Fifteenth part : secrets

Jim One Republic – I lived

It had been one week since Chris and I were together and what a week! I couldn't stop smiling. Guys at work didn't stop teasing me on how and why I was so blissfully happy. I just answered it was because I was in a right place by now: my mom was back in prison where she (unfortunately) belonged, my job was awesome and I had very good friends. But I didn't think they bought it.

Chris looked at me and winked at me. She was smiling all the time too. And each time, I saw her smiling I felt a little lighter. She told to the guys to let me alone. As the only girl of the gang, they listened to her… for a few minutes. As soon as she went out of the locker room, Tan and Luca came back and asked me so many questions.

"How is she?" "For how long?" "Is she pretty?" "How did you meet her?" "Is she really a she?" "Come on bro, tell us more!"

I couldn't stop laughing. "Come on guys! Why is there always a girl with you? Why can I just be happy because for once my life is not only about drama and crisis?"

They remained silent for a moment and went out of the room. I was finally alone… That was when Chris came into the room and jumped on me. She kissed me. OMG it felt so good!

"Aren't you afraid someone surprises us?"

"I've checked before coming. Deac is back home, Tan and Luca went to a bar and Hondo is in Hicks' office. I couldn't wait to be at home."

We kissed again. My hands touched her tiny body and I forgot about all the mess we had to clean during our work day. We finally got apart. I loved watching into her deep, intense, ebony eyes. She left first. Then I went out of the the room and went to my bike and drove to my apartment. I needed new clothes. There, I saw Luca who was in the yard.

"You're finally at home! I haven't seen you there for a while!"

I knew he wanted to know where I went every night, where I vanished for days, why I was always smiling. To avoid this list of questions, I distracted his attention and asked him about Kelly and her mother. He flushed so hard I already knew the answer. Luca was in love with this woman. I was very happy for him. He was such a good guy, he deserved to be happy.

He offered me a beer. I couldn't refuse. I texted Chris to tell her I was gonna be late because I stayed a little with Luca. She asked me if she could come. I would have loved to tell her to come but we needed to be discreet. How could we have justified that she came to North Hollywood while she was leaving at the other side of the town?

It was a nice night but I felt relieved when I got back to Chris'. She was waiting for me in the coach watching a TV show. I took off my jacket and my shoes and lay next to her. I hugged her. She kissed me on the cheek and smiled. I hugged her stronger. We were just where we were supposed to be. Life seemed so easy when we were together. I felt like nothing could happen to them as long as we stayed side by side.

Days passed and then weeks. Chris and I were always together. Our couple (because we were a couple, I still couldn't believe it was true!) was stronger as ever. I love spending time with her. She was the most important person of my life and I thought she knew it. Some said it was not a good thing to be always together days and nights but it suited me.

At work, we tried to be as discreet as possible. I often had troubles to get away from her. I would have loved to touch her, to hug her, to cuddle her but it was impossible. Being together was already a violation of the SWAT rules and we had to live with this sword of Damocles over our heads every day. But since the moment we had confronted and accepted our feelings for each other, we both understood we could never live apart.

I almost lived at Chris' apartment even if we didn't talk about this. I spent all my nights with her and only went back to my place to take something I needed. Luca saw me come and go, smiled every time I took some new clothes, books or games. He saw my room was getting emptier and emptier. But he remained silent. We both knew it was the end of an era. Kelly and her mom spent more and more time in the house while I was clearing my room out.

Our lives were more and more intertwined, linked. Chris insisted I met her uncle Sarzo and the rest of her family. I was not sure it was a good idea. Not that I didn't want to know Chris' closest ones but was it a good idea when we tried to keep our relationship secret at SWAT? What if someone saw us? What if someone in Chris' family knew someone who knew another person who knew someone at work? I might have been paranoid but I didn't want to lose what we had just built with Chris. It was too priceless.

But I needed to meet her family. And I deeply knew she felt the same way. The next weekend, I met Uncle Sarzo, Auntie Lina, cousins Thomas, Maria and Angelica. Chris grew up with them and I could feel all the love they shared. It was beautiful to see so much love, so much respect between people. I didn't want to disrupt this moment of peace so I stayed apart. I loved seeing them so heppy to be reunited.

A man came close to me. "Hi young man ! Why are you staying apart? Come and join us! By the way, I'm Sarzo, Chris' uncle and you are?"

I didn't know what to answer. "Um… Hi I'm Jim, Jim Street. I'm a friend of you niece… Sorry I didn't want to…"

Uncle Sarzo took my arm and led me up to the rest of the family. Chris smiled at me. Uncle Sarzo kept asking me questions. I tried to stay as vague as possible. I couldn't call her my girlfriend. Not yet. Not here. Sarzo winked at me. "Thank you for making my cariῆa so happy. I've never seen her so glowing, so peaceful."

I remained alone in the middle of the yard. I was both anxious and relieved another person knew about us. I finally joined Chris. My hand brushed her and I felt like an electric shock through my body. She was my girl and I was happy she brought me to her family.

The rest of the day spent so well. I figured out I had a lot of common points with Thomas. We both loved bikes and cars, dreamt of drinking Japanese whisky and of going to Australia! I also discovered Chris had given him her bone marrow when she was 12 because he had leukemia. This little chit of a woman amazed me days after days. She never told me about this. I guessed she would have never did. She was too shy when it came to her personal life.

He also told me about Chris being kidnapped by a gang at the age of 15 because they had thought she was the girlfriend of a rival gang leader, how she had been scared to go out of the house for months, how she had feared for her life for years and how this event convinced her to become a cop because she wanted to change the world. We spent hours to talk. It was like I had always known him. "You're a good guy, Jim. I'm glad my cousin found someone like you. But don't tell her, she'll say I'm a weaky!"

This evening when we got back to Chris' apartment, I was fine. As I drove my bike, I realized I had finally found my place: I was with the woman I loved, we were living the best of our lives and I was the happiest man in the world.