Just to clarify the ages: Bella is 25 and Edward is 29.

This chapter shows a very typical day of somebody with anxiety - their mood swings and thinking patterns can change in an instant. It doesn't come with a trigger warning, however it can be difficult to read. Please note that anything that anybody says is not meant to seem rude or inconsiderate - Bella's mind will twist their words and she has no control over that.

It's also longer than normal; you might want to grab a snack.

Hereafter
Chapter 20

November 22nd, 2018
Bella.

I didn't get much sleep last night.

The nightmares replayed over and over, and the negative thoughts slowly consumed my head like the mould on an apple. They never leave me alone, they never give me the time to think and act normally.

This is my life now.

A life that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Can I even call this a life?

Before I was taken, I was given a daily reminder that people my age were getting married, having children, and progressing with their job. Is that even possible for me anymore? Who is going to love someone like me? Someone who relies on their dog to do everything for them. Children are completely out of the question - how can I care for a child when I can't even care for myself?

These sort of thoughts make my head want to explode.

Does it make me a bad person that I envy the lives of my peers? That I want them to experience the pain that I'm going through, at least just once?

I stare at the ceiling above me, begging for my mind to shut off and for me to sleep calmly. I am exhausted - completely and utterly exhausted, but that doesn't mean anything. In order for me to sleep, I need to shut out those negative thoughts. I've searched high and low, but I'm still to find the off button.

As soon as I do fall asleep, the nightmares appear.

James' face appears.

Then I wake up, and repeat the cycle again.

0-0

06:04

I didn't go back to sleep properly after that, and I was still awake at six o'clock when Edward knocked quietly on the door. He was surprised to see me awake, and his sad smile told me that he understood - sleep can be difficult to come by. He crouched beside my side of the bed and spoke ever so quietly so to not wake Charlie up. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. It's best to act like nothing was wrong.

"I'm going to take the dogs for a walk. My mom is getting breakfast ready in the kitchen if you would like to go downstairs?"

Do I want to get up?

I'm hungry, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to face his mom by myself.

"Scared… Edward." My voice was barely a whisper.

"You don't need to be scared, and if you'd rather stay up here then that is absolutely fine."

What is the right thing to do?

What would the old Bella do?

The old Bella would offer her help in the kitchen, but I can't do that.

The old Bella would wash up the dishes, or prepare some of the food. I can't do that either.

The old Bella would put her worries behind her and face the situation. I definitely cannot do that.

But I don't want to sit up here either. Charlie is fast asleep, and will be for a couple of hours, and if something happened he wouldn't be alert enough to help me. Luna has to go for her walk, so I will be all by myself. Maybe Edward's mom could look after me? Maybe I can show Edward how brave I am by sitting in the kitchen until he comes home?

It is a constant back-and-forth in my head. Maybe I can do this… maybe I can do that… I can't seem to decide on a solid answer; it is a continuous game of second-guessing.

After much deliberation I finally decided on going downstairs.

Will his mom feel offended if I have to leave? Who is going to help me if that happens? How long will Edward be out for? I can stay with his mom until he gets home… right?

I was so busy questioning everything in my life that I never noticed Edward had brought over my sweater and held a new pair of fluffy socks. With gentle hands he helped me sit up and dangle my legs over the side of the bed - Luna was up and alert, waiting for us patiently. Edward slipped my feet into the socks as I put on my sweater.

"Are you okay to walk?"

I nodded. His house was big, and the journey was much further than I what I was used to, however I knew that with his arms around me, I could probably make my way there. The only issue came when we got to the stairs. The stairs were two separate levels, which only increased the difficulty, but thankfully they had a small landing in between which gave me the opportunity to rest for a second before we descended the second set.

Just like Edward said, his mother was in the kitchen preparing food for breakfast and side dishes for the main Thanksgiving meal later on. Esme had a floral apron tied around her waist and her hair had been tied up haphazardly with a large grip.

The scuffling of our feet broke her distraction, and she turned to greet us with a large smile on her face. "Happy Thanksgiving!" Esme cheered. She clearly loved this holiday, and the family time that it brought.

From the way that the kitchen was laid out, the best place for me to sit was the breakfast bar; Edward pulled out one of the stools and assisted me as I lifted myself up onto it. "I won't be out for long, but is there anything that I can get for you before I leave?"

I shook my head - the sooner he left, the sooner he came back - but Esme also responded to her son's question by playfully hitting his arm with the cloth that hung over her shoulder. "I am more than capable of getting Bella whatever she needs."

