In the eye of the Beholder
Max and Bakura were standing guard while the rest of the group was resting. "It's just like Noah said," Bakura was telling Max. "A Digimon's true power is unlocked when the Digimon's resolve and the tamer's feelings are connected."
"And that's what made it possible for Wendigomon to digivolve into Antylamon and protect us," Max said, thinking about what Téa and Kokomon just discussed.
Bakura still seemed to be filled with doubt. "I wonder if Terriermon and I will ever be truly connected," he muttered to himself, looking down at his partner. The rabbit was fast asleep in his lap. Once in a while, his nose and ears would twitch. Bakura softly smiled, wondering what Terriermon was dreaming about.
Max understood Bakura's feelings. She was used to this ordeal because she had faced it many times before back home and in the other worlds, but this was new to Bakura. "You know, Bakura, a journey like this may actually be just what you need." As he looks at her, she continues, "Think of it as a journey of self-discovery. You're learning new things about yourself you never realized before. And I'm sure that once you discover the true power within you, Terriermon will feel it and you two will be closer than ever."
The white-haired lad smiled and said, "Thanks, Max. But what about you and Renamon?"
"I don't think we have anything to worry about," Max boasted. "She really reminds me of myself if you know what I mean. She's proud, smart, determined, sometimes in an irritating kind of way, but I still like that about her."
"Not to mention you're both beautiful inside and out," Bakura commented.
At first, Max took that as flattery, because she was used to hearing boys tell her that she was beautiful, but she knew that Bakura was being honest about his remark. She knew he wasn't in love with her for her beauty, but because of the kind of person she was. Sadly, though, there were still a lot of things Bakura didn't know about Max and she didn't want to share any of it with him right away. It hurt her to keep so many secrets from her best friend who loved and trusted her, but she didn't want to hurt him.
Rather than allow herself to be tormented by those thoughts, she instead smiles and says, "I really admire that about you, Bakura. You're so kind and so sincere. And I always appreciate you thinking of me. I've been around a lot of guys who've always been so flirtatious and infatuated with me, but I know your feelings are pure. It's like you can see through me and you bring out the best in me. That's why I really admire you, Bakura."
This time, he was the one who was feeling flattered. He also felt his heart racing. "Do you really mean that?" he wondered.
"I do," she replied. In many ways, her words were true, though she tried convincing herself that she was only saying that to keep him from sensing any feelings of worry or doubt. Still, she was telling the truth when she told Bakura how she thought he was sincere. But it was also a half truth when she said he brought out the best in her because Max still wasn't able to be her true self around him.
But to Bakura, Max was honest and he always accepted her word. "Thanks, love," he replied. He yawned as he was beginning to feel sleepy.
Max noticed it and suggested, "Why don't you get some sleep? I'll keep watch through the rest of the night."
"Are you sure," he asked. Max nodded. He picked up Terriermon and positioned himself next to a tree. "Max, no matter what we may find out about ourselves, we'll always be friends, right?" he asked. He didn't want anything about this journey to change his feelings for her, but what really worried him the most was Max's feelings for him changing.
Max shared the same concerns and promised him, "Of course we will."
Bakura smiles gently and replies, "Good, I'm glad. And I trust you, Max." He closes his eyes and begins drifting off to sleep.
And I don't deserve that trust, she thought to herself. She really did feel undeserving of his trust. She also knew that Bakura deserved better than her. Max was happy that he was in love with her, but it saddened her that his love could never be returned. That was why she knew he deserved someone who would return his love. Max still cared about Bakura, but it hurt her thinking how much she was hurting him by keeping so many secrets from him and not allowing him to see her for who she really is. She felt like she was taking advantage of his love and trust by fooling him into believing that this was who she really was.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Renamon's voice. "You seem a little troubled, Max."
She snapped out of it and said, "I thought you had gone to sleep."
"I couldn't while you and Bakura were talking," she replied.
Max stifled a gasp and wondered, "Were you listening to everything we said?"
"More or less," the fox answered. "You two are really close, aren't you?"
Max didn't want to give Renamon the wrong impression. "Yeah, we grew up together." She watches him as he sleeps soundly. "Bakura has always gone out of his way for me without complaint or difficulty. He always had a way of making me smile. I know he's not perfect, I know he's not the bravest or smartest, but he's still kind and sincere and I like that about him. What I also appreciate more is that he loves me for just being me."
"But you don't love him in the same way," Renamon assumed.
Sadly, she didn't, but she didn't want to say it out loud. Instead, Max replied, "I haven't decided yet, but my feelings are telling me not to, that he deserves a better person to love than me."
"But no one knows Bakura better than you do," the fox protested.
