Ch 23: Breakdown

After asking Kei for the passcode, as I mentioned in a text that Lady Blanc wanted to help look through the forms, we opened the case that contained all of the forms and data Kei had gathered for me.

Without Lady Blanc here, it would've been a full day's work to have sorted through the hordes of forms and spreadsheets, along with the printouts of forum posts and interview data and transcripts.

"I see, I see."

Lady Blanc nods to herself as she continues to process the forms in front of her, circling something with a red pen. Her eyes dart around, performing mental calculations at the speed of light, all without the help of a computer. She's amazing, really.

It's just…

"Lady Blanc, if I may interrupt your focus."

"Hm? You're not interrupting, what is it?"

"I'm just… a bit curious about why you decided to put on a waitress outform…" I mumble, looking at the table in front of me to avoid glancing at her.

"Oh, well… I suppose I'm a bit self conscious now, but it was because you're always serving others. I was curious to see how it was on your end and well, I suppose it was to thank you for your service." Lady Blanc says, not missing a beat.

It's not exactly extravagant or anything, but it's a very simple white blouse, black skirt, and dark brown apron. If she were holding a coffee pot, it'd complete the package.

"I suppose that it's also a good practice run."

"Hm?"

"I was about to ask if you can keep a secret, but you're a terrible liar." She says, chuckling while putting another paper down. "However, I think you're not one to spill, anyways."

"Lady Blanc?"

"When you said I had some kind of ulterior motive, you were right." She says as I look back at her, a curious expression on my face. "I have someone, is what I mean. I could have gone public about it, but forgive me for being a coward about it."

"Oh, no, it's… I think especially with what happened to me, it's definitely understandable."

"If I had been willing to come out earlier about it, perhaps you becoming friends with Noire would have been something no one raised an eyebrow about, though." Lady Blanc says, closing her eyes. "But, after this, I intend to come out with him. It might take some convincing, but I'm sure he'll be willing to go through with it."

"I can talk with him, if you need me to."

Lady Blanc chuckles, leaning back in her chair. "That would be most appreciated."

"But, you should… change back. I think that if anyone should see you in a special outfit, it would be him."

"Ha, well, I suppose if it discomforts you that much. If you'll excuse me."

"But, you know, I think he'll really like it. It suits you."

"Elliot."

"O-oh, sorry. I shouldn't say that kind of thing to a woman who has a boyfriend." I say, scratching the back of my head. Blanc just has another low chuckle as she goes into the bedroom to change out.

A few minutes later, she comes out, fixing her hair. "Anyways, I was about to say, Elliot. Regarding moving to Lastation and resurrecting White Rabbit."

I gulp, both wanting to hear this news but also wishing I could forget everything in regards to ever potentially moving. But there's no running away now, is there…

"It's more than possible. Based on the poll data, it seems there's still a large cult following and a deep sense of nostalgia. In fact, there are rumors according to some of the forum posts Kei printed out dated to just under two weeks ago that people think your shop is definitely the successor to White Rabbit. I imagine that coming out publicly about the shop's history, especially with your mentor's backing, along with a link to Lastation through Noire, will increase the amount of people who would be interested to skyrocket. Additionally, taking a look at the properties around where Lapin House currents resides, you pay roughly the same for rent as the area around where White Rabbit was has come on rough times, so rent is fairly low compared to what you'd normally pay for, so if you're living a comfortable life with your expenses versus your income, then you're already set."

I sigh, shaking my head. "I see."

"You sound disappointed."

"Well, it would've been easier if it hadn't been the case a move was possible…"

"It sounds like you wanted an excuse not to go." Lady Blanc says, folding her hands together.

"It's… not that. It's more… it would've been easier if I didn't have a choice, you know? But now I have to actually really think about what I want to do."

"If it were only so easy." Lady Blanc says, patting me on the shoulder. "But like I said, I'll be with you every step of the way. Even if you come to regret your decision, I'll help you work through it."

"Thank you, Lady Blanc."

"Though, compared to last time, have you told IF the news?"

"I did. She… pushed me to go to Lastation. Along with a lot of teasing about Noire falling for me if she came to visit everyday, complete with an impression of her."