It was clear that Edward didn't want to leave me, and was unsure of whether to take the dogs out or not. He cradled my face, took some deep breaths, and then kissed my forehead sweetly. "I'll be back before you know it, okay? You are perfectly safe here."

He always told me how safe I was, and that nothing was going to happen to me.

I wanted to believe him - I really, really did, but it was difficult. It was going to take a long time for me to feel perfectly safe again.

Once he had left, I watched Esme's every move as she whipped up some pancake batter and began to slice up various fruits which were tossed up to make a salad.

"It is tradition in our house to have a large Thanksgiving breakfast. Edward told me that you like oatmeal and strawberries?"

I nodded, without taking my eyes away from the colorful fruit salad.

"Would you like some strawberries whilst we wait? There are plenty to go around?"

I tore my eyes away from the bowl in order to look at Esme. Her smile was caring, and I could tell that she only wanted to help, but before I accepted any food from her, I had to make sure that it was clean and poison free - only Edward and Charlie have made me food, and when James would give me a 'meal' it was always laced in some sort of drug which made me pass out. I was certain that Esme wouldn't do that to me, but I had to get my mind to believe it also.

They need to be "…clean."

With my one-word answer it was hard for Esme to understand what I was trying to say, and so of course her mind didn't automatically jump to them being clean from any drugs. "Oh of course - you never know what these farmers coat their fruit in." I watched carefully as she took three strawberries out from the packet and ran them under some cold water.

"Would you like me to slice them up for you, so that they are a bit easier for you to eat?"

I nodded again, and found interest in how easily Esme used the sharp knife. She didn't even need to put the fruit down onto a board, just simply held them in one hand and brought the knife down to the base of her thumb repeatedly until the strawberries were cut into four long slices.

"Thank… you."

"There is no reason to thank me, Bella, but is there anything else I can get for you? Some hot tea, or a coffee perhaps?"

I shook my head; I didn't want to be a bother, because I could see how busy she was.

I ate my strawberries in silence and watched as Esme peeled a large bucket of potatoes, sweet potatoes, and carrots. Once all the vegetables had been peeled, she began to cut them up into chunks and placed them in their own separate pots. "The men in this family are big eaters - it's always best to have leftovers."

I couldn't help but smile. Emmett seemed like the sort of person who would leave the table to get seconds.

"I remember I used to make sweet potato casserole with my Grandmother every year; no-one else was allowed to touch it and I haven't changed the recipe once. Do you have a favorite holiday tradition or memory?"

I had to think about my answer, Thanksgiving was never as big with my family as it appears to be here.

I always made "cookies…" and pumpkin pie "with…my… Mom."

Thinking back to my childhood always made me sad - I never would have imagined that I would end up like this. That carefree girl in my memories doesn't exist anymore, and won't appear again.

"Well you are in luck! Alice and Rose are taking over dessert this afternoon, and so knowing my daughter you will have hundreds of variations to choose from."

I liked how she spoke about her children; she always had the warmest smile which told me just how much she loves them.

"I believe that you haven't met Alice before, is that right?" I nodded. "You have nothing to worry about. Alice is a ball of energy, but just like her brothers, she has the biggest heart. After today she will say that the two of you are now best friends and she will get annoyed at Edward if he spends more time with you than she does."

Why does everybody have to say that I have nothing to worry about? It makes me wonder if they would tell me whether I do have something to worry about. Telling me not to worry is like telling a snake not to hiss, or a lion not to roar - this is my defence mechanism; my fight or flight.

Under the breakfast bar my hands began to tremor. I wanted Edward home now, I wanted Charlie downstairs and I wanted Luna at my feet. Esme is lovely, and I am very thankful for her to accept me into her home, but I need my new normal back.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Esme's voice was caring, and the heavy guilt that passed through my veins caused my eyes to well up. She was being so wonderful, and I could barely even thank her for it.

I need "…Edward."

I need Charlie.

I need Luna.

I need this to end.

"Edward should be home very soon. I can give him a call if you'd prefer?"

"Bells?"

A hallelujah chorus ran through my head as Charlie entered the room. He was here! He must have somehow heard my mental screams and responded to the call. The tremors stopped almost instantly when my father brought me in for a hug. "You scared the crap outta me, kiddo. I woke up having no idea where you were."

I'm sorry…

"Edward helped her downstairs before he took the dogs out. Bella and I were having a lovely conversation about Thanksgiving."

I wouldn't call it a conversation. More like a one-sided discussion.

"Thank you for keeping an eye on her." Charlie continued to stand beside me, still with one arm around my back.