"Renamon, you just don't understand," Max said, sounding irritated. It tormented her how much Renamon thought she knew about her partner, but Max still wasn't going to confide in her. That was when she knew what to say. "My whole life has been about gaining trust only to end up breaking it. All of my friends say they trust me and I fool them into believing that they can when really, deep down inside, I'm so untrustworthy. That's because I know I'm just going to end up hurting not only a lot of people around me, but myself."
"Is that why you won't confide in anybody," Renamon asked, "Because you won't allow anyone to see you for who you really are?"
She sighs of frustration and argues, "You don't get it, Renamon. People like me don't get anywhere in life except by using false selves."
The fox shook her head in disappointment. "I think you don't get it," she countered. "The more false selves you develop, the more you'll prevent yourself from discovering who you really are. You're not helping anyone or even yourself by performing such charades. You're just causing misery by being selfish. And the more you gain by being selfish, the greater you're going to lose."
Max didn't understand how she was being selfish by using false selves. She was letting other people see her for what they wanted to see her as. Even so, those false selves didn't really define who she really was. Her partner did have a point, though. Max would never know who she really was if she continued to use false selves. But she also wondered, what's the point? Why bother trying to be anything else if people are only going to perceive you as they want to? Still, she also wondered, was she being true to herself by using so many false selves? Max was wondering into it so much that she began to fall asleep.
It pained Renamon to see Max so tormented, but she had to be honest with her partner. The fox really wished that Max would open up to her, let her get close to her partner. Renamon sighed and positioned herself close to Max and fell asleep.
Renamon woke up to the sound of a tree rustling. She saw a small round and dark Digimon emerge from the tree holding a poison dart in his talon. Aiming for Max, he tossed the dart. "Oh, no, Max," the fox cried, jumping in front of her partner.
Max woke up as she felt Renamon's weight on her body. "Renamon," she gasped. She saw the poison dart stuck in her arm and carefully removed it. The fox groaned, feeling drowsy.
Bakura woke up and asked, "What happened?"
Before Max can answer, the sky starts to become darker and a chilly wind begins blowing, causing everyone else to wake up. The clouds finally clear and the nearly full moon becomes visible again and is blood red. Looking in the sky, everyone sees a carriage being pulled by a Devidramon. The carriage opens up and a coffin falls out. Another Digimon emerges from the coffin. "Digidestined, at last we meet," he says grimly.
Max looks up the information on her digivice. "Myotismon is an ultimate level vampire-like Digimon that feeds on the blood of his victims. His attacks include Crimson Lightning, Grizzly Wing, and Nightmare Claw."
"I witnessed your battles with Arukeninmon and the Devidramon and I must say I'm impressed," Myotismon commented. "You children are proving to be quite the challenge."
"Are you the one who sent those Digimon to attack us?" Yugi asked.
"I was using those foolish weaklings to test your abilities," the vampire answered. "After witnessing your skills firsthand, I would like to see it for myself." He unleashes his Grizzly Wing attack, sending a swarm of bats to attack the heroes. Tokomon, Kokomon, and Yokomon all digivolve back into their rookie forms and attack the bats. Agumon, Guilmon, and Monodramon join in.
"We'll handle the bats," said Agumon. "You guys take care of Myotismon."
The rest of the Digimon agree and digivolve into their champion forms. Gargomon tries to attack with his Gargo Pellets, but only ends up attacking more bats. Ikkakumon launches his Harpoon Torpedo, but ends up with the same results. It's the same for Lekismon as she launches her Moon Night Bomb. Gatomon leaps for Myotismon, but the vampire whiplashes her along with the others using his Crimson Lightning.
"It's no use," said Duke. "This guy's too strong."
Renamon opened her eyes. Her vision was still blurry, but she could sense that her allies needed help. "I've got to do something to help," she gurgled. "I'm the only one left."
Max wouldn't let her. "You can't fight in your condition."
"Please understand, Max," she pleaded. "I have to protect you."
"I won't have it," Max barked, trying to hold her partner back.
The fox understood Max's feelings of concern for her, but she was still determined to protect her partner. That allowed her to find the strength to pull herself together from the poison's effect. "Renamon, digivolve to… Kyubimon!" After her digivolution was complete, she charged in for Myotismon using her Dragon Wheel. The Kitsune engulfed herself in her flames and the shining fire reached for the vampire.
As Max watched Kyubimon fight, she began scolding herself. I know it's Kyubimon's instinct to protect me, but she doesn't deserve this. She shouldn't force herself to suffer because of me. She began thinking of the many times all of her friends put themselves in harm's way just to help her, like the time Joey tried to rescue her from Malik's shadow magic and how Emily used the Millennium Star against the Leviathan. How could someone like me deserve such absolution? Max asked herself. After all the misery I caused? No one should have to suffer because of me. She looked and saw her partner being whiplashed by Myotismon's Crimson Lightning. "Kyubimon!" she screamed.
