This is not a children's book. Just a PG-rated fanfic.
Diana preferred to train for the rest of the day, still trying to get Poliwag to evolve. She even challenged her cousin to battle, hoping that taking out half a team would help. At the end of it all, she was rewarded with a Poliwhirl, and hopefully, a Pokémon with better defenses than he'd had before.
Not that a Poliwhirl would be useful in a Grass-type trial, but it was nice to have him for later.
While our impatient heroes rushed right to the trial area almost as soon as they were awake, Mallow had to stop them from jumping right into the trial itself.
"Diana," she said, getting the other girl's attention, "you can only bring one of your friends with you. And by one of your friends, I mean Rotom."
"I figured that would be the case," Diana admitted. "Would the trial be harder if I had him tag along? He's actually gotten a lot better with the spontaneous fires!"
"A little better, anyway," Rotom agreed.
"I'm still not allowing him in the area," Mallow insisted. "And, yes, it might actually be a little harder if you had him, anyway. Your job is to take the Stoutland on your Ride Pager, and use it to sniff out the necessary ingredients for a meal. You and Eli can join us when we eat, IF you can get the Grassium-Z." She smiled innocently. Diana didn't trust it. "You need a Mago Berry, a Tiny Mushroom, Revival Herb, and Miracle Seed!"
"It sounds more like you're preparing for a battle than cooking," Diana pointed out.
"It does, but that's because I'm cooking for the Pokémon, too!"
"Do they even eat Miracle Seeds?"
Her question remained unanswered as Mallow pushed her into the jungle, and the trial began. Eli waited until his traveling buddies had disappeared into the trees, and looked over at Mallow hopefully.
"So," he said, trying to be casual about it, "it looks like it's just you and me, huh? What do you think about tinfoil hats?"
"I think they're stupid," Mallow said immediately.
Eli immediately backed down. "We're done here."
Diana, Rotom, and Stoutland were sent all over Lush Jungle, looking for those ingredients and occasionally screaming in frustration. Eli and Mallow, however, were stuck waiting.
Eli got bored. He released his Pokémon, and the four of them all slept in a pile, none of them bothered by the heat of three Fire-types so close together.
When they woke up, there was a fifth friend with them.
It was a large caterpillar-like Pokémon, with a black face and white and red fluff. It was snuggled up in the small corner created by Eli's arm and Growlithe's leg. When the human stirred, the bug did, too.
"Hi," it said, knowing very well Eli couldn't understand. "You're warm."
"He's ours," Salandit warned. "I'm the new one. He's had me for a day. Go away and come back later."
"The Torracat said I could stay."
"I never said anything," said Robbie. "I didn't know you were even here."
Eli took a moment to notice the extra Pokémon, and when he did, he sighed. "I'm never going to catch one like a normal person, am I?"
"Probably not." Growlithe couldn't stop the tail-wagging, though. "What do you say, Eli? Can the fuzzy thing stay?"
Eli rolled onto his hands and knees, looking the new Pokémon over. "If I'm going to catch you," he said, "we're going to have to do this the normal way. You're going to have to battle." The bug made a sound of agreement. "Ok, then! Growlithe!"
Growlithe took his place on the makeshift battlefield, just as Stoutland's cry of triumph echoed off the trees.
"Diana! We're so close! Why are you on the ground?"
Diana looked up at Rotom with all the hatred at the world she could muster. "Because I'm sick of crawling around the jungle, searching for the tiniest edible items ever to be made by nature, just for the chance to get my butt handed to me by an overpowered monstrosity." She closed her eyes, finally seeming to be at peace. "You go on without me. I'm going to see if kids who die in the forest really become Phantump."
"By being a kid who dies in the forest?"
Diana shrugged, which only angered Rotom more. "We all have to die somewhere," she pointed out.
"But it doesn't have to be now! This is a terrible idea! What about your parents? Your aunt and uncle? Who's going to keep Eli from getting arrested for his accidental arson situations?" When Diana looked conflicted, but still didn't move, he moved on to more personal things. "What about Kukui and Colress? Your career? Ilima?" He got closer to her ear. "Think about all the sparkly things you won't be able to play with if you're dead."
That did it. "You're right. I can't die here." Diana stood up and brushed herself off. "I'd get hungry."
"This is the weirdest trial I've ever been a part of," said Stoutland.
Rotom groaned. "You get used to it."
Diana had already picked up her foraging bag and was digging around for the last ingredient without Stoutland's help. After only two minutes of searching, her complaints were replaced by a triumphant laugh. "I found it! I found it all! Let's go and eat!"
Of course, walking out of the jungle, they found not only Eli and Mallow, but Kiawe, Lana, all of Eli's Pokémon, and…
"Diana, Rotom." Eli gestured to the newest Pokémon, a clear Bug-type. "This is my newest catch. I call him Foo-foo Cuddlypoops. Foo-foo Cuddlypoops, meet the nerds."
"That's a LARVESTA!" Rotom sounded close to short-circuiting. "How did you even find it? It's not native to Alola!"
"Diana caught Murkrow where they don't appear!"
"At least Murkrow sightings are common on other islands!"
Diana cut between them. "Rotom, as strange as it is that Eli caught a Larvesta in Alola, this is a kid who routinely sets fires by accident. Eli, not even going into the fact that Larvesta is yet another Fire-type, we are not calling your Larvesta 'Foo-foo Cuddlypoops.' That's an even dumber name than Nebby."