"It's my pleasure. Now, can I get you anything to drink, Charlie? Or something to tide you over before breakfast?"

"A coffee would be great, thank you."

Charlie was here, and five minutes later Edward returned back to the house.

I'm okay now. I'm safe again.

0-0

08:32

At seven o'clock I was helped into the bath, where I washed my hair by myself using the jug that Esme provided for me. As always, Charlie sat outside the entire time, and then helped me back to the spare room once I was done. Entering the room I found some new clothes on the bed, I had never seen these clothes before, but when the tags were spotted I realized that they must have been purchased recently for this day. The dress was navy blue, high neck and sat just above my knees, and it was matched with a pair of black tights and a black button-up sweater to keep me warm.

Every item had been purchased in the smallest size available, yet they were still too big. Thankfully the tights weren't too big on me, and the dress had a tie around the waist to pull it in. I wanted to look smart, and I'm very thankful that I don't have to wear my sweatpants for once, but it still made me feel self-conscious. I couldn't wait until I had a chest again to help fill out a dress. Or hips… or any sort of body fat, I suppose.

"Bella, you look so pretty!" Edward complimented me as I returned to the kitchen.

It annoyed me that he called me 'pretty' - you would call a little girl pretty, or your niece pretty.

It annoyed me that he didn't think that I looked beautiful, but why should that matter? I'm far from beautiful right now, so why would he think that?

My self-esteem only got worse when people started arriving. Rosalie, eight months pregnant, had managed to style her hair and had applied a full face of make-up. She had chosen an outfit that flowed over her large bump and had somehow managed to slim it down. She wouldn't be described as 'pretty', but here I was, a bag of bones, with clothes that don't fit me and the body of a child.

"Bella!" She cried with excitement and waddled her way over to me. I had to hide my hurt and discomfort because I genuinely was happy to see her again. I had missed Rose so much. "Oh, my sweet girl, how are you? You look so good!" She wrapped me in her arms.

"Hi… Rose." I took several deep breaths. I wanted to speak a full sentence. "I've… missed you… and… the baby."

Ow. My throat stings. I need to hold back for now.

Her blue eyes glazed over with tears. "Please don't make me cry." She laughed. "I've missed you so much, but I'm so pleased to see how far you have come. The baby is doing well - she's healthy, which is good, and tries to make my days as difficult as possible." I smiled. I liked it when she spoke about her daughter.

Rose chose to sit beside me. "I've been really excited to meet your puppy. Am I allowed to pet her?" Luna was wearing her harness, which meant that it was time for her to work, so I appreciated Rose asking for my permission. I nodded, which told her it was okay to pet her. "Hello, Luna." She cooed and scratched Luna's floppy ear. "You are so gorgeous. How is her training coming along?"

"Good."

"Edward has been telling me that she knows a lot more commands now?"

"Luna… watch me." The dog moved her head away from Rose's hand and sat back on her butt to give me her full attention. I waved my arm slowly in front of me and she followed the movement with her eyes.

"That's amazing! I'm so pleased that you have her."

Our conversation was cut short when Emmett came into the room. "Alice and Jasper will be arriving shortly if you'd like to come and meet them?"

I knew I had to meet them, but I didn't know if I wanted to right at that second.

Maybe it would be safer if I meet them whilst surrounded by other people?

Emmett helped his wife up from the seat and then held his hand out for me. He raised an eyebrow, silently asking whether or not I want to stand.

I'm the guest, so I don't want to appear rude. I also have to spend the entire day with them, so I can't hide forever.

With his help, I stood from the seat. My legs felt like jelly and my heart was pounding.

"Luna… side." She shuffled back to stand neatly on my right-hand side. Because I am right handed, I hold the leash in my right hand and she is trained to always walk on that side. "Good girl… let's go." That was her command to start walking at my pace.

With Emmett on my left, and his arms as an added frame, we made our way from the living room into the foyer where Charlie, Edward and Carlisle where all in discussion about something. They stopped talking when they saw us enter.

They were probably talking about me.

People always talk about me.

I mean, they might not have been… but they were probably talking about me.

"How are you doing, Bells?"

I feel judged, self-conscious and Edward said that I was 'pretty'. "I'm fine."

It was easier that way.

"They're here!" Esme called from the kitchen. "Everyone is here now!"

Edward took over from Emmett. "Are you sure you're alright?" He whispered. Edward had only known me for three months, yet he knew me as well as Charlie did. He had picked up on my lie.

"I'm… scared."

