October 1874
« Souji » called Haruhi « I need the... »
Haruhi slid the shoji to find Souji all dressed up in his wedding attire. Damn, he was handsome. He may not be marrying her but seeing him like this had something special, maybe because she wasn't used to it.
He was wearing a white hakama and red kimono and haori on top with the exact same color. All the outfit was made of silk and was glossy, making Haruhi want to touch it. On his haori, and probably on the kimono even if she couldn't see it, his kamon was repeated five times as suitable, on shoulders, sleeves and back as a single flowering quince in a circle. She always wondered if it was his birth family crest, since he was born from a samurai family, or if he chose it like her father chose his bamboo leaves one when he became captain of the Shinsengumi.
It was quite rare to see Souji with such a vibrant color. He was mostly wearing brown or grey, sometimes green or indigo but never before had she seen him in red.
« Done staring ? »
The question made her startle and her face quickly took the color of his haori.
« Ah sorry, Souji ! » she said, bowing.
« What do you think ? » he asked, turning on himself.
« Stop moving, Tsunashi-sama or I may make a mistake in the measurements ! »
Haruhi's eyes were so captured by Souji that she hadn't even noticed earlier the tailor who was shortening a little Souji's hakama so he wouldn't trip on it.
« I... hum... It's... »
« It's too red, right ? » he chuckled « I would have prefered a darker shade but apparently Tama's gonna be in red and white and she wanted us to wear the same color. I guess I can at least do that before condemning her to my everyday presence. »
That explained it. Souji never would have chosen a red so... bright. It just didn't suit him even if dressed like this, he really was appealing. But that was the « wedding attire » effect. No doubt another color would have had made him even more dashing.
« I think it looks nice. » she said politely « And it's also nice of you to wear the same color as your bride. »
« Hum... » Souji crossed his arms, frowning « Isn't it strange though, to wear red ? »
« Why would it be ? » she asked « Lots of bride wear red on their wedding day. »
« Yeah... I guess... » he muttered « Maybe I just can't seem to fathom the values held by that color in our union. »
« like abondance ? »
« And passion... » he sighed « anyway, at least, if you're planning on a bloodbath, I won't be stained. » he smirked.
Haruhi didn't answer but smiled with him, happy to see him capable to laugh about that marriage even if she still didn't know how to stop it. She turned it every way in her head and she couldn't find how to prove that Tsune was lying. Kondou-san wasn't around anymore to say what his wishes were and the truth was burried with him. That damn woman was probably gonna get her way and Haruhi was starting to accept, little by little, that Souji could be the man of another and never hers. It was time anyway, Souji only had two days left before he had to become a married man. Tsune had been coming nearly everyday for the preparations and everything was now ready.
« Ne, Haru-chan » he said « if you were to marry, which color would you choose ? »
« I never thought about it... » she answered genuinely, thinking.
« Really ? » he lifted an eyebrow « I thought all girls were planning their wedding in their mind since they were children. »
« Yeah, well, when I was a child, the idea of marriage seemed rather abstract » she muttered « and then I couldn't picture my wedding while the only man I ever loved was... gone. »
« Hum... » he seemed to think « then are you never gonna marry if you can't stop this wedding ? »
« I don't think so. » she shook her head with a smile.
« Somehow... » he muttered « it is of some confort... I guess I'm too selfish to wish you happiness with another. »
Souji's eyes seemed to study her for a while and he eventually smiled genuinely.
« I think I picture you in blue. » he nodded.
« Blue isn't really a color to bless an union. » she frowned « for the bride, at least. »
« Yeah, I know » he said « but I think blue suits you well, as well as its meaning of strength. »
« That meaning is for a man. » she chuckled « for a girl, it's passivity. »
« Hum... » he pouted « then I guess red would do. The red of passion. »
« That is, if I marry someone I'm passionate about. » she chuckled again « Seems like the odds are against me, don't you think ? »
« I'm sorry... » he sighed « I truly wish things could have been different. »
He looked through the window pensively and opened his mouth again.
« The age difference between Tama and I is more than her entiere lifetime... » he gritted his teeth, ashamed « And how am I supposed to defile Kondou-san's daughter ? How am I supposed to respect her while doing it when I will be forcing myself on her ? I'm pretty sure she doesn't desire me. »
« It's a bit late to trouble yourself with these questions... » frowned Haruhi « Maybe you should have asked them to yourself before agreeing to this marriage. Yet, you're still not married. If you want to break your engagement... »
« No. » he shook his head « I'll do Kondou's will. »
« What if it's not Kondou-san's will ? »
« Don't, please Haruhi. » he frowned « don't spread doubt now... How can we know ? Tsune was his wife. Her words hold value to me and I want to believe that she wouldn't lie to me. »
Haruhi understood that it was pointless to push the subject and nodded. Tsune won in the end and she was out of ideas. Souji would do his duty, accordingly to Kondou's supposed wish.
« Ne, Souji » she smiled « Would you like me to wear blue at your wedding ? »
« I think so. » he smiled sadly « and we would know the true meaning of that color : your strength and will. »
« At least, Tama's a good girl » nodded Haruhi « She'd take care of you and the Shieikan. »
« You won't stay ? » he asked, his eyes pleading even if he was trying to keep impassive.
« I don't know... » she confessed « a few weeks ago, I would have rather died than become your concubine. Now... I'm not so sure anymore. I'll need time, before the wedding, after the wedding, see how things go and if it's possible for me to live here when you both are married. See how Tama feels about it too. She has feelings and this is not only about you and me. »
Souji shook his head and smiled genuinely.
« Ara... Even in this situation you think about others... » he muttered « I wish I could do the same. You really are something, Haru-chan. » he marked a pause and lost his smile « Yet, I am glad that you are considering to stay, even if you're not certain. I need you. »
« Did you get Shinpachi and Heisuke's reply to the invitation ? » she asked.
« Shin'll be coming with his family and Heisuke can't wander around during the day so he probably won't come, or maybe just in the evening but there is nothing really planned for the evening... » he muttered and avoided her gaze and she understood that the only thing planned for the evening was his first marital night.
« Alright, Tsunashi-sama, it's over if you want to change back to more casual clothes. »
« Thank you. » smiled Souji to the tailor, happy to be allowed to move again « I'll accompany you. »
Souji and Haruhi guided the tailor to the entrance of the Shieikan and thanked him for his work. They were surprised to find Tama outside and even more surprised that she was alone. The girl became as red as Souji's haori when she saw him.
« Good afternoon, Souji, Haru-chan... » she bowed politely, hiding her flustered face.
« Good afternoon, Tama-chan » smiled Souji « hey, what do you think ? Do you like it ? »
« Souji, you're embarrassing her ! » scolded Haruhi.
« No, it's... » she stuttered « It's... great. You look good. »
« I'm sure you'll be very pretty too, Tama-chan. » he smiled softly « what do you want ? »
« Hum... I... I wanted to speak with Haru-chan... » she bowed « If... If it's okay... I'm sorry for bothering you but I went to the potter and he told me I'll find you here. I called but maybe you didn't hear... »
« Yeah, I work here during the day. » explained Haruhi « I still live with Kurozawa-sensei though. You wanna come in or would you rather have me step out ? »
« You girls can stay here. » nodded Souji « I'm gonna get rid of this and I have to go to town anyway. I'll probably come back super late so, Haruhi, don't wait for me and go back home when you're finished. »
« Thank you, Souji » bowed Tama.
Souji didn't answer and he disappeared to change his clothes. Tama got off her sandals and followed Haruhi to the kitchen where the latter poured some tea, then to the room where Souji usually received visitors.
« So, what can I do for you, Tama-chan ? »