"And how did that impression go, if I may ask?"

"Something along the lines of… 'I'll come to your shop and have breakfast every day. I've fallen for you, please go out with me.' I don't think Noire would say something like that, though."

There's a pause and when I glance over at Lady Blanc, she's got an expression on her face as if she's thinking hard about something. After a bit though, she closes her eyes and… sighs? "You're right. Noire wouldn't be so direct about it. When you told her, was there anything else of note?"

"We… well, IF said we should clarify what our feelings were about each other, since we might get asked about it on the show or at least I would." I say, my cheeks feeling a bit heated due to being self conscious about it.

"And what did you tell her?"

"That… I only saw her as a friend."

"My goodness, I can't believe you managed to get away with such a big lie. Well, thinking about it, it's not that big of a lie, but a lie nonetheless." Lady Blanc says, holding back some laughter with a smile appearing on her lips. "Unless you were caught, but the lack of an awkward atmosphere between you two before today was telling."

"I asked IF if we could say it back to back, so I wouldn't have to face her."

"Ah, so you could avoid being detected. I imagine she went along with it because saying something like that is quite embarrassing." Lady Blanc says with a nod. "And I imagine she said the same?"

"Yeah, basically just friends as well, but I… I don't know, I just wondered if IF was lying, too. I wouldn't know if she was. You wouldn't… happen to know how either of them really feel, would you?"

Lady Blanc shakes her head. "Even if I were to, I wouldn't tell you. It would cheapen your struggle and more importantly, it would mean you're making a decision based off of their feelings rather than your own. You know, the thing that we've been working hard to get you to stop doing."

The rather pointed way Lady Blanc says it makes me curl up a bit.

"Ah, sorry, that was quite harsh."

"No, I get what you meant, but your tongue is pretty sharp sometimes."

"I've tried to work on it since I don't want to be too hard on my sisters." Lady Blanc mumbles sheepishly, scratching her right cheek. "I used to be fine with it, but your priorities change when you have someone else you think about in your life."

"They do, don't they?"

"And so I think that's why you're finding it hard to go. If IF wasn't in your life, this would've been a decision made in a heartbeat."

"Yeah… if this had been a time before I met IF and became friends with her, then definitely I wouldn't have hesitated. All of this data and my mentor asking me to go? There's no way I would've said no."

"I have to say, for someone who says that you're only considering asking her if you two could get to know each other better, not even committing to something like a full blown confession of love, your feelings are rather strong to cause this much hesitation."

"I think it's… I'm scared, to be honest."

"Of what, exactly?" Lady Blanc asks.

"Of… casting something good I have away again. I did the same with my girlfriend in high school, just before college, thinking it was for the best. While I pushed it to the back of my mind, there's always been a lingering regret. I'm just scared that if I move to Lastation, I'll be throwing everything away again. A chance to know IF better, my current friendship with her, all of that, because I can't ask her to come to Lastation with me. So I'm… I'm just a bit scared of losing it without even trying anything.

"Not to mention everything changing… I mean, if it had just been you know, IF and I, then that would be that. But I'm just scared too, that if I asked IF something like that and she didn't say yes, that it'd change, well… things like this. If it would change the fact I can talk to you like this, or how Rom and Ram are with me, or even the fact that I can run into Neptune in the streets and have a fun chat."

"I see, I see. That's understandable. But I'd be careful not to conflate the two. Your fear of loss isn't the same thing as weighing your feelings for IF. They're intertwined, but you should think of them as two separate things. Staying in Planeptune because you fear losing things won't be the same feeling as you staying in Planeptune because you want to act on those feelings you have."

"Ah… thank you, Blanc. I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

"And… I think that you shouldn't be afraid." Lady Blanc says, taking my hands into hers. Similar to Lady Noire, her hands are divinely soft, indicating someone who takes very good care of them. She leans down and looks up into my eyes, as if pleading with me to believe her. "While we're all friends with IF, only Neptune is especially close with her. No matter what happens, I will not treat you any differently, and neither will my sisters. I promise you that, on my position as a CPU of Lowee.

"Second, I think that Rom and Ram don't care much for what you are to IF or Noire. As long as you remain kind and responsible in their eyes, then I am sure they will continue to look kindly on you. If you'd like me to ask their opinion, I can do that much as well."