"I know you are, and if you need some time alone then you just need to tell me, okay? No-one is going to think badly of you."

I nodded. Maybe I'll take him up on his offer after breakfast.

Before he could say anything else, Alice and Jasper walked into the house. I had seen a couple of pictures of them before - they were both gorgeous, and Alice had also gone all out with her appearance, just like Rose had. Alice's arms were loaded with covered plates and baskets.

"Luna, down." Edward commanded sweetly. "Good girl." He added when Luna put her entire body down onto the floor, and curled her paws and tail in.

"You've got that dog trained well, Bella." My eyes shot up to view the blonde man in front of me. "It is a pleasure to meet you." Jasper had a southern twist to his voice which I hadn't expected.

"Hi…" I smiled timidly.

"Jazz, you're scaring her!" My body stiffened at the new voice that broke into my surroundings. "Hi, Bella, I'm Alice; I've been so excited to meet you!" Alice skipped to stand beside her husband.

They're only being nice, they're not trying to scare me…

"I love your dress," Alice smiled whilst eyeing my outfit. "It looks so good on you!"

I rubbed my sweaty hands together. "Thank… you." I smiled before looking down at my feet.

"I hope you're hungry - Alice has made five separate pies and, like, five batches of cookies. Rosalie has also made desserts."

"I made four pies, actually."

"Bella's favorite is cherry, right sweetheart?" I looked up at Edward, his smile told me that everything was okay.

I glanced over to Alice and Jasper before nodding slightly.

"Oh good! I made cherry, pumpkin, apple and pecan!"

I was very appreciative that Esme chose that moment to call everyone in for breakfast. Rosalie asked me to sit beside her, which I did, but then had Edward on my other side and Charlie across from me. Luna curled under my seat, and I knew from watching her that Nora had also taken place under the table.

The breakfast consisted of everything; pancakes, fruit, granola, eggs, bacon… if it's breakfast related, it was on the table. The family started up a conversation, and included me as much as possible, but I preferred to stay silent.

I wanted to leave the room.

I wanted to hide in my blanket fort.

I wanted my mind to stop screaming for just one second.

I wanted silence. Is that too much to ask?

0-0

10:57

After breakfast I settled back into the living room with Rose, Alice, Luna and Nora, with the Macy's Parade on in the background. Apparently it I also tradition with this family that the men clean up after breakfast and the women clean up after dinner. Both Charlie and Edward offered their help, of course, and to keep my mind at bay, I trained all my hearing into what was going on in the kitchen. Emmett's loud, boisterous voice could be heard much clearer than the others, but whenever he said anything all the other men laughed along with it. It was nice to hear Charlie laughing properly for once. I had almost forgotten what that sounded like.

"Oh, my God." Alice groaned, stretching out her body in the chair that she had chosen. "I don't know if this is the best or worst time to get your period." She rubbed her stomach to help soothe the pains that I had assumed she was fighting with. "Like, I want to eat everything but then I hate myself for eating too much!"

"That is the one thing I will not be looking forward to when my body is my own again." The sisters laughed together.

"Periods are the one thing that you don't miss when you don't have it. I would give my left tit if it meant I was done with them - and my left tit is the biggest one!"

It was a very generic conversation; I knew that Alice meant no offence in the slightest, and she probably hadn't even noticed her mistake, but I did. She said you don't miss your periods when you don't have them, when in actual fact I miss mine every single day. I am constantly longing to feel that twinge in my abdomen, or spotting when I go to the bathroom. I want a sign that shows that my body is normal again. I'm not sure how much weight I'll need to put on in order for them to start, but I know that it will be a very long time before my body is back to functioning properly. Mix the weight-loss with the constant stress, and I'm in for a long journey.

That is another reason why I don't see myself ever being able to have children - it'll probably be physically impossible. Another thing that James has taken from me without even knowing it.

Why do people have the need to constantly rub things in my face?

I'm not as beautiful as you and I'm not lucky enough to have my period right now.

I get it, you're hurting, but so am I.

Not everything is visible.

"Bella?" I looked up from Luna over to Rosalie. She was smiling, but it was a sad smile. "I was asking if there was anything you'd like me to get you?"

I shook my head.

"So," Alice bounced up in her seat. "What is your favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal? Mine is the turkey and the, aah, cranberry sauce!"

Both sisters looked towards me. What was my favorite part? I don't think I have one.

I like the "potatoes… and… corn."

"Ooh, good choice, Bella! Loaded with butter and garlic? Mmm, delicious!"

