. We're here now so no one will bother you if you put it on, okay? I just…want you to feel comfortable." She heard him push the door open and his hand grabbed hers. Kaere let him lead her into the room, the door kicked closed behind him, and when she saw his expression, she felt a tightening in her chest.
Drops of sweat glistened at his hairline and he was gritting his teeth, hard. His brow furrowed, scar looking even deeper. Twice released her hand suddenly and gripped his head with both hands. Going to the bed and curling up in a ball sitting up. Eyes clenched shut as he tried to calm himself down.
His mask. Where's his mask? Kaere's eyes darted around his room and soon landed on the pale gray and black fabric. It was sitting on the little table next to the bed. Within his reach. Still, he stayed sitting on the bed and trying to push himself to not put it on.
She cautiously approached the bed and set down her bags. Her cold, delicate fingers closed on the fabric of his mask and she moved onto the bed. Kneeling in front of him, she held his mask in both hands and leaned toward him. "Twice. Your mask…I have it right here. Please. If you feel like you're going to split…I want you to put it on. I want you to feel better."
One eye half-opened and then widened. His arms were flung around her, pulling her against his chest. Kaere was now between his legs with her face pressed into the crook of his neck. "No," he mumbled stubbornly.
"You need to put it on. Please. I just want you…I want you to be okay." She struggled to try to lift his mask over his head, but he tore it from her grip and threw it onto the floor. Kaere stared down at the discarded mask and felt her throat tightening. "But…you…you need it."
"I'm gonna calm down. I'm…gonna feel stable. I just…need you right now. Please." Twice tensed when he felt her fingers run through his hair and then gradually relaxed. He lowered his arms until they were loosely wrapped around her waist. "You deserve better than this. No way! We're soulmates! I knew it from the first time I…no! Stop it! Not…again. Not right now! I'm ruining the moment!"
"It's…it's okay!" she assured him. Kaere let her cool fingertips trail over his scalp a few more times before sliding down to caress his cheek the way Compress often caressed hers. She managed to lean back and watched as his facial muscles began to relax again. "Twice. Just…let it all out. I won't let you split apart, okay? I promise. I'll keep you together."
His eyes held a wet sheen as he looked down at her. "Let's…have fun, okay? I said I was gonna give you a good day. I'm not gonna let anything ruin today! Not even me!" His jaw clenched and he pulled her closer against him again. "I wish I wasn't like this. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you come with me. Compress…could've given you a better day."
"Don't compare yourself with someone else." It was a rare moment of boldness for her. She struggled against his hold and leaned up so her face was inches from his. "Jin. I…I like you the way you are. I wish you…didn't feel like you might split, but I like you the way you are."
When she said his name, his real name, his eyes widened a little. A smile tugged at his lips. "I love you," he mumbled before leaning down.
Her heart got fluttery again when his lips met hers and she felt his hand move up and down her back. He's…being so gentle. Like he thinks I'm going to break. It's different from how Sako-san does this…and I shouldn't compare them, but…A tightness started to form in her chest. I…think I might…I might love both of them. Why? How?!
Kaere was the one to break the kiss and quickly turned her face to the side. She leaned back and took off her glasses to wipe at them with the hem of her shirt, hoping to hide the redness of her face behind her messy dark brown hair. Can you love more than one person this way? Both of them mean a lot to me. I worry about them both and I just…want everyone to be happy.
"O-okay, um, I'll get the snacks."
Twice insisted on opening the bags of candy and chips for her and settled back against the wall. An arm wrapped around her waist to hold her back against his chest. Watching her play a game on her console and listening as she nervously tried to explain the mechanics of it. This simple moment seemed to be enough to make him feel content and stable.
Her heart was beating at a hummingbird's pace. Very aware of the warmth against her back and the arm settled around her hips. Self-conscious about the choices she made in the game, but glad for the companionship. She never played video games around Compress because he was so distinguished; she was sure he would find the games boring.
That's it…isn't it? Different attributes, she thought as she fell into medic-mode. Getting lost in her thoughts. Sako-san is confident and cultured…well put together. The opposite of me so he's like…the complimenting contrast. Twice is…more like me. We're both broken, but we know what it's like so we can sympathize with each other and…it's like we're two broken pieces supporting each other and trying to make a whole piece.
Kaere heard a frustrated sigh from beside her ear seconds before the stubble on his cheek rubbed against the side of her neck. "Is everything okay? Um…if it's boring, you can tell me. I won't be offended. I-I know gaming isn't interesting to everyone so-"
"I could…listen to talk for hours," he mumbled, a hand settling on her hip. "I'd never get bored of you, Kae-chan. I just…I'm overthinking again and I've gotta stop doing that. I'm gonna end up splitting if I do it."