"Thank you. I… thank you, that much encouragement means a lot to me. And you don't, really, I think just hearing that much already fills me with courage."

"I'm glad I could give it to you. After having endured quite a lot because of our cowardice, it's only fair that we come to your side during your time of need." Lady Blanc says, letting go of my hands and leaning back. "They have been clamoring for some time, you know, for a weekend where they can visit your shop. There's nothing quite like it in Lowee."

"Ha… well, just let me know if they'd like to work again. I'm sure everyone would be happy in general to see them. They do have a way of lighting up a room, you know?"

Lady Blanc has a small smile at that, nodding. "That they do. But, I'm curious about something else."

"Hm? What is it?"

"How did it start?" Lady Blanc asks with a knowing grin.

"Honestly, I think… it was probably the gala that kickstarted everything. Before, just being friends with IF was fine, even when Compa would tease us, but when the gala happened the question suddenly was raised. The world had flipped out of nowhere, and all of a sudden, I, this small time baker was being considered as the boyfriend of one of the CPUs. I guess I became… a lot more aware of my relationships with everyone? What didn't help was IF's pushing towards Noire, which seems friendly and teasing at the start, but as time went on, it became a little less teasing and more serious, along with her trying to withdraw.

"And I think that's what set it off for me, really. I realized I didn't want to lose her and that I felt just a bit stronger than friendship. It's not that I fell in love or anything, but it was just… realizing that hey, if Gregory, the man who gave me everything and was my mentor who I greatly respect, personally asked me to come to Lastation and resurrect his legacy, and one of those reasons I hesitated was IF, then… yeah, maybe I did want to just be a little more than friends. Friends come and go, I've known that for a long time, it's just… ahaha, wow this is… this is really embarrassing, huh…?"

"Hahaha, well, I'm glad you can admit it, at least."

"Did you know?"

"I had my inklings during the gala. Actually, even before then. The way you two talked, there was definitely some chemistry there. In fact, before you clarified your relationship, I thought that surely, IF was just hiding her boyfriend from Neptune."

"Ahaha… is that why you were a little mad at the gala?"

"Well, I can't deny that I thought I was teaching you so you could impress IF at the gala with a dance. Imagine my surprise when it ended up being for Noire. Of course, learning it was to help her out since Kei was gone that night softened things up, but I did think the two of you fit together."

"And now?"

"Now…?" Lady Blanc only grins. "If I told you, you might make a decision based on that. About whether or not you should pursue or give up on IF. Because that's what this decision boils down to, when it comes down to your priorities, doesn't it?"

I can't help but gulp, a nervous shiver running through my body. Even if IF said she'd transfer to the Lastation branch, I couldn't ask that of her, especially with how attached she is to Planeptune. So ultimately, it's… yes, about if I'm willing to take a risk on IF. Moving away to Lastation is in a way, giving up on her, since we'll see each other less and less and lose that connection we have. If I stay here, she'll still be here, but at the cost of not fulfilling my mentor's wish. But if my priorities are… what I want to be, in the context of IF, if I want to act on these small feelings and just ask if we can even just maybe know each other more than we do now, then…

I feel hands slightly grip my shoulders, giving them a good squeeze. When I look over my shoulder, it's of course Lady Blanc, who likely moved while I was stewing in my thoughts.

"You have the luxury of time, Elliot. No one's asking you to make a choice right now. Now that you know all of this, I want only one thing from you."

"And that is, Lady Blanc…?"

"I want you to think very hard on this. While it's technically reversible, if you decide to move back from Lastation, I think that you'll find it's a lot harder with your work ethic and all. Not to mention that with how much time will have passed, the relationship between you and IF will undoubtedly change. There will be no way to leap back to how you were months or years ago. You'll both be changed people. Therefore, you should consider this a very big no turning back point. So think, stumble, struggle, and worry—until you're able to make a choice and commit to it."

"I… thank you, Blanc." I say as she ruffles my head from behind.

"You've taken on a rather large burden for all of us, but I believe your trials have only yet to come. After all, while we've talked about how you're considering acting on your feelings for IF, there's one implication."