Max's digivice began giving off an immense light. The light made its way from the digivice to Kyubimon and enveloped her, filling her with energy. "Kyubimon, digivolve to… Taomon!" She still had her fox features, but was dressed in the robes of a monk. She approached her partner and said gently, "Max, your feelings of concern for me are making me strong."
"You digivolved," Max was saying, "because of me." She wasn't saying it like it was her fault, but out of acknowledgement. She looked at the information on her digivice. "Taomon is an ultimate Digimon who resembles a monk endowed with the powers of the fox spirit. Her attacks include Sacred Seal, Thousand Spell, and Talisman of Light."
Myotismon growled and asked, "How could this happen just when I was about to claim my victory?"
"I'll protect you, Max," Taomon promised. Her Thousand Spell unleashed hundreds of sutras that began colliding with the bats of Myotismon's Grizzly Wing. She also pulled out her magic brush and created a mark in the air, invoking the power of her Talisman of Light. The symbol began making its way to the vampire, wounding him. Knowing Myotismon would be taking this time to recover, Taomon told everyone to surround her. She used her Sacred Seal to create a barrier around herself and her comrades and transport them.
When everyone got far away enough, Taomon degenerated back into Viximon. "Max, do you realize what happened back there," the fox kit asked. She didn't receive an answer, so she decided to explain. "I sensed your thoughts about not deserving of being my tamer, but I didn't let it stop me from wanting to protect you. I was determined to help you because I could tell you were in pain on the inside."
"I thought a lot about what you said, about how my being selfish causes a lot of people to suffer and me too," Max recalled. "You were right. That was what made me feel so undeserving and think about how much I was hurting everyone. And then you were getting hurt."
"And ironically, those feelings healed my wounds and gave me strength and made me digivolve," Viximon concluded.
Curiously, Joey asked, "So, Max, what mark appeared on your digivice?"
"If you must know, humility," she replied.
"Wow, humility," Duke echoed. "It's perfect for you."
Max raises her voice and protests, "No, it's not! It's not like me at all!"
"But it is like you," Bakura argued. "You think less of yourself for the sake of everyone else."
"No!" she shouted. "I don't care about anyone else! The truth is, you don't know the first thing about me, Bakura! So back off!" She looks at Bakura's shocked expression, then realizes that she's doing it again. She softens her voice and says, "I'm sorry, Bakura. Humility was just the last thing I expected myself to represent. I thought my element was going to be something I thought was more suitable like magic or beauty." She looks at the others and says, "Just like Yugi, Joey, Kaiba, and Emily. Your elements suit you so perfectly. I just don't see how humility suits me."
"That's easy," Emily was saying. "You're too proud to admit how you really feel and you act so rashly without taking the consequences into account. That's why you have to learn your lessons the hard way. Sometimes you don't until it's too late. But when you do realize your mistakes, that's when you finally admit you were wrong and begin to humble yourself before the ones you hurt."
Téa agreed and said, "You did the same thing when Serenity and I found you in the snowy forest back on the island. You confessed your flaws of how you knew better, yet seldom listened to your conscience. Everybody does that, but no one does it like you do."
Serenity approached Max and said, "Max, I like you. When we met, you taught me about courage and determination and not to give up." She smiles and adds, "And like I said when we last saw each other, you're like the sister I never had. So please don't think badly of yourself for us."
Bakura approaches her and says, "She's right. This is a new self-discovery even for you, but don't let it change your perspective too much. Don't forget, we promised not to let it change anything about our friendship with you."
It was true. It didn't matter how much Max showed her pride on the outside. Deep down inside, she knew she was hurting a lot of people around her. But whenever she confessed her flaws, she received everyone's forgiveness and earned back their trust.
Bakura takes Max's hands and helps her up. "I don't care if you're one or the other because they're still part of what make you who you are," he tells her. "Besides, everyone's got a little bit of both in them."
"He's right," Tristan said in agreement. "No one's really only black or white."
As Max listened to what everyone was telling her, tears began to fill her eyes. She looked down at Viximon who was still smiling at her. She dries her eyes and sobs, "I'm sorry, you guys."
Kaiba grinned and thought to himself, Max is stubborn and proud and shows it a lot. At first, I liked that about her and thought it was cute in an irritating kind of way. But while she may be too proud to admit how she really feels, she's also very humble and knows when to admit she's wrong. That's why the symbol of humility appeared on her digivice. And if you ask me, that's a good call.