She saved her game progress and focused on the warm feeling of his hand against her hip. Her breathing hitched when she felt his thumb slip beneath the hem of her shirt and rub small, careful circles on her skin. "What are you thinking about? If you talk it out…and I'm here to listen…maybe you'll feel better."
Twice hesitated to speak again. His eyes were closed and he was focusing on how cool her skin felt under his fingertips. It was a sharp contrast at first, but it was becoming soothing. "I…fell for you the night we met," he muttered, his warm breath brushing along her neck and collarbone. "Compress said I trust people too easily and I…know he's right. I messed up so many times in the past because I trusted people, but I…I know trusting you was right. He said I'm…mistaking love for feeling reassured, but…that's what love feels like, isn't it?"
The girl set her handheld console aside and rested her hand over his. "I…I think love is different for different people…a chemical reaction in the brain to triggers. But…I'm…having some trouble right now," she confessed. Kaere's eyes were tearing up so she took off her glasses and struggled to try to put them on the little table to the side.
He managed to catch her before she could tumble off the bed onto the floor and put her glasses down for her. Holding her against his chest again, feeling the rapid beating of her heart and feeling his own heart break a little when he realized she was trembling. "Kae-chan? You okay?"
She was chewing at her lower lip, scratching frantically at her wrist in her moment of anxiety. "I don't…I don't know what to do. Because I…I love him, but…I know that what I feel towards you is love, too. Different kinds of love, but they're similar. I don't know what to do. You both…make me feel so warm and happy, but I feel like my heart's being split apart."
Twice shifted so he was lying down with her on top. Holding her securely, running his fingers through her hair as he tried to calm her down. It was rare that he was given the opportunity to comfort her so he was determined to do his best. "It's okay. Kae-chan, don't cry. It's…it's alright. No way! You've gotta pick me! Look how awesome I am! No! I don't…I don't deserve you! Just don't cry. Please. It hurts seeing you like this."
The girl closed her eyes and let her cheek rest against his chest. The rhythm of his heart lulling her out of her panic and the warm feeling of his fingers running through her hair bringing her further comfort. "I'm…I'm sorry. I ruined this. I shouldn't…I don't…deserve you. It's not the other way around."
His free hand gripped her chin and lifted her face so she was looking at him, even though he was a little blurry. "I don't wanna hear you say stuff like that! Look at me! I'm gonna love you and nothing you say is gonna change that! I don't even care if I've gotta share you, okay?! I totally care! Who wants to share somebody?! No! I don't care, okay? If you…if you want to hang out with him, that's fine! I'm not gonna be a possessive asshole like Dabi, okay? I just want you to be happy!"
Kaere let his words sink in and it only further convinced her that he was too good for her. Even if they were both villains; his heart was a thousand times more pure than hers. She picked up her console again and blushed pink when he put her glasses on for her. "Th-thank you. Um…so I can start another save file on this game if you want to try it."
They were back to their previous position; Twice leaning back against the wall with her back held against his chest. "Sure. Uh…you usually play with Spinner and Shigaraki, right?" He hesitantly took the console and let her small, cold hands arrange his fingers on the right buttons.
"Yeah, um, we usually all game together in a group. I always play a healer, but they have a lot of classes to choose from. If you want…I think the thief class might be a good one for beginners in this game. Less complex move sets."
Kaere helped him with the game; giving gentle advice and feeling proud of him each time his character got an achievement or leveled up. When her phone rang, she jumped and felt guilt settle in the pit of her stomach when she saw Compress's name on the screen. "H-hello, Kaere speaking."
"Kaere? Oh, yes! My darling Kae. I always forget that Kae is just a nickname." There was amusement in his voice as he spoke. "I'm at your apartment right now. I came to get you for our day out, but Dabi told me that you went somewhere with Twice. Did he manage to injure himself again already? Well, no matter! Could you meet me at your apartment?"
"Sure…um…I'll be there soon. I'm sorry." She apologized to Twice and packed up her things quickly. What can I do to make it up to him? I forgot that he wanted to see me today. I…probably hurt him. What am I going to say? I won't lie to him, but…he's…he's probably going to hate me.
She was walking briskly down a back alley when something bright red came fluttering down in front of her. Stopping dead in her tracks, she stared down at the feather. A quiet thud sounded behind her, followed by footsteps. She stayed frozen in place; too afraid to move.
"Found you, Naoru~"