Rose answered next. "Mine has to be macaroni and cheese and homemade bread rolls…" It looked as though both were salivating over the thought of all that food.

The guys arrived back from the kitchen and were quick to put on the television to watch the start of the football. I moved over to the middle of the couch in order for Edward and Charlie to both sit beside me. Luna and Nora curled up at our feet.

"Let's go Seahawks!" Emmett whooped as the players made their way onto the field. I spotted then that all the guys, apart from Edward, had a beer in their hand and that Esme had also come to join us.

"Do you want a blanket?" Edward whispered with his head close to mine. I did want a blanket because I was starting to feel the chill, but I didn't want to bother anyone. Clearly Edward must have known my answer before I gave it to him. "Mom, can I get that throw?"

Esme slipped the throw off the back of her seat and unfolded it as she brought it over. "Here you go, sweetheart." She draped it over my legs and left Charlie and Edward to tuck in the sides.

"Try and get some sleep, Bells - you'll feel better after a nap."

This isn't like a headache which goes away after you get some sleep, but whatever.

"Luna, up." She had been removed from her harness so found it easier to bound up onto Edward. Her paws wobbled on his thighs as she tried to balance herself. "Good girl. Luna, lap." As instructed, Luna lowered herself and placed her front paws across my lap. Her weight was shared between Edward and I, but it wasn't too much to cause us any distress.

With Luna's weight, a blanket, Edward and Charlie, I slowly felt my body relax. I used Charlie as a pillow and focused on nothing but the cheers of the crowd on T.V. and the commentators. That distraction was enough to help my eyes close, and my mind to switch off.

The first time I woke up, I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep for, but the NFL was still playing in the background. I could hear the whisper of voices, but I faked sleep in order to witness their full conversation. Most of the time people stop talking when I enter the room, and for once I wanted to hear just what it was that they said.

"She really is quite remarkable." The accent quickly told me that that was Jasper. "I wasn't sure what to expect, but this wasn't it."

Charlie spoke next. "Bella was doing really well up until last week. We hope that this set-back won't last for too long, and that she will be recovering properly soon."

Was I not recovering already? I thought my eating, talking, walking and basic daily life was me recovering? Was I really that bad?

"Even with the set-back, this is not the girl I first met. She could barely say two words to me, and now we can have a proper conversation." Thank you, Rose - I knew I could rely on you to back me up.

"I feel so sorry for her. I wish I knew what to do to help."

Edward answered his sister. "What you are doing today is helping her, Alice. Including Bella in a conversation, or simply just making her feel like part of the group is helping her. The last thing she wants is to feel like an outsider."

"Yes, but I would like to do more."

Carlisle's calm voice broke the sibling's discussion. "Regardless of what we can do, or what we have done, it is most important that Bella understands that we are there for her. She is going through an incredibly difficult time right now, and she is battling something that not everyone will fully understand. We need to give her the time and space to recover mentally, and constantly remind her that she is loved, she is protected and she is safe."

Their conversation was not what I had expected it to be. I always thought that they spoke negatively about me, that they would curse at how badly I was doing, but it was the complete opposite of that. Half of the people in this room I had never met before, yet they all wanted to help me - why? I'm not that important. Carlisle said that they need to remind me that I am loved. That surprised me the most out of everything.

After their conversation died down and went back to the football, I fell asleep once again, and this time my dreams weren't plagued with the horror of my memories. If only all my dreams could be like that.

0-0

3:41

Not only did Esme enjoy putting on a grand meal for her family, she also enjoyed the decorations that came with it, which was made clear when I saw the dining table for the fist time. Esme, Alice and Rose had put a lot of time and effort into the centrepieces. In the middle of the table, where the turkey was going to sit, was a beautiful display of autumn leaves and squashes. Candles were spotted about and a plaid runner went from one end of the table to the other. Each person had a red cloth napkin which held their cutlery, and some fake flowers had been tied together and slotted alongside the knife and fork. I hadn't seen a table more decorated in my life.

I was seated first, just so that we could get Luna comfortable under my seat without having to dodge various legs and feet. Like with breakfast, Edward and Charlie sat on either side of me, and then Rose took the seat directly opposite. One-by-one everyone helped themselves to the mountain of side dishes which had been prepared, and Carlisle took the role of carving the turkey.

"Would you like me to make up a plate for you?" Charlie asked.

I nodded my head and thankfully didn't have to go into my detail - Charlie knew what I liked and disliked and how big a portion I would have wanted.

"No bread rolls though, right?"