Eli forced a stern look as he stared his new Pokémon in the eye. "Why didn't you tell me that you were combustible?" he asked it, sounding almost like a parent disappointed in a toddler. Larvesta squeaked and wiggled, looking down in shame.
Lana had an entirely different train of thought. "What's a Nebby?" she asked, but Mallow hushed her, pounding the ingredients together and pretending not to notice the cousins at all.
"Do you want them here any longer than they have to be?" Mallow asked quietly, hoping that the non-captains couldn't hear. "The boy caught a LARVESTA in ALOLA."
"And led an entire army of Pokémon up the volcano," Kiawe added. "And the girl tried to stick her hand in lava."
"She wasn't afraid of the giant school of Wishiwashi popping out of the water at her," Lana finished. "And he said they were descended from aliens."
"More likely, they're first-generation aliens." Kiawe's statement was met with agreeing nods from the other captains, but the conversations weren't finished, because something stepped on a twig, and the crack distracted them all.
"What was that?" Eli asked uncertainly. He could feel a familiar heat in his chest, crawling up to his face – such a thing was usually accompanied by a spark at least. This time, his four Pokémon friends all circled around him, smothering any flames with their bodies and calming him just by being there.
The heat faded in the time it usually took to set something on fire. Maybe being a Fire-type specialist wouldn't be a bad thing.
Diana, meanwhile, was just as unafraid as she had been when the Wishiwashi school had jumped from the water, and stared defiantly into the Totem's eyes. The Totem stared back.
"Rotom, give me the details," Diana commanded, not looking away.
Rotom switched on immediately. "Lurantis. A pure Grass-type. A powerful Pokémon that can cut through metal with its sickle-shaped petals."
"Cutting through metal, you say?" Diana looked at Lurantis in a different way. She saw herself commanding such a creature, studying it, experimenting with it…
Maybe another time, she told herself. "Rotom, play boss music." As Rotom did so, Diana reached for a ball. Lurantis assumed a battle stance. Diana's twisted smile showed that she was just as ready. "Stufful, let's go!"
Stufful got one Baby-Doll Eyes attack in, and was promptly annihilated by a Solar Blade. Diana wasn't afraid – Stanford could deal with anything Lurantis could pull.
The Trumbeak it called in as an ally would be a little harder, but at least he had Synthesis to help. Diana made a mental note to never let him forget that move. Even so, he wasn't any better off than Stufful in the end, and Lurantis knew Synthesis, too.
Murkrow could use Wing Attack and Night Shade, but what ultimately won the battle was the simple solution of giving her usual one-hope Pokémon a Revive and a few Hyper Potions, and then letting Lycanroc take care of the Trumbeak when Stanford lost again.
"You didn't even get to meet Castform," Mallow said, slightly disappointed.
"Let me guess. It had Sunny Day to charge Solar Blade in a single turn."
"Wow, you're good!"
"I've learned to take down the Totem first." Diana shrugged. "A lot less of a mess to clean up."
"Well, I can't say you didn't fight! So, here!" Mallow handed Diana the Grassium-Z, and demonstrated the dance for Rotom's camera.
"That's a new video up for the ten followers for Diana's adventure," Rotom announced.
"We have followers?" Diana asked.
"Only ten?" Eli complained.
"I think it's your powers that cut down on how popular it gets," Rotom said with a shrug. "It makes you less relatable."
"Well I can't CONTROL it!"
Mallow shivered from something other than cold. "Let's get out of here," she told her friends. "Protect the jungle until they're gone."
Lana and Kiawe instantly agreed, and the three captains ran off into the trees. Their disappearance was accompanied by the reappearance of Professor Kukui, and Diana's smile became forced.
"Diana! I'm guessing you cleared Mallow's trial, yeah?" Diana nodded, not wanting to talk to the professor just yet. Kukui continued on, ignorant of that fact. "Then I'll give you this TM as a present. Smart Strike, a move that will never miss!"
"Why do people keep giving me these?"
"So your Pokémon can learn new moves. That's my research specialty, after all." He had to smile at Diana's confusion. "Besides, having your Pokémon know moves most people can't teach theirs can confuse your opponents. And scientists tend to get their hands on a lot more than basic trainers." Diana grunted in response. Kukui ignored that, too. "Speaking of scientists, why don't we head over to the Dimensional Research Lab? We can have a party for you to celebrate passing all of Akala's trials before you face Olivia!"
"Even me?" Eli asked hopefully.
"Of course! The place has the best sprinkler system on the island!"
"Will the Masked Royal be joining us?" Diana asked pointedly.
For a moment, a flash of annoyance crossed Kukui's face. Then he put his smile back in place. "You met the Masked Royal?"
"I have. I fought him in a Battle Royal, too."
"Did you win?"
"What do you think?"
"I'll bet you were great."
"Yeah, I don't think so. Is he coming to the lab party, or not?
Kukui shook his head, but the smile didn't fade this time. "I don't think the Royal knows you well enough to attend your parties, Diana."
"If you say so," said Diana, but internally, she was wondering how stupid Kukui thought she was.
She really should track down Colress and demand to be his lab assistant. No matter what anyone said.