"And that is…?"

"While I'm unsure of her true feelings, based on how IF has pushed you and with her latest reactions, it's not exactly unfeasible to believe Noire has romantic feelings for you." Lady Blanc pauses, allowing me to digest just… what that means. "And that means if you intend to chase after IF, you may have to rebuff Noire's advances. Assuming they exist."

"R-right…" I stammer back, feeling my blood chill.

"Well, you shouldn't worry so much about it. Besides, I think Noire is aware that you're not in a state to answer her if she were to hypothetically ask you out, with you considering your shop. I am sure that were she to ask you, it would highly influence your decision to stay or go, and I don't think Noire is so cutthroat that she would push on you like that. We all have those same fears, Elliot, of things changing, and I'm sure she recognizes you have a lot of weight on your shoulders and wants you to be of sound mind. That, and if I continue along this assumption, she is likely in a position similar to you; weighing if she'd like to take that risk of reaching out to you much like you're reaching out to IF, and what that entails should she, or you, be turned down.

"Fortunately, regarding all of this, it's not as if you're committing to marriage or anything like that. From what you've told me, you're just asking to get to know IF better. If anything, it's simply dating. If it doesn't work out, then perhaps you two are better off just as friends, and well, perhaps then Noire might take a chance at you." Lady Blanc says, nodding. "However, even if you simply ask IF out, it won't make the short term sting of not being chosen hurt any less."

"Yeah… that's true. But, another question."

"Hm?"

"If… let's say I choose to stay for a while, and IF ultimately turns me down, it would seem kind of scummy just to leave Planeptune then and there, right?"

"Yes, yes it would." Lady Blanc says with a nod. "If that happens, I'm sure that if you give it time, perhaps three months, is when you could announce you plan on leaving for Lastation. It's enough time for the wounds to heal. IF would understand after that much time has passed, that without much tying you to Planeptune other than your childhood, you'd seek off opportunity in Lastation. You'd be losing three months of potential time in Lastation however, and right now at the height of your popularity and public interest, you could really capitalize on a move. If you wait that long, that kind of interest might sputter out. Just to give a balanced outlook on this, Elliot."

"I see."

"But like I said, I'll be there every step of the way." Lady Blanc says, releasing me and going to sit down.

"Thank you…"

"Fortunately, your flight is tomorrow, right? You should have some time to clear your head and I'll let Vert know a few things."

"A few things?"

"Ah, just some pointers she could use to help you keep your head clear. You should take this time to relax, Elliot. There's no need to constantly be bearing burden after burden. You deserve a break every now and then."

"Thanks. Well, hopefully I am able to clear my head. Truth be told I am a bit worried about staying with Lady Vert…"

"Ah, I suppose there is some worry." Lady Blanc then furrows her eyebrows. "You aren't prone to sudden nosebleeds, are you?"

"No?"

"Then you're not in danger. Vert is heavy on the teasing side, but she wouldn't take it any further than that. It'll take a while to get used to her though, but that's all you need to know. Then again, you are probably the kind of person she'd want to get the rise out of the most. You do react to things quite easily."

"I'm sorry I can't be calm all the time."

"Well, regardless, I believe that's all I have to say for tonight unless you have something you'd like to ask me."

"Oh, nothing… oh well, I guess even if I move to Lastation, please know that Ram and Rom are welcome to volunteer any time."

Lady Blanc smiles as she walks for the door. "I see. I'm sure that'll make them quite happy. Good luck, Elliot, and I'm rooting for you. If you ever need any advice, don't hesitate to ask. Not just because it involves you, but everyone involved in this are my friends."

I nod as Lady Blanc opens the door. "Thanks again, and I will. Good night, Blanc. Tell Rom and Ram I said hi."

"They'll be glad to hear it."

After Lady Blanc leaves, closing the door behind her, I immediately go and run a bath, thankful to have a moment to myself.

After soaking in a bath for some time and then getting dressed in my pajamas, I look out the window in my bedroom, stewing in my thoughts. While it's fantastic to have this burden of hiding myself lifted, I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I didn't. Or if I had chosen any other time.

If I had say, just asked Lady Blanc a week later about coming out, I would've missed meeting Gregory, and thus missed his request right then and there to move the shop. It might've come later, but… maybe if it had been another time, I might've been stronger about it.

My phone buzzes. When I check it, it's a text from Melanie.

"Hey, you still up?"

"Yeah."

"Just wanted to say thanks for taking the heat off of me. Some people were questioning my authenticity as a journalist."

"It's fine. If they'd like a written statement, I can say you didn't contact me or anything like that."

"No, it's fine."

There's a pause in the text messages before the next one comes in.

"Hey, you said that you were only friends, but…"

"I'm still just as bad as a liar."

"That's not a denial, Elliot. But then again I can't hear you or see your face."

I can't help but smile a bit. Even all these years later, and I'm still horrible at lying.

"So make sure you don't lie to her or yourself, okay?"

Before I can ask who "her" refers to, I receive a "Good night, Elliot" and a "I'm sure she's waiting". Ha… all of this added pressure, too, with everyone thinking Lady Noire and I are a thing. I guess that's another thing I'm going to have to deal with going forward, but at the very least I've engaged it on my own terms.

I just hope that going forward, I won't make a decision I'll come to regret.

"How was your talk last night?" IF asks, breaking the silence as we wait around at a terminal in a smaller airport that's generally used for private jets compared to the international airport of Lastation. Since it's a smaller airport, there's no one really around, or at least, not as many prying eyes and ears.

IF of course, isn't dressed as she usually is, instead opting for a sleeker, more professional look with a pinstriped suit, though the fabric on the inside is a dark blue as if to mimic her coat. She's even got on a matching black newsboy hat. I'm dressed in somewhat similar clothing, albeit it's more business casual, with black khakis and a red short sleeved button up.

"It went alright." I say back, looking down at my lunch IF bought, which is a half finished warmed turkey-club with bacon. "She mostly just thanked me for everything and I asked about the twins."

"Ah, I see." IF says, leaning back against the wall. "Well, aside from that, got everything?"

"Yeah, I made sure to double check before we left the hotel." I say, nodding. "Oh, and right, I got it while you were in the bathroom earlier."

"Hm? Oh, come on…" IF grumbles, but I can tell it's not serious as I present her with a box of caramel filled chocolates. "I told you that you didn't have to."

"Well, more specifically, you said save it for after everything goes well. And that you were practicing delayed gratification."

IF only rolls her eyes as she takes the red box with a golden ribbon around it. "Geez… but thanks."

"I should be saying that, you've been a great help, really."

IF adjusts her hat, looking down and away from me. "Well, it's what I do for my friends, you know?"

"Yeah, but still. It never hurt anyone to say thanks."

"If you really want to thank me, maybe you'll take me up on a weight lifting routine when you get back." IF says, looking back at me with a teasing smile.

"No thanks, my arms are sore enough at the end of the day and I don't want to go into the morning lifting weights."

"Aww, come on. It'll be fun." IF says, nudging me. "We'll start off light, you won't feel a thing."

"I totally believe you."

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"...okay, that's fair." I mumble, trying not to wonder about when we talked at the park. "But I mean, do I really have to?"

"You don't, but girls like at least a fit kind of guy, right? Gotta start packing on that muscle for you know who." IF says, flashing another grin. "Though, um, hey."

"Yeah?"

"We're still on for that vacation, right? Summer and the usual season for vacation is coming up, so…"

"Ah, right. I'll phone my parents after I land and get situated, I don't think they'll have any issues with me using the beach house they have." I say, looking at IF who seems to have some kind of conflicted look on her face.

"I'm surprised that you didn't turn out to be some kind of spoiled rich kid considering that you've apparently got a private beachside vacation home." IF says as I put a reminder on my phone.

"Well, they made me work for any spending money and taught me the value of hard work."

"I can tell, with your shop."

"Thanks. That means a lot, really, from you. But it's not like we were filthy rich or anything."

"No butlers?"

"I wish we had one, that would've been pretty neat." I say, laughing. "But no, they were pretty smart with their money, they wouldn't have spent it on things like that. I'll keep you updated, though. If anything, it means we won't have to spend money on a hotel or anything like that."

"Honestly, that's going to be one of the more expensive items considering how it's going to be peak season. But nothing quite like the ocean during summer, right?"

"Definitely."

Our conversation is interrupted by the local PA system. "Attention, Red Airlines Flight 9029, departing to Leanbox Fairway Private Airport, will begin preboarding momentarily. All passengers, please have your boarding pass ready."

I get up, hastily stuffing my sandwich into one of my bag's free pockets before reaching inside my jacket to grab my boarding pass.

"Hey." IF says as I adjust the straps on my backpack. "...be careful, okay?"

"You told me she'd do nothing but tease, though."

"I know, it's just…" IF mutters, looking down at her feet before looking back up at me. "I'm still going to worry. You're...well, you, you know?"

"Haha, that's true. But that's fine, that's what friends do, right?"

IF grins, though there's a light dash of red on her cheeks that could be attributed to the sunlight filtering through the windows. "Yeah, friends."

I can't help it, but I reach my left hand over and ruffle her hair a bit.

"H-hey, I'm not a kid anymore…!" IF protests, pushing my hand away.

"Sorry, it's just… you looked like you really needed it."

"Sheesh!" IF grumbles, crossing her arms.

"But it's okay, you won't have to worry about me. And if I do get in trouble, somehow, I know you'll know."

"You put too much faith in me, you know? I'm not omnipotent or anything like that."

"You said you'd be there for me since trouble always finds a way. Plus, you never lose, so I know you'd never lose me."

IF then gives me a playful shove, trying not to laugh. "You really say the most embarrassing things sometimes with a straight face, you know?"

"I like to think it's because I'm too used to being honest." I say, with both of us having a laugh, several onlookers turning their heads towards us.

"Yeah, well, save that talk for you know who." IF says, putting her left hand on her hip. "Guess I'll start walking to my terminal, huh? You should be all right from here."

"Mhm. See you later."

"See you later."

With one last parting wave, the two of us walk in opposite directions. I get the feeling IF wouldn't want me to look back, so I force myself not to turn my head to check behind me as I start to shuffle in with everyone else in the boarding lanes.

Unlike last time something like this happened though, there's no "normal" that we can return. After all, with my name being out there, this is the new normal. But at least I don't have to live on eggshells anymore, that I'll be outed somehow.

All I've got to do now though, is just figure out just what I want to do about the shop and everyone in my life. And hopefully, maybe, somehow, we'll be able to go back to those carefree days.

A much shorter chapter than usual, just the usual denouement after the big event of last chapter. Truthfully, I think this chapter should've been combined with the last one, but for pacing reasons I thought it was probably better to split them. Hindsight's a bitch, huh?

Next one will be the start of the Vert arc. This would've been out last week but I got distracted with some game development shenanigans and then I had a really bad sinus clog to the point it hurt if I moved my head too much, yikes.

Anyways, fun chapter, I've mostly written out the Vert arc, I'm just really losing steam for this one scene because I for the life of me can't figure out how the hell to pull off what I want to pull off, but there shouldn't be any schedule slips (hopefully). Overall this chapter sort of had some parallels to the last denouement as well, but mostly was just being used to set up what the internal conflict for Elliot will be going forward now that he's mostly overcome being used to being around the goddesses.

And of course, with the notes of summer coming around the corner in-story and a beach house, oh God please forgive me for I am about to commit the sin of a beach episode.

Either way, not much else to say here. Writing Blanc was a bit hard here, but I think it came off as okay. I wanted to make her genuinely thankful as she was hiding something, while also still keeping a balanced mindset as she's the confidant for Elliot's feelings, as she doesn't want to influence his actions, but she'll support them. It felt like a very Blanc thing to do, especially considering how she realizes the rather precarious position everyone is in.

Either way, I want the Vert arc to be much more relaxed compared to the build-up of the Noire arc and then the follow-up of the Blanc arc. Expect some fluff and a lot less drama shenanigans as we kind of dial back. The Vert arc is fairly short as well though, but I suppose it's fitting since in-story Elliot is only there for three weeks.

Anyways, let me know what you thought. See you guys next chapter. As usual, with all the craziness going on in the world, stay safe, coming from a random man on the internet who writes fanfiction for fun.