No. Bread rolls remind me of sandwiches. That was something that I couldn't face just yet.

After a minute or two I was handed a plate which held small helpings of: mashed potato, corn, macaroni, sweet potato casserole and held room for turkey. I was told that I could have more if I wanted, but Charlie didn't want to make me sick by giving me too much. I couldn't help but look around the other plates, seeing them piled high with green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, stuffing… all of the things that I used to enjoy - the essentials for any Thanksgiving meal, in my opinion. Maybe next year I can enjoy them again.

"Would you like some turkey, Bella?"

I looked up at Carlisle. "Yes… please." I answered with a stutter.

Two slices there loaded onto my plate. "Please don't feel like you have to eat it all."

I waited until everyone had taken their seat before getting started. I felt eyes on me every time I took a bite - chances are they probably weren't watching, but I couldn't help but worry about it. Did they judge how small my plate was compared to theirs? Were they internally critiquing how slow I was? Or maybe they were just happy that I was eating something? It was hard to tell.

Shortly after the dinner began, Esme quietened the room and announced that it was time for everyone to say what they were thankful for this year. I had been thinking on and off about what I was wanting to say and how I would say it. Usually I went for the same thing - grateful to be able to own my own house and have a job that I love - but this year it was different. Much different.

"Rose, why don't you go first, dear?"

"I am incredibly thankful for my husband and our daughter - I never thought that this would happen, and so I feel very lucky to be in this position. I am also thankful for my wonderful family who help me through the pregnancy every day."

"I am sure I can speak for all of us and say how excited we are to meet the new addition."

Carlisle spoke next, he was thankful for our health and for all the wonderful food that we are privileged enough to be eating. It went around the table in turn - Alice was thankful for her job and all the children that she gets to teach. Emmett was thankful for sugar, caffeine and that the Seahawks won today. Charlie was up next. He put his knife and fork down onto the plate, cleared his throat, and began to talk. The raw emotion was clear in his voice.

"I will forever be thankful for every single person who has helped, and continues to help Bella and myself. It has been the worst year of my life, but it would be a lot different if a few certain people had not been present."

My dad has always been a man of little words, so to hear his genuine thanks and appreciation hit me harder than I had expected. I gnawed away at my bottom lip in hope that it would stop the tears from spilling over, but it didn't work. To help fight off my emotions I decided to get stuck into my own little speech, but that one only proved to be harder. I had asked to borrow Edward's phone where I typed up everything that I wanted to say.

"Are you okay for me to read this all out?" Edward clarified, to which I nodded. "Okay, so Bella has written out her thanks which I am going to read out for her." He looked over my words briefly before speaking them, and it was clear from the new tears in his eyes that he found my words to be just as emotional as I had.

"This time last year I never would have thought that my life would have changed so dramatically, and this time three months ago I didn't think I would have made it any further. Because of that, I am thankful for several things." Edward paused for a second. I refused to look anywhere other than at my lap. "First off I am so thankful for Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Jasper for welcoming us into their home and for allowing us to share this holiday with you all. I am thankful for Rosalie and Emmett who constantly support me and worked around the clock in order to help. Last but not least, I am thankful for Luna, Nora, Edward and my Dad - I don't think I would be here today if it wasn't for them and everything that they do for me."

The entire room was silent - you would have heard a pin drop. Cautiously, I looked up from my lap to see that everyone was looking at me. I witnessed Esme, Rose and Alice wiping tears from their cheeks. Edward put one hand on my thigh, and as he came in closer he whispered: "That was beautiful. You constantly amaze me."

He said that I constantly amaze him? Does that make up for him calling me 'pretty'?

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Thank… you."

"For what?" He asked with a laugh. I didn't know what was so funny.

"For… helping me."

"You never need to thank me for that."

0-0

The desserts were consumed and we sat at the table talking for a while afterwards. For once I didn't want to leave the room, and even when Carlisle offered to take the dogs for their evening walk, I didn't fight the need for them to stay. I even found that I was enjoying myself and when eight o'clock came around I refused to be taken to bed. I was scared for this evening to end, only because as soon as I fell asleep James will appear and the cycle will start again tomorrow.

It was almost like Groundhog Day - I will wake up and relive the same day over-and-over.

But with the right people, everything should be okay.

Maybe.

0-0

I am Scottish and so have never celebrated Thanksgiving, like always all of my information came from the internet, so I am sorry if I have butchered your holiday!

I used to have a tradition where I would update on my birthday, and seeing as that day is tomorrow, I have stuck to my tradition! Please let me know what